Deadly Cults (2019–…): Season 1, Episode 2 - Kirtland Murders - full transcript

One body at a time.

Firemen carried the five out
of the barn tonight.

Each of them had been shot

multiple times.

She thought there was
a cult over there.

I wanted to be loved.

It was like...

camp.

He claimed to have

seen an angel.

I mean, it's possible.



He was going to behead people.

He said that they would
have to be killed.

If you go in that barn,

you will find bodies.

I believed that he was
the prophet, and you do

what the prophet says.

Nothing like this had ever

happened in Kirtland before.

Nothing like this had ever

happened
in Lake County before.

It's not the kind of place
where you expect

any major crime to happen.

Most of the crimes we had
were thefts,

burglaries,
nothing very substantial.



Violent crimes were your
bar fights and a few domestics.

It's the kind of place

where everyone knows
everyone else.

And so the reaction
in the community

was shock and-and horror

that this had taken place.

New Year's Eve of 1989,

we got a phone call
from the ATF in Kansas City,

and the agent told us
they had information

that there were five bodies

buried in a barn
on Chardon Road.

They faxed us a copy
of the drawing,

and it showed that
the grave was located

in the northeast corner
of the barn.

That night, we,
went to the barn.

We walked in through
the main door.

There was only a small path
because the whole west side

of the barn was stacked
with garbage.

As I walk around, I notice

there was some bed framing.

They had some pieces
of dry clay on them,

and I said,
"Someone's been digging here."

So the chief and myself

and members of
the Kirtland Fire Department,

we clean out the area

where the grave
was supposedly located.

Get rid of some of this stuff.

It was cold and it was foggy.

Police lines were up.

There were a lot of people
coming and going, um...

The prosecutor's team showed up.

When we walked through the barn

the next day,
it was filled with trash

piled, like,
three or four feet high.

Well, they discovered

that underneath
all of this trash,

it was a dirt floor,

and sure enough,

there was a big rectangle

that was spongy and looked like
somebody had dug it up

not all that long ago.

So we start
digging up the dirt,

and as we're shoveling,

there's a foul smell
of, decomposition.

Once they started digging,

it didn't take long before they

were getting that smell.

They called it the odor
of death. It's, um...

it's really more like
rotten meat, and...

it... you don't forget it
once you've smelled it.

Wait a minute.Okay.

Watch your shovel
right there.

That should be
right here.

They were, maybe,
three feet deep,

and they discovered the body

of a man.

I think his head's that way.Yeah.

And as they worked,

they discovered
one body after another.

They found

an adult female body

and two children's bodies.

And then the third child

was the last one
they discovered.

- One body at a time.
- Slowly, paramedics and firemen

carried the five
out of the barn tonight.

It took about eight hours
for local police

and federal agents to dig
through the floor of the barn

and exhume the bodies.

We had five bodies
but no positive I.D.

The bodies were
very deteriorated.

They had been covered
with lime for a long time.

But they still had duct tape
over their heads,

and their hands
had been duct-taped together,

and their feet had been
duct-taped together.

And each of them

had been shot multiple times.

I had to contact
the Lake County School Board

to find out who the physicians
or dentists were

to try and get medical records.

The victims were Dennis Avery,
his wife Cheryl,

and their three girls.

They came over one time

when they first moved in,
and that was about it.

The Averys were described
as being guarded,

very secluded.

The Avery family

did not live at the farm.

They did have a rental house
that they lived in,

and they came to Kirtland

from Missouri.

You would look at them and say,

"This is all-American family."

You know, the... people
working middle-class jobs,

being consistent
and productive members

of their faith
and in their communities.

They came looking

for something that they felt
was missing in their lives.

They were people of faith,

they wanted to belong
to something,

and that's how they ended up,
I believe, with Jeff Lundgren,

a self-ordained prophet.

Jeff came here primarily to...

work at the Kirtland Temple
for the RLDS church,

which is the Reorganized Church

of Jesus Christ
of Latter Day Saints.

The Kirtland Temple is iconic

because the community
came together

for the very first time
and built this structure,

and it remained
a symbol of our faith.

I think what
the followers had in common

was they all
were people of faith.

They all had been
members of the Church

of Latter Day Saints,
but they had all

concluded they wanted
to be in a different,

more conservative
religious environment.

My name is Debbie Kroesen.

I grew up in the,
um, RLDS church,

known as the Reorganized Church

of Jesus Christ
of Latter Day Saints.

It was my mother's religion,
her mother's religion.

So religion was a big part
of my life.

It was probably
the most significant part.

Jeff's mother and my mother
were sisters.

And that's how I heard that he
started holding Bible studies

at the Kirtland Temple in Ohio.

I mean, he was a huge
scriptural studier.

Each of these people,
who turned into

a devoted follower of his,

was at a time in their life

when their life was just
overwhelming to them.

I was working in manufacturing.

A lot of plants were closing,

others had massive layoffs,
and...

and I had bounced
from one to another,

and I just felt a-a little lost.

I wanted to get away
from it all.

I had just gotten divorced.
My grandfather had died.

I was in debt up
to my eyeballs, and I figured

nobody else would ever
want to marry me.

The Averys sold their house

and moved to Kirtland,
and they gained

about $19,000
from the sale of their house.

So they had the $19,000
when they came to Lake County,

and that's what
they were going to use

to live on
until they could find a job.

These were good people.

They weren't monsters.

And I think one of the reasons
they were vulnerable is because

they needed someone to follow.

My grandmother had suggested

to see my cousin Jeff
and his wife Alice.

And...

when I drove across
the Ohio state line,

I thought I had
a spiritual experience.

I, felt this huge weight
lift off my shoulders.

Jeff invited
my wife Kathy and myself

to come out and visit.

And we were poor at the time,

and they said,
"Well, you can stay with us,

and there won't be
any expense here."

And so we took them up
on the offer.

When we got there, it wasn't

just Jeff and his wife
and their four children.

There were other adults that
were living on the property,

and everybody got along
really well.

They were happy,
they laughed, they joked.

It was like... camp.

Lundgren was manipulating
a certain

core group
that was around him...

...within the congregation,

and he's forwarding
his own teachings

that don't reflect anything

that-that looks like
traditional RLDS thinking.

He's forwarding something
that's very hate-filled.

Those in my group

who would not follow,

who would forsake
the right way...

it says they were to be killed

and that the Lord commanded
such a thing to be done.

He kept staring at me,

saying nothing.

I told the chief of police,

"Something is strange
over there,

"and Jeffrey Lundgren appears
to be afraid of the police.

Something's going on there."

I think the Kirtland community

took a long time to heal
after this.

I think that there are members
of the community that felt

there might have been something
they could have done

to prevent the Averys
from being killed.

The killing of the Averys

weighed on me more
than some of the other crimes

that I had reported,

because I knew
the police officers very well.

It's a small-town
police department,

because it was just
these four guys.

They were on their own.

All of a sudden,
you're confronted with

a multiple-murder case,

and you're trying to think of
everything that has to be done.

I still think I was...
I'm missing something.

This is the latter part
of April, 1988.

We got a call
about some loose geese

in the backyard of a lot
adjacent to Lundgren's lot.

And I talked to the lady,
and she told me that she saw

a lot of people
over there constantly

and they kept to themselves.

She thought there was
a cult over there.

At that point in time,
I didn't know anything

about a cult.

So I went to Jeffrey Lundgren's
house to investigate.

I went to the front door,
and Jeff's wife, Alice,

answered the front door, and I
told her about the complaint.

She told me that the geese
belonged to the-the landlord

and she would contact him.

So, when I left, I looked up,

and I realized Jeff was at
the corner of the barn,

staring at me.

He kept staring at me,
saying nothing.

I told the chief of police

that something is strange
over there,

that Jeffrey Lundgren appears
to be afraid of the police.

I go,
"Something's going on there."

This is a peaceful church,

and Jeff Lundgren completely
violated that

in his teachings,
the way he was

manipulating people,
and all of that contributed

to church leaders at that time
excommunicating him.

Jeff was really unhappy
with the church leaders.

And when they asked him
to leave the church,

I realized the church

was in apostasy or...

going to hell in a handbasket.

And that meant that there
had to be a prophet,

and so I believed
that Jeff was the prophet.

It's a church
that believes in prophets,

that has prophets.

Prophets are among us even now.

For them,
it was a familiar path.

And you do
what the prophet says.

Jeff would hold class
almost every day.

He had a vast knowledge
of the Bible,

and we were all desperately
looking to do God's will.

Jeff had taught that

you couldn't talk to God unless
you talked "chiastically."

He came up with a method
of interpreting the Bible

called "chiasm,"

which was something he had
stumbled across somewhere.

I mean, he didn't invent it.

What you do is you take
the first line

of the passage
that you are studying

and the last line
of the passage

that you are studying,
and read those together.

You do it that way, and, boy,

you can make it say
anything you want, which he did.

Jeff was really unhappy
with the church leaders,

and so he disassociated
from the church altogether.

He couldn't be a guide anymore,

and he couldn't live in a house
supplied by the church,

so that's why he and his group
ended up moving

to the farm outside
of Kirtland.

And that's why he was angry.

As time went along,

the classes that Jeff taught
every evening

began to change.

In one evening, he spoke
about military tactics,

which seemed...

...really strange to me.

And that definitely
put us all in the mind-set of

"there will be war."

One day,
when the Lord wants his house,

no power will stay his hand.

So, taking over the temple

would be vengeance for...

demeaning the true prophet.

Jeff had amassed
quite an arsenal.

He had a lot of guns.

He had a.50-caliber rifle.

Now, that is huge.

I mean,.50 calibers
is a big bullet.

You know, if you've been
around guns for a while,

that makes you uneasy.

And they planned
not just to kill people,

but he was going
to behead people.

Because when they had fired him

from his job at the temple,

they had taken the keys
from the prophet.

Taking over the temple

also would be a test

of the cult members,
because if they would do that,

if they would
participate in that,

then he would have
engaged them in activity

that they would have to live
with the rest of their lives.

There would be no escaping him

if they followed through
on that.

Shar was one
of two people who left Jeff,

but she had two of her friends
still in the cult,

and she wanted the police
to rescue them

before anything happened
to them.

One day,
when the Lord wants his house,

no power will stay his hand.

Ron Andolsek

was really concerned

about the cult

and what he thought
might be going on at the farm.

But he couldn't put
his finger on it,

so he went to...

surveil the house
and other things.

We started
to stake out the farmhouse,

but nothing happened.

They all had jobs. They would
leave in the morning,

go to work, return home,
have dinner.

There was nothing substantial.

Different people were affected
in different ways.

I know Ron Andolsek suffered

a great deal.

He was an insomniac,
so he would often

walk the streets
of the village at night.

And he took to doing it
every night,

because he wanted to be sure

that nothing terrible
was happening.

I was so afraid
that something would go wrong,

we wouldn't get the evidence.

I still think
I was missing something.

And I can't explain
why I think that.

No idea what that is.

None of it got him anywhere.

In September of 1988,

we got a call from an informant
named Shar.

Shar was one
of two people who left Jeff,

but she had two of her friends
still in the cult,

and she wanted the police
to rescue them

before anything
happened to them.

"Cleansing the vineyard" was
a term that was used by Jeff.

It means killing the people
in the church-owned homes

adjacent to
the Kirtland Temple.

Jeff was fired from

his teaching position
at the RLDS church

because his teachings

were inconsistent with
the beliefs of the RLDS church.

So that was the first time
I heard about

the Kirtland Temple takeover.

The idea is actually

to kill people?

Definitely.

At that point,
I wanted federal help,

and a couple days later,

an agent came out,

and I explained the case
to him.

As a result of that,
the FBI decided to amass

some agents together
with our department

and confront the cult members.

There was about 18 FBI agents
and four of us.

The plan was they were
going to do interviews

to hopefully get probable cause
for an arrest warrant.

They split up all
the members individually

and interviewed them.

And they got nothing,

because every single one
of the members of that group

were terrified.

And did any
law enforcement officer

talk to you at that time?

Yes, sir.

The, FBI interviewed me.

They asked if,

I had knowledge that,

Jeff was going to take over
the Kirtland Temple.

My response to that was "no."

Either, I told
an outright lie,

wasn't giving...
didn't give direct answers.

See, we were told what to say
and what not to say.

And after the...

Who told you this?Jeff.

So we said he was
a very peaceable man

and that kind of thing,
and then they just let us go.

Upon completion of the
interviews at the farmhouse,

the FBI decided there was

insufficient probable cause

for arrest warrants
or a search warrant.

So we walked away with nothing.

They found nothing to help them
continue any investigation.

There were supposed to be signs
in the heavens,

and all kinds of things.

And when all these pieces
of the puzzle fell into place,

- ... that it was time
to redeem temple.

- Okay, so, in fact,

the plan wasn't
totally scrapped.

It was just that
the time had not yet come.

- I know.

- Actually, I think
Jeff figured,

well, if the FBI and the ATF
and the Kirtland Police

show up at our house,

that means they must
know something.

And we gotta
skedaddle outta here.

- He indicated to the group
that he wanted everyone

to pack their clothes
and their bags,

and that we would leave
for the wilderness.

- Based on the scriptures
from Enoch,

people were to go
into the wilderness,

and the church was supposed to
come out of the wilderness.

- At some point, as the
time to leave Kirtland

drew closer and closer,

Jeff said he had been
reading

and the scriptures had
called for a sacrifice.

Had to be a
blood sacrifice.

- And what that required
was a sacrifice,

or the death of
a person or persons.

- And that act
had to transpire

so that we could go
into the wilderness

and immediately
see God.

- During this time,
Jeff started teaching

that a third of the world was
made to live with Christ,

a third of the world would
have to fight for that,

and a third of the world
was made to be destroyed.

I believe there were
30 of us at the time.

And so that meant that
a third of our group

would be destroyed.

- We couldn't see the Lord,
the people who had sinned,

and so those
would be...

done away.

And, um--

- 'Kay, what-what did
you mean, done away?

- Killed.

- Jeff said that he found it
in the scriptures,

and so there wasn't
any discussion.

- They couldn't
talk to each other,

because talking to each
other was "murmuring"

and rebellious,
and therefore sinful.

- You had to completely
give yourself over to Jeff,

and basically
become a puppet.

- They just turned over
responsibility for thinking,

responsibility for
their lives... to him.

- Jeff had made up a list
of people who-who,

needed to be sacrificed.

And no one knew if their name
was on the list or not.

- We knew very well it
could be either one of us

or someone of our family.

No one really knew
who was gonna end up

in that hole for sure.

- I didn't know if we were
on the list to be destroyed.

- Um, I had a suspicion
that I would

be one of those
that was executed.

- I remember Jeff
bringing the Averys out

and saying to them,
"If you don't repent,

"you're gonna die."

- Each one of them
was very afraid

for his or her
own life.

Anyone who
had children

was afraid for their
children's lives.

- I was scared.

You know, I didn't have
any way to protect my family.

You know, couldn't run,
couldn't hide.

- I knew that if any of the men
had ever questioned him,

he would shoot you
in a heartbeat.

- Did you ever see him point
this weapon at anybody?

- Yes, I did.

- And who did
he point it at?

After the FBI decided there was

insufficient probable cause

for arrest warrants
or a search warrant,

police started to stake out
the Kirtland Temple

for a few days,

but nothing happened.

So I continued the surveillance

of the farmhouse myself
to find out

more details
concerning the cult.

I was getting photographs,

license plate numbers,
stuff like that.

People at the time were saying
that I was being compulsive,

but I was worried that

there was something about
the case that I've missed.

They were on their own
again, these four guys,

trying to keep an eye on things,

hoping against hope
that something terrible

wasn't going to happen.

And I think that the people
who stayed with the cult

were, at that point, convinced
that Jeff was so powerful

that even if they left,
he would find them

and he would punish them
for that decision.

One of his favorite
sayings was,

if we left the group,

we would die,
"because I will come after you."

Whenever Jeff would teach
a class, he would,

keep a loaded gun on the table,

pointing out
towards his audience.

And I knew
that if any of the men

had ever questioned him, he
would shoot you in a heartbeat.

Did you ever see him point
this weapon at anybody?

Yes, I did.

And who did he
point it at?

I almost feel
like the Avery family,

from the very beginning,
were marked by Jeff

for something bad to happen,
because they were

not as close to the fold
as everyone else.

Dennis Avery was very meek,

and I guess Jeff didn't
like Dennis, because he said

he was a miserable excuse
for a man.

Cheryl was a rather
enthusiastic supporter

of what Jeff was teaching.

Cheryl was determined
to be part of the group.

There was a sense
of camaraderie with

those of us who we knew
it was okay to be comrades with.

Um, unfortunately,
that wasn't the Averys.

I think Jeff came
to a point where he decided,

you know, it's necessary to
follow through on these threats

"because if I don't,
they're gonna start to think

that there's nothing to them."

Nobody knew
what was really gonna happen,

and then he started having, um,

them clean out this area
in the barn.

He had,

some of us out digging a hole
in-in-in the barn for...

a grave, he said.

So there were different people
that did do the digging.

I did, Dennis did,
Keith did,

and, Richard Brand,
Damon Lundgren,

and also Greg Winship

assisted in the digging
and preparing of this hole.

- What size was the hole?
- Do you recall?

It was about 36 inches deep.

Maybe a little more.

40 inches or so in some places,
perhaps, and it was,

maybe eight foot
by eight foot.

While we were digging,
I was scared

and didn't know...
you know...

I thought I might be digging

my own grave, you know?

Jeff wanted everyone to meet
for dinner that night and said

the fog at the farm
was blood red.

Which, you know,
what does that mean?

Were we being summoned
to be part of a sacrifice?

What were we being
summoned for?

That's kind of the feeling,
you know, we got.

So everybody was there,
and-and it was really crowded.

And children were playing
video games and...

I... I think, intuitively,

I knew something
was going to happen.

And so,

I thought to myself, "Is-is this
really," you know, "happening?"

And...

then...

Me and my family,
you know, we were

sent away.

The house got really quiet,

and I looked out to the front
room and all the men were gone,

except for

Dennis Avery.

And then

Ron Luff came in the house
and said that he needed,

Dennis Avery's help out
in the barn, and I realized,

"My gosh, it's happening."

Susan and Sharon and I

get up the dishes

and put away the leftovers,
and, um...

then Ron Luff came in the house
and said that he needed,

Dennis Avery's help
out in the barn.

And Dennis and Cheryl Avery
stood there for a few minutes

debating on whether he should
wear his glasses or not

because it was
very, very foggy.

I mean,
fog you couldn't see through.

It was just, um,

unreal.

Okay, now, you want to
go step by step, okay,

...on what
proceeded then.

I went in and I told Dennis
he was needed in the barn,

and when he walked
through the door,

the others jumped in
and did their tasks,

as far as taping the feet
or taping the hands

or putting tape over the mouth.

He was more or less
wrestled to the ground.

His hands and his feet
were taped,

and then,
his mouth was taped.

He was kicking
and-and struggling.

He wasn't a real strong man,
so,

the five of us didn't have
too much of a problem.

Where was Jeff?He was standing
at the edge of the hole.

Did he have anything
in his hand?

He had a.45, auto handgun.

Okay, and who was in the
room, except you and him?

Richard-Richard Brand was there,
Greg Winship was there,

Damon Lundgren was there,
Danny Kraft was there.

Danny and I carried
Dennis Avery, to the pit

where Jeff was waiting for us.

After Danny and I put him
in the pit,

Danny and I ran to the door
to get out of the room.

Right as we started
to push the door open,

I heard a chain saw.

Greg was running
the chain saw

while the shootings
were occurring.

What kind of noise did
you hear at that time?

- I don't know, it was kind of...
- loud.

And it was to cover up
the noise.

And, I heard a gunshot.

Okay, what happened
then, next?

I went in and got the next one.

And then he came back.

He came back,
and what did he...?

And he got, Mrs. Avery.

Do you know
where they went?

No.

Okay.They just went out.

And, when the guys
moved toward her,

I told her, I said,
"Just let it go."

I saw him aim

and pull the trigger
and I saw her go like this.

Okay, what did, um...

What did you do next?

After we walked around, then...

...he said,
"Okay... bring in the next one."

And I was watching
the kids play.

And then he came and got the...

...the older girl,
Trina's the oldest.

I stated with, with the kids...

I said,
"There's no need for them

"to know anything
that's transpiring.

It'll just be done like a game."

And so, when I brought Trina
into the barn,

I just said, "Well,
now we're gonna play a game."

And he pointed the gun,
shot the gun,

then he shot again.

Ron went in
and got, Becky.

It was the same situation;
it was played like a game.

I carried her in.

Ron went into the house,

brought Karen out.

I think he was giving her
a piggyback ride.

I brought her in.

And...

and then I left the room.

About how old
was this girl?

Do you recall?

Probably about five.

Short while later, Jeff came in.

And he said, um... "It is done."

And I think the reason Jeff

sent me back instead
of including me in the,

the people
who would be involved,

was because I had
told him earlier

that, I wasn't gonna be
a part of killing anyone.

You know, unless they were
trying to kill us.

On April 18,
I went to the farmhouse.

There were no cars there,
no lights on.

The farmhouse was vacant.

It was obvious that the cult

had abandoned the property

and had no intentions
of returning.

I think the motivation
for murdering them was,

Jeff intended to...

increase and cement
his control of the cult.

But first they were gonna have
to take care of the Averys

because they were part of what
was bringing the group down.

After the murder
of the Averys...

I was devastated.

We ended up in West Virginia
on some coal mining land.

This was where we were supposed
to see God.

But the basic tone was...

I think we were all in shock.

That... something had happened.

And, then I realized that

I thought I'd turned my life
over to God...

and God just turned out
to be a man that was

really mentally ill.

These were people who had

turned their lives
over to someone.

And, and he betrayed them.

Not only had he
promised them something

that he couldn't make happen,

he had them do
something terrible

that they'll have to live with
the rest of their lives.

That's when I realized

that I have to go
to the authorities.

We went to the local police.

Downtown Kansas City.

Went in and...

and I gave 'em,
my statement.

And I said,
"If you go in that barn

and look where
I told you to look,"

I said, "You will find bodies."

As early as 7:00
this morning, Kirtland,

Lake County, and federal
authorities were on the scene.

They cleared out the barn
while beginning

an intense search for bodies.

One body at a time,

paramedics and firemen
carried the five

out of the barn tonight.

An informant told
federal authorities

in Kansas City last week

exactly where the bodies
were buried.

Johnson's the man
who initially informed police

about the killing
of the Avery family.

Beyond the person
arrested last night,

two more turned themselves in
to federal agents today.

They are Richard Brand
and Gregory Winship.

Members of the cult,

once they almost returned
to sanity

and said, "You know, this is
a really bad situation.

"I'd do anything I can
to make it better.

So, yeah, I am going
to the authorities."

We talked with one another,

and then we went to the police.

Because I can't live with this.

Virtually every member of
the cult turned themselves in.

The only ones
who were not doing that

were Jeff and Alice and Damon.

We had no idea
where they had gone to,

so ATF in Kansas City
started looking for them.

So, next time Damon went to the
phone to call his grandmother,

they had surveillance on him,

and they followed him
back to the motel,

and they made the arrests
of Damon Lundgren,

Alice Lundgren,
and Jeff Lundgren.

They were able to grab him,
put him on the ground,

and the ATF agent

put his weapon to Jeff's ear
and said,

"Jeffrey Lundgren, you are
under arrest for murder."

They sprung a trap, caught him,

and, arrested everyone.

I knew,
when I got arrested, that

I didn't have a clue who I was.

I didn't know
what my beliefs were.

I didn't know
what my thoughts were,

let alone who or what I was.

I was convicted of five counts
of conspiracy

to commit aggravated murder,

and that held, um, a sentence
of seven to 25 years.

I did 21 years.

I never thought
I'd end up in a cult.

Once I was there,

I didn't know how to extract
myself and my family.

How easy is it to fall
into something like this?

It's-it's really easy.

Judge Parks proceeded
to sentence Lundgren to death,

with a string of phrases to
match the horror of his deeds.

The calculated depravity
of murders.

The children whose lives
had barely begun.

When Jeff was executed,

it was just kind of like, okay,
you know, it's-it's over now.

When Jeff was executed,
I said, "Excellent. Good.

Finally, that's done."

One of the lasting impacts

of the Kirtland cult killing
was an awareness that,

that there are people who will
bend others to their will,

and there are people
who can be bent that way.

The case was so unique...

...involving so many people

to kill a family
over a belief system

concocted by a cult member.

Karen was six years old.

Yeah, those three children,
you know, were just

true victims.

They were not part
of Jeff's cult.

The parents were.

Yay.

Everybody needs to have
some kind of a spiritual

or religious foundation,
a belief system.

Some higher power
to have faith in.

And Jeff provided
that-that conduit,

that fictitious conduit,

to the cult members,
to where they felt

he was a connection to God
and he had the power.

I dreamt there had been
this horrific rainstorm,

and this deluge of water
that was going, and...

and so, I was running
just as fast as I could,

and I felt somebody reach up
and grab my hand.

And, I-I looked down,
and it was Karen Avery.

And she looked up at me
and said,

"Why didn't you try
to save me?"

And, um,

I woke up just sobbing,

um...

because I did nothing
to try to save her.