Creeped Out (2017–…): Season 1, Episode 2 - Cat Food - full transcript

The Curious...
they say he collects strange tales

and if you ever
hear his whistle,

you know something creepy
is about to unfold.

No one knows where he's from
or where he's going to

and no one's ever seen
under his mask.

Maybe he's embarrassed

to show what's
really under there.

Some people go to extremes

to avoid embarrassment,

even if it means sacrificing
their own family.

There you go, darling.
Hope you like it.



They're beautiful, Patricia.

What are you doing?
What are you doing with that?

Give me that.
Give me the tea towel!

Get off it!

Oh, when did this one
slink in, hey? Morning, Dinky.

Dad, we agreed to
stop calling me...

Oh!

Someone needs to cut down
on their fibre diet.

Yep, never gets tired that one.

Ah-ah.

Sneaky badger.

Ugh. Rank.

What even is that? Surprise.

It'll do you a lot more good



than those revolting
lumps of sugar.

Mmm...

Just for you.

I don't want it.

It's poison!
She's poisoning me! Ah!

Please, can you try
to resemble normal humans

at the party tomorrow?

Oh.

The annual
Peterson's smarm fest.

I still don't get why we force
ourselves over there every year.

Well, should we not go?

Should we just stay at home

and cozy up on the sofa and have
a horror movie marathon?

Guys, no.

We need to make an effort.

Patty's like the coolest
girl in my year.

Really?

Surely that prize
should go to you, Dinky.

Dad, seriously!

Dell, you know
she hates that name.

Why though? It's so cute!

It's really not.

And come away from the window;
They'll see you.

Relax. It's not like they're
the royal family or anything.

Patty got them new trainers
I told you about.

Jessica, sweetheart,
not again with the shoes.

Patty's mum gets her
what she wants.

You don't see her begging.

Keep dreaming of
someone else's life, kiddo,

you'll end up
missing out on your own.

Wow, Dad. Deep.

Hmm. And guys,

come away from the window.

Hey.

Them shoes are so nice!

Love your shoes.

Dell, that was a clean shirt.

And? I'm saving
that bit for later.

Are we going then?

I take it you won't be
wanting your present then?

Drumroll, maestro, please.

No, really?

You actually got me a pair...

I know they're not
the exact ones you wanted,

but mum promised these
were just as good

and a quarter of the price.
Ka-ching.

I actually think
they look cooler.

Am I right?

At least try them on.

Come on, give us a show.

Shoes! Shoes!

Shoes! Shoes!
Shoes! Shoes! Shoes!

Come on.

Badaboom. Perfect fit.

Yay.

Come on, let's do a catwalk.

- Come on.
- Yeah, come on.

That's it, try them out.
That's it.

This way, girls,
please, this way.

Nice shoes, Gerstenberger.
Can I get a pair?

The shop 'round the corner,
girls, called Footloose.

They're on sale, too. Dad!

Although, you wont find
anything quite as hip

as these bad boys in there.

Sweetheart, what's wrong?

Are you actually kidding me?

Them.

They're laughing at me.

Go on! Go away,

you bunch of brats!

Mum, stop!

Come on.

I cannot believe you.

First you buy me these,
these things,

then I'm forced to parade up
and down in public.

Why would you
do that to me? Why?

Everyone's gonna
know about this.

Don't overreact, Dinky.

Sorry. I wasn't thinking.

You never do,

either of you,
not when it comes to me.

Jessie...

Honey, we just...

We didn't want you
to miss out, that's all.

Why are you like this? Why?

I just...

I wish you were both normal.

You are kidding.
I can't go to work dressed in that.

There was a teeny little,
minor mix-up with the machine.

Don't forget your jacket.

Thank you, everyone.
Thank you, boys and girls.

Any change?

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I don't have any cash on me.

Bit old for a puppet show.

I wasn't watching. Just...

needed to sit.

What?

There's someone
you need to talk to.

Over there.

Look, I said
I didn't have any money

and I wasn't even properly
watching, so...

Not about that.

He just wants to say hello.

Who?

Mr. Blackteeth.

He won't bite.

He shouldn't do.

You look troubled.

Not giving you the
heebie-jeebies, am I?

No.

The handle's Mr. Blackteeth.

To make your acquaintance
is my utmost pleasure.

Okay.

I'm Jessie.

Okey-dokie pig in a pokey.

By my reckoning,
that makes us pals.

Penny for your thoughts, Jessie.

No need to fear.

Unburden your woes.

Nothing.
Just... my stupid parents.

We all know that feeling.

My mum and dad were thick
as two short planks.

Literally.

You don't find me funny.

I have to go now.

Don't!

You haven't heard
my proposition.

Yeah? I'm good.

What if I said
you could have the power

to control your parents?
Interested?

It's easy-peasy lemony-squeezy.

Just gotta wrap on
your forehead three times.

Then repeat back to me...
"That's the way to do it."

Come on, friend.

Unless your scared!

Ooh, that's it! A yellow-belly.

Fine, if it'll make you shut up.

That's the way to do it.

Happy?

What's this then?
Silent treatment?

Because I stormed off yesterday?

Fine. Well, if you're
planning on ignoring me,

can you at least do it

whilst making me
a normal breakfast for once?

Toast. OJ.

Is this, like,

one of Dad's jokes
that I never get?

Seriously?

Okay.

Well, whilst
we're in normal mode,

how about Dad sticks on some
decent trousers for once?

What are you doing?

What you told me to.

Okay, stop.

So, if I told Mum

to stick as many of these
as she can in her mouth?

This is messed up.

What if I said

you could have the power
to control your parents?

They're like puppets.

Okay, recap time.

Remind me of
the party rules. Dad?

I must not crack jokes,
nor will I embarrass Jessie.

If anyone initiates
conversation,

I will simply nod and smile.

Bingo.

Mum, what do you do
if there's group laughter?

I must join in,

but using only an acceptable
level of giggles.

This is going to be great.
Okay, perfect parents.

Let's do this.

Hi, Patty. Loving the dress.

Gerstenberger. Loving the...

shoes.

Ah. The neighbours.

You all look delightful.

Please come in.

Make yourselves at home. Oh.

Patricia,
drinks are running low.

Head to the kitchen and
top us up, dear.

Mum, my friends
are on their way.

Um, I'll lend a hand.

If you want.

Perfect.

Stop smiling. Go on.

I was thinking,

seeing as we're neighbours,

plus, I'm in your class,

that, well, it makes sense

that maybe we walked
to school together.

I really don't want to do that.

Patricia, what's that?

Have you been wrestling
pigs in a sty?

Take yourself
upstairs to change.

Must have been when
I sat on then bench.

Bird poop.

I still think you look great.

Patty.

Thank my stars, Dell.

Almost didn't recognize you.

Thought I was destined to
suffer this hell alone.

Same old Peterson
guff every year.

Why do we force ourselves, eh?

Hey, how
'bout one of your jokes?

Liven this place up a bit.

Dell? Is, uh...

Is everything okay/.

Gerstenberger.

Do you want sauce with that?

Yes!

Why would you do that?

'Cause it's funny.

Mum was right.

You lot are just... losers.

Losers.

Now, we're going to welcome

our first contestant
down to the stage.

Mum, I was wondering if

maybe tomorrow I could have
one of your smoothies.

And what would you like
in this smoothie?

Well, I don't know. Surprise me.

And how would you
like me to surprise you?

Actually, don't worry.

Dad, haven't been
given one of them

annoying bear hugs in awhile.

Go one then, as we're here.

No, no.

It's more like...

Remember?

Stupid fibre diet?

Okay.
I think it should stop now.

I'm done. Game over.

Just...
Just go back to how you were.

And how do we go back to how we were?

Wait. Wait, hang on.

That's the way to do it.

That's the way to do it. Please.

That's the way to do it.

He's gone.

I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.

Blackteeth. Roll up, Roll up.

Come and see Mr. Blackteeth's
Theatre of Hilarity!

Roll up, roll up,
the show is about to begin.

- Oh, Dell!
- What?

That was a clean shirt.

And?
I'm saving that bit for later.

Oh, you cheeky badger.

Oh! Someone needs to cut
down on their fibre diet.

Come on, Dell. I'll fix you
one of me smoothies.

Oh, wait.

What's in it this time?

It's a surprise.

Oh! Oh!

Well, I'm not sure,
not after last time.

Well, it'll do you a lot more
good than those revolting

lumps of sugar. Oh!

Ah!

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.

Thank you, boys and girls.

Bye. Bye-bye..

Come on, then.

Did you enjoy that?

- Jessie.
- Sweetheart.

Mum? Dad?

Is that really you?

Help us, Jessie.

Whoever's in charge, come out.

Right now.

Right, well, I'm coming in.

Well, well,

my old pal Jessie.

I want you to come out.

Now.

Say, you lost your noodle?

Who are you talking to?

I'm the one in control.

So, beginning to

regret your decision, huh?

Not surprised. Your mum and dad

are a big hit.

Get us out of here.

How do I turn it off?

You don't.

No. There must be a way.
Anything. Please.

I just want my parents back.

There is one way.

But I don't think
you'll like it very much.

I had to come...

to explain.

As soon as you
sat down for the show,

I knew you were a candidate.

What do you mean?

He tricked me too...

Blackteeth.

I had this dumb argument
with my parents.

I played along
with his little game.

Then, the next morning...

You know the rest.

There was only
one way to free them.

I had to find replacements.

Ah-ah-ah!

I prefer the term understudies.

It took me a long time.

Then, I found you.

As soon as you
uttered those words,

they came back to me.

This is yours now.

You need to find your
own understudies.

I'm sorry.

Let's go home.

What are you willing
to do to get your parents back?

It's all yours now, kiddo.

Good luck, Jessie.

You've already had one.

Sort your attitude out,
all right? I've had enough.

And I'm getting sick of it.
Yeah.

You always want
more and more and more.

Never satisfied.

Should we just go?

Ever been embarrassed by your parents?

Why not knock three times
and say out loud,

"That's the way to do it"?

But only if you're willing to
face the consequences.