Designing Women (1986–1993): Season 4, Episode 21 - Tough Enough - full transcript

♪♪ [theme]

Suzanne, would
you like some of this?

Who me? Huh?

Oh no, I'm just looking.

I'm perfectly happy over
here with my rice cake.

You sure eat a lot of those rice
cakes, I think I'd like to taste one.

I think I'd like to taste
one, too, but I haven't yet.

Sort of like eating that
stuff they pack china in.

Yeah, they're right here.

Yeah. See you in a bit.

Who's that on the phone?



That was Boyd calling
from his car phone.

He's coming over to
borrow some catalogs.

Wonderful. Wonderful.

He's always borrowing something.

Boyd's a decorator. why
doesn't he buy his own catalogs?

I think he likes to just
come over and torture us.

Who are you talking about?

You know his name
is Boyd Allison.

He has a decorating firm
with these three other guys.

Yeah, they're real obnoxious.

They're always jocking it
up. Remember at Design-ex

where they took
all the throw pillows

and start using
them to shoot baskets

at the designer as
wastebasket collection?



You know one of them was
caught inside a pine armoire

with one of the usherettes.

I hate them.

They're absolutely terrified.

Somebody's going to think, Because
they're decorators, they must be gay.

So we have to put up with this
ridiculous overcompensation.

I mean all this jocking
around, going on and on about

hookers and football
and transmissions.

We're talking major
testosterone poisoning here.

Well, they sure do,
make a lot of money.

Of course they do.

They get every sports
club, every man's club,

every sports bar,
every bachelor pad.

Everywhere there's
a man's job to be had,

they just stomp
right in and grab it.

Well, you don't have to say another
word because I know the type.

- How do you deal with them?
- I don't have to.

When that kind of guy finds out
that I've actually been in prison,

they have enormous
respect for me.

That's how dumb they are.

Hey, how's everybody doing?

Hi, Boyd.

- Where are my books?
- They're right here.

You know Boyd, not that we mind,

but did you ever think of
ordering your own catalogs?

Why? Then I wouldn't be able to
come by here and take in the scenery.

You.

You look different than
the last time I saw you.

I know what it is, your
breasts are bigger.

- Boyd!
- Hey, nothing personal.

I'm a breast man. I
just notice these things.

Boyd why don't you just take
your catalogs and hit the tarmac?

Kind of frosty in
here, don't you think?

What's the matter, forget
to take you iron supplement?

[laughs]

If you must know, I'm on a diet.

And I'm not in a good mood!

Whoa.

Oh-oh.

Don't worry about it.
You look fine to me.

Then again, I only judge a girl

whether or not she
can fit in an armoire.

[laughs]

Hey, did I mention

that I've just locked
up $150,000 job?

No, you didn't.

Is it for someone
with big breasts?

As matter of fact, it's the
Cherokee Sports Club.

They're doing a total renovation

and we're about
to sign the contract.

I believe you're referring to
the Cherokee Bowling Lanes.

Maybe it's a bowling alley now,

but the guys turning it
into a fancy sports club,

and I'll be taking
home 150,000 big ones.

Aw! See you.

Another big job.

Doesn't it just gall you when
someone obnoxious gets rich?

What's he going to do with a
hundred and fifty thousand, anyway?

Buy a Trans Am and
paint flames on the hood?

We ought to give that
man a run for his money.

The four of us are going to
march down the Cherokee Lanes

and put in a low bid.

Oh, that would make Boyd
and those guys so mad.

I like that idea.

Just take that job
away from him.

Now, wait a minute.

If the owner wanted to
hire Boyd and his guys,

he'll probably want to work
with a bunch of tough jocks.

I mean we're not qualified.

We might.

I mean we could be pretty,

you know, tough
when we want to be.

Can't we?

Sure we can.

Hah!

- Hah!
- Don't even think about it.

Okay, the manager of this place

is probably more comfortable
doing business with men.

So just for the time being,

when he comes in,
nobody act too feminine.

I don't know what
you are talking about.

What exactly is it we're
not supposed to do?

You know, girl things.

Squeal, giggle, apply
makeup, give birth.

Guys hate it when we do that.

Oh, hi. Thanks for waiting.

So I understand you
all want a shot at this job,

but you see I already talked to this
bunch of guys, and they seemed okay.

I think I'll probably
just stick with them.

Well, now, we might be
able to save you some money.

We hear you're putting
in a new restaurant.

We have a lot of
experience with restaurants.

As a matter of fact, we're
getting ready to redo another one.

Really, which one?

It's the Ruffles and
Bows Tea Room.

Uh-huh.

Well, look, I don't have
anything against women.

I really don't.

It's just that this
is a bowling alley

and I've really liked to have
it done by people who bowl.

We bowl.

You do?

Yeah, I really like it.

Yeah, so do I.

- Me too.
- Not me.

Well, I guess, I should at
least give you a chance.

Well, thanks.

Tell you what. You all come
down here Saturday night.

I'll give you a free lane. You
can bowl a couple of games.

Get the feel of the place.

Then you can put
together your proposal.

How about it?

Did you say Saturday?

I can't do it on Saturday.

Neither can I.

Oh, what are you doing?

We're rebuilding the
rear differential on our car.

Well, how about Friday?

[Charlene] I haven't
been bowling in years.

Look, it doesn't matter

when any of us
last went bowling.

We don't have to be good.

We just have to go.

You don't think this guy is
going to be looking at our score?

Now, wait a second. If we
have to get a real high score,

I don't know if I can do it.
I mean I just had a baby.

I mean I don't
think this is the time

for me to be
joining a team sport.

Oh, bowling isn't a sport?

Well, how do you figure?

Well, if you can eat a
hotdog while competing,

it's not a sport.

That's right.

It's a game, and games
are just to have fun.

So we're not going to
take this too seriously?

No.

That's good.

Hey, how is it going?

I brought your books back.

You're finished
with them already?

Yeah, I'm fast.
That's how I work.

I'll be locking up the
Cherokee job any minute now.

Well, you haven't got it, yet.

Yeah, don't be so sure, Boyd.

Somebody might
just beat you out.

Hah! Never happen.

The owner hasn't even
talked to anyone else yet

expect for Schindler and Tate.

And those guys will probably
just paint the whole place

paisley, if you
know what I mean.

We've got it locked
up. That guy loves us.

- Oh, yeah.
- Sure.

Hey, he invited us to
go bowling Friday night.

Free lane and everything.

I guarantee you we will walk out
of that place with a contract signed.

See ya.

They are going to be
there Friday night, too?

Is this some kind
of competition?

Because I do not compete.

I used to have that
evening gown category.

Well, all I can tell is

if we're all to go up
against these guys,

I want to win and win big.

You know we really should
feel sorry for somebody like that.

He's been victimized
by a society that tells him

he has to act that
way to be a man.

There's only one thing
to do with someone

who's that insecure
about his sexuality.

What is that?

Pound him into the ground.

Hi. Shoe sizes?

- 6, please.
- 8.

7 for me.

Boyd and those
guys are already here.

I wonder how they're doing.

Well, don't get
nervous, Mary Jo.

It's not a competition.
This is just for fun.

- Hi, you came.
- Hi.

Of course, wouldn't missed it.

Hey, have fun.

We always have fun when we bowl.

As we often do.

Right.

Okay, I'm late. I know it.

Let's just get this
thing over with.

Suzanne, that is not an appropriate
attitude or an appropriate outfit.

We're trying to make
a good impression.

Attempting in fact to
dispel the idea that women

are necessarily frivolous,
silly incompetents.

So what's your point?

You know how you always are.

Yes.

Don't be that way.

Which size are you?

What business is it of yours?

I'm eating rice cakes already.

What do you people
want from me? Just lay off!

Suzanne, she meant shoe size.

Oh.

6 1/2.

Right.

There you go. Just
leave your shoes with me.

I beg your pardon?

We keep your shoes so you
don't walk out with the rented ones.

Well, let me just put your
mind to rest about this.

Do you really think

that I'm going to give up
my brand-new Maud Frizon

so that I can walk out of here

wearing these
multi-colored clown shoes

stained with the sweat
of 60,000 poor people

because if that's what
you're worried about,

let me just say,
don't worry about it.

Come on, come on, come on.

Yes, yes, yes.

So that's 2 for you.

Is that 2 or 3?

Looks like 3 to me.

Nope, that's 2, Boyd.

Look, it's on the
automatic score.

Okay, first frame is practice.

Hey, we're not going to
be late tonight, are we?

I want to see my kid
before he goes to sleep.

You know having that kid
has just about ruined you.

You're acting like a pansy.

But the pansy is a
very beautiful flower.

Why do we have to
have this guy anyway?

I don't care what Barcelona
design institute he went to.

Hey, man. Somebody's
got to do the work.

We can't all be salesmen.

All of you, listen up.

I don't want anybody
wussing out me here tonight.

We're going to lock
up a major contract

and we're going to do
it by being manly men.

That means no calling the wife,

no intellectual remarks,

and you, don't be European.

We've got to remember why we
got into decorating to begin with.

Because we are slaves to beauty.

Whoa! Hooter alert!

[men cheer]

I'll go first.

She is stepping up to the line.

She is adjusting her grip.

She is beginning her approach.

She is wearing very tight pants.

- Do you mind?
- Sorry, go ahead.

[pins crash]

Good shot.

Whoa!

7-10 pin split.

Now, that's a toughie.

The way you play this one is

you hit either a 7 or 10

and drive it across
into the other one.

Yes, if the pins stand
up, I knock them down.

I get it.

Hey, just trying to help.

Whoa! Right in between.

Field goal!

[laughs]

[grunts]

Well, you'll all be happy to
know that I called Anthony

and he's coming over with
some change of clothes.

Suzanne, you're up. You're up.

- Come on. Come on.
- Get out of there.

Okay.

Which one of these is mine?

Anyone will do.

Suzanne, you've got to
put your fingers in the holes.

I've just had a manicure, okay?

You're up, Bill.

Oh, I don't think I'd better.

[high voice] I just
had a manicure.

And your nails look
very beautiful, dear.

[clears throat]

Shoot.

[cheering]

Great!

Why in the world you need

to wear an ugly pair
of shoes to do that?

Oh, Suzanne. Good shot.

Good shot. Okay, I
think I'm up up here.

Hey, I've got an idea.

Why don't we play
shirts versus skins?

Can we just sit here and wait
for the inevitable punch line?

You girls be the skins.

[laughs]

We're going to beat
the pants off you, guys.

Oh, me first.

I don't know why the phrase
"vulgar adolescent cretins"

keeps occurring to me.

Don't worry, Julia.
We're going to win.

I know how to bowl.

I took it at gym
class. It's real easy.

One, two, three, four.

Wait a few second.
Is it four or five?

I don't remember. Okay.

One, two, three, four.

Which foot did I start out on?

[all] Just bowl.

[cheers]

Strike! Strike!

I got a strike. I got
an A in that course.

Mary Jo, you're up.

I don't want to go.

- Why not?
- I didn't want to say
anything about it,

but every time one
of you all gets up,

these guys are just staring
right at your rear end.

Couldn't I just keep score?

Mary Jo, they're just
trying to psych us out

and they're not going to do it.

If they want to
stare at our behinds,

we'll just stare
at their behinds.

- Come on.
- All right.

No shot American
spin on that ball.

The male form can
be very beautiful, no?

Yeah!

- Aah.
- Hi, how's it going?

Hi! Oh, great, great.

- Two strikes so far.
- Just have fun.

Thanks. Oh, yeah, we are.

Hey, service girl.

We need a bucket of beer here.

Yeah, that's what
screwing up our game.

We're sober.

[chuckles]

They're ordering beer.

Then we will order beer, too.

Hey, waitress, we will also

have one of those
buckets of beer.

If we have to be
macho to get this job,

it is macho we will be.

Nice headlights.

Hey, I'm trying.

[Charlene] Mary
Jo, you're up again.

You're up again. You got it!

What are you going to do?

[all] You got it!

Put it through!

You got it!

Oh, wait, wait! No,
no, that's wrong.

That's basketball.

Okay, never mind, never mind.

I beg your pardon over there.

I believe your foot
just went over that line.

Isn't that against the law?

Get out of here.

It most certainly is. Foul!

Foul! Foul! Foul!

Mary Jo! Mary Jo! Just
wind it down a little bit.

Lord, one beer and
it's all over for her.

Yeah!

Oh, boy, that was lucky.

I saw that.

That's no fair. You
put some kind of illegal

spin on that ball or something.

As a matter of fact,
I think you spit on it.

Mary Jo?

Mary Jo, just bowl, bowl.

All right. Hell, I'm
changing balls.

That other balls are too dinky.

I want a man's ball.

- How are we doing?
- We're neck and neck.

We must be better
than I thought.

No, they're just terrible, too.

Come to me. Come to mama.

All right, this ones good.

You guys see those
ten pins down there?

Well, take a good look

because in a couple of
seconds it's going to nothing

but bowling pin shrapnel.

Hah! Top that, buckaroos.

I like this. This is
fun being macho!

Hey, Sugarbaker,
after we finish here,

what do you say we go
cruise for some chicks?

[Charlene] Mary Jo!

Hey, Charlene, you know what?

Now that I think of it.

Your breasts really are bigger.

- Mary Jo, please!
- Mary Jo, seriously.

I am full of the
competitive spirit, too.

But there's no reason that
we cannot behave like ladies.

Oh, then what are
you doing with that?

The manager was
passing them out.

They took them. What
was I suppose to say?

Well, just don't light it, okay?

Charlene, just
don't worry about it.

Excuse me! Excuse me!

Do you have any idea
how bad that smells?

There are 300 nasty-smelling
rental shoes in this place

and you just over
powering them all.

Just give me that! Give me that!

Give me that!

Sheesh!

Boyd, you're up.

[gargling]

We're winning.

Not by much.

- Ahh!
- What's the matter?

My trick wrist. I
think it's sprained.

Ha! If you can't finish
the game we win.

You have to surrender.

If you can't finish, we win.

That's right.

First of all, the word
is forfeit, all right?

Secondly, I'm not
forfeiting to a bunch of girls.

I'll bowl left-handed.

I'll knock the ball down
the lane with my face,

but I'm not forfeiting.

We'd like to see that.

Hi, Suzanne. I
brought you clothes.

By the way, you should have told me
that you have the alarm in your house on.

Cause when I let myself in,
Consuela could have shot me.

Fortunately, she just hit
me in the head with a pan.

I hope this is the right outfit.

Hey! Perfect!

Here's our fourth.
He's on our team.

Uh uh! He's ours.

Well, I beg your pardon.

He's a guy. It's
guys versus girls.

It's our company
against your company.

He belongs to us.

He's more man than
all of you anyway.

- He's been to prison.
- That's right!

[all shouting]

Hey, hey.

Hey!

All of you in my office.

Now!

Well, Julia, I'm really
glad to see that you're all

aren't taking
this too seriously.

What is the matter
with you people?

What do you think bowling is?

Some sort of rowdy
hooligan sport?

We may have got a
little bit carried away.

- We're simply trying to make sense...
- Please just be quiet.

If you'll be quite
for two minutes,

I'll give you
another cigar, okay?

Now, unfortunately,

I still need someone
to do my renovation.

And I have made my decision.

I've decide to go with the
firm of Schindler and Tate.

Oh, no.

- Not Schindler and Tate again.
- Excuse me sir. But Schindler and Tate,

they're a little light in the bowling
shoes if you catch my drift?

I'm perfectly aware

that these fellows have
chosen an alternative lifestyle.

So what? They're
good decorators.

They're good bowlers.
And they're gentlemen.

Unlike some people I could name.

I think I resent that.

I and my friends
here are gentlemen

in every sense of the word.

Let's get out of here.

Never mind, y'all.

We still have the Ruffles
and Bows Tea Rooms.

They're re-doing
Ruffles and Bows?

I know it well. I
love that room.

We should put in a bid on that.

Oh, no, you don't. That's ours.

Why? You don't think a
group of men could do it?

[all talking at once]

[Mary Jo] Well,
I guess we really

sort of blew that
one, didn't we?

I guess we did.

Oh well, whoever wanted to
decorate no bowling alley anyway?

We thought we're
proving a point, Suzanne,

about how sometimes
women have to act like men

in order to get along
in the business world.

Except we weren't
acting like men.

We were just
acting like big fools.

Well, they started it.

It doesn't matter who
started it, Suzanne.

We shouldn't have
gone along with it.

I guess there are some women
who like to drink and swear

and smoke and
play golf and poker

and follow the football scores.

And I guess sometimes
I could be one of them.

But we shouldn't have
to pretend to be macho

just in order to compete.

That's right. Women
never do that to men.

What do you mean?

Well, she means that,

you know, in a business
where women dominate,

they would never
make men act like them.

You're kidding, right?

No, we're not kidding. Why?

Because you all do
that to me all the time.

Anthony, we do not.

Oh, yes, you do.

You always making
me do girl stuff.

I'm always been taken
to beauty pageants,

fashion shows, and tea parties.

Not to mention constantly
being joined in the conversation

about boyfriends, bra sizes
and pre-menstrual syndrome.

Half the time I end
up in women's clothing.

That's true. It's
true. We do do that.

Oh, Anthony, I feel terrible.

Oh, we do not.

Anthony, you brought
me the wrong outfit now.

I told you I want you to
bring me my purple culottes.

I rest my case.

And on that note,

I think I'm going
to head for home,

unless you all want
to bowl another game.

No, I think we've just
gotten all the competition

out of our systems
for one evening.

Where's Julia?
Julia, we're leaving!

You'll all have to
go on without me.

I've got a bet to settle.

Hey, are you playing
or are you talking?

Rack 'em up.