Darkwing Duck (1991–1992): Season 1, Episode 8 - Duck Blind - full transcript

When Darkwing Duck faces off against the electrically-charged and insane Megavolt, he is subjected to the blinding flash of supercharged light bulbs, leaving him unable to see. Dismissing Gosalyn's suggestions of setting the hero business aside, Darkwing tries many different methods of overcoming his new handicap, from a radio link with Launchpad to a thermo-audio sensor. However, nothing works, and he soon gives up on crime fighting, as well as life in general. Eventually, it's up to Gosalyn, Launchpad and Honker to try and re-inspire Darking to tackle Megavolt one last time. Even if they succeed, can he hope to defeat the villain while still blind?

♪ DARING DUCK OF MYSTERY ♪

♪ CHAMPION OF RIGHT ♪

♪ SWOOPS OUT
OF THE SHADOWS ♪

♪ DARKWING OF THE NIGHT ♪

♪ SOMEWHERE,
SOME VILLAIN SCHEMES ♪

♪ BUT HIS NUMBER'S UP ♪

3, 2, 1!

♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪

♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE,
YOU CALL D.W. ♪

♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪

LET'S GET DANGEROUS.



♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪

DARKWING, DARKWING DUCK!

♪ A CLOUD OF SMOKE
AND HE APPEARS ♪

♪ THE MASTER OF SURPRISE ♪

♪ WHO'S THAT CUNNING
MIND BEHIND ♪

♪ THE SHADOWY DISGUISE ♪

♪ NOBODY KNOWS FOR SURE ♪

♪ THE BAD GUYS
ARE OUT OF LUCK ♪

♪ HERE COMES ♪

♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪

LOOK OUT!

♪ WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE,
YOU CALL D.W. ♪

♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪

LET'S GET DANGEROUS!



♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪

♪ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT,
YOU BETTER CALL ♪

♪ DARKWING DUCK ♪♪

[SIRENS]

MMM, NICE FILAMENT.

[SQUEAKY VOICE] WE ARE GLAD
TO SEE YOU, MEGAVOLT.

[REGULAR VOICE]
THANK YOU, LITTLE LIGHT.

WANT TO LIVE WITH ME?

[SQUEAKY VOICE] THAT
WOULD BE VERY NICE.

NOW, THAT'S ONE
FOUR-STAR WACKO.

A WACKO NAMED MEGAVOLT.
I KNOW HIM TOO WELL.

WHY IS HE BEHIND
THIS BLACKOUT?

HE'S A WALKING
ELECTRIC DYNAMO.

HE GETS A
CHARGE FROM SHORT-
CIRCUITING CITIES.

STAY HERE IN CASE
HE VOLTS--BOLTS.

SLOWLY,
THE SILENT SCOURGE

STALKS HIS
UNSUSPECTING
ADVERSARY.

OW!

DARKWING DUCK!

DID I SPOIL YOUR
SHOPPING SPREE,
SPARKY?

BOY, I HATE WHEN YOU
CALL ME THAT!

OW.

AAH!

OOH!

AAH!

YIPE!

AND PEOPLE WONDER
WHY I WEAR A CAPE.

AT LAST! I GET TO PULL
THE PLUG ON DARKWING!

OOPS! LOOKS LIKE
I GOT A POWER OUTAGE.

HAPPY LANDINGS, DUCK.

HAND OVER THOSE BULBS.

WHAT'S WITH YOU?
CAN'T I HAVE HOBBIES?

AAH!

THIS GUY'S
A LIVE WIRE.

FORTUNATELY, WE HAVE
A PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVANTAGE.

BECAUSE WE'RE SANE
AND HE'S NOT?

NO. BECAUSE MEGAVOLT
IS AFRAID OF ME.

I SENT HIM TO THE
ELECTRIC CHAIR-- TWICE.

HI-YA!

NICE TOUCH,
ELECTROMAGNETIZING
STEAK KNIVES.

IT SURE IMPRESSED ME!

MAYBE YOU'D BETTER
HANG BACK.

NO PROBLEM!

YOU CAN'T RUN FOREVER.

NO, BUT YOU CAN.
HA HA HA HA HA!

LUCKY MY SUIT IS
PERMANENT PRESS.

OHH! I FEEL KIND
OF...RUN DOWN.

AHH!

I AM THE TERROR THAT
FLAPS IN THE NIGHT!

HAPPY FLAPPING!

OHH! HE'S USING
EVERYTHING--BUT
THE KITCHEN SINK.

I STAND CORRECTED.

YOU ARE NOT
A WELL PERSON.

WHAT, AND YOU'RE NORMAL?

"I'M THE COLD SORE
THAT STINGS YOUR LIP?"

WE'RE TALKING DEMENTED.

I'LL PUNCH OUT
YOUR LIGHTS.

LIGHTS? WHY, DARKWING,
I JUST FLASHED

ON HOW TO ESCAPE.

AAH!

HEY, STOP!

DARKWING! HE'S GETTING
AWA-AY-AY-AY!

HUH? DARKWING?

D.W.?

LAUNCHPAD, WOULD YOU
TURN ON THE LIGHTS?

UH...THEYARE ON.

OH, I SEE.

YOU SEE WHAT?

NOTHING.

[GULP]

ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

HOW LONG WILL HE
BE BLIND?

THE DOCTORS DON'T KNOW.

THOSE BRIGHT LIGHTS
GAVE HIM AN OVERLOAD.

THIS IS TERRIBLE.

IT SOUNDS BAD, BUT
YOUR DAD'S A TROUPER.

BLIND PEOPLE DO
ALL SORTS OF STUFF,

LIKE--LIKE--LIKE
JOHANN SEBASTIAN
BACH--

JOHANN PLAYED PIANO!

NOBODY WAS SHOOTING
AT HIM.

MY DAD KNOWS HOW
TO FIGHT CRIME.

WHAT'S HE GOING TO DO?

THERE. IS THAT
MORE COMFY?

NO. QUIT FUSSING.
I'M FINE.

FIND ME A ROBBERY,
A JAYWALKER, A STOCKBROKER.

ANY CROOK WILL DO.

SLOW DAY FOR CRIME.

GUESS WE'LL GO HOME.

MAYBE WE'LL GET A LEAD
ON THE RADIO.

GOOD IDEA, LAUNCHPAD.

YEAH, GREAT IDEA,
LAUNCHPAD.

YOW! WHAT'S WITH
THE RADIO?

...DENIES THE PRESIDENT'S
ALLERGIC TO WHIPPED CREAM.

THERE.
CLEAR AS A BELL.

WAIT. BACK UP.

[SCREECH]

NOW TIME FOR AIRDUCK
NEWS/WEATHER.

TOMORROW,
ST. CANARD CAN EXPECT

LOW FOG ALONG
THE--[STATIC].

I CAN'T SEE CRIMES,
BUT I HEAR THEM.

HEAR THAT STATIC?

TAKES A STRONG
ELECTRICAL FIELD

TO JAMTHUNDERQUACK'S
RADIO...

UNLESS...IT'S MEGAVOLT!

OF COURSE. THE DELUNIAN
AUTOMOBILE FACTORY.

WAY COOL!

THE DELUNIAN LIGHTEN.

FASTEST ELECTRIC CAR
ON THE ROAD!

AND A TEMPTING TARGET

FOR THAT
ELECTROMAGNETIC MANIAC.

HA HA HA!

TOO BAD I'M ABOUT TO
SIZZLE HIS CIRCUITS.

YOO-HOO!
EARTH TO DARKWING!

YOU CAN'T FIGHT MEGAVOLT.

YOU CAN'T SEE.

NO, BUT
LAUNCHPAD CAN.

READY, L.P.?

TESTING.
TESTING, 1, 2.

I HOPE THIS WORKS.

OF COURSE IT WILL WORK...

[BONG]

ONCE YOU GIVE ME
SOME DIRECTION.

[SCREECH]

OOH, NICE CAR.
VERY NICE CAR.

CADMIUM BATTERIES,
CORINTHIAN LEATHER.

SO EXPENSIVE.
SO ELECTRIC. SO--

SO WHAT?

I MEAN, TRY GETTING
SPARE PARTS.

DARKWING!

BUT ENOUGH PRELIMINARIES.

LET'S GET
TO THE MAIN EVENT.

WHAT DO YOU THINK...

PSST! TURN AROUND.

DIM BULB?

OOH-UHH! HYAH!
UHH-HOY!

MAYBE WE CAN
MAKE A DEAL...

OR MAYBE WE'LL GO
FOR A RIDE!

[ENGINE REVS]

TO THE LEFT. NOW!

THIS WOULD BE A GREAT
ARCADE GAME!

WE'LL CALL IT QUACKMAN!

JUMP!

HEY, IT'S WORKING!

[CRASH]

NO-OH-OH!

[TIRES SCREECH]

[CRASH]

OH, YOU POOR THING.

LOOK WHAT THAT MEAN
DARKWING HAS DONE TO YOU!

[ENGINE IDLES]

[ENGINE REVS]

OK, LAUNCHPAD,
WHICH WAY?

LAUNCHPAD?

I CAN'T HEAR YOU.

HERE GOES.

[CRASH]

HYAH! WUYAH-HEY!

HYAH! OOH-AHH!
MUNAH!

UH-OH.

OHHH!

NOT MY DELUNIAN!

[BEEP BEEP
BEEP BEEP]

YOU'VE RUINED
EVERYTHING!

OW! HEY! WHAT--

WILL YOU LET ME GO?

YAAAAH!

ONE ORDER OF PRESSED
DUCK TO GO. HA HA!

I DON'T LIKE
THE SOUND OF THIS.

[CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH]

[CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH]

AWW, NUTS!
IT'S LOCKED!

NUTS? YEAH, NUTS!

[PANTING]

HUH?

[SPLASH]

FORE!

HEH HEH!
HOLE IN ONE.

[SPUTTERING]

YOU MAKE A BIGGER
MESS THAN ME.

[SIRENS]

P-POLICE.

UNLESS WE WANT TO
PLAY 20 QUESTIONS,

LET'S JET!

HEY, LET GO!

TAKE YOUR HANDS--
QUIT THAT.

STRANGE.
WHY'S DARKWING BEING
LED AROUND LIKE A...

OHH! OHH!
THIS--THIS IS GOOD.

HE'S BEEN PLAYING
BLIND MAN'S
BLUFF...FOR REAL!

WHICH GIVES ME
A REALLY BRIGHT IDEA.

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYS]

DAD.

YOO-HOO.

HMM. WHAT HE CAN'T SEE
WON'T HURT HIM.

UH-UH-UH!

HEY! OHH! D-DAD!

DON'T D-DAD ME,
YOUNG LADY.

NO SNACKS.

WHAT'S WITH
THE ROBODUCK GETUP?

MY MISTAKE WAS DEPENDING
ON SOMEONE TO GUIDE ME,

BUT DARKWING MUST
BE INDEPENDENT,

SELF-SUFFICIENT.

NOW, THANKS TO HONKER,
I CAN FIGHT CRIME.

WAY TO GO, HONK.

LET THE COPS
CATCH CROOKS FROM NOW ON.

FROM NOW ON?

THE DOCTOR SAID
IT'S TEMPORARY.

MAYBE, UNLESS YOU GET
KILLED IN THE MEANTIME.

THANKS FOR THE SUPPORT,
MISS CHEERFUL THOUGHTS.

BUT FEAR NOT.

WITH THIS SENSORY-
ENHANCING EQUIPMENT,

I'M READY FOR ANYTHING.

I'M BACK WITH--HEY, LOVE
THE HALLOWEEN COSTUME.

HOW DID YOU KNOW
TO DO THAT?

MY ULTRA-AUDIOTRONS
ALLOWED ME TO HEAR
LAUNCHPAD COMING,

LIKE I HEARD YOU
RAIDING THE COOKIE
JAR.

MY INFRARED
INTERPRETOMETER

TELLS WHAT'S
INSIDE THE BAG.

MY REMOTE MASS
ANALYZER

TELLS LAUNCHPAD'S
HEIGHT, WEIGHT,
AND HOROSCOPE.

I STILL DON'T--YOW!
WHAT'S WITH MY SQUAWKMAN?

RISE AND SHINE,
ST. CANARD.

IT'S YOUR WAKE-UP CALL.

THAT'S MEGAVOLT.

HELLO TO YOU,
DARKWING DORK.

♪ THREE BLIND MICE,
THREE BLIND MICE ♪♪

SORRY. AN IN JOKE.

HE KNOWS YOU'RE BLIND.

NOW, FOR THOSE OF YOU
WHO LIKE CLUES,

IF YOU WANT TO DEFEAT ME,

MEET ME AT FIRST LIGHT.

WE RETURN YOU TO YOUR
SCHEDULED PROGRAM.

BE SEEING YOU,
DARKWING. HA HA!

HE WANTS A SHOWDOWN
AT DAWN?

NO. FIRST LIGHT
ISN'T SUNRISE.

TO MEGAVOLT,
IT'S THE FIRST
LIGHT BULB.

HERE YOU GO.
THE HALL OF INVENTION.

KEEP THE MOTOR
RUNNING. WHOA!

I'LL BE RIGHT OUT
WITH MEGAVOLT.

NO. WE'RE GOING, TOO.

OK. STAY LOW.
THIS MAY BE A TRAP.

HELLO, LIGHT
OF MY LIFE.

WANT TO COME HOME
WITH UNCLE MEGAVOLT?

VISITING HOURS
ARE OVER, BLINKY.

CUTE. ALL YOU NEED IS
A LION, A SCARECROW,
AND TOTO,

BUT YOU'RE NOT
IN KANSAS ANYMORE.

THIS GRIM REAPER
WILL SEPARATE THE WHEAT
FROM THE CHAFF.

WAIT! HE'S USING
HIS THREAD ASSESSOR
ON MEGAVOLT'S SUIT.

[BEEP BEEP BEEP]

TARGET LOCKED.

I THOUGHT
YOU WERE BLIND.

HOW DID YOU DO THAT?

RENT THE VIDEO.

MEANWHILE,
I'M GOING TO...

YOU WOULDN'T HIT PAUSE
WHILE I FIX THIS, HUH?

LOOK OUT!
RUNAWAY WEAPONS!

THE NUMBER YOU'VE REACHED
ISN'T IN SERVICE.

BAD BREAK DARKWING,
BUT...

IF YOU CAN'T STAND
THE HEAT, TOUGH.

HA HA HA HA HA!

[COUGHING]
[COUGHING]

YIPE!

D.W.!

DAD!

GOSALYN! OH, NO!

LAUNCHPAD, GET THE KIDS
OUT TO THE THUNDER--QUACK.

[COUGHING]
[COUGHING]

LOOK!

CAN YOU FLY IT?

IF IT'S GOT A WING,
WE'VE GOT A PRAYER.

WHEW! THAT WAS
A CLOSE ONE.

TOO CLOSE.

MY STUPID EQUIPMENT
AND FOOLISH PRIDE

ALMOST GOT YOU
KILLED.

WELL, YEAH, THAT'S TRUE.

LAUNCHPAD!

THE IMPORTANT THIS
IS WE'RE OK, RIGHT,
DARKWING?

OH, JUST STICK
TO DRAKE.

FROM NOW ON, THERE IS
NO MORE DARKWING DUCK.

I QUIT.

[THUNDER]

BOY! SOME STORM
OUT THERE.

YO, HONK, GOSALYN.
HOW'S YOUR DAD?

YOU MEAN
MR. WOE-IS-ME?

[PLAYS HARMONICA]

♪ I GOT THOSE HAS-BEEN
SUPERHERO ♪

♪ HAS-BEEN
SUPERHERO BLUES ♪♪

I WANTED HIM TO QUIT
CRIMEFIGHTING,

BUT HE'S GIVEN UP
ON EVERYTHING.

LEAVE HIM TO
THE OLD LAUNCHPAD.

[PLAYS HARMONICA]

IT'S ONE THING
QUITTING BEING
A HERO,

BUT YOU CAN'T
QUIT LIFE.

WHERE'S OUR
NEVER-SAY-DIE GUY?

WHAT'S IT MATTER?
I'M USELESS.

A SPARE SOCK
IN LIFE'S HAMPER.

WE STILL THINK YOU'RE THE
GREATEST, RIGHT, HONKER?

ABSOLUTELY.

IF I'M SO GOOD,

WHY COULDN'T I STOP
MEGAVOLT?

MAYBE YOU STILL CAN.

FORGET IT, GOSALYN.
YOU SAID IT YOURSELF.

LET THE POLICE
HANDLE HIM.

SURE. OF COURSE,
BUT FOR ARGUMENT'S
SAKE,

IF YOUWERE GOING
AFTER HIM,

WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

I'D CATCH HIM OFF GUARD
AT HIS HIDEOUT.

WE'D HAVE TO FIND IT.

THAT WOULD BE
HARD.

MEGAVOLT USES
LOTS OF ELECTRICITY.

I'D TAP INTO THE DWP'S COMPUTER
AND LOOK FOR SURGES.

MAKES SENSE.
PUNCH IT!

SHANGHAIED BY KIDS
AND A CRASH-CRAZY AVIATOR.

HOW THE MIGHTY
HAVE FALLEN.

CHILL OUT. YOU FIGURED OUT
WHERE TO FIND MEGAVOLT.

THE LIGHTHOUSE
AT BEAKER'S POINT!

NO PROOF. SOMEBODY HAS
TO SCOPE IT OUT.

NOW YOU'RE TALKING!

I'M NOT GOING!

I'M OUT OF THE
CRIMEBUSTING BUSINESS.

BE RIGHT BACK.

WE'RE GOING
TO LOOK AROUND.

IF MEGAVOLT'S THERE,
WE'LL CALL THE ARMY.

GOT YOU.

COME ON, GANG.
LET'S GET DANGEROUS.

[HUMMING]

OK, BE EXTREMELY
QUIET.

[DOOR CREAKS LOUDLY]

HOW ABOUT SLIGHTLY QUIET?

YOU'RE SURE THIS IS
A GOOD PLAN?

IT'S GREAT.
WE SPOT MEGAVOLT,

DARKWING SAYS, "I'M
THE TERROR...BLAH,
BLAH,"

AND WE PLAY
"BOP THE BAD GUY."

[ALARM SOUNDS]

GOT ANY OTHER PLANS?

JUST ONE. RUN!

AHH, HOW NICE.

AAH!

WHOA!
WHOA!
WHOA!

IT SEEMS I'VE ATTRACTED
SOME GUESTS.

OH, PERFECT.
MEGAVOLT SPOTTED THEM.

KIND OF LATE TO BE
HOUSE SHOPPING.

YEAH, BUT YOU GOT
A GREAT PLACE.

TELL YOU WHAT--
SPRING FOR NEW CARPETS,
WE'LL TAKE IT.

PLEASE. I KNOW YOU.

YOU'RE THE DARKWING
DUCK FAN CLUB.

YES. IN FACT, WE'RE
HAVING A MEMBERSHIP DRIVE.

TOLD YOU HE'D COME.

NOW WE CAN FRY
TOGETHER.

GIVE IT UP, DUCK.

I GOT THE WEAPONS,
THE HOME ADVANTAGE,

AND YOU CAN'T SEE!

YOU LOST
YOUR SENSES?

ONE. I'VE GOT OTHERS.

JUDGING BY THE HEAT,
I'M UNDER A LIGHT.

OBSERVANT,
FOR A BLIND DUCK.

THANKS EVER SO.

I KNOW WHY YOU'RE
CALLED DARKWING.

YOU'VE ALWAYS
BEEN IN THE DARK.

I'M SO HURT. HYAH!

THAT OUGHT TO
EVEN THINGS.

NICE TRY, BUT
I'M TIRED OF YOU
BUSTING MY BULBS.

TAKE THAT AND THAT,
AND DON'T FORGET THIS.

WHOA!

OHH! OOH! OOH!

YOU COULDN'T HAVE--
YOU COULDN'T HAVE--

BLAST YOU!
YOU'RE HANDICAPPED!

WE PREFER THE TERM
"PHYSICALLY CHALLENGED."

YES,
EVILDOERS EVERYWHERE,

BEWARE THAT GRIM
GUARDIAN OF GOOD,

THAT NOCTURNAL NEMESIS
OF NE'ER-DO-WELLS--

DARKWING DUCK!

THAT'SMOI.

[BOING]

AAAH!

[ALARM SOUNDS]

HIDE YOUR EYES!

AAH!
AAH!
AAH!

I HAVEN'T SEEN
FIREWORKS LIKE THAT

SINCE
THE COUNTY FAIR.

DAD! HONKER, GIVE ME
YOUR FLASHLIGHT.

HEY! WATCH WHERE
YOU SHINE THAT.

HEY, I CAN SEE?

I CAN SEE!

GEE, D.W., GUESS ALL YOU
NEEDED WAS ANOTHER SHOCK.

AMAZING! FABULOUS!
NOT BAD AT ALL.

YOU'RE A SIGHT
FOR SORE EYES.

OHH, DAD.

UH-OH!