Chuck (2007–2012): Season 4, Episode 2 - Chuck Versus the Suitcase - full transcript

I'm Chuck. Here are a few things
that you might need to know.

We spared no expense
recreating the Buy More.

It's now a full-fledged
CIA-NSA substation.

I'm pregnant.

Oh, my God, oh, my God.

Alex, I'm your father.

If Volkoff has any intel on my
mom, we need to try and find it.

Someone is looking for you.

- Who?
- Your family.

- Have you told Volkoff anything?
- Told him nothing.

That's good.



MILAN

Okay, we're a man down, so you three really need
to step it up while Ellie's out of commission.

Devon, I'm 13 weeks pregnant.

Exactly-we've already lost 13 weeks,

and there are a lot of
decisions that need to be made:

Natural or water
birth, Ergo or BabyBj rn?

Spanish or French as a second language,

or are we gonna blow it
wide open and go Japanese?

Devon, the baby's not due
for another six months.

You still have a little lead time.

Exactly, thank you, and besides,

tomorrow is Chuck's first
day back at Buy More.

- and, and Morgan's.
- Thank you.

A little acknowledgement
goes a long way.



You know, Ellie, it's not that big a deal.

Morgan and I, after all, have
worked for the Buy More before.

Well, it's still exciting, and it's safe.

- It's safe and exciting.
- You tired, babe, huh?

I know you haven't been sleeping
well. Is the baby resting on your spleen?

Okay, Devon, seriously, you have to relax.

The baby is like the size of a walnut.

Watch your tone.

Eardrums develop in week 12.

Our little walnut can
hear everything you say.

- What is happening?
- I have no idea.

You guys should be taking
some notes over here.

You could be next.

Well, I don't know, Sarah would have to
unpack first for them to even think about

starting a family.

Snow pea?

Do you think it's weird
I haven't unpacked yet?

What? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, of course not.

I mean, you know, it's
only been eight months.

Right, and, uh, and I've been on missions practically
the entire time and I have to go away again soon.

Totally, I get it, you know that I get it.

Look, don't listen to Morgan.

He doesn't know what he's talking about.

The guy eats cereal with a fork.

So you're okay with it?

You're here.

That's all that matters to me. Okay?

It's not weird at all.

- It's totally weird, right?
- Of course it is.

I mean, she won't put one thing in
her side of the closet, not a thing.

It's like she'd rather be on a
mission than, than back home with me.

Well, it's just when everything seems
great and everything seems perfect,

- that's usually when you find it, man.
- Find, find, find what?

The Achilles' heel.

Chuck, every relationship has one the singular problem
that cannot be overcome even in the greatest romances

Romeo and Juliet, Tristan
and Isolde, Anakin and Padm.

Are you saying then that Sarah not
unpacking is our Achilles' heel?

Take my advice, buddy: keep
your feelings to yourself, okay?

You don't want to give her
any more reason to bolt.

Chuck Bartowski, please report
to the manager's office.

- Duty calls. Thanks for the talk, buddy.
- Of course.

Roger that. Gentlemen, you're dismissed.

How you guys doing?

So, I'm Agent Grimes.

You're Special Ops.

I know you guys are
all undercover spies,

but I'm pretty familiar with
the old girl-Buy More, you know.

If you have any
questions, feel free to ask.

- Take a little coffee break, we'll
just kind of go? - We're working.

We don't take breaks.

You're a very tiny man, aren't you?

Have you looked in a mirror lately?

You're, just quite impressive, to
be honest with you.

I mean, it's really just
the physical specimen.

I used to be like that, but, You're
just gonna one-arm that thing?

Okay, that's. I used to do that
myself, but I just forgot my weight belt.

One of our agents was killed in Milan
last night while he was tracking this woman

Sofia Stepanova.

Who do we have taking
our surveillance pics?

Because those are tremendous.

Can you see the way??

What? No, no, no, no.

I'm just saying, clearly?
Is she in a bathing suit?

I didn't even notice
that the first time.

We can all acknowledge that
Ms. Stepanova is quite fetching.

But don't be fooled by her appearance.

We believe she's the executor of
Volkoff's most important weapons deals.

She uses her cover as a runway
model to travel the world,

get access to the most powerful
people, and deliver weapons like this.

Stepanova stole an ammunition clip containing smart bullets
from a weapons development facility outside Paris.

- Mr. Bartowski.
- What are smart bullets?

Microchip controlled.

They have a built-in GPS.

The bullet guides itself to the target.

Something a good spy would never need.

Maybe you should get some.

Actually, that's exactly
what I need you to do.

Stepanova plans to sell the weapons
at a party during Milan Fashion Week.

I'm sending you two to intercept them.

Colonel Casey? After the
Yves St. Laurent incident,

you will obviously have
to sit this one out.

Stab one guy with a stiletto?

Bartowski, Walker, you'll
need to leave immediately.

Packed and ready to go, General.

Now, there's a woman in love.

No one loves a mission more than Walker.

You need to be on your guard out there.

Volkoff and his people they're serious.

Yeah, yeah, I, uh, I got it, but the
closer I get to finding Volkoff,

the closer I get to finding my mom.

Well, I won't be there
to rescue your ass.

I'll be stuck here.

Stuck here. Come on, Casey, you
know you like Burbank a little.

Okay, granted, we'd all rather be on the Amalfi
Coast or Bora-Bora or something like that,

but don't you feel a
little bit at home here?

Yeah, I guess, about as much as
Darfur or that cave in Afghanistan.

Okay, but then, supposing there was
someone could there be someone,

a person who makes you feel even
a little more at home, like Alex?

I mean, you see her a lot, right?

- No.
- No? She's your daughter.

Spies don't put down roots.

That's the rule.

Rule. It's not a rule.

It's a, it's a notion or
a suggestion or guideline.

It's about that Achilles'
heel thing, isn't it?

- Achilles-how do you
know?- Grimes told me.

That pipsqueak will talk to
anyone he thinks is listening.

Chuck, beautiful women
have a lot of baggage.

You should be happy
Walker's is just a suitcase.

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Chuck
Season 04 Episode 02

MILAN

Any sign of Sofia?

No, not yet. Strapless
Versace? Very daring, Agent Walker.

How much Project Runway
have you been watching?

There she is.

It's got to be in the purse.

The smart bullets?

All right, I got this one.

Excuse me.

Who do you think you are?

Nobody, I'm nobody, this is nothing.

No, I wasn't ting to do that
put my hand on your bottom.

Your hand is still
touching my perfection.

So it is.

So sorry about that. That was an accident

a happy accident, kind
of, I guess, not really,

but I'm not a weirdo pervert by
any stretch of the imagination.

- Then what are you doing here?
- I'm, I'm here with,?

I see.

No harm done.

- Did you get it?
- Not exactly, no.

Had a little awkward
moment there, actually.

- What happened? - I went for the purse and
then she turned and then my hand was very

I mean, very lightly on her kind of you
know, really it's not that important.

She's still at the bar. ***.

He's taking her purse.

What, who is?

The bartender.

She's already made the drop.

Hand it over.

Please don't hurt me.

A woman left her purse at the bar...

I just want to return it.

Okay.

Sarah.

She knew we were coming.

Let's go.

Okay, remain calm remain
caremai? Should I throw it?

Why did it click? Clicks are bad.

Okay, it must have a pressure sensor.

If you let go, it'll explode.

Oh, go quick, quick, quick, quick, quick. Do
what you do.

Sarah, listen, I cannot die without you knowing
that I accept you for who you are, okay?

Your weird unpacking
habit-it doesn't matter to me.

Nothing matters. I still love you.

You still love me?

Sorry, what, what?

Did I? Those weren't the
best last words, were they?

Top three things you
can do with a Roomba.

Number three. Go.

Okay, this new Buy
More has changed a lot,

- and I don't think it's for the better.
- Shut up, Grimes.

Dude, what is up with the Buy More?

Everyone is, like, scary efficient.

- Hadn't noticed.
- Hadn't noticed, either.

Bull's-eye.

25 feet. I can do better.

Okay, tell me not
everyone in here is a spy.

Chuck promised Ell he's not
working for the CIA anymore.

I'm worried about her
she's not sleeping as it is.

- If she even thought that Chuck was still a spy?
- Bartowski's out.

Buy More's still my cover, though.

Sadly, that hasn't changed.

No.

- Something about this place still seems a lile?
- Off.

30 feet. That's more like it.

Where is Chuck?

You know, we make a great team, you
and I. You are such a day-saver.

I am super proud of you. I really am.

Proud of us, really, you know, and
how well we work together.

- Any sign of Sofia?
- No, no. Are you mad at me?

If the weapon wa't iner purse, then she
certainly didn't have it with her at the party,

because that dress didn't conceal much.

I wasn't? I wasn't looking.

Hey, I wasn't looking, first of all, and second
of all, it's a very stressful situation,

watching one's life flash
before one's eyes like that.

And at the end of the day, and you
have to admit this, I disay, I love you.

That's what should matter, right? We
can both agree on that.

Chuck, if we hadn't stopped that bomb,

your last words to me would have
been about my weird unpacking thing.

You're right, and I'm sorry.

I should never have done that. And the
crazy thing is, I don't even care. I don't.

Spies pack light; I get it.

Yes, we do pack light, because we have
to be prepared for the next mission.

And right now, we really need
to focus on this mission.

Let's go, Chuck.

- Can I help you, Mr. Grimes?
- Yes.

Actually, I'd like to talk to you about how
well things are going here at the Buy More.

- Things do seem to be running quite smoothly.
- Exactly.

Yeah, uh, that seems to
be the problem to me.

It's too right that it's? It's wrong.

And tell me, Mr. Grimes,

- what do you know about running a CIA base?
- Nothing.

But I do kn how to run a Buy More.

And with all due respect, General, this
is? No longer a Buy More.

- You have five minutes.
- I'll only need two. Walk with me.

You see, one of the defining characteristics of
the old Buy More was its inattention to detail.

For example? Take this generic
yet? Tasty chocolate drink, right?

Now, a year ago, this would have sat,

for about a week until Jeff came
along and lapped it up off the floor.

Here, this one's fresher.

Enjoy.

My people were trained to
be observant and efficient.

It's the CIA way.

Ah, but it's not the
Buy More way, you see?

Now, if customers don't have hazardous spills,
mislabeled product, surly employees to distract them,

well, they may start to
enjoy their time here.

Let's continue.

I don't want to be an
astronaut anymore, Mommy.

I want to work at the Buy More.

First you got to stay
in school, little man.

No one should ever, ever
want to work here.

See, you have to look
at the big picture here.

A pleased customer's gonna want
to stay in the store longer,

he's gonna want to bring his
friends, maybe, bring his family,

tying up valuable CIA resources, not to mention?
Encouraging them to look a little deeper.

And what happens, General?

What happens when they
do look a little deeper?

Maybe, maybe just one customer
discovers what's really going on here.

General, look? If even I can
see through this Buy More cover,

what's an enemy spy gonna think?

What do you propose?

You look really pretty right now.

I'm just saying, with all the blood rushing to
your head, it brings out the color in your cheeks.

Spiderman kiss?

No.

Okay. Maybe later.

If I could just? There we go.

I see Sofia stays in
the Presidential Suite.

And they say crime doesn't pay.

What?

It's nothing. Nothing.

No, please, say it, Chuck.

It's just, it's not a spy thing, per se.

- What's not a spy thing?
- Unpacking. Not a not a spy thing.

I mean, not every spy has issue with
it, like some spies? Do, you know, clearly,

because Sofia felt comfortable enough to
settle herself in, and it's only a hotel room.

Just thinking out loud.

Thank you for that.

There's a safe in the corner here.

Nice. Good eye.

Everything looks secure here, ma'am.

Miss Sofia, could we
have a moment to talk?

Just stand guard.

That's what you're here for.

What do we do now?

We can't leave without the weapon.

Can you see anything?

- Are you serious?
- Am I serious?

What? Who do you think I am?

If we can't see anything, then she
can't see anything, either, right?

Right. Okay, well, I'll get the
card, and you get the safe.

Break.

Miss Sofia?

Don't turn around.

I have something I need to
tell you. Miss Sofia, I love you.

Don't move.

Look at me.

Okay, you should know
that I have a girlfriend.

For so many years I've been your muscle.

But, you know, the strongest
muscle in my body is my heart.

And now it belongs to you.

Sorry.

Who do you work for, and
how did you find me?

I would love to get into this.

Is it? Is it at all possible for you
to cover yourself with maybe a towel?

Is she naked?

Who?

Yes. Yes, she is.

Chuck, run!

Did you get the weapon?

You bet I did.

Stop!

Put some clothes on.

Right. Understood. I will
put a team on it tomorrow.

Yes, and thank you for
shopping at the Buy More.

- So, everything going well upstairs?
- Too well.

Unfortunately, I can't say
the same for things down here.

Your work in Milan was excellent,

but we've analyzed the
chips you brought back.

They're not functional.

- What do you mean, they're not functional?
- They're fakes.

Sofia was one step ahead of us.

She must have hidden the
real chips somewhere else.

Interpol and FSB are
looking for her now, so

all we can do is sit tight until
she pops back up on the radar.

General, sorry to disturb you,

but there's a man from the Better Business Bureau here
to bestow the Buy More with an award for excellence.

He needs the manager
to formally accept it.

I'll be right there.

We need new blood upstairs.

Hopefully, your? Woolly
friend, Mr. Grimes, will come through.

Will, um? Come? What? Come
through with what?

Let's just say? He's recruiting.

Day 184.

Still running from the po-po.

Sweet Buy More, why and
how did we ever burn you?

It's been, dark days.

We've been taking gigs at the Whisper
Lounge in exchange for scraps of tapas, which.

And we live here now in the wild?
With my van? Where no one can find us.

It's not all bad.

I've been? Expanding my
understanding of the universal mind.

Jeff has a new pet rock named Bruce.

I asked him why Bruce, and he said
when he hits it it doesn't bruce.

Why do you even bother
with these idiots?

They may be idiots, but
they're my idiots.

The Buy More's been my home for eight
years, so without Jeff and Lester,

I think it would just feel like
another electronics store, you know.

- Do you ever miss Ace of Base?
- Always.

Jeffrey, we've been made!

Get the suicide pills.

We are going down
like Thelma and Louise,

just like we practiced-Thelma
and/or Louise.

- They're everywhere!
- Wait, wait, wait, wait. I got this. I got this.

We are not the boys you are looking for.

These are not the boys
that we're looking?

Cut it out.

Listen to me. We just came here
to give you your jobs back.

- What job?
- Your old jobs.

Guys, the Buy More's been rebuilt, and nobody
thinks that you burned it down. It's okay.

What are you talking about?

Cars have been following us for months.

How do you know they weren't
just driving behind you?

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

You came all this way just
to offer us our jobs back?

- You're seven minutes from Burbank with traffic.
- No, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no.

I see what's happening
here, Jeffrey. For some unknown reason,

they need us.

- We have leverage.
- It's time to negotiate. All right.

If we take our jobs back?

We want a raise and perks.

The company car and three
kilos??gluten-free biscotti.

I think my water just broke.

This is truly one of the most
degrading things I've ever done.

Look, I know you'd rather be on
a mission with Chuck and Sarah,

but your whole life
doesn't have to be missions.

I was talking to Alex the other day, and she
said she hadn't heard from you in a while.

Why are you talking to my daughter?

More importantly, why
aren't you talking to her?

Well, she has her mom, friends, whole
life. I just don't fit in.

You're not gonna if you don't try.

Devon. Need some help?

No. No, no, no, I'm good.

Just shopping, but I was in the Buy More.

Everyone there was
super-attractive and highly skilled.

It was like I work there.

But why would I work in the Buy More?

Unless I was a spy.

Devon, you know that Casey
and I are still spies,

and the Buy More is still a cover, but
Chuck has nothing to do with it.

Exactly. I'm out, bro.

I know. I know, man. I'm
sorry I questioned you.

And I know I've been going a little overboard
lately, but it's just really important for Ellie,

you know, to know that everyone who
is here is really here for her now.

Okay, that everything's normal.

Yeah, tot? Totally normal.

Normal, as the Spanish would say.

- Not irregular.
- Thank you. All right.

- let me help.
- No, babe, I got it.

You don't lift a finger.

- What is all this?
- Just a few sleep machines.

You know, rain forest sounds, white
noise, dolphin chatter, the yoozh.

That's very sweet of you, honey, but
you've already done so much already.

I mean, look at the
apartment. You have two bassinets,

we have a kitchen full
of baby vegan food.

Sweetheart, we are not vegan.

But we could be.

I just want to know what's
really going on here.

We both know that you're not
good at letting people help you.

Oh, you've practically raised
Chuck on your own since your mom?

- So this is about my mom?
- No! What? No.

Devon, you are the
worst liar in the world.

Just tell me. Is this about my mom?

Yes.

I just don't want you to feel
like anyone or anything is missing.

Well, I don't want you
to be worried about me.

I don't feel like anything is missing.

I didn't need my mom when I was a
teenager, I didn't need her in med school,

and I don't need her now, okay?

You and Chuck are the
only family that I need.

Okay.

So let's make a deal.

I will let you help me, but you
have to let me pitch in, too.

We're better as a team.

Don't do that.

What?

Don't unpack, please.

If you do it now, it's only gonna
be because we were talking about it,

and I don't want you to
do it because of that.

I want you to do it when you feel
comfortable here, when you feel at home.

I do feel comfortable here.

It just? It doesn't come
naturally to me, putting roots down.

I know.

You were always on
the run with your dad,

and being a spy doesn't make
it easy to make a home anywhere.

I understand.

It's just what you're used to.

But I love you because we're different.

And one dress is not
going to make or break us.

One dress.

What?

Sofia unpacked everything except
for that one sequined dress.

Right, she put it in a suitcase.

Haven't we seen that dress before?

On the security cam footage.

Why would a model wear the same dress
twice when she has a closet full of options?

Because maybe it's not just a dress.

Beckman said the technology was
in the microchip, not the bullet.

What if the chips??

Are hidden in the dress.
The sequins?

And when Fashion Week ends, she's
gonna slip the dress through customs.

Through one of the collections. That
means she's still in Milan.

Closing night is tomorrow night.

We need to get back there right now.

Well, it's a good thing
we're already packed.

If Sofia is hiding the dress
in one of those collections,

it should be in one
of the backstage areas.

Yeah, I'm gonna guess it's that one.

Those look like our men.

- You think this plan will really work?
- Absolutely. Watch me.

Signore, signore. Buona sera.

It's a pleasure to meet you.

It's a pleasure. Pleasure.

My name is Charles Carmichael, and I know that's
got to be very confusing for you right now,

so let me explain.

I'm actually the guy that you're
looking for, and unfortunately for you,

I'm gonna need the dress
that's right behind that door.

And good night.

Well, that went better
than I thought it would.

What?

You don't have any faith
in my tranq gloves? Come on.

I'm pretty proud of them.

Okay, you take that side.

The rack, okay. And you go? Okay.

Excuse me.

Okay, we need to be quick, remember.

Going as fast as I can. There's
a lot of dresses here.

None of those.

- Bingo. Bingo. Check it out. Found it.
- Good

I just got to say this
this was a great idea.

I mean, as far as missions. Best ever.

- Zip?- Of course, yes. You hold, and I
zip bada-bing. Slip it back into this.

And Bob's your uncle.

- Bra. - Of course. Strapless dress.
What was I thinking? Okay.

- Let's go home.
- Shall we?

Try in here.

Okay, slight problem.

Here, go.

I love you, Sarah.

Chuck!

I think you got something of mine.

Drop it.

Five on one. Five on
one. Yeah, not the greatest odds.

I get it. I get it.

You messed things up with Miss Sofia.

No, I didn't mess up anything
with Miss Sofia, okay?

You really didn't stand a chance.

She's cold and distant
and-and? Here we go.

That's not? Could you hold
that just for a second?

That's what I'm looking for.

You slapped me.

Well?

Red is a good look for you.

It distracts from your face.

I assure you, General, my
cover is still intact.

I know.

The two of you acted
quickly and intelligently.

And because of your efforts,

we recovered the smart bullet guidance chips
and put one of Volkoff's key sellers behind bars.

It feels good to be back at work.

Feels good to be home.

I made you a protein
shake with baby boost, babe.

Thanks, honey.

I'm actually headed out, though.

My husband bought sleep
machines in excess the other day,

so I'm heading to the
Buy More to return them.

No!

I mean? It's totally my fault.

I should return them.

Honey, I think I can handle it.

We're a team, remember?

Right, absolutely.

Don't feel like you got to
spend a ton of time there.

- Hurry home.
- All right.

Devon.

Dude, the hen has left the nest.

- The hen? What?
- Ellie is en route to the Buy More.

- Okay. - Bro, I know we talked about
this, and I know you're not a spy.

But is Ellie going to believe
that when she sees the new Buy re?

Electronics, roll left.

Entertainment, right.

Okay.

- Welcome to the new Buy More. - Yeah, what's going on?
This place seems so strange.

You know what it could be? The,

the current corporate restructuring
that's going on right now.

Everybody's just kind of, you know?

Excuse me. Sorry.

The restructuring has
actually been restructured, so.

Although it may appear a bit off, I
can assure you that the Buy More is,

well, the Buy More.

Can one of you help me?

No.

We're on break.

Rumor has it you're pregnant.

- Is there room in that womb for two?
- Run along, Jeff.

Let me know.

Some things will never change.

Well, I'm still here to help.

Told you. Just like normal.

- Mr. Grimes.
- Diane.

General.

My superiors have been monitoring
the Buy More since it reopened.

And they believe your additions
have made for an airtight cover.

I think you have earned this.

Thank you so much.

Yeah.

- What have I earned, exactly?
- The keys to the Buy More.

I'm making you store manager, Mr. Grimes.

Wait. I'm sorry.

I think what you meant to say
was assistant store manager.

Don't make me regret this.

I'm manager?

I'm manager?

Congratulations, Grimes.

- Guys?
- What, Morgan? We're trying to relax here, man.

Drinks on me tonight!

- Thank you, buddy! Thank you!
- Well drinks. Well drinks.

And-And happy hour.

Same old Morgan.

Do you want to come get
a drink with us, big guy?

No, I have some mission
prep I have to take care of.

Casey? How's Burbank ever going to feel
likeome if you don't give it a chance?

Yeah. The Buy More may be
your home, but it's not mine.

Alex?

It's me.

Dad.

Good to hear your voice, too.

So I'm mixing it up a bit
tonight, and we're going sparkling.

It's official.

What's official?

- you didn't have to?
- I wanted to.

I've never had a real home, and
I wanted this to feel like one.

Let me help you.

What's this?

That's just something that I like
to keep in my suitcase at all times.

Whether I'm in Portugal, or Russia, or
Burbank, this, makes me feel comfortable, safe.

Look, I know that it's probably
taken me longer than a normal girl,

but you should know that
you're my home, Chuck.

You always have been.

What?

Nothing.

Nothing. Just some?

Some stupid thing that
Morgan said, that's all.

What did he say?

You can tell me.

He said that just when you think
your relationship is perfect,

then you find your Achilles' heel, the
thing that's going to destroy it.

- You thought ours was the suitcase?
- It's a stupid theory.

It's-It's nonsense. It's Morgan.

Who are we kidding?

We don't have an Achilles' heel.

We have a real future ahead of us.

Maybe Awesome's right.

You know, marriage, baby?

Who knows? Maybe we're next.

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Chuck
Season 04 Episode 02