Crimi Clowns (2012–…): Season 2, Episode 1 - Paters JezuÏeten - full transcript
Gentlemen of the jury...
...masters in the seventh art...
...after four years of study, I was denied entry to your renowned institute.
Because of -what was it again?-
norm-breaking behaviour.
But as you can see, I completed my thesis on my own.
With this !
Lots of viewing pleasure with Crimi Clowns season two.
And the adventures of clowns Norry,
Papalou
and Mini Mike.
Their day job.
Their night shift.
And... their fun nights out.
Do you remember what happened last time?
It all started with an idea from little Don.
What do you think? Can we do something with her?
Why do you suddenly want to work with her?
To fuck over the patron.
Partron. You leave my wife alone,
or I'll give you a beating you won't forget.
And then little Don had another idea.
And another one.
And then one of them got angry.
Very angry.
Lou !
Uh oh, this isn't going to end well.
Hi, Patron.
Luckily you had that revolver in your pocket.
Yes, otherwise you wouldn't be sitting here.
I'm going to cancel that gig.
You can't do that, they can trace that.
Wesley is right. You should act as if nothing happened.
Come on guys, the Patron was my best friend.
I thought I was ? - Jealous bitch.
I'm cancelling.
Bad idea !
I can't perform after what happened.
I also performed when the Jay was gone.
But he wasn't dead. - You did try your best.
What ?! - The whole town knows
that you threw him off the bridge.
Because he was snitching on us. - Dude!
He was reporting to our boss because you can't be trusted!
And that was my friend.
That gun should have been in the canal for a long time now.
Who says that ?
My mother.
Can you hear how ridiculous you sound? And I've been hearing that for ten years now.
bang. Throw him into the water yourself, mama's boy.
Are you also working with the Jos behind my back?
Kiss my balls.
Are we expecting someone?
Oh oh.
The Patron said he was going to kill you.
He locked me in the toilet, I thought he'd be here already, you were dead.
I am so scared. - You don't have to be afraid.
You must not be afraid.
I would have thought so.
You haven't changed a bit, have you, Ronny. - You don't know what you're talking about, Ma.
No ? But you see wat happens.
Did he tell you what just happened here?
Np.
I came to live here.
You can go up here.
Come on, dude!
You can put it here somewhere.
It is here that we must enter. Voila.
Good day.
Good afternoon. - Good day. Hello, Santa Claus.
Good day, good children.
Oops, there's a nest right here.
Hello, Santa Claus. - Hi, Ronny.
Michael, god damn it! Buddy.
Lou, Wesley, sir, miss.
I thought you had a few months of leave without pay left?
Released earlier due to good behavior.
Good behavior, you?
I don't understand either.
Come on, and saying how I used to be afraid of Zwarte Piet.
Jumped off a bridge. - The Jay?
What do you think?
I swear. - Come on!
Probably very drunk.
And some pills and some lines, you know him, right?
Where did you hear that? - In the "Tivoli".
I heard he got assaulted.
Seriously ? By who ?
By two faggots from the Kouros. - Come on.
Man, man, man.
Do you still deal brown, Wes? - Yes.
What is your frienddiscount for Sinterklaas?
In spheres or per gram?
In grams, it's for resale. - Fifteen euros.
Ok, 100 grams for me, and 50 for Zwarte Piet.
Clown Norry & co. - Yes.
Showtime ! - Buddy.
Good day everyone!
Perpetrator identified
as Abdel Ben Sala, 24 years old, Borgerhout.
We still remember how during a multicultural encounter
in the Belgian Borgerhout our dwarf surgeon on duty
performed a bilateral vasectomy with a Pietta Colt 44.
And this on the captain of the organizing club Youssef El Amrami.
Since then, it has become quiet around our Mahgrebi friends.
But today they are making themselves heard again.
About again to the place of disaster,
in the indoor shopping paradise of Wijnegem.
He floored it and drove off with all my stickers.
Well.
And he wasn't young either, a man in his forties.
You're serious? - Voilà, that's closed.
They will go through the medical imaging in the hospital.
What a story. - He was I-don't-know-how kind.
Is it as ugly as last year? - He said: what print's on it this time?
There are action heroes on it this time.
And you can win a Skoda.
A Skoda! I've dreamt of that all my life.
He said we'll take all of your stickers. All of them ? Then I'll definitely win.
I say: 250 stickers. 500 stickers, that's 500 euros, sir.
That's 1,000 euros, sir.
500 euros that's cheap for a Skoda, right, madame.
I see him take his money, I give all my stickers.
And there, he's gone.
And do you have to pay for all of those stickers yourself?
No, they immediately gave me new stickers.
Thousand euros, how should I pay that?
Precisely.
I mean, it was only 250 stickers.
He just stole 500 euros from the red cross.
The schoele. - Not to be surprised
that the red cross has to beg because they can't get by.
What is a schoele?
What is it, Mike, do you still have to go to the hospital for an image of your head?
No shot, I've had a rock hit my head many times before.
What is a schoele!? - You are!
Kitty, get some sleep maybe. - I can't sleep, haven't for weeks.
When you can no longer sleep, you have to start watching out.
Your dreams are your contact with heaven.
If the gods take that away from you forever, then you've got a problem.
Then you are an easy target.
Take a pill.
I'm already taking so many.
Something slow , to slowly fall asleep.
Yeah, I know that, Stilnoct and shit like that.
No, I don't fall asleep until morning
and a few hours later I wake up tired as hell.
Then you take something tougher.
Wes.
What is that ? I think it's a little scary.
Drink it.
That's GHB.
I don't know it.
Makes you very sleepy.
Ew, that tastes like laundry detergent.
Well, I don't feel anything.
And they arrived and that dog was still hanging there.
And ? - She's asleep.
Ok.
Have you heard of the Patron yet?
Nothing, dude.
I'm kind of worried about that girl. That man is not doing well.
thats's a handsome kid, has everything going for her
and she falls for the wrong guys
Wim Leblanc. - Do you do data destruction?
Insurance company. - Is that job still going on?
We will know soon. Are you ready, Mike?
Yes, Ronny.
What ? You're not going to take that shrimp, are you?
What did you think?
Come on, that whole game is being filmed by at least 20 cameras.
What are you going to do, put stilts on him so they don't recognize him?
Louke, shut up. You're not dealing with a retard, dude.
Yes, Wim, tell me.
Lou, write it down. Mike, take note.
S E C, F or S ? F.
That's it. But we enter sideways.
5, 8, 7, 2, 8, hash, hash, F.
Are you okay, Dad?
What happened on the stairs? Felt sick?
That wasn't good, was it, everything started spinning.
I think I should start jogging again.
I think you should cut back on the sosa a bit.
Have I been sniffing more lately?
You'll sniff your nasalbone to bits when you're older.
Come on, Ronny, two more floors.
Lou !
Yes.
This and this.
That's already loose.
Listen.
That sounds like... - A couple fucking.
Wes, what are you going to do? - Check it out.
For a moment I thought...
...this is going very wrong.
I have to go after this.
But what if I catch them?
Kill them?
Doesn't it get very complicated then?
Here, Wes.
Where are the surveillance images? - Figure that out at home, dude.
Say, what was that noise?
A guy who was jerking off?
That's a goddamn epidemic lately.
Everyone is just watching nasty videos.
Do you know it ruins the economy?
I predicted that, the internet makes people dickjerkers.
Hear who's talking.
Everything OK ?
Clear course, Mike. Like in the handbook of a good thief.
If that dickjerker didn't hear us.
If that dickjerker had heard us,
we would've been sitting in the police's party-van for a while now.
Huh, Wes?
Yes, yes.
All good, Wes? - It's okay.
Dickjerker? - What ?
A dickjerker!?
Yes. We are the Jesuit Fathers.
We play with each other's dicks.
We are together and we will stay together.
We are the Jesuit Fathers.
We are the Dominican friars.
We have dicks like bananas.
We have fun in other's holes.
We are the Dominican friars.
How are you, Wes?
yes.
You're quiet.
Is there something I don't know of? - No, I'm having a bit of trouble with my stomach.
Four gentlemen and a nine.
Are you still up? - Yes, the girl couldn't sleep.
She is afraid that the Patron will come looking for her.
But Kitty.
And you ? - I am old.
So ? - Old people don't sleep.
Four gentlemen and a farmer.
Congrats.
fuck !
You are playing for money. - Oh, it's just change.
How much have you lost already? - 220 euros.
Change.
Villa Tersago, Brasschaat. Thursday morning December 1, seven o'clock.
Hospital call, intensive care.
Amberke, Amberke,
of course she was using the coke she stole from us.
And you know your sister, don't you, Wesley, she can't stop.
That's from the heroin.
What ?
She injected heroin that they stole from us.
There really was a lot of inocetol in it. Really fucked up.
Is our Amber using the brown? - Yes.
Your sister shoots heroin, Wes! - Yes.
Since when ? - A few months.
I try to get her off of it, but that EZ just keeps pushing her.
Goddamnit ! Do you know where he lives?
I'm working on it.
I'll fucking destroy him, dude.
Now we're talking!
Are you afraid? - Yes.
That I'm going to lose everything and everyone I love.
Man, man, man.
Amber.
Ronny, is she still?
Oh please, say it's not true.
But please, Ronny, tell me it's not true!
Hey, honey.
My darling.
She was always the nicest and the sweetest.
Never talked back.
Was always happy.
And if something went wrong, she would say: Oh, stuff happens, right, Mama.
My darling.
I told you not to let a child taste weed
at fourteen! - Then they do it behind your back
and you have no clue what nasty stuff they use then.
I've already told you a hundred times! - It's enough, huh, now we're here!
Are you going to be quiet now, god damn it!
How come she uses heroin? None of us have ever done that.
That boyfriend she's with.
That's the city's biggest pusher.
She had been together for a week and she was already using the brown.
I swear, Wesley, if I get my hands on that bastard...
I'll personally destroy him.
Cut up, with what?
Inocetol.
What is that ? - Scammery.
What kind of bastard does such a thing? - Me.
for what?
Because we made 10 times more off of it.
Yes?
So.
wesley. - EZ
He's still in dreamland.
You're the daddy and mommy, I assume.
Hi. I'm her friend.
I'm glad to see you.
What ?
I'm glad to see you. - Yes Yes.
Yes, papa.
Well, it's a pity that under these circumstances we...
What ?
He meets me for the first time and he already calls me dad.
Hey, don't, without gloves! - It's not completely through.
Can I do something ?
Go get a wheelchair.
What did you stela? - Just the drug money in rolls.
Didn't you take anything from his wallet?
That too.
How much did you leave? - More than a thousand euros.
What was in that shot?
Heroin, the same filth he made Amber inject.
How much ? - Enough.
Enough or too much? - Too much.
So she's dead in a bit? - Sure. Maybe already.
You just killed him? - That's what you wanted, isn't it?
God damn it, Wes, what are we doing?
By destroying one such bastard, we save 20 lives.
Can't you see that he's dead? - That's allowed, right?
Rather not.
I'd rather they don't find him until tomorrow.
Otherwise, park it in the back.
No.
Wait.
Good, right ? - Much better.
Rachel.
Yes, yes.
Your sister is out of coma.
You do that well.
Pussy.
I almost died, didn't I.
Now you're going to stay off the drugs, right, girl.
Yes.
Has EZ not visited yet?
Who ?
My boyfriend. - No.
...masters in the seventh art...
...after four years of study, I was denied entry to your renowned institute.
Because of -what was it again?-
norm-breaking behaviour.
But as you can see, I completed my thesis on my own.
With this !
Lots of viewing pleasure with Crimi Clowns season two.
And the adventures of clowns Norry,
Papalou
and Mini Mike.
Their day job.
Their night shift.
And... their fun nights out.
Do you remember what happened last time?
It all started with an idea from little Don.
What do you think? Can we do something with her?
Why do you suddenly want to work with her?
To fuck over the patron.
Partron. You leave my wife alone,
or I'll give you a beating you won't forget.
And then little Don had another idea.
And another one.
And then one of them got angry.
Very angry.
Lou !
Uh oh, this isn't going to end well.
Hi, Patron.
Luckily you had that revolver in your pocket.
Yes, otherwise you wouldn't be sitting here.
I'm going to cancel that gig.
You can't do that, they can trace that.
Wesley is right. You should act as if nothing happened.
Come on guys, the Patron was my best friend.
I thought I was ? - Jealous bitch.
I'm cancelling.
Bad idea !
I can't perform after what happened.
I also performed when the Jay was gone.
But he wasn't dead. - You did try your best.
What ?! - The whole town knows
that you threw him off the bridge.
Because he was snitching on us. - Dude!
He was reporting to our boss because you can't be trusted!
And that was my friend.
That gun should have been in the canal for a long time now.
Who says that ?
My mother.
Can you hear how ridiculous you sound? And I've been hearing that for ten years now.
bang. Throw him into the water yourself, mama's boy.
Are you also working with the Jos behind my back?
Kiss my balls.
Are we expecting someone?
Oh oh.
The Patron said he was going to kill you.
He locked me in the toilet, I thought he'd be here already, you were dead.
I am so scared. - You don't have to be afraid.
You must not be afraid.
I would have thought so.
You haven't changed a bit, have you, Ronny. - You don't know what you're talking about, Ma.
No ? But you see wat happens.
Did he tell you what just happened here?
Np.
I came to live here.
You can go up here.
Come on, dude!
You can put it here somewhere.
It is here that we must enter. Voila.
Good day.
Good afternoon. - Good day. Hello, Santa Claus.
Good day, good children.
Oops, there's a nest right here.
Hello, Santa Claus. - Hi, Ronny.
Michael, god damn it! Buddy.
Lou, Wesley, sir, miss.
I thought you had a few months of leave without pay left?
Released earlier due to good behavior.
Good behavior, you?
I don't understand either.
Come on, and saying how I used to be afraid of Zwarte Piet.
Jumped off a bridge. - The Jay?
What do you think?
I swear. - Come on!
Probably very drunk.
And some pills and some lines, you know him, right?
Where did you hear that? - In the "Tivoli".
I heard he got assaulted.
Seriously ? By who ?
By two faggots from the Kouros. - Come on.
Man, man, man.
Do you still deal brown, Wes? - Yes.
What is your frienddiscount for Sinterklaas?
In spheres or per gram?
In grams, it's for resale. - Fifteen euros.
Ok, 100 grams for me, and 50 for Zwarte Piet.
Clown Norry & co. - Yes.
Showtime ! - Buddy.
Good day everyone!
Perpetrator identified
as Abdel Ben Sala, 24 years old, Borgerhout.
We still remember how during a multicultural encounter
in the Belgian Borgerhout our dwarf surgeon on duty
performed a bilateral vasectomy with a Pietta Colt 44.
And this on the captain of the organizing club Youssef El Amrami.
Since then, it has become quiet around our Mahgrebi friends.
But today they are making themselves heard again.
About again to the place of disaster,
in the indoor shopping paradise of Wijnegem.
He floored it and drove off with all my stickers.
Well.
And he wasn't young either, a man in his forties.
You're serious? - Voilà, that's closed.
They will go through the medical imaging in the hospital.
What a story. - He was I-don't-know-how kind.
Is it as ugly as last year? - He said: what print's on it this time?
There are action heroes on it this time.
And you can win a Skoda.
A Skoda! I've dreamt of that all my life.
He said we'll take all of your stickers. All of them ? Then I'll definitely win.
I say: 250 stickers. 500 stickers, that's 500 euros, sir.
That's 1,000 euros, sir.
500 euros that's cheap for a Skoda, right, madame.
I see him take his money, I give all my stickers.
And there, he's gone.
And do you have to pay for all of those stickers yourself?
No, they immediately gave me new stickers.
Thousand euros, how should I pay that?
Precisely.
I mean, it was only 250 stickers.
He just stole 500 euros from the red cross.
The schoele. - Not to be surprised
that the red cross has to beg because they can't get by.
What is a schoele?
What is it, Mike, do you still have to go to the hospital for an image of your head?
No shot, I've had a rock hit my head many times before.
What is a schoele!? - You are!
Kitty, get some sleep maybe. - I can't sleep, haven't for weeks.
When you can no longer sleep, you have to start watching out.
Your dreams are your contact with heaven.
If the gods take that away from you forever, then you've got a problem.
Then you are an easy target.
Take a pill.
I'm already taking so many.
Something slow , to slowly fall asleep.
Yeah, I know that, Stilnoct and shit like that.
No, I don't fall asleep until morning
and a few hours later I wake up tired as hell.
Then you take something tougher.
Wes.
What is that ? I think it's a little scary.
Drink it.
That's GHB.
I don't know it.
Makes you very sleepy.
Ew, that tastes like laundry detergent.
Well, I don't feel anything.
And they arrived and that dog was still hanging there.
And ? - She's asleep.
Ok.
Have you heard of the Patron yet?
Nothing, dude.
I'm kind of worried about that girl. That man is not doing well.
thats's a handsome kid, has everything going for her
and she falls for the wrong guys
Wim Leblanc. - Do you do data destruction?
Insurance company. - Is that job still going on?
We will know soon. Are you ready, Mike?
Yes, Ronny.
What ? You're not going to take that shrimp, are you?
What did you think?
Come on, that whole game is being filmed by at least 20 cameras.
What are you going to do, put stilts on him so they don't recognize him?
Louke, shut up. You're not dealing with a retard, dude.
Yes, Wim, tell me.
Lou, write it down. Mike, take note.
S E C, F or S ? F.
That's it. But we enter sideways.
5, 8, 7, 2, 8, hash, hash, F.
Are you okay, Dad?
What happened on the stairs? Felt sick?
That wasn't good, was it, everything started spinning.
I think I should start jogging again.
I think you should cut back on the sosa a bit.
Have I been sniffing more lately?
You'll sniff your nasalbone to bits when you're older.
Come on, Ronny, two more floors.
Lou !
Yes.
This and this.
That's already loose.
Listen.
That sounds like... - A couple fucking.
Wes, what are you going to do? - Check it out.
For a moment I thought...
...this is going very wrong.
I have to go after this.
But what if I catch them?
Kill them?
Doesn't it get very complicated then?
Here, Wes.
Where are the surveillance images? - Figure that out at home, dude.
Say, what was that noise?
A guy who was jerking off?
That's a goddamn epidemic lately.
Everyone is just watching nasty videos.
Do you know it ruins the economy?
I predicted that, the internet makes people dickjerkers.
Hear who's talking.
Everything OK ?
Clear course, Mike. Like in the handbook of a good thief.
If that dickjerker didn't hear us.
If that dickjerker had heard us,
we would've been sitting in the police's party-van for a while now.
Huh, Wes?
Yes, yes.
All good, Wes? - It's okay.
Dickjerker? - What ?
A dickjerker!?
Yes. We are the Jesuit Fathers.
We play with each other's dicks.
We are together and we will stay together.
We are the Jesuit Fathers.
We are the Dominican friars.
We have dicks like bananas.
We have fun in other's holes.
We are the Dominican friars.
How are you, Wes?
yes.
You're quiet.
Is there something I don't know of? - No, I'm having a bit of trouble with my stomach.
Four gentlemen and a nine.
Are you still up? - Yes, the girl couldn't sleep.
She is afraid that the Patron will come looking for her.
But Kitty.
And you ? - I am old.
So ? - Old people don't sleep.
Four gentlemen and a farmer.
Congrats.
fuck !
You are playing for money. - Oh, it's just change.
How much have you lost already? - 220 euros.
Change.
Villa Tersago, Brasschaat. Thursday morning December 1, seven o'clock.
Hospital call, intensive care.
Amberke, Amberke,
of course she was using the coke she stole from us.
And you know your sister, don't you, Wesley, she can't stop.
That's from the heroin.
What ?
She injected heroin that they stole from us.
There really was a lot of inocetol in it. Really fucked up.
Is our Amber using the brown? - Yes.
Your sister shoots heroin, Wes! - Yes.
Since when ? - A few months.
I try to get her off of it, but that EZ just keeps pushing her.
Goddamnit ! Do you know where he lives?
I'm working on it.
I'll fucking destroy him, dude.
Now we're talking!
Are you afraid? - Yes.
That I'm going to lose everything and everyone I love.
Man, man, man.
Amber.
Ronny, is she still?
Oh please, say it's not true.
But please, Ronny, tell me it's not true!
Hey, honey.
My darling.
She was always the nicest and the sweetest.
Never talked back.
Was always happy.
And if something went wrong, she would say: Oh, stuff happens, right, Mama.
My darling.
I told you not to let a child taste weed
at fourteen! - Then they do it behind your back
and you have no clue what nasty stuff they use then.
I've already told you a hundred times! - It's enough, huh, now we're here!
Are you going to be quiet now, god damn it!
How come she uses heroin? None of us have ever done that.
That boyfriend she's with.
That's the city's biggest pusher.
She had been together for a week and she was already using the brown.
I swear, Wesley, if I get my hands on that bastard...
I'll personally destroy him.
Cut up, with what?
Inocetol.
What is that ? - Scammery.
What kind of bastard does such a thing? - Me.
for what?
Because we made 10 times more off of it.
Yes?
So.
wesley. - EZ
He's still in dreamland.
You're the daddy and mommy, I assume.
Hi. I'm her friend.
I'm glad to see you.
What ?
I'm glad to see you. - Yes Yes.
Yes, papa.
Well, it's a pity that under these circumstances we...
What ?
He meets me for the first time and he already calls me dad.
Hey, don't, without gloves! - It's not completely through.
Can I do something ?
Go get a wheelchair.
What did you stela? - Just the drug money in rolls.
Didn't you take anything from his wallet?
That too.
How much did you leave? - More than a thousand euros.
What was in that shot?
Heroin, the same filth he made Amber inject.
How much ? - Enough.
Enough or too much? - Too much.
So she's dead in a bit? - Sure. Maybe already.
You just killed him? - That's what you wanted, isn't it?
God damn it, Wes, what are we doing?
By destroying one such bastard, we save 20 lives.
Can't you see that he's dead? - That's allowed, right?
Rather not.
I'd rather they don't find him until tomorrow.
Otherwise, park it in the back.
No.
Wait.
Good, right ? - Much better.
Rachel.
Yes, yes.
Your sister is out of coma.
You do that well.
Pussy.
I almost died, didn't I.
Now you're going to stay off the drugs, right, girl.
Yes.
Has EZ not visited yet?
Who ?
My boyfriend. - No.