Darkwing Duck (1991–1992): Season 1, Episode 9 - Comic Book Capers - full transcript
Darkwing Duck is the newest cape and cowled crime fighter of St. Canard, but he isn't having much success in getting publicized. However, his luck seems to change when he discovers the plot of Taurus Bulba, the criminal mastermind who commands his cronies from jail itself. D.W. enlists the help of Launchpad McQuack, the pilot from Duckburg who idolizes the superhero, but once again goes it alone after one of Launchpad's trademark crashes. Soon, Darkwing finds he has to protect a young orphan girl named Gosalyn Waddlemeyer, who is the granddaughter of a late scientist who created a device called the Ramrod. The machine is now under Bulba's control, but remains inoperable due to the need of a code, which only Gosalyn may know. His job isn't made any easier by her feisty spirit or his being framed with stealing the device himself. And so Darkwing must both keep Gosalyn at his secret base and away from Bulba's henchmen, and try to clear his own name.
♪ DARING DUCK OF MYSTERY ♪
♪ CHAMPION OF RIGHT ♪
♪ SWOOPS OUT OF
THE SHADOWS ♪
♪ DARKWING OF THE NIGHT ♪
♪ SOMEWHERE SOME
VILLAIN SCHEMES ♪
♪ BUT HIS NUMBER'S UP ♪
3, 2, 1!
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE
YOU CALL D.W. ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LET'S GET DANGEROUS.
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
DARKWING, DARKWING DUCK!
♪ A CLOUD OF SMOKE
AND HE APPEARS ♪
♪ THE MASTER OF SURPRISE ♪
♪ WHO'S THAT CUNNING
MIND BEHIND ♪
♪ THE SHADOWY DISGUISE ♪
♪ NOBODY KNOWS FOR SURE ♪
♪ THE BAD GUYS ARE
OUT OF LUCK ♪
♪ HERE COMES ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LOOK OUT!
♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE
YOU CALL D.W. ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LET'S GET DANGEROUS!
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
♪ YOU BETTER WATCH
OUT, YOU BAD BOYS ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪♪
SO, HOW DO YOU WANT
TO GO, DARKWING?
REGULAR OR EXTRA CRISPY?
WHAT ABOUT PEACEFULLY--
IN MY SLEEP AT AN OLD AGE.
HELP! HELP!
SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME!
HOLD IT!
I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.
IT'S-- THIS IS--
IT'S GRIPPING, ISN'T IT?
WE AT THE AWESOME
COMIC BOOK CORP.
HAVE THE VERY HIGHEST HOPES
FOR THIS ISSUE.
FRANKLY, MR. DARKWING,
WE SMELL A BLOCKBUSTER HIT.
OH, IT'S NOT HARD TO SMELL
THIS THING, SIR.
BECAUSE IT STINKS!
IS THERE SOMETHING
WRONG WITH IT?
WRONG? OH, NO,
NOTHING'S WRONG,
EXCEPT ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING!
THIS THING HAS NOTHING
TO DO WITH REALITY!
WE, PERHAPS, TOOK SOME
DRAMATIC LICENSE.
MERELY TO HUMANIZE THE
CHARACTER, YOU UNDERSTAND.
YOUR DRAMATIC LICENSE...
IT'S JUST BEEN REVOKED!
WE THOUGHT YOU MIGHT
SEEM TOO COURAGEOUS,
TOO DARING, AND TOO
LARGER THAN LIFE.
WELL, OF COURSE!
THAT'S WHAT A HERO IS.
THIS THING WOULD RUIN ME.
I'D BE A LAUGHING STOCK.
NO VILLAIN WOULD COWER
BEFORE ME AGAIN.
LITTLE CHILDREN ALL
OVER THE WORLD
WILL BE READING THIS.
HOW CAN THEY PATTERN THEIR
LIVES AFTER ME
IF THEY THINK
I'M A COWARD?
IF YOU'RE GONNA DO A COMIC
BOOK BASED ON MY LIFE,
YOU'RE GONNA DO IT RIGHT!
THERE'S ONLY ONE PERSON I
TRUST WITH A JOB LIKE THIS--
AND THAT'S ME.
COME ON, DAD. I
WANT TO SEE IT.
NOBODY SEES THAT GARBAGE
UNTIL I CAN FIX IT.
MAYBE WE CAN
HELP YOU, D.W.
YOU CAN HELP BY
LEAVING ME ALONE.
I'M GONNA NEED COMPLETE
CONCENTRATION TO SAVE THIS
FIASCO,
BECAUSE WE'RE LOOKING AT
A TOTAL REWRITE HERE.
FROM PAGE 1, WORD 1.
FORTUNATELY, I'M JUST THE
ONE WITH THE HONESTY
TO GIVE IT THE GRITTY
REALISM IT NEEDS.
IN A WORD, DARKWING
DUCK WAS...
HMMM, DOES FENOMINAL
HAVE ONE "F" OR TWO?
THE GLORIOUSLY PERFECT
CRIME FIGHTER...
THE EXTRAORDINARILY
MAGNIFICENT CRIME FIGHTER?
PAINFULLY HANDSOME?
AH, SO MANY ADJECTIVES,
SO LITTLE TIME.
DARKWING DUCK ARRIVED
TO INVESTIGATE
THE MYSTERIOUS DISAPPEARANCE
OF SAFETY INSPECTOR #16.
AH, HA. HE WAS OBVIOUSLY BLOWN
THROUGH HIS BATHROOM WALL
BY SOME UNKNOWN FORCE.
THE SAFETY INSPECTOR
HAD AN ACCIDENT?
BUT THEY'RE USUALLY
SO CAREFUL.
NO, LAUNCHPAD. THIS
WAS NO ACCIDENT.
HMMM, THERE'S SOMETHING
NOT QUITE RIGHT
WITH THIS HAIR DRYER.
WELL, NO WONDER, D.W.,
IT'S NOT PLUGGED IN.
THE HERO BEGAN BY...
LAUNCHPAD, I BELIEVE THIS
APPLIANCE WAS TAMPERED WITH.
AND THEN OTHER MYSTERIOUS
ACCIDENTS OCCURRED
LATER THAT EVENING,
A TOP-RANKING OFFICIAL WAS
ATTACKED BY A TOASTER OVEN.
LAUNCHPAD, THERE'S
ONLY ONE PERSON
CAPABLE OF CREATING ALL
THESE ELECTRICAL DISASTERS,
AND THAT'S MY VILLAINOUS
ARCHRIVAL, MEGAVOLT.
[ TAPPING ]
GET THIS ENGINE CHECKED.
IT'S KNOCKING.
I DON'T REMEMBER ANY
ENGINE KNOCKING.
OH, THE DOOR.
I THOUGHT SOME LEMONADE
MIGHT GET THE CREATIVE
JUICES FLOWING.
THANK YOU, DEAR.
MOLDING A MASTERPIECE DOES DRY
THE THROAT!
WHAT'S IN THIS?!!
JUST LEMONS, DAD.
UNLESS THOSE
WERE JALAPEÑOS
MUST HAVE BEEN JALAPEÑOS
...TOASTER OVEN.
THIS IS ABOUT AS EXCITING
AS WATCHING CEMENT DRY.
I GUESS HE'S JUST TOO
CLOSE TO THE MATERIAL.
HAVING RUN OUT
OF FOOD ON MARS,
THE GIANT FLESH-EATING
SLUG MONSTER
HAS COME TO EARTH TO SATISFY
ITS GRUESOME APPETITE.
LOOK OUT, DARKWING!
A GIANT SLUG
MONSTER FROM MARS!
NO, LAUNCHPAD, IT'S A GIANT
FLESH-EATING SLUG MONSTER
FROM MARS!
MEGAVOLT WILL JUST
HAVE TO WAIT
WHILE I SAVE THE PLANET
FROM THIS MENACE.
HEYAAA!
HEH HEH HEH.
WHAT A WAY TO GO!
DONE IN BY A PLAIN
OL' GARDEN PEST.
YOU'VE GIVEN ME AN IDEA.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
GOTTA A COUPLE OF
BUCKS ON YOU?
WHAT DOES A SLUG FEAR MOST?
COMMON HOUSEHOLD SALT.
DON'T I HAVE SOME
CHANGE COMING?
SORRY I DIDN'T
GET A RECEIPT.
AOOORRR!
ONE ORDER OF ESCARGOT TO GO.
NOW TO TAKE CARE OF MEGAVOLT!
OH, BOY. THIS IS WRITING.
WHAT'LL I PUT IN NEXT?
MAYBE A ZOMBIE WITH A HUGE--
I HATE TO INTERRUPT,
BUT WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!!
I'D LIKE TO CHAT, BUT MY
BIKE'S DOUBLE PARKED.
I HAVE TO FIND SOME PLACE
WHERE I WON'T BE DISTURBED.
NOW TO GET MY TRAIN OF
THOUGHT BACK ON TRACK.
UNLESS I MISS MY GUESS,
THAT'S THE WORK OF
MEGAVOLT HIMSELF.
HE'S PLAYING WITH THE
CITY POWER LINES.
SO HE'S PILLAGING THE DAYLIGHT
SAVINGS AND LOAN, EH?
IT'S ALL OVER, MEGAVOLT!
I'M PUTTING YOU BEHIND
BARS IN A DRY CELL.
OVER MY DEAD
BATTERIES!
EAT AMPERES, DUCK!
HAVEN'T YOU HEARD THAT
CRIME DOESN'T PAY?
THEY LEFT ME NO CHOICE.
JUST BECAUSE I MISSED
PAYING A POWER BILL OR TWO,
THEY THREATENED TO SHUT ME OFF
IN THE MIDDLE OF THE GREATEST
SCHEME OF MY CAREER.
THAT'D BE JUST
LIKE 'EM.
I'LL STOP THAT HIGH-VOLTAGE
LOW-LIFE IF IT'S--
D.W.?
WHAT IS IT, LAUNCHPAD?
DO YOU KNOW MUCH ABOUT
WASHING MACHINES?
WHAT???
IF I DROPPED A BOX OF
SOAP IN THE WASHER
AND THE LID WAS STUCK SHUT
WITH THE THING ON HIGH,
WHAT WOULD HAPPEN?
I SUPPOSE IT MIGHT EXPLODE
IN A MOUNTAIN OF SUDS.
[ EXPLOSION ]
I WAS AFRAID OF THAT.
STAY HERE AND DON'T LET
ANYBODY SEE THAT.
THAT D.W.'S REALLY SOMETHING.
STARRING IN HIS OWN COMIC BOOK,
JUST LIKE MICKEY MOUSE.
I ALWAYS LIKED THOSE WILD
WESTERN COMIC BOOKS MYSELF.
YOU NEVER SEE THOSE ANYMORE.
SOMETHING LIKE
DEATH VALLEY DUCK--
NOW THAT'D BE GREAT.
WELL, IT'S THAT RENEGADE
BIG CHIEF POWER BILL.
SAY, SIDEKICK, DO I SOUND
DIFFERENT TO YOU?
NOPE, I RECKON YOU SHO
'NUFF SOUND SAME AS EVER.
I GUESS IT WAS JUST
MY IMAGINATION.
YA MIGHT AS WELL GIVE UP,
YA YELLAR BELLIED SIDEWINDER.
WE'LL BE MANY MOONS
OVER MIAMI BEFORE BIG
CHIEF GIVES UP.
THE BRAVE'S PRETTY
BRAVE FOR A COWARD.
ARE YOU A-COMING PEACEFUL LIKE,
OR AM I--
WHAT IS THIS?
CUSTARD'S LAST STAND?
THAT'S MY ASSISTANT,
LITTLE RUNNING GAG.
SURRENDER, BIG CHIEF.
YOU'RE SURROUNDED BY AN
ARMY OF 12,000 SOLDIERS.
THAT'S AN OLD MILITARY
PLOY WE CALL LYING.
DUCK BORN WITH SILVER
SPOON IN MOUTH
SPEAK WITH FORKED TONGUE.
IF YOU CAN DISH IT OUT,
I CAN TAKE IT.
MUCH MORE OF THIS AND I'LL
HAVE A FULL PLACE SETTING.
I'M GIVIN' YOU ONE
KILOWATT HOUR TO--
BUT, CONSIDERING THE SHODDY
TREATMENT YOUR PEOPLE HAVE
RECEIVED,
PERHAPS WE COULD DROP THE
WHOLE MATTER, HUH?
OOH, AAAH!
ARE YOU READING
MY COMIC BOOK?
WHO? ME?
YAAA!
I'VE GOT TO HAVE
SOME PRIVACY.
WHERE WAS I? OH, YEAH--
I'D JUST CHASED MEGAVOLT TO
THE POWER COMPANY BUILDING,
WHERE I WAS GOING TO
FINISH HIM OFF...
AND WHY AM I WEARING
A COWBOY HAT?
MUST HAVE BEEN A TYPO.
THIS IS IT, MEGAVOLT.
I'M PULLING THE PLUG ON YOU.
THAT'S DOUBTFUL, DUCK.
THERE'S NO STOPPING
THE UNSTOPPABLE.
BECAUSE I'VE JUST PERFECTED
MY NEW IMPROVED REMOTE
CONTROL.
I CAN NOW VARY THE
ELECTRIC COMPANY'S
OUTPUT AT WILL.
WITH CONTROLLED
POWER SURGES,
I CAN TRANSFORM ALL
HOUSEHOLD APPLIANCES
INTO SOLDIERS OF MY
PRIVATE ARMY.
GOING UP?
THIS IS WHAT I CALL AN
EXPRESS ELEVATOR.
YOU SURE YOU KNOW HOW
TO RUN THIS THING?
GOING DOWN.
I HOPE YOU HAVE
ELEVATOR INSURANCE.
YAAAAA!
A 14-MILE DROP AT THE
SPEED OF LIGHT--
WE COULD BE IN FOR
A ROUGH LANDING.
YAAAAA!
YAAAAA!
YAHOO, MR.
MALLARD.
OH, NO. NOT THAT
SACCHARIN SUBURBANITE.
I'VE BEEN LOOKING
ALL OVER FOR YOU.
YES, MRS. MUDDLEFOOT?
DO YOU HAVE SOME
GROUND CINNAMON WE
COULD BORROW?
DID HEMINGWAY HAVE
THIS PROBLEM?
OF COURSE NOT.
HE DIDN'T LIVE NEXT DOOR
TO THE MUDDLEFOOTS.
I'LL GET YOU A WHOLE
CINNAMON TREE.
THANKS YOU, BUT A
HALF A CUP WILL DO.
OH. AND WHAT'S THIS?
WHY, IT'S A COMIC BOOK.
WELL, HOW DARLING.
UH! OH, DEAR ME.
MY STARS! SUCH VIOLENCE!
WITH READING
MATERIAL LIKE THIS
IT'S NO WONDER SO MANY
CHILDREN GROW UP
TO BE CRUEL DICTATORS.
NOW, HOW CAN I MAKE THIS A
LITTLE LESS DEPLORABLE
AND A LITTLE MORE ADORABLE?
I KNOW-- IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL
SPRING MORNING...
AND LITTLE MR. BUNNY WAS
AS HAPPY AS COULD BE.
HE HAPPILY HIP-HOPPED UP
TO ROBIN REDBREAST
AND THEN...
WOULD YOU MIND CLEARING
OUT OF HERE?
I'D LIKE TO BE ALONE.
MY GOODNESS, NO. HE
DIDN'T SAY THAT.
THE LITTLE MR. BUNNY TURNED
TO THE BIRDIE AND SAID...
YOU DON'T WANT TO MAKE ME
LOSE MY TEMPER, DO YOU?
NO. NO, HE DIDN'T
SAY THAT EITHER.
OH, WHY, YOU'RE BACK.
AND SO SOON.
I GUESS THERE'S ONLY ONE
PLACE I WON'T BE DISTURBED.
AT LAST, I CAN FINISH
THIS THING IN PEACE.
LUCKILY WE LANDED
SOFTLY IN THIS...
SAY, L.P., WHERE
ARE WE ANYWAY?
YOU'VE GOT ME, BUT
IT SURE IS CUTE.
WE HAVE TO FIND
MEGAVOLT BEFORE--
I MAY HAVE TO HURT THAT GUY.
AH, DON'T BE TOO
HARD ON HIM, D.W.
HE'S JUST A--
I KNOW, I KNOW, I KNOW.
HE'S JUST A LITTLE RUNNING GAG.
COME ON. WE HAVE TO
DEFUSE MEGAVOLT.
THEY CALL ME MAD. THEY
CALL ME INSANE.
ALL RIGHT, BUT I'M
RUNNING THINGS NOW.
YOUR MAD SCHEME
WILL NEVER WORK,
YOU EGO-MANIACAL ELECTRON
FOR YOUR INFORMATION,
IT ALREADY HAS.
I WAS ON MY WAY
OVER HERE TO PAY MY
POWER BILL,
AFTER BORROWING MONEY
FROM THE BANK,
THEN I THOUGHT, HEY, WHY NOT
JUST TAKE OVER THE PLACE?
NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,
I HAVE A CITY TO DOMINATE.
I DID IT!
AND TOOK A GOOD 17 INCHES OFF
MY WAISTLINE IN THE PROCESS.
NOW TO SHORT CIRCUIT
THAT LUNATIC.
COME ON, LAUNCHPAD.
LET'S GET DANGEROUS!
DO WE HAVE TO GET THAT
DANGEROUS, D.W.?
COULDN'T WE JUST
TAKE THE STAIRS?
THE WHOLE CITY IS MINE.
AND TO THINK I NEVER EVEN
FINISHED REFORM SCHOOL.
YOU AGAIN!
THAT'S FAR ENOUGH,
SPARKPLUG BREATH!
GIVE ME THAT. IT'S
PRIVATE PROPERTY.
THAT A BOY,
DARKWING. GET 'EM.
SHOW 'EM WHO'S--
OOOH WHOOO HEEEE!
AH, MY MASTERPIECE!
MY BABY!
OH, MY SWEET DARLING.
YOU'RE THE APPLE OF MY EYE.
OOH, WHAT'S THIS?
A COMIC BOOK?
A COMIC BOOK STARRING
DARKWING DUCK?
WHAT'S THE WORLD COMING TO?
NO! NO! THIS IS
WRONG! ALL WRONG!
AND IN DEFINITE NEED OF REPAIR.
OK. AS DARKWING DUCK
AND THE MISUNDERSTOOD
GENIUS, MEGAVOLT,
STRUGGLE FOR THE REMOTE
CONTROL DEVICE...
I'VE HAD ALL I'M GONNA
TAKE FROM YOU, DUCK.
BEHOLD! I'M THE
NEW, THE IMPROVED,
MEGA, MAXIMUM MONDO MEGAVOLT!
AND YOU, DUCK, ARE TOAST.
IT WOULD APPEAR THAT
OUR BEST HOPE WOULD BE
A TACTICAL RETREAT!
DON'T WORRY, LAUNCHPAD.
MEGAVOLT MAY HAVE
SUPERIOR SIZE,
HE MAY HAVE
SUPERIOR POWER,
BUT I HAVE SUPERIOR
INTELLECT.
THEN AGAIN, LET'S NOT
UNDEREMPHASIZE POWER.
I WAS WONDERING WHAT
HAPPENED TO YOU.
WE'RE SAFE DOWN
HERE, LAUNCHPAD.
HE'S TOO BIG TO FIT IN.
YAAAA!
WHY CAN'T I GET A BREAK?
THIS THING'S DUE TOMORROW.
EVEN THE WIND'S AGAINST ME.
THIS PLACE LOOKS FAMILIAR.
AT LAST, I CAN TELL THE STORY
THE WAY IT SHOULD'VE HAPPENED.
TAMPERING WITH MY
MASTERPIECE, EH?
OOOH! DON'T YOU KNOW
HOW TO KNOCK?
YOUR LITTLE GAME IS OVER, YOU
REVOLTING REVISIONIST.
GIVE IT BACK SO I CAN
FINISH THE SCENE WHERE I
FINISH YOU OFF.
WRONG! IN THE LAST
SCENE, I'M GONNA
FINISH YOU OFF.
SORRY, PAL. THIS
THING'S REALITY-BASED.
YOU DON'T STAND A
CHANCE AGAINST ME.
THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK,
YOU HACKNEYED HACK.
IN THIS EDITION, I'M TEN TIMES
BIGGER AND MORE POWERFUL.
NO WAY! LET ME SEE THAT!
WHERE?
RIGHT THERE.
WHAT?! WHAT KIND OF SCIENCE
FICTION ARE YOU TRYING TO WRITE?
IF ANYTHING, YOU'RE TO
BE 20 TIMES SMALLER.
WHAT DO YOU THINK
YOU'RE DOING?
I'M BIGGER.
HAVE IT YOUR WAY. I CAN
BEAT YOU NO MATTER WHAT
SIZE SHOE YOU WEAR.
SAVED BY MY FAITHFUL
PET, SUPER BUNNY.
WAIT A MINUTE...
SINCE WHEN DO I HAVE A FAITHFUL
PET NAMED SUPER BUNNY?
IT'S A LITTLE EARLY
FOR EASTER.
ISN'T IT?
LISTEN, SUPER B.,
THERE'S ONLY ROOM FOR ONE
HERO IN THIS COMIC BOOK,
AND I GOT THE JOB.
SO BEAT IT!
NEVER SEND A BUNNY
TO DO A DUCK'S JOB.
IN HERE, D.W.!
GOOD GOING, LAUNCHPAD.
YOU'VE...
GOTTEN US INTO AN
EVEN BIGGER JAM.
I'VE HEARD OF
EATING THE SCENERY,
BUT THIS IS RIDICULOUS.
STRANGE? YES. BUT I'M NOT
ONE TO LOOK A GIFT HORSE IN
THE MOUTH.
HIYO, SILVER. AWAY!
THAT'S CHEATING.
WHOA, SILVER.
ALL RIGHT, DUCK, THIS IS
GONNA BE YOUR FINAL SCENE.
LOOKS LIKE HE'S GOT US
THIS TIME, D.W.
HA! I DON'T KNOW THE MEANING OF
THE WORD DEFEAT, LAUNCHPAD.
AHA. JUST WHAT WE
NEED RIGHT NOW--
A REFRESHING CUP OF COFFEE.
PUSH, LAUNCHPAD.
TASTE JAVA, BATTERY BRAIN.
AAAAAH! I'VE
BEEN PERCOLATED!
THAT'S NOT FAIR.
HOW COME YOU
GET TO WIN?
BECAUSE IT'S MY COMIC BOOK.
I'D LOVE TO CHEW
THE FAT, BABE,
BUT I'M LATE FOR A DATE WITH
COMIC BOOK IMMORTALITY.
SEE YOU IN THE FUNNY
PAPERS, PAL.
AH, WELL...
YES?
I HATE IT!
NO.
YES.
I'M ALSO REPELLED AND REPULSED,
REVILED AND REVOLTED BY IT.
I LOATHE AND ABHOR IT.
NOT TO MENTION DESPISING
AND DETESTING IT.
HOWEVER...
HOWEVER?
HOWEVER, I AM INTRIGUED BY
THE RABBIT CHARACTER
AND PLAN TO SPIN OFF
A NEW COMIC BOOK--
THE ADVENTURES OF SUPER BUNNY.
B-B-B-BU-BUNNY!
R-R-RA-RABBIT!
OF ALL THE--
SIR, I HAVE ONLY ONE RESPONSE TO
THIS DEVELOPMENT.
[ WHISTLES ]
COME, COME, LITTLE RUNNING GAG.
LET'S SEE IF WE CAN SELL
THIS EPIC TO DISNEY.
MAYBE THEY'LL MAKE A
TV SERIES OUT OF IT.
♪ CHAMPION OF RIGHT ♪
♪ SWOOPS OUT OF
THE SHADOWS ♪
♪ DARKWING OF THE NIGHT ♪
♪ SOMEWHERE SOME
VILLAIN SCHEMES ♪
♪ BUT HIS NUMBER'S UP ♪
3, 2, 1!
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE
YOU CALL D.W. ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LET'S GET DANGEROUS.
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
DARKWING, DARKWING DUCK!
♪ A CLOUD OF SMOKE
AND HE APPEARS ♪
♪ THE MASTER OF SURPRISE ♪
♪ WHO'S THAT CUNNING
MIND BEHIND ♪
♪ THE SHADOWY DISGUISE ♪
♪ NOBODY KNOWS FOR SURE ♪
♪ THE BAD GUYS ARE
OUT OF LUCK ♪
♪ HERE COMES ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LOOK OUT!
♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE
YOU CALL D.W. ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
LET'S GET DANGEROUS!
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪
♪ YOU BETTER WATCH
OUT, YOU BAD BOYS ♪
♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪♪
SO, HOW DO YOU WANT
TO GO, DARKWING?
REGULAR OR EXTRA CRISPY?
WHAT ABOUT PEACEFULLY--
IN MY SLEEP AT AN OLD AGE.
HELP! HELP!
SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME!
HOLD IT!
I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.
IT'S-- THIS IS--
IT'S GRIPPING, ISN'T IT?
WE AT THE AWESOME
COMIC BOOK CORP.
HAVE THE VERY HIGHEST HOPES
FOR THIS ISSUE.
FRANKLY, MR. DARKWING,
WE SMELL A BLOCKBUSTER HIT.
OH, IT'S NOT HARD TO SMELL
THIS THING, SIR.
BECAUSE IT STINKS!
IS THERE SOMETHING
WRONG WITH IT?
WRONG? OH, NO,
NOTHING'S WRONG,
EXCEPT ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING!
THIS THING HAS NOTHING
TO DO WITH REALITY!
WE, PERHAPS, TOOK SOME
DRAMATIC LICENSE.
MERELY TO HUMANIZE THE
CHARACTER, YOU UNDERSTAND.
YOUR DRAMATIC LICENSE...
IT'S JUST BEEN REVOKED!
WE THOUGHT YOU MIGHT
SEEM TOO COURAGEOUS,
TOO DARING, AND TOO
LARGER THAN LIFE.
WELL, OF COURSE!
THAT'S WHAT A HERO IS.
THIS THING WOULD RUIN ME.
I'D BE A LAUGHING STOCK.
NO VILLAIN WOULD COWER
BEFORE ME AGAIN.
LITTLE CHILDREN ALL
OVER THE WORLD
WILL BE READING THIS.
HOW CAN THEY PATTERN THEIR
LIVES AFTER ME
IF THEY THINK
I'M A COWARD?
IF YOU'RE GONNA DO A COMIC
BOOK BASED ON MY LIFE,
YOU'RE GONNA DO IT RIGHT!
THERE'S ONLY ONE PERSON I
TRUST WITH A JOB LIKE THIS--
AND THAT'S ME.
COME ON, DAD. I
WANT TO SEE IT.
NOBODY SEES THAT GARBAGE
UNTIL I CAN FIX IT.
MAYBE WE CAN
HELP YOU, D.W.
YOU CAN HELP BY
LEAVING ME ALONE.
I'M GONNA NEED COMPLETE
CONCENTRATION TO SAVE THIS
FIASCO,
BECAUSE WE'RE LOOKING AT
A TOTAL REWRITE HERE.
FROM PAGE 1, WORD 1.
FORTUNATELY, I'M JUST THE
ONE WITH THE HONESTY
TO GIVE IT THE GRITTY
REALISM IT NEEDS.
IN A WORD, DARKWING
DUCK WAS...
HMMM, DOES FENOMINAL
HAVE ONE "F" OR TWO?
THE GLORIOUSLY PERFECT
CRIME FIGHTER...
THE EXTRAORDINARILY
MAGNIFICENT CRIME FIGHTER?
PAINFULLY HANDSOME?
AH, SO MANY ADJECTIVES,
SO LITTLE TIME.
DARKWING DUCK ARRIVED
TO INVESTIGATE
THE MYSTERIOUS DISAPPEARANCE
OF SAFETY INSPECTOR #16.
AH, HA. HE WAS OBVIOUSLY BLOWN
THROUGH HIS BATHROOM WALL
BY SOME UNKNOWN FORCE.
THE SAFETY INSPECTOR
HAD AN ACCIDENT?
BUT THEY'RE USUALLY
SO CAREFUL.
NO, LAUNCHPAD. THIS
WAS NO ACCIDENT.
HMMM, THERE'S SOMETHING
NOT QUITE RIGHT
WITH THIS HAIR DRYER.
WELL, NO WONDER, D.W.,
IT'S NOT PLUGGED IN.
THE HERO BEGAN BY...
LAUNCHPAD, I BELIEVE THIS
APPLIANCE WAS TAMPERED WITH.
AND THEN OTHER MYSTERIOUS
ACCIDENTS OCCURRED
LATER THAT EVENING,
A TOP-RANKING OFFICIAL WAS
ATTACKED BY A TOASTER OVEN.
LAUNCHPAD, THERE'S
ONLY ONE PERSON
CAPABLE OF CREATING ALL
THESE ELECTRICAL DISASTERS,
AND THAT'S MY VILLAINOUS
ARCHRIVAL, MEGAVOLT.
[ TAPPING ]
GET THIS ENGINE CHECKED.
IT'S KNOCKING.
I DON'T REMEMBER ANY
ENGINE KNOCKING.
OH, THE DOOR.
I THOUGHT SOME LEMONADE
MIGHT GET THE CREATIVE
JUICES FLOWING.
THANK YOU, DEAR.
MOLDING A MASTERPIECE DOES DRY
THE THROAT!
WHAT'S IN THIS?!!
JUST LEMONS, DAD.
UNLESS THOSE
WERE JALAPEÑOS
MUST HAVE BEEN JALAPEÑOS
...TOASTER OVEN.
THIS IS ABOUT AS EXCITING
AS WATCHING CEMENT DRY.
I GUESS HE'S JUST TOO
CLOSE TO THE MATERIAL.
HAVING RUN OUT
OF FOOD ON MARS,
THE GIANT FLESH-EATING
SLUG MONSTER
HAS COME TO EARTH TO SATISFY
ITS GRUESOME APPETITE.
LOOK OUT, DARKWING!
A GIANT SLUG
MONSTER FROM MARS!
NO, LAUNCHPAD, IT'S A GIANT
FLESH-EATING SLUG MONSTER
FROM MARS!
MEGAVOLT WILL JUST
HAVE TO WAIT
WHILE I SAVE THE PLANET
FROM THIS MENACE.
HEYAAA!
HEH HEH HEH.
WHAT A WAY TO GO!
DONE IN BY A PLAIN
OL' GARDEN PEST.
YOU'VE GIVEN ME AN IDEA.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
GOTTA A COUPLE OF
BUCKS ON YOU?
WHAT DOES A SLUG FEAR MOST?
COMMON HOUSEHOLD SALT.
DON'T I HAVE SOME
CHANGE COMING?
SORRY I DIDN'T
GET A RECEIPT.
AOOORRR!
ONE ORDER OF ESCARGOT TO GO.
NOW TO TAKE CARE OF MEGAVOLT!
OH, BOY. THIS IS WRITING.
WHAT'LL I PUT IN NEXT?
MAYBE A ZOMBIE WITH A HUGE--
I HATE TO INTERRUPT,
BUT WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!!
I'D LIKE TO CHAT, BUT MY
BIKE'S DOUBLE PARKED.
I HAVE TO FIND SOME PLACE
WHERE I WON'T BE DISTURBED.
NOW TO GET MY TRAIN OF
THOUGHT BACK ON TRACK.
UNLESS I MISS MY GUESS,
THAT'S THE WORK OF
MEGAVOLT HIMSELF.
HE'S PLAYING WITH THE
CITY POWER LINES.
SO HE'S PILLAGING THE DAYLIGHT
SAVINGS AND LOAN, EH?
IT'S ALL OVER, MEGAVOLT!
I'M PUTTING YOU BEHIND
BARS IN A DRY CELL.
OVER MY DEAD
BATTERIES!
EAT AMPERES, DUCK!
HAVEN'T YOU HEARD THAT
CRIME DOESN'T PAY?
THEY LEFT ME NO CHOICE.
JUST BECAUSE I MISSED
PAYING A POWER BILL OR TWO,
THEY THREATENED TO SHUT ME OFF
IN THE MIDDLE OF THE GREATEST
SCHEME OF MY CAREER.
THAT'D BE JUST
LIKE 'EM.
I'LL STOP THAT HIGH-VOLTAGE
LOW-LIFE IF IT'S--
D.W.?
WHAT IS IT, LAUNCHPAD?
DO YOU KNOW MUCH ABOUT
WASHING MACHINES?
WHAT???
IF I DROPPED A BOX OF
SOAP IN THE WASHER
AND THE LID WAS STUCK SHUT
WITH THE THING ON HIGH,
WHAT WOULD HAPPEN?
I SUPPOSE IT MIGHT EXPLODE
IN A MOUNTAIN OF SUDS.
[ EXPLOSION ]
I WAS AFRAID OF THAT.
STAY HERE AND DON'T LET
ANYBODY SEE THAT.
THAT D.W.'S REALLY SOMETHING.
STARRING IN HIS OWN COMIC BOOK,
JUST LIKE MICKEY MOUSE.
I ALWAYS LIKED THOSE WILD
WESTERN COMIC BOOKS MYSELF.
YOU NEVER SEE THOSE ANYMORE.
SOMETHING LIKE
DEATH VALLEY DUCK--
NOW THAT'D BE GREAT.
WELL, IT'S THAT RENEGADE
BIG CHIEF POWER BILL.
SAY, SIDEKICK, DO I SOUND
DIFFERENT TO YOU?
NOPE, I RECKON YOU SHO
'NUFF SOUND SAME AS EVER.
I GUESS IT WAS JUST
MY IMAGINATION.
YA MIGHT AS WELL GIVE UP,
YA YELLAR BELLIED SIDEWINDER.
WE'LL BE MANY MOONS
OVER MIAMI BEFORE BIG
CHIEF GIVES UP.
THE BRAVE'S PRETTY
BRAVE FOR A COWARD.
ARE YOU A-COMING PEACEFUL LIKE,
OR AM I--
WHAT IS THIS?
CUSTARD'S LAST STAND?
THAT'S MY ASSISTANT,
LITTLE RUNNING GAG.
SURRENDER, BIG CHIEF.
YOU'RE SURROUNDED BY AN
ARMY OF 12,000 SOLDIERS.
THAT'S AN OLD MILITARY
PLOY WE CALL LYING.
DUCK BORN WITH SILVER
SPOON IN MOUTH
SPEAK WITH FORKED TONGUE.
IF YOU CAN DISH IT OUT,
I CAN TAKE IT.
MUCH MORE OF THIS AND I'LL
HAVE A FULL PLACE SETTING.
I'M GIVIN' YOU ONE
KILOWATT HOUR TO--
BUT, CONSIDERING THE SHODDY
TREATMENT YOUR PEOPLE HAVE
RECEIVED,
PERHAPS WE COULD DROP THE
WHOLE MATTER, HUH?
OOH, AAAH!
ARE YOU READING
MY COMIC BOOK?
WHO? ME?
YAAA!
I'VE GOT TO HAVE
SOME PRIVACY.
WHERE WAS I? OH, YEAH--
I'D JUST CHASED MEGAVOLT TO
THE POWER COMPANY BUILDING,
WHERE I WAS GOING TO
FINISH HIM OFF...
AND WHY AM I WEARING
A COWBOY HAT?
MUST HAVE BEEN A TYPO.
THIS IS IT, MEGAVOLT.
I'M PULLING THE PLUG ON YOU.
THAT'S DOUBTFUL, DUCK.
THERE'S NO STOPPING
THE UNSTOPPABLE.
BECAUSE I'VE JUST PERFECTED
MY NEW IMPROVED REMOTE
CONTROL.
I CAN NOW VARY THE
ELECTRIC COMPANY'S
OUTPUT AT WILL.
WITH CONTROLLED
POWER SURGES,
I CAN TRANSFORM ALL
HOUSEHOLD APPLIANCES
INTO SOLDIERS OF MY
PRIVATE ARMY.
GOING UP?
THIS IS WHAT I CALL AN
EXPRESS ELEVATOR.
YOU SURE YOU KNOW HOW
TO RUN THIS THING?
GOING DOWN.
I HOPE YOU HAVE
ELEVATOR INSURANCE.
YAAAAA!
A 14-MILE DROP AT THE
SPEED OF LIGHT--
WE COULD BE IN FOR
A ROUGH LANDING.
YAAAAA!
YAAAAA!
YAHOO, MR.
MALLARD.
OH, NO. NOT THAT
SACCHARIN SUBURBANITE.
I'VE BEEN LOOKING
ALL OVER FOR YOU.
YES, MRS. MUDDLEFOOT?
DO YOU HAVE SOME
GROUND CINNAMON WE
COULD BORROW?
DID HEMINGWAY HAVE
THIS PROBLEM?
OF COURSE NOT.
HE DIDN'T LIVE NEXT DOOR
TO THE MUDDLEFOOTS.
I'LL GET YOU A WHOLE
CINNAMON TREE.
THANKS YOU, BUT A
HALF A CUP WILL DO.
OH. AND WHAT'S THIS?
WHY, IT'S A COMIC BOOK.
WELL, HOW DARLING.
UH! OH, DEAR ME.
MY STARS! SUCH VIOLENCE!
WITH READING
MATERIAL LIKE THIS
IT'S NO WONDER SO MANY
CHILDREN GROW UP
TO BE CRUEL DICTATORS.
NOW, HOW CAN I MAKE THIS A
LITTLE LESS DEPLORABLE
AND A LITTLE MORE ADORABLE?
I KNOW-- IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL
SPRING MORNING...
AND LITTLE MR. BUNNY WAS
AS HAPPY AS COULD BE.
HE HAPPILY HIP-HOPPED UP
TO ROBIN REDBREAST
AND THEN...
WOULD YOU MIND CLEARING
OUT OF HERE?
I'D LIKE TO BE ALONE.
MY GOODNESS, NO. HE
DIDN'T SAY THAT.
THE LITTLE MR. BUNNY TURNED
TO THE BIRDIE AND SAID...
YOU DON'T WANT TO MAKE ME
LOSE MY TEMPER, DO YOU?
NO. NO, HE DIDN'T
SAY THAT EITHER.
OH, WHY, YOU'RE BACK.
AND SO SOON.
I GUESS THERE'S ONLY ONE
PLACE I WON'T BE DISTURBED.
AT LAST, I CAN FINISH
THIS THING IN PEACE.
LUCKILY WE LANDED
SOFTLY IN THIS...
SAY, L.P., WHERE
ARE WE ANYWAY?
YOU'VE GOT ME, BUT
IT SURE IS CUTE.
WE HAVE TO FIND
MEGAVOLT BEFORE--
I MAY HAVE TO HURT THAT GUY.
AH, DON'T BE TOO
HARD ON HIM, D.W.
HE'S JUST A--
I KNOW, I KNOW, I KNOW.
HE'S JUST A LITTLE RUNNING GAG.
COME ON. WE HAVE TO
DEFUSE MEGAVOLT.
THEY CALL ME MAD. THEY
CALL ME INSANE.
ALL RIGHT, BUT I'M
RUNNING THINGS NOW.
YOUR MAD SCHEME
WILL NEVER WORK,
YOU EGO-MANIACAL ELECTRON
FOR YOUR INFORMATION,
IT ALREADY HAS.
I WAS ON MY WAY
OVER HERE TO PAY MY
POWER BILL,
AFTER BORROWING MONEY
FROM THE BANK,
THEN I THOUGHT, HEY, WHY NOT
JUST TAKE OVER THE PLACE?
NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,
I HAVE A CITY TO DOMINATE.
I DID IT!
AND TOOK A GOOD 17 INCHES OFF
MY WAISTLINE IN THE PROCESS.
NOW TO SHORT CIRCUIT
THAT LUNATIC.
COME ON, LAUNCHPAD.
LET'S GET DANGEROUS!
DO WE HAVE TO GET THAT
DANGEROUS, D.W.?
COULDN'T WE JUST
TAKE THE STAIRS?
THE WHOLE CITY IS MINE.
AND TO THINK I NEVER EVEN
FINISHED REFORM SCHOOL.
YOU AGAIN!
THAT'S FAR ENOUGH,
SPARKPLUG BREATH!
GIVE ME THAT. IT'S
PRIVATE PROPERTY.
THAT A BOY,
DARKWING. GET 'EM.
SHOW 'EM WHO'S--
OOOH WHOOO HEEEE!
AH, MY MASTERPIECE!
MY BABY!
OH, MY SWEET DARLING.
YOU'RE THE APPLE OF MY EYE.
OOH, WHAT'S THIS?
A COMIC BOOK?
A COMIC BOOK STARRING
DARKWING DUCK?
WHAT'S THE WORLD COMING TO?
NO! NO! THIS IS
WRONG! ALL WRONG!
AND IN DEFINITE NEED OF REPAIR.
OK. AS DARKWING DUCK
AND THE MISUNDERSTOOD
GENIUS, MEGAVOLT,
STRUGGLE FOR THE REMOTE
CONTROL DEVICE...
I'VE HAD ALL I'M GONNA
TAKE FROM YOU, DUCK.
BEHOLD! I'M THE
NEW, THE IMPROVED,
MEGA, MAXIMUM MONDO MEGAVOLT!
AND YOU, DUCK, ARE TOAST.
IT WOULD APPEAR THAT
OUR BEST HOPE WOULD BE
A TACTICAL RETREAT!
DON'T WORRY, LAUNCHPAD.
MEGAVOLT MAY HAVE
SUPERIOR SIZE,
HE MAY HAVE
SUPERIOR POWER,
BUT I HAVE SUPERIOR
INTELLECT.
THEN AGAIN, LET'S NOT
UNDEREMPHASIZE POWER.
I WAS WONDERING WHAT
HAPPENED TO YOU.
WE'RE SAFE DOWN
HERE, LAUNCHPAD.
HE'S TOO BIG TO FIT IN.
YAAAA!
WHY CAN'T I GET A BREAK?
THIS THING'S DUE TOMORROW.
EVEN THE WIND'S AGAINST ME.
THIS PLACE LOOKS FAMILIAR.
AT LAST, I CAN TELL THE STORY
THE WAY IT SHOULD'VE HAPPENED.
TAMPERING WITH MY
MASTERPIECE, EH?
OOOH! DON'T YOU KNOW
HOW TO KNOCK?
YOUR LITTLE GAME IS OVER, YOU
REVOLTING REVISIONIST.
GIVE IT BACK SO I CAN
FINISH THE SCENE WHERE I
FINISH YOU OFF.
WRONG! IN THE LAST
SCENE, I'M GONNA
FINISH YOU OFF.
SORRY, PAL. THIS
THING'S REALITY-BASED.
YOU DON'T STAND A
CHANCE AGAINST ME.
THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK,
YOU HACKNEYED HACK.
IN THIS EDITION, I'M TEN TIMES
BIGGER AND MORE POWERFUL.
NO WAY! LET ME SEE THAT!
WHERE?
RIGHT THERE.
WHAT?! WHAT KIND OF SCIENCE
FICTION ARE YOU TRYING TO WRITE?
IF ANYTHING, YOU'RE TO
BE 20 TIMES SMALLER.
WHAT DO YOU THINK
YOU'RE DOING?
I'M BIGGER.
HAVE IT YOUR WAY. I CAN
BEAT YOU NO MATTER WHAT
SIZE SHOE YOU WEAR.
SAVED BY MY FAITHFUL
PET, SUPER BUNNY.
WAIT A MINUTE...
SINCE WHEN DO I HAVE A FAITHFUL
PET NAMED SUPER BUNNY?
IT'S A LITTLE EARLY
FOR EASTER.
ISN'T IT?
LISTEN, SUPER B.,
THERE'S ONLY ROOM FOR ONE
HERO IN THIS COMIC BOOK,
AND I GOT THE JOB.
SO BEAT IT!
NEVER SEND A BUNNY
TO DO A DUCK'S JOB.
IN HERE, D.W.!
GOOD GOING, LAUNCHPAD.
YOU'VE...
GOTTEN US INTO AN
EVEN BIGGER JAM.
I'VE HEARD OF
EATING THE SCENERY,
BUT THIS IS RIDICULOUS.
STRANGE? YES. BUT I'M NOT
ONE TO LOOK A GIFT HORSE IN
THE MOUTH.
HIYO, SILVER. AWAY!
THAT'S CHEATING.
WHOA, SILVER.
ALL RIGHT, DUCK, THIS IS
GONNA BE YOUR FINAL SCENE.
LOOKS LIKE HE'S GOT US
THIS TIME, D.W.
HA! I DON'T KNOW THE MEANING OF
THE WORD DEFEAT, LAUNCHPAD.
AHA. JUST WHAT WE
NEED RIGHT NOW--
A REFRESHING CUP OF COFFEE.
PUSH, LAUNCHPAD.
TASTE JAVA, BATTERY BRAIN.
AAAAAH! I'VE
BEEN PERCOLATED!
THAT'S NOT FAIR.
HOW COME YOU
GET TO WIN?
BECAUSE IT'S MY COMIC BOOK.
I'D LOVE TO CHEW
THE FAT, BABE,
BUT I'M LATE FOR A DATE WITH
COMIC BOOK IMMORTALITY.
SEE YOU IN THE FUNNY
PAPERS, PAL.
AH, WELL...
YES?
I HATE IT!
NO.
YES.
I'M ALSO REPELLED AND REPULSED,
REVILED AND REVOLTED BY IT.
I LOATHE AND ABHOR IT.
NOT TO MENTION DESPISING
AND DETESTING IT.
HOWEVER...
HOWEVER?
HOWEVER, I AM INTRIGUED BY
THE RABBIT CHARACTER
AND PLAN TO SPIN OFF
A NEW COMIC BOOK--
THE ADVENTURES OF SUPER BUNNY.
B-B-B-BU-BUNNY!
R-R-RA-RABBIT!
OF ALL THE--
SIR, I HAVE ONLY ONE RESPONSE TO
THIS DEVELOPMENT.
[ WHISTLES ]
COME, COME, LITTLE RUNNING GAG.
LET'S SEE IF WE CAN SELL
THIS EPIC TO DISNEY.
MAYBE THEY'LL MAKE A
TV SERIES OUT OF IT.