Diagnosis Murder (1993–2001): Season 7, Episode 14 - Too Many Cooks - full transcript

MR. DUNN, WE CAN'T
THANK YOU ENOUGH.

THE PROCEEDS
FROM THIS CHARITY COOK-OFF

WILL KEEP OUR HOT MEALS PROGRAM
GOING FOR SIX MONTHS.

MY PLEASURE.

YOU KNOW,
THESE PROMOS

ARE GOOD FOR
THE NETWORK.

YEAH. VIEWERS,
THEY LIKE IT

WHEN YOU DO
SOMETHING GOOD
FOR THE COMMUNITY.

YEAH, BUILDS
RATINGS.

CAN WE GET
THIS, PLEASE?

I'VE GOT OTHER
THINGS TO DO,
YOU KNOW.



WHERE'S AMANDA?

SHE SHOULD BE HERE
FOR THE PHOTOGRAPH.

SAY CHEESE.

WE SHOULDN'T HAVE TAKEN

THAT PHOTOGRAPH
WITHOUT HER.

THIS WHOLE THING
WAS HER IDEA.

YOU KNOW, I HOPE SHE'S ALL
RIGHT.

MR. FONTENOT.

FIVE MINUTES.

LET'S GO, LET'S GO.

COME ON. I'VE ONLY
GOT TWO HOURS

TO DO THESE
PROMOS, YOU KNOW.

TIME IS MONEY.

LET'S GO.



MARISSA, IS IT TRUE
WHAT I HEARD?

THAT YOU'RE RAISING
YOUR OWN LAMB?

YOU SHOULD BOTH
COME OUT TO MY FARM

NEXT SLAUGHTERING DAY.

THERE'S NOTHING LIKE
HOMEGROWN ASPARAGUS

WITH TRULY FRESH
LAMB CHOPS.

IT MAKES YOU SICK,
DOESN'T IT?

IT'S NOT
A PRETTY SIGHT.

YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN HER
BEFORE SHE DYED HER HAIR.

WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?

MARISSA PARKHURST.

WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?

LAMBS.

SLAUGHTER DAY.

OH, YES. WELL.

ANYONE WHO
EATS MEAT...

NOW, WHERE IS
DR. SLOAN?

HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE

DOING THAT SPOT
WITH MARISSA.

HE'S LOOKING
FOR DR. BENTLEY.

I'LL GO FIND HIM.

OKAY. GO FIND HIM.

HEY.

YOU KNOW, AMANDA'S
CAR IS OUT IN FRONT

BUT SHE'S
NOWHERE IN SIGHT.

SHE'S PROBABLY
INSIDE BY NOW.

COME ON, THEY'RE
WAITING FOR YOU.

OOH. RENE...

WE HAVE THE PROMOS.

WE HAVE PLENTY OF TIME.

NO, WE DON'T.

I THINK
MAYBE YOU ARE

EMBARRASSED A LITTLE
TO BE SEEN WITH ME.

EMBARRASSED?

I AM NOT EMBARRASSED.

JUST A LITTLE?

YOU'RE THE ONE
WHO SAID THAT WE
SHOULD KEEP THIS

OUR LITTLE SECRET
UNTIL AFTER THE...

UH... OOH...

OOH...

OH... MMM...

HELLO.

WELCOME.

I'M JUST RENDERING
A HALF A CUP OF PANCETTA

FOR THE TRI-TIP BOLOGNESE

WE'LL BE MAKING
FOR THE COOK-OFF.

I'LL JUST, UH,
DEFROST THIS BEEF DEMI-GLACE.

YES... HERE WE GO.

PLEASE, JOIN
US THURSDAY

FOR THE CELEBRITY
CHEF COOK-OFF

BENEFITING
COMMUNITY GENERAL HOSPITAL

RIGHT HERE
ON THE CUISINE CHANNEL.

CUT!

KEITH! HE'S CRYING
ALL OVER THE TRI-TIP.

I'M SORRY, KEITH,
IT'S THESE ONIONS.

CUT.

WAIT, WAIT.

WHOA.

SHUT OFF THE SPRINKLERS.

COVER THE CAMERA.

AMANDA! GET SOME COLD WATER
AND TOWELS AND CALL 911.

I'M ON IT!

CHEMICAL UNIT.

RIGHT OVER HERE.

THERE WAS NOTHING
IN THAT MICROWAVE

TO CAUSE IT TO CATCH FIRE.

YOU THINK MAYBE THIS
WASN'T AN ACCIDENT?

I DON'T KNOW.

IS THERE ANY REASON
TO SUSPECT WHY SOMEONE

MIGHT WANT
TO KILL MARISSA?

WELL, FOLKS, YOU KNOW,
ACCIDENTS DO HAPPEN.

IT DOES SEEM
SUSPICIOUS.

WHAT ABOUT
THE FOOD ASSISTANT?

OH, HE'LL BE FINE.

THEY'RE TAKING HIM
TO COMMUNITY GENERAL.

AND MARISSA PARKHURST?

COME IN.

OH, I'M SORRY. I'LL COME
BACK WHEN YOU'RE DRESSED.

COME IN, COME IN. I'M DRESSED.

I'VE JUST SPOKEN

TO MY LAWYER
ABOUT SUING

THE COMPANY THAT
MADE THAT MICROWAVE.

OBVIOUSLY
THE DESIGN IS FLAWED.

I COULD HAVE BEEN KILLED.

WOULD YOU LOOK AT THIS?

MY FOLLICLES
ARE SCORCHED.

YOU KNOW WHAT, IT MIGHT BE
A GOOD IDEA

TO HAVE YOU LOOKED OVER
AT THE HOSPITAL.

YOU KNOW,
YOU INHALED A LOT OF SMOKE.

I HELD MY BREATH.

THANKS TO YOGA,
I CAN SUSPEND BREATHING

FOR TWO MINUTES, 41 SECONDS

AND MY HAIR FOLLICLES
WILL BE FINE.

I'M USING MY OWN
YOGURT-CHAMOMILE-LANOLIN

HAIR MASK WITH FLAXSEED
FOR EXTRA SHINE.

MISS PARKHURST,
YOU DON'T WANT

TO TAKE ANY CHANCES.

IT'LL ONLY TAKE AN HOUR.

DOCTOR, IF I HAD AN HOUR

I'D PLANT AN HERB GARDEN.

AFTER THIS PROMO

I HAVE A MEETING
TO DISCUSS COLORS

FOR MY LINE OF LINENS,
FOLLOWED BY A COCKTAIL PARTY

TO LAUNCH MY NEW MAGAZINE,
FOLLOWED BY DINNER

WITH THE DESIGNER OF MY POTTERY,
FOLLOWED BY MIDNIGHT AEROBICS.

IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU MIGHT HAVE
A LITTLE PROBLEM WITH INSOMNIA.

BITE YOUR TONGUE.

INSOMNIA IS THE SECRET
OF MY SUCCESS.

TELL KEITH
THAT I HAVE

50 MORE MINUTES

SCHEDULED
FOR THIS PROMO

AND THEN I'M OUT
OF HERE, OKAY?

OKAY.

YOU NEED
ANYTHING ELSE?

NOT NOW, BUT DON'T GO TOO FAR.

WHAT ARE YOU MAKING?

GRATED CARROTS.

I MEAN, WHAT RECIPE
ARE YOU MAKING?

GRATED CARROTS.

THEY'RE MY LUNCH.

I ONLY EAT PURE FOOD,
SIMPLY PREPARED.

CARE FOR ONE?

NO, THANKS,
I'VE BEEN TRYING TO CUT BACK.

SOME EXPLOSION, HUH?

MISS PARKHURST, SHE'S, UH

PRETTY POPULAR WITH THE PEOPLE
AROUND HERE, HUH?

MARISSA?

TO KNOW HER IS TO LOATHE HER.

WELL, YOU DON'T THINK

ANYBODY WOULD TRY
AND DO HER ANY HARM.

HARM HER? NO.

MURDER HER? MAYBE.

KEITH TELL ME
YOU'RE A SURGEON.

YEAH.

I HOPE YOU WON'T THINK
ME PRESUMPTUOUS, BUT...

I NEED YOUR HELP,
DESPERATELY.

WHAT'S WRONG?

MY NUMBERS.

BLOOD PRESSURE?

CHOLESTEROL?

RATINGS.

RATINGS?

I DON'T SEE HOW I CAN BE
OF ANY HELP TO YOU.

I NEED SOMEONE...
SOMEONE LIKE YOU

TO ENDORSE THE
ELLIOT GRAYSON

HEALTHY AND
HAPPY COOKBOOK.

YOU'RE A SURGEON.

YOU'VE SEEN
THE FAT CLOGGING
PEOPLE'S ARTERIES

CHOKING THE VERY
LIFE OUT OF THEM.

I'M A TRAUMA SURGEON.

MY BOOK COULD SAVE THOUSANDS

MAYBE HUNDREDS
OF THOUSANDS OF LIVES.

"SEAWEED SOUFFLE.

TOFU TRIFLE."

AN ENDORSEMENT
FROM YOU WOULD MEAN
GREATER CREDIBILITY

BIGGER SALES,
BETTER TIME SLOT,
RISING RATINGS

MORE VIEWERS AND,
THUS, FEWER DEATHS
FROM CARDIAC ARREST.

YOU KNOW, MR. GRAYSON,
I DO BELIEVE

IN A HEALTHY,
WELL-BALANCED DIET.

I KNEW IT. JUST LOOKING
AT YOU, I COULD TELL.

BUT I HAVE
TO DISCLOSE TO YOU

I ALSO OWN
A BARBECUE RESTAURANT.

WELL, I HOPE YOU CAN LIVE
WITH YOUR CONSCIENCE.

YOU LOOKING FOR ME?!

THEY MOVED THE TRAILERS
FOR THE FIRE TRUCKS.

YOU SHOULD SEE
THE MESS IN THERE.

I KNOW.

I SENT JOSH
TO REPLACE THE FOOD

THAT WAS RUINED
AT MY STATION.

OH, NOW, WHERE WERE WE?

UH... IS THERE
ANY REASON WHY

SOMEONE MIGHT WANT
TO HARM MARISSA PARKHURST?

ONLY IF THEY KNEW HER.

COME HERE.

Camille:
RENE!

IT'S ME AND CONNIE.

JUST A MINUTE.

THIS SHOULDN'T TAKE LONG.

MAYBE YOU COULD
WAIT SOMEWHERE.

IN THE BATHROOM,
PERHAPS?

NOW WHO'S
EMBARRASSED, HUH?

OH, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

CONNIE AND CAMILLE...

THEY ARE SUCH
TERRIBLE GOSSIPS.

LET'S NOT LET
THEM RUIN

THIS WONDERFUL
RELATIONSHIP

BEFORE IT EVEN

GETS STARTED.

Camille:
HEY RENE!

ARE YOU PLAYING HIDE AND SEEK?

UH-UH-UH-UH-UH.

CONNIE...

AND CAMILLE.

IS IT MY IMAGINATION

OR ARE YOU TWO EVEN
MORE BEAUTIFUL

IN CALIFORNIA THAN YOU
EVER WERE BACK HOME?

OH, RENE. NOW, DO
YOU STAY UP NIGHTS

THINKING UP THESE
LITTLE BOUQUETS

OR DO THEY JUST
COME TO YOU

ON THE SPUR
OF THE MOMENT?

OH, YOU FLATTER ME.

WE CAME
TO ASK A FAVOR.

YEAH.

GIVE ME A COOKIE

I PROMISE YOU ANYTHING.

I TOLD YOU
THIS WOULD WORK.

WE, UM... WE WANT
TO HIRE YOUR ASSISTANT.

JOSH?

MM-HMM.

WHY?

OH, NOW, BECAUSE
HE'S SO GOOD.

I KNOW. I WOULD
BE LOST WITHOUT HIM.

WELL, IT'S YOUR FAULT
THAT WE HAVE TO ASK.

MY FAULT?

MM-HMM.

WELL, YES, IF YOU'D
NOT CONVINCED US

TO LEAVE
TENNESSEE...

WE'D STILL BE CATERING
ELKS' PICNICS

INSTEAD OF
HOSTING OUR OWN

NATIONALLY SYNDICATED
TELEVISION SHOW.

AND TRAVELING THE
WORLD TO PROMOTE
OUR NEW COOKBOOKS.

WITH NO TIME AT ALL
TO DO ALL THE GOOD THINGS

THAT A GOOD PERSONAL
ASSISTANT WOULD TAKE CARE OF.

BUT IF YOU DON'T
WANT HIM TO LEAVE...

I WOULD NEVER WANT
TO STAND IN HIS WAY.

MAKE HIM AN OFFER.

IF HE WANTS TO GO,
THEN BLESS HIM.

Josh:
RENE, THEY'RE READY.

DO YOU KNOW WHERE
CONNIE AND CAMILLE ARE?

OH, WE'RE COMING.

WE'LL GO AND GIVE WHOEVER YOU
GOT HIDING IN THE BATHROOM

TIME TO COME OUT.

BYE-BYE!

C'EST LA VIE.

NOW... WHERE WERE WE?

MAKING PROMOS.

Dunn:
ALL RIGHT, PEOPLE.

NOW, WE'RE RUNNING
A LITTLE LATE.

SO, UH, WE'LL START
WITH YOU, MARISSA.

I THINK I'M UP NEXT.

WELL, LET'S, UH,
LET'S USE DR. TRAVIS

JUST FOR A
CHANGE OF PACE.

SURE, OKAY, I'M READY.

YOU GO AROUND
WITH MARISSA, PLEASE.

ACTION.

HELLO, I'M DR. TRAVIS

INVITING YOU
TO THE CUISINE CHANNEL'S

CELEBRITY CHEF COOK-OFF,
FEATURING, AMONG OTHERS

THE AMAZING
MARISSA PARKHURST.

PERFECT FOR
ENTERTAINING...
CHICKEN MARISSA...

MADE FROM MY OWN
FREE-RANGE CHICKEN

AND VEGETABLES STRAIGHT
FROM MY GARDEN

PRESENTED IN MY LOVELY
POTTERY CASSEROLE

AVAILABLE THROUGH
MY CATALOG

ALONG WITH MY LOVELY
HAND-LOOMED POT HOLDERS.

YOU HAVE YOUR OWN LOOM?

AND A CHURN
AND A SMOKEHOUSE
AND A WINE PRESS.

YOU HAVE A
PROBLEM WITH THAT?

WHEN DO YOU RELAX?

I'M RELAXED RIGHT NOW.

CUT.

I NEED ANOTHER TAKE.
HE WRECKED IT.

I KNOW, I KNOW.

Mark:
HELLO, EVERYBODY.

I'M DR. MARK SLOAN, INVITING YOU

TO THE CUISINE CHANNEL'S
CELEBRITY CHEF COOK-OFF

FEATURING THOSE
TWO SASSY SISTERS

CONNIE AND CAMILLE
CARMICHAEL.

SO, WHAT'S COOKING
TODAY, LADIES?

WELL, CORNBREAD...

AND... COUNTRY-FRIED
RABBIT WITH PORK RINDS
AND SASSAFRAS ROOT.

MMM...

IT'S A COUNTRY BOY'S
IDEA OF HEAVEN.

HELLO, I'M DR. AMANDA BENTLEY,
INVITING YOU

TO THE CUISINE CHANNEL'S
CELEBRITY CHEF COOK-OFF

WITH CHEF ELLIOT GRAYSON.

COUSCOUS WITH CURRANTS
AND CRUDITES.

EAT THIS IF YOU WANT
TO LIVE TILL TUESDAY.

AND CUT.

INSPIRING.

YOU ARE VERY GOOD,
DR. BENTLEY.

THE CAMERA LOVES YOU.

WHY DON'T WE USE YOU
FOR RENE AS WELL?

YEAH, YOU WANT
TO TAKE THIS, BOB?

I'VE GOT SOMETHING
I'VE GOT TO TAKE CARE OF.

OH, THANK YOU.

CILANTRO.

I FORGOT IT.

JOSH.

I'M SORRY.

I REMEMBERED
EVERYTHING ELSE.

OKAY, NO PROBLEM.

I KNOW SOMETHING
I CAN DO

THAT INVOLVES
JUST A LITTLE BIT

OF MY OWN SPECIAL "MAJIK."

AMANDA, PLEASE.

MY OWN SECRET FORMULA.

KA-POW.

GET READY.

THIS IS TO DIE FOR.

OH, MY GOD.

YOU'RE FIRING ME.

NO. WHY WOULD I FIRE YOU?

MY RATINGS ARE DOWN.

YOU HATE ME.

NO, YOUR RATINGS ARE FINE
FOR THEIR TIME SLOT.

MOST PEOPLE DON'T COOK
AT 3:00 A.M., YOU KNOW?

AND I DON'T HATE YOU.

YOU BROUGHT ME A GIFT BASKET.

WHAT ELSE COULD IT MEAN?

ELLIOT, I AM NOT FIRING YOU.

Amanda:
Rene?

OH, MY GOD.

Rene!

Eliot:
CHEAP PLAY FOR ATTENTION.

Amanda:
Rene!

Oh, Rene!

Oh, my God!

Dunn:
DR. SLOAN?

I'M SORRY.

NO!

NO, HE CAN'T BE DEAD.

YOU HAVE TO KEEP TRYING.

YOU KEEP BREATHING, RENE.

AMANDA, HONEY.

AMANDA.

NO, NO.

OH, RENE, RENE.

WHAT HAPPENED?

WELL, IT'LL TAKE
AN AUTOPSY TO BE CERTAIN

BUT ALL THE SIGNS POINT
TO ANAPHYLACTIC SHOCK.

THE VICTIM'S NAME
WAS RENE FONTENOT.

HE WAS FLUSHED.

HIS WINDPIPE
SWELLED SHUT.

I'M PRETTY SURE THERE'S
FLUID IN THE LUNGS.

ANAPHYLACTIC SHOCK.

THAT'D BE CAUSED
BY A FOOD ALLERGY?

YEAH. HE WAS ALLERGIC
TO SHELLFISH.

MARK IS TALKING TO
THE CORONER RIGHT NOW.

BUT HE WAS VERY CAREFUL.

I MEAN,
HE NEVER COOKED SHELLFISH.

NEVER EVEN TOUCHED IT.

HE WAS COOKING CHICKEN.

HE NEVER WENT
NEAR A PRODUCT

OR MEDICATION
WITH IODINE.

HE HAD, UH,
ONE CLOSE CALL

FIVE YEARS AGO
WHEN HE ATE SOME

SEA BASS THAT
HAD EATEN SHRIMP

AND IT ALMOST
KILLED HIM.

HE WAS PARANOID
ABOUT IODINE.

THAT'S NOT ALL.

JUST MOMENTS BEFORE HE DIED

THE MICROWAVE
ON THE SET EXPLODED.

ALL RIGHT, FOLKS.

NOBODY LEAVES THIS SET
WITHOUT MY PERMISSION.

I JUST WANT TO SAY

THAT IF RENE
WAS INDEED MURDERED

I'LL DO EVERYTHING
IN MY POWER

TO HELP FIND THE KILLER.

YOU AND RENE FONTENOT
WERE CLOSE?

OH, YEAH. HE HAD THE HIGHEST
RATINGS ON MY NETWORK, YEAH.

AMANDA, THE
CORONER AGREES

IT WAS MOST LIKELY
ANAPHYLACTIC SHOCK.

YOU AND, UH, RENE...?

WE WERE FRIENDS.

IT COULD HAVE BEEN A SHORT.

OR SOMEBODY COULD HAVE
DELIBERATELY SABOTAGED IT.

YEAH.

JESS, YOU'RE PRETTY GOOD
WITH THESE THINGS.

YOU THINK YOU
CAN TAKE A LOOK AT IT

SEE IF YOU CAN FIGURE OUT
WHAT MADE IT EXPLODE?

YEAH. I MEAN, IT'S
NOT EXACTLY BRAIN SURGERY.

ALL RIGHT.

WEAR YOUR GLOVES.

ALTHOUGH, I KNOW
HOW TO DO BRAIN SURGERY.

GOAT CHEESE?!

YOU PUT GOAT CHEESE
ON MY BEAUTIFUL CROUTONS?!

I TOLD YOU TO USE CAMEMBERT,
YOU CRETIN.

YOU WILL NEVER WORK
IN THIS TOWN AGAIN.

IF I EVER HIRE ANOTHER CHEF
WHO WASN'T TRAINED IN PARIS

JUST SHOOT ME.

UH, THAT
WOULD BE ILLEGAL, MA'AM

AND I HOPE YOU
DON'T MIND ME SAYING SO

BUT YOU SEEM
TO HAVE QUITE A TEMPER.

I'M SORRY.
I DIDN'T CATCH YOUR NAME.

LIEUTENANT STEVE SLOAN.

IT'S A SLAPDASH WORLD,
LIEUTENANT, FULL OF LOWLIFES

WHO WASH THEIR COLORS
IN WITH THEIR WHITES.

I HAVE STANDARDS, AND
DAMNED LITTLE TOLERANCE

FOR PEOPLE WHO DON'T.

THAT'S WHY I'M SO SUCCESSFUL.

I'M STERN, BUT I'M FAIR.

I ELEVATE MY AUDIENCE.

BUT YOU'RE NOT HERE TO TALK
ABOUT MY AUDIENCE, ARE YOU?

YOU AND RENE FONTENOT...

YOU, UH, GOT
ALONG ALL RIGHT?

WE MET WHEN WE WERE STUDENTS
AT THE CULINARY INSTITUTE

AND WE STAYED
CLOSE FRIENDS
EVER SINCE.

THEN YOU SHOULD KNOW
IF SOMEONE

WANTED TO
KILL HIM.

I KNOW YOU WANT US
TO FIND RENE'S KILLER.

OF COURSE.

YOU MIGHT WANT TO TALK
TO HIS EX-WIFE.

THEIR BREAKUP
WAS PRETTY VOLATILE.

AND WHERE WOULD I FIND HER?

WHY, RIGHT HERE
AT THE STUDIO, OF COURSE.

HE USED TO BE MARRIED
TO CAMILLE CARMICHAEL.

ONE DAY IN THE STUDIO,
I OVERHEAD CAMILLE
AND RENE ARGUING.

THEY DIDN'T SEE ME.

EVERYBODY KNEW
THAT RENE CHEATED ON HER

EVERYBODY BUT POOR CAMILLE.

APPARENTLY, ONE DAY,
THE INFIDELITY

BECAME SO FLAGRANT

THAT EVEN SHE
COULDN'T IGNORE IT ANY LONGER.

WHEN I HEARD THEM

SHE WAS LETTING HIM HAVE IT
WITH BOTH BARRELS.

SHE ACCUSED HIM OF STEALING
SOME SANDWICH RECIPE

FROM HER AND HER SISTER.

SHE SLAPPED HIM

AND SHE THREW A RING AT HIM AND
STALKED OFF.

HOW LONG AGO WAS THAT?

ABOUT A YEAR AGO.

THAT'S A LIE.

YOU THINK THAT I DIDN'T KNOW

FROM THE BEGINNING
OF MY MARRIAGE

THAT HE WAS CHEATING ON ME?

WE'RE JUST TRYING
TO GET AN IDEA OF
WHO MIGHT HAVE HAD

A MOTIVE
FOR KILLING MR. FONTENOT.

ARE YOU'RE SAYING
MISS PARKHURST'S
STORY ISN'T ACCURATE?

SHE MUST THINK I AM
SOME SIMPLE LITTLE COUNTRY GIRL

WITH GRITS FOR BRAINS.

SO YOU KNEW
HE HAD AN AFFAIR?

IT MUST HAVE MADE
YOU ANGRY.

OF COURSE,
IT MADE IT ANGRY AT FIRST

BUT, OH, HECK,
WHO CAN STAY ANGRY

AT A FORCE OF NATURE,
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

LET ME TELL YOU.

RENE WAS AS COMPLETELY
IRRESISTIBLE TO WOMEN

AS A 50%-OFF SHOE SALE.

LOOK, MY SISTER AND I,
WE GREW UP WITH RENE.

I KNEW HE COULD NEVER BE
FAITHFUL, BUT...

UH...

I ADMIT IT.

I LOVED HIM ANYWAY.

WHAT ABOUT THE ARGUMENT
THAT MARISSA OVERHEARD?

IT'S TRUE.

I FINALLY HAD
ALL I COULD TAKE FROM RENE.

AS MUCH AS I LOVED HIM

I NEEDED
A MORE STABLE RELATIONSHIP

BUT I TRULY WAS MORE SAD
THAN ANGRY, AND I WAS DETERMINED

THAT WE WOULD
REMAIN FRIENDS.

SO THERE WERE

NO HARSH WORDS WHATSOEVER?

THAT'S KIND OF HARD TO BELIEVE.

WELL, I WAS ANNOYED AT HIM

FOR TAKING MY RECIPE
FOR MUFFELETTA SANDWICH.

MUFFELETTA SANDWICH?

I HAVEN'T HAD
ONE OF THOSE IN YEARS.

WHAT IS
MUFFELETTA?

OH, IT'S LIKE TAKING
NEW ORLEANS

AND DISTILLING IT
INTO ONE SANDWICH.

THAT'S MUFFELETTA.

Candice:
CONNIE AND I INVENTED
A SPECIAL REMOULADE

FOR OUR MUFFELETTA

AND WHEN I SAW THE GALLEYS
OF RENE'S NEW COOKBOOK

WELL, THERE WAS THE RECIPE

FOR THE REMOULLADE,
OUR REMOULLADE.

NOW, WHEN I CONFRONTED RENE

HE IMMEDIATELY
APOLOGIZED

AND WENT STRAIGHT
TO THE PHONE

TO CALL HIS EDITOR

TO GIVE US CREDIT
IN HIS BOOK.

IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME,
CHECK OUT CHAPTER SEVEN...

"SANDWICHES
FROM AROUND THE WORLD"...

PAGE 94,
FOURTH PARAGRAPH, THIRD LINE.

SO YOU DIDN'T SLAP
RENE AND STALK

OFF THE STAGE?

WE HUGGED.

WE HUGGED
AND WE KISSED GOOD-BYE.

ONE OTHER THING, YOU KNOW,
WE WEREN'T ON THE STAGE.

WE WERE IN RENE'S TRAILER.

AND IF MARISSA WAS THERE,
I'D LIKE TO KNOW

WHERE THE HELL
SHE WAS HIDING.

Mark:
STEVE?

GOT A MINUTE?

THE INSULATION
HAD BEEN REPLACED

WITH A FLAMMABLE
MATERIAL, CAUSING IT

TO CATCH FIRE WHEN
SHE STARTED IT UP.

SO, THEN, IT
WAS PLANNED.

I'M NOT SURE WHAT THAT
HAS TO DO WITH RENE'S DEATH.

I THINK MAYBE
MARISSA PARKHURST

MIGHT BE ABLE
TO TELL US

A LITTLE BIT
ABOUT THAT.

MISS PARKHURST?

I DIDN'T SEE
HER ON THE SET.

I TOLD HER
NOT TO LEAVE.

HAVE YOU SEEN
MARISSA PARKHURST?

NO, SHE HASN'T
COME THIS WAY.

WELL, WE BETTER SPLIT UP
AND FIND HER.

Amanda:
LET IT GO!

Marissa:
NO! IT'S NOT YOURS!

I DON'T CARE. IT'S GOING TO
BE MINE.

NO. YOU CAN'T
HAVE IT!

AMANDA?
AMANDA...

THOSE ARE PRIVATE.

OH, THE ELUSIVE
MISS PARKHURST.

WHAT'S THAT?

IT'S DISGUSTING.

IT'S NOT
DISGUSTING.

IT'S JUST REALLY
ISN'T ANYBODY'S BUSINESS.

Steve:
PICTURES OF MARISSA.

PICTURES OF LOTS OF WOMEN.

APPARENTLY, THEY HAVE
NOTHING TO HIDE.

I'M SO EMBARRASSED.

HMM, AND LIMBER.

OH, PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE.

DON'T GO.

I DIDN'T MEAN IT.

WERE YOU AND RENE
IN LOVE?

I GUESS SO.

HE SAID HE WAS.

I WAS BEGINNING TO.

YOU DIDN'T TELL ANYBODY.

OH, MARK, I WANTED
TO BE SURE.

I HAVE C.J. TO THINK
OF, AND NOW DION.

I CAN'T JUST GO OUT
THERE AND DO WHATEVER

AND IF I'M UNSURE

THEN IT'S UNFAIR
TO THE CHILDREN

AND NOW THOSE
AWFUL PHOTOGRAPHS.

YOU DIDN'T...?

NO.

NO, OF COURSE NOT.

BUT, MARK, ALL
THOSE WOMEN...

I HAD NO IDEA.

I FEEL SO FOOLISH.

YOU SHOULD GO HOME.

NO, MARK, I WANT
TO STAY HERE.

BUT THERE'S NO TELLING

WHAT WE MIGHT FIND OUT
ABOUT RENE FONTENOT

AND WHY ANYBODY
WOULD WANT TO KILL HIM.

WHATEVER IT IS,
YOU'RE NOT GOING TO LIKE IT.

MARK, I'VE ALREADY
SEEN THE WORST.

BESIDES, WE STILL HAVE
THE PROMOS TO DO

AND THERE'S SOMETHING...

HONEY, YOU'RE
EMOTIONALLY INVOLVED.

NOW, YOU SHOULD GO HOME.
I'M SORRY.

I'LL TAKE YOU
TO YOUR CAR.

OH, MARK.

Steve:
17 WOMEN

ALL POSING WITH BIG GRINS
AND NOT MUCH ELSE.

HOW DID HE GET AWAY WITH THIS?

RENE WAS IRRESISTIBLE.

WOMEN WOULD DO
WHATEVER HE ASKED.

I DON'T KNOW
A SINGLE GUY

THAT COULD GET AWAY WITH THIS.

WHAT DID HE HAVE?

I CAN'T DESCRIBE IT, LIEUTENANT.

THERE'S NO FORMULA.

WOMEN KNOW IT WHEN THEY SEE IT.

IT'S LIKE...

EVERY WOMAN HE MET HAD P.M.S.

AND RENE WAS CHOCOLATE.

HE CONNED ALL THESE WOMEN.

IT WASN'T A CON.

IT WAS OUR PLEASURE,
DETECTIVE... BELIEVE ME.

WHAT I FIND
HARD TO BELIEVE

IS THAT NONE OF
YOU WERE JEALOUS.

I SUPPOSE I WAS,
AT LEAST A LITTLE BIT.

I ENVIED CAMILLE.

OBVIOUSLY, THEY COULD BE
TOGETHER WHENEVER THEY WANTED.

WE HAD TO HIDE.

I HATED IT.

SNEAKING IN AND OUT
OF HIS TRAILER

LIKE SOME CAT BURGLAR IN HEAT.

CAMILLE TOLD US
THAT SHE BROKE UP

WITH RENE IN HIS TRAILER,
NOT ON STAGE.

YOU WERE THERE,
WEREN'T YOU?

IN THE BATHROOM.

YOU CAN'T TELL KEITH ABOUT THIS.

HE DOESN'T KNOW.

WHY WOULD YOUR PRODUCER CARE

IF YOU AND RENE
WERE ROMANCING EACH OTHER?

HE'S...

WELL, YOU KNOW...

HE'S MY HUSBAND.

HAVE YOU SEEN
MY DAD?

NO, NO, LISTEN...

PLEASE, PLEASE TELL ME

THAT YOU'RE GOING TO LET
MY PEOPLE GO HOME.

THEY'RE GETTING EDGY AS HOSTAGES
AND IT'S DRIVING ME CRAZY.

I'M SORRY, NOT YET

BUT, UH, THERE'S
A QUESTION I
NEED TO ASK YOU.

WHAT?

IT MAY NOT BE
EASY TO ANSWER.

OH, NO. DETECTIVE,
I AM A PRODUCER.

THERE ARE NO
HARD QUESTIONS.

EXCEPT, MAYBE, "WHY ARE
YOUR RATINGS GOING DOWN?"

OKAY, UH,
DID YOU KNOW

YOUR WIFE HAD AN
AFFAIR WITH RENE?

WELL, I KNEW THIS
WOULD COME OUT.

YEAH, I KNEW THAT, YEAH.

I THINK EVERY WOMAN
THAT RENE EVER MET

HE SLEPT WITH, BUT...
OH, GOD, YOU DON'T THINK

I HAD ANYTHING TO DO
WITH HIS DEATH?

JEALOUSY IS A
PRETTY POWERFUL
MOTIVE FOR MURDER

UNLESS YOU'RE SAYING,
YOU JUST DIDN'T CARE.

CARE? OF COURSE I CARED.

I CARED LIKE YOU CARE

WHEN A THUNDERSTORM
RAINS OUT YOUR GOLF GAME.

YOU REALLY WISHED
IT HADN'T HAPPENED

BUT THERE'S NOTHING
YOU CAN DO ABOUT THAT.

YOUR WIFE IS HARDLY
A GOLF GAME

AND RENE WASN'T RAIN.

DETECTIVE, I AM A LIMITED MAN.

I HAVE TWO THINGS
IN MY LIFE THAT I ENJOY:

MY BEAUTIFUL
AND ACCOMPLISHED WIFE

AND MY OLDEST FRIEND, RENE.

NOW, IF I'D HAVE LOST MY TEMPER
ABOUT THEIR HAVING HAD AN AFFAIR

THEN I WOULD HAVE LOST THEM BOTH

AND HOW WOULD THAT HAVE SERVED
MY LIFE BETTER?

STILL, IN THE HEAT
OF THE MOMENT...

OH, THERE'S NO HEAT, I TOLD YOU.

HE WAS MY OLDEST FRIEND.

WE STARTED
BUSINESS TOGETHER.

WE WERE YOUNGER THEN.

YEAH, WE WORKED TOGETHER

IN THIS HOLE-IN-THE-WALL DIVE

IN AN ALLEY IN NEW ORLEANS.

CLIENTELE WASN'T VERY REFINED.

IF IT WASN'T BURGERS AND BEANS,
THEY WOULDN'T EAT IT.

YEAH, WE HAD A GREAT TIME.

WE EVEN ROOMED TOGETHER.

YEAH, AND WE PLANNED
OUR GLORIOUS...

OUR GLORIOUS FUTURES
OVER BEER-AND-GRITS BREAKFASTS.

AH... HAPPY TIMES.

THOSE WERE THE DAYS, MY FRIEND.

THOSE WHERE THE DAYS.

WELL... RENE'S DEAD

AND-AND I WANT YOU
TO FIND HIS KILLER

BUT THAT DOESN'T
GIVE YOU THE RIGHT

TO EXPOSE MY PRIVATE LIFE.

WE'RE NOT EXPOSING ANYTHING,
MS. CARMICHAEL.

WE'RE INVESTIGATING
THE MURDER.

ANYTHING YOU SAY
WILL BE BETWEEN US.

OKAY, YES.

I HAD AN AFFAIR WITH RENE.

WELL, SEVERAL OF THEM, ACTUALLY.

IT WAS SORT
OF OFF AND ON.

RENE WASN'T REALLY
A STEADY EDDIE.

YOU KEPT THIS AFFAIR A SECRET?

WELL, ABSOLUTELY.

NOW, ALL THIS HAPPENED BEFORE
CAMILLE AND RENE WERE MARRIED

AND THEN AGAIN A LITTLE AFTER
THEY WERE SEPARATED

BUT STILL, IF SHE KNEW,
SHE WOULD PROBABLY

THROW THE HISSY
FIT OF ALL TIME.

AND YOU WERE AFRAID
SHE'D BE SO MAD

THAT SHE MIGHT
DO SOMETHING STUPID

LIKE KILL YOUR RENE.

OH, NO. SHE'S MY SISTER.

I DIDN'T WANT TO HURT HER.

I WAS AN IDIOT.

FOR BEING WITH RENE

OR FOR LETTING HIM
TAKE YOUR PICTURE?

OH, NO, NOBODY EVER
REGRETTED BEING WITH RENE
EVER

NO MATTER HOW IT ENDED.

SO, I SUPPOSE THIS OFFICIALLY

MAKES ME A
SUSPECT, HUH?

NO MORE OR LESS
THAN ANYBODY ELSE IN THIS ALBUM.

YOU KNOW, YOUR SISTER SAID

THAT YOU AND SHE
WENT TO SCHOOL WITH RENE.

OH, YES.

SO WHERE DID THAT
FRENCH ACCENT COME FROM?

PRETENSION.

YOU SEE, TO BEGIN WITH

HIS NAME WAS
NOT RENE FONTENOT.

NO, IT WAS DON EDDIE WOLFSTEIN.

AND HE IS FROM MEMPHIS,
NOT NEW ORLEANS.

SEE, HIS PARENTS BOTH WORKED

SO HE WAS ALWAYS OVER
TO OUR HOUSE

AND EVEN THEN, HE WAS SUCH
A CUTE LITTLE SCAMP.

I MEAN, YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE
THE THINGS HE GOT AWAY WITH.

SO YOU MUST HAVE KNOWN HIM

WHEN, UH, HE AND KEITH DUNN WERE
PARTNERS IN A RESTAURANT.

PARTNERS? WELL, WHO TOLD YOU
THEY WERE PARTNERS?

NO, NO... KEITH WAS THE BOSS

AND HE TREATED RENE
LIKE A SLAVE.

I MEAN, MY LORD, HE MADE RENE
DO ALL THE DIRTY WORK

AND HE PAID HIM
NEXT TO NOTHING

BUT RENE GOT EVEN.

Steve:
HOW'D HE DO THAT?

WELL, AFTER KEITH'S RESTAURANT
BURNED DOWN

HE STARTED THE CUISINE CHANNEL
ON A SHOESTRING

BUT, SEE, BY THAT TIME

DON EDDIE WOLFSTEIN
HAD BECOME RENE FONTENOT

WITH A REPUTATION
FOR BEING A HOT CAJUN COOK.

SO WHEN KEITH
OFFERED HIM A
SHOW ON THE CHANNEL

RENE JUST SMILED AND MADE HIM
PAY THROUGH THE NOSE.

STEVE, COME QUICK.

WE FOUND SOMETHING.

AMANDA, WHAT THE HELL
ARE YOU DOING HERE?

I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU
TO GO HOME.

YOU DID,
THEN I REMEMBERED SOMETHING

THAT MIGHT BE A CLUE.

MARK ASKED ME, "WHAT IS IT?"

AND I SAID,
"I'M NOT GOING TO TELL YOU

"UNLESS YOU LET ME STAY

AND HELP FIND
RENE'S KILLER."

LOOK, ALL RIGHT,
I GET THE PICTURE.

EVERYBODY, YOU CAN
GO BACK IN THE STAGE

AND JUST LET US HANDLE THIS.

WE'RE ALL
INVOLVED IN THIS.

WELL, THAT'S RIGHT.

WE HAVE A
RIGHT TO KNOW.

IF YOU'VE DISCOVERED
SOMETHING

WE OUGHT TO
KNOW WHAT IT IS.

WELL, I WASN'T EXPECTING
A CROWD.

WELL, YOU
SURE GOT ONE.

EVERYBODY,
JUST WAIT OUT HERE.

OKAY, LET'S GO.

WELL?

APPARENTLY,
WHEN AMANDA

WAS WAITING HERE
IN THE BATHROOM

SHE NOTICED
THIS WOODEN PANEL

WAS PULLED LOOSE
FROM THE BASE.

Amanda:
RENE WAS A
FASTIDIOUS MAN.

FASTIDIOUS.

HE NEVER WOULD HAVE ACCEPTED

SHODDY FINISH WORK.

WE CAME BACK
TO HAVE A LOOK.

HAVE YOU TOUCHED THIS?

I HAVEN'T EVEN
BREATHED ON IT.

NO, AS SOON
AS WE SAW IT

I CAME AND GOT YOU.

WHAT IS IT?

WHAT'S INSIDE?

Connie:
OH, MY GOD.

WHERE'D RENE GET
THAT KIND OF MONEY?

ARE YOU DENSE?

HE WAS OBVIOUSLY
BLACKMAILING SOMEONE.

Connie:
RENE WOULDN'T DO THAT.

Camille:
YOU'RE RIGHT.
RENE'S A LOVER, NOT A THIEF.

Josh:
HE HAD PLENTY
OF MONEY.

HE DIDN'T HAVE TO
BLACKMAIL ANYBODY

AND HE WOULDN'T HAVE;
HE WAS AN HONEST MAN.

Mark:
YOU KNOW, IT MAY
OR MAY NOT BE BLACKMAIL

BUT, STEVE,
YOU MAY WANT TO CHECK OUT

RENE'S BANK RECORDS.

JESSE, WOULD YOU

CHECK SOMETHING OUT FOR ME?

SURE. WHAT DO
YOU NEED?

Mark:
MR. DUNN...

SEVERAL PEOPLE HAVE
SUGGESTED THAT OF
EVERYONE HERE

YOU'RE THE ONE
MOST CAPABLE

OF PUTTING YOUR HANDS
ON THE $100,000

THAT'S IN THAT
BRIEFCASE.

UH... I WOULD DIE,
I REALLY WOULD

IF MARISSA KNEW THIS,
BUT THAT'S NOT TRUE.

I DON'T HAVE $100,000.

NOT IN CASH,
NOT IN SECURITIES,
NOT IN ANYTHING.

Steve:
BUT YOU OWN THE
CUISINE CHANNEL.

IT'S MORTGAGED
TO THE HILT

RIGHT DOWN TO
THE TART PANS.

I'VE SECRETLY BEEN
TRYING TO SELL IT.

I'M SURPRISED;
FOOD IS VERY POPULAR.

EVERYBODY'S GOT TO EAT.

YEAH, BUT IT'S NOT LIKE
ANYBODY'S GOING TO STARVE

IF THEY DON'T USE OUR RECIPES,
YOU KNOW?

I MEAN, WHO'S GOING TO BUY
THE CUISINE CHANNEL

WITHOUT THE GREAT RENE FONTENOT?

NO WONDER YOU REMAINED FRIENDS.

RENE'S BEEN YOUR BIGGEST ASSET,
HASN'T HE?

OH, YEAH.

I TOLD YOU I DIDN'T KILL HIM

BUT, YOU KNOW, I THINK

I MIGHT KNOW
WHO DID.

ONE DAY LAST WEEK,
I WAS WALKING TO MY OFFICE

AND I HEARD
ELLIOT AND RENE ARGUING.

THEY WERE SCREAMING SO LOUD

THEY DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE ME.

ELLIOT WAS RAVING AT RENE
ABOUT HIS CREAM CUISINE.

CALLING HIM
A CHOLESTEROL KILLER.

AND THEN RENE SAID THAT ELLIOT
WAS JUST JEALOUS

BECAUSE HE WAS THE STAR
OF THE SHOW BEFORE RENE CAME.

NOW, LOSING TWO OF MY CHEFS

IS CERTAINLY GOING TO KILL
ANY DEAL TO SELL THIS CHANNEL

BUT, YOU KNOW...

I THOUGHT I OWED IT TO RENE
TO TELL YOU.

LIAR! LIAR! DAMNED LIAR!

LET ME GO!

I'M GOING TO MAKE KEITH
TELL YOU THE TRUTH!

LOOK, YOU'RE NOT GOING
ANYWHERE NEAR MR. DUNN.

MR. GRAYSON,
YOU TELL US.

WE'LL TAKE CARE
OF KEITH DUNN.

I WASN'T THE
ONE WHO ARGUED
WITH RENE.

IT WAS KEITH.

ACTUALLY, IT WAS
MORE LIKE A BRAWL.

THEY WERE THROWING THINGS

AND YELLING ABOUT WHO HAD
DONE MORE FOR THE OTHER ONE.

CAN YOU IMAGINE, TWO GROWN MEN
ACTING LIKE HOODLUMS?

KEITH THREATENED TO FIRE RENE.

RENE SAID, "GO AHEAD!"

THE CUISINE CHANNEL WOULD
GO DOWN THE DRAIN WITHOUT HIM.

WAS THAT ALL?

WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?
IT WAS BARBARIC.

OF COURSE, I WOULD EXPECT
THAT SORT OF BEHAVIOR FROM THEM.

KEITH, IN PARTICULAR,
IS QUITE THE INSENSITIVE BOOR.

YOU KNOW WHAT
HE DID TO ME TODAY?

NO, BUT I EXPECT
YOU'LL TELL US.

NOT TWO HOURS AGO,
HE GAVE ME AN EXPENSIVE GIFT.

HMM, THAT WOULD
CERTAINLY FROST ME.

PATE, CHEESE, RED WINE.

I WOULD RATHER EAT
NAILS AND HE KNOWS IT!

Camille:
YOU SLEPT WITH MY HUSBAND!

YOU DID! I KNOW YOU DID!

Connie:
I DIDN'T! OW! OW!

I SAW YOUR PICTURE
IN HIS ALBUM.

OH, I CAN'T BELIEVE
MY OWN SISTER!

LADIES! LADIES! STOP IT!

YOU OUGHT TO BE ASHAMED
OF YOURSELF.

RENE IS DEAD AND ALL
YOU CAN DO IS BICKER

ABOUT WHO HAD HIM LAST.

SHE SLEPT WITH MY HUSBAND.

WELL, HE WASN'T YOUR HUSBAND
AT THE TIME.

THAT DOESN'T MATTER.

WHAT MATTERS IS RENE IS DEAD

AND SOMEONE HERE
KILLED HIM.

LIEUTENANT SLOAN HERE.

IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T
FIGURED IT OUT, DARLINGS

SHE'S ANOTHER MEMBER
OF THE CLUB.

I BEG YOUR PARDON.

I'M NOT A MEMBER
OF ANY CLUB.

ARE YOU SAYING YOU DIDN'T
HAVE AN AFFAIR WITH RENE?

WELL, I MIGHT HAVE.

I PROBABLY
WOULD HAVE

BUT IT WASN'T JUST
A, YOU KNOW...

OH, WELL, IT WASN'T
FOR ANY OF US, EITHER, HONEY.

THAT WAS JUST RENE.

ALL RIGHT, THANKS.

THE CORONER
FINISHED THE AUTOPSY.

YOU WERE RIGHT.

FONTENOT DIED
OF ANAPHYLACTIC SHOCK... IODINE.

Mark:
WHERE DID IT
COME FROM?

WELL, THEY ANALYZED

ALL OF THE INGREDIENTS
HE USED

AND FOUND IT
IN HIS SHAKER OF SPICES.

RENE'S FAMOUS MAJIK

WAS FULL OF IODINE.

NOW WHO HANDED
THE MAJIK TO RENE?

I DID.

THANK YOU.

YOU'RE NOT REALLY
A SUSPECT

BUT I CAN'T LET YOU GO YET.
I'M SORRY.

WE'LL GET THIS WORKED OUT.

I KNOW.

STEVE, I JUST REMEMBERED
SOMETHING.

AS SOON AS I CAME INTO
THE STUDIO, IT HAPPENED.

THERE WAS A LOT OF CONFUSION,
AND MY FIRST INSTINCT

WAS TO MAKE SURE
RENE WAS ALL RIGHT

BUT HE WASN'T IN
HIS KITCHEN SET. JOSH WAS.

HE DIDN'T THINK
ANYONE WAS LOOKING

AND I DIDN'T THINK
ANYTHING OF IT AT THE TIME

BUT I SAW JOSH
TAKE RENE'S MAJIK

AND REMOVE SOME
OF THE SECRET FORMULA

AND POUR IT INTO BOTTLE
AND TAKE IT AWAY.

THAT'S A LIE.

SHE'S JUST SAYING IT SO YOU
WON'T THINK THAT SHE DID IT.

THAT FORMULA IS WORTH
A FORTUNE.

MANUFACTURERS HAVE BEEN AFTER
RENE FOR YEARS TO LICENSE IT.

"RENE FONTENOT'S MAJIK...
MORE FAMOUS THAN THE COLONEL'S

NINE HERBS AND SPICES.
NOW AVAILABLE."

YOU KNOW WHAT?

THE COMPANY THAT MAKES
IT STRIKES GOLD

BUT RENE, HE
WASN'T INTERESTED.

WELL, ARE YOU SUGGESTING
THAT JOSH STOLE THE FORMULA

TO HAVE IT ANALYZED
SO HE COULD SELL IT?

I'M TELLING YOU,
I DIDN'T DO IT.

IF YOU DID,
YOU'RE IN FOR

A BIG
DISAPPOINTMENT.

MAJIK'S A SCAM.

SECRET SPICES,
MY FOOT. IT'S SALT.

KOSHER SALT,
SEA SALT,
TABLE SALT

EVERY OTHER
KIND OF SALT

AND ALL OF IT
COLORED WITH

VEGETABLE DYE
TO LOOK EXOTIC.

YOU MEAN JOSH
STOLE SALT?

WAIT A MINUTE. OH!

I WAS HIS WIFE AND HE NEVER
TOLD ME WHAT WAS IN IT!

THAT'S ENOUGH.
KNOCK IT OFF.

LIEUTENANT!
HE'S GETTING AWAY.

I NEVER DID LIKE YOU.

Steve:
I THINK IT'S TIME
FOR YOU TO COME CLEAN, JOSH.

YOU RIGGED THE
MICROWAVE TO CREATE
A DIVERSION SO YOU

COULD STEAL THE MAJIK.

ALL RIGHT, YES, I DID IT.

I SHORTED OUT THE MICROWAVE
AND I STOLE THE MAJIK.

WHY?

RENE WOULDN'T SELL IT.

WHICH DIDN'T MAKE SENSE.

IT'S NOT LIKE HE
WASN'T ROLLING IN BUCKS.

SO YOU SAW
AN OPPORTUNITY

TO STEAL FROM YOUR UNCLE
AND YOU JUST TOOK IT.

YOU THINK I DON'T
FEEL GUILTY?

I THINK YOU FEEL CAUGHT.

I DIDN'T KILL HIM,
I SWEAR I DIDN'T.

WELL, MAYBE YOUR UNCLE FOUND OUT
YOU STOLE THE FORMULA.

MAYBE HE FIRED YOU.

MAYBE YOU GOT ANGRY
AND KILLED HIM

SO YOU COULD KEEP
THE FORMULA.

NO...

I LOVED MY UNCLE.

All:
EVERYBODY DID.

BE SURE TO MENTION THAT
TO THE JURY.

STEVE, LISTEN, BEFORE
WE ARREST ANYBODY

MAYBE WE OUGHT TO TALK.

IS THERE SOMEPLACE, UH,
PRIVATE WE COULD GO?

AND COULD I GET A...

A CHALKBOARD
AND SOME CHALK?

NOW, RENE WAS HAVING
AN AFFAIR WITH CONNIE.

EITHER BEFORE OR AFTER
HE WAS MARRIED

TO HER SISTER CAMILLE.

YEAH, WHICH WAS EITHER
BEFORE OR AFTER

RENE HAD AN AFFAIR
WITH MARISSA.

WHICH WAS DURING THE SAME TIME

MARISSA WAS MARRIED
TO KEITH DUNN.

MAKES YOU WONDER

HOW THEY HAD TIME TO COOK.

WHAT'S WORSE IS,
THEY ALL LIE

AND CONTRADICT
EACH OTHER.

YOU'D THINK IT WAS CONGRESS.

HEY.

I'VE GOT IT.

WHAT IS IT?

YEAH, I THINK I KNOW
WHAT HAPPENED.

Jesse:
CAN EVERYONE GATHER AROUND?
IT'S IMPORTANT.

I'M LOSING MONEY
EVERY MINUTE I STAND HERE.

CAN'T YOU EVER THINK
OF ANYONE BUT YOURSELF?

WHY WOULD I?
IS ANYBODY ELSE
THINKING ABOUT ME?

YOU KNOW, IF WE COULD JUST
FOCUS HERE FOR A SECOND

I THINK DR. SLOAN
WANTS TO SAY SOMETHING.

THANK YOU, JESSE.

LET'S START BY
TALKING ABOUT LIES.

NOW, EACH ONE OF YOU
TOLD A LIE...

YES, YOU DID...

WITH ONE THING IN
COMMON... YOU ALL LIED
ABOUT YOUR PERSONAL LIVES.

KEITH DUNN LIED
ABOUT HIS BUSINESS.

THAT GOT ME CURIOUS.

SO I ASKED MY COLLEAGUE,
DR. TRAVIS

TO DO A LITTLE RESEARCH.

KEITH, YOU SAID THAT
YOUR RESTAURANT
WAS DOING WELL

BUT THE TRUTH IS,
THAT NEIGHBORHOOD
HAD CHANGED A LOT

AND YOUR BUSINESS
WAS DECLINING SERIOUSLY

AND ON TOP OF
THAT, YOU WEREN'T
THE SOLE OWNER.

YOU WERE UP TO
YOUR NECK IN DEBT
TO SOME INVESTORS

WHO WANTED
THEIR MONEY BACK.

WHERE IS THIS LEADING,
DR. SLOAN?

TO THE MYSTERIOUS FIRE

THAT BURNED YOUR
RESTAURANT DOWN.

IT WAS TERRIBLE;
IT WAS DEVASTATING.

OH, I DOUBT THAT.

YOU COLLECTED THAT INSURANCE
MONEY AND LEFT TOWN.

YOUR INVESTORS DIDN'T GET
A DIME

AND YOU PUT EVERY NICKEL OF IT
INTO THE CUISINE CHANNEL.

THAT LITTLE FIRE MADE YOU
A FORTUNE, DIDN'T IT, KEITH?

IF YOU'RE INSINUATING
THAT I HAD ANYTHING TO
DO WITH THAT FIRE...

I'M NOT INSINUATING.
I KNOW YOU DID.

THE AUTHORITIES
INVESTIGATED THAT FIRE

AND THERE WAS NO EVIDENCE

THAT IT WAS ANYTHING
BUT AN ACCIDENT.

Mark:
BUT SOMEONE KNEW, DIDN'T THEY?

DR. SLOAN, ARE YOU
IMPLYING THAT RENE

WAS BLACKMAILING KEITH?

THE MONEY WAS IN RENE'S TRAILER

SO IT'S A PRETTY OBVIOUS
ASSUMPTION.

RENE WOULD NEVER DO THAT...
HE'S JUST NOT THE TYPE.

YEAH, I THOUGHT THAT,
TOO, SO I HAD STEVE
DO A LITTLE CHECKING.

THERE WERE NO BANK DEPOSITS
TO SUGGEST THAT RENE

HAD ANY SOURCE OF INCOME
OUTSIDE OF HIS JOB.

WELL, I TOLD YOU.

AND THEN I REALIZED THAT

THERE WAS SOMEBODY ELSE WHO HAD
ACCESS TO RENE'S TRAILER.

JOSH, YOU PRETTY MUCH CAME AND
WENT AS YOU PLEASED, DIDN'T YOU?

I WASN'T BLACKMAILING
ANYBODY.

WELL, THE MONEY
WAS IN THE TRAILER

AND YOU HAD ACCESS
TO THE TRAILER

AND IF RENE WASN'T BLACKMAILING
ANYBODY...

Dunn:
NO, IT'S TRUE. HE WAS.
HE WAS BLACKMAILING ME.

BEEN BLACKMAILING ME

FOR THE LAST SIX MONTHS.

KEITH, SHUT UP!

NO, NO, I WON'T.

HE SAID
RENE SENT HIM.

JOSH SAID THAT RENE
WANTED EVERYTHING

HANDLED THROUGH JOSH.

HE SAID IT WAS
RENE. YOU LIED.

IT WAS YOU.

RENE... RENE MADE ME DO IT.

HE SAID HE'D FIRE ME
IF I DIDN'T.

OH, WOULDN'T YOU KNOW IT?
IT'S ALL THE DEAD GUY'S FAULT.

IT'S TRUE!

Mark:
OKAY, JOSH, LET'S SAY
THAT RENE WAS

THE BRAINS BEHIND
THE ORGANIZATION

AND YOU WERE JUST A DUPE.

AFTER RENE DIED, WHY DIDN'T YOU
TELL US ABOUT THE BLACKMAIL?

WELL, I-I THOUGHT... MAYBE...

THOUGHT MAYBE

YOU'D TAKE THE MONEY.
YEAH, I CAN UNDERSTAND THAT

BUT THEN AFTER WE FOUND THE
MONEY AND YOU COULDN'T HAVE IT

WHY DIDN'T YOU
TELL US THEN?

I TOLD YOU, JOSH WAS

THE BLACKMAILER.

RENE FOUND OUT,
JOSH KILLED HIM.

NO!

YEAH, I THOUGHT SO, TOO

BUT THEN I REMEMBERED SOMETHING
AMANDA SAID.

JUST MINUTES BEFORE RENE DIED,
HE WAS PRAISING JOSH

AND HOPING THAT CONNIE AND
CAMILLE WOULDN'T HIRE HIM AWAY.

THAT'S TRUE.

SO YOU WERE THE ONE IN
THE BATHROOM THIS TIME?

Dunn:
WELL, THAT'S
NO BIG DEAL.

SO WHAT? I MEAN,
RENE JUST DIDN'T

WANT TO EXPOSE JOSH YET.

POSSIBLY, BUT THEN THERE'S STILL
THE MATTER OF THE GIFT BASKET.

WHAT GIFT BASKET?

A GIFT BASKET THAT KEITH TOOK
TO ELLIOT'S TRAILER.

IT WAS EXPENSIVE,
WASN'T IT, ELLIOT?

IF YOU LIKE THAT SORT OF THING.

WHICH YOU DIDN'T.

IT WAS FULL OF CHEESE
AND PATE AND RED WINE...

FOODS THAT, UH, ELLIOT THINKS
ARE POISON AND WOULD NEVER
EAT.

NEVER!

KEITH KNEW THAT, TOO,
BUT HE ALSO KNEW THAT

UH, CHEESE AND PATE AND RED WINE
WAS RENE'S IDEA OF HEAVEN.

I SAW SEVERAL BOTTLES OF THAT
SAME BORDEAUX IN HIS TRAILER.

YOU'RE SAYING
THE BASKET WAS
INTENDED FOR RENE?

Dunn:
THAT'S RIDICULOUS.

IF RENE WAS BLACKMAILING ME,
WHY WOULD I

BRING HIM A GIFT BASKET?

OH, YOU WEREN'T.

THE BASKET WAS JUST AN EXCUSE,
IN CASE SOMEBODY SAW YOU

GOING IN THERE

BECAUSE YOU KNEW
AFTER RENE DIED

WE'D ALL BE IN THERE
SEARCHING THAT TRAILER.

YOU WANTED TO GET YOUR MONEY
BACK BEFORE ANYBODY FOUND IT.

UNFORTUNATELY FOR YOU,
AFTER THE FIRE

ALL THE TRAILERS WERE MOVED

TO LET THE FIRE TRUCKS IN.

THEY WERE ALL PUT BACK

BUT NOT IN THE SAME PLACE.

YOU WENT INTO ELLIOT'S TRAILER...

THINKING IT WAS
RENE'S.

I KNEW IT. I KNEW YOU DIDN'T
CARE ABOUT ME.

YOU WERE GOING TO REPLACE ME

WITH THOSE
JAPANESE GINZU CHEFS, HMM?

AS SOON AS I CAN.

DR. SLOAN, YOUR SPECULATIONS
ARE... VERY ENTERTAINING

AND IF I WEREN'T THE SUBJECT,
I'D APPLAUD

BUT YOU CAN'T PROVE ANY OF IT.

YOU CERTAINLY CAN'T PROVE
THAT I KILLED RENE

AND YOU CAN'T PROVE
THAT I WAS ANYWHERE NEAR

THAT BOTTLE OF MAJIK.

EXCEPT FOR ONE THING:

WHEN THE SPRINKLERS CAME ON,
THE MAJIK BOTTLE GOT WET

AND WHEN YOU SWITCHED
THE MAJIK BOTTLE

FOR THAT ONE THAT WAS FULL
OF IODINE...

JOSH, WOULD YOU SHOW US
THE PALM OF YOUR RIGHT HAND?

RENE HAND-COLORED
ALL HIS OWN LABELS

AND WHEN JOSH GRABBED IT,
THAT WET DYE CAME RIGHT OFF

ON HIS PALM.

UH, KEITH, COULD WE SEE
YOUR RIGHT PALM?

HE WAS A SCOUNDREL

BUT HE WAS WORTH
EVERY MINUTE YOU
SPENT WITH HIM.

I DON'T KNOW...

OH, I DO.

WHEN YOU WERE WITH RENE

EVERYTHING WENT
FROM BLACK AND WHITE

TO GLORIOUS TECHNICOLOR.

YOU KNOW, I CAN'T
THINK OF ONE WAY

MY LIFE WASN'T MADE BETTER
BY JUST KNOWING HIM.

BUT HE LIED TO YOU...
HE LIED TO ALL OF YOU.

WELL, I WOULDN'T
SAY HE LIED...

HE JUST DIDN'T
TELL EACH OF US

EVERYTHING WE
WANTED TO KNOW.

BUT HE DID TELL US
WHAT WE NEEDED TO HEAR.

IF HE SAID HE LOVED
YOU, HONEY, HE DID.

Marissa:
ONE FOR YOU.

OKAY...

A TOAST...

TO RENE FONTENOT.

ONE OF A KIND.

TO RENE.

TO RENE.

TO RENE.