Chuck (2007–2012): Season 3, Episode 9 - Chuck Versus the Beard - full transcript
Chuck is taken off active duty when he has problems trying to use the Intersect and is put in imminent danger without Sarah's and Casey's help.
CHUCK: Hey, I'm Chuck. Here's a couple
of things you need to know or forgot.
Hannah, there are things in my life
that you can't understand.
So I have to end this.
- We need to talk.
- Not a good time.
You suggesting Chuck is caught in a big,
giant web of conspiracy and deception?
I'm gonna have to lie.
Can't do that anymore.
From now on, if Ellie asks,
say, "I don't know."
You two got it bad for this blond.
[GRUNTING]
It's about keeping his emotions in check,
so the Intersect can work.
Flash, come on.
You and Casey were right, I don't work.
My emotions just mess everything up.
CHUCK:
Hey, guys, I got your call.
What's...?
- What's going on?
- You're the Intersect, you tell us.
The Ring is planning to turn
and use a CIA agent against us.
The problem is,
we don't know who, when or where.
SHAW:
The Intersect should have something.
SARAH:
Did you flash?
Yeah, not.... Not flashing.
You haven't in a week, ever since Rafe
tried to kill Sarah and me.
- That's a problem.
- Problem?
Really, problem?
Kind of a strong word.
- Because a guy had off nights?
- Off nights get agents killed.
Figure this out, Intersect's not working.
I can't risk you out in the field.
Okay, so, what exactly are you saying?
I'm saying until you start flashing again,
you're no longer a spy.
No, no, no, you can't....
You can't do that.
Being a spy is all that I have.
I gave up everything for this.
Maybe some time off will do you good,
help you function again.
I don't need time off. I'm not flashing
because I have emotions bottled up.
Ever thought that?
I just broke up with Hannah.
I can't talk to my best friend or sister
about anything. I'm not a machine.
Okay, I am a machine,
but I'm also a person.
Well, you can always talk to us.
Yeah, uh, no thanks.
I don't think that's gonna work for me.
Well, find something that does work.
Because until you do, you're benched.
[SIGHS]
ELLIE:
This getaway was a perfect idea.
- It's just what we needed.
DEVON: You said it.
I can't tell you how awesome it feels
to be alone, just the two of us.
[PHONE RINGING]
- Sorry.
- It's okay.
I'll be just a sec.
- Hey, Chuck.
- Awesome, thank God you picked up.
- Everything okay, Chuck?
- No, not really.
I broke up with Hannah.
Sarah's falling for another guy.
Not only is my personal life a mess.
- But my spy life...
DEVON: Chuck.
I went on vacation to get away
from your spy life, okay?
- And to fix things with Ellie.
- No, Devon, Devon.
- Devon, I don't have anyone to talk to.
- I'm sorry, bro.
Remember what you said
about discussing your spy life?
I don't know.
I say he can get it in there, but I agree
with you, it seems impossible.
So put your wagers in.
Put your wage....
You are going to win this.
What do you got in your pockets?
MORGAN [OVER INTERCOM]:
Charles Irving Bartowski, please report to...
...the assistant manager's office
for disciplinary action.
LESTER:
Right? Well?
Oh, my, this is a shocker, he got it in.
I'm saying, do not wager
against the Brown Beauty and the Snake.
He can unhinge his jaw
and he sheds skin.
Have a seat, please.
- Do you need anything? You okay?
CHUCK: No, I'm good.
I mean, maybe a little leg room
would be nice.
This conversation is never an easy one
to have with an employee, Chuck.
And what conversation
would that be, exactly?
We've known each other
most of our lives.
We went through puberty together,
the awkward stage after puberty...
...awkward high school years,
your awkward college years...
...and now, our current awkward
Buy More years.
Which is why this moment for me
is so very....
- Awkward?
- Yeah.
- What exactly is going on?
- Something is.
Something is going on in your life.
You dumped Hannah, she quit Buy More.
She was a valued member of the store.
And I feel that a true best friend would
share that with his true best friend.
- You really wanna know the truth?
MORGAN: I do.
Lay it on me like slice of cheese
on a tuna melt. I am ready.
Okay, here it goes.
- I...
- Okay, got it.
- You don't have to say any more.
- I didn't say anything.
- Do you need help?
MORGAN: Never mind.
I cannot believe I'm saying this,
but you're fired.
What? You're firing me
from the Buy More?
Buy More, are you kidding me?
You're the best Nerd Herder we have.
I need you here.
I'm firing you as my best friend.
CHUCK: Hey, you guys leaving on the
mission? Sure you don't want me to join?
Love to but the Intersect is not working.
The agent The Ring plans to turn
is staying at this hotel.
SHAW: There's no record of any spy being
there so whoever it is is deep undercover.
Yeah, I'm sorry, I'm still not flashing.
We've gotta go.
Look, the team's a man short
without me.
Not today, I'm taking your place.
The Ring knows you're alive, Shaw.
It's dangerous.
And I can't leave
this team shorthanded.
Besides, if The Ring wants a fight,
I'll give them a fight.
Now, when we get back, I expect
this place to be exactly as I left it.
- You two newlyweds ready?
SARAH: Yeah, let's go.
What's with the rings?
What...? Hey, Casey, what am I
supposed to do while you're gone?
Don't you have a day job?
- Hey, what's going on?
LESTER: Shh.
Charles, this is a spy mission.
You are not qualified.
All right.
[LAUGHING]
LESTER:
Forty-nine, 57, 43, 40.
El Segundo School of Finance,
we take care of business.
- What's going on, Big Mike?
- Someone's thinking of buying the store.
We're closing so inspectors
and technicians can come kick the tires.
- We get the day off, Jeffrey. Let's get...
- No.
They want to interview everyone,
reevaluate the entire staff.
Fire everyone who's not essential.
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
We're in big trouble, boys.
Here are your keys.
Enjoy your stay here
at the Malibu Vista Hotel.
Might I add that the two of you
are a beautiful couple.
Oh, thank you.
Well, you two lovebirds have fun
while I'm cooped up in the van again.
Have a margarita for me.
[DOOR CLOSES]
CASEY [OVER RADIO]: There's a Ring
agent somewhere in this hotel. Find him.
I tapped into the mainframe.
If The Ring calls, we can trace it
to the room it originated from.
Sarah and I set up the equipment.
We'll begin searching
for possible targets.
Listen up, team.
These suits are sharks.
They'll try to divide us in interviews,
find weaknesses...
...look for any excuse they can
to fire our asses.
Yeah, listen, despite our differences,
all we have is each other.
- So let's stick together here, all right?
- This is a blood oath right here.
One for all and all for one.
- Lester Patel?
- Yeah, I found it.
Found it, contact lens.
All crisis averted.
- I love you, guys.
CHUCK: Yeah.
Come on down.
[LAUGHING]
- Oh, my God.
MORGAN: Oh, my God, we're doomed.
[ALL LAUGHING]
NEIL:
Have a seat, yeah, have a seat.
Okay, stop.
Before I spill secrets,
I wanna know I'm protected.
I want diplomatic immunity.
Well, I don't think it's appropriate
in this situation.
Bup, bup, bup.
You want the dirt? I want immunity.
Okay, immunity granted.
Okay, thank you, my brother.
Well, it's an interesting group
of employees you've put together here.
Oh, they scare me too. Ha-ha-ha.
But I got Bartowski, don't I?
That's right.
A man with a Stanford degree
is working here?
You see, gentlemen, I'm not just
a manager, I'm a people person.
Talent follows me. Ha, ha.
Morgan Grimes, assistant manager.
Morgan, buddy, I need to talk to you.
- You don't or I wouldn't have fired you.
- Can I please have a minute?
Not now,
I'm freaking about this interview.
Look, hey, buddy,
you're gonna be fine.
Besides, you can always get
another job.
- It's not the end of the world.
- Really?
You see, it may not be the end to you
but I don't have a Stanford degree.
I can't do anything else but Buy More.
This job is all I have.
NEIL:
Chuck Bartowski?
You're up.
It's an impressive r?sum?.
So, what's a Stanford grad doing
working at a Buy More?
Let's just say the Buy More offers
more opportunities than meets the eye.
Really? For instance?
For instance, I get to work
with my best friend every day.
- Your best friend?
- Yeah.
Yeah, Morgan Grimes,
the assistant manager.
Based on your track record,
you're the cream of this Buy More crop.
Why aren't you the assistant manager?
Because the right guy
has already got the job.
I know that you guys are maybe
gonna be making changes around here.
So I just want you to know
that while I might look good on paper...
...I'm not the cream of the crop.
Morgan Grimes is.
[LINE RINGING]
Okay, The Ring just made a call
from the hotel.
I'll connect you in while I trace it back.
MAN [ON PHONE]:
The target is by the pool.
Six-foot-two, well built. He's wearing
a blue and white bathing suit.
- Got that, Walker?
- Yeah, got it.
CASEY [OVER RADIO]:
Did you find the target?
Yeah, we found him.
- Cheers.
- Oh, so nice. Ha, ha.
DEL: Nice to meet you.
- Yeah, you too.
NEIL: Yeah, good egg.
- Yeah, really good egg.
- Really good egg.
- Have a good day.
- Yeah, you too.
- Take care.
[BEEPING]
Get the others in here.
So you really think this Bartowski guy
is Agent Carmichael?
Oh, it's Carmichael, all right. Looks like
Shaw left him behind to man the fort.
Should we abort the mission?
With Shaw not here it's our best chance
to infiltrate and recover everything.
Found the entrance
into Shaw's base yet?
- No.
- We don't have time. We have to find it.
- Do you want us to take out Bartowski?
- Not yet.
Keep interviewing employees.
Make sure Shaw didn't leave
any other surprises behind.
Chuck said Grimes is his best friend.
We can use them to our advantage.
What about the others?
We need to be conservative here.
Terminate the rest.
DEVON: Getting away was the best thing
we could've done.
I know I haven't been
the same guy lately...
...but since we got here,
I gotta tell you, I feel awesome again.
Me too. To us.
No stress. No work. No problemos.
Call came from Room 4305.
I'll head there now and search it.
We'll go to the pool,
get Devon and Ellie out of harm's way.
CHUCK:
Come on, flash. Okay....
[HUMMING]
[BILLY IDOL'S "DANCING BY MYSELF"
PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]
Oh, I know this, I know this.
Uh, the Condor, The Jackal.
Chan Min Chee.
Damn it, thought I had that one.
[SIGHS]
[PHONE RINGING]
[SIGHS]
- This better be good.
- Hey, just checking in on the mission.
- If you needed anything.
- You flashing?
I'm not, but I thought if you throw me
the rock, I'll pop on something.
- I don't have time for this.
- Only as good your last flash, huh?
[GRUNTS]
- Mm. Two more pi?a coladas coming up.
- Okay.
How's the water?
What are you doing here?
You are not supposed to be here.
I just reclaimed my awesomeness.
We got a tip The Ring was to turn
an agent staying at this hotel.
- You.
- Me?
I'm not an agent.
Chuck told me I was in the clear.
Are Ellie and I in danger?
I don't know.
MORGAN:
Can't believe they're selling Buy More.
I think they're serious
about buying this place.
They have been going through it
with a comb, even checking lockers.
NEIL:
It was really great talking to you.
Jeffrey Barnes?
You gotta help me, Morgan.
I've got contraband in my locker.
What kind?
Just something I use to take
the edge off on a stressful day.
- If they find it, I'll be fired for sure.
- Mr. Barnes?
Morgan, please.
Okay, okay, all right, dude.
CASEY:
I'm at The Ring agent's room.
I'm going in.
SARAH [OVER RADIO]: Be careful.
CASEY: I'm always careful.
[BEEPING]
MAN [ON RECORDING]:
The target is by the pool.
Six-foot-two, well built. He's wearing
a blue and white bathing suit.
Our operatives....
The target is about 6'2", well built.
He's wearing a blue
and white bathing suit.
- Our operatives are in position.
CASEY: It's a setup.
I gotta get Ellie out of here.
I gotta get us out now.
Keep it together, Devon.
We'll figure this out.
[PHONE RINGING]
DEVON:
What? What was that?
I'm so sorry. False alarm.
DEVON: You crash my getaway
to tell me I'm in danger.
- Now you tell me we're safe?
- Yes, I'm sorry.
Please try and enjoy
the rest of your vacation.
DEVON:
We got to get away from this.
Oh, my God.
What's this?
INSPECTOR: Let's see if we can
find anything in the break room.
[MACHINE WHIRRING]
[MACHINE BEEPS]
Found something.
There's a tunnel behind these lockers.
Fingerprint scanner.
This must be it. Get Del and Neil.
Tell them we found the CIA base.
[DEVICE BEEPING]
Good work.
Tell the others we found Shaw's base.
[GRUNTS]
[MOUTHING] Oh, my God.
[MORGAN MEOWS]
LESTER: This is not right, not right.
You understand what I'm saying?
Hey, what's going on?
My spy work paid off, obviously.
I miked Big Mike's office. All I got was
a few seconds but here, listen.
DEL [ON RECORDING]:
Chuck said Grimes is his best friend.
We can use them to our advantage.
NEIL: What about the others?
DEL: I think we need to be conservative here.
Terminate the rest.
They're gonna fire the entire store
except you and Morgan.
I just got this job back.
Where is Morgan?
DEL: Clever putting a CIA base
under an electronics store.
NEIL: Every piece of intelligence Shaw
has on The Ring is in here.
We'll put a dagger through the heart
of the CIA?s operation by taking it out.
DEL:
Neil, you're on.
Cut off all communications
coming in and out.
Break into the mainframe, find
and destroy everything they have on us.
Then blow this base sky high.
Be a pleasure.
CASEY:
The phone works remotely.
- It was a setup. They lured us here.
SARAH: Why would they lure us here?
It's not where they lured us to,
it's where they lured us from.
The Ring knows I'm alive. Means they
know I'll have a base somewhere.
They sent us so I'd abandon my base.
That way they can recover
all the intelligence we have.
They weren't after Devon.
- They're after Castle.
- Chuck's there. He's not flashing.
- He's a sitting duck.
- Go.
- We need to talk.
MORGAN: We got to talk, me first.
Whatever you're gonna say is nothing
compared to what I got.
- Okay, fine, yeah, please, shoot.
- Okay, dude.
There's a secret underground CIA base
under our Buy More.
I know, I'd....
Hey, I know it sounds crazy
but you have to believe me.
These people claiming to buy,
they're bad guys, okay?
And they call themselves The Ring.
Which is like, ooh, not that scary but
these guys are not to be messed with.
- How do you know all this, Morgan?
- Okay, I was hiding in there.
I saw them enter through an entrance
behind our lockers so I followed them.
And I heard and saw everything.
Hey, dude, this is a lot to handle,
but you got to stay with me.
You gotta pull it together because
we are now in real danger here, okay?
Buddy, don't freak out.
Heh.
- Chuck's not answering his cell.
- The Buy More landline's down.
[CASEY GRUNTS]
I think we should call the police.
That's a great idea.
That is a great idea, Morgan. Wow.
Wow. Yeah. Why?
What?
Wait, wait a minute, wait a minute.
I don't have a signal.
Right, bad guys cut off communication
to the store. Makes sense.
You know, by the time the cops
got here, it would be too late.
- We need to handle this now.
- No, Morgan.
We don't do anything
except get everyone out.
MORGAN:
Charles, listen to yourself.
These men are trying to blow up
a base under our store.
We are Buy More's...
America's last line of defense.
- We are going to take the fight to them.
- Morgan, listen to yourself.
This is not a video game, this is real life.
People get hurt, there is no restart.
I understand you're scared.
And that not everybody
has the stomach to be a hero.
I'll see if Jeff and Lester
wanna help and....
CHUCK:
Okay, look, fine, fine, fine.
I will help on one condition.
We get everyone else
out of the store first.
And what you've told me remains
a secret between the two of us.
Yes, you know what?
No need to put everyone at risk.
We will handle this, okay?
And this secret is locked down.
You would rather bring....
CHUCK: What's going on?
- We're locking down the store, Charles.
Refusing to leave
until they give our jobs back.
No, guys, that is a very...
Please, don't do that.
Don't put that there.
Stop putting things down.
Look, locking down the store
is a very bad idea.
You two wanna turn tail and run?
Fine.
I'm staying here
and fighting for my job.
Mike, gentlemen, assorted ladies.
Taking over Buy More is not only illegal,
but it's dangerous, trust me.
The only thing dangerous
is if they try to fire us.
They'll have to do it
over dead bodies.
These fat cats think they can take
whatever they want.
They can take our dignity.
They can take all the hot women,
but they will not take our jobs.
And they will never take our store.
[ALL CHEERING]
[SHUTTER CLICKS]
[JEFF SCREAMS]
- Sarah, Shaw, Casey, can you hear me?
SARAH [OVER RADIO]: You have....
[LATIN MUSIC PLAYS ON RADIO]
- Can you hear me?
SARAH: I can hear you, what's going on?
Oh, thank God, thank God.
Listen, listen, listen.
The Ring is inside Castle, guys.
Came in as buyers to purchase the store.
CASEY:
We're on our way back. Sit tight.
This is for you.
Mace. Not much, but it will do.
Emmett kept a stockpile
in case the Russians attacked.
This is for you, a walkie-talkie.
Don't drop it.
You ready? Let's do this.
No, no, no. Listen, listen, listen.
On second thought,
I don't think we should do this.
No, you're right.
Maybe get a burger or something.
Are you kidding me? Men are trying
to blow a base here, okay?
- Time is running out, time to step up.
- No, no, Morgan.
You don't want to do this, okay?
Trust me, you don't understand.
You don't understand.
I've been a loser my whole life.
I'm done with that.
It's time for me to be a hero.
But what is a hero, really?
You know?
DEL:
You're all alone, Agent Carmichael.
I've locked down the base.
Sir, who's Agent Carmichael, okay?
You're crazy.
Guy's crazy. He thinks you're a spy.
- Yeah, ridiculous, thinking I'm a spy.
- Ridiculous, sir.
Okay, listen to me.
We work at the Buy More.
And if you let us go, we're not gonna
tell anyone what you're doing. Tell them.
[WHISPERING]
I'll get you out of this.
Yeah, not a word, zipping it,
locking it down.
[IN NORMAL VOICE]
Locked. It's already locked down.
That is a sharp-looking razor.
We've searched the base's mainframe.
Shaw's files aren't there.
We know that he's hiding them here.
Tell us where they are,
Agent Carmichael.
Trust me, the alternative
is extremely unpleasant.
You know, I don't think
there's any need for torture.
Because even if I was a spy,
which I'm not.
But if I was a spy, my training would
have taught me to withstand torture.
So I don't really think it's gonna have
any effect at this juncture, right?
That's why I'm gonna torture him.
You made the mistake of telling us
the bearded fella is your best friend.
For the last time, where are the files,
Agent Carmichael?
Guys, guys, please.
Please, just listen to me.
This is ridiculous, okay?
I have known this man my entire life,
all right?
Chuck Bartowski has been
my best friend, my brother...
...since we were 6.
Chuck Bartowski is not a spy.
- Chuck, Chuck, Chuck.
- Chuck, please, tell him something.
DEL: Chuck.
- Tell him the truth, I'm scared.
Wait, wait, wait. Stop, stop, stop.
Stop.
Morgan, the truth is....
The truth is I am a member...
...of a joint NSA-CIA
black ops team...
...that is stationed here in Burbank.
I have a level six clearance...
...and my code name
is Charles Carmichael.
I'm a spy, buddy.
SHAW:
Sarah, anything?
We're locked out.
They overrode our security access.
SHAW: I'm locked out here.
Casey's checking Buy More.
Cease fire, cease fire.
Hold your fire, hold your fire.
Unlock the doors.
What is going on here?
Store's being bought, canning
everybody except Bartowski and Grimes.
We're staging a revolution
to take down the man.
- I want in.
- How do we know we can trust you?
That you're not some spy
for the man?
Because the thing I hate more than
hippie, neo-liberal fascists, anarchists...
...are the hypocrite fat-cat suits
they eventually grow up to become.
Yup, that works for me, good point.
Nice to chat.
Welcome aboard, my brother.
You're a spy?
Remember what I said
about freaking out? You're doing that.
- And you shouldn't do that.
- You're a spy?
- Stay with me, buddy, okay?
- You can kiss and make up later.
Where are Shaw's files? Now, Chuck.
We've got visitors. Colonel Casey and
Agent Walker decided to join the party.
- Casey and Sarah are spies too?
DEL: You got catching up to do.
Excuse me
while I take care of your friends.
We'll save the torture for later.
No, no, no, I can't....
I can't believe it.
All this time, you kept this a secret?
- From me?
- I'm so sorry, Morgan.
You have no idea how badly
I've wanted to tell you.
All this lying about where I've been....
You know,
making plans and breaking them.
And all the time, all I've wanted
to do was tell you all about it.
But I had to protect you too, you know?
Please understand that.
[SIGHS]
Wow.
Wow!
I don't....
My best friend is a spy?
This is unbelievable!
Best news I've ever heard!
Holy smokes,
it makes perfect sense too.
Why we stopped hanging out
and talking.
I thought I lost you, buddy,
but you were out saving the world?
Look at you.
You are rehired as my best friend.
Great, that's good news, thanks.
Oh, I have so many questions.
Where do I start?
Uh, how did this happen?
Did they recruit you at the Buy More?
Stanford?
Chuck?
I'm pretty sure we're gonna die,
so no time for secrets.
You know what? You're right, buddy.
You're right, and quite frankly,
you deserve to know.
- So here goes, you ready?
- Yeah, yeah, man.
Okay.
Started two and a half years ago,
when I got an e-mail from Bryce Larkin.
[GUITAR PLAYING "FORTUNATE SON"]
[SINGING] Some folks were born.
Made to wave the flag.
Ooh, they're red, white and blue.
And when the band plays
"Hail to the Chief"
Ooh, they point the cannon at you
Lord.
It ain't me It ain't me
I ain't no senator's son, son.
It ain't me It ain't me
I ain't no fortunate one No
[MUFFLED MUSIC PLAYING]
What is that noise?
The Buy More employees
have staged a revolution.
- So that's the sound of liberty.
- Mm-hm.
... taxman comes to the door.
Lord, the house looks like
A rummage sale, yes.
NEIL:
Good news, bad news.
Good news, we found what we were
looking for. Uploaded it to headquarters.
Bad news? Colonel Casey
has arrived at the Buy More.
Could be a problem.
Not if he's dead. Kill him.
Whoo!
It ain't me It ain't me
I ain't no fortunate one
No, no, no.
It ain't me It ain't me
I ain't no fortunate son
No, no, no
[CROWD CHEERING]
[GRUNTS]
[JEFF SNIFFS]
Peace out, man.
Hey, brother Casey,
make love not war.
You want a hit?
JEFF:
Hey, man, that's not cool.
[CASEY COUGHING]
[THUD]
Fight the power.
[GRUNTS]
Peace out.
Crap.
Castle has a self-destruct program
in case of events like this.
- Calling Langley to activate it now.
- You can't, Chuck is down there.
So is every piece of intelligence,
not just on The Ring, everything.
Please, just give Chuck
five more minutes, okay? For me.
I'm sorry, you can't think of Chuck.
You have to think like a spy.
I am thinking like a spy.
Chuck is a member of my team.
He has served well.
And for all that he has done...
...the least we can do
is just give him five more minutes.
So that's it. That's how it happened.
So now I got this thing in my brain.
The Intersect, like I told you, you know.
And it's not working.
Anything else you wanna know
before we die?
Uh, yeah, yeah, just one more.
So if Sarah is your handler,
does that make her your beard?
In other words, like...
Is your whole relationship a fake?
- Because, buddy, that's just awful.
- Why, because we never had sex?
No, I just felt like, having to be...
You never had sex with that girl?
That's not... No, no, it's....
It's awful you had to pretend to be in
a relationship with somebody you love.
Sarah and I are over, you know.
No, you're not.
You're a good liar, Chuck,
but you're not that good, all right?
You lied to me for three years
but I always knew.
You loved that girl.
I mean, I saw the way you looked at her.
We all did.
It's okay, you don't have to deny it.
You tell me you don't love Sarah?
You know what? You're right, buddy.
I do love Sarah.
I kept telling myself that I didn't.
That I wouldn't, I couldn't, but I do.
[LAUGHING]
Morgan, you have no idea how badly
I needed to get all this off my chest.
Thank you.
Get rid of them.
Kill them, dump the bodies.
Thank me later, buddy.
We're about to die.
No, you're not.
[GRUNTING]
- Chuck, sword.
- Thanks, buddy.
Mine's bigger than yours.
[MORGAN YELLS]
[THUD]
That was incredible.
You were incredible.
Like Bruce Lee, Van Damme,
Seagal rolled into one.
That's my best friend.
Yeah, he's out. He's out.
I couldn't get in. We're locked out.
Time's up.
[PHONE LINE RINGS]
MAN [OVER PHONE]:
This is Langley Control.
[MACHINERY WHIRS AND SLAMS]
Bag them and tag them, Sarah.
Excuse me.
Agent Walker.
We'll just have to put Grimes
in witness protection.
Move him out of Burbank tonight
after dark.
Wait, no, no, no. Hang on a second.
- Morgan's not going anywhere, okay?
- He knows your secret.
So do a lot of people.
Awesome knows.
We didn't put him underground.
Because Awesome's awesome.
Grimes is a moron.
We have no reason to believe
that we can trust him.
Yes, we do.
We have 22 reasons
why we can trust him.
That's the number of years
Morgan has been my best friend.
And yes, he has his faults, granted.
But one thing he is is loyal.
And he will never betray me
or my secret.
He's right.
Thank you.
Look, I'm flashing.
I'm a spy again
because I have my best friend back.
You need the Intersect
and I need him.
So Morgan Grimes is staying
exactly where he belongs...
...which is the Burbank Buy More.
[DOOR OPENS]
Thank you.
Hey, hey, buddy.
MORGAN: Hey.
- Sorry about the wait.
No, no problem, no problem.
Colonel Casey.
Always walking around so angry.
Should've known
you had a big secret.
God help us.
So, yeah, everything's okay.
Great. I love to hear it.
Okay, so am I, like,
officially part of the team, or...?
Let's, um....
Let's walk before we run, huh, buddy?
Yeah, maybe crawl before that.
Yeah. You know,
we should celebrate, okay?
Game night: "Duck Hunt,"
Subway Meatball Marinara...
...the way you like it
and the two of us.
Yeah, just the two of us.
- Ha, ha.
MORGAN: This place is amazing.
[PHONE RINGING]
- Buy More.
MAN [OVER PHONE]: Yes, hello.
This is Craig Rogers
from Buy More corporate.
I heard what happened there today.
Interesting display you put on there.
You calling to fire us or arrest us?
MAN:
Neither. I'm calling to hire you.
Yesterday, I was planning
on selling the store.
But I spoke to the potential buyers
and from what I've heard...
...your store showed the most incredible
display of store loyalty I've ever seen.
The store's no longer for sale.
Victory.
[ALL CHEERING]
When was the last time
you beat me at "Duck Hunt"?
I am the old school master.
Tell me, when was the last time
that you beat me at "Duck Hunt"?
- That's incredible.
- All right.
Keep these subs warm for me,
would you?
I'll be right in.
I talked to Shaw
and I heard what happened.
The Ring used me as a decoy.
- You said I was safe, bro.
- And you are.
You will be, okay?
We are doing everything
that we can...
...to make sure you and Ellie
are protected and safe.
Okay?
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
You okay? You've been a nervous wreck
ever since this morning.
- Babe, we need to get away.
- We just got away.
I'm talking about really getting away.
Just you and me.
Okay. Where do you wanna go?
Cabo?
- Further.
- Hawaii?
No, no, further.
I'm talking about....
- Africa.
- Africa.
- We can join Doctors Without Borders.
- Doctors Without Borders?
- Honey, you didn't wanna go to France.
- This is different, hon.
I am talking about you and me
traveling the world.
What do you say?
- I don't know what to say.
- Say yes.
This is crazy.
We can't just up and leave.
What about Chuck?
I'm the only family that he has.
But this isn't about Chuck.
No, this is about you and me.
About our family.
Come on, babe.
The Ring knows about the Castle.
Does that mean we have to shut down?
The Ring shut down
all communications.
Never had a chance to let their superiors
know about their discovery.
That will buy us time
to put together a full offensive.
- Take them down once and for all.
- So then what's wrong?
The Ring had me dead to rights
today in Malibu.
So why didn't they kill me?
So Sarah and Casey,
they're really spies, huh?
Yeah, yeah, they're great.
I trust them with my life.
[DUCKS QUACKING ON VIDEO GAME]
MORGAN:
Are you kidding me?
That is ridiculous, dude.
Look at that shooting.
Are...?
You did your flash thingy on it.
You flashed on "Duck Hunt."
[DOG LAUGHS ON VIDEO GAME]
[BEEPING]
- Hello?
MAN [OVER RADIO]: Hello, Colonel Casey.
It's been a while.
[ENGLISH - US - SDH]
of things you need to know or forgot.
Hannah, there are things in my life
that you can't understand.
So I have to end this.
- We need to talk.
- Not a good time.
You suggesting Chuck is caught in a big,
giant web of conspiracy and deception?
I'm gonna have to lie.
Can't do that anymore.
From now on, if Ellie asks,
say, "I don't know."
You two got it bad for this blond.
[GRUNTING]
It's about keeping his emotions in check,
so the Intersect can work.
Flash, come on.
You and Casey were right, I don't work.
My emotions just mess everything up.
CHUCK:
Hey, guys, I got your call.
What's...?
- What's going on?
- You're the Intersect, you tell us.
The Ring is planning to turn
and use a CIA agent against us.
The problem is,
we don't know who, when or where.
SHAW:
The Intersect should have something.
SARAH:
Did you flash?
Yeah, not.... Not flashing.
You haven't in a week, ever since Rafe
tried to kill Sarah and me.
- That's a problem.
- Problem?
Really, problem?
Kind of a strong word.
- Because a guy had off nights?
- Off nights get agents killed.
Figure this out, Intersect's not working.
I can't risk you out in the field.
Okay, so, what exactly are you saying?
I'm saying until you start flashing again,
you're no longer a spy.
No, no, no, you can't....
You can't do that.
Being a spy is all that I have.
I gave up everything for this.
Maybe some time off will do you good,
help you function again.
I don't need time off. I'm not flashing
because I have emotions bottled up.
Ever thought that?
I just broke up with Hannah.
I can't talk to my best friend or sister
about anything. I'm not a machine.
Okay, I am a machine,
but I'm also a person.
Well, you can always talk to us.
Yeah, uh, no thanks.
I don't think that's gonna work for me.
Well, find something that does work.
Because until you do, you're benched.
[SIGHS]
ELLIE:
This getaway was a perfect idea.
- It's just what we needed.
DEVON: You said it.
I can't tell you how awesome it feels
to be alone, just the two of us.
[PHONE RINGING]
- Sorry.
- It's okay.
I'll be just a sec.
- Hey, Chuck.
- Awesome, thank God you picked up.
- Everything okay, Chuck?
- No, not really.
I broke up with Hannah.
Sarah's falling for another guy.
Not only is my personal life a mess.
- But my spy life...
DEVON: Chuck.
I went on vacation to get away
from your spy life, okay?
- And to fix things with Ellie.
- No, Devon, Devon.
- Devon, I don't have anyone to talk to.
- I'm sorry, bro.
Remember what you said
about discussing your spy life?
I don't know.
I say he can get it in there, but I agree
with you, it seems impossible.
So put your wagers in.
Put your wage....
You are going to win this.
What do you got in your pockets?
MORGAN [OVER INTERCOM]:
Charles Irving Bartowski, please report to...
...the assistant manager's office
for disciplinary action.
LESTER:
Right? Well?
Oh, my, this is a shocker, he got it in.
I'm saying, do not wager
against the Brown Beauty and the Snake.
He can unhinge his jaw
and he sheds skin.
Have a seat, please.
- Do you need anything? You okay?
CHUCK: No, I'm good.
I mean, maybe a little leg room
would be nice.
This conversation is never an easy one
to have with an employee, Chuck.
And what conversation
would that be, exactly?
We've known each other
most of our lives.
We went through puberty together,
the awkward stage after puberty...
...awkward high school years,
your awkward college years...
...and now, our current awkward
Buy More years.
Which is why this moment for me
is so very....
- Awkward?
- Yeah.
- What exactly is going on?
- Something is.
Something is going on in your life.
You dumped Hannah, she quit Buy More.
She was a valued member of the store.
And I feel that a true best friend would
share that with his true best friend.
- You really wanna know the truth?
MORGAN: I do.
Lay it on me like slice of cheese
on a tuna melt. I am ready.
Okay, here it goes.
- I...
- Okay, got it.
- You don't have to say any more.
- I didn't say anything.
- Do you need help?
MORGAN: Never mind.
I cannot believe I'm saying this,
but you're fired.
What? You're firing me
from the Buy More?
Buy More, are you kidding me?
You're the best Nerd Herder we have.
I need you here.
I'm firing you as my best friend.
CHUCK: Hey, you guys leaving on the
mission? Sure you don't want me to join?
Love to but the Intersect is not working.
The agent The Ring plans to turn
is staying at this hotel.
SHAW: There's no record of any spy being
there so whoever it is is deep undercover.
Yeah, I'm sorry, I'm still not flashing.
We've gotta go.
Look, the team's a man short
without me.
Not today, I'm taking your place.
The Ring knows you're alive, Shaw.
It's dangerous.
And I can't leave
this team shorthanded.
Besides, if The Ring wants a fight,
I'll give them a fight.
Now, when we get back, I expect
this place to be exactly as I left it.
- You two newlyweds ready?
SARAH: Yeah, let's go.
What's with the rings?
What...? Hey, Casey, what am I
supposed to do while you're gone?
Don't you have a day job?
- Hey, what's going on?
LESTER: Shh.
Charles, this is a spy mission.
You are not qualified.
All right.
[LAUGHING]
LESTER:
Forty-nine, 57, 43, 40.
El Segundo School of Finance,
we take care of business.
- What's going on, Big Mike?
- Someone's thinking of buying the store.
We're closing so inspectors
and technicians can come kick the tires.
- We get the day off, Jeffrey. Let's get...
- No.
They want to interview everyone,
reevaluate the entire staff.
Fire everyone who's not essential.
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
We're in big trouble, boys.
Here are your keys.
Enjoy your stay here
at the Malibu Vista Hotel.
Might I add that the two of you
are a beautiful couple.
Oh, thank you.
Well, you two lovebirds have fun
while I'm cooped up in the van again.
Have a margarita for me.
[DOOR CLOSES]
CASEY [OVER RADIO]: There's a Ring
agent somewhere in this hotel. Find him.
I tapped into the mainframe.
If The Ring calls, we can trace it
to the room it originated from.
Sarah and I set up the equipment.
We'll begin searching
for possible targets.
Listen up, team.
These suits are sharks.
They'll try to divide us in interviews,
find weaknesses...
...look for any excuse they can
to fire our asses.
Yeah, listen, despite our differences,
all we have is each other.
- So let's stick together here, all right?
- This is a blood oath right here.
One for all and all for one.
- Lester Patel?
- Yeah, I found it.
Found it, contact lens.
All crisis averted.
- I love you, guys.
CHUCK: Yeah.
Come on down.
[LAUGHING]
- Oh, my God.
MORGAN: Oh, my God, we're doomed.
[ALL LAUGHING]
NEIL:
Have a seat, yeah, have a seat.
Okay, stop.
Before I spill secrets,
I wanna know I'm protected.
I want diplomatic immunity.
Well, I don't think it's appropriate
in this situation.
Bup, bup, bup.
You want the dirt? I want immunity.
Okay, immunity granted.
Okay, thank you, my brother.
Well, it's an interesting group
of employees you've put together here.
Oh, they scare me too. Ha-ha-ha.
But I got Bartowski, don't I?
That's right.
A man with a Stanford degree
is working here?
You see, gentlemen, I'm not just
a manager, I'm a people person.
Talent follows me. Ha, ha.
Morgan Grimes, assistant manager.
Morgan, buddy, I need to talk to you.
- You don't or I wouldn't have fired you.
- Can I please have a minute?
Not now,
I'm freaking about this interview.
Look, hey, buddy,
you're gonna be fine.
Besides, you can always get
another job.
- It's not the end of the world.
- Really?
You see, it may not be the end to you
but I don't have a Stanford degree.
I can't do anything else but Buy More.
This job is all I have.
NEIL:
Chuck Bartowski?
You're up.
It's an impressive r?sum?.
So, what's a Stanford grad doing
working at a Buy More?
Let's just say the Buy More offers
more opportunities than meets the eye.
Really? For instance?
For instance, I get to work
with my best friend every day.
- Your best friend?
- Yeah.
Yeah, Morgan Grimes,
the assistant manager.
Based on your track record,
you're the cream of this Buy More crop.
Why aren't you the assistant manager?
Because the right guy
has already got the job.
I know that you guys are maybe
gonna be making changes around here.
So I just want you to know
that while I might look good on paper...
...I'm not the cream of the crop.
Morgan Grimes is.
[LINE RINGING]
Okay, The Ring just made a call
from the hotel.
I'll connect you in while I trace it back.
MAN [ON PHONE]:
The target is by the pool.
Six-foot-two, well built. He's wearing
a blue and white bathing suit.
- Got that, Walker?
- Yeah, got it.
CASEY [OVER RADIO]:
Did you find the target?
Yeah, we found him.
- Cheers.
- Oh, so nice. Ha, ha.
DEL: Nice to meet you.
- Yeah, you too.
NEIL: Yeah, good egg.
- Yeah, really good egg.
- Really good egg.
- Have a good day.
- Yeah, you too.
- Take care.
[BEEPING]
Get the others in here.
So you really think this Bartowski guy
is Agent Carmichael?
Oh, it's Carmichael, all right. Looks like
Shaw left him behind to man the fort.
Should we abort the mission?
With Shaw not here it's our best chance
to infiltrate and recover everything.
Found the entrance
into Shaw's base yet?
- No.
- We don't have time. We have to find it.
- Do you want us to take out Bartowski?
- Not yet.
Keep interviewing employees.
Make sure Shaw didn't leave
any other surprises behind.
Chuck said Grimes is his best friend.
We can use them to our advantage.
What about the others?
We need to be conservative here.
Terminate the rest.
DEVON: Getting away was the best thing
we could've done.
I know I haven't been
the same guy lately...
...but since we got here,
I gotta tell you, I feel awesome again.
Me too. To us.
No stress. No work. No problemos.
Call came from Room 4305.
I'll head there now and search it.
We'll go to the pool,
get Devon and Ellie out of harm's way.
CHUCK:
Come on, flash. Okay....
[HUMMING]
[BILLY IDOL'S "DANCING BY MYSELF"
PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]
Oh, I know this, I know this.
Uh, the Condor, The Jackal.
Chan Min Chee.
Damn it, thought I had that one.
[SIGHS]
[PHONE RINGING]
[SIGHS]
- This better be good.
- Hey, just checking in on the mission.
- If you needed anything.
- You flashing?
I'm not, but I thought if you throw me
the rock, I'll pop on something.
- I don't have time for this.
- Only as good your last flash, huh?
[GRUNTS]
- Mm. Two more pi?a coladas coming up.
- Okay.
How's the water?
What are you doing here?
You are not supposed to be here.
I just reclaimed my awesomeness.
We got a tip The Ring was to turn
an agent staying at this hotel.
- You.
- Me?
I'm not an agent.
Chuck told me I was in the clear.
Are Ellie and I in danger?
I don't know.
MORGAN:
Can't believe they're selling Buy More.
I think they're serious
about buying this place.
They have been going through it
with a comb, even checking lockers.
NEIL:
It was really great talking to you.
Jeffrey Barnes?
You gotta help me, Morgan.
I've got contraband in my locker.
What kind?
Just something I use to take
the edge off on a stressful day.
- If they find it, I'll be fired for sure.
- Mr. Barnes?
Morgan, please.
Okay, okay, all right, dude.
CASEY:
I'm at The Ring agent's room.
I'm going in.
SARAH [OVER RADIO]: Be careful.
CASEY: I'm always careful.
[BEEPING]
MAN [ON RECORDING]:
The target is by the pool.
Six-foot-two, well built. He's wearing
a blue and white bathing suit.
Our operatives....
The target is about 6'2", well built.
He's wearing a blue
and white bathing suit.
- Our operatives are in position.
CASEY: It's a setup.
I gotta get Ellie out of here.
I gotta get us out now.
Keep it together, Devon.
We'll figure this out.
[PHONE RINGING]
DEVON:
What? What was that?
I'm so sorry. False alarm.
DEVON: You crash my getaway
to tell me I'm in danger.
- Now you tell me we're safe?
- Yes, I'm sorry.
Please try and enjoy
the rest of your vacation.
DEVON:
We got to get away from this.
Oh, my God.
What's this?
INSPECTOR: Let's see if we can
find anything in the break room.
[MACHINE WHIRRING]
[MACHINE BEEPS]
Found something.
There's a tunnel behind these lockers.
Fingerprint scanner.
This must be it. Get Del and Neil.
Tell them we found the CIA base.
[DEVICE BEEPING]
Good work.
Tell the others we found Shaw's base.
[GRUNTS]
[MOUTHING] Oh, my God.
[MORGAN MEOWS]
LESTER: This is not right, not right.
You understand what I'm saying?
Hey, what's going on?
My spy work paid off, obviously.
I miked Big Mike's office. All I got was
a few seconds but here, listen.
DEL [ON RECORDING]:
Chuck said Grimes is his best friend.
We can use them to our advantage.
NEIL: What about the others?
DEL: I think we need to be conservative here.
Terminate the rest.
They're gonna fire the entire store
except you and Morgan.
I just got this job back.
Where is Morgan?
DEL: Clever putting a CIA base
under an electronics store.
NEIL: Every piece of intelligence Shaw
has on The Ring is in here.
We'll put a dagger through the heart
of the CIA?s operation by taking it out.
DEL:
Neil, you're on.
Cut off all communications
coming in and out.
Break into the mainframe, find
and destroy everything they have on us.
Then blow this base sky high.
Be a pleasure.
CASEY:
The phone works remotely.
- It was a setup. They lured us here.
SARAH: Why would they lure us here?
It's not where they lured us to,
it's where they lured us from.
The Ring knows I'm alive. Means they
know I'll have a base somewhere.
They sent us so I'd abandon my base.
That way they can recover
all the intelligence we have.
They weren't after Devon.
- They're after Castle.
- Chuck's there. He's not flashing.
- He's a sitting duck.
- Go.
- We need to talk.
MORGAN: We got to talk, me first.
Whatever you're gonna say is nothing
compared to what I got.
- Okay, fine, yeah, please, shoot.
- Okay, dude.
There's a secret underground CIA base
under our Buy More.
I know, I'd....
Hey, I know it sounds crazy
but you have to believe me.
These people claiming to buy,
they're bad guys, okay?
And they call themselves The Ring.
Which is like, ooh, not that scary but
these guys are not to be messed with.
- How do you know all this, Morgan?
- Okay, I was hiding in there.
I saw them enter through an entrance
behind our lockers so I followed them.
And I heard and saw everything.
Hey, dude, this is a lot to handle,
but you got to stay with me.
You gotta pull it together because
we are now in real danger here, okay?
Buddy, don't freak out.
Heh.
- Chuck's not answering his cell.
- The Buy More landline's down.
[CASEY GRUNTS]
I think we should call the police.
That's a great idea.
That is a great idea, Morgan. Wow.
Wow. Yeah. Why?
What?
Wait, wait a minute, wait a minute.
I don't have a signal.
Right, bad guys cut off communication
to the store. Makes sense.
You know, by the time the cops
got here, it would be too late.
- We need to handle this now.
- No, Morgan.
We don't do anything
except get everyone out.
MORGAN:
Charles, listen to yourself.
These men are trying to blow up
a base under our store.
We are Buy More's...
America's last line of defense.
- We are going to take the fight to them.
- Morgan, listen to yourself.
This is not a video game, this is real life.
People get hurt, there is no restart.
I understand you're scared.
And that not everybody
has the stomach to be a hero.
I'll see if Jeff and Lester
wanna help and....
CHUCK:
Okay, look, fine, fine, fine.
I will help on one condition.
We get everyone else
out of the store first.
And what you've told me remains
a secret between the two of us.
Yes, you know what?
No need to put everyone at risk.
We will handle this, okay?
And this secret is locked down.
You would rather bring....
CHUCK: What's going on?
- We're locking down the store, Charles.
Refusing to leave
until they give our jobs back.
No, guys, that is a very...
Please, don't do that.
Don't put that there.
Stop putting things down.
Look, locking down the store
is a very bad idea.
You two wanna turn tail and run?
Fine.
I'm staying here
and fighting for my job.
Mike, gentlemen, assorted ladies.
Taking over Buy More is not only illegal,
but it's dangerous, trust me.
The only thing dangerous
is if they try to fire us.
They'll have to do it
over dead bodies.
These fat cats think they can take
whatever they want.
They can take our dignity.
They can take all the hot women,
but they will not take our jobs.
And they will never take our store.
[ALL CHEERING]
[SHUTTER CLICKS]
[JEFF SCREAMS]
- Sarah, Shaw, Casey, can you hear me?
SARAH [OVER RADIO]: You have....
[LATIN MUSIC PLAYS ON RADIO]
- Can you hear me?
SARAH: I can hear you, what's going on?
Oh, thank God, thank God.
Listen, listen, listen.
The Ring is inside Castle, guys.
Came in as buyers to purchase the store.
CASEY:
We're on our way back. Sit tight.
This is for you.
Mace. Not much, but it will do.
Emmett kept a stockpile
in case the Russians attacked.
This is for you, a walkie-talkie.
Don't drop it.
You ready? Let's do this.
No, no, no. Listen, listen, listen.
On second thought,
I don't think we should do this.
No, you're right.
Maybe get a burger or something.
Are you kidding me? Men are trying
to blow a base here, okay?
- Time is running out, time to step up.
- No, no, Morgan.
You don't want to do this, okay?
Trust me, you don't understand.
You don't understand.
I've been a loser my whole life.
I'm done with that.
It's time for me to be a hero.
But what is a hero, really?
You know?
DEL:
You're all alone, Agent Carmichael.
I've locked down the base.
Sir, who's Agent Carmichael, okay?
You're crazy.
Guy's crazy. He thinks you're a spy.
- Yeah, ridiculous, thinking I'm a spy.
- Ridiculous, sir.
Okay, listen to me.
We work at the Buy More.
And if you let us go, we're not gonna
tell anyone what you're doing. Tell them.
[WHISPERING]
I'll get you out of this.
Yeah, not a word, zipping it,
locking it down.
[IN NORMAL VOICE]
Locked. It's already locked down.
That is a sharp-looking razor.
We've searched the base's mainframe.
Shaw's files aren't there.
We know that he's hiding them here.
Tell us where they are,
Agent Carmichael.
Trust me, the alternative
is extremely unpleasant.
You know, I don't think
there's any need for torture.
Because even if I was a spy,
which I'm not.
But if I was a spy, my training would
have taught me to withstand torture.
So I don't really think it's gonna have
any effect at this juncture, right?
That's why I'm gonna torture him.
You made the mistake of telling us
the bearded fella is your best friend.
For the last time, where are the files,
Agent Carmichael?
Guys, guys, please.
Please, just listen to me.
This is ridiculous, okay?
I have known this man my entire life,
all right?
Chuck Bartowski has been
my best friend, my brother...
...since we were 6.
Chuck Bartowski is not a spy.
- Chuck, Chuck, Chuck.
- Chuck, please, tell him something.
DEL: Chuck.
- Tell him the truth, I'm scared.
Wait, wait, wait. Stop, stop, stop.
Stop.
Morgan, the truth is....
The truth is I am a member...
...of a joint NSA-CIA
black ops team...
...that is stationed here in Burbank.
I have a level six clearance...
...and my code name
is Charles Carmichael.
I'm a spy, buddy.
SHAW:
Sarah, anything?
We're locked out.
They overrode our security access.
SHAW: I'm locked out here.
Casey's checking Buy More.
Cease fire, cease fire.
Hold your fire, hold your fire.
Unlock the doors.
What is going on here?
Store's being bought, canning
everybody except Bartowski and Grimes.
We're staging a revolution
to take down the man.
- I want in.
- How do we know we can trust you?
That you're not some spy
for the man?
Because the thing I hate more than
hippie, neo-liberal fascists, anarchists...
...are the hypocrite fat-cat suits
they eventually grow up to become.
Yup, that works for me, good point.
Nice to chat.
Welcome aboard, my brother.
You're a spy?
Remember what I said
about freaking out? You're doing that.
- And you shouldn't do that.
- You're a spy?
- Stay with me, buddy, okay?
- You can kiss and make up later.
Where are Shaw's files? Now, Chuck.
We've got visitors. Colonel Casey and
Agent Walker decided to join the party.
- Casey and Sarah are spies too?
DEL: You got catching up to do.
Excuse me
while I take care of your friends.
We'll save the torture for later.
No, no, no, I can't....
I can't believe it.
All this time, you kept this a secret?
- From me?
- I'm so sorry, Morgan.
You have no idea how badly
I've wanted to tell you.
All this lying about where I've been....
You know,
making plans and breaking them.
And all the time, all I've wanted
to do was tell you all about it.
But I had to protect you too, you know?
Please understand that.
[SIGHS]
Wow.
Wow!
I don't....
My best friend is a spy?
This is unbelievable!
Best news I've ever heard!
Holy smokes,
it makes perfect sense too.
Why we stopped hanging out
and talking.
I thought I lost you, buddy,
but you were out saving the world?
Look at you.
You are rehired as my best friend.
Great, that's good news, thanks.
Oh, I have so many questions.
Where do I start?
Uh, how did this happen?
Did they recruit you at the Buy More?
Stanford?
Chuck?
I'm pretty sure we're gonna die,
so no time for secrets.
You know what? You're right, buddy.
You're right, and quite frankly,
you deserve to know.
- So here goes, you ready?
- Yeah, yeah, man.
Okay.
Started two and a half years ago,
when I got an e-mail from Bryce Larkin.
[GUITAR PLAYING "FORTUNATE SON"]
[SINGING] Some folks were born.
Made to wave the flag.
Ooh, they're red, white and blue.
And when the band plays
"Hail to the Chief"
Ooh, they point the cannon at you
Lord.
It ain't me It ain't me
I ain't no senator's son, son.
It ain't me It ain't me
I ain't no fortunate one No
[MUFFLED MUSIC PLAYING]
What is that noise?
The Buy More employees
have staged a revolution.
- So that's the sound of liberty.
- Mm-hm.
... taxman comes to the door.
Lord, the house looks like
A rummage sale, yes.
NEIL:
Good news, bad news.
Good news, we found what we were
looking for. Uploaded it to headquarters.
Bad news? Colonel Casey
has arrived at the Buy More.
Could be a problem.
Not if he's dead. Kill him.
Whoo!
It ain't me It ain't me
I ain't no fortunate one
No, no, no.
It ain't me It ain't me
I ain't no fortunate son
No, no, no
[CROWD CHEERING]
[GRUNTS]
[JEFF SNIFFS]
Peace out, man.
Hey, brother Casey,
make love not war.
You want a hit?
JEFF:
Hey, man, that's not cool.
[CASEY COUGHING]
[THUD]
Fight the power.
[GRUNTS]
Peace out.
Crap.
Castle has a self-destruct program
in case of events like this.
- Calling Langley to activate it now.
- You can't, Chuck is down there.
So is every piece of intelligence,
not just on The Ring, everything.
Please, just give Chuck
five more minutes, okay? For me.
I'm sorry, you can't think of Chuck.
You have to think like a spy.
I am thinking like a spy.
Chuck is a member of my team.
He has served well.
And for all that he has done...
...the least we can do
is just give him five more minutes.
So that's it. That's how it happened.
So now I got this thing in my brain.
The Intersect, like I told you, you know.
And it's not working.
Anything else you wanna know
before we die?
Uh, yeah, yeah, just one more.
So if Sarah is your handler,
does that make her your beard?
In other words, like...
Is your whole relationship a fake?
- Because, buddy, that's just awful.
- Why, because we never had sex?
No, I just felt like, having to be...
You never had sex with that girl?
That's not... No, no, it's....
It's awful you had to pretend to be in
a relationship with somebody you love.
Sarah and I are over, you know.
No, you're not.
You're a good liar, Chuck,
but you're not that good, all right?
You lied to me for three years
but I always knew.
You loved that girl.
I mean, I saw the way you looked at her.
We all did.
It's okay, you don't have to deny it.
You tell me you don't love Sarah?
You know what? You're right, buddy.
I do love Sarah.
I kept telling myself that I didn't.
That I wouldn't, I couldn't, but I do.
[LAUGHING]
Morgan, you have no idea how badly
I needed to get all this off my chest.
Thank you.
Get rid of them.
Kill them, dump the bodies.
Thank me later, buddy.
We're about to die.
No, you're not.
[GRUNTING]
- Chuck, sword.
- Thanks, buddy.
Mine's bigger than yours.
[MORGAN YELLS]
[THUD]
That was incredible.
You were incredible.
Like Bruce Lee, Van Damme,
Seagal rolled into one.
That's my best friend.
Yeah, he's out. He's out.
I couldn't get in. We're locked out.
Time's up.
[PHONE LINE RINGS]
MAN [OVER PHONE]:
This is Langley Control.
[MACHINERY WHIRS AND SLAMS]
Bag them and tag them, Sarah.
Excuse me.
Agent Walker.
We'll just have to put Grimes
in witness protection.
Move him out of Burbank tonight
after dark.
Wait, no, no, no. Hang on a second.
- Morgan's not going anywhere, okay?
- He knows your secret.
So do a lot of people.
Awesome knows.
We didn't put him underground.
Because Awesome's awesome.
Grimes is a moron.
We have no reason to believe
that we can trust him.
Yes, we do.
We have 22 reasons
why we can trust him.
That's the number of years
Morgan has been my best friend.
And yes, he has his faults, granted.
But one thing he is is loyal.
And he will never betray me
or my secret.
He's right.
Thank you.
Look, I'm flashing.
I'm a spy again
because I have my best friend back.
You need the Intersect
and I need him.
So Morgan Grimes is staying
exactly where he belongs...
...which is the Burbank Buy More.
[DOOR OPENS]
Thank you.
Hey, hey, buddy.
MORGAN: Hey.
- Sorry about the wait.
No, no problem, no problem.
Colonel Casey.
Always walking around so angry.
Should've known
you had a big secret.
God help us.
So, yeah, everything's okay.
Great. I love to hear it.
Okay, so am I, like,
officially part of the team, or...?
Let's, um....
Let's walk before we run, huh, buddy?
Yeah, maybe crawl before that.
Yeah. You know,
we should celebrate, okay?
Game night: "Duck Hunt,"
Subway Meatball Marinara...
...the way you like it
and the two of us.
Yeah, just the two of us.
- Ha, ha.
MORGAN: This place is amazing.
[PHONE RINGING]
- Buy More.
MAN [OVER PHONE]: Yes, hello.
This is Craig Rogers
from Buy More corporate.
I heard what happened there today.
Interesting display you put on there.
You calling to fire us or arrest us?
MAN:
Neither. I'm calling to hire you.
Yesterday, I was planning
on selling the store.
But I spoke to the potential buyers
and from what I've heard...
...your store showed the most incredible
display of store loyalty I've ever seen.
The store's no longer for sale.
Victory.
[ALL CHEERING]
When was the last time
you beat me at "Duck Hunt"?
I am the old school master.
Tell me, when was the last time
that you beat me at "Duck Hunt"?
- That's incredible.
- All right.
Keep these subs warm for me,
would you?
I'll be right in.
I talked to Shaw
and I heard what happened.
The Ring used me as a decoy.
- You said I was safe, bro.
- And you are.
You will be, okay?
We are doing everything
that we can...
...to make sure you and Ellie
are protected and safe.
Okay?
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
You okay? You've been a nervous wreck
ever since this morning.
- Babe, we need to get away.
- We just got away.
I'm talking about really getting away.
Just you and me.
Okay. Where do you wanna go?
Cabo?
- Further.
- Hawaii?
No, no, further.
I'm talking about....
- Africa.
- Africa.
- We can join Doctors Without Borders.
- Doctors Without Borders?
- Honey, you didn't wanna go to France.
- This is different, hon.
I am talking about you and me
traveling the world.
What do you say?
- I don't know what to say.
- Say yes.
This is crazy.
We can't just up and leave.
What about Chuck?
I'm the only family that he has.
But this isn't about Chuck.
No, this is about you and me.
About our family.
Come on, babe.
The Ring knows about the Castle.
Does that mean we have to shut down?
The Ring shut down
all communications.
Never had a chance to let their superiors
know about their discovery.
That will buy us time
to put together a full offensive.
- Take them down once and for all.
- So then what's wrong?
The Ring had me dead to rights
today in Malibu.
So why didn't they kill me?
So Sarah and Casey,
they're really spies, huh?
Yeah, yeah, they're great.
I trust them with my life.
[DUCKS QUACKING ON VIDEO GAME]
MORGAN:
Are you kidding me?
That is ridiculous, dude.
Look at that shooting.
Are...?
You did your flash thingy on it.
You flashed on "Duck Hunt."
[DOG LAUGHS ON VIDEO GAME]
[BEEPING]
- Hello?
MAN [OVER RADIO]: Hello, Colonel Casey.
It's been a while.
[ENGLISH - US - SDH]