Dickinson (2019–…): Season 1, Episode 9 - 'Faith' Is a Fine Invention - full transcript

We must practice the art of dying...

so that when death comes for us,
we are ready.

We must prepare for the hors mori,

the hour of death.

For what you are when you die...

the same will you reappear
in the great day of eternity.

Here on earth,

everything is changing and unsettled.

Beyond the grave, however...

our condition is unchanging.

Strange and mysterious it is, then,



that God so often permits
the shadow of death...

to be thrown down on us,

that we may prepare ourselves
for His coming.

And, speaking of shadows,

I hope you all plan to watch

today's annular eclipse of the sun.

In God's name we pray, amen.

- Amen.
- Amen.

- Where are we gonna watch the eclipse?
- I'll have to watch it from Betty's.

I'm getting my wedding dress
fitted this afternoon.

That's right, that's right.

Now, you remember, tell Betty,
add as much lace as she wants.

Lovely sermon today, Pastor.

Thank you, Mrs. Dickinson.



I always look forward to Sundays.

Kind of you to say.
And today will be particularly special.

Do you plan to observe
the celestial event?

The eclipse, Mom.

Oh, I'll probably be too busy
in the kitchen.

I'll be watching.

Very good.

And I hope you will perceive in it
some evidence of God's wonder.

I'm just hoping I don't go blind.

Where's Lavinia?

God, all that talk about death
made me so horny.

- Joseph.
- Yeah?

I made something for you.

No, no.
Really, I can't accept any more mittens.

No, it's this.

That's you.

You recognized.

Are you kidding?
I'd know those tits anywhere.

I thought you were complimenting
my sketch technique.

No, yeah.
You sketched your tits really well.

Thank you.

I can have this?

Yes. It's for you.

Because you're the only man
I ever want to gaze upon my body.

I'mma do more
than just gaze upon that body, girl.

My God.

My God!

Edward says that a man reached for a gun
on the floor of Congress

to shoot another congressman.

That's awful, ma'am.

"Congressman Churchwell
reached for his gun"

to shoot Representative Cullom,
who lunged at him

"after Churchwell accused him
of defending the Missouri Compromise."

So, a man nearly shot another man
because he wasn't pro-slavery enough.

Honestly, can't anyone in this country
be civil to each other?

Now I have to worry about Edward
and a gunfight.

As if I don't already have enough
on my plate.

Have you seen Ben?

Mr. Newton, you mean?

No. He hasn't been here today.
And I hope he doesn't come.

Mom, why? You don't like him?

I like him just fine.

But I sent him home yesterday
with strict orders to stay in bed.

He had a cough
that was positively wracking.

Never a good sign, a cough like that.

Aye, to be sure.

Me husbands all had terrible coughs
like that before they passed.

How many husbands have you had?

Ah, what difference does it make?
They're all dead now.

Well, Ben is coming here today.
We're going to watch the eclipse.

Really, Emily?

That's not a good idea.

He should not be out in the cold.
And neither should you.

Death is everywhere this winter.

You know Ithamar Conkey's eldest daughter?

She went ice-skating last week
and got consumption.

Now she's buried in the ground.

I know.
And the frost killed all my violets too.

It's tragic.

- Don't be flippant.
- I'm not.

I loved those violets.

He's here. I knew he'd come.

Don't let him in.

Ben, how are you feeling?

I'm fine.

Oh, no. Your cough is getting worse.

No, I...

Ben, you're too sick. We can't go out.

No, we have to go. We can't miss this.

It's okay. There will be another eclipse.

No, there won't. Not for decades.

And I promised you this...

God, Ben.

Let's just stay in.

I'll make you tea.
We can sit by the fire and...

No, Emily.

The only fire that I wanna see

is that ring of fire
around the black shadow of the moon.

And I wanna see it with you.

Imagine...

darkness at noon.

Now, come on.
Let's get your coat. Let's go.

Okay.

Hold this for me.

You must be getting excited.

Oh, I don't know.
Weddings are such a fuss.

Especially a Dickinson wedding.

It's all anyone in town can talk about.

Already? It's still months away.

Yes, well, it better be.

Or else I won't have time
to finish this dress.

Honey, I don't know if I measured wrong
or if you're getting a bit thicker...

around here.

Well, I haven't been holding back
at meals.

I know some women stop eating altogether
before their weddings,

but I can't seem to stop.

I think maybe it's how I handle
the nerves, you know?

Oh, yes.
I got real hungry before my wedding too.

Real hungry.

Maybe I should add more room
around the waist

in case your appetite doesn't subside.

That sounds good.

Don't look.

So, have you been reading
the new book I gave you?

Oh, yes. I'm all about William Blake now.

Which do you like better?

"Songs of Innocence"
or "Songs of Experience"?

You can't even ask that question.
That's two sides of the same coin.

Totally.

I memorized one. "The Garden of Love."

Let's hear it.

"I went to the Garden of Love
And saw what I never had seen

A Chapel was built in the midst
Where I used to play on the green"

"And the gates of this Chapel were shut
And Thou shalt not. writ over the door

So I turned to the Garden of Love
That so many sweet flowers bore"

"And I saw it was filled with graves

And tomb-stones where flowers should be"

"And Priests in black gowns,
were walking their rounds"

"And binding with briars,
my joys and desires"

It's so creepy, right?

I love it.

Hey, Emily.

Hey, George.

Long time no see.

Yeah. I've... changed a lot.

This is Ellen.

Ellen Mandeville Grout.

Of the Princeton Grouts.

Emily Dickinson.

Of... here.

And this is?

Oh, this is my friend Ben.

That doesn't sound good, man.
You should go inside.

We're just out to watch the eclipse.

Us too.

You know you shouldn't stare directly
at the sun, right?

- Of course we know that.
- Okay.

Just wanted to make sure.

We poked some holes in a piece of paper.

Ben made us smoked glass.

Guess you got this covered.

Why didn't you make those for us?

Well, we should keep walking.

It's good to see you, Emily.

So, how long has he been in love with you?

He... wanted to marry me.

Aha. And you said...

No.

Kicked him out of the garden of love?

I never said
he could enter it in the first place.

You know, sometimes...

I wanna ask you.

You wanna ask me what?

To marry me.

No. I mean, not to marry me.

I wanna ask you to not marry me.

Forever.

- I would do that.
- Really?

Should I propose?

I mean, no. Un-propose.

No. No, it should be the reverse.

I should be the one
who un-proposes to you.

Ben Newton, will you anti-marry me?

You mean...

I mean to not have and to not hold
for as long as we both shall...

Not live.

I'd be honored.

Here.

There, we are now...

not husband and wife.

Ben...

I love you.

I love you too, Emily Dickinson.

Look. It's starting.

That was the most beautiful thing
I've ever seen.

Yes, it...

Oh, Ben.

Oh, Ben. Ben, you have to lie down.
Let's go back to my house.

No, I'll just... go home.

No. No, that house is cold and empty.

There's no one there to take care of you.
Come on.

Oh, my God.

Come on. It's okay, it's okay.

That was so incredible.

I'll tell you what's incredible:
this dress I'm making for you.

Mother, we have a minor injury.

- What happened?
- Here we go.

- A damn prickle bush cut me.
- Helen.

- Hello, Sue.
- Hello, Henry.

Watch your mouth.

We were racing and she would have won

if she hadn't fallen
right onto a patch of nettles.

Is that right?

Well, I'll give those nettles
a piece of my mind.

Scratching up my baby girl like that,
oh, no, you don't.

Damn prickle bush.

I said watch your mouth, baby girl.

Now I'm gonna wash it out.

What are you laughing at?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, there it is.

There we are. We are washing it out.

Oh, no, you don't.

Okay.

Not bad.

Oh, God. You're really burning up.

Then why do I... Why do I feel so cold?

Just rest now. Okay? Just rest.

Well, my little Doney girl
Don't you guess

Better be making your wedding dress

Wedding dress, wedding dress

Better be making your wedding dress

Well, it's already made, trimmed in green

Prettiest dress you've ever seen

Ever seen, ever seen

Prettiest dress you've ever seen

Well, she wouldn't say yes
She wouldn't say no

All she did was sit and sew

Sit and sew, sit and sew

Emily...

- Emily...
- Just rest.

You're gonna be a great poet.

You're a true genius.

You're gonna write things...

that the world will never forget.

Ben, I...

I only wish I could live to see it.

Don't say that. You're not...
You're not gonna die.

You're gonna be okay, Ben.

What is he doing in there?

He's resting.

I'm taking care of him.

He shouldn't be here, Emily.

Where is he supposed to go?

Don't bring death into this house.

What difference does it make to you?
You're dead inside already.

What are you doing, Maggie?

Talking to God about this and that.

Look, I know you're Catholic and all,
but you can pray in the house if you want.

Oh, that's okay.
I'll leave the house to you Protestants.

How's he doing?

Do you want to join me?

Praying's not really my thing.

You're some kind of atheist, are you?

Not exactly.

Then what?

When I was 16,

I was sent for a year
to Mount Holyoke Female Seminary.

The headmistress was a devout Christian.

She was determined to see every young girl
find Christ and get born again.

Every week, we'd have a meeting in the
chapel, and she would ask all the girls...

If you can feel God in your hearts...

if you've ever heard Him guiding you...

or felt His overwhelming presence
in a time of need...

If you have, stand up.

At first, I was one of about a dozen girls
who didn't stand up.

But as the weeks went by,
fewer and fewer of us stayed seated

when the headmistress commanded us...

Stand up and declare
that you have found Jesus in your hearts.

By Christmas, only a handful of girls,
including me, didn't stand up.

Those who didn't stand
were said to have no hope.

That was us.

The no-hopers.

It's not that I didn't wanna find God.
I did.

With all my heart, I did.

But I wasn't gonna lie about it.

I wasn't gonna say that I felt something
in my soul unless I really did.

And every week that went by,
I tried to feel it.

I wanted to feel it. But I didn't feel it.

At least, I didn't think I was feeling it.

And it seems like something
you would know if you felt it, right?

One day, in the spring...

a junior at the school,
a girl who had just been born again...

she died.

Of who knows what.

The headmistress
called us all into the chapel.

We stared at that corpse
for what felt like hours.

And then we returned to our seats
and she said...

Will all those who now feel
the presence of God stand.

And every girl stood up.

Every single girl.

Except me.

Emily Dickinson...

do you feel nothing?

And then she looked around
the whole room and said...

Emily Dickinson...

you are hopeless.

And that was the end of my education.

Well, I'd say perhaps that headmistress
had a flea up her arse.

No one is hopeless in God's eyes.

Maybe you should give it another go.

Hey, Maggie...

you can't ever quit this job.

Remember,
you must not only paint the light.

You must also paint the shadows.

Very nice, Jane.

You've really captured
the green hue of the pheasant's neck.

Awesome, Jane.

Great work.

Sorry I'm late.

What's so funny?

Oh, nothing, I'm just trying to paint
this pheasant's bust. You know?

Yeah, its bust. And its ass.

This pheasant is thick.

I don't get it.

Joseph Lyman showed us
the picture you gave him.

- What?
- Your nude self-portrait.

He showed it to everyone.

The whole town's seen it.

The freaking mayor saw it.

Why would he do that?

Why wouldn't he?

Joseph's a creep. We all know that.

The question is,
why would you expose yourself like that?

Yeah, Lavinia.
Haven't you ever heard of modesty?

Students, focus on your paintings, please.

This still life
demands your full attention.

Oh, my God. I love you. You are so stern.

Get back to work.

Ben! Oh, you're awake.

Yes, I'm feeling a bit better.

That's great. How's your throat?

Doesn't hurt as much.

Is that chicken broth?

Yes. I just made it. Are you hungry?

Ravenous.

Oh, great.

Let's get some fresh air in here.

Yes, please.
Some fresh air would do me good.

- There.
- And maybe that fly will go away.

Fly? What fly?

That one.

Where?

Right... there.

You hear it buzzing?

And that one.

And that one too.

They've been driving me crazy.

There are no flies, Ben.

There are no flies in this house.
Believe me, my mother wouldn't hear of it.

Flies are her mortal enemies.
Besides, it's winter.

All the flies are gone.

Oh, this window is stuck.

Get them away from me!

Ben?

Ben, calm down. There are no flies!

They're everywhere!

- Ben, not everywhere.
- They're everywhere.

And calm down, Ben! It's okay.
Let me just get this open.

Okay.

Haven't done this in a while.

I shouldn't be here.

I should be watching over Ben.

You mean, you're not happy to see me?

Why am I in here?

Just relax, Emily. Let's take a ride.

How can I relax when my friend is dying?

You.

You're the one that's doing this to him.

Who, me?

Please, don't take him from me.

- Please.
- I take who I wanna take.

No. No, there has to be a way.

I'll do anything. Anything you want.

Right now, I want you to smile.

And stop ruining our date.

I get it. You're jealous.

- "Jealous"?
- Yeah.

You're jealous. Because I love him.

I love him more than you.
And that's why you wanna kill him.

Don't be ridiculous.

If you want me so bad, you can have me.
Just don't take him.

- What are you doing?
- Giving you what you want.

- Isn't this what you want?
- Get off me! Are you crazy?

You still don't get it, do you?

This isn't about you.

You thought this was a love story
between us.

Some kind of romance. But it's not.

I don't love you. You're not special.

Hey. Stop these horses.

You don't bargain with me,
Emily Dickinson.

I'm everything.

And I'm everywhere.

No one escapes me.
And nobody understands me.

Not even you.

Now, get out.