Dear White People (2017–…): Season 3, Episode 7 - Volume 3: Chapter VII - full transcript
Joelle!
Your thoughts on the passage.
You know, why don't we all read it again
to ourselves,
in private, like, in our rooms?
Amen.
New Bible, who dis?
It's Chester.
Think Moonlight meets Sex and the City
but at Winchester
and boiling over with all the tea.
And with the political eroticism
of Mapplethorpe
plus the intrigue of Dangerous Liaisons.
Kelsey, why are you here?
Look, Pastor Kordell,
if this is about the lesbian thing,
I will see your Leviticus
and raise you an extremely vivid
1st Samuel, chapter 18.
No, no.
All are welcome
as long as we're reading scripture
and not pure, unadulterated...
smut.
Who... Who wrote this?
Give me my copy back.
Thank you.
I got to get to class.
♪ You haven't always had ♪
The rest of the people...
♪ The comfort of truth ♪
A night of adventure awaited me,
but first, a hot cup of joe
to fight off a cold, cold world.
Honey, though sweet, can be spicy
when used in the bedroom.
Other handy condiments include ketchup.
Are you finally doing your job
and managing The New Independent?
Didn't you hack in to run things
on your own?
What happened to you, Lionel?
Do you even care about the news?
No.
Balls!
Work it, work it!
Ooh. Looks like fun was had.
Why are you dressed like that?
Like I said, balls.
Can you be more specific?
There's a quarterly drag ball
at Rough Grade.
A chance for queens
to pull the sticks out their asses
that were rammed up there
by the professors.
- But not in a fun way.
- Is there a fun way to have...?
Oh. Of course there is.
You guys better order something.
How dare you!
My $75,000 tuition
paid for that espresso machine!
And your ratty apron.
Why wasn't I invited to this ball?
Oh, honey.
It just didn't seem like your thing.
This is the deep end of the gay pool
and you still got your little floaties on.
You got to dress up as Uhura
from Star Trek
and be celebrated for it.
That is exactly my thing!
- I told you we should've invited him.
- Oh.
You... You did?
Sweetie, does kindness surprise you?
To be honest, yes, it does.
And you took Sam!
But not me?
Young gay men with access to both
wigs and liquor
is dependably compelling.
Interesting alternative theory:
could Sam be Chester?
- Oh!
- I do not have the stamina,
but we get it, Michael,
you're obsessed with Chester.
- We all are.
- Of course I'm obsessed.
It's a highbrow exploration
of an oft-ignored community
with a pulp noir aesthetic.
It's also literary Viagra.
It operates on multiple levels.
Lionel, you write.
When?!
What do you think?
I think you have good taste.
Entirely too much time has passed
without mentioning me
or the fact that I won this.
Oh.
Was there a fight?
Yes, but that's not why it's broke.
This bitch slayed.
My category was realness of yore.
I was Marie Antoinasty.
And as soon as I hit the runway...
You know what? I'll just do it.
No one asked for an encore.
Do not encourage her!
Oh, don't be jealous, U-whore-a,
just 'cause you can't handle wearing heels
for more than 20 minutes.
Do not be mad 'cause I got
very convincing knock-off Gucci slides.
Listen up, you bougie motherfuckers!
Sashay the cafe, bitch!
As your job offers pour in
from Wall Street,
Silicon Valley,
and Voldemort...
remember, you have a choice.
Join King Louis and myself
by exploiting the proletariat
and eviscerating the middle class!
Or you can rise up,
take me to the guillotine,
and start a revolution!
Make life better for everyone,
including the real-life pier kids
whose culture you're appropriating
right now!
Excuse me, but we are not zoned
for live entertainment.
This part's my favorite.
No, seriously, we could get shut down.
- It's like an insurance...
- So let's be fierce
and tell Winchester what we want.
Let's run the government like we run
these cobblestone streets,
and that's when I broke the trophy.
I would have loved to see that.
You just did!
But without the sound of Brooke
turning life's simple joys
into tedious power struggles.
Bitch, I'm fun sometimes!
I can handle the deep end of the pool.
In that case,
you want to put on your scuba gear?
- Tomorrow night is...
- Oh!
- Another ball?
- Balls are involved.
But more on the deep...
deep...
deep end.
You dive?
Oh. What?
- That's what I thought.
- No! No. I'm in.
My water wings are off,
just me and my trunks.
Those will be off, too.
Okay.
Exciting.
I guess this proves Darwin's
theory of natural selection wrong.
...knock-off Gucci slides.
Listen up, you bougie motherfuckers!
Sanctimonious Christians.
Imagine knowing,
living,
feeling deep in your soul
you are your gender,
and the whole world just...
thinks you're...
An abomination.
That's how I'm treated
as a practicing Christian on campus.
You know, some of the greatest minds
in history were devout,
but suddenly there's...
there's no room for faith in academia.
Would headphones kill you?
[sighs.
What are you doing down here?
The room's free.
Oh. You and Reggie finally
wear each other out?
God, your abs must be so toned.
Yeah, and my quads.
- I had to give the whole body a break.
- Damn.
- God, I feel like a reality star!
- Oh.
Should I start a fight with someone?
Please, I'm sorry. Am I disturbing you?
I'll put headphones in.
Bitch, play the clip.
My worldview
hasn't been changed by Winchester,
but Winchester will be changed
by my worldview.
- God!
- Do you have another angle?
I'm sure you look vain in that one, too.
As long as I'm not being edited
to be the villain.
Don't Phaedra me.
You offered to flip a table.
That girl was young and naive.
This woman knows better now.
And if I'm going to get
Queensfield's recommendation,
I need to protect my brand.
Hey, Joe, can you use
your evolutionary biology minor
to explain why Co is so extra?
I mean, we're biologically wired
to find exotic people
to index ourselves against.
That's why we believe
Kim Kardashian's interesting.
Oh. So, how Co lives and dies
by the word of Queensfield,
even though he's just some old,
wrinkly white man with coffee breath...
Coffee breath would be a welcome reprieve
from the scent of children's tears
and meat burps.
I feel like pre-Sasha Fierce Beyoncé.
Perfect in every way,
yet still not good enough
for the relentless white masses.
- Yeah, that sounds right.
- Yeah, that tracks. Yeah.
I mean, can we ever
be good enough for them?
I want to be the first black woman
to get this fellowship,
but also I want there to be
a second and a third,
and I don't want them to go fucking nuts
because they're trying to balance
achieving their dreams
and making sure they're still palatable.
The girls, I mean.
Well, and also their dreams.
I mean, girls shouldn't have to wonder
if their dreams...
Is this a human 404 error?
- Co, are you okay?
- I don't know.
Ask me in a couple of days.
Hey, Co.
Maybe the second girl needs to see
the first girl do it without Queensfield.
Mmm.
Is that a new issue?
No, but I keep re-reading it
hoping Chester gets some satisfaction.
I mean, are all guys this wishy-washy?
Hot one minute, then cold the next,
then they get what they want
and jump onto the next thing,
whether it's another boy in the stacks
or a hot older tech genius
who used to work at Google.
I'm starting to think
we're not talking about Chester anymore.
You really should talk to Reggie.
We're not really in the "confrontation
and baring my soul" phase.
I'm still in the "pretending I like
wearing uncomfortable g-strings" phase.
[chuckles[ You know what's really great?
The "granny panty" phase.
Oh, can't wait.
Speaking of which, I got to go.
Well, get your little granny panties
out of here.
♪ Please on every motherfuckin' thing... ♪
- How much time do we have?
- Fifteen minutes.
Oh. How was your shift?
Oh. I got to scrape condoms
off the bar floor this afternoon.
- How's your day so far?
- Right now, fantastic,
but I am dreading my meeting
with Jerry Skyler tomorrow.
Well, I mean, he might say good things.
Oh, what?
Like, "Your film needs more thoughts"?
Please stop imitating
Jerry Skyler right now.
Okay.
I've stumbled onto something interesting
and I'm just not ready to have
my bubble burst
- when he doesn't get it, you know?
- Mm-hmm.
Plus, I've been way too distracted
thinking about a stupid pyramid.
Thought you and Lionel
were done with all that.
Yeah, well, like America's addiction
to white women in peril
running around in a dystopian future,
it won't go away.
What do pyramids make you think of?
Um...
- Egypt? Mummies?
- Mm-hmm.
- Uh-huh.
- Uh...
- Brendan Fraser in The Mummy?
- Oh, my God, he was so hot in that.
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
Yeah, well, so was Rachel Weisz
with that hot English accent.
Oh. Is that what does it for you?
Biscuits, Brexit, Parliament.
Yeah, it does.
But back on topic.
You know, pyramids are small on top and...
big on the bottom.
Like you.
Huh. Top...
up...
above you...
Joelle was saying something today
about leadership and celebrity,
how we enshrine them in stone.
Fuck, what was she saying?
Fuck, we really got to stop bringing up
other people during sex.
Okay.
Whoa. Cynthia Fray emailed me back.
Sam.
I just sent her a little
welcome to Winchester note.
"Hey, girl, how you been?
I disagree with the decision
of the faculty panel."
Supes profesh.
Okay.
And it looks like she agrees.
She was moved by my bold email.
Yeah, well,
boldness is your superpower.
It's also your Achilles' heel.
But we're going to focus on the positive.
You're two minutes late.
You know, you don't have to go to college
to be a prison guard.
What's the point?
Liar!
You pretended
you weren't like everyone else,
but you are like everyone else.
I'm just not ready for all this right now.
What about what I'm ready for?
You never even asked.
It's just only about what you want.
- That's not true.
- I told you that I wanted to go slow,
but no, you took advantage of me while
I was dealing with the horrific tragedy
of my mother getting pregnant
with a baby that she's very excited about.
Do you ever look back
at the people that you hurt?
Sometimes, if we've swapped nudes.
At least we have our friendship.
It takes two people to make a friendship,
Brooke,
and you can't have it
just because you want it.
- ♪ We're the 1%, the 1% ♪
- ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
The banality of this suburban abode
belies the backdrop for a bacchanal.
Turn a black light on this place,
and suddenly it's the set of NCIS:
Special Victims of Rock Hard Units:
Vancouver.
- ♪ The 1% ♪
- ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Bye-bye, 99
Bye-bye, bye-bye 99 ♪
♪ Bye-bye, 99
Bye-bye, bye-bye 99 ♪
♪ One, one, one, one, one, one ♪
♪ One, one, one, one, one, one ♪
♪ One, one, one, one, one, one ♪
♪ One, one, one, one, one, one ♪
And I've never been shy about my body.
I'm wearing my birthday suit
to gratify the lesser gods.
♪ Occupy the streets
Our glamour is elite ♪
♪ So average bitches, have a seat
Because we're too pretty to compete ♪
♪ You probably will delete
So sorry we'll defeat ♪
♪ 'Cause all y'all bitches obsolete ♪
♪ Better have your bitches wash my feet ♪
♪ Return to sender, keep receipts
We fly first class, you... ♪
No, Vanjie.
Those are for on the way out.
Don't make a rookie mistake.
What else am I going to do?
- This party's a little...
- Bitch.
Follow me.
♪ My sex is my weapon ♪
Of course the action's underground.
Like picking up a rock
and seeing hundreds of ants.
Try and bury the human libido
if you want.
Ooh. These two here? Hot.
Could be hotter if they added a third.
- ♪ My weapon ♪
- ♪ My sex is ♪
♪ My sex gonna fuck with no shame
My sex is... ♪
Lionel?
You sure you want to do this?
It's not everyone's jar of poppers.
♪ Not the church, not the state
My own faith ♪
♪ My sex got that... ♪
Yes, we have the chance
to reinvent human sexuality
without puritanical oversight,
but it's perfectly valid to just,
you know,
have a boyfriend and be basic.
The first one sounded better.
I already tried being basic
and I was boring.
Aww. Those are my bus condoms!
You are so proud of that bus.
Okay, well, you go have fun.
But if you see me,
do not approach, look at, or talk to me.
You are basically my younger,
less confident brother,
and incest fantasies
are where I draw the line
now that I've given up molly for Lent.
When is Lent again?
And is it over?
Never mind.
Got to go.
Boy, D...
he wanted a piece of this.
You could see it from space.
But me,
I needed to find a different black hole.
♪ My sex
My sex rules ♪
Come on, baby.
♪...tell you what to do ♪
♪ My sex
My sex rules ♪
Ah. The gay hello.
Ooh.
And he added a "how do you do."
Is there any possible way to just...
maybe have a conversation in here?
People don't come for the conversation.
They come for me.
Which side do you want?
Liberal or conservative?
I just want a boyfriend.
Doesn't anyone here just want
a fucking boyfriend?!
Not right now!
A note.
This isn't the place to find Mr. Right
unless you have
virtually no short-term memory.
What I mean is...
I get you.
This used to be fun.
But I think I keep coming here
for the conversation.
Are we at the same party?
Get community where you can.
But I'm ready for something new.
Usually I move with as little words
exchanged as possible,
but conversation with Lil' Brown Eyes
was blowing my mind.
Well, I...
hope you aren't leaving on my account.
It was a little extra in there.
Did you see the guy sucking himself off?
Yes! Yes!
Why even come to the party?
You clearly don't need anyone.
It is the epitome
of anti-social behavior.
You're funty.
And starving.
You want to grab some drunchies?
Talk more?
I try to avoid open-air hot wings
set next to a table of condoms and lube.
If only he didn't come
with so much baggage.
Uh...
I need some sleep.
Some other time?
Nah.
You're dead to me now.
What?
Peace!
Hey, bud.
God, Cynthia Fray is brilliant.
Aww, thank you.
You're a lifesaver, but I can't stay.
I'm super happy for you, babe.
If you decide to leave me for her,
uh, you know, I... I'll understand.
Well, if Professor Skyler asks,
tell him I'm sick.
Oh, no.
- Do you still want this?
- Mm-hmm.
- Bye.
- Bye.
The delivery estimate was 30 minutes.
I called Postmates.
You've already been fired.
Hi, Ms. Fray.
I'm Samantha White.
Of course you are.
I didn't know you lived here.
Just for a month.
Wow. You really moved in.
Interesting.
Oh. Thanks.
All they needed was permission
to show their whole racist asses.
I decided to use slow motion
to really capture the jubilation
in each face.
I thought it said so much.
Oh, yes.
I saw all the slow motion.
Ms. Fray,
thank you so much for meeting with me.
The department paired me with...
Jerry Skyler.
Oh, incredible.
Did he make you write a dissertation
about his last movie?
Mista Griggins Gets His Groove Back:
The Viagra Tales?
Hmm.
That movie made so much money.
You are a thousand times better.
Make Correct Decisions changed my life.
I... I had never seen anyone
who looked like me, talked like me,
filmed with so much love and artistry.
It is what I do.
So let's get to the main course.
Um...
I think I've stumbled onto
something cool, but I'm not quite sure.
I'm sure it's fine.
Okay.
Has your worldview changed
since coming to Winchester?
My worldview
hasn't been changed by Winchester,
but Winchester will be changed
by my worldview.
God, I feel like a reality star!
But more on the deep... deep end.
You can rise up.
Take me to the guillotine!
And start a revolution!
So,
- what was cool?
- Um...
Did you notice the...
edit between...
I guess I really don't know what to do.
It is very difficult
to make a documentary.
Well, do you have any thoughts
on this one?
None have yet been provoked.
Ah.
You've seen my films, right?
I can obviously see the influence.
I guess, but I really am
trying to do my own thing...
Perhaps if you stop trying to be me,
your problems will be cleared up.
Um...
Thanks for your... advice.
You know, some of the faculty
wanted us to meet.
Now I can say...
I did.
It's always nice to meet a fan.
Are we allowed to talk
without Joelle or...?
- How does this work?
- No.
And we are actually in violation
right now, so...
I'm kidding.
Okay.
Have you ever admired someone,
and then were pretty sure
you'd hit it off,
and then you get together,
and then the whole thing goes to shit?
And then stays awkward forever
until Joelle's around?
Oh, shit.
'Cause, see, I thought
I had changed the subject.
You ain't the only one with jokes.
We're fine.
We're friends.
I'm good.
Really.
Yeah, I haven't seen you smile
this much since...
I have never seen you smile this much.
Must be real nice to meet your hero
and not have them shit all over you.
Facts.
You know what?
I finally found my people.
And you will, too.
You know, I was really resistant,
but...
sometimes the things you resist
are just the things you need.
That's the sentiment of the day
on the app, isn't it?
It is.
It's also true.
Oh, hey.
How are you feeling?
I'm not sick. I lied.
Obviously.
I met with Cynthia Fray today.
Hmm.
How'd that go?
Not at all as I expected.
Yeah.
She used to be a hero to me, too.
Guess that's why they say
never meet your heroes.
But it did make it
that much more satisfying
to buy the island she vacationed on.
"Vacationed"?
Did you ban her?
I named it "Griggins Isle."
She never came back.
Wow. Rich people level trolling
is a compelling argument for selling out.
I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that.
Have a seat, Sam. If you don't mind.
I appreciate that you and Cynthia
make films in this beautiful,
like, Italian neorealist style,
and I get that I just took
the Chitlin' Circuit
and made it Hollywood-ready,
but Europeans invented your style.
Black people invented mine,
but I'm the sellout.
I shouldn't have been an asshole to you.
It's all right.
Faculty warned me about you.
The hell did they say?
That Sam would be an asshole to you.
But they also said she was
a really talented visual stylist,
and a very promising filmmaker
who just needed, like,
a little bit of guidance.
Look, what you don't need
is Cynthia "chasing her first movie" Fray
to tell you that you're good.
Let her be king crab, all right?
The rest of us crabs,
we're going to get out of this barrel,
but it's not going to be by looking up.
Okay? We got to...
Look around?
Yeah.
Like, you are surrounded by allies
the minute you decide to be.
So, tomorrow at 10:00, me and you?
Sam?
Yeah.
Yeah, sorry, I think you just helped me
figure something out.
Well, look at Gort!
Velma, I figured out the pyramid.
- I know, aliens.
- No!
I figured out what Bell Tower Bob
was saying, what it means, and...
Jerry Skyler helped me get there.
I have been thinking that one type
of storytelling is better than the other,
- but it's just... different.
- Hmm?
I am climbing this pyramid, Lionel,
because it's wired in me,
and I'm chasing
what I've been told is the best,
but when you look at the pyramid
from God's eye view, what do you see?
Aliens?
You see the whole thing.
Flat, same level.
Everyone connected by...
You look at the pyramid from above
and you see an X. Cute.
- And where does your eye take you?
- To the four corners... but...
We're all in this together.
Oh, God, I think that's the moral
of the last Mista Griggins movie.
The one called Mista Griggins: We're All In This Together?
Uhh. Fuck that movie!
I feel so conflicted.
Wait. Did Jerry Skyler
just take you down a notch?
Yes, and that is the whole point.
And I think you should go
for Lil' Brown Eyes.
- Huh?
- You're Chester.
What? No!
Come on. In the Venn diagram
of young black gay men
and people who use the word "egad,"
you are the only one in the middle.
I thought I got rid of all the egads.
Get rid of the hierarchy, Lionel.
You're only hurting yourself
if you think he's beneath you,
or that you're beneath him.
Don't turn that into some weird sex joke.
That was brillz. Just sit with it.
♪ It's in my head when it goes down ♪
♪ When it goes
When it goes ♪
♪ It's in my head ♪
You don't have to hide from me.
Based on what evidence?
That's fair.
♪ It's in my head
Where the demons lounge ♪
♪ Where the demons
Where the demons ♪
You ready?
Oh, shit.
I meant to ghost you.
I didn't think you'd be here.
Just kidding!
It's like the third pair of jeans
I've tried on.
Oh. You're just trying to get me
to look at your... pants.
Don't hate the play.
♪ It's in my head
Where the demons lounge ♪
I wonder if he was at that party.
The departure of Ms. Morgan from
The New Independent was imminent
due to leadership's inability
to get their act together.
Ms. Morgan's wisdom
promises a great future ahead.
A future filled with...
tenacity and...
journalistic integrity.
When I signed up for his class...
I don't know, I had no idea
things would get this hard.
I mean, I idolized him.
But things got...
They just got so weird, and...
he invited me over to his house, and...
I just felt like I had to.
I've been thinking about it, Coco,
and I wasn't okay with it, like...
I'm not okay with it.
Muffy, what do you want to do?
I don't know.
He's everybody's hero.
Moses is no hero of mine.
Certainly not after what he did to you.
Well, what do you think I should do?
Woo-hoo!
Your thoughts on the passage.
You know, why don't we all read it again
to ourselves,
in private, like, in our rooms?
Amen.
New Bible, who dis?
It's Chester.
Think Moonlight meets Sex and the City
but at Winchester
and boiling over with all the tea.
And with the political eroticism
of Mapplethorpe
plus the intrigue of Dangerous Liaisons.
Kelsey, why are you here?
Look, Pastor Kordell,
if this is about the lesbian thing,
I will see your Leviticus
and raise you an extremely vivid
1st Samuel, chapter 18.
No, no.
All are welcome
as long as we're reading scripture
and not pure, unadulterated...
smut.
Who... Who wrote this?
Give me my copy back.
Thank you.
I got to get to class.
♪ You haven't always had ♪
The rest of the people...
♪ The comfort of truth ♪
A night of adventure awaited me,
but first, a hot cup of joe
to fight off a cold, cold world.
Honey, though sweet, can be spicy
when used in the bedroom.
Other handy condiments include ketchup.
Are you finally doing your job
and managing The New Independent?
Didn't you hack in to run things
on your own?
What happened to you, Lionel?
Do you even care about the news?
No.
Balls!
Work it, work it!
Ooh. Looks like fun was had.
Why are you dressed like that?
Like I said, balls.
Can you be more specific?
There's a quarterly drag ball
at Rough Grade.
A chance for queens
to pull the sticks out their asses
that were rammed up there
by the professors.
- But not in a fun way.
- Is there a fun way to have...?
Oh. Of course there is.
You guys better order something.
How dare you!
My $75,000 tuition
paid for that espresso machine!
And your ratty apron.
Why wasn't I invited to this ball?
Oh, honey.
It just didn't seem like your thing.
This is the deep end of the gay pool
and you still got your little floaties on.
You got to dress up as Uhura
from Star Trek
and be celebrated for it.
That is exactly my thing!
- I told you we should've invited him.
- Oh.
You... You did?
Sweetie, does kindness surprise you?
To be honest, yes, it does.
And you took Sam!
But not me?
Young gay men with access to both
wigs and liquor
is dependably compelling.
Interesting alternative theory:
could Sam be Chester?
- Oh!
- I do not have the stamina,
but we get it, Michael,
you're obsessed with Chester.
- We all are.
- Of course I'm obsessed.
It's a highbrow exploration
of an oft-ignored community
with a pulp noir aesthetic.
It's also literary Viagra.
It operates on multiple levels.
Lionel, you write.
When?!
What do you think?
I think you have good taste.
Entirely too much time has passed
without mentioning me
or the fact that I won this.
Oh.
Was there a fight?
Yes, but that's not why it's broke.
This bitch slayed.
My category was realness of yore.
I was Marie Antoinasty.
And as soon as I hit the runway...
You know what? I'll just do it.
No one asked for an encore.
Do not encourage her!
Oh, don't be jealous, U-whore-a,
just 'cause you can't handle wearing heels
for more than 20 minutes.
Do not be mad 'cause I got
very convincing knock-off Gucci slides.
Listen up, you bougie motherfuckers!
Sashay the cafe, bitch!
As your job offers pour in
from Wall Street,
Silicon Valley,
and Voldemort...
remember, you have a choice.
Join King Louis and myself
by exploiting the proletariat
and eviscerating the middle class!
Or you can rise up,
take me to the guillotine,
and start a revolution!
Make life better for everyone,
including the real-life pier kids
whose culture you're appropriating
right now!
Excuse me, but we are not zoned
for live entertainment.
This part's my favorite.
No, seriously, we could get shut down.
- It's like an insurance...
- So let's be fierce
and tell Winchester what we want.
Let's run the government like we run
these cobblestone streets,
and that's when I broke the trophy.
I would have loved to see that.
You just did!
But without the sound of Brooke
turning life's simple joys
into tedious power struggles.
Bitch, I'm fun sometimes!
I can handle the deep end of the pool.
In that case,
you want to put on your scuba gear?
- Tomorrow night is...
- Oh!
- Another ball?
- Balls are involved.
But more on the deep...
deep...
deep end.
You dive?
Oh. What?
- That's what I thought.
- No! No. I'm in.
My water wings are off,
just me and my trunks.
Those will be off, too.
Okay.
Exciting.
I guess this proves Darwin's
theory of natural selection wrong.
...knock-off Gucci slides.
Listen up, you bougie motherfuckers!
Sanctimonious Christians.
Imagine knowing,
living,
feeling deep in your soul
you are your gender,
and the whole world just...
thinks you're...
An abomination.
That's how I'm treated
as a practicing Christian on campus.
You know, some of the greatest minds
in history were devout,
but suddenly there's...
there's no room for faith in academia.
Would headphones kill you?
[sighs.
What are you doing down here?
The room's free.
Oh. You and Reggie finally
wear each other out?
God, your abs must be so toned.
Yeah, and my quads.
- I had to give the whole body a break.
- Damn.
- God, I feel like a reality star!
- Oh.
Should I start a fight with someone?
Please, I'm sorry. Am I disturbing you?
I'll put headphones in.
Bitch, play the clip.
My worldview
hasn't been changed by Winchester,
but Winchester will be changed
by my worldview.
- God!
- Do you have another angle?
I'm sure you look vain in that one, too.
As long as I'm not being edited
to be the villain.
Don't Phaedra me.
You offered to flip a table.
That girl was young and naive.
This woman knows better now.
And if I'm going to get
Queensfield's recommendation,
I need to protect my brand.
Hey, Joe, can you use
your evolutionary biology minor
to explain why Co is so extra?
I mean, we're biologically wired
to find exotic people
to index ourselves against.
That's why we believe
Kim Kardashian's interesting.
Oh. So, how Co lives and dies
by the word of Queensfield,
even though he's just some old,
wrinkly white man with coffee breath...
Coffee breath would be a welcome reprieve
from the scent of children's tears
and meat burps.
I feel like pre-Sasha Fierce Beyoncé.
Perfect in every way,
yet still not good enough
for the relentless white masses.
- Yeah, that sounds right.
- Yeah, that tracks. Yeah.
I mean, can we ever
be good enough for them?
I want to be the first black woman
to get this fellowship,
but also I want there to be
a second and a third,
and I don't want them to go fucking nuts
because they're trying to balance
achieving their dreams
and making sure they're still palatable.
The girls, I mean.
Well, and also their dreams.
I mean, girls shouldn't have to wonder
if their dreams...
Is this a human 404 error?
- Co, are you okay?
- I don't know.
Ask me in a couple of days.
Hey, Co.
Maybe the second girl needs to see
the first girl do it without Queensfield.
Mmm.
Is that a new issue?
No, but I keep re-reading it
hoping Chester gets some satisfaction.
I mean, are all guys this wishy-washy?
Hot one minute, then cold the next,
then they get what they want
and jump onto the next thing,
whether it's another boy in the stacks
or a hot older tech genius
who used to work at Google.
I'm starting to think
we're not talking about Chester anymore.
You really should talk to Reggie.
We're not really in the "confrontation
and baring my soul" phase.
I'm still in the "pretending I like
wearing uncomfortable g-strings" phase.
[chuckles[ You know what's really great?
The "granny panty" phase.
Oh, can't wait.
Speaking of which, I got to go.
Well, get your little granny panties
out of here.
♪ Please on every motherfuckin' thing... ♪
- How much time do we have?
- Fifteen minutes.
Oh. How was your shift?
Oh. I got to scrape condoms
off the bar floor this afternoon.
- How's your day so far?
- Right now, fantastic,
but I am dreading my meeting
with Jerry Skyler tomorrow.
Well, I mean, he might say good things.
Oh, what?
Like, "Your film needs more thoughts"?
Please stop imitating
Jerry Skyler right now.
Okay.
I've stumbled onto something interesting
and I'm just not ready to have
my bubble burst
- when he doesn't get it, you know?
- Mm-hmm.
Plus, I've been way too distracted
thinking about a stupid pyramid.
Thought you and Lionel
were done with all that.
Yeah, well, like America's addiction
to white women in peril
running around in a dystopian future,
it won't go away.
What do pyramids make you think of?
Um...
- Egypt? Mummies?
- Mm-hmm.
- Uh-huh.
- Uh...
- Brendan Fraser in The Mummy?
- Oh, my God, he was so hot in that.
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
Yeah, well, so was Rachel Weisz
with that hot English accent.
Oh. Is that what does it for you?
Biscuits, Brexit, Parliament.
Yeah, it does.
But back on topic.
You know, pyramids are small on top and...
big on the bottom.
Like you.
Huh. Top...
up...
above you...
Joelle was saying something today
about leadership and celebrity,
how we enshrine them in stone.
Fuck, what was she saying?
Fuck, we really got to stop bringing up
other people during sex.
Okay.
Whoa. Cynthia Fray emailed me back.
Sam.
I just sent her a little
welcome to Winchester note.
"Hey, girl, how you been?
I disagree with the decision
of the faculty panel."
Supes profesh.
Okay.
And it looks like she agrees.
She was moved by my bold email.
Yeah, well,
boldness is your superpower.
It's also your Achilles' heel.
But we're going to focus on the positive.
You're two minutes late.
You know, you don't have to go to college
to be a prison guard.
What's the point?
Liar!
You pretended
you weren't like everyone else,
but you are like everyone else.
I'm just not ready for all this right now.
What about what I'm ready for?
You never even asked.
It's just only about what you want.
- That's not true.
- I told you that I wanted to go slow,
but no, you took advantage of me while
I was dealing with the horrific tragedy
of my mother getting pregnant
with a baby that she's very excited about.
Do you ever look back
at the people that you hurt?
Sometimes, if we've swapped nudes.
At least we have our friendship.
It takes two people to make a friendship,
Brooke,
and you can't have it
just because you want it.
- ♪ We're the 1%, the 1% ♪
- ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
The banality of this suburban abode
belies the backdrop for a bacchanal.
Turn a black light on this place,
and suddenly it's the set of NCIS:
Special Victims of Rock Hard Units:
Vancouver.
- ♪ The 1% ♪
- ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Bye-bye, 99
Bye-bye, bye-bye 99 ♪
♪ Bye-bye, 99
Bye-bye, bye-bye 99 ♪
♪ One, one, one, one, one, one ♪
♪ One, one, one, one, one, one ♪
♪ One, one, one, one, one, one ♪
♪ One, one, one, one, one, one ♪
And I've never been shy about my body.
I'm wearing my birthday suit
to gratify the lesser gods.
♪ Occupy the streets
Our glamour is elite ♪
♪ So average bitches, have a seat
Because we're too pretty to compete ♪
♪ You probably will delete
So sorry we'll defeat ♪
♪ 'Cause all y'all bitches obsolete ♪
♪ Better have your bitches wash my feet ♪
♪ Return to sender, keep receipts
We fly first class, you... ♪
No, Vanjie.
Those are for on the way out.
Don't make a rookie mistake.
What else am I going to do?
- This party's a little...
- Bitch.
Follow me.
♪ My sex is my weapon ♪
Of course the action's underground.
Like picking up a rock
and seeing hundreds of ants.
Try and bury the human libido
if you want.
Ooh. These two here? Hot.
Could be hotter if they added a third.
- ♪ My weapon ♪
- ♪ My sex is ♪
♪ My sex gonna fuck with no shame
My sex is... ♪
Lionel?
You sure you want to do this?
It's not everyone's jar of poppers.
♪ Not the church, not the state
My own faith ♪
♪ My sex got that... ♪
Yes, we have the chance
to reinvent human sexuality
without puritanical oversight,
but it's perfectly valid to just,
you know,
have a boyfriend and be basic.
The first one sounded better.
I already tried being basic
and I was boring.
Aww. Those are my bus condoms!
You are so proud of that bus.
Okay, well, you go have fun.
But if you see me,
do not approach, look at, or talk to me.
You are basically my younger,
less confident brother,
and incest fantasies
are where I draw the line
now that I've given up molly for Lent.
When is Lent again?
And is it over?
Never mind.
Got to go.
Boy, D...
he wanted a piece of this.
You could see it from space.
But me,
I needed to find a different black hole.
♪ My sex
My sex rules ♪
Come on, baby.
♪...tell you what to do ♪
♪ My sex
My sex rules ♪
Ah. The gay hello.
Ooh.
And he added a "how do you do."
Is there any possible way to just...
maybe have a conversation in here?
People don't come for the conversation.
They come for me.
Which side do you want?
Liberal or conservative?
I just want a boyfriend.
Doesn't anyone here just want
a fucking boyfriend?!
Not right now!
A note.
This isn't the place to find Mr. Right
unless you have
virtually no short-term memory.
What I mean is...
I get you.
This used to be fun.
But I think I keep coming here
for the conversation.
Are we at the same party?
Get community where you can.
But I'm ready for something new.
Usually I move with as little words
exchanged as possible,
but conversation with Lil' Brown Eyes
was blowing my mind.
Well, I...
hope you aren't leaving on my account.
It was a little extra in there.
Did you see the guy sucking himself off?
Yes! Yes!
Why even come to the party?
You clearly don't need anyone.
It is the epitome
of anti-social behavior.
You're funty.
And starving.
You want to grab some drunchies?
Talk more?
I try to avoid open-air hot wings
set next to a table of condoms and lube.
If only he didn't come
with so much baggage.
Uh...
I need some sleep.
Some other time?
Nah.
You're dead to me now.
What?
Peace!
Hey, bud.
God, Cynthia Fray is brilliant.
Aww, thank you.
You're a lifesaver, but I can't stay.
I'm super happy for you, babe.
If you decide to leave me for her,
uh, you know, I... I'll understand.
Well, if Professor Skyler asks,
tell him I'm sick.
Oh, no.
- Do you still want this?
- Mm-hmm.
- Bye.
- Bye.
The delivery estimate was 30 minutes.
I called Postmates.
You've already been fired.
Hi, Ms. Fray.
I'm Samantha White.
Of course you are.
I didn't know you lived here.
Just for a month.
Wow. You really moved in.
Interesting.
Oh. Thanks.
All they needed was permission
to show their whole racist asses.
I decided to use slow motion
to really capture the jubilation
in each face.
I thought it said so much.
Oh, yes.
I saw all the slow motion.
Ms. Fray,
thank you so much for meeting with me.
The department paired me with...
Jerry Skyler.
Oh, incredible.
Did he make you write a dissertation
about his last movie?
Mista Griggins Gets His Groove Back:
The Viagra Tales?
Hmm.
That movie made so much money.
You are a thousand times better.
Make Correct Decisions changed my life.
I... I had never seen anyone
who looked like me, talked like me,
filmed with so much love and artistry.
It is what I do.
So let's get to the main course.
Um...
I think I've stumbled onto
something cool, but I'm not quite sure.
I'm sure it's fine.
Okay.
Has your worldview changed
since coming to Winchester?
My worldview
hasn't been changed by Winchester,
but Winchester will be changed
by my worldview.
God, I feel like a reality star!
But more on the deep... deep end.
You can rise up.
Take me to the guillotine!
And start a revolution!
So,
- what was cool?
- Um...
Did you notice the...
edit between...
I guess I really don't know what to do.
It is very difficult
to make a documentary.
Well, do you have any thoughts
on this one?
None have yet been provoked.
Ah.
You've seen my films, right?
I can obviously see the influence.
I guess, but I really am
trying to do my own thing...
Perhaps if you stop trying to be me,
your problems will be cleared up.
Um...
Thanks for your... advice.
You know, some of the faculty
wanted us to meet.
Now I can say...
I did.
It's always nice to meet a fan.
Are we allowed to talk
without Joelle or...?
- How does this work?
- No.
And we are actually in violation
right now, so...
I'm kidding.
Okay.
Have you ever admired someone,
and then were pretty sure
you'd hit it off,
and then you get together,
and then the whole thing goes to shit?
And then stays awkward forever
until Joelle's around?
Oh, shit.
'Cause, see, I thought
I had changed the subject.
You ain't the only one with jokes.
We're fine.
We're friends.
I'm good.
Really.
Yeah, I haven't seen you smile
this much since...
I have never seen you smile this much.
Must be real nice to meet your hero
and not have them shit all over you.
Facts.
You know what?
I finally found my people.
And you will, too.
You know, I was really resistant,
but...
sometimes the things you resist
are just the things you need.
That's the sentiment of the day
on the app, isn't it?
It is.
It's also true.
Oh, hey.
How are you feeling?
I'm not sick. I lied.
Obviously.
I met with Cynthia Fray today.
Hmm.
How'd that go?
Not at all as I expected.
Yeah.
She used to be a hero to me, too.
Guess that's why they say
never meet your heroes.
But it did make it
that much more satisfying
to buy the island she vacationed on.
"Vacationed"?
Did you ban her?
I named it "Griggins Isle."
She never came back.
Wow. Rich people level trolling
is a compelling argument for selling out.
I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that.
Have a seat, Sam. If you don't mind.
I appreciate that you and Cynthia
make films in this beautiful,
like, Italian neorealist style,
and I get that I just took
the Chitlin' Circuit
and made it Hollywood-ready,
but Europeans invented your style.
Black people invented mine,
but I'm the sellout.
I shouldn't have been an asshole to you.
It's all right.
Faculty warned me about you.
The hell did they say?
That Sam would be an asshole to you.
But they also said she was
a really talented visual stylist,
and a very promising filmmaker
who just needed, like,
a little bit of guidance.
Look, what you don't need
is Cynthia "chasing her first movie" Fray
to tell you that you're good.
Let her be king crab, all right?
The rest of us crabs,
we're going to get out of this barrel,
but it's not going to be by looking up.
Okay? We got to...
Look around?
Yeah.
Like, you are surrounded by allies
the minute you decide to be.
So, tomorrow at 10:00, me and you?
Sam?
Yeah.
Yeah, sorry, I think you just helped me
figure something out.
Well, look at Gort!
Velma, I figured out the pyramid.
- I know, aliens.
- No!
I figured out what Bell Tower Bob
was saying, what it means, and...
Jerry Skyler helped me get there.
I have been thinking that one type
of storytelling is better than the other,
- but it's just... different.
- Hmm?
I am climbing this pyramid, Lionel,
because it's wired in me,
and I'm chasing
what I've been told is the best,
but when you look at the pyramid
from God's eye view, what do you see?
Aliens?
You see the whole thing.
Flat, same level.
Everyone connected by...
You look at the pyramid from above
and you see an X. Cute.
- And where does your eye take you?
- To the four corners... but...
We're all in this together.
Oh, God, I think that's the moral
of the last Mista Griggins movie.
The one called Mista Griggins: We're All In This Together?
Uhh. Fuck that movie!
I feel so conflicted.
Wait. Did Jerry Skyler
just take you down a notch?
Yes, and that is the whole point.
And I think you should go
for Lil' Brown Eyes.
- Huh?
- You're Chester.
What? No!
Come on. In the Venn diagram
of young black gay men
and people who use the word "egad,"
you are the only one in the middle.
I thought I got rid of all the egads.
Get rid of the hierarchy, Lionel.
You're only hurting yourself
if you think he's beneath you,
or that you're beneath him.
Don't turn that into some weird sex joke.
That was brillz. Just sit with it.
♪ It's in my head when it goes down ♪
♪ When it goes
When it goes ♪
♪ It's in my head ♪
You don't have to hide from me.
Based on what evidence?
That's fair.
♪ It's in my head
Where the demons lounge ♪
♪ Where the demons
Where the demons ♪
You ready?
Oh, shit.
I meant to ghost you.
I didn't think you'd be here.
Just kidding!
It's like the third pair of jeans
I've tried on.
Oh. You're just trying to get me
to look at your... pants.
Don't hate the play.
♪ It's in my head
Where the demons lounge ♪
I wonder if he was at that party.
The departure of Ms. Morgan from
The New Independent was imminent
due to leadership's inability
to get their act together.
Ms. Morgan's wisdom
promises a great future ahead.
A future filled with...
tenacity and...
journalistic integrity.
When I signed up for his class...
I don't know, I had no idea
things would get this hard.
I mean, I idolized him.
But things got...
They just got so weird, and...
he invited me over to his house, and...
I just felt like I had to.
I've been thinking about it, Coco,
and I wasn't okay with it, like...
I'm not okay with it.
Muffy, what do you want to do?
I don't know.
He's everybody's hero.
Moses is no hero of mine.
Certainly not after what he did to you.
Well, what do you think I should do?
Woo-hoo!