Diff'rent Strokes (1978–1986): Season 5, Episode 19 - Hall Monitor - full transcript
Arnold, realizing that Kathy is struggling to fit in at public school, encourages her to become hall monitor. He quickly realizes that he has created a monster when she begins to take her job too literally.
♪ Now, the world don't move
to the beat of just one drum
♪ What might be right for
you, may not be right for some
♪ A man is born,
he's a man of means
♪ Then along come two,
they got nothing but their jeans
♪ But they got,
Diff'rent Strokes
♪ It takes Diff'rent Strokes
♪ It takes Diff'rent
Strokes to move the world
♪ Everybody's got
a special kind of story
♪ Everybody finds a way to shine
♪ It don't matter
that you got not a lot
♪ So what
♪ They'll have theirs, you'll
have yours, and I'll have mine
♪ And together we'll be fine
♪ 'Cause it takes Diff'rent
Strokes to move the world
♪ Yes it does
♪ It takes Diff'rent
Strokes to move the world
- Willis, my psychology
class is so fascinating.
Listen to this.
The psychological components
of the human personality
are the ego, the
superego, and the id.
I've learned so
much in this class!
Especially about myself.
- You didn't have to go
through all that trouble.
I could've told you you
were off your rocker.
- I'll get it.
You know, Willis, Sigmund
Freud had a scientific term
for people with diseased
minds like yours.
He'd say, "You're nuts!"
- I beg your pardon?
I'm sorry, Mrs. Gordon.
I didn't mean you.
- Well, this is New York.
You had a 50-50
chance of being right.
- Hi, Mrs. Gordon.
- Oh, hi, Willis.
Ooh, are Kathy
and Arnold here yet?
- No, you beat them back.
- Oh, good.
I brought a cake to
celebrate the occasion.
Her first day in public
school is a big deal for Kathy.
- You know, it
took a lot of guts
for her to leave her
special school, Mrs. Gordon.
Mainstreaming can't be easy.
- Well, it was Arnold
who helped talk her into it.
- You know, it's
refreshing to see
the positive side
of peer pressure,
in the context of
adolescent dynamics.
- You'll have to excuse
Kimberly, Mrs. Gordon.
She's taking a psychology
class this semester,
and she's flipped her id.
- Excuse me.
Try this on your id, Willis.
Well, Kathy's really excited
about going to Arnold's school.
She couldn't wait to
get there this morning.
Oh, neither could Arnold.
He was so excited,
he accidentally
brushed his teeth
with Clearasil.
- Hi, Dorothy.
- Hey hey, Dad.
- Hi, Phil!
Hi, honey.
- Hey, Kathy!
- Well, how'd it go today?
- Rotten. I hate that school.
It's the pits.
- Other than that, she loved it.
- Sweetheart, what happened?
- Well, apparently the kids
weren't very friendly to her.
- Oh.
Oh, I'm so sorry, dear.
We thought you'd love it.
We even planned
a little party for you,
with a chocolate
cake and everything.
- Cake?
Uh, listen, Kathy.
If we can't celebrate,
maybe we can
drown our sorrows in chocolate.
- Mom, I wanna go
back to my old school.
- Listen, Kathy, the first
day is always the roughest.
But tomorrow's gonna
be a whole new day,
and you're gonna go in
there and do just great.
- Willis, go suck a brick.
- Kathy, that's very rude.
- I'm sorry, Willis.
I didn't mean to
take it out on you.
- That's okay, Kathy.
- Kathy, we all understand
why you're a little upset.
- I'm not a little upset.
I'm totally ticked off.
Just 'cause I use a wheelchair,
those kids treated me like dirt.
- Aw, that's nothin'.
They treat everybody like dirt.
Kathy, some of the
kids tried to talk to you,
but you were too
shy to talk to them.
- I'm not shy.
- Then what would you call it
when somebody
asks you a question
and you just go.
- Kathy, maybe you
were a little uncomfortable.
Why don't you try
it again tomorrow
and see how it goes?
- Sure, it's not like you
to give up this easily.
You've always been a fighter.
- Yeah, whatever
happened to the Kathy
who used to burn
rubber in that chair
and strike terror in the hearts
of the pedestrians
on 5th Avenue?
- Forget it.
My reign of terror is over.
- You know.
I was wrong about you.
You're not shy.
You're chicken.
- I am not!
It's just that when I get
around a bunch of strangers,
I get self-conscious
and just stop talking.
- Well, I get like
that too sometimes.
The trick is to never
let your mouth find out.
- You know, Kathy.
All of us get afraid
of things sometimes.
That's part of life.
But what we all have to
do is learn to deal with it.
I'll bet if you go back
to that school tomorrow,
everything will be just fine.
- Oh, I'm sure
it will be, honey.
Now, come on, you can do it.
- I don't know.
- Come on, Kathy.
Do it for me and for yourself.
- Sure, you can.
- I know you can.
- Come on, please?
- Okay, maybe I'll
give it just one more try.
- Hey, that's a girl.
- Aw, good girl.
- Yeah!
- Alright.
- You'll see.
Everybody'll love you if you
just give 'em half a chance.
You've got charm and humor
and you're full of personality.
- Know somethin', Arnold?
You're pretty
full of it yourself.
- That was the
only movie he did.
- Now, remember guys, when
Kathy comes in, be friendly.
Act nice, smile.
You've all seen The Waltons.
Hi!
Here's Kathy now.
We were just talking
about her, weren't we guys?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- I bet you guys
were just talking
about what a big jerk I
made of myself yesterday.
Kathy.
What about that positive
attitude we talked about?
- I thought that was positive.
- Alright, class, settle down.
Before we get
started this morning,
it's our class's turn to
elect a new hall monitor,
someone to watch
for running in the halls
or breaking any other rules.
Any volunteers?
- Who wants to be a
Rat Fink hall monitor?
- Not this Rat Fink.
- Dudley, Robbie, is
one of you volunteering?
- I can't, Miss Chung.
Uh, I hurt my foot.
- Oh?
How did you do that?
- Running in the halls?
- I see.
How 'bout you, Robbie?
- I hurt my foot chasing him.
Is there anyone
who'd like to volunteer?
If not, I'm going to have
to appoint somebody.
Arnold, would you
like to volunteer?
- No, no, no!
But, as class president, I'd
like to make a recommendation.
I would like to suggest someone
who would make
a great hall monitor.
- Alright, who?
- Kathy Gordon.
- Arnold, what are you doing?
- Don't worry.
You'll do great.
- Kathy, this is a
very important job.
We could really use your help.
- Miss Chung, I can't.
- She can't thank you enough
for your vote of confidence.
- Then it's settled.
Kathy Gordon is
our new hall monitor.
- Hey, alright!
- Hey, wait, wait.
I'm not the hall monitor type.
- Oh sure you are!
- No I'm not!
- Man, you look
great in that armband.
This is gonna do
wonders for you.
You'll get to know
everybody, you'll be important.
Don't you want respect?
- Do I look like
Rodney Dangerfield?
- Come on, Kathy, you can do it.
- Okay, if you say so.
According to these rules,
I'm supposed to
hand out demerits
for running in the halls,
fighting and throwing things,
and destruction of property.
- Right.
In other words,
just stop anybody
you see having a good time.
- Uh-Oh, that boy's
running in the hall.
What do I do?
- Stop him and
give him a demerit.
- Stop!
He didn't stop.
- 'Cause he didn't hear you.
You've gotta speak up!
Oh!
Here comes another runner.
Louder, this time.
- Okay.
Excuse me, could I
have a word with you?
Of course, if you're busy.
- Kathy, you've got
to get their attention.
Let 'em know you mean business.
Show some authority!
- Authority, huh?
Okay, I'll try it.
- Yeah.
- Hold it, turkey!
Get back here, bozo.
One demerit. Read it and weep.
- Wow!
You're loud, pushy, obnoxious.
Now that's the Kathy
I know and love.
- Thanks, Arnold.
Look out, PS406!
Iron Side is back.
Hey, ding-dong!
Pick up that piece of paper!
Hey, you over there!
Slow down!
What are you doing
with that basketball?
Hey, wait up, punk!
Yeah, uh-oh is right.
Now, no running in the halls.
And what are you doing
with that basketball?
Gimme that!
Here, no playing
basketball in the halls.
How many times have
I had to tell you that?
Now, I oughta have a
good mind to give you three.
- For tomorrow,
class, let's all read
the first 10 pages on
the American Revolution.
Unless some of you wanna
read the whole chapter.
No thanks.
I wouldn't wanna spoil
the surprise ending.
- Yes, that's a
real cliffhanger.
Uh, before the bell rings,
perhaps Kathy would like
to report on her first
day as hall monitor?
Kathy?
- Thank you, Miss Chung.
I have tried to keep
an eye on everything
that's been going down.
I have a list of the
criminals right here.
Uh, Glenn for
slamming his locker door,
Cindy and Melissa for loitering,
Carl for running,
Ralph for belching.
- Belching?
- Belching. The rule
says no loud noises.
- Kathy, when they
made these rules,
I don't think that's
what they had in mind.
- Well, obviously
they've never heard Ralph
after he's had a chili dog.
- Is that all, Kathy?
- Not quite.
- I nailed Dudley and Robbie
for dribbling a Nerf ball.
- Sounds like you've
had a busy day, Kathy.
- That was just morning recess.
There's more.
- Somebody's
missing from that list.
- Yeah, I wonder why she
didn't call your name, Arnold.
You were Nerf-ing
right along with us.
- Well, maybe she didn't see me.
I'm very quick, you know.
- At lunch, Eddie
for throwing litter,
Delores for blocking
the fire escape,
and Dudley and Robbie
for eating in the hall.
- Arnold, you were
there eating with us,
and she didn't mention
your name again.
- At the afternoon recess,
Jennifer, Sally, and
Wendy for singing,
and Dudley and
Robbie for booing.
- Arnold, you were booing
louder than any of us.
- And throwing fruit.
- Maybe she's going light
on me 'cause I missed.
- Is that all, Kathy?
- For now, but there
are a few other people
that I'm keeping my eye on.
I didn't wanna go
overboard on my first day.
- Speaking of overboard.
I wonder if she'd like to
go sailing this weekend.
- Alright, for those of
you who just got demerits,
I want you to a write
a hundred-word essay
on why it's important
to obey rules.
And, Dudley and Robbie, since
you have three demerits each,
you can stay after school.
I've got a few extra
chores in mind for you.
Class dismissed.
- Not so fast, Mr. Clean.
We wanna have a
little word with you.
- Me?
- Arnold, that isn't fair.
You did everything we did.
- Almost everything.
I didn't get caught.
- Yeah, but how come
you get off and we don't?
- Maybe it's because
I'm the president.
You know, full pardon?
- It's favoritism, and you better
do something about Kathy,
or you're gonna be
minus two friends.
- Yeah.
One, two.
- So much for friendship.
Boy, life sure isn't
like a beer commercial.
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- Kimberly, have you
seen my green jacket?
I can't find it anywhere.
- Really?
You know, my teacher
says when people lose things,
there's always a
psychological reason behind it.
Find the reason, and
you'll find your jacket.
- Thank you, Dr. Joyce Brothers.
- You know, maybe
you really don't
wanna play basketball today.
Maybe, deep down,
you'll afraid you'll get hurt.
Or maybe you're
afraid you'll play badly.
- Or maybe you're sitting on it.
Now that's using
your head, Kimberly.
- Maybe I don't want you
to play basketball today.
Maybe I have a
deep-seated block.
- Hey, Arnold!
- Hi.
- What's the matter, Arnold?
You look upset.
- I got problems.
Boy, do I have problems.
- That's very good, Arnold.
You've recognized
that you have a problem.
The next step is
to talk to somebody
who has a psychological
insight to these things.
- Kimberly's right, Arnold.
Dad, Arnold needs you!
- Willis, we don't
have to run to Dad
every time we've got a problem.
He's not the only intelligent
person in this family.
- Oh, I know.
But the other one's going
out to play basketball.
- Did I hear my name being
bruited about the marketplace?
- Yeah, Dad.
Arnold has a problem.
- Dad, I have to talk
to you about somethin'.
- Does it have
anything to do with
another cost of living
raise and your allowance?
- No.
- Then I'll stick around.
- It's about Kathy.
- Ohhhh.
What about Kathy?
- I got her appointed
hall monitor this morning,
and the power's
gone to her head.
She busted more kids in one day
than Starsky and
Hutch did in four years!
- Oh, come on, Arnold.
You're exaggerating.
- Not by much. The
woman's out of control.
- Well, at least you
got her out of her shell.
- Yeah, now I wish I
could stuff her back in.
Boy, if she doesn't
lighten up soon,
I'm gonna lose my
two best friends.
Dudley and Robbie
aren't even talking to me.
- Well, Arnold, Kathy
is going through
a very difficult period
in her life right now.
Maybe she doesn't even
realize what she's doing.
I think you should
level with her.
- Dad, I can't do that.
It would crush her!
- She's a tough little kid.
She just wants to be
treated in the same way
that you treat
your other friends.
That's why she
transferred to your school.
- Eh, maybe you're right.
But what do I do?
- Well, say
something to her, like,
"Kathy, as your best friend,
"there's something I have
to tell you for your own good."
And then remember to be tactful.
- Tactful, huh?
I can handle that.
Kathy, as your best friend,
I have something to tell
you for your own good.
And I'm trying to be
as tactful as I can.
As a hall monitor, you stink!
- Says who?
- Says me, says
Robbie, says Dudley.
- A bunch of losers!
- Says Lisa, Brad,
Jennifer, Julio,
you can stop me anytime.
- I don't care what
those turkeys say.
- Says Karen, says Frank,
says Debbie, says Steven.
- All gobblers.
- Kathy, don't be so defensive.
You're supposed to thank me
when I point out what
a lousy job you're doing.
- Wrong!
Miss Chung says I'm
the best hall monitor
this school's ever had.
- That's because
she's not on your hit list.
- Yes, she is.
This morning, I caught
her humming in the halls.
- You gave Miss Chung a demerit?
- No, I let her off
with a dirty look.
I'm tough, but I'm not crazy.
- Well, you're too strict.
You shouldn't criticize us kids
for every little thing we do.
That's what parents are for.
- Well, now all the kids in
the school look up to me.
- That's 'cause you
brought 'em to their knees.
Kathy, if you were a policeman,
would you throw people in jail
for going just one mile an
hour over the speed limit?
- Yes.
And I'd throw away the key.
I've cleaned up
this crummy school.
Look around.
Do you see any
kids running to class?
- No, they're all outside
trying to get in the windows.
Five demerits if I catch 'em.
- Kathy, you're
starting to get to me!
I made you and I can break you.
Now I'm telling you right now,
you better start treating
my friends like you treat me.
- Is that what you really want?
- Yes.
- Okay, you got it.
I'll treat you all the same.
Here's three
demerits for you too.
- What you talkin' about, Kathy?
- For loitering, mouthing off,
and threatening to
overthrow a hall monitor.
Have fun in the clink, Fink.
- Ow!
Ohh!
- Psst!
- Is it safe?
- Yeah, she's gone.
- How did it go?
Did you straighten her out?
- Well, we had a
frank discussion,
which resulted in a
slight difference of opinion.
- What does that mean?
- She stuck it to me.
She gave me three demerits.
At least I'm one
of you guys now.
- That's better, but
it's not good enough.
- Yeah, who cares if she's
nibbling at your butt too?
You were supposed
to put a muzzle on her.
- So long, sucker!
- Ow!
Ow!
- Alright, I'm going to write
a list of topics on the board.
I want you to pick one
and write an essay on it.
And watch your spelling.
I don't wanna see any mistakes.
- She won't see any
mistakes on mine.
I'mma use invisible ink!
- Did you hear anybody, Robbie?
- I didn't hear anybody.
- Neither did I.
- Aw, come on, guys.
That was a joke.
Enough with the
silent treatment.
We've been friends a long time.
- Tell Arnold I'm
not talking to him.
- I can't.
I'm not talking to him either.
- See what you done, Kathy?
I don't have any friends left.
Boy, I'm gonna get a dog.
At least they're loyal
and they lick your face.
- Excuse me, Miss Chung.
But aren't you
forgetting something?
- Oh, right, the hall
monitor's report.
I almost forgot.
Go ahead, Kathy.
- I'd like to report that no
demerits were handed out today.
What?
- You mean, no one
did anything wrong?
- Only me.
I tried to do a good job,
but I've decided to quit.
I'm turning in my whistle.
- No applause, class, please.
- Kathy, I just asked
you to lighten up, not quit.
- And I'll tell you
something else.
I'm quitting this school too.
I'm going back to my old school,
where I'm appreciated
and respected.
- Kathy, I'm sorry
you feel that way.
Are you sure you don't wanna
take a little time
to think it over?
- No.
I'm sure.
- Wait a minute.
Miss Chung, as class president,
may I say a few words?
- Go ahead, Arnold.
- Uh.
I just wanna tell you a
little somethin' about Kathy.
Now, I know you think
of her as a ruthless tyrant.
But, beneath that
obnoxious, hostile exterior
beats a heart of pure gold.
She's just a little uptight
about being in a new school.
And she feels different,
but she's not different.
She's one of my best
friends, who isn't talking to me.
Anyway.
I love Kathy.
And now that you
understand Kathy a little better,
I'm sure you want her
to stay on as hall monitor.
So let's welcome her back
with a big round of applause!
Miss Chung, make them applaud.
- Look, I don't
need your applause,
and I don't need your sympathy.
And since you're all
so happy to see me quit,
I've got news for you.
I'm not gonna quit!
I'm gonna stay in this dump.
- You hear that?
You hear that?
She's gonna stay in this dump!
Come on, come on, guys!
Have a heart, yeah!
- Hold it, hold it, hold it.
There's more.
I'm also gonna stay
on as hall monitor.
I know, I know, I know.
I've been a little rough.
But I promise I'll lighten up.
- That's great, Kathy.
- I didn't say how much.
- That's all for today, class.
I'll see you tomorrow.
And, Kathy.
Welcome back.
- Thank you, Miss Chung.
- Uh, Kathy?
- Yeah?
- I hope I didn't embarrass you
by saying all those
nice things about you.
- No. I'm strong,
I can take that.
- Uh, Kathy, Robbie and I
sorta wanted to tell you that
we are sorry.
- Yeah, I guess
we tried to get away
with a couple of things.
- Me too.
And from now on, I promise that
we're all gonna behave better.
- That's great.
- I didn't say how much.
♪ Now, the world don't move
to the beat of just one drum,
♪ What might be right for
you, may not be right for some
♪ A man is born,
he's a man of means
♪ Then along come two,
they got nothing but their jeans
♪ But they got,
Diff'rent Strokes
♪ It takes Diff'rent Strokes
♪ It takes Diff'rent
Strokes to move the world
♪ Yes it does
♪ It takes Diff'rent
Strokes to move the world
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to the beat of just one drum
♪ What might be right for
you, may not be right for some
♪ A man is born,
he's a man of means
♪ Then along come two,
they got nothing but their jeans
♪ But they got,
Diff'rent Strokes
♪ It takes Diff'rent Strokes
♪ It takes Diff'rent
Strokes to move the world
♪ Everybody's got
a special kind of story
♪ Everybody finds a way to shine
♪ It don't matter
that you got not a lot
♪ So what
♪ They'll have theirs, you'll
have yours, and I'll have mine
♪ And together we'll be fine
♪ 'Cause it takes Diff'rent
Strokes to move the world
♪ Yes it does
♪ It takes Diff'rent
Strokes to move the world
- Willis, my psychology
class is so fascinating.
Listen to this.
The psychological components
of the human personality
are the ego, the
superego, and the id.
I've learned so
much in this class!
Especially about myself.
- You didn't have to go
through all that trouble.
I could've told you you
were off your rocker.
- I'll get it.
You know, Willis, Sigmund
Freud had a scientific term
for people with diseased
minds like yours.
He'd say, "You're nuts!"
- I beg your pardon?
I'm sorry, Mrs. Gordon.
I didn't mean you.
- Well, this is New York.
You had a 50-50
chance of being right.
- Hi, Mrs. Gordon.
- Oh, hi, Willis.
Ooh, are Kathy
and Arnold here yet?
- No, you beat them back.
- Oh, good.
I brought a cake to
celebrate the occasion.
Her first day in public
school is a big deal for Kathy.
- You know, it
took a lot of guts
for her to leave her
special school, Mrs. Gordon.
Mainstreaming can't be easy.
- Well, it was Arnold
who helped talk her into it.
- You know, it's
refreshing to see
the positive side
of peer pressure,
in the context of
adolescent dynamics.
- You'll have to excuse
Kimberly, Mrs. Gordon.
She's taking a psychology
class this semester,
and she's flipped her id.
- Excuse me.
Try this on your id, Willis.
Well, Kathy's really excited
about going to Arnold's school.
She couldn't wait to
get there this morning.
Oh, neither could Arnold.
He was so excited,
he accidentally
brushed his teeth
with Clearasil.
- Hi, Dorothy.
- Hey hey, Dad.
- Hi, Phil!
Hi, honey.
- Hey, Kathy!
- Well, how'd it go today?
- Rotten. I hate that school.
It's the pits.
- Other than that, she loved it.
- Sweetheart, what happened?
- Well, apparently the kids
weren't very friendly to her.
- Oh.
Oh, I'm so sorry, dear.
We thought you'd love it.
We even planned
a little party for you,
with a chocolate
cake and everything.
- Cake?
Uh, listen, Kathy.
If we can't celebrate,
maybe we can
drown our sorrows in chocolate.
- Mom, I wanna go
back to my old school.
- Listen, Kathy, the first
day is always the roughest.
But tomorrow's gonna
be a whole new day,
and you're gonna go in
there and do just great.
- Willis, go suck a brick.
- Kathy, that's very rude.
- I'm sorry, Willis.
I didn't mean to
take it out on you.
- That's okay, Kathy.
- Kathy, we all understand
why you're a little upset.
- I'm not a little upset.
I'm totally ticked off.
Just 'cause I use a wheelchair,
those kids treated me like dirt.
- Aw, that's nothin'.
They treat everybody like dirt.
Kathy, some of the
kids tried to talk to you,
but you were too
shy to talk to them.
- I'm not shy.
- Then what would you call it
when somebody
asks you a question
and you just go.
- Kathy, maybe you
were a little uncomfortable.
Why don't you try
it again tomorrow
and see how it goes?
- Sure, it's not like you
to give up this easily.
You've always been a fighter.
- Yeah, whatever
happened to the Kathy
who used to burn
rubber in that chair
and strike terror in the hearts
of the pedestrians
on 5th Avenue?
- Forget it.
My reign of terror is over.
- You know.
I was wrong about you.
You're not shy.
You're chicken.
- I am not!
It's just that when I get
around a bunch of strangers,
I get self-conscious
and just stop talking.
- Well, I get like
that too sometimes.
The trick is to never
let your mouth find out.
- You know, Kathy.
All of us get afraid
of things sometimes.
That's part of life.
But what we all have to
do is learn to deal with it.
I'll bet if you go back
to that school tomorrow,
everything will be just fine.
- Oh, I'm sure
it will be, honey.
Now, come on, you can do it.
- I don't know.
- Come on, Kathy.
Do it for me and for yourself.
- Sure, you can.
- I know you can.
- Come on, please?
- Okay, maybe I'll
give it just one more try.
- Hey, that's a girl.
- Aw, good girl.
- Yeah!
- Alright.
- You'll see.
Everybody'll love you if you
just give 'em half a chance.
You've got charm and humor
and you're full of personality.
- Know somethin', Arnold?
You're pretty
full of it yourself.
- That was the
only movie he did.
- Now, remember guys, when
Kathy comes in, be friendly.
Act nice, smile.
You've all seen The Waltons.
Hi!
Here's Kathy now.
We were just talking
about her, weren't we guys?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- I bet you guys
were just talking
about what a big jerk I
made of myself yesterday.
Kathy.
What about that positive
attitude we talked about?
- I thought that was positive.
- Alright, class, settle down.
Before we get
started this morning,
it's our class's turn to
elect a new hall monitor,
someone to watch
for running in the halls
or breaking any other rules.
Any volunteers?
- Who wants to be a
Rat Fink hall monitor?
- Not this Rat Fink.
- Dudley, Robbie, is
one of you volunteering?
- I can't, Miss Chung.
Uh, I hurt my foot.
- Oh?
How did you do that?
- Running in the halls?
- I see.
How 'bout you, Robbie?
- I hurt my foot chasing him.
Is there anyone
who'd like to volunteer?
If not, I'm going to have
to appoint somebody.
Arnold, would you
like to volunteer?
- No, no, no!
But, as class president, I'd
like to make a recommendation.
I would like to suggest someone
who would make
a great hall monitor.
- Alright, who?
- Kathy Gordon.
- Arnold, what are you doing?
- Don't worry.
You'll do great.
- Kathy, this is a
very important job.
We could really use your help.
- Miss Chung, I can't.
- She can't thank you enough
for your vote of confidence.
- Then it's settled.
Kathy Gordon is
our new hall monitor.
- Hey, alright!
- Hey, wait, wait.
I'm not the hall monitor type.
- Oh sure you are!
- No I'm not!
- Man, you look
great in that armband.
This is gonna do
wonders for you.
You'll get to know
everybody, you'll be important.
Don't you want respect?
- Do I look like
Rodney Dangerfield?
- Come on, Kathy, you can do it.
- Okay, if you say so.
According to these rules,
I'm supposed to
hand out demerits
for running in the halls,
fighting and throwing things,
and destruction of property.
- Right.
In other words,
just stop anybody
you see having a good time.
- Uh-Oh, that boy's
running in the hall.
What do I do?
- Stop him and
give him a demerit.
- Stop!
He didn't stop.
- 'Cause he didn't hear you.
You've gotta speak up!
Oh!
Here comes another runner.
Louder, this time.
- Okay.
Excuse me, could I
have a word with you?
Of course, if you're busy.
- Kathy, you've got
to get their attention.
Let 'em know you mean business.
Show some authority!
- Authority, huh?
Okay, I'll try it.
- Yeah.
- Hold it, turkey!
Get back here, bozo.
One demerit. Read it and weep.
- Wow!
You're loud, pushy, obnoxious.
Now that's the Kathy
I know and love.
- Thanks, Arnold.
Look out, PS406!
Iron Side is back.
Hey, ding-dong!
Pick up that piece of paper!
Hey, you over there!
Slow down!
What are you doing
with that basketball?
Hey, wait up, punk!
Yeah, uh-oh is right.
Now, no running in the halls.
And what are you doing
with that basketball?
Gimme that!
Here, no playing
basketball in the halls.
How many times have
I had to tell you that?
Now, I oughta have a
good mind to give you three.
- For tomorrow,
class, let's all read
the first 10 pages on
the American Revolution.
Unless some of you wanna
read the whole chapter.
No thanks.
I wouldn't wanna spoil
the surprise ending.
- Yes, that's a
real cliffhanger.
Uh, before the bell rings,
perhaps Kathy would like
to report on her first
day as hall monitor?
Kathy?
- Thank you, Miss Chung.
I have tried to keep
an eye on everything
that's been going down.
I have a list of the
criminals right here.
Uh, Glenn for
slamming his locker door,
Cindy and Melissa for loitering,
Carl for running,
Ralph for belching.
- Belching?
- Belching. The rule
says no loud noises.
- Kathy, when they
made these rules,
I don't think that's
what they had in mind.
- Well, obviously
they've never heard Ralph
after he's had a chili dog.
- Is that all, Kathy?
- Not quite.
- I nailed Dudley and Robbie
for dribbling a Nerf ball.
- Sounds like you've
had a busy day, Kathy.
- That was just morning recess.
There's more.
- Somebody's
missing from that list.
- Yeah, I wonder why she
didn't call your name, Arnold.
You were Nerf-ing
right along with us.
- Well, maybe she didn't see me.
I'm very quick, you know.
- At lunch, Eddie
for throwing litter,
Delores for blocking
the fire escape,
and Dudley and Robbie
for eating in the hall.
- Arnold, you were
there eating with us,
and she didn't mention
your name again.
- At the afternoon recess,
Jennifer, Sally, and
Wendy for singing,
and Dudley and
Robbie for booing.
- Arnold, you were booing
louder than any of us.
- And throwing fruit.
- Maybe she's going light
on me 'cause I missed.
- Is that all, Kathy?
- For now, but there
are a few other people
that I'm keeping my eye on.
I didn't wanna go
overboard on my first day.
- Speaking of overboard.
I wonder if she'd like to
go sailing this weekend.
- Alright, for those of
you who just got demerits,
I want you to a write
a hundred-word essay
on why it's important
to obey rules.
And, Dudley and Robbie, since
you have three demerits each,
you can stay after school.
I've got a few extra
chores in mind for you.
Class dismissed.
- Not so fast, Mr. Clean.
We wanna have a
little word with you.
- Me?
- Arnold, that isn't fair.
You did everything we did.
- Almost everything.
I didn't get caught.
- Yeah, but how come
you get off and we don't?
- Maybe it's because
I'm the president.
You know, full pardon?
- It's favoritism, and you better
do something about Kathy,
or you're gonna be
minus two friends.
- Yeah.
One, two.
- So much for friendship.
Boy, life sure isn't
like a beer commercial.
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- Kimberly, have you
seen my green jacket?
I can't find it anywhere.
- Really?
You know, my teacher
says when people lose things,
there's always a
psychological reason behind it.
Find the reason, and
you'll find your jacket.
- Thank you, Dr. Joyce Brothers.
- You know, maybe
you really don't
wanna play basketball today.
Maybe, deep down,
you'll afraid you'll get hurt.
Or maybe you're
afraid you'll play badly.
- Or maybe you're sitting on it.
Now that's using
your head, Kimberly.
- Maybe I don't want you
to play basketball today.
Maybe I have a
deep-seated block.
- Hey, Arnold!
- Hi.
- What's the matter, Arnold?
You look upset.
- I got problems.
Boy, do I have problems.
- That's very good, Arnold.
You've recognized
that you have a problem.
The next step is
to talk to somebody
who has a psychological
insight to these things.
- Kimberly's right, Arnold.
Dad, Arnold needs you!
- Willis, we don't
have to run to Dad
every time we've got a problem.
He's not the only intelligent
person in this family.
- Oh, I know.
But the other one's going
out to play basketball.
- Did I hear my name being
bruited about the marketplace?
- Yeah, Dad.
Arnold has a problem.
- Dad, I have to talk
to you about somethin'.
- Does it have
anything to do with
another cost of living
raise and your allowance?
- No.
- Then I'll stick around.
- It's about Kathy.
- Ohhhh.
What about Kathy?
- I got her appointed
hall monitor this morning,
and the power's
gone to her head.
She busted more kids in one day
than Starsky and
Hutch did in four years!
- Oh, come on, Arnold.
You're exaggerating.
- Not by much. The
woman's out of control.
- Well, at least you
got her out of her shell.
- Yeah, now I wish I
could stuff her back in.
Boy, if she doesn't
lighten up soon,
I'm gonna lose my
two best friends.
Dudley and Robbie
aren't even talking to me.
- Well, Arnold, Kathy
is going through
a very difficult period
in her life right now.
Maybe she doesn't even
realize what she's doing.
I think you should
level with her.
- Dad, I can't do that.
It would crush her!
- She's a tough little kid.
She just wants to be
treated in the same way
that you treat
your other friends.
That's why she
transferred to your school.
- Eh, maybe you're right.
But what do I do?
- Well, say
something to her, like,
"Kathy, as your best friend,
"there's something I have
to tell you for your own good."
And then remember to be tactful.
- Tactful, huh?
I can handle that.
Kathy, as your best friend,
I have something to tell
you for your own good.
And I'm trying to be
as tactful as I can.
As a hall monitor, you stink!
- Says who?
- Says me, says
Robbie, says Dudley.
- A bunch of losers!
- Says Lisa, Brad,
Jennifer, Julio,
you can stop me anytime.
- I don't care what
those turkeys say.
- Says Karen, says Frank,
says Debbie, says Steven.
- All gobblers.
- Kathy, don't be so defensive.
You're supposed to thank me
when I point out what
a lousy job you're doing.
- Wrong!
Miss Chung says I'm
the best hall monitor
this school's ever had.
- That's because
she's not on your hit list.
- Yes, she is.
This morning, I caught
her humming in the halls.
- You gave Miss Chung a demerit?
- No, I let her off
with a dirty look.
I'm tough, but I'm not crazy.
- Well, you're too strict.
You shouldn't criticize us kids
for every little thing we do.
That's what parents are for.
- Well, now all the kids in
the school look up to me.
- That's 'cause you
brought 'em to their knees.
Kathy, if you were a policeman,
would you throw people in jail
for going just one mile an
hour over the speed limit?
- Yes.
And I'd throw away the key.
I've cleaned up
this crummy school.
Look around.
Do you see any
kids running to class?
- No, they're all outside
trying to get in the windows.
Five demerits if I catch 'em.
- Kathy, you're
starting to get to me!
I made you and I can break you.
Now I'm telling you right now,
you better start treating
my friends like you treat me.
- Is that what you really want?
- Yes.
- Okay, you got it.
I'll treat you all the same.
Here's three
demerits for you too.
- What you talkin' about, Kathy?
- For loitering, mouthing off,
and threatening to
overthrow a hall monitor.
Have fun in the clink, Fink.
- Ow!
Ohh!
- Psst!
- Is it safe?
- Yeah, she's gone.
- How did it go?
Did you straighten her out?
- Well, we had a
frank discussion,
which resulted in a
slight difference of opinion.
- What does that mean?
- She stuck it to me.
She gave me three demerits.
At least I'm one
of you guys now.
- That's better, but
it's not good enough.
- Yeah, who cares if she's
nibbling at your butt too?
You were supposed
to put a muzzle on her.
- So long, sucker!
- Ow!
Ow!
- Alright, I'm going to write
a list of topics on the board.
I want you to pick one
and write an essay on it.
And watch your spelling.
I don't wanna see any mistakes.
- She won't see any
mistakes on mine.
I'mma use invisible ink!
- Did you hear anybody, Robbie?
- I didn't hear anybody.
- Neither did I.
- Aw, come on, guys.
That was a joke.
Enough with the
silent treatment.
We've been friends a long time.
- Tell Arnold I'm
not talking to him.
- I can't.
I'm not talking to him either.
- See what you done, Kathy?
I don't have any friends left.
Boy, I'm gonna get a dog.
At least they're loyal
and they lick your face.
- Excuse me, Miss Chung.
But aren't you
forgetting something?
- Oh, right, the hall
monitor's report.
I almost forgot.
Go ahead, Kathy.
- I'd like to report that no
demerits were handed out today.
What?
- You mean, no one
did anything wrong?
- Only me.
I tried to do a good job,
but I've decided to quit.
I'm turning in my whistle.
- No applause, class, please.
- Kathy, I just asked
you to lighten up, not quit.
- And I'll tell you
something else.
I'm quitting this school too.
I'm going back to my old school,
where I'm appreciated
and respected.
- Kathy, I'm sorry
you feel that way.
Are you sure you don't wanna
take a little time
to think it over?
- No.
I'm sure.
- Wait a minute.
Miss Chung, as class president,
may I say a few words?
- Go ahead, Arnold.
- Uh.
I just wanna tell you a
little somethin' about Kathy.
Now, I know you think
of her as a ruthless tyrant.
But, beneath that
obnoxious, hostile exterior
beats a heart of pure gold.
She's just a little uptight
about being in a new school.
And she feels different,
but she's not different.
She's one of my best
friends, who isn't talking to me.
Anyway.
I love Kathy.
And now that you
understand Kathy a little better,
I'm sure you want her
to stay on as hall monitor.
So let's welcome her back
with a big round of applause!
Miss Chung, make them applaud.
- Look, I don't
need your applause,
and I don't need your sympathy.
And since you're all
so happy to see me quit,
I've got news for you.
I'm not gonna quit!
I'm gonna stay in this dump.
- You hear that?
You hear that?
She's gonna stay in this dump!
Come on, come on, guys!
Have a heart, yeah!
- Hold it, hold it, hold it.
There's more.
I'm also gonna stay
on as hall monitor.
I know, I know, I know.
I've been a little rough.
But I promise I'll lighten up.
- That's great, Kathy.
- I didn't say how much.
- That's all for today, class.
I'll see you tomorrow.
And, Kathy.
Welcome back.
- Thank you, Miss Chung.
- Uh, Kathy?
- Yeah?
- I hope I didn't embarrass you
by saying all those
nice things about you.
- No. I'm strong,
I can take that.
- Uh, Kathy, Robbie and I
sorta wanted to tell you that
we are sorry.
- Yeah, I guess
we tried to get away
with a couple of things.
- Me too.
And from now on, I promise that
we're all gonna behave better.
- That's great.
- I didn't say how much.
♪ Now, the world don't move
to the beat of just one drum,
♪ What might be right for
you, may not be right for some
♪ A man is born,
he's a man of means
♪ Then along come two,
they got nothing but their jeans
♪ But they got,
Diff'rent Strokes
♪ It takes Diff'rent Strokes
♪ It takes Diff'rent
Strokes to move the world
♪ Yes it does
♪ It takes Diff'rent
Strokes to move the world
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