Colditz (1972–1974): Season 2, Episode 5 - Frogs in the Well - full transcript

British contingent dismissed!

The theatre.

The window from the theatre
into the corridor around the light well.

Yeah.
- It's a drop of six foot.

From the window here,

here, down to the bottom
of the light well, it's exactly 30 feet.

None of us have ever been
into the German kitchens.

Are you sure you can get from there
out into the courtyard?

Yes.

We drop down into the bottom
of the light well

while the Jerries
are changing the guard.



Now, I've timed it.
There's always two minutes clear

until the next guard comes on
following the afternoon Appell...

We then nip into the kitchens,
pinch a couple of overalls,

walk across the courtyard,

and straight out of the castle
as kitchen staff.

You hope.

Well, if it's that easy, let's all go.

It will work.

Why don't you go at night?
- No, there's always a guard there.

So, all we need apart from
the usual papers and things

is some civilian clothes.

Tim won't have any trouble with that.

I can't believe it's that simple.

For a start, there's a problem
with those bars.



They're an inch in diameter.

Yeah, you'll have to use a silent saw.

That's just razor blades.
They'll keep breaking.

They're much too slow.
Can't we use heavier saws?

No. It doesn't matter that it's slow.
The important thing is it's silent.

I mean, that guard's only
24 feet below you.

I suggest you go and take a look
for yourself and see what you think,

because as far as we're concerned,
it's going to work.

Who's going?
- Player and walsh, sir.

Why not Brent?
- No, sir, sorry, sir.

He's not fit enough. He pulled a muscle
on that last fake escape.

Well, let's hope it's lucky
this time for Player.

Well, Walsh speaks perfect German, sir.
They're going to go as brothers.

They are two of the fittest men
we have left.

All right.

I'll keep the head count the same
at Appell... by bringing out our ghosts.

I've had two men holed up
for almost three weeks.

It's about time I got them out.

I don't suppose they'd be too unhappy
about that.

Do you think you will be able
to get the theatre open, sir?

It won't work unless you do.

Well, it's a tall order, but I'm seeing
the Kommandant again today,

I'll have another go at him.

I'm sorry, Colonel.

I cannot possibly consider reopening the
theatre after what happened last year.

But surely, Kommandant,
the Protecting Power

wouldn't agree that the facility
should be withheld permanently.

But nevertheless it was closed
as a punishment.

A year is a long time, Kommandant.

Is the punishment to be
extended indefinitely?

It's very hard we should be denied
this facility for another winter.

October is hardly winter, Colonel.

But it's a question of morale,
Kommandant.

I mean, last year it held together.

If the officers have something
to occupy them,

there's far less chance of a breakdown
of order and discipline.

Yes.

I will give consideration to
what you say. Good day, Colonel.

What happens
once you're in the kitchens?

Are you sure they won't be full
of German cooks?

No, we're not. But from
all the information we've collected,

they should be empty.

Marquand, what happens if they're not?
- Oh, come off it.

This is insane. We can't rely
on everything going smooth.

The whole thing is a gamble.

Have you seen your papers?

Vaisey's doing a lovely job on them.

When will the saw be ready?
- By tonight.

Well, I think, Simon,
we're going to have enough material

if I cheat a little on the length.

Well, the whole thing is academic
if we don't get the theatre.

I was not aware
that the prisoners had done anything

to warrant the restoration
of their privilege, sir.

Use of the theatre
has usually been considered

a right, Major, not a privilege.

It is not our business
to pamper these men, sir.

They're enemies of the Reich
and should be treated accordingly.

If you have a large number of prisoners
concentrated in one place,

it'll be easier to keep them
under surveillance, Kommandant.

I take your point, Ulmann.
You think it might even help security?

With respect, sir, it is my opinion

that Colonel Preston's request
should be denied.

The request might
just as easily have come

from the senior French, Dutch,
Polish officer.

Colonel Preston spoke for all of them.

According to your records, sir,

it was the British who escaped
from the theatre last year.

Surely all the nationalities
with the exception of the British

should have the privilege restored.

Nevertheless, I have decided

that the theatre shall be opened
to all prisoners

from first Appell... to last Appell...

I shall see that a regular watch is kept

and I think it'll help if I initiated
spot checks from time to time.

Good. That will be your responsibility.

The mistakes of a year ago
will not be repeated, Kommandant.

Dick! Dick!

Captain Downing?
- Yes, Hauptmann.

Who is in charge of this show?
- Show?

I presume that all this activity

is leading up to
some kind of performance.

Well, yes, but it's rather early days,
you see.

But there will be a show?
- Well, that's the general idea, yes.

Who's in charge?
Who is running the production?

Well, no one really.
It's sort of a joint effort.

You see, the French are going
to supply the music,

and the Dutch are going
to do some folk dancing. we're...

If this facility is to be used,
it'll be used properly.

I want to see a programme.

Well, I'm afraid there isn't one,
not yet.

I mean, you can't expect us to run
this place like a theatre of war.

If there is no one in charge
then you shall be responsible.

Me? But...
- I want to see a programme.

I want to see a proper show.
None of your bawdy British humour.

We may be inviting some
very important guests.

Well, you can't expect me
to organise this crowd.

I expect a list of the acts

and the contents of these acts
by the end of the week.

End of the week?

The 29th, I think, is the proper date
for the performance.

But it's quite impossible.

Impossible or not,
you shall see to it, Captain Downing.

Carry on, gentlemen.

That's the seventh of those
you've broken.

I said you should handle them gently.

We were doing it
as carefully as possible.

I wish you'd take care
and stop being so ham-fisted.

It's bloody painful trying
to put these together.

Look, it's bloody painful
trying to saw through those bars.

Just calm down.
- It's just not good enough.

I had to scrounge
every single one of those blades.

Now, I'm sorry,
Jerry's bound to think something is up

when the whole British contingent
start growing beards.

Well...

Simon!
- Hmm?

Well, we'll be through the second bar
by tomorrow.

By morning?
- Yes.

You know, I've been thinking,

you've only got two minutes,

you're going to need every second
you've got.

Don't climb all the way down the rope.
When you think you can make it, jump.

How about if we break an ankle?
You did.

I dropped 16 feet.

Now, Downing's going to be with you
in the corridor.

So he'll pull up the rope
and put the bars back.

I'll get the two ghosts out of the hole
before evening Appell...

Do you want to give it a try tomorrow?

Yeah.
- Right. I'll check on the papers.

Mohn coming this way.

Can it not wait until the morning,
Mr Carter?

No, I couldn't sleep.

Thinking of Cathy?

Who do you think of, Major?

People are unimportant, Mr Carter.

It's only ideals that matter.
- Yeah, that's right.

It's all a game, isn't it?
- No, not at all.

But that is trouble with you English.
To you everything is a game.

Perhaps that's why you lose.
Still, no matter.

At least you can't lose this one.

Well, Heldenfeld did.
- I beg your pardon.

I thought you were supposed
to be good at this.

I have played in the semi-finals...
- In Berlin in 1935.

That is correct.

Well, then you should
recognise this game.

You have me at a disadvantage,
Mr Carter.

Heldenfeld versus Keiner, Vienna 1936.

Keiner won. It's white to move.

I had no idea that
you were such a devotee.

Well, it passes the time.

Or that you were the possessor of
a photographic memory.

Huh? Oh.

Captain Ulasewitz lent it to me.

Or that you read German.
- No, I just look at the pictures.

Do you win, Mr Carter?
- Occasionally.

And on this occasion
will you beat Herr Keiner?

I don't know. Could you?

From this position?
- Yeah.

It is possible.

Show me.
- At this hour?

Well, are you tired, Major?
- No.

You got better things to do?
- What could be better than winning?

Right. It's my move.
And you're in trouble.

But we play without the book, Mr Carter.

Herr Keiner has assisted you far enough.

You're losing, Major. You've bitten off
more than you can chew.

That is not possible, Mr Carter.

In fact it is your game
that is slipping.

Well, just you wait.

Oh, I'm in check.

Not check, Mr Carter, mate.

You overlooked the bishop.
You lose.

Oh, where did I go wrong?

It was your rook to rook six
that was the bad move.

Rook five was playable,

but rook six allowed me
to move my knight

and open the fire to the bishop.

The open fire, Mr Carter.

You must always beware.

Still you surprised me,
you played quite well.

Yeah, but not well enough I'm afraid.

Do not be discouraged, Mr Carter.

You have the book and you have the time.

A little study will be amply repaid.

Uh, a word of advice, Mr Carter.

Yes, Major?

You concentrate too much
on the smaller issues

and you overlook the large objective.

Thank you, Major.

Not at all, Mr Carter.
I bid you goodnight.

Goodnight, Major.

Game, set and match.

Sir.

Yes, Corporal, what can I do for you?

Sir, my words exactly,

what, I says to myself, can Hopkins
do to promote the war effort?

Yes?

Sir, it's like this.
There's been a change where I work.

Now, where's that?
- In the laundry.

And I know how as I can get my hands
on some civilian clothes,

Jerry civvies...
- What?

German civilian clothes?
- That's right, sir.

You see, they pass through another part
of the laundry.

Right next door to where I am.

All you have to do is say
what you want, sir.

Won't the Germans notice?

No, stuff goes missing all the time
in the laundry.

Mix-ups and that.

I think those French orderlies skive off
with quite a bit, sir.

Well, thanks, Corporal.
I'll take all you can get.

Anytime, sir.

Who was that?
- Who?

That fellow you were talking to.

Oh, that's one of the orderlies.

Have any of the orderlies tried
to escape yet?

No.
- Well, why?

We don't involve NCOs in our escapes.

Why not?

Because, well,
officers have a duty to escape.

If we're caught, the worse we can
expect is a few weeks in solitary.

With NCOs, well, they get sent back
to really rough camps.

We take the line that that's too risky.

What, even helping?

They get the same
for aiding and abetting.

Well, surely it's their duty to escape.
- Look here...

What's your name?
- Braithwaite, sir.

Well, Braithwaite, do you mind?

Right, sir.

How many times did Ulmann come in?

Three. Once just for a look, the other
times for a pretty thorough search.

So, in your critical two minutes,

the whole place could be crawling
with Germans.

We have to find a way of diverting
that guard's attention in the auditorium

and a way of locking the theatre doors.

It doesn't have a lock.
Jerry uses a padlock.

Not that that's mattered much.

Anyway the guard would
never let you near it.

How about pushing a piece
of scenery into the corridor?

That's a good idea.
- Oh, come on.

It's pretty obvious, isn't it?

Look, we have to find a way
of blocking that door

or the whole thing could be off.

Why couldn't you just leave it?
Go a day later.

Well, that doesn't solve the problem.

The piano.
- What?

Shove the piano into the corridor
and get it jammed, that would do it.

It still doesn't divert the guard.

George could always do a striptease.

Oh, come on, I'm serious.

What's that rig-up do?

The DC supply creates a magnetic field.

If I pass the needle enough times
through this solenoid,

it'll be magnetised.

What Player needs is
a guidebook, not a compass.

British contingent.
Contingent, dismissed!

Jim, go and see the M.O.
- Will.

Come on, are you ready?

It's all right. We've got permission.

Yeah, yeah, keep it going!
- Hold it, hold it.

No, now we're stuck.

What's going on?
What do you think you're doing?

We're moving this.

Don't be facetious. Where do you think
you're moving this piano?

Just down the corridor.
- Who gave you permission?

It's chaos in there, Hauptmann,
when everything gets going.

The clog dancing, the band,
the Poles doing their bit.

This temperamental soloist wishes
to rehearse down the corridor.

Why can't he rehearse in there?
- Because of the noise.

That is no reason.
Take it back where it belongs.

He is not going to like it.

I do not care.
Take it back where it belongs.

Okay, okay.
- We appear to have jammed it.

We have to go the other way.

We're going that way.
- That way first, George.

George, are you sure it's going
to go round?

Hey! Hey! Hey!
- Get off it! It's valuable! Get off!

Hey, what are you two doing?

We're going to escape from here.
- But you can't!

Who are you to say we can't?

We have been working on this route
for weeks.

Now, look, we've got less than a minute
till that guard changes.

I know, but we go from here.

Have you cleared this with
your escape officer?

Don't you understand?
We were here first.

Nobody stops you.
We go, you go, everybody go.

Oh, come on!

If you go too, then the whole
damned attempt is too risky.

Not for us.

You can't tell us what to choose!

Damn it!

I know nothing.
What do you expect me to do?

You have to call it off.
- Call it off. Just like that.

I don't know of no escape.
- You've got a perfectly good liaison

to prevent this sort of thing happening.

Yes, you've been observing
and preparing this attempt for weeks.

I asked you four weeks ago
to stay out of the theatre.

Now, that's still a plan.
- There can be no excuse.

As for myself,
I know of no approved escape

planned by French officers.

If what you say is correct I'll have
to see the plan is approved officially.

Our escape takes precedence.
- Precedence! On what authority?

You stay out of there until I tell you.

I now have to take this matter up
with the Senior French Officer.

Come in.

Andre, what the hell is going on?

I thought we agreed recently
we would liaise properly.

Now, two of your officers are ruining
a British escape attempt.

You refer to the light well?
- Yes, I refer to the light well.

But the same plan was conceived quite
independently by my officers.

The French were told
about this weeks ago.

Now, I'm asking you on behalf
of my officers

who have worked very hard and very long
on this plan to call your men off.

No, John, the argument is without point.
Let us accept the fact

that two French officers
and two English officers

wish to escape by the light well.

Oh, for God's sake, Andre.

Our escape was planned
for this afternoon.

Yes, but consider the object of escape
is not merely to escape.

Our actions are calculated
to harass the enemy.

Now, your officers, if they get away,
where will they go?

With luck, Switzerland.
- And then to England.

Yes, yes, yes.

My two officers will go directly
to contacts in France,

where they will join the free French

and fight under the direction
of General de Gaulle.

These two officers are violently
anti-Petainists.

Well, what the hell do you think
my two officers are?

Violently pro-Hitler?

Now remember, Andre, those men will
be back in the fighting soon enough.

Our mutual enemy are the Germans,
you know, not each other.

Exactement. Then you must not deny
my men this opportunity.

Four men cannot possibly go
by that method at the same time.

Well?

Liars! It's a compromise.

The French won't be reasoned with.
They're going to go.

It's downright bloody unfair.
- Yes, it is.

The SBOs insisted that we go first
with the Frogs going a day later.

That will give you a 24-hour start
on it.

But then we're right back
to square one again.

The next day, the Jerries will still be
searching the countryside

for two escaped prisoners.
- It's plain stupidity.

Take it or leave it.

Right.

Compromise, rotten compromise.

British contingent.
Contingent, dismissed!

Flight Lieutenant Carter, get up!

I place you under arrest
for assaulting a German guard.

I believe you've taken over
from Flight Lieutenant Carter

during his isolation.

That's right.

None of your men were missing
at this Appell...

I presume they did not leave
as you promised.

Now it's our turn.

Go ahead.

And you will not hinder us,
try to cause another postponement?

It's our tough luck.

We'll keep our word.

Assaulting a guard
in the execution of his duties

is a very serious offence.

What do you say, Colonel?
- It was an accident, Kommandant.

I fail to see how such a thing
could be an accident.

I believe that higher authorities
should be informed.

An example should be made of this man.

Major Mohn, do you know
what you're suggesting?

You are asking that
Flight Lieutenant Carter be shot.

Nevertheless, the fact remains
that Mr Carter assaulted Corporal Metke.

I recommend that
the severest punishment be enforced

as an example to others
who would attack the guards.

Very well, Major.
I will speak to Colonel Preston alone.

It may be, Colonel, that
this alleged assault was an accident.

But that does not excuse the fact
that one of your men

was fighting with a Dutch officer.
Is that correct?

Yes, Kommandant I believe so.
I regret that.

But every officer in that theatre
can testify

that there was no assault intended
or, in fact, done

upon any German guard.
It was an accident.

However you seek to justify
Flight Lieutenant Carter,

he behaved in a childish
and schoolboy fashion.

He caused damage to property
in the theatre.

But more important, Colonel,

his action has endangered
the very existence of the theatre

as an amenity for other officers.

Yes, Kommandant.

I'm prepared to accept the fact
that it was an accident.

It will not be referred
to higher authority.

Thank you.

But Flight Lieutenant Carter will serve
four weeks in solitary confinement.

Good day, Colonel.

I wonder how far they've got.

I expect a postcard
any day actually, old chap.

Goodnight, everybody.

Goodnight.

Try not to lose them again.

Carry on, Ulmann.

So it was not such a good plan
after all.

Oh?

It is very fortunate
that your men did not leave.

Really? They left yesterday.

Herr Major, I would not have thought

that the return
of the two escaped prisoners

would have made you so despondent.

Two French officers escape
and we recapture them very easily.

Most fortunate.

It was not the case with
the British officers a few months ago.

They vanished completely.

What are you inferring, Herr Major?

It is possible that no one escaped.
- Two men went missing.

They must now be presumed to have
made successful their escape.

It's regrettable, but it's a fact.
- Is it?

Are you saying they never left?
- I am saying, sir, they never arrived.

What exactly are you suggesting, sir?

They were never seen,
they were never heard of

and they certainly
never sent a postcard.

A postcard?

In previous cases, sir,
a successful British home run

has always been announced
by the arrival of a postcard.

If they have not arrived,
they have not left.

Then according to your logic, sir,
they must still be here.

I want a snap Appell... now,
with your permission, sir.

As you think fit, Hauptmann.

One prisoner short, sir.

Has it been overlooked that Mr Carter
is in solitary confinement?

All correct now, sir.

That is a first.

Dismiss them, Ulmann.

British contingent.
Contingent, dismissed.

I want every man
standing by his bed. Now!

Thank you.

Hauptmann, number of prisoners
in this dormitory?

24, Herr Major.

Number now present? Count them.
You take that side.

11, Herr Major.
- 12. That makes 23.

Flight Lieutenant Carter
is still in solitary. That makes 24.

Very well, gentlemen.
Let me have your attention.

You're all present and accounted for.

We will now have an identity parade.

Captain Downing?
- Yes.

Captain Downing, step forward please.

Thank you. Over there.

Captain Brent.

Thank you. Over there.

Captain Abel.

Thank you. Over there.
Lieutenant Player.

Lieutenant Player!
- Present.

Stand over there.

That is not Lieutenant Player.
Where's Player?

I do not know, sir.

Let me understand you, Major.

The British contingent is complete
yet there are two men missing.

Player and walsh, sir.
- How can this be?

I believe the British have been using
a system of substitution, sir.

How can this be?

In an earlier escape, sir,

it was presumed
that four men left the castle.

In fact, I now know for certain
that only two men escaped.

The other two remained here, hidden
and cared for by their colleagues.

Two men choosing to endure
even harsher confinement?

It does not seem possible, Major.

Not the same men all the time, sir.

I believe they were changed
on a rota basis.

But what would be the purpose
of this exercise?

In the event of a real escape,
the absence of those involved

could be covered up at an Appell...
by bringing out the substitutes.

In that way the count
would remain the same.

Very well, Major.

If your theory is correct,
what is the situation now?

Do we scour the countryside
for these men?

Or do we look beneath our feet?

Warm.

Yes!

Warmer!

Warmer!

Very hot!
- Silence!

Yeah, why not?

Oh, Mr Carter,

you will be sad to hear that
the theatre is closed.

All right, I'm sad.

By the way,
you are not going to be shot.

Yeah, I know.

What's all the noise?

It's just routine, Mr Carter.

Why the other two?

Well, those are your extra men,
Mr Carter.

You keep them hidden.

You bring them out when you need them.

And, that way, I never know
how many men you have, where they are

or where they will next appear.

Oh, that's too advanced for me,
I'm afraid.

I'm just learning the game.

So am I, Mr Carter.

Have you found them?

Have we lost them?