Cold Feet (1997–…): Season 8, Episode 2 - Episode #8.2 - full transcript

I want to be happy.

I suppose we all do, but...

..to me that's...

..finding someone to share my life with.

- Yet, she evades me.
- Right.

So, tell me about your father.

♪ I've been a wild dog In this here part of town

♪ No gunslinger No fool could bring me down... ♪

Hm, your father was a homosexual.

Bisexual.

Look, forgive me but, erm...



..shouldn't I be the one on the couch?

I like to be unconventional.

And comfortable.

♪ I'm stuck

♪ That boy, he mess me up... ♪

Und ven you found out dat your father vas a bisexual...

Tell me, is that how you really speak

or do you think that accent makes you sound more convincing?

Ve vill get to your racism later.

But...back to your father.

Oh, God...

♪ I'm stuck

♪ I'm stuck, man, I'm stuck. ♪

- Hi.
- So much for therapy.



All they want to do is talk about my dad's sexuality.

Maybe that's the most interesting thing about you.

- Ellie Marsden?
- Extraordinary.

I'm the one running the business. Every package we get is for her.

- I'll take that. Hi, Adam.
- Hey.

- Hang on, I want to know what's in it.
- Let me check.

- As I thought. It's not addressed to you.
- Ellie...

- Ellie!
- Teenagers.

- Yeah, well, you'd know.
- Yeah, he still hates me - Matthew.

Hi, Liv.

Hey, why do you only see therapists who are men?

Well, because I am a man.

What, you don't think a woman

can get an insight into the male psyche?

If you were gonna do therapy, would you consider seeing a man?

- Fair point. I chose a woman.
- What, you've had therapy?

- Yeah.
- Recently?

When I split up with Eddie.

He reckoned the problem was with me, not him.

- I wondered if he might be right.
- God.

- You've had therapy.
- This is the woman I saw.

- You might like her.
- Why? Is she fit?

I'm joking! I'm joking!

Look, she has an interesting approach. You should call her.

Mum...

Sorry, sorry. We'll leave you in peace.

Sorry.

Hiya.

I thought you were going to fix this.

What?

The cupboard. It drives me up the wall.

- It's on my list.
- Anywhere near the top?

Er, I don't know. I've lost the list.

Hey, hey! Ah, ah, ah, that's not for you, cheeky.

Hey, we've got an audition for Lost Days.

- Oh, what?!
- That's great!

Oh, brilliant. That's amazing! Aw.

What's Lost Days?

Oh, it's a festival of art, music and literature.

It's near Macclesfield, I think.

- You've heard of it?
- No.

I just saw the application form on his laptop.

- Oh, Mum, I wish you wouldn't snoop.
- It's not snooping

if you leave it on the screen.

It's only the Emerging Talent Tent, but still...

Hello?

In a former age it was known as the Cavern Club.

Yeah. Hang on a sec.

Well, if you get in, we'll all come and see you.

- Can we?
- Yeah.

It's over 16s.

Aw...

Sorry, yes. Sorry.

I can talk now.

We've got a date for your test here at the hospital.

Tuesday at 11?

Yes, OK. Good.

Er, well, not good.

But, OK.

Yeah, we'll start with some blood tests and then...

We probably won't pass the audition.

Do you want me to drive the van again?

If you don't mind being our roadie.

Well, the money's crap but you get plenty of chicks.

Oh, Dad!

Who was that?

- Hey?
- On the phone.

Oh, erm, I've got an appointment.

I'm going to get my nails done.

Ooh, I could do with a manicure. Shall we go together?

No. No, I want to go on me own.

So, you said on the phone that Karen's an old flame of yours.

Karen?

Oh, no, no. She's an old friend of mine.

Oh, sorry!

I'm a little deaf in my right ear.

Maybe you should hold the phone to your left.

Mm.

Karen's an impressive woman.

Makes you wonder why she'd need therapy.

Oh, I think we could all benefit from learning more about ourselves.

- Well, that's why I'm here.
- Great.

Let me introduce you to the others.

What, so there's, erm...others?

I thought it was just going to be one-on-one.

- Didn't Karen explain how I work?
- No.

No, she was a bit evasive, come to think of it.

Don't worry. You'll quickly get the hang of things.

Everyone, welcome our newest member.

This is Adam.

Hi.

Right, we'll start with a couple of trust exercises.

♪ I'll be glad when you're dead You rascal, you... ♪

When a man is caught being furtive on the internet

it's usually because he's looking at porn.

I was checking the weather.

You're a lousy liar, David.

All right, it was porn.

Like I said, a lousy liar.

Job ads, again?

I'm going to have to put a filter on this.

I need a job.

- Why?
- Because I don't have one!

Or any savings.

I've told you. I've got more than enough for both of us.

It's embarrassing asking you for cash.

I've got you a present.

It's...

..a credit card linked to my account.

No, Nikki. I can't.

David, when you were working and Karen wasn't,

- did you resent the money she spent?
- No, of course not.

Well, there was the occasional dress that caused me to shudder.

So, don't go buying any dresses unless they'd suit me.

OK, so, here's how drama therapy works.

You cast others to play yourself,

your friends, family, whoever,

and then you direct them in a scene from your life.

Why don't you kick us off?

Erm, well...

Er, OK.

Hi, er...

I don't know what to do.

You want to learn more about your relationships, yeah?

Yeah.

How about acting out a typical scene with your friends

to examine how you think they perceive you.

OK.

Erm...

- So, Brenda, was it?
- Yeah.

Would you like to be my best mate Pete? You remind me of him.

In what way?

He's a very warm person.

- Hm.
- Di, you can be Jenny, Pete's wife.

Is she a warm person, too?

Eeeeh...

When you get to know her.

I mean, on the surface, she's more opinionated, a bit spiky.

I can do opinionated.

And spiky.

No, you're going to be great.

Er, and you can be my friend Karen.

She's elegant, sexy, cool.

- Think Lauren Bacall.
- OK.

Erm, David, Karen's ex-husband.

Ah, so, er...Humphrey Bogart?

More Hugh Grant with less charm.

A pompous oaf.

Close enough.

Er, and are you ready to be charming, good-looking, ironic?

- Sure. Who am I playing?
- Me.

So, self-aware as well?

You're doing ironic now, right?

So...

- ..where should we set this scene?
- Erm, OK.

- Pete and Jenny's living room.
- That's you two, then.

Come on, lard-ass, help me shift these chairs.

Oi!

She can't talk to me like that!

Er, no, no...

That's actually eerily accurate.

Good.

Yeah, good.

Thank you.

- Hi.
- I thought I told you to piss off.

I brought you chocolate.

The nurse tells me you're being discharged today.

So much for patient confidentiality.

Well, to be fair, she wouldn't give me your address.

What she did tell me is you've had no visitors, apart from me.

Not that that's any of your business.

Have you any family? I can tell them where you are.

Look, what is it you want?

I want to make sure that, when you leave here,

you don't do anything stupid.

Look, just cos you saved my life

doesn't mean I need your permission to kill myself.

Would you believe me

if I told you I've been in the same position as you?

What, mithered to death by some sanctimonious gobshite?

No! Looked over the edge. Stared at the abyss.

Look, all I'm saying...

..is I know exactly how you feel.

OK?

Here's my number.

You can call me, any time, day or night. And I mean it.

OK?

It's Pete, isn't it?

Yeah.

OK, Adam's given each of you an extensive...

- Mm-hm.
- ..rundown of your characters.

So, let's explore the dynamic between him and his friends.

- Adam?
- Yes?

- Oh, I'm sorry, yeah.
- You lead off.

Pete, me old mate.

My old mucker.

You know, Jenny's always had the hots for me.

Has she?

Oh, David.

Lover boy always had a way with the girls.

Whoa, whoa, whoa... What are you doing?

Oh, you said Karen's sexy.

- Yes.
- I'm being sexy.

Perhaps if you were a little less...

- Obvious.
- Let's get back on track.

You know, Adam's always had a very high opinion of himself.

Mm, to be fair, I did have a crush on him when I was at school.

And there was that moment years later

when you made a pass at him.

That's right, you did.

The truth is she's always carried a torch for me.

In your dreams!

We're just mates now.

Well, no, Jen, deep down, you still have feelings for me.

Why would you want her to?

Because Adam needs to feel he can have any woman he turns his mind to.

Not much of a friend, if it includes my wife.

There is a vein of selfishness that runs through him.

Not his most attractive quality.

- And then there's his arrogance.
- Arrogance?!

Yeah, the way you regard yourself as the lead singer

and the rest of us as the backing vocals.

- Like Boy George.
- And Culture Club.

Erm...

This helps me how, exactly?

How was school?

How's your meal?

Matt, I cooked you your dinner.

The least you could do is acknowledge that.

Thank you, Father.

This sauce is delicious. Did you microwave it yourself?

Maybe irony is genetic.

Matt, I've apologised about Gemma.

I don't know what else I can do.

Well, that's the problem right there, isn't it?

Hm?

My mates' dads make dad jokes.

We laugh about them behind thier backs. They're embarrassing.

But you're excruciating.

You're so keen to be down with the kids.

Don't you understand?

I don't want you to be my friend.

I want you to be my dad.

OK.

Thanks for dinner.

♪ Hello, darkness, my old friend

♪ I've come to talk with you again

♪ Because a vision softly creeping

♪ Left its seeds While I was sleeping

♪ And the vision

♪ That was planted in my brain

♪ Still remains

♪ Within the sound of silence. ♪

- Pete...
- Hm?

- Pete, your phone's ringing.
- What?

What time is it?

Jesus...!

- Hello?
- Pete.

- Who's this?
- Evan.

- Who?
- Who is it?

You said I could call you.

- Yeah, Evan, are you OK?
- No.

No, I'm not.

You do realise it's the middle of the night, mate?

Yeah. That the worst time, isn't it?

Yes.

Yes, it is.

Hang on a minute.

I'll take this downstairs.

I'm sorry, love.

Are you all right, mate? Where are you? Are you safe?

♪ And whispered In the sounds of silence. ♪

David, you're so thoughtful.

George never once bought me a new dress.

Well, he gave me money so I could,

but he'd have never known what suited me or fit me.

You are clever.

- Well, I had a bit of help.
- Oh?

Er, excuse me.

Erm, would you be willing to try this on for me?

It's for my girlfriend.

She's a similar, erm...

..design to you.

- OK.
- Oh, thank you.

Thank you very much.

She was very good about it.

Tried on three dresses

before we found the one that we thought was right.

Who looks better in it?

Wow...!

I would.

You do. By a country mile.

- Would you like to choose the wine?
- You always do.

Well, I have in the past, but since...

David, nothing has changed.

Just put it on the card and let's enjoy our evening.

In that case, we'll have a bottle of the Montrachet Premier Cru. - 2012

Certainly, sir.

♪ I got the eye of the tiger

♪ A fighter

♪ Dancing through the fire

♪ Cos I am a champion

♪ And you're gonna hear me roar... ♪

What?!

Oi! Oi! Hey, mate, back up.

- That's my space!
- You back up. I saw it first.

What?!

Urgh, rude!

Hey! Oi!

Excuse me, my appointment's in ten minutes.

- Mine's in five.
- You're joking...

Listen! Oi!

I might have cancer!

I've been given three months to live.

Well...

fine.

Hello.

Yep, that's fine.

- If you just take a seat over here for me.
- OK, thanks.

Found somewhere to park, then?

Ambulance bay.

Sorry about before.

Hey, it's a jungle out there.

You do or say whatever you need to.

Yeah.

It's not true, is it?

What you said about three months.

Who knows?

If I'm not here in three months, that's your answer.

Olivia, do you know what Ellie's ordering online?

Er, she's not, I don't think.

You're covering for her is laudable.

Slightly undermined by the evidence.

- She's not buying stuff. They're gifts.
- For her birthday?

Well, she's had a lot.

She's rinsing men.

I have no idea what that means.

She makes friends with men on the internet and they send her gifts.

What?!

- I'm just using my initiative.
- No, you are prostituting yourself!

Urgh, why won't you listen? It's got nothing to do with sex!

I cannot believe you're being so stupid!

No, I'm sorry. I mean naive.

- We never meet.
- They know where you live!

- We just talk over webcam.
- About what?

Nothing! Movies I've seen. Music I like.

- Why would they care?
- Thanks, Mum!

No, what I mean is, what's in it for them?

Friendship. They're just lonely, that's all.

What, in exchange for that, they buy you gifts?

I suggest stuff they might like to send me.

You know, a pair of shoes, a necklace I've seen.

Can you not see what's wrong with that?

- They're bound to want more!
- Well, they're not going to get it.

I don't know why you're having a go at me, you should be proud.

- What?!
- Men have always used women.

But now I'm the one in control. I'm not being exploited.

No, they are! That's not feminism!

That was your generation's struggle. We're way beyond all that.

So, you use the freedoms that we won to get men to buy you stuff.

- Designer labels.
- I want you to stop.

Mum, it's fine. You just don't understand, that's all.

You've had a busy day. A battery of tests.

Too right. I feel like a toasted sarnie.

There's a cafe near the entrance.

Oh, no, I meant, you know, literally.

Like I've been Brevilled.

It's good you can see the funny side.

You need a sense of humour.

Do I, seriously?

Some people prefer to wait till we have all the results.

Well, good for them.

But, I mean, if you know something already, then...

..I want to, too, please.

We'll need to see the outcome of your biopsy to be sure.

But I have to say your test results are highly suspicious

and indicative of cancer.

OK.

Thank you.

Oh, God.

Oh, shit.

- Hello.
- Hey.

- I didn't mean to intrude.
- No.

It's, erm...

It's fine.

Sorry. Erm...

Were you waiting for me?

I just thought I'd check to see you're OK.

Have you got a minute?

Yeah.

Till my parking runs out.

So, you got the news that no-one wants.

I knew it was a possibility or...

It doesn't make it any less of a shock.

No.

You don't have to talk.

We can just sit a while.

You're in therapy?

No. No, I'm doing drama therapy.

- There's a difference.
- In what way?

Well, for starters, I don't think it works.

But it's good fun. It's a bit like am-dram, but it's all about you.

Ah, yeah, I can see why you like it. No!

It can be quite confronting.

But people say very harsh things. You do.

Me?

Yeah, someone plays you and then we all improvise scenes together.

- So, what's he likes?
- Who?

- The bloke who plays Pete.
- Here you go.

Oh, you know, erm...

- You cheeky git. What, fat?
- No!

- I've lost shed-loads!
- Not fat.

Big-boned.

- She's very nice, though.
- She?

She?!

- Oh, I'm not being played by a woman.
- That's a bit sexist, Pete.

There aren't enough men. I'm played by a woman, too.

- I bet she's not big-boned.
- Well, you know...

I'll get this.

- What? Have you come into money?
- After a fashion.

Oh, hang on a minute.

Isn't that...?

That's Nikki. Yeah. It's a present.

So you're constantly reminded of who's money you're spending?

- Yeah, it cute, isn't it?
- Or controlling.

You're a kept man.

I prefer to see it as redressing the gender imbalance.

David Marsden, the feminist.

Well, one has to do one's bit.

I'm watching you, David.

So, erm...how are you getting on?

I just can't see any hope.

I don't know what there is to live for.

Well, if you kill yourself, you'll never find out.

Look, I once felt like you.

I've sat where you are. And now I'm sat next to you.

And one day, you'll be sat next to someone

and you'll be telling them the same thing.

It's going to be a crowded bench.

Look, my point is, hang in there.

Things'll get easier.

You know, and once your medication takes effect...

- You said that yesterday.
- It's 24 hours closer to kicking in.

Oh, sorry.

Adam?

Where are you? We're meant to be there.

Oh, shit! Sorry.

Something's come up.

Can you rearrange?

- Dad, it's an audition.
- Look, I know. I know.

- I'll call you in a minute.
- Oh, forget it.

Adam?

Adam!

Oh...!

Evan, wait!

Evan!

Oh!

Rinsing?

- I've never heard of it.
- I know.

They think of new ways to torment you.

I've got all this to come with our Chloe, I suppose.

No, she's a great girl.

Plus, she's got you and Pete.

Oh, my God...

What?

Are you OK?

Yes. Er, sorry.

I... I am. Of course, yes. Miles away.

Whoa!

What's this?

That is a manuscript that my business partner's asked me to read,

written by a friend of his.

Nina B St James. Never heard of her.

No, and you never will. Even the title's crap.

Love Comes Slowly.

- Romance or porn?
- Chic lit.

The sort of useless dross young women lap up

when they could actually be thinking.

- Not that I've read it.
- You are such a snob.

- I know.
- Well, it sounds good.

I'll read it.

Good. Thanks.

Tell me something nice I can say about it.

I could do with the distraction, frankly.

OK, who hasn't had a turn yet?

Adam, would you like to perform another scene?

I don't know. Is everyone just going to have a go at me?

You mentioned the other day that you have a son.

Matt. Yeah. He's, erm...17.

He's a great kid.

Karen, who you play, that's his godmother.

We're not getting on very well at the minute.

- You and Karen?
- No, Matt and I. Erm...

He thought I was trying to get off with his girlfriend.

- Maybe I should let someone else have a go.
- No.

No.

- Have you and Matt talked about this?
- Not much.

He did shout at me.

Why don't you try and explain yourself to him?

Oh. Erm...

Yeah, OK.

OK. Who'll be Matt? Erica?

- Can I be me?
- Yeah.

Oh, shall I be Karen again?

Erm, sure. Yeah, why not?

Oh, er, maybe not so...

..sexy this time.

- I can't help it.
- No.

OK, so, er, the scene is...

..we're at home.

Karen's turned up. I'm not sure why.

And, erm, I'm talking to Matt.

Why were you hitting on my girlfriend?

Well, erm...

..it was a misunderstanding.

You know, I...I never knew that she was.

And you think that makes it OK?

He's right, Adam.

What kind of sick individual tries to pull women

- young enough to be his daughter?
- Well...

..they're generally a wee bit older than that.

This boy never knew his mother.

Which means the example you set him is even more important.

But...you think I'm failing as a father?

You're not showing him how to have a long and lasting relationship.

I can't.

I've tried.

Angela, Tina...

But it never quite works.

Is it because of my mum?

She set the bar pretty high.

I'd like to talk about her more.

Would you?

You said yourself, we don't much.

I'm never sure you want to, so I don't bring her up.

Which makes me think you don't want to.

Oh, God, I'd love to make her real in your mind,

but I never feel that my words will do her justice.

Just hearing you talk like this

makes me realise how special she was.

Oh...

She was.

- Wasn't she?
- I never knew her, Adam.

But I can well believe it.

And so can I.

I need to go.

Matt?

Can I show you something?

Are you sure you want to watch this?

I used to when I was a kid.

I liked seeing it.

Are you sure you do?

Yeah.

♪ Wake up, step up to reality...

♪ In the morning when I wake

♪ And the sun is coming through

♪ Oh, you fill my lungs With sweetness

♪ And you fill my head with you

♪ Shall I write it in a letter?

♪ Shall I try to get it down?

♪ Oh, you fill my head with pieces

♪ Of a song I can't get out

♪ Can I be close to you? ♪

I miss her.

I miss the idea of her.

♪ Can I be close to you?

♪ Oooh

♪ Oooh. ♪

I'm going to stop seeing women half my age.

You need a mum.

Not a big sis or...

..or an aunt you might fancy.

And I need...

..not someone who'll replace your mum.

Someone to succeed her...maybe.

But even that's not easy.

I loved her so much. I mean, look at us.

The thought of spending the rest of my life with someone else...

..it still seems like...

..deep down, a sort of a betrayal.

I think Mum would just want you to be happy, Dad.

Oh, Ian. Hi.

You owe me an essay.

Yeah, sorry about that.

I need an extension.

Actually, you know what, I might need to defer my place.

Why? You're doing so well.

Thanks. Yeah, I am... I'm loving it.

It's just I've got stuff going on at home.

- It makes it difficult to study.
- I see. Er...

Would it help to talk about it?

The university has a very good counselling service.

Don't they mainly deal with sexually transmitted diseases?

And students whose selfies aren't getting enough likes.

I'd rather not say anything for the minute to anyone.

Not until I know exactly what I'm dealing with.

Well, er, take as much time as you need,

but keep me abreast of developments.

So, what do you think?

She takes a good photo, Ellie.

Sorry. That's not what you want to hear.

She won't listen to me. I thought about confiscating her laptop,

- but then she'd still have a phone.
- Well, take that, too.

But then I've got no way of getting hold of her, have I?

Oh, God.

It's not easy being a single parent, is it?

- You can't do good cop, bad cop.
- But I do bad cop pretty well.

Hm.

Jeez, Karen, it's tricky. I don't know what to suggest.

No, Jen didn't either.

So, come on, then. How's your therapy going?

Ah!

Ah-ha, it's brilliant.

I'm a changed man.

Unrecognisable.

Hey...

Maybe this will, erm, sort itself out.

God, I hope so.

Yeah.

OK, when the water boils, that's when you add the pasta.

Why do I need to know this? I'm 14.

I should be watching YouTube.

Cos you need to learn some independence.

You can't rely on me always being there to do it for you.

Why? Have you got other plans, love?

Iron the sleeves first, OK?

- I'm home.
- Collar and sleeves.

Dad! Save us!

Mum's trying to teach us life skills.

Are you all right, son?

Adam, please, hello. You're meant to be watching this.

- You might be in digs next year.
- I'll just eat Pot Noodles.

That got me through uni.

Yeah, One-Pot Pete.

- Oh, shit.
- What?

It's an e-mail from the festival.

- Well, go on, open it!
- I can't.

Oh, give it here.

Well?

You got in!

Aw...!

Oh, brilliant!

What's Teed Off?

- Huh?
- You spent, erm, £48 there.

They sell golfing equipment.

- Are you checking up on me?
- No, I'm just checking for fraud.

- Balls.
- Don't you do that?

Hm? No, I meant golf balls.

- That's what I bought. -
- Oh. They're expensive, aren't they?

- Don't lose them.
- Lose my balls...

I already have.

- Nikki?
- Yeah?

I hate to say this, but...

Urgh, your struggling with not being the bread-winner.

I'm sorry. Sorry, go on.

I know you don't like me getting cash out with your credit card,

but...I'm running a bit low.

Just take some out of my purse.

You won't spend it all on sweets, will you, David?

No, I won't. Thank you, Nikki.

Oh, God...

A big break for the lad, eh, this festival?

No, thanks to you they got in.

Our Adam said you missed the audition.

Lucky Ian could take them.

- Ian?
- My tutor. You know that.

Where were you anyway?

Oh, you weren't with that Evan?

Pete, for goodness' sakes.

Well, they got in, didn't they?

It feels like you spend more time with him

- than you do with us at the minute.
- He needs me, Jen.

- What about his family?
- He hasn't got one.

Yeah, well, you do.

And they're going to need you more than ever, Pete.

Why?

I don't know. Kids, they're at that stage, aren't they?

Look...

I know you mean well, Pete, but you're not doing Evan any favours.

The more he uses you as a crutch,

the more he'll come to depend on you.

That's not fair on anyone.

Hm?

Hello, Rex. You're a first-time caller, I believe?

Uh, yes. A virgin, you might say.

Well, welcome to my world.

Do you want to turn your webcam on?

- I'm a little shy.
- Don't be.

We're all friends here.

That's better.

- Adam!
- Hi, Ellie.

Rex is my online name.

So, how does this thing work? Should I start?

Those photos on your home page are lovely.

- Adam, this is weird.
- Why?

- Because I know you.
- Oh, yeah, you're right.

So, isn't it weirder if you don't know the person?

Did my mum put you up to this?

No, she doesn't know. She might think it's a bit creepy.

It is!

Yeah. The whole thing is, Ellie, all of it.

Some sad-sack in Stoke can't get a date,

so he resorts to befriending hot chicks online.

- Adam.
- And don't pretend there isn't a sexual element to it.

I mean, not for you, but...

Ellie, what do you think the first thing these guys do

when they log off?

Exactly. You're better than that, Ellie.

You know, you're smart.

It's not an inappropriate thing for me to say, you're beautiful.

Don't sell yourself short.

Don't sell yourself at all.

OK.

Hey, I'll see you at your birthday, eh?

Oh...

What would you like as a present?

- I thought you said I could call you any time.
- Well, I did.

I just didn't think it'd be so often.

Oh, so, "I'll always be there for you, Evan"

actually means between six and eight on alternate Wednesdays.

Well, I take my daughter to dance on Wednesdays.

Look, you're doing really well. Your medication's kicking in.

You don't need me.

- Are you breaking up with me?
- It's not like that.

It feels like that.

Like when me dad walked out, the same rejection.

Look, Evan, please.

Well, there are other people out there

who can help you better than me.

Your doctor, old friends,

the Samaritans.

I can't do this.

I'm sorry, I've got to go.

Right, well, if I kill myself, it'll be on you!

♪ Night

♪ Goes slowly

♪ Night

♪ Night

♪ Goes slowly... ♪

Hey, that's sweet!

We didn't do such a bad job, did we?

Oh, this is great, Mum. Thank you.

Oh, these are from Matt and me.

Tickets for Lost Days.

- Oh, so we can come and see you!
- Fantastic.

- We all will.
- You're coming?

- Well, we all are.
- I'm not.

Oh, no, we've gotta be at the lad's first festival gig.

- We're glamping.
- Your dad doesn't do tents any more.

- Did he ever?
- Don't worry, we won't cramp your style.

No, it's just I'd planned to revise that weekend.

- What does your first legal drink taste like?
- Like all the others.

Oh, thanks for the necklace, by the way. I love it.

Thanks for letting us come to your party.

Oh, this? God, no, this is just pre's.

Mum's idea. We're meeting mates later.

Soon, I hope.

Oh, well.

Normal service resumed.

Aren't you driving?

Is that a question or an instruction?

No, it's just...

..if you are, perhaps you shouldn't have any more.

Or we can always get a cab. You could pick up the car tomorrow.

Hm.

Because, of course, I've got nothing better to do.

So, you and Ellie seem good.

Yeah, we are. Deliveries have stopped.

She is no longer rinsing men.

- Really?
- Yeah. So, she must listen to me after all.

- No, I don't think that's it.
- What?

You're welcome.

Are you all right?

Well, we're not sure because we don't know what our Adam's doing.

But we were thinking of going to Corsica, weren't we?

Yeah.

Hey, why don't we all get a place together?

Oh, yeah, I'm in. Yeah, that sounds fun.

- So long as it doesn't clash with Florida.
- Florida?

Yeah, I want to go and check out apartments as an investment.

Right. Oh, it's the first I've heard of it.

Apparently, we're going to Florida.

Oh, nice.

No, I was just saying...

Yeah, we all know what you're saying, Nikki.

What do you mean by that David?

Oh, it's Evan.

- Should I get it?
- He's not your responsibility.

I should get it.

Pete...

Ellie just told me what you did.

- Yeah, you asked me to help.
- Not like that!

- Hm?
- What gave you the right to do that?

You take me for granted! You don't treat me with respect!

- That's ridiculous!
- It's gas-lighting!

- Oh...
- Yeah, yeah, I listen to Woman's Hour.

- Exactly!
- He's a man. He's a grown man.

I know he's a grown man!

I'll have that.

- Hey...
- Stop it!

Give it here.

If it was such a good idea, why didn't you tell me?

You didn't tell me cos you knew you'd crossed the line.

I was being bad cop, remember? It worked, didn't it?

No, it didn't work.

- Pub?
- Yeah. Let's go.

Don't leave me...!

I'm sorry you feel that I belittle you. I don't mean to.

I know!

- It's my fault.
- I don't mind giving you money.

Well, I mind having to take it.

I'm sorry, but I hate this card!

Every time I use it, I just see your face mocking me.

Well, it was meant as a joke.

The joke's on me.

Oh, we can't carry on like this.

I don't know why we are.

We don't seem to have much in common, Nikki.

- Well, opposites attract.
- Yeah, I think the magnetism's long gone.

I think we should call it a day.

- Split up after one row this evening?
- No.

It's just that I've begun to despise myself.

And it's only a matter of time before you despise me, too.

When I'm 18, I'm going to have a stretch limo,

sparklers,

Quidditch and those little cocktails with the little umbrellas on them.

- Will me and your mum be invited?
- No.

What?!

Of course you will. I couldn't have my 18th without you, could I?

Go on. It's late.

Go up to bed.

Don't forget your teeth.

I best start saving to pay for it all.

- You've got three years.
- Yeah, well, you've got big plans.

- What about a bouncy castle?
- I'll be 18!

Subtitles by F.F.