Crimi Clowns (2012–…): Season 1, Episode 9 - Een Boulet Voor 't Wachten - full transcript
After Jos Den Dief's Porsche was vandalized by the Morooccan street gang, the Tersago trio decides to carjack one instead. The resisting owner is thrown in the car booth, where he ends up suffocating. Meanwhile Louinsists on stopping at a snack bar and 'expreses' his dissatisfaction with the fried products most excessively. Wesley meanwhile scolds his sister and recruits Mike as additional cameraman.
Greetings, Crimi-Clowns fanatics, adrenaline junkies and other scum.
Hello, friends. Hey, friends. Welcome again to the Crimi Clowns Club.
Action ! Uncle Wesley is so happy to have you all back again.
'Cause what we're gonna see today is so exciting,
that Uncle Wesley himself hardly dares to look.
So it turns out I'm not the only one in the family with film ambitions.
My sister borrowed a camera from me recently.
What are you going to do with that now?
Earn lots of money.
Three days later, shooting is over.
I wonder what beautiful things she has made.
Thanks, Wes.
Is it on?
May I see?
No. I have yet to assemble it.
Corine, Amber, showtime, darlings.
Alonzo !
Hey, Wesley, all good? - All good, man.
What do you intend to do with that?
Our dad thinks I'm in evening photography class.
Are you going to blackmail me?
What do you mean?
Taking disturbing pictures of me and then blackmailing me.
Aggravating photos?
My little fool!
Little fool? against a minister.
Fucking hell !
My little crazy minister.
The frogs, the frogs. It's nice to see.
Crazy bitch. - Oh quack quack quack...
This is not good!
Hi, Wesley.
Hi, Amber.
Hello, sweetheart.
I've seen your film. On your iPad.
You are as sneaky as our mother.
If you want to spend the rest of your life in jail, you should just keep going like this.
Everything is under control, boy.
You really think you're the only smart one in the family.
Who else is behind that?
An old friend of yours. Who doesn't like you that much. Because you still owe him money.
The Ali?
You owe him too?
Den EZ.
That piece of crap.
crap? You're talking about your future brother-in-law.
Are you dating him?!
At least he doesn't cut up his heroin.
I've lived with untrustworthy people all my life.
Many brilliant minds weren't among them
and I belied each and everyone of them
With one exception.
Jantje van Leeuwen from Eindhoven, better known as EZ. Criminal out of category.
Man, man, man.
Our Amber did great again.
Villa Tersago, Brasschaat.
Monday Tuesday Wednesday,
Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday.
The Crimi Clowns project is supplemented with a small second unit.
For me ?
Yes.
Weren't you saving up for that?
Yes.
See, now you own one. So you can spend your money on other toys.
And what do I have to do for that?
You're suspicious too, aren't you, Mike. - Certainly.
You have to film something for me every now and then.
Things I miss because I can't be everywhere.
We are now a week further. We urgently need a new Cayenne.
How's that Porsche Cayenne?
Jos starts to whine.
Has that bumper been made yet?
This isn't real.
That'll be okay.
Jos's car.
Remember the remove those ugly stickers
You can pull that off in no time, Jos. - Yes, yes, including the paint.
On eBay we found a guy who has his Cayenne for sale
'due to double use'.
He certainly won't miss it. He does ask a lot for it.
Can't afford it, Dad says.
Poor daddy.
But we're going to do it differently. I feel great.
Carjacking is healthy for a young dog.
Couldn't you have stolen anything with a radio?
Where did you find that piece of dump?
From an old lady who only drove it on Sundays.
What ? - You were able to sleep all night.
Can you concentrate? - What do you mean?
With all that young meat driving past here.
Wesley, those are kids. - That's why I'm saying it.
What's the problem? - Crazy!
Sleep on.
That's my bruised rib. - From two years ago.
I was awake. Jitterbug.
He's here.
Yes. That's my baby. Or well, the Jos his baby.
Wait, Lou. Wait, I say. Quiet. Stop.
See... - What's he doing now?
Wait.
Why don't we get it now? - You'll see.
We can just get in! It's on brake.
Goddamnit. No ! Sit ! See.
Ah yes. I'm with you. How did you know?
While you went to pick this dump up, I've been doing my homework.
Why didn't you just tell me beforehand?
He did, Lou.
Goddamnit.
Watch out. If it turns red, we've got him.
He's driving through the red! - Come on, dude!
Yes. Flashed !
Okay. Here we go.
Not so fast, dude!
It can take a little hit.
That is Jos's new car you're hitting.
Okay ? - Wait. He'll get out on his own.
Come on, will he stay inside now?
Okay, Wes...
That was a piece of cake, wasn't it.
What are we going to do with that guy?
See a movie or go to the zoo. You can pick.
Hela... Someone is awake.
I knew it. We should have taped his hands.
I wonder how long he will keep that up.
He gets tired of that right away.
He won't get tired of that.
Fine.
Isn't there a paper bag from the bakery on the floor?
Let's take this with us, huh? He could still hurt himself.
Here. There you have something.
Cops? - French fries.
Those are still the best, those little stalls in the villages.
At 11 o'clock in the morning ? - Have you had breakfast yet?
No. - Well then...
Good day.
A Super with mayonnaise and onions, a Sito-stik, a pot of stew sauce,
a cervela with pickles and a minced-meat sausage for waiting.
And a beer.
Wesley ?
A small one with ketchup and a Bicky Burger without pickles. And strawberry milk.
Strawberry milk? - Yes.
With fries? - Yes.
Man, man, man. - What ?
Where is the world headed ? - Fucked, Lou.
The rest is for take away? - No. That's to throw away immediately.
It's okay to have a laugh, isn't it, boss.
Jan-my-balls.
Why didn't you grab a black one right away?
Because then they'll start looking for a black one, huh, Mike. Now they're looking for a silver one.
Aren't they smarter than that?
No.
That's ugly in silver, isn't it? - A fagcar.
Come on, dude, damn it.
That cervela is still frozen inside.
Those fries are inedible.
It smells like something the dog shat out. Smell it !
No.
No, I don't want this.
You are not going to laugh, sir. - For ?
Start taking stomach pills.
Can I get my money back? - What's your problem anyway, dude?
I can't eat this.
You are seriously starting to piss me off now.
Nineteen euros sixty or I'll renovate that greasy room of yours.
I don't think so.
Give me that hand of yours.
I think you'd better go to another fry-store, madame.
Hello.
Wesley, Lutalysis, Estrumate and Gabbrostim.
Those are hormones.
That's what I thought. I'll call the Willy.
Not for athletes, eh. For cows. How many have you got?
5 boxes of 500 capsules, 50 and 100 CC.
That's a fortune. Call the Jos immediately and don't go below 25,000 euros.
Okay...
Hello, boy. - Jose.
That's ten thousand off the debt again.
That's starting to look good, isn't it?
It's okay.
Where is my car ?
The Cayenne? They're making that bumper.
Friends of mine in Borgerhout on the iron bridge,
saw a Cayenne that looked like
like a stagecoach ambushed by the Indians.
Really ?
And since you're suddenly here without a car:
"It won't be mine, will it?"
No, no, next week you will have your car back, as agreed, without a single scratch.
Okay.
Sorry, Jos. I have to take this.
The director of my mother's service flat.
Bruno! Yes...
Do tell me.
That Cayenne on the Iron Bridge WAS yours.
But they already stole a new one.
It is currently being recolored.
Fuck's sake...
That bastard's trying to saddle me up with a stolen car..
That Katia from the Patron, is he dating her?
He's been sleeping there for a few days.
I knew he couldn't stay away from that.
If you ever exhibit, let me know, huh.
I have a photo of David Lachapelle at home, do you know him?
Now that my kids have calmed down a bit, my mom gets it.
She doesn't like being there, Ronny.
She doesn't like being anywhere, Jos. I've moved her three times already.
She is bored among all those old people.
Bored ?
See.
You won't be able to keep her there.
How is Rachel ?
Good, i guess. I don't see her anymore. - No ?
You did give her a serious beating, though.
Good news spreads fast... - Bye, boy.
Jos.
Did the Jos interrogate you when I was on the phone?
Yes.
Does he know about the Porsche Cayenne? - No.
What did you say?
Just that beat up Rachel real well.
That is good. Honey, bring me another bowl of fries.
Some more fries? Sure. Is everything to your liking ?
Absolutely. Super. The clams here are damn bigger than the Mike.
You can actually handle that well. Jokes about your height.
That's not true, Ronny. That really hurts, actually.
Yes?
Are you going to be filming everything I do and say aswell now?
If that doesn't bother you.
Of course that bothers me. What did you think?
Please. - Thanks.
Did he ask about Katia and I?
Nothing.
It's on.
But no.
There.
I'm fulfilled again. come.
Fuck...
Louke.
Choked in his own vomit.
That's just like...
Jimi Hendrix? - No.
Michael Hutchence ? - No.
Eric Childs ? - No
Bon Scott.
Stephen Gately, Stuart Cole ? - No, no, it's a driver.
Ah. Frank Vandenbroucke. - Yes. Frank Vandenbroucke.
How are you ?
Ya, it's okay.
Is that Diet Coke?
Real coke.
Can I have a sip?
And now ?
What do you mean? - What should be done now?
You have to help me, I'm not quite following.
Of everything that happened today.
What's the last thing you can remember?
You, me and your dad are waiting at a villa in Schoten.
That guy drives his Porsche Cayenne out on his way to work.
And then ?
Nothing.
Oh, boy.
Did I miss something ?
wow. God damn it, kiss my balls now. Did I do that ?
Yes. - No ?
Yes. - How ?
Kept squeezing his throat. - Why ?
He kept calling.
But what is wrong with me? Goddamnit. - And now ?
Didn't I bring a shovel?
It's up to you.
Wesley, don't say anything to your dad, ok?
Louke, we already have some secrets together.
Yes. Thank you.
I'll need you someday, won't I?
How much did Jos give for those hormones?
Ten thousand. - Oh come on, dude.
That is far too little. - I know, Wes.
That's a real asshole. - For real.
What have you done today? - Went eat mussels with the Mike. And you ?
French fries.
So you can't go wrong with the Lou.
He really knows all the good fry places. - Yes, that's unbelievable.
Stefan Mertens has been Minister of State since the Dehaene 2 government.
And one of the most prominent Belgian politicians ever.
His unexpected death means a great loss to our country.
We have just received new information from an official source
about the death of Minister Mertens.
It is almost certain that the Minister took his own life.
The reason for his suicide is still unknown.
And then you believe a man like that has everything he can dream of.
Man, man, man.
The world is screwed up.
What ?
Nothing.
Hello, friends. Hey, friends. Welcome again to the Crimi Clowns Club.
Action ! Uncle Wesley is so happy to have you all back again.
'Cause what we're gonna see today is so exciting,
that Uncle Wesley himself hardly dares to look.
So it turns out I'm not the only one in the family with film ambitions.
My sister borrowed a camera from me recently.
What are you going to do with that now?
Earn lots of money.
Three days later, shooting is over.
I wonder what beautiful things she has made.
Thanks, Wes.
Is it on?
May I see?
No. I have yet to assemble it.
Corine, Amber, showtime, darlings.
Alonzo !
Hey, Wesley, all good? - All good, man.
What do you intend to do with that?
Our dad thinks I'm in evening photography class.
Are you going to blackmail me?
What do you mean?
Taking disturbing pictures of me and then blackmailing me.
Aggravating photos?
My little fool!
Little fool? against a minister.
Fucking hell !
My little crazy minister.
The frogs, the frogs. It's nice to see.
Crazy bitch. - Oh quack quack quack...
This is not good!
Hi, Wesley.
Hi, Amber.
Hello, sweetheart.
I've seen your film. On your iPad.
You are as sneaky as our mother.
If you want to spend the rest of your life in jail, you should just keep going like this.
Everything is under control, boy.
You really think you're the only smart one in the family.
Who else is behind that?
An old friend of yours. Who doesn't like you that much. Because you still owe him money.
The Ali?
You owe him too?
Den EZ.
That piece of crap.
crap? You're talking about your future brother-in-law.
Are you dating him?!
At least he doesn't cut up his heroin.
I've lived with untrustworthy people all my life.
Many brilliant minds weren't among them
and I belied each and everyone of them
With one exception.
Jantje van Leeuwen from Eindhoven, better known as EZ. Criminal out of category.
Man, man, man.
Our Amber did great again.
Villa Tersago, Brasschaat.
Monday Tuesday Wednesday,
Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday.
The Crimi Clowns project is supplemented with a small second unit.
For me ?
Yes.
Weren't you saving up for that?
Yes.
See, now you own one. So you can spend your money on other toys.
And what do I have to do for that?
You're suspicious too, aren't you, Mike. - Certainly.
You have to film something for me every now and then.
Things I miss because I can't be everywhere.
We are now a week further. We urgently need a new Cayenne.
How's that Porsche Cayenne?
Jos starts to whine.
Has that bumper been made yet?
This isn't real.
That'll be okay.
Jos's car.
Remember the remove those ugly stickers
You can pull that off in no time, Jos. - Yes, yes, including the paint.
On eBay we found a guy who has his Cayenne for sale
'due to double use'.
He certainly won't miss it. He does ask a lot for it.
Can't afford it, Dad says.
Poor daddy.
But we're going to do it differently. I feel great.
Carjacking is healthy for a young dog.
Couldn't you have stolen anything with a radio?
Where did you find that piece of dump?
From an old lady who only drove it on Sundays.
What ? - You were able to sleep all night.
Can you concentrate? - What do you mean?
With all that young meat driving past here.
Wesley, those are kids. - That's why I'm saying it.
What's the problem? - Crazy!
Sleep on.
That's my bruised rib. - From two years ago.
I was awake. Jitterbug.
He's here.
Yes. That's my baby. Or well, the Jos his baby.
Wait, Lou. Wait, I say. Quiet. Stop.
See... - What's he doing now?
Wait.
Why don't we get it now? - You'll see.
We can just get in! It's on brake.
Goddamnit. No ! Sit ! See.
Ah yes. I'm with you. How did you know?
While you went to pick this dump up, I've been doing my homework.
Why didn't you just tell me beforehand?
He did, Lou.
Goddamnit.
Watch out. If it turns red, we've got him.
He's driving through the red! - Come on, dude!
Yes. Flashed !
Okay. Here we go.
Not so fast, dude!
It can take a little hit.
That is Jos's new car you're hitting.
Okay ? - Wait. He'll get out on his own.
Come on, will he stay inside now?
Okay, Wes...
That was a piece of cake, wasn't it.
What are we going to do with that guy?
See a movie or go to the zoo. You can pick.
Hela... Someone is awake.
I knew it. We should have taped his hands.
I wonder how long he will keep that up.
He gets tired of that right away.
He won't get tired of that.
Fine.
Isn't there a paper bag from the bakery on the floor?
Let's take this with us, huh? He could still hurt himself.
Here. There you have something.
Cops? - French fries.
Those are still the best, those little stalls in the villages.
At 11 o'clock in the morning ? - Have you had breakfast yet?
No. - Well then...
Good day.
A Super with mayonnaise and onions, a Sito-stik, a pot of stew sauce,
a cervela with pickles and a minced-meat sausage for waiting.
And a beer.
Wesley ?
A small one with ketchup and a Bicky Burger without pickles. And strawberry milk.
Strawberry milk? - Yes.
With fries? - Yes.
Man, man, man. - What ?
Where is the world headed ? - Fucked, Lou.
The rest is for take away? - No. That's to throw away immediately.
It's okay to have a laugh, isn't it, boss.
Jan-my-balls.
Why didn't you grab a black one right away?
Because then they'll start looking for a black one, huh, Mike. Now they're looking for a silver one.
Aren't they smarter than that?
No.
That's ugly in silver, isn't it? - A fagcar.
Come on, dude, damn it.
That cervela is still frozen inside.
Those fries are inedible.
It smells like something the dog shat out. Smell it !
No.
No, I don't want this.
You are not going to laugh, sir. - For ?
Start taking stomach pills.
Can I get my money back? - What's your problem anyway, dude?
I can't eat this.
You are seriously starting to piss me off now.
Nineteen euros sixty or I'll renovate that greasy room of yours.
I don't think so.
Give me that hand of yours.
I think you'd better go to another fry-store, madame.
Hello.
Wesley, Lutalysis, Estrumate and Gabbrostim.
Those are hormones.
That's what I thought. I'll call the Willy.
Not for athletes, eh. For cows. How many have you got?
5 boxes of 500 capsules, 50 and 100 CC.
That's a fortune. Call the Jos immediately and don't go below 25,000 euros.
Okay...
Hello, boy. - Jose.
That's ten thousand off the debt again.
That's starting to look good, isn't it?
It's okay.
Where is my car ?
The Cayenne? They're making that bumper.
Friends of mine in Borgerhout on the iron bridge,
saw a Cayenne that looked like
like a stagecoach ambushed by the Indians.
Really ?
And since you're suddenly here without a car:
"It won't be mine, will it?"
No, no, next week you will have your car back, as agreed, without a single scratch.
Okay.
Sorry, Jos. I have to take this.
The director of my mother's service flat.
Bruno! Yes...
Do tell me.
That Cayenne on the Iron Bridge WAS yours.
But they already stole a new one.
It is currently being recolored.
Fuck's sake...
That bastard's trying to saddle me up with a stolen car..
That Katia from the Patron, is he dating her?
He's been sleeping there for a few days.
I knew he couldn't stay away from that.
If you ever exhibit, let me know, huh.
I have a photo of David Lachapelle at home, do you know him?
Now that my kids have calmed down a bit, my mom gets it.
She doesn't like being there, Ronny.
She doesn't like being anywhere, Jos. I've moved her three times already.
She is bored among all those old people.
Bored ?
See.
You won't be able to keep her there.
How is Rachel ?
Good, i guess. I don't see her anymore. - No ?
You did give her a serious beating, though.
Good news spreads fast... - Bye, boy.
Jos.
Did the Jos interrogate you when I was on the phone?
Yes.
Does he know about the Porsche Cayenne? - No.
What did you say?
Just that beat up Rachel real well.
That is good. Honey, bring me another bowl of fries.
Some more fries? Sure. Is everything to your liking ?
Absolutely. Super. The clams here are damn bigger than the Mike.
You can actually handle that well. Jokes about your height.
That's not true, Ronny. That really hurts, actually.
Yes?
Are you going to be filming everything I do and say aswell now?
If that doesn't bother you.
Of course that bothers me. What did you think?
Please. - Thanks.
Did he ask about Katia and I?
Nothing.
It's on.
But no.
There.
I'm fulfilled again. come.
Fuck...
Louke.
Choked in his own vomit.
That's just like...
Jimi Hendrix? - No.
Michael Hutchence ? - No.
Eric Childs ? - No
Bon Scott.
Stephen Gately, Stuart Cole ? - No, no, it's a driver.
Ah. Frank Vandenbroucke. - Yes. Frank Vandenbroucke.
How are you ?
Ya, it's okay.
Is that Diet Coke?
Real coke.
Can I have a sip?
And now ?
What do you mean? - What should be done now?
You have to help me, I'm not quite following.
Of everything that happened today.
What's the last thing you can remember?
You, me and your dad are waiting at a villa in Schoten.
That guy drives his Porsche Cayenne out on his way to work.
And then ?
Nothing.
Oh, boy.
Did I miss something ?
wow. God damn it, kiss my balls now. Did I do that ?
Yes. - No ?
Yes. - How ?
Kept squeezing his throat. - Why ?
He kept calling.
But what is wrong with me? Goddamnit. - And now ?
Didn't I bring a shovel?
It's up to you.
Wesley, don't say anything to your dad, ok?
Louke, we already have some secrets together.
Yes. Thank you.
I'll need you someday, won't I?
How much did Jos give for those hormones?
Ten thousand. - Oh come on, dude.
That is far too little. - I know, Wes.
That's a real asshole. - For real.
What have you done today? - Went eat mussels with the Mike. And you ?
French fries.
So you can't go wrong with the Lou.
He really knows all the good fry places. - Yes, that's unbelievable.
Stefan Mertens has been Minister of State since the Dehaene 2 government.
And one of the most prominent Belgian politicians ever.
His unexpected death means a great loss to our country.
We have just received new information from an official source
about the death of Minister Mertens.
It is almost certain that the Minister took his own life.
The reason for his suicide is still unknown.
And then you believe a man like that has everything he can dream of.
Man, man, man.
The world is screwed up.
What ?
Nothing.