Diff'rent Strokes (1978–1986): Season 2, Episode 1 - Arnold's Girlfriend - full transcript

♪ Now the world don't move
to the beat of just one drum ♪

♪ What might be right for
you may not be right for some ♪

♪ A man is born He's
a man of means ♪

♪ Then along come two They
got nothin' but their jeans ♪

♪ But they got
diff'rent strokes ♪

♪ It takes diff'rent strokes ♪

♪ It takes diff'rent strokes
to move the world ♪

♪ Everybody's got a
special kind of story ♪

♪ Everybody finds
a way to shine ♪

♪ It don't matter that you
got not a lot, so what ♪

♪ They'll have theirs and you'll
have yours and I'll have mine ♪



♪ And together we'll
be fine 'cause it takes ♪

♪ Diff'rent strokes to move
the world Yes, it does ♪

♪ It takes diff'rent strokes
to move the world ♪♪

Come on, Abraham. What's
wrong with you? Eat something.

I got this in Harlem.
It's goldfish soul food.

It'll make you the
Park Avenue Jaws.

Would you put a lock on your
jaws? I'm trying to do my homework.

But Abraham must be
sick. He won't eat nothin'.

And he ain't got no pep
and look how pale he is.

Come on, Abraham, let's
see you wiggle them fins. Ow!

Arnold, would you stop
fooling around with that fish?

I'm trying to do...

Hey, what's the
matter? Oh, nothin'.

Yeah, that's the third time
you had one of those nothings.



Must be something
wrong with the both of you.

You look as pale as Abraham.

Well, I may look like him, but
at least I ain't draggin' my tail.

Ow. That does it, Arnold.

I'm telling Mr. Drummond.
Maybe you need a doctor.

But I don't need no doctor.

It's just one of those pains that
comes and goes, and it just went.

See, lookee here.

No pain. No strain.
All my moves remain.

Right. And every unit will
have its own solar panels.

This housing development will
get all of its energy from the sun.

Why, that'll be terrific.

Don't worry. The gas
and electric company...

will probably figure out
some way to charge you for it.

Yeah, let's face it. The only
thing left in life that's free is the air.

And who wants to breathe it?

Gee, I'd love to
live here, Daddy.

Tennis courts, swimming pools, a
theater. What more could you want?

The money to build it.

No, I've got 80% of it, but I
still need $15 million more.

Well, why didn't you say so?
Kimberly, go get my purse.

Hey, guys, look at this model of
Daddy's new housing development.

Well, it's not exactly
mine, Kimberly.

Our company has several
partners, but we put the deal together.

Oh, man, this is real
cool, Mr. Drummond.

Oh, yeah.

Finally a housing
development for people my size.

It's so beautiful... trees and grass,
a lake and spacious apartments.

Yeah, and at prices
that people can afford.

What? No rip-off? You
trying to start a trend?

Maybe we'll all move in
here when it's finished.

It'd be a terrific place to live. It's
got everything, even its own school.

There goes the neighborhood.

Come on, Kimberly.
Let's you and me... Ooh!

Let's you and me... Ooh? What's
that, Arnold, some new kind of dance?

Uh, yeah, that's it. A
new dance... the Ooh-ooh.

Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh,
ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh.

Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh,
ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh.

Arnold, are you all right?

- Oh, yeah, I'm fine.
- No, he ain't, Mr. D.

Arnold's got a pain in his side.

He has? Yep. And
he had it on and off.

- Mostly off.
- What kind of pain is it?

Why didn't you tell somebody?
Are they very bad, Arnold?

They're just growin' pains.

- Growin' pains?
- Yeah.

I managed to avoid them for nine
years, but now they're catching up with me.

Mm-hmm.

Tell me, is this where
you get the pains?

Yeah, I guess.

How often do you get
these pains? Not often.

Only when it hurts.

Now, does this
hurt? No, but it tickles.

Ow!

Ooh, I'm gonna take you
and see the doctor, young man.

And I'm gonna take
your temperature.

But I don't need no doctor.

All I need is a week
off from school...

and an unlimited
supply of cookies.

Little brother, you're
gonna to go see the doctor.

Arnold, there's nothing at all to be
afraid of. Yeah. What's the big deal?

The big deal is that big needle they
stick in you when you ain't lookin'.

Arnold, that don't hurt.

Well...

Okay, I'll go if I can
borrow your butt.

Now let's go find your
daddy, okay? Okay.

Hmm. Uh, where
did Alice's father go?

He went to make a
phone call, Dr. Padnick.

Oh. Well, let me know when
he gets back, would you?

Alice, uh, why don't you
sit over here, would you?

Okay. Like to look
at a comic book?

Um, no, I'll just sit and
talk to my friend Penelope.

Oh, fine, fine. You do that.

And it was very nice
meeting you, Alice.

And it was nice to
meet you too, Penelope.

Uh, she's on this side.

Oh, yeah, of course.

Uh, sorry, Penelope.

I'll see you later.

Here we are. That's it.

Come on, Arnold. There's
nothing to be afraid of.

Tell that to my knees and
maybe they'll stop shakin'.

Now you just sit
right over here.

Right there.

Mr. Drummond to see Dr. Padnick.

I'll tell him you're here,
Mr. Drummond. Have a seat, please.

Thank you. Here
you are. Here you are.

Hi. Hi.

If you want to talk to
me, my name is Alice.

But if you don't want to talk to me,
it doesn't matter what my name is.

Arnold, don't be rude.
Introduce yourself.

I'm Arnold. I'm Alice.

Now this is my friend Penelope.

What you talkin' about, Alice?

Well, Penelope
goes everywhere I go.

See what kind of people
you meet at a doctor's office?

Arnold, there's nothing wrong with
having a little friend like Penelope.

Are you trying to tell
me you see her too?

No, no, no, no, no, but it's just
that Penelope is an imaginary friend.

Penelope came to live with me when
my mommy and daddy got divorced.

Oh. Well, it's very nice
to meet you, Penelope.

She just left.

Probably had to
go to the bathroom.

How old are you, Arnold?

Nine. So am I.

You got nice cheeks, Arnold.

Yours ain't bad either.

Uh, I can see Arnold
now, Mr. Drummond.

Good. Doctor, could I see
you alone for a minute first?

- Arnold, we'll be
right back, okay?
- Oh, no hurry.

He can examine
you instead of me.

What's the matter
with you, Arnold?

Oh, I have this
dumb pain in my side.

I've got one in my throat. They're
probably gonna take my tonsils out.

What are they gonna
take out of you?

Nothin'.

I'm leaving this doctor's office
with all my original equipment.

Oh, there's nothing to be
afraid of, Arnold. I'm not.

You mean to tell me you're
not scared of a doctor...

sticking a knife this
big in your mouth...

and ripping your throat
out and throwing it away?

Oh, Arnold, doctors
aren't like that.

Sure they are. Don't
you go to the movies?

Didn't you see that one
about that crazy doctor? Uh-uh.

He gets you on the operating
table, and while you scream,

he cuts you up and sells
parts of you all over town.

Oh, Arnold, doctors don't
do that. They're very nice.

Then how come they wear masks?

That's so you won't know
which ones are crazy.

I'm not afraid of an operation.

Penelope would be with me.

And I know she wouldn't let
anything bad happen to me.

Right here. All right, Arnold.
You wanna come in now?

No, thanks. Hey, hold it.

The doctor's only
gonna examine you.

There's nothing to
be afraid of, Arnold.

Does Dr. Padnick look crazy?

I'm crazy. I'm the
one that pays his bills.

Just trying to lighten the
mood. Yeah, that's good.

If it'll help you, Arnold,
I'll come in with you.

You will? Is that okay? Mm-hmm.

I don't see why not.

Come on, Alice.

Oh, better bring Penelope too.

Hi. Mr. Tanner?

Yeah. Your daughter
is in with Dr. Padnick.

Uh-huh. You know
what's taking so long?

Oh, your daughter was
finished, Mr. Tanner.

She went in with my son to
give him a little moral support.

Oh, I see. Well, thanks, friend.

Yeah, poor kid, she's
supposed to be on vacation.

She came down with a sore throat.
She gets it a couple times a year.

I'm sure it's her tonsils.

Oh, that's too bad.

Yeah. You from
New York, are you?

Uh, don't you wanna
know about my kid?

Oh, I'm sorry. I just got so
much on my mind, you know.

My kid, I just have her
one month out of the year,

so you can imagine
what that's like.

Well, his side hurts.

- Whose side?
- My son.

His side hurts. Oh. Oh,
yeah, yeah. I'm sorry.

I hope it's nothing serious.

What, uh... What
line of work you in?

I'm in cattle. I'm from Omaha.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Omaha.

Well, then you probably are
familiar with the Trade Center there.

Sure. Yeah. Well,
my company built that.

Is that right? Yeah.

Well, that's quite
a setup, you know.

You know, I always wondered
why you picked Omaha.

What was it, the open
spaces, clean air?

Nope, cheap land. Cheap land.

That's honest
anyway. I like that.

I'll tell you something. Next time you
get involved with something like that,

I wouldn't mind getting
into it. You mean that?

Sure. I mean... Well, you know,
man does not live by cattle alone.

Well, we just happen
to have a very interesting

housing project on
the works right now.

Are you looking for any money?

Well, as a matter of
fact, we need 15 million.

Now wait, I'm serious. I
might be interested here.

Well, you know, I oughta come to
the doctor's office a little more often.

Philip Drummond. Yeah,
it's Fred Tanner. How are ya?

Let me give you
my card. Sure. Yeah.

Are you doing anything tonight? If you're
not going to the theater or something,

you might come by my
apartment, we can discuss it.

There's your daddy. Hi, Daddy!

Well, hi, angel.
How you doing, huh?

Fine. Good. Good.

Mr. Drummond,
Arnold was very brave.

He only tried to escape once.

Bet you Alice is gonna be just as
brave when she has her tonsils out.

And I think they're gonna
have to come out, Mr. Tanner.

Yeah, I was afraid of that. Well,
let's do that as soon as possible.

- The sooner the better, right?
- I can arrange it for tomorrow.

Well, great. And listen, I
don't want you to worry at all,

because there's nothing to
be afraid of, right, Doc? Right.

Okay. Oh, I'm not
worried, Daddy.

And if I didn't come to the doctor's, I
would have never have met Arnold.

You oughta see him. He has the
cutest cheeks you've ever seen.

Hey, Fred, why don't
you bring Alice and I too.

We can all sit around
and pinch Arnold's cheeks.

- Everybody does it.
- Is that right?

Can I come, Daddy?
I think so, yes.

Listen, Doctor, thank you
very much. Yes, my pleasure.

And I'll get back to you for
the details, okay? Right. Yes.

And, my friend, I guess I'll
see you tonight. Sure will.

Thank you very much. Okay.
Say bye. Bye. Bye, Doctor.

See you later.

So what is the verdict
on Arnold, Doctor?

Well, I think it could
be his appendix.

Well, that's not very definite.

Well, he's got most of the
symptoms, but he also has his appetite.

He shouldn't have
one if it's his appendix.

You don't know Arnold.

He could break the sound
barrier with a knife and fork.

We'll have the results of
his tests in a few hours.

Very good. Right.

Yes.

Yes. Well, if you
say so, Dr. Padnick.

Yeah. Fine. That's fine.

Right. Thank you, Doctor.

Well, what did he say?

Come on. Sit on my lap, Arnold.

Is it that bad?

Arnold, I'm gonna
level with you.

Dr. Padnick says it would be
better if we had our appendix out.

We?

Can just the white half
of that we have 'em out?

Arnold, Dr. Padnick says
it's a very simple operation.

It'll take away the pain, and you'll
be very happy you had it done.

When does he plan on
making me so happy?

- Tomorrow.
- Tomorrow?

- That's what the doctor said.
- I want a second opinion.

Oh, come on, Arnold.
It's only a little operation.

You won't even feel any pain.

I'm feelin' pain right
now. Hunger pain.

They aren't letting me
eat any dinner tonight.

That's because the
doctor said he doesn't want

you to eat much the
night before the operation.

But even when they put a
guy in front of a firing squad,

they give him something
before they shoot him.

Only a cigarette.

I don't smoke.

I'd ask for a blindfold and
a peanut butter sandwich.

Listen, Arnold.

Man, you're acting
like a scared little kid.

That's 'cause I am
a scared little kid.

Listen. I know how you feel.

And if I could, I'd have
the operation for you.

- You would?
- You got it. Anytime.

You're the best
brother a guy ever had.

So are you.

Now cheer up, 'cause when you
open your eyes from the operation,

I'm gonna be standing
right there holding your hand.

- You will?
- You got it.

Willis, you know the tooth fairy that
brings presents when you lose a tooth?

- Yeah?
- You think there's
an appendix fairy?

I'm pretty sure there is. And what would
you like the appendix fairy to bring you?

Anything you can afford.

Well, if you're
brave and don't cry...

I mean real brave...
You'll get you a present.

Ah! I'll be real brave.

I'll be the bravest
kid in the world.

Then you'll get a
whistle. A whistle?

Yeah, what's wrong
with a whistle?

A cheap present like that for
the bravest kid in the world?

I mean one of those
great big whistles.

One with all the holes in it, that
you can play lots of songs on.

Oh, well, that's different. My
apologies to the appendix fairy.

I'll spread the word, Arnold.
You feel a lot better now?

No.

Well, you'll feel better when
your girlfriend Alice gets here.

Who told you?

Mr. D. He said that
she looks real foxy.

She may look real foxy,
but she ain't no Diana Ross.

What does she look
like? Oh, I don't know.

Blonde hair, blue-eyed.
She comes up to here on me.

She's got a real squeaky
voice like Kimberly's dog.

You mean the one that says,
"Hug me. Kiss me. I love you."

No, the one that says,
"Change me, I'm wet."

Well, I can see you
really dig the little girl,

'cause every time you talk about her,
you get that goofy look on your face.

That ain't from Alice.
You'd look goofy too...

if you were waiting for someone
to play darts on your belly.

Hi. How's our man, Willis?

Well, his side hurts, and
he's starving to death.

But outside of that,
he's feeling terrific.

Yeah, terrific. Whoopee.

Well, I'll bet that the two people that
are waiting out in the hall to see him...

are gonna make him feel better.

Alice and Penelope?
Nope, two other people.

They're just about
to knock on the door.

I said they're just about
to knock on the door.

Hi there. Hi.

Does Arnold Jackson live
here? Of course he does.

This is where they're
having a big party.

Party? What party?

The coming-out
party of his appendix.

Well, here's another one
you may not like, but okay.

How do you stop a
rhinoceros from charging?

I don't know. How do you stop
a rhinoceros from charging?

You take away his credit card.

He's not laughing.

I know. Maybe we should have
tried it out in Philadelphia first.

Arnold isn't in a mood
to laugh, Mrs. Garrett.

It's hard to laugh when
you're waiting for somebody...

to stick a big knife
in your gizzard.

Now, now, Arnold,
it's not like that at all.

You'll never even know
that they touched you.

That's right, and I oughta
know. I had my appendix out.

Did you really have
yours out? Mm-hmm.

I'll get the door, Mrs. Garrett.

You tell Arnold how simple
and painless your operation was.

Go heavy on the painless.

I bet it hurt a lot,
huh, Mrs. Garrett?

Oh, no, honest.
It didn't hurt a bit.

But I never played
the violin again.

- You didn't?
- Mm-mm. Didn't matter.

I never played
the violin before.

That's old.

So was my appendix.

Hi, Phil. How are ya?
Hi, Alice. Come on in.

Say hi to Mr. Drummond.
This is neat.

Oh, this is nice. Beautiful.

Daddy, can I tell
Mr. Drummond that Arnold

and I are gonna be in
the same hospital room,

or do you want to tell him?

Well, I think you just
told him, sweetheart.

Arnold's scared. But don't
worry, I'll take good care of him.

Oh, well, now that's very
comforting. Thank you, Alice.

The doctor said it'd be all
right. What do you think, Phil?

I think it's a terrific
idea. Good. Great. Great.

Oh, is this the little
woman and your daughter?

No, this is the little woman
and the housekeeper.

This is my daughter, Kimberly,
and Mrs. Garrett. Hi. How are you?

Nice to meet you. Mr. Tanner
and his daughter, Alice.

Hi, Alice. Hi.

Alice, why don't you go and
tell Arnold the good news...

that you're both going to be in
the same hospital room together.

Okay. Come on. I'll take ya.

- Okay.
- Boys and girls
in the same room, hmm?

I thought nowadays they
only did that in college.

Can I get you anything, sir? What
would you like, Fred? How about a drink?

Oh, no, no, no. I never drink
when I'm carrying my checkbook.

Some coffee, please,
Mrs. Garrett. Yes, sir.

This is some model
you've got here, Phil.

My gosh, how many
units do you have?

Well, there'll be 300. This is
just one section. Oh. Uh-huh.

You see, these are the
townhouses. Mm-hmm.

These are the regular condos,
and these are the single-family units.

Yeah, that's beautiful. What's
this green stuff? Where?

Right here. That's a piece of
lettuce from my lunch. Sorry.

My goldfish, Abraham, hasn't
been feeling too good either.

Maybe he needs his appendix out.

Or his tonsils out.

Abraham, say ah.

- Ah!
- He said it!

That wasn't the goldfish.

That was just a big blowfish.

Oh, yeah? Take
this for size. Check.

You know, fish can really talk.

Well, Abraham doesn't say much.

He just sends one bubble
up for yes and two for no.

Gosh, I'd love to live
at the bottom of the sea.

I could be a mermaid, and
you could be King Neptune.

Good thinkin'. And I can
have this room all to myself.

You know, I wish I
was King Neptune.

Then I'd know where
to stick my pitchfork.

Come on. Let's go
downstairs and play.

Okay. And you can
meet my daddy. All right.

Well, are you gonna
sit there all night?

Come on, make a move. I
wanna get this game over with.

Okay. How's this for a move?

This breakdown is fine, Phil.

I, uh... I brought a cashier's
check here now for $500,000.

Well, it's just the kind of
check I like... it's signed.

But not endorsed.

Oh, I see. You want your
lawyer to check it out first.

No, no, I'm a lawyer.
As a matter of fact,

that's probably why I had you
checked out before I came over here.

- I had you checked out too.
- Is that right?

Yes. It's nice to start a
relationship on total trust,

isn't it?

All right, I'll tell ya. If you
can just let me know...

where to have my bank
transfer the rest of the 15 million...

Fine. Certainly. No
problem. we're in business.

Daddy, I want to introduce you
to my friend Arnold. Mm-hmm.

Howdy, Mr. Tanner.
Hi, Arnold. Ta...

- This is your son?
- Yeah, that's right.

And here's my
other son Willis. Ah.

Two of 'em, huh?

Now you don't need to worry
about feeling surprised, Mr. Tanner.

Everybody usually is. Willis,
this is Mr. Tanner. Yeah.

How you doin'? How
you doing, Will? Hey.

Fine. Yeah, right.

Yeah. Well, sir...

Come on. Let's go in the
kitchen and have some ice cream.

Okay! Good idea,
but not for you, Arnold.

I'm sorry. All you can
have is a sip of water.

This might as well be prison. At
least you get bread with your water.

You know, Phil, back in Omaha,

families like yours
would be kind of unusual.

Well, we are kind of unusual.

Well, you plan on having any
unusual families in our housing project?

Why do you ask?

Oh, I don't know. What the heck.

Anybody's money is just as
good as anybody else's, I guess.

Here you go.

Anybody's money,
huh? Oh, I get it.

Tell me, how do you feel about one of
those anybodys playing with your daughter?

That's different.

Phil, look.

We're businessmen, right? I
mean, we got a good deal going here.

Yeah, and you shouldn't let personal
feelings get in the way of a good deal.

- You got it, friend.
- I got it.

But I don't want it, friend.

What the hell was that for?

I'm just cleaning up the air in
here before you pollute it anymore.

- What is that supposed to mean?
- You are a bigot, Tanner,

and I do not wanna do
business with you. Uh-huh.

Well, now that it's
all out in the open,

let me say that I'm not real
sure that I like your attitude.

And I know for sure that I don't want
my daughter in the same hospital room...

with your, uh... your kid.

Daddy? Do you want
some of my ice cream?

No, baby, we've got to go.
Put it down. But I'm not finished.

No, honey, we gotta go. Can't
I even say good-bye to Arnold?

No, let's go. Come
on. But... But, no.

But, Daddy...

Daddy! Honey, come on.

What happened, Mr. Drummond?

You can call it a
slight case of bigotry.

There's nothing
slight about bigotry.

Amen.

Hey, Mr. Drummond,
where did Alice go?

Oh, Arnold, her
father had to leave.

She didn't even say good-bye.

Well, he had a little business
problem. It's not her fault.

Oh, well, I'll just see her in
the hospital room tomorrow.

You know, until I met her, I wasn't
too keen on having this operation.

Arnold, look. You're a big boy.

You don't really need
her. Does he, Mrs. Garrett?

Of course not.

Are you kiddin'?

If I hadn't have met her,
I'd be in Alaska right now.

But now, as long as she's there, I'm not
afraid of... of... of... Well, you know.

As long as she's there.

Well, I'm just not gonna tell him till
we get him to the hospital. That's all.

Mm-hmm.

Well, just to play safe, you'd
better alert the authorities in Alaska.

♪ Now the world don't move
to the beat of just one drum ♪

♪ What might be right for
you may not be right for some ♪

♪ A man is born He's
a man of means ♪

♪ Then along come two They
got nothin' but their jeans ♪

♪ But they got
diff'rent strokes ♪

♪ It takes diff'rent strokes ♪

♪ It takes diff'rent strokes to
move the world Yes, it does ♪

♪ It takes diff'rent strokes
to move the world ♪

♪ Mmm ♪♪