Craig of the Creek (2018–…): Season 3, Episode 22 - Winter Creeklympics - full transcript
Craig, Kelsey and JP try their luck at winning Gold in their first ever, Winter Creeklympics!
♪ Who's gonna help
when the danger overwhelms ♪
♪ And the mysteries
are piled high? ♪
♪ Who's gonna be around,
never gonna let you down ♪
♪ When you're on a wild ride?
♪ Your friends are
always by your side ♪
♪ It's Craig of the Creek,
he's gonna save the day ♪
♪ It's Craig of the Creek,
he's gonna save the day ♪
♪ It's Craig of the Creek
♪CRAIG OF THE CREEK♪
*CRAIG OF THE CREEK*
Season 03 Episode 22
Episode Title:
"Winter Creeklympics"
Welcome back
to our final day of coverage
of the Winter Creeklympics!
Sponsored by The Trading Tree!
Trade your life!
I'm Wren, and once again,
I'm joined by
our special analyst,
the most decorated Creeklympian
of all time,
Handlebarb of the 10 speeds!
I'm chilling out this year
so others can have a taste
of that sweet, sweet gold.
And I'm here because I love
talking about all things sports!
And by "sports", I mean science!
Let's recap!
Earlier this week,
Frisboy wizzed to a gold
in the Sewer Luge!
Yustice carved out a bronze
for the Ninja Kids
in super icy ice sculpting!
And the Horse Girls brought home
the hi-ho silver in curling!
It's been quite a few days
with nearly every group
at the Creek
taking home at least one medal!
Every group
except the Stump Kids!
But they still have one day
left to bring home the gold!
Let's take a closer look
at this group of losers
In "The Stump Kids:
Road to the Stump."
Ever since they were littler,
Craig, Kelsey, and Johns-Podric
had Creeklympic dreams.
I've always had Creeklympic
dreams of winning a gold medal
and finally feeling like
I'm on top of the world,
instead of on the ground
with my head stuck in something.
It's all about medals.
And to get medals...
you need muscles.
You can't spell nice
without ice.
Oh wait, what was the question?
Who cares.
Did I get the job?
It'd just be nice to finish
this year's Creeklympics
feeling good about ourselves
instead of disappointed, angry,
and in JP's case...
missing a permanent tooth.
But this unlikely
group of goobers
finally got to wave their flag
at the Creeklympics
opening ceremonies.
We've been waiting
our entire friendship for this.
And just like a cicada
waits 17 years
to emerge from the ground,
we too are ready to emerge
from the underground
of the stump
to spread our wings
and win a painted gold
cardboard medal!
Cool cool.
So like why didn't you just
make your flag the stump?
I told him to make it the stump.
We're always at the stump!
We're not always at the stump!
Yeah, we're bug kids!
No, we're not!
Well, you guys sure
talk a big game.
What message do you have
for any haters watching?
Wait...
We have haters?
Back to me in the booth.
Thanks, me.
On to our first event...
Ice puddle figure skating.
Eliza of the Tea Timers
has won the figure skating
competition
four years in a row
with the ballet shoes
her daddy bought her.
But one thing daddy
can't buy is a gold.
Let's watch.
Today Eliza is skating
to the overture from the film
"Remembrance
of the Tuscan Moon."
She starts with a beautiful
wake up and shine,
into a twirly eyes on toes!
Ooh, nice air tornado
into a gut kick!
Looks like she's winding up
with a double look backsie.
Into a quadruple spineroo.
And ending with
a "is it raining!"
And it is raining!
Raining roses
on an amazing routine!
I rate that performance
a 196.967...
the atomic weight of gold!
And the scores are in...
The judges agree!
Daddy said if I win
I can have my birthday party
at the Louvre.
Heard of it?
It's a museum.
In France.
What a beautiful routine,
performed on a playground
that the township once called
"a danger to public health
and safety."
She did a great job avoiding
those rusty nails, Wren.
Now let's see what
JP has to offer.
Well, he certainly
looks confident.
And so does his team.
♪ Bow wow bark!
Bow wow kick! ♪
Is he just doing
the "Ninja Dogs" opening?
Huh. JP taking
an unusual approach
to his choreography.
You know, I gotta say
as a fan of ninjas,
I... don't hate this.
Ooh, that is definitely
going to cost him!
The judges are not gonna
like this.
Ooh, these numbers
are lookin' low.
Much like the ratings
for "Ninja Dogs" final season
in which the dogs
were turned into cats.
Not the scores Team Stump Kids
were looking for.
Hoo-hoo! A "ruff" start
for the Stump Kids!
But we go live now
to our next event,
trashcan lid snowboarding!
First up is Warpspeed,
from your very own crew,
the 10 Speeds!
How's it feel
seeing him out there
on the slopes today, Handlebarb?
Well, I'm predicting
my man Warpspeed's
gonna shred some serious snow!
Heh, but I may be
a little biased
'cause ya know, bros.
I don't know.
I'm an only child.
And he's off!
The pressure
from Warpspeed's mass
coupled with the angle
of the lid
is giving him maximum torque!
Eat it, torque!
Let's see that time!
12 seconds!
And Warpspeed lives up
to his name!
Whoa, that's a hard time
to beat!
Kelsey's got her work
cut out for her.
You sure are right, Handlebarb!
She must be feeling
a lot of pressure right now.
Yeah, I wonder what
she must be thinking
with her teammates watching on.
If I were Kelsey,
I'd be thinking
this is a huge moment for me!
Absolutely!
If I were Kelsey, I'd know
that this is
a make it or break it moment!
If I were Kelsey, like,
if I was Kelsey,
I would be shaking in my -
I can hear you!
And there she goes!
Ohh!
Ohh!
Ohh.
Well, that was something.
Aah!
Let's look at that time!
4.7 seconds?!
That's a new
Creeklympics record!
Not so fast!
Kelsey's run is currently
under review by the judges.
And by judges, I mean us.
Hmm.
You're right, Wren.
Kelsey hit the flags here,
here, here...
And here and here and here
and here and here and here!
Kinda looks
like a little man.
And when you add up
all those flag penalties,
her time is actually
3.5 hours!
Once again, no medals
for the Stump Kids.
And now on to the creek jump.
Oh, that's me!
Craig, as you know this is
a difficult landing to stick.
Even I couldn't do it.
So why do you think
you're better than me?
I-I-I... I don't.
I've just got long legs
and big dreams.
I'm glad you brought up dreams,
Craig,
because after the Stump Kids'
two losses today,
this Creeklympics is turning out
to be what many would call
a nightmare.
Thoughts on this nightmare?
Craig approaches
the edge of the creek
and certain doom.
He sees his friends
cheering across the bank.
Perhaps for the last time.
And he's off!
Whoa!
Ooh.
A good effort,
but like many before him,
he just couldn't
stick the landing.
This is starting
to look impossible.
Let's see if Bobby can prove
the statement wrong.
And he's off!
Oh!
And he landed it?
He stuck the landing!
Against all scientific odds,
Bobby has cleared the creek,
taking home a gold medal
for whatever group of kids
he hangs out with.
Seems like Bobby is having
trouble with his shoes.
Let's go to Camera 2.
Bobby put gummy bears
on the bottom of his shoes!
He cheated!
Let's check out the replay.
And there!
You can see it as clear as day.
He used the adhesive qualities
of that sticky candy
to stick the landing.
Ugh.
It truly is a sad day
for Creeklympians everywhere.
We'll be right back!
In a perfect creek,
you'd never forget a snack.
In a perfect creek,
you'd get the snack you want.
In a... uh...
But the Creek is not perfect.
And that's why the Creek
needs...
the Trading Tree.
♪ If it's snack time,
it's tradin' time ♪
♪ Down at the Tradin' Tree
Ding!
And we're back with
the final event
of the Winter Creeklympics!
Ultimate speed sledding!
Whoo!
The final competitors
of the day, The Stump Kids,
who have yet
to take home any medals/
Let's go to Wren on the hill.
Wren.
Craig, this event will be your
team's last chance for a medal.
Your last chance to make your
Creeklympic dreams come true.
Your last chance to prove
yourself to the cosmos!
Can you do it,
or will you all go home
cold and soggy losers?
Look, just because
we haven't won anything
doesn't mean we're losers.
I mean it kinda does.
Ugh, let's just do this.
They're on their marks.
And there they go!
It's looking like a good start!
This could be the one for them!
Uh-oh.
Something's going on with JP.
Aah! Aah!
And they crashed.
Right before the finish line.
And that's it, folks.
That was their last chance.
Looks like this year,
there's gonna be no medals
for the Stump Kids.
Wait, what's this?
It looks like Craig is giving
some sort of heartfelt speech,
which is only gonna add
more time.
And now they're going
back up the hill?
Uh, I hope they realize
at this point,
they have no chance of winning.
Look! The Stump Kids are going
down the track again!
My brain feels soft!
Now the other athletes
are doing it too?
Sledding just for fun?
I've never heard
of such a thing!
In all my years of winning
millions of medals,
I've never seen
anything like this.
You gotta wonder what's going
through their minds right now.
Let's ask them!
Craig, what did you say
to your teammates down there?
I said that winning can be fun,
but you know what's always fun?
Having fun.
- Deep.
- Immeasurably.
And with that,
we conclude another amazing
- Winter Creeklympics!
- Okay, bye!
- Whee!
- Whoo-hoo!
♪ When it's time to go to bed
♪ I know
I don't have to feel alone ♪
♪ 'Cause I'll see you tomorrow
♪ At the creek
Just like I drew it.
when the danger overwhelms ♪
♪ And the mysteries
are piled high? ♪
♪ Who's gonna be around,
never gonna let you down ♪
♪ When you're on a wild ride?
♪ Your friends are
always by your side ♪
♪ It's Craig of the Creek,
he's gonna save the day ♪
♪ It's Craig of the Creek,
he's gonna save the day ♪
♪ It's Craig of the Creek
♪CRAIG OF THE CREEK♪
*CRAIG OF THE CREEK*
Season 03 Episode 22
Episode Title:
"Winter Creeklympics"
Welcome back
to our final day of coverage
of the Winter Creeklympics!
Sponsored by The Trading Tree!
Trade your life!
I'm Wren, and once again,
I'm joined by
our special analyst,
the most decorated Creeklympian
of all time,
Handlebarb of the 10 speeds!
I'm chilling out this year
so others can have a taste
of that sweet, sweet gold.
And I'm here because I love
talking about all things sports!
And by "sports", I mean science!
Let's recap!
Earlier this week,
Frisboy wizzed to a gold
in the Sewer Luge!
Yustice carved out a bronze
for the Ninja Kids
in super icy ice sculpting!
And the Horse Girls brought home
the hi-ho silver in curling!
It's been quite a few days
with nearly every group
at the Creek
taking home at least one medal!
Every group
except the Stump Kids!
But they still have one day
left to bring home the gold!
Let's take a closer look
at this group of losers
In "The Stump Kids:
Road to the Stump."
Ever since they were littler,
Craig, Kelsey, and Johns-Podric
had Creeklympic dreams.
I've always had Creeklympic
dreams of winning a gold medal
and finally feeling like
I'm on top of the world,
instead of on the ground
with my head stuck in something.
It's all about medals.
And to get medals...
you need muscles.
You can't spell nice
without ice.
Oh wait, what was the question?
Who cares.
Did I get the job?
It'd just be nice to finish
this year's Creeklympics
feeling good about ourselves
instead of disappointed, angry,
and in JP's case...
missing a permanent tooth.
But this unlikely
group of goobers
finally got to wave their flag
at the Creeklympics
opening ceremonies.
We've been waiting
our entire friendship for this.
And just like a cicada
waits 17 years
to emerge from the ground,
we too are ready to emerge
from the underground
of the stump
to spread our wings
and win a painted gold
cardboard medal!
Cool cool.
So like why didn't you just
make your flag the stump?
I told him to make it the stump.
We're always at the stump!
We're not always at the stump!
Yeah, we're bug kids!
No, we're not!
Well, you guys sure
talk a big game.
What message do you have
for any haters watching?
Wait...
We have haters?
Back to me in the booth.
Thanks, me.
On to our first event...
Ice puddle figure skating.
Eliza of the Tea Timers
has won the figure skating
competition
four years in a row
with the ballet shoes
her daddy bought her.
But one thing daddy
can't buy is a gold.
Let's watch.
Today Eliza is skating
to the overture from the film
"Remembrance
of the Tuscan Moon."
She starts with a beautiful
wake up and shine,
into a twirly eyes on toes!
Ooh, nice air tornado
into a gut kick!
Looks like she's winding up
with a double look backsie.
Into a quadruple spineroo.
And ending with
a "is it raining!"
And it is raining!
Raining roses
on an amazing routine!
I rate that performance
a 196.967...
the atomic weight of gold!
And the scores are in...
The judges agree!
Daddy said if I win
I can have my birthday party
at the Louvre.
Heard of it?
It's a museum.
In France.
What a beautiful routine,
performed on a playground
that the township once called
"a danger to public health
and safety."
She did a great job avoiding
those rusty nails, Wren.
Now let's see what
JP has to offer.
Well, he certainly
looks confident.
And so does his team.
♪ Bow wow bark!
Bow wow kick! ♪
Is he just doing
the "Ninja Dogs" opening?
Huh. JP taking
an unusual approach
to his choreography.
You know, I gotta say
as a fan of ninjas,
I... don't hate this.
Ooh, that is definitely
going to cost him!
The judges are not gonna
like this.
Ooh, these numbers
are lookin' low.
Much like the ratings
for "Ninja Dogs" final season
in which the dogs
were turned into cats.
Not the scores Team Stump Kids
were looking for.
Hoo-hoo! A "ruff" start
for the Stump Kids!
But we go live now
to our next event,
trashcan lid snowboarding!
First up is Warpspeed,
from your very own crew,
the 10 Speeds!
How's it feel
seeing him out there
on the slopes today, Handlebarb?
Well, I'm predicting
my man Warpspeed's
gonna shred some serious snow!
Heh, but I may be
a little biased
'cause ya know, bros.
I don't know.
I'm an only child.
And he's off!
The pressure
from Warpspeed's mass
coupled with the angle
of the lid
is giving him maximum torque!
Eat it, torque!
Let's see that time!
12 seconds!
And Warpspeed lives up
to his name!
Whoa, that's a hard time
to beat!
Kelsey's got her work
cut out for her.
You sure are right, Handlebarb!
She must be feeling
a lot of pressure right now.
Yeah, I wonder what
she must be thinking
with her teammates watching on.
If I were Kelsey,
I'd be thinking
this is a huge moment for me!
Absolutely!
If I were Kelsey, I'd know
that this is
a make it or break it moment!
If I were Kelsey, like,
if I was Kelsey,
I would be shaking in my -
I can hear you!
And there she goes!
Ohh!
Ohh!
Ohh.
Well, that was something.
Aah!
Let's look at that time!
4.7 seconds?!
That's a new
Creeklympics record!
Not so fast!
Kelsey's run is currently
under review by the judges.
And by judges, I mean us.
Hmm.
You're right, Wren.
Kelsey hit the flags here,
here, here...
And here and here and here
and here and here and here!
Kinda looks
like a little man.
And when you add up
all those flag penalties,
her time is actually
3.5 hours!
Once again, no medals
for the Stump Kids.
And now on to the creek jump.
Oh, that's me!
Craig, as you know this is
a difficult landing to stick.
Even I couldn't do it.
So why do you think
you're better than me?
I-I-I... I don't.
I've just got long legs
and big dreams.
I'm glad you brought up dreams,
Craig,
because after the Stump Kids'
two losses today,
this Creeklympics is turning out
to be what many would call
a nightmare.
Thoughts on this nightmare?
Craig approaches
the edge of the creek
and certain doom.
He sees his friends
cheering across the bank.
Perhaps for the last time.
And he's off!
Whoa!
Ooh.
A good effort,
but like many before him,
he just couldn't
stick the landing.
This is starting
to look impossible.
Let's see if Bobby can prove
the statement wrong.
And he's off!
Oh!
And he landed it?
He stuck the landing!
Against all scientific odds,
Bobby has cleared the creek,
taking home a gold medal
for whatever group of kids
he hangs out with.
Seems like Bobby is having
trouble with his shoes.
Let's go to Camera 2.
Bobby put gummy bears
on the bottom of his shoes!
He cheated!
Let's check out the replay.
And there!
You can see it as clear as day.
He used the adhesive qualities
of that sticky candy
to stick the landing.
Ugh.
It truly is a sad day
for Creeklympians everywhere.
We'll be right back!
In a perfect creek,
you'd never forget a snack.
In a perfect creek,
you'd get the snack you want.
In a... uh...
But the Creek is not perfect.
And that's why the Creek
needs...
the Trading Tree.
♪ If it's snack time,
it's tradin' time ♪
♪ Down at the Tradin' Tree
Ding!
And we're back with
the final event
of the Winter Creeklympics!
Ultimate speed sledding!
Whoo!
The final competitors
of the day, The Stump Kids,
who have yet
to take home any medals/
Let's go to Wren on the hill.
Wren.
Craig, this event will be your
team's last chance for a medal.
Your last chance to make your
Creeklympic dreams come true.
Your last chance to prove
yourself to the cosmos!
Can you do it,
or will you all go home
cold and soggy losers?
Look, just because
we haven't won anything
doesn't mean we're losers.
I mean it kinda does.
Ugh, let's just do this.
They're on their marks.
And there they go!
It's looking like a good start!
This could be the one for them!
Uh-oh.
Something's going on with JP.
Aah! Aah!
And they crashed.
Right before the finish line.
And that's it, folks.
That was their last chance.
Looks like this year,
there's gonna be no medals
for the Stump Kids.
Wait, what's this?
It looks like Craig is giving
some sort of heartfelt speech,
which is only gonna add
more time.
And now they're going
back up the hill?
Uh, I hope they realize
at this point,
they have no chance of winning.
Look! The Stump Kids are going
down the track again!
My brain feels soft!
Now the other athletes
are doing it too?
Sledding just for fun?
I've never heard
of such a thing!
In all my years of winning
millions of medals,
I've never seen
anything like this.
You gotta wonder what's going
through their minds right now.
Let's ask them!
Craig, what did you say
to your teammates down there?
I said that winning can be fun,
but you know what's always fun?
Having fun.
- Deep.
- Immeasurably.
And with that,
we conclude another amazing
- Winter Creeklympics!
- Okay, bye!
- Whee!
- Whoo-hoo!
♪ When it's time to go to bed
♪ I know
I don't have to feel alone ♪
♪ 'Cause I'll see you tomorrow
♪ At the creek
Just like I drew it.