Dead Like Me (2003–2004): Season 2, Episode 8 - The Escape Artist - full transcript

I've never belonged to a club.

I mean, I get them, I just don't want to be in them.

Like book clubs.

"Hey, check out how smart we are. We can read."

Shut up, already.

And bicycle clubs. What's that about?

One guy in a bad outfit, you're a tool.

Four guys in the same goofy shirt, suddenly, you're the shit?

Give me a break.

My parents always told me to join some club at school,

any club at all, just pick a card,



but I didn't, and then a club finally picked me.

I don't think this is what my parents had in mind.

- Did you rob a grave or something?
- No.

I was combing through somebody's garbage looking for their credit card receipts.

That's teriyaki sauce. Here, smell.

Not while I'm eating.

Well, your fingernails could use a little spa time.

Aw, thanks.

Not while I'm eating.

Oh, bloody hell.

Sorry, I didn't think you would do that at the table.

I can't win with you people, can't I?

You're moaning about my personal hygiene.

You're going on about my etiquette.



I can't fucking win.

Mason, if you weren't a reaper, where would you be right now?

Dead.

- But if you weren't dead.
- I'd be dead.

I'd be back in college,

a sophomore.

It's enough to make you glad you're dead.

It's too early for this crap. We're moving.

We've ordered.

They'll figure out. They're really smart here. Let's go.

What can I get for you?

Nothing, Kiffany, thank you.

- You're not ordering breakfast today?
- No, I've had breakfast.

Where did you eat?

Hungry Pete's, just down the street.

Escape from routine, it is good for the soul.

How was it?

Awful.

Never going back.

A ticket to Cancun, first class? Are you shitting me?

There's a post-it on it, dumb ass.

If you are putting me on a plane that's going down, I swear to god--

I can't swim, Rube. That's not funny.

There's one post-it each.

Odds are there are more than two people on that plane.

Odds are if the plane goes down, everyone's going to die.

Odds are that plane ain't going down.

President of the math club?

Just smarter than Mason.

- Really?
- Well, look at you...

What's the Montgomery club?

Old-line country club, beautiful golf course, old money, big money.

Money money.

Don't get lost on the green.

She gets a vip reap last week, and this week...

Montgomery club? It's just not fair.

Well, that's not my call.

Humor me?

Give yourself extra time.

See how that other half lives.

Isn't that what I've been doing?

Nothing for me today?

No, nothing for you today.

What's yours?

Me, I've got a 1019 West Slane street outside room 216.

Sounds like a hotel. Maybe a murder.

Maybe.

I'm kind of in the mood for a murder.

What is this?

That, my dear, is the very same organic whole grain banana nut bread

that won me a blue ribbon

at the New Mexico state fair in 1975.

Why were you in New Mexico?

I was managing a llama ranch outside of Santa Fe.

It smells bad.

Are you always so afraid of trying something new?

If I think it came out of a llama's butt.

Fine.

Be a conformist.

Have Cap'n Crunch.

Mom never told me she lived on a llama ranch.

That's because mom never did.

Your mom was in the seventh grade

while her mom was 800 miles away spreading her wings.

Santa Fe was so beautiful.

You and your sister would have loved it.

I want to go.

Honey, my life is filled with stories.

Stories don't happen to people who just stay inside.

- Reggie, go get ready for school.
- I want to hear more stories.

After school.

Did you know that your grandmother once did time?

- You were in jail?
- Mom...

Did you steal something?

I was in jail because Richard Nixon was a liar and an asshole.

All right. Reggie? Now.

- That so does not work for me.
- What?

I can't listen to you tell story after story about your selfishness

and then call it a life philosophy.

I was a concerned american citizen.

I wanted the White House to hear my voice.

I was 11. I wanted a ride home from school.

So tell me, Joy, did you get home from school that day?

You cannot, in front of an impressionable child,

brag about going to jail.

She's 12. She can handle it.

She's 11,

and that's not your call.

So are you picking me up after school, grandma?

Absolutely.

Okay. Bye.

We'll have an adventure, something weird.

Cool.

Little girls love adventures.

At least, most of them do.

You run away your whole life,

and then you parade it around you like a badge of honor.

It's just beyond me.

I don't run away. I run towards.

Oh, pretty.

Why don't you needle-point that on a pillow for me, huh?

- It's not my thing.
- No.

You don't stick around anywhere long enough to do that kind of project, do you?

I invited you to Italy. You said no.

Mother, you don't invite a fourth grader to Italy.

You either take them or you don't. Right?

I mean, make a fucking choice.

- I'm not that girl.
- Not what girl?

The girl Clancy is sleeping with.

Stop taking it out on me.

- Where are you going?
- Away from you.

I guess when you want to run away from your life,

you just make a break for it and hope no one's looking.

Hey, Reggie.

Imagine yourself on the island of Komodo,

face to face with the terrifying dragon that roams its shores.

That's a Komodo dragon?

Yeah, I'm showing my dragon to several classes this morning.

Would you like to be my assistant?

What do I have to do?

Just stand there and look pretty.

- Can I touch it?
- Don't be absurd.

The Komodo dragon is a dangerous carnivore.

He'll eat you like you're a piece of turkey baloney,

which, in case you're all curious, is his favorite.

- What's his name?
- Frodo.

- Who?
- Like the hobbit.

- Have you been dead for the last 6 years?
- Seven.

I'm not going to hurt him. I just want to pet him.

Frodo hurting you is the more likely scenario.

So, Reggie, do you want to be my assistant?

Mrs. Brody said I could pick anybody.

- Sure.
- Yes!

- Goldilocks likes you.
- His name is Francis.

Please put it somewhere safe.

This dent happened the last time I was here.

May I help you?

I'm looking for information on the intra-country club women's golf league.

We don't have an intra-country club women's golf league.

Which is why I'm here, to talk to someone about getting one started.

Miss, this is a private club.

I was told to ask for a...

T. Hesburgh?

I'm very sorry, miss.

Members only.

Well, Hesburgh invited me here,

and now I'm here,

so if you want to turn me away, that's on you, dear sir,

but Hesburgh won't like it. Heads could roll.

Roll.

She can sit with me.

Very good, sir.

I...I know mr. Hesburgh.

He's out on the back nine. You can take a seat if you want.

That's very nice of you. Thank you.

Cute.

A little country clubby, but cute.

I'm Trip.

Of course you are.

I'm George.

As in Georgia?

George. That's a cute nickname.

It's not a nickname... Trip.

So...

why do you need to see mr. Hesburgh?

It's... personal.

Since we're pretending to know each other,

let's pretend to like each other, too.

Well, you see, the truth is, Trip,

I'm a process server.

He's being sued.

Bummer.

I work for mr. Hesburgh.

Oh.

Maybe you're a troublemaker too.

Maybe I'd better steer clear.

Okay, you do that.

Children.

- This isn't a hotel. It's a school.
- I can see that.

Hi, buddy.

- Tell me, where's room 216?
- Go fuck yourself.

Kids have changed, huh?

Well, it's a school, so there are numbers on the doors.

I can see that. Don't talk to me like I'm a third grader.

Let's go, you're late. You're going to get whipped.

Come on. Let's go.

You have fun, now.

Oh, no, no, no, you're coming with me.

- Why?
- Cause you can talk to third graders.

They're going to take the electric chair to you.

You know what's going to happen to you?

Well, I actually write for his newspaper,

so I have to ask the key question.

Why is he being sued?

The paper libelled someone.

- They defamed someone's character?
- That's the same thing as libel.

The paper boy kept throwing someone's paper in the bushes?

That must be it.

Well, you sure are a pretty process server.

Maybe I'm lying.

Maybe I'm really here for some other reason.

Well, I don't know anything about you.

No, you don't.

Except that you are lying about why you're here.

Right.

Is your name really George?

Yes. You're trip?

Yes.

Ivy league?

Yale. You?

Dropout. Siblings?

Sister. You?

Sister.

- You live alone?
- No.

- Guy?
- Actress.

- Successful?
- No.

- So, you're rich?
- Trust fund.

- You have pets?
- Frog.

- Frog?
- Frog.

Amphibian. Interesting.

Favorite food?

Waffles. Favorite place?

Right now?

Here.

- Really?
- Yeah.

- You lying?
- No.

- Money or fame?
- Money.

- Money or immortality?
- Money.

Money or love?

Money.

Liar.

Do you have a girlfriend?

Do you have a boyfriend?

- Are you lying?
- Not about that.

- Breakfast or dinner?
- Brunch.

- That was an invitation.
- Oh.

Um...dinner, I guess.

Dinner it is, then.

Okay, Francis, are you and your dragon all set?

Yeah, I think so.

- And Reggie's your assistant, right?
- Yeah.

Who are you?

- Are you from miss McDermott's class?
- Yeah. I'm class monitor.

Okay, it's fine.

Francis, since we've got the komodo to show, I think we should--

just a second.

This is ridiculous.

Mr. Parker, can you please check on the commotion in there? Thank you.

That's my guy.

There's no teacher in there.

Is one of you the second grade substitute teacher?

Yeah, he is.

Why would you do that to me?

I'm dead. I want to be entertained.

Well, you're late. They're going totally A.D.D.

You'd better get in there now.

Who's this?

- She's my teacher's--
- I'm his daughter.
- My daughter.

Oh, really? She doesn't look anything like you.

She's so pale.

Practically a ghost.

Right. Well, just...go.

Was that entertaining enough for you?

It's a start, daddy.

I could wear a dress. Would that be entertaining?

I'd actually really like to see that.

Oh, well, maybe we'll go shopping after this. That'd be fun, wouldn't it?

I told you to use your fucking sirens on the way over.

- We were nearly la...
- What the...

Hi, guys. Welcome to travel national air, TNA.

My ticket.

I love you.

- Now, can I get you two a cocktail?
- Oh...yes.

I would like...

basically anything with one of those little wooden umbrellas in it, you know?

Nothing for me, thank you.

Do the damn reap first, Mason, and then get hammered.

I am a high-functioning drunk.

I am going to join the mile-high club today.

You've never had sex on a plane before?

What?

- Is that what that means?
- Mm-hmm.

- What did you think it meant?
- Never mind.

No, for real, tell me what you thought it meant.

Roxy, I've never flown before. I'm a bit nervous, all right?

Well, congratulations, baby. Drink up.

Buckle up...

and don't fuck it up.

Just making them draw pictures is a cop-out.

You should actually teach them something.

- I'm not their teacher.
- You are today.

You have a chance to impact young people's lives,

and it's slipping by you. It's a shame.

How's this?

Oh, it's very, very good.

Rule of thumb--

lip liner--

you want to sketch, honey, not draw, sketch.

Thanks a lot, Daisy.

Yeah.

- Hi.
- Hi yourself.

What are you going to teach us?

Discipline. Return to your seat.

All right, stop drawing.

I want you to look up at these four pictures up here.

What do all these things have in common?

You.

They can all swim.

Bats don't swim. Anyone else?

They all...eat meat?

Beavers eat plants. Anyone else?

Anyone who might get into college?

And I'm talking state school.

Yes?

They all die.

- What's your name?
- Sara.

That's right, Sara, they all die. Everything and everyone dies.

I'm kidding.

I'm kidding.

They're all mammals.

Who can describe the characteristics of a mammal?

- Yeah?
- They can all fly.

Jesus, Jessie, work with daisy on your lip gloss. Anybody else?

Miss Daisy?

All mammals, like people, are warm-blooded.

Well, yes, they are. Let's hear it for miss Daisy.

Very good.

- Kids actually like you, Rube.
- Oh, I know.

It's baffling, isn't it?

- Hi. What are you doing?
- Paying bills.

Oh...oh.

This water bill is awfully high.

You and Reggie flush every time out?

You know, mother, I'm lucky if I even get to go at all.

I'll bet you and reggie flush twice as much as you need to.

Okay, you know what, mom?

Paying bills is hard enough without the play-by-play.

I really think you should try getting out of the house.

You know, I was just thinking that about you.

You're all straight lines and right angles, Joy.

If you don't loosen up, you're never going to hold another penis again.

Why do you keep running away from me?

We'll be on our way momentarily, ladies and gentlemen.

We're just waiting for some late arrivals.

Did you bring your sunscreen, Roxy?

- I'm black.
- Oh, right.

Black people tan, you bozo.

I have spf 15 if you want to use it.

- Champagne?
- Ah, yes.

Uh, no, thank you.

Missy, you look so familiar to me. What's your last name?

- Balabanian. It's armenian.
- Oh, my mistake.

Nice bracelet.

Oh, it was my grandmother's.

- Wow, it's beautiful.
- Thank you.

I love that armenian craftsmanship.

I will have that champagne now.

- Okay.
- Good for you, Roxy.

Finally letting go and relaxing.

- That's a damn shame.
- What is?

That pretty armenian girl is going to die looking like an in-flight hooker.

- Hmm, at least she got to see the world.
- Looking like a hooker.

- There you go.
- Thank you.

I seem to have dropped my ticket on the floor.

I'm really-- I'm sorry about that. I just...

There you go, clumsy.

And at least I got to see that.

- You're tragic.
- I suppose I am.

Okay, everyone, settle down, please.

We have something very special to share with you today,

a very special report on the Komodo dragon by Francis Bischetti.

"The komodo dragon, or varanus komodoensis," by Francis Bischetti.

The komodo is found exclusively on the indonesian islands of Komodo,

Rintja, Padar, Gili, and Mota.

It hunts by ambush and seizes with its jaws.

- Dragon kills janitor.
- Possibility.

It can bite a man's hand right off.

They live free in the wild, beholden to no man.

Oh, my god.

That's us.

What in the name of Jesus?

Go back to hell, you beast. You won't touch my children.

Don't hurt Frodo!

I got it.

Did they catch it?

Fi--fire drill.

Fire drill, two lines out the door.

- Damn. Did I kill something endangered?
- You did.

Shit. I'm a member of the Sierra club.

Well...it was in self-defense.

Yeah. It's not like it was something cute, like a baby seal.

There you go. This looks promising.

Why?

Newlyweds-- accident prone, obviously.

- Okay, there you go.
- Thanks, Missy.

- Oh, I've got no umbrella?
- They're a security risk.

You can't be too careful. Can't you?

- What's the movie?
- Four weddings and a funeral.

Close enough.

Hey, wait!

Why are you stalking me?

You're the stalker.

Go away.

Why did you touch that dragon?

I'm a dragon slayer. Now go away.

- I saw you steal from that girl.
- Good for you.

Want some chocolate milk?

Sure.

Aren't you going to get in trouble for ditching school?

Aren't you?

I don't have school.

Well, what do you do all day?

I'm a dragon slayer. I told you. Now stop following me.

Do you know a girl named George?

Was she killed by a toilet seat?

Yeah, I've heard of her.

You're a brave girl.

So George stays in, I suspect, with nothing.

I just don't want to miss mr. Hesburgh when he shows up.

I told you I'd point him out to you when he comes in off the 18th.

- I bet five bucks.
- Five bucks? Where are we, Vegas?

Well, that's the glory of poker.

My dad always says, "it has to hurt a little bit."

Otherwise, bets don't matter,

so, George, are you going to call, raise, or fold?

Fold.

Hmm...mistake.

I had a pair of kings.

Well, actually, you had trip kings.

Two in the pocket and one showing on the board.

It's three kings... trips.

Trip, trip, trip, you are really cute.

- You bluffed me.
- Yeah, it's the story of my life.

Sir. How is everything?

It's lovely. How are you?

Lovely, and you, miss?

Lovely.

Enough with the fucking "lovely." Talk like men.

The golf course has never been in better shape.

If we could just get old man Gibson to stop driving his cart through the sand traps.

Good one, sir.

Call me if you need anything.

Yeah, if he needs someone further up his ass.

You know, for someone who supposedly hates country club life,

you seem pretty comfortable.

I hate it.

Why?

Absolutely no surprises.

I hear the same nonsense every time I walk in--

"isn't that a lovely dress?"

"Man, the 14th just ate me up today."

"Another bombay martini, sir?"

It's like you know everything

everyone's going to do before they do it.

Except for that.

We still have four planes ahead of us,

but until we get off the ground,

Missy and Sparkle will be happy to distract you.

Open your bag, open your bag, open your bag, open your bag, open your bag.

Concentrate on your post-it, Mason.

- Maybe I'm not a very good flier.
- You're not a very good reaper.

Mrs... Tanya Diller.

Mrs... Bernard... Diller.

- Which one do you like best?
- Oh, both of them.

Can I offer you a snack?

No, get those peanuts far away from my baby. He's totally allergic.

Always looking out for me, babe.

- Love you.
- Love you more.

Bernard Diller, it's Bernard Diller.

He's dead.

Good, because I can't stand watching that tonsil hockey all the way to Cancun.

I can.

Busted.

More champagne, please. Account number 1835.

You're a quick study, George...

who has no last name.

I have one.

You're just not a clever enough reporter to figure it out.

Who said I was a reporter?

So you don't write for the newspaper?

You were lying to me.

I work for the newspaper, but I'm not a reporter.

I actually write obits.

I read obits.

- I write them.
- I read them.

Well, we have that in common, then.

- Death-fixated.
- No way.

Deaths celebrate life,

a life so well lived that it needs to be written about.

I really like him.

I really like you.

Anything else, mr. Hesburgh?

Uh, no. Thanks.

Wait a minute.

- You're T. Hesburgh?
- Yes...I am.

I'm sorry.

Oh, my god. Oh, my fucking god.

Hey, wait a second.

George.

Hey, George, wait.

Look, I should have told you my name was Hesburgh,

but I was just having some fun.

- Just stay away from me, just stay--
- No, wait. Wait a second.

I wasn't messing with you.

I mean, I guess I was at first, but...

I really do like you.

I really like you too.

Just do the job, George.

As I live and breathe,

Thomas Hesburgh III.

- What?
- Hey, dad.

- Who are you?
- I'm Thomas Hesburgh III.

I'm the third... Trip.

I know, but that's the hand I was dealt. Thanks a lot, dad.

- Hi, and I'm Thomas Hesburgh.
- Hi.

- So you're three. Then you're...
- Junior.

You can put all the blame on me.

My father was Thomas Hesburgh, I'm Thomas Hesburgh,

Trip is Thomas Hesburgh,

and when he gets around to siring a son,

the kid will be saddled with...

Peter, Peter, pumpkin eater.

Good for you.

Oh, dad, this is my friend, George. George, this is my dad.

A pleasure.

Is everything all right, young lady?

Just too much, um, champagne.

Son of a...

Look at this.

Helene!

Watch out.

Helene!

Helene, watch--

Dad?

Dad?

Dad?

Oh, my god, dad. Say something.

Say something, dad, please.

Please, don't do this.

And just like that, Trip escaped.

I wonder if he would've seen it that way.

Dad?

On behalf of TNA, I do apologize for our delay.

We're experiencing some flow control because of the weather.

In the meantime, please enjoy a refreshing cocktail. I know I am...

I'm kidding. No, I'm not.

We are going to Cancun today, Roxy.

Hell, yeah.

We are going to drink margaritas on the beach.

Hello.

It's on.

I could use some more bubbly.

- Hi.
- Hi.

How was school today?

A dragon was killed...

Wow.

And I think our janitor was hurt.

How?

Trying to catch the dragon.

Okay.

- And I talked to this boy.
- Well, that's nice.

Was he cute?

I think he knows George.

So...

it was a busy day.

I can't wait for some real mexican food.

- Do you like mole sauce?
- "Mol-ay," and it's my favorite.

You know it's real chocolate sauce?

- Fuck off.
- Mm-hmm.

Help!

I wanted to go snorkeling.

It's so beautiful down there.

All the different fish, it's like another world.

Help!

Fucking peanuts. I can't...breathe.

I wanted to try parasailing, too.

A hundred feet in the air with your balls in a sling

behind a motorboat driven by two drunks named Pedro?

I don't think so.

- Can you see?
- I can't see.

Is he all right?

Bernie.

Baby?

You bitch.

Maybe the tickets are refundable.

Act of god, all that bull, you know?

- Maybe.
- Maybe.

It should just be a couple more minutes, folks.

Thanks for your patience.

- Come on, dad.
- Look at him.

Don't do this.

He learned lifesaving at junior lifeguards.

He really loves you.

He likes you.

I've seen the way he looks at you.

Something going on there.

I don't...

it was just flirting. I shouldn't have been doing it.

Say goodbye to my son, why don't you?

Um, he's...

busy with you.

Don't be afraid.

Well, say something.

Tell him you're sorry.

God...

Okay.

I like him. Do I say, "I'll call you"?

Or do I just give him my number?

That's what Daisy would do. She'd say, "here's my card."

Fuck, his dad just died.

I...

I...

I'm just sorry.

I'll look out for him.

Come on, please.

You look out for him, too, huh?

Okay.

Promise?

I promise.

Hi.

- Did you get Reggie?
- Yes.

Come on, leave that for later. I'll buy you an ice cream.

You used to love rainbow sherbet, right?

We need to chat about Reggie.

Her issues are really buried.

I'm dealing with her issues, mom.

I stopped using top and bottom sheets.

I just take a big navajo blanket,

toss it over the futon,

boom, bed's made.

Well, that's great. The next time I go camping with tonto,

I'll be sure to give that a shot.

I don't think conventional therapy is the way to go, Joy.

My word, you're making this bed so tight.

You know, mom, it's my bed,

and I'm making it the way that I like,

because I'm going to lie in it.

- Truer wordswere never spoken.
- No, you know what's true?

You would rather stand here

and criticize how I make my bed

than actually help me make it.

Your idea of help is trying to keep order.

Sometimes order is not possible, Joy.

It is not always possible to make sure that everything...

is in the proper place.

Okay, "hey, should I call my husband and daughter

and tell them where I am?

"No, I think I'll just send them some smoke signals from my teepee"!

- That's not fair.
- You are so fucking selfish.

"Hey, time. Who needs time, right?

I'm a free spirit. I am way beyond time."

"Let's keep everything neat and tidy.

"Let's make sure that everything is in its proper place,

"that everything is exactly where I left it,

"that nothing will ever change.

"My marriage can end, my daughter can die,

but thank god the house is neat."

- Go to hell!
- Goddammit, Joy!

Sometimes life is messy!

Get used to it!

Hi, sweetie. How was school?

Good.

So...who's up for ice cream?

Did you know that due to the Komodo dragon's speed,

it is nearly impossible to escape if it's chasing you?

Thinking about getting a pet?

Just learning something new.

Kiffany, are there any of those fresh oatmeal cookies left?

I think so.

Will you bring one for my friend here?

Will you warm it up, please?

- All right.
- Thank you.

I feel something bad coming.

What makes you say that?

Any time you order me food, you always follow it up with bad news.

How was the Montgomery club?

Fine.

Tell me the bad news.

There's no bad news, George.

I just want to leave my girl...

with a smile on her face.

- What's up with him?
- I'm not sure.

We were at a school today. He acts really strange around kids.

Hmm. Stranger.

How was the Montgomery club?

Stuffy, entitled, bullshit.

I really liked it.

I'm so proud of you.

I think I'm going to go back.

Mm-hmm, what's his name?

- Trip.
- Trip?

- Here you go, sweetheart.
- Thank you, kiffany.

Trip...

I kissed him, and then I reaped his dad.

Complicated.

Good kisser?

Hmm, smart, funny...

- Money?
- Please.

Up until his dad died, I thought he was going to be my first boyfriend.

Mm-hmm, and now?

He's my first boyfriend.

Well...it's a little risky, Georgia.

What have I got to lose?

Everything.

I bet everything.

Oh, well, then you say, "all in."

- All in.
- Right.

All right, too rich for my blood. I fold.

Let's see.

Oh... oh, wow.

You win, you win.

Here, here. Yay!

Um...

I think it's your bedtime, Reggie.

If you want to stay up a little while longer, honey, it's okay with me.

That's okay. I'm tired. I had a long day.

See you in the morning.

'Night.

Good night, honey.

- Joy, honey?
- Hmm?

I think I'll go home tomorrow.

- Really?
- Mm-hmm.

We never do seem to find a resting place, do we?

No.

I don't mean to be hurtful, mom.

Neither do I.

I know.

I could always come back.

Hmm...

Say it.

You can always come back.

Thank you.

I worry...

about your daughter.

I know.

Both of them.

I know.

I think that everyone wants to escape wherever they are.

We nearly made it.

To our near escape.

Clink.

I think it was meant to be a narrow escape, actually, Roxy.

To that too.

Clink.

Clink, yeah.

- Have you ever been to Mexico?
- No.

I've never been anywhere.

I think it would have been nice.

Me too.

I think we would have had fun.

Me too.

People don't seem really happy where they are.

They're always looking for a different place,

a different person,

just different.

Like my mom used to say,

"the grass is always greener..."

everyone's searching for the other side.

I'm already there, and I'm still looking.

We're sorry. Your call cannot be completed as dialed.

Please check the number and dial again, or call...

No one will admit it,

but people desperately want to be in clubs,

especially the ones they can't join,

and I don't know what to do

now that I've found the one I want to belong to...

So I went back to the only one that would have me for a member.

Are you still waiting for your friends, hon?

Yeah.

I'll come back.

And just because I had no one to talk to,

didn't mean I couldn't listen.

I'll get it.

Hello? Lass residence.

You mother tells me you're not going back to college next semester.

Yeah.

Congratulations.

- A frog?
- Mm-hmm.

A little "you're on your own" present.

For luck?

Frogs symbolize new life,

transformation,

from tadpole to young woman...

That's you, sweetheart.

Whatever you say, grandma.

You have great life in you, Georgia.

Don't let that escape you.

Promise?

I promise.

It's a filthy habit.

One drag, and don't tell your mother.

I promise.

Hello?

- Hello?
- Can I help you?

Hi. This is...

Is this the lady of the house?

No, the lady of the house is doing something extremely important.

I think it involves a dust buster.

Who is this?

Who is this?

I have the wrong number.

As a little girl,

I used to think my grandma was a little loony.

Now I get that she was just really alive.

If I only knew then what I know now...

Join the club.