Colditz (1972–1974): Season 2, Episode 7 - French Leave - full transcript

I say, this wretched news
is a bit late tonight, isn't it?

Where the hell is Mike?

Well, what's on the menu tonight, Hoppy?

Uh, sausage and sauerkraut, sir.

Sauerkraut? How on earth
did you manage that?

Well, now, it's not
your actual sauerkraut,

it's more, you might say,
uh, ersatz sauerkraut.

Still, if you smother it with onions,
it'll be all right, sir.

Onions? Are there onions in that?

Well, not your actual onions,
it's more, you might say a sort of...

Your ersatz onions!



I think we get the general idea, Hoppy.

Can't be too bad, sir.
I cried peeling them.

As long as we don't cry eating them.

Sorry I'm late, chaps.
Had a job translating this.

You might try brushing up
on your French, old man.

Never mind his French.
What we want's a wireless set.

Then we wouldn't have to go through
this bloody silly rigmarole.

Oh, come off it! He's doing his best.

All right. Well, come on, men, come on.
We're all agog.

Here's the 9:00 news...
- Half an hour late.

...and this is Michael Brown reading it.

"The German Army is in full retreat
across North Africa.

"British and American troops
met up at the Gabes Gap

"and are sweeping across Tunisia



"with the German Army
falling back on all fronts."

"The Allied armies have captured nearly
a million German and Italian soldiers."

How many?
- Come again?

Well, nearer 500,000, but I thought
a little journalistic licence...

Wait.
Here's the news scoop of the month.

You mean there's more?

"It was officially announced
from Berlin this morning that..."

I have no wish to interrupt
your meal, gentlemen.

Do carry on.

Lieutenant Brown,
you appear to have been

in the process of making
some kind of announcement.

Yes, as a matter of fact,
I was reading out the...

Lieutenant Brown was reading the news.
Weren't you, Mike?

Well,
that should interest all of us.

Continue, Lieutenant Brown.

Go ahead, Mike.

"It was officially announced
from Berlin this morning

"that the Fuhrer himself has personally
relieved Field Marshal Rommel

"of all duties in the Middle East,

"and has ordered the Field Marshal
to return to Berlin immediately."

These onions are very good, Hop.
Well done.

Where did you get this lie,
Lieutenant Brown?

It's not a lie, is it, Mike?
- I don't think so.

Your notes, please.

You will recall my previous warning.

I have no alternative but to report this
to the Kommandant.

500,000.
- I don't believe it.

If I may say so, Simon,
was that particularly wise?

What the hell? The Germans know

the French have got
a radio hidden somewhere.

And they know we get the news
from London every night.

Besides, that bit of news isn't going
to do the German's morale much good.

That's if it's true.

I heard it myself.

Yes, but your French, old boy,
it is a bit rusty...

Listen, the Frenchies themselves
nearly went barmy when they heard it.

Well, it certainly sounds
like the end of the war in Africa.

You never know,
we might all be home by Christmas.

Christmas is a long way off.
We still have Easter to worry about.

And that means it's...
- Choir practice.

That's right. Choir practice time.
Come along, George.

Coming.

And you, Mr Carter.
- Yeah. I'll be right with you, Padre.

And how is this famous choir of yours
coming along, then, Padre?

Uh, really not as good
as last year, I'm afraid.

Those Russians did make a difference.

They seemed to give the whole choir
more body.

If you know what I mean.

I fear it's a bit thin this year.
Still, never mind.

Choir's not half as thin as this soup.

It's damned irritating to have to
rely on the French for all our news.

Well, it's not surprising, is it, Simon?

If they're the only people
with a wireless.

I've got news for you. They've got two.

They've got a spare
in case Jerry tumbles the other one.

The bloody selfish lot!

It's like a NAAFI stores over there.

I don't know how
that Vaillant character manages it,

but he seems to be able to lay his hands
on absolutely anything.

The French are operating
a radio receiver, sir.

Hmm?

It is a serious crime
to operate a radio receiver

in a prisoner-of-war camp, sir.

Of course.

Hauptmann Ulmann suggests
it might be difficult to find, sir.

It most probably will.

I find that hard to believe, sir.

When I first came to Colditz, Major,
I found such things hard to believe.

But now, nothing would surprise me.

The more thoroughly we search, the more
ingenious they are in hiding things.

But this radio is undoubtedly
the source of lying enemy propaganda,

which is circulating
through the entire camp, sir.

I'm well aware of that.

Hauptmann Ulmann obtained these notes
from the British quarter, sir,

a particularly invidious pack of lies.

I would call that vicious
and dangerous propaganda, sir.

That's an old German melody.
Bach, I believe.

I would suggest that we made an example

of those persons responsible
for passing on this information, sir.

You did not hear the 8:00 bulletin
from Berlin, Major?

No, sir, I did not.

The Führer has relieved
Field Marshal Rommel from his post

and ordered him back to Berlin at once.

The Field Marshal's place is to
be taken by Generaloberst von Arnim.

I fear things are not going
too well for us in North Africa.

Temporary setbacks are inevitable, sir.

Yes. Yes, of course.

One packet of playing cards,
two pairs of socks, 2 marks 50.

Your account shows that you owe
the company 7 marks 30.

And there was the mouth organ last week.
That comes to 16 marks.

It is not a charity organisation
we are running here, Duprez!

I'm expecting a Red Cross parcel soon.

Everyone is expecting
a Red Cross parcel.

Give him the cigarettes.

But no more credit.

Ah! Lieutenant...
- Carter.

Right. Captain Vaillant.
- Yes, I know.

We are honoured, sir.

There is something I can do for you?
- Yeah, perhaps.

For the English, anything.

Believe me,
you have come to the right man.

Come, come.
A little apéritif before lunch.

Oh, thank you.

Please, sit. Feel at home.

Thank you.

Reserved for special guests.
- Oh, what is it?

You could call it Pernod.

It smells like Pernod.

And it tastes like Pernod.

Thank you.

And if you drink enough of it,

you don't know the difference
the next morning.

Cheers.
- Cheers.

Good, huh?

Cigarette?

No, thank you.

Mmm.

Is it safe to smoke
with this stuff around?

French cigarettes, okay?

No, it reminds me
of better days, though.

Ah, you know France.

No, not really.
I once went on a day trip to Bologne.

You do not know the Riviera?

No, I'm afraid we never got that far.
- Ah.

I come from Marseille.

Greatest city in all France.

Sunshine, beautiful girls.

In Marseille, one can live like a man.

This really is remarkable.
How do you make it?

Well, well. What is there
I can do for you, Lieutenant?

We were wondering
if we might do a little barter.

Something that we need
for something that you may need.

Believe me, you have come
to the right man. Anything you want.

Rope, string, cigarettes, Dutch cigars,
German wines, nails, screws, everything.

Except women.

And I thought
we were good at scrounging.

My friend,
you are speaking to an expert.

Before the war, how do you think
I made a living in Marseille?

By one's white...
- Wits.

Exactly.

In Marseille, I live like a prince.

Handmade silk shirts.

A big car. Delage.
6,000 centimétre cube.

And women.

Ah, this bloody war.

I tell you, if I was in Marseille
at this very moment,

you can't get coffee, you can't
get this, you can't get that...

I would be a millionaire.

Yeah, I imagine you would.

They keep us here, prisoners of war.

Which war?

France is not at war with Germany.

For us, the war ended two years ago.

I tell you,

I give myself...
- No, thank you.

...one month
and I will be out of this pigsty.

I say to myself, "André,

"in one month's time,
you will be sitting at a café,

"into the sunshine, Boulevard Releche,

"sipping a cognac
and watching girls go by."

I...
- Well, business.

You tell me what you want.

Yes, well, in the British quarters
we don't have a wireless.

And I understand that
you've got two of them,

and I thought we might make
some kind of a little deal.

My friend,

you are pulling my legs.

No.

Lieutenant, ask me for anything,
the shirt off my back.

But a radio?

Have you any idea how long
it has taken us to assemble our radio?

A piece here, a piece there.
It is like gold to us.

Yeah, but you do have two.

But your Lieutenant Brown is
always welcome to listen to our radio.

Here, take it.

Your attention, gentlemen.

You will all vacate these quarters
at once.

♪ Your Redeemer's conflict... ♪

You're late, Simon.
- Sorry.

♪ Watch with Him one bitter hour

♪ Turn not from... ♪

Any luck?
- No.

Ulmann's tearing the place apart.

Well, that's it, then.

♪ ...Jesus Christ to pray ♪

Good morning, Pastor.
I'm very sorry to have kept you waiting.

It's kind of you to see me, Kommandant.

Please take a seat.
- Thank you.

Your letter says that
you wish to see me, Pastor.

It does not say why.

I thought it better if I explained the
matter to you personally, Kommandant.

Please.

Colditz is a small town, Kommandant.

The people are very close to the church.

Easter is a very important festival
for them.

Yes, yes, I'm sure.

I have been informed
that the Bishop of Leipzig

is to honour our little church
with his presence on Easter Friday.

Naturally, I had hoped
to make a good impression.

We have a congregation, Kommandant.
We have a fine organ

and an excellent organist.

Alas, we have no choir.

All the young men are in the army.
The boys are in the Hitlerjugend.

Even the girls have been drafted
to work on the farms.

We did have something of a choir,
but they were old men

and now they have been called up
into the Landwacht

I am not sure why
this should concern me, Pastor.

I thought I heard a choir
a few moments ago.

Yes, yes. Some of the prisoners.

Oh, I see.

I wonder if
I understand you correctly, Pastor?

Did you have it in mind that we should
provide a choir from this camp

to sing in your church at Easter?

I had hoped, Kommandant, that you would
at least consider the possibility.

But this is a high security
prison, Pastor.

I naturally assumed that
the men would be under guard.

To permit a group of men to
go down into the town, even under guard,

is a risk which I would be
most reluctant even to consider.

I would not have asked you, Kommandant,

except that I know that last summer

some of your prisoners
were taken to bathe in the river

and there was a football match
at one time, I believe.

That was some years ago, Pastor.

Most of the men here have been locked up
for some considerable time.

The desire to escape is,
in many of them, an obsession.

You would not believe, Pastor,
the ingenuity and the patience

with which men occupy their time
in trying to get out.

Now, it is not for me
to make it any easier for them.

I had hoped that amidst
all this aggression and suffering,

we could have brought even
a handful of people together

in the common worship of God.

The men you have here, Kommandant,
may be our enemies,

but they're not God's enemies.

The bastard is smiling. That is no good.

If I might have your attention,
gentlemen, please, for a moment?

At 0845 on Monday, the 20th of April,

which coincidentally happens to be
the birthday of the Führer,

the entire French contingent
will assemble in the courtyard,

clad in winter clothing, with
your personal belongings prepared for...

evacuation. That is all, gentlemen.

Major.

Yes?

Are we to be told where we are going?

If it is of interest to you,
yes, I can tell you.

You're going to Oflag IV-A

near Konin.

It is a little cold there
this time of the year,

but unlike Colditz,

there will be work enough
to keep you warm.

Gentlemen.

Konin? Where is that?

Where is it? Where is it!

It is in Poland!

A filthy labour camp in Poland!

3,000 kilometres from the Swiss border

and 3,000 kilometres
from the Italian border!

Um, what's going to happen
to the radio?

What did you think, about the radio?

We take it with us, the radio.
What else?

♪ Your Redeemer's conflict see

♪ Watch with Him one bitter hour

♪ Turn not from His griefs away... ♪

No, no, no!

Gentlemen! Gentlemen, see,
we cannot hear the words.

Once more.

♪ Go to dark Gethsemane

♪ Ye that feel the tempter's power

♪ Your Redeemer's conflict see ♪

Cigarette, Colonel?

Thank you.

Please.

I have a request from the pastor
of the Protestant church in the town.

He has asked if we could provide a choir
to sing in his church at Easter.

What do you think of the idea, Colonel?

I'm sure they'll be most enthusiastic.

It's good for morale, hmm?

Yes, very good.
- Good.

You appreciate, Colonel,

that if I give my permission
for these men to go into town,

I am accepting
a considerable responsibility.

Yes, of course.

I would expect you
to give me your word of honour

that no escape attempt will be made
by any member of this choir.

Kommandant, I can give you a parole
on behalf of the British officers,

but I believe there are some Poles
and some French in the choir.

I can't speak for them.

I have already spoken to
the senior Polish and French officers.

I have their paroles.

Well, in that case, I give you my word

that no British officer
will attempt to escape.

Thank you.

Good.

Very well.
I will speak with the pastor tomorrow

and inform you of what arrangements
he wishes should be made.

Any chance of joining your mob, Padre?

I'm sorry, Hoppy.

Come along, Padre. You know,
I used to be in the choir at school.

You're all too late.

♪ Onward Christian soldiers... ♪

God has become popular all of a sudden.

Surely you've got room
for a couple more, Padre?

I don't recall there
being this eagerness

when I first asked for volunteers.

Just the weather for a nice
little stroll down into the town.

Fresh nip in the air.

First flowers of spring...

♪ All things bright and beautiful... ♪

Don't you start!
- Shut up!

All those who are going to choir
practice, fall in, gentlemen, please.

I can hardly believe it.

In a couple of minutes, we're actually
going to walk right out of this place.

You want to be right marker?

Well, what's the idea of this?

What's the matter, Padre?

Well, this man is not a member
of our choir.

Captain André Vaillant?
- At your service, Captain.

That's the name on the list, Padre.

This man has not rehearsed with us.

Where is Captain Mariel?

Captain Mariel
has been taken ill, Padre.

A little mal de stomach.

But I will not disappoint you.

Listen.

♪ Ave, ave

♪ Ave Maria ♪

You see?
I've got what you call “timbre”

Don't worry.

Gentlemen,

your senior officers
have given their parole

that there will be no attempt at escape

and that you will conduct yourselves
in an orderly and dignified manner

while in the town of Colditz.

I need not remind you
that any breach of parole

will have the most serious consequences.

Right, and turn!

Left, turn!

Parade, forward march!

Left, right, left,

left, left,

left, right, left.

Hey, grab a bit of skirt for me, chaps.

Left, left,

left, right, left.

Left, left,

left, right, left,

left, left.

In a dignified and orderly manner,
the man said.

Left, left,

left, right, left.

Halt!

Flight Lieutenant Carter.

Parade, turn and stand easy!

Lieutenant Jordan?

Good morning.
- Good morning.

If you would be kind to accompany me
into the church.

Your men can arrange the choir
through the other door.

By all means.
- Bitte.

The rest of you follow me.

Right, attention!

Fall out!

It's beautiful.
- Isn't it? Gorgeous.

Fantastic.

I've thrown better fish
back into the sea.

Not in the last four years he hasn't.

Now, gentlemen.
Gentlemen, your attention, please.

The procedure is as follows.

The pastor
will address the congregation,

and this will be followed
by a short prayer.

And the organist
will play an introduction,

and the first hymn we sing is hymn 100.

It appears to be an old German tune,

which is fortunate.

So now, if you'll listen to
the introduction from the organ

and please try and come together.

Thank you, Pastor.

♪ Go to dark Gethsemane... ♪

Time to return, gentlemen.

As quickly as you can, please.

Fall in quickly, gentlemen.

Psst!

Not to be afraid.

I just want to say hello.

English?
- A little.

Right. What is your name?

Gerda.

You are very beautiful, Gerda.

You are like a rare flower in spring.

Tender, beautiful.

Delicate.

I am André Vaillant.

Where have you been, Captain Vaillant?

I am sorry, my hymn book, I lose it.

I thought we'd lost you for a minute.

Just a little distraction,
un Petit tête-a-tête.

Flight Lieutenant Carter?
- Sir.

Parade, attention!

Right turn!

Forward march.

Left, left, left, right, left.

Left, left, left, right, left.

Oh, my God. Here they come.
Just look at them.

Smug as hell.

How did it go, you lucky bastards?

I rather cared for that blonde
you were chatting to.

Yeah, those two brunettes
weren't bad, either.

Oh, you're joking.

I hope you fellows didn't completely
waste your time down there.

Oh, no, we managed to nick you
a few souvenirs.

See, chaps?
We didn't forget about you entirely.

Four wood screws,

one electric light socket
and four assorted keys.

One German lavatory chain.

Twenty feet of sash cord,
half a dozen teaspoons.

Oh, well done, chaps.

One mirror, two doorknobs
and a hassock.

I thought you looked
a bit preggers when you walked in.

Damn liberty that Frenchman,
horning in like that.

Yes. Well, actually,
he had rather a good voice.

Yeah, he would have. He's the sort
of bloke that does everything well.

Ca c'est la vie!

♪ It is finished

♪ Hear Him cry

♪ Trust in Christ

♪ And learn to die ♪

Excellent, gentlemen. Truly splendid.

Sehr gut! Very good.

Excellent. Excellent!

Maybe they'll book us for a tour.

Gentlemen. Gentlemen!

The pastor wishes to say how delighted
he is with your performance.

He expresses the conviction
that Friday's service

will be a success
due to your cooperation.

Next week, Leipzig Cathedral.

Now, gentlemen, if you please,
we have to hurry,

or we'll be late for Appel.

Quickly please, gentlemen.

Psst!

{

Henri!

You speak German?

Not now, André.

What is Abfluss?

Comment?
- Abfluss.

Abfluss? I don't know.

Eh, think, think! Abfluss.

Abfluss.

Abfluss. Uh...

A pipe.

A pipe?

No, impossible.

You asked me, I'm telling you.

Psst.

A pipe, a pipe. What else?

A pipe.

A drain, a sewer,
or something like that.

A drain?

Can I go to sleep now?

Oui, merci.

A drain?

Marcel.

There are a few things I need urgently.

Mmm-hmm?

What things?

A travel warrant, a passport, a visa
and 1,000 German marks.

You also require perhaps
a motorcar and a chauffeur?

I will pay.

That goes without saying.
- Everything I have in my closet,

and the concession for
the cigarettes and the liquors.

It will take a long time.
- I must have them by Friday.

Impossible.
- Impossible? But you will do it.

Capitaine, are you planning
on leaving us?

Poland is too cold for my
warm Mediterranean blood.

Like the birds, I have decided
to fly south for the summer.

Parade.

Halt.

Parade, right turn!

And right! At ease.

What's the old boy going on about?

He says he doesn't want dogs
in the church.

Quite right, too.

Lieutenant Jordan.

Gentlemen, file into the church.

Well, you'd better be quick about it.

Parade, attention! Turn!

Fall out!
- Now.

This choir is not what it used to be.

Yeah, gone down the drain.

You will be charged
with forging official documents,

and in possession of state papers.

Sir?
- Yes.

This man.

He's with the choir. André Vaillant.

Everybody out here immediately.

Jawohl, Herr Major.

♪ Go to dark Gethsemane

♪ Ye that feel the tempter's power

♪ Your Redeemer's conflict see

♪ Watch with him... ♪

Everybody out!

The balloon's gone up.

Come on, gentlemen.

At once. Hurry up.

Move on.

Were you right marker?
- I don't know. Was I?

Come on, gentlemen. Quickly.

Hurry up!
- No, no. Come on.

I'm right marker.
- You're what?

Quicker than that, Ulmann.
- That's enough!

You will kindly line up
without further talk.

And where is Captain Vaillant?

Ulmann, march them back
to the camp at once.

I am extremely disappointed,
Colonel Preston.

And I am responsible only for
the British officers, Kommandant.

This man could not have escaped
without some assistance.

Your men must have collaborated
in some way.

I doubt it.

Well, we shall soon find out.

What have you got in there?
- Nothing especially.

Identity card.

Everything is all right, Oberleutnant.

Come on, come on.
Move it out of the way.

My God.

One night in that stinking drain,
and I smell like a skunk.

You are not embarrassed to see
a man naked like this?

I grew up in big family, many brothers.

Oh.

Where are they now? In the army?

One is dead, in Africa.

The other is on the East front.

My little brother is prisoner of war
in Russia.

Oh. It's sad.

What about the rest of your family?

My mother died three months past.

My father is worker in factory
in Leipzig.

He come home only at weekends.

So, you live here alone?
- Ja.

Ah, that is better.

Now, no longer I smell like Schwein.

Tell me, why do you do this?

It will be very bad for you
if you get caught.

Why?
- I do not know.

For my brother, perhaps.

I hope maybe in Russia,
some woman be kind to him.

You are a beautiful person, Gerda.

Inside as well as outside.

Why do they come here?
- They were here this morning.

Look, I'll be gone soon.

Look, I have papers and documents.

I can take a train out of here.

There is a train, 8:20 in the morning.
It go to Stuttgart.

This afternoon I buy you ticket.
- Right.

You buy two tickets.

You come with me.

It'll be dangerous for you to stay here.

You come with André.

I'll take you with me into the sunshine.

Besides, a man and woman travelling
together, we could be man and wife.

It would look better.

They look for one man.
One man alone, more suspicious.

Do you understand?

But I have Papa.

Cherie.

Pretty soon now, the war will be over.

You will be able to come back.

But it has been grey for you too long.

You are pretty.

You should feel the sun on your face.

You need love and laughter.

You buy two tickets.

You know, your French friend has
really dropped the Colonel in it.

I don't know.

It wasn't our fault.

Was it?
- Certainly not.

I'll bet they're really
tearing the town apart looking for him.

I can't forgive him
for ruining the service.

He must have had
the whole thing planned.

No.

To André.

Yeah, well, good luck to him.

I hope he makes it.

He's probably halfway to France by now.

Je t'aime.

No. No, you do not mean it.

I swear.
- No, it is only because...

Whatever happens, all my life

I will remember this little moment.

With you, like a little child.

You... You were very gentle.

Tomorrow, you come with me.

No, I cannot.
- We'll leave this war behind.

André...
- The war is for soldiers,

not for lovers.

How do you say in French?

Je t'aime.
- Je t'aime.

It's too late now to change our mind.

Come.

Perhaps it will be late.

German trains always run on time.

That is one thing
the Führer did for Germany.

Stuttgart?
- Jawohl.

I have just been going through
the effects of Vaillant, sir.

I found this.

"Gerda."

Do you know who she is?
- No, sir.

I have informed the SS.

It would not work, André.

Are you mad?

We cannot stay here.
Come, we buy the ticket on the train.

No, please! You go, I stay.

I beg you.
- Please, go quickly.

One day, I'll be back. You'll see.

Poor beggars.

I don't suppose many of them will
ever see France again, do you?

No.

I say, chaps, guess what?

With the compliments
of Captain Vaillant.

Our own wireless, at last!

You think he'll make it?
- Who, Vaillant?

Yeah, he'll make it.

I can see him now.

Lying on a beach in the south of France.

"Into the sunshine."

Couple of blondes on either side of him.