Cheers (1982–1993): Season 8, Episode 7 - Death Takes a Holiday on Ice - full transcript
After Carla meets Darryl Mead, a Red Sox player who she has been lusting after and who has a mutual attraction for her, she mourns the fact that she is married. With Eddie constantly away with the ice show, she has all the disadvantages of marriage and none of the benefits. Her mourning turns into that of another kind when she receives news that Eddie has been killed saving an ice show performer - another penguin - from being run over by a Zamboni. Things turn worse when she finds out at the funeral service that there is another Mrs. Eddie LeBec, a woman by the name of Gloria who also claims to be Eddie's widow. Gloria even claims to have had twins with him. Carla is angry and confused, and would really like to know what was in Eddie's mind for marrying another woman and what was truly in his heart toward her. Finding out this information may be the only way Carla will be able to grieve Eddie's death properly.
Cheers is filmed before
a live studio audience.
Oh, brother. These
phone bills are sky high.
I've got to find a new
long-distance carrier.
Let me see, do I go with one
that charges
by the mile or the time of day?
Why don't you just use
the system that we all use.
What is it,
Sprint? MCI?
No, it's, uh, Cheers's phone.
Really, Ma?
That's... hey, hold on.
You know,
it's 12:00 in Tokyo.
Is that yesterday or tomorrow?
Cliff.
I left a quarter.
Anyway...
Sorry. Somebody was
talking to me here.
♪ Sometimes you wanna go ♪
♪ where everybody
knows your name ♪
♪ and they're always
glad you came ♪
♪ you wanna be
where you can see ♪
♪ our troubles
are all the same ♪
♪ you wanna go where
everybody knows your name ♪♪
Whoa!
What is it, Carla?
You look like
a large-mouth bass.
A very fetching
large-mouth bass.
Sammy's talking to Darryl Mead
of the Boston Red Sox.
I've been thigh-struck
over that guy for five years,
especially in '88,
when he led the league
in tight-fitting pants.
To know you're the best at
something... what an honor.
Go after him.
Go meet him.
I would love his autograph.
Maybe I can get him
to sign my breast.
That should complete
the lineup card, then.
For whatever reason, I'm
really hitting the ball a ton lately.
You're not dragging
the bat barrel.
You're waiting on
the breaking pitch.
Wow. If you say so.
Pleased to meet you.
Maybe I ought to introduce you.
Darryl, this is Carla LeBec.
She's a very big fan.
Up you go.
There you are.
Maybe I should
go get you a beer, huh?
Why don't you go to
Germany to get one.
You seem to know a lot
about baseball, Carla.
You remind me of
my first hitting coach.
Bet I look cuter
in black underwear.
Yeah, but he could
probably spit tobacco farther.
Don't count on it.
Listen, Carla, you want
to call me later?
We can go out
and have some dinner.
Are you kidding?
I'm there.
Wait a minute.
I can't go. Damn.
Why not? Got to work?
No. I don't want you
to think any less of me,
but I'm married.
Why should that stop you?
Sheesh, you're a pig.
Now I really wish
I could go out with you.
Just in case.
I don't know when a
paper cut felt this good.
I'll see you, Sam.
Thanks for the tips, Carla.
I hope I hit a home run tonight.
I swear, if I was single,
you'd have hit one already.
This is bad.
This is r...
I shouldn't have this.
I should not have this.
Rebecca...
Uh-huh.
This paper is my ticket
to eternal damnation.
So would you do me a favor?
Put it in the safe
and never give it to me,
no matter what I say,
no matter how much I beg,
do not give me
this piece of paper.
Let me just make sure
I gave you the right one.
I told you never
to give me this!
I can't believe this!
I mean, the guy with the
best buns on the Red Sox
asked me to go out with him,
and I have to say no.
It's not fair, I swear.
I get all the disadvantages
of being married
and none of the perks.
Wait.
There are perks?
She's just talking.
Eddie's on the road with the
ice show for months at a time.
The money he sends back
is a joke.
Yes, I guess the ice show craze
in America never really recovered
from the loss
of Frick and Frack.
He's never home
to help out with the family.
All that would be fine...
If I could just visit him for a
few bed sprints once in a while.
I don't even get that.
You're being too tough on him.
No, I mean it really.
He doesn't care
or pay attention.
Carla, it's for you.
Some guy from the ice show.
Case in point, Sammy, I
know exactly what that call is.
Tomorrow is graduation.
It's the most important
day in Anne Marie's life.
Or is it Serafina?
Uh, one of the older kids.
Anyway...
Eddie's probably
having someone call
with some lame, stupid excuse
why he can't show up.
All right.
What's his excuse?
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Right. Well,
these things happen.
Can't go to graduation, huh?
No, he can't.
What's the excuse?
He's dead.
Huh. That old one.
What's the problem?
Eddie's dead.
It was a freak accident
at the ice show.
Happened real sudden.
They were cleaning the ice
with that big machine
after the penguin salsa number.
One of the penguins slipped,
fell in front of the machine.
Eddie dived just in time,
pushed the guy out of the way.
He never felt a thing.
Honey, I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
Yeah.
Oh, looks like table
five's ready to order.
A lot of people
just remember Eddie
as a big, fat, wobbling penguin
on the ice show,
but before that,
he was quite a goalie.
Yeah, Sam, I remember that
night against the Maple Leafs,
he stopped, like, 40,
50 shots on goal.
I mean, counting 10
that got past him
that's one night's
work, isn't it?
But you got to give
the man his due.
He was one hell
of a penguin, too.
I wonder how many of us
would give up our lives
to save a fellow human being?
Time to close up.
We can do that, Carla.
No, no. It's my night
to clean and wash.
Carla, let me
just drive you home.
Why? There's nothing
I could do.
I'm going to close up.
Woo!
You know, along the lines of what
Doctor Crane was saying before,
how many of us,
when faced with the loss
of a loved one,
would stay and close up?
She is something.
I think she's still in shock.
Maybe I should take the
initiative and speak with her.
Many of us when faced with
having to talk with someone
who's lost a loved one
take the initiative...
Woody.
Shut up.
There's my answer.
Carla, different people
deal with the loss
of a loved one
in different ways.
A such, your stoic behavior
is quite understandable,
but studies in human behavior
tell us that we need to grieve.
Until we do allow ourselves
that emotional release,
we can never really get
back on the course of life.
You see, some people
hold in their grief
for literally years and years.
All they accomplish
is to prolong the grief
and the agony, casting a pall
over their own remaining
days on this earth.
Oh! Oh, mommy!
Mommy, why you?
Oh!
So we, the friends
of Edward LeBec,
silently, each in his own way,
bid him good-bye,
secure in the belief...
That he will live
in eternal peace.
I think this is a nice service.
You've been to
a lot of them, wood?
What do you mean, Sam?
Just from the size
of your family
and all the unfortunate things
that seem to happen.
No, no, you've got that wrong.
Very few of those people
were killed, just maimed.
I had an uncle
who lived to be 103.
He had both ears
till he was 101.
Carla...
Carla, it's good to cry.
It's cleansing.
Try.
At this point of the service,
I would like Mrs. LeBec
to kindly step forward.
I'm sorry. I meant
his wife to step forward.
I meant his current wife.
Uh-oh.
Look, lady, I don't know
what you're trying to pull,
but I'm not amused.
Yeah, if you're trying to
get a laugh at a funeral,
you're going to have to
be a lot funnier than that.
I am Gloria LeBec,
as in Eddie LeBec.
Who the hell are you?
I'm Carla LeBec,
Eddie's poor, grieving widow.
I'm Eddie's
poor, grieving widow.
That's impossible.
See this?
Yeah? Well, see this?
Yeah? Well, see this?
Widows, please.
Now, perhaps we can deal
with this unfortunate
revelation later
and continue with the memorial.
With all due respect, father,
the hell with that noise.
Eddie's not going anywhere
until I get some answers.
Lady, you've got a lot of nerve.
Me? What about you?
I'm his wife!
I'm his wife!
I'm his wife!
Ladies, ladies,
let go of the head.
Let go of the head.
Now just both of you
sit down right now,
and we'll settle this
after the service.
Father.
Thank you, son.
Now, as we reflect on the life
of this bewildered young man...
Eddie knew exactly
what he was doing.
Two years ago, he came to
my town with the ice show.
What town would that be?
Desperate hag, Iowa?
Kenosha, Wisconsin.
That's where
the ice show rehearses.
All right, so he had a fling.
It wasn't a fling.
Pengie and I fell in love.
Lady, what are you looking
to get out of this?
Money? Well, forget it.
What do you think they
paid a washed-up hockey goalie
who bounced around from
team to team and league to league
because he was never
any good in the first place?
These tributes are really
something, aren't they?
I am not gonna stand for that
kind of talk about my husband.
I told you, he was my husband.
I had twins with Eddie.
So what? So did I.
Yikes.
At least mine
don't give you warts
when you touch them.
Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
Oh, all right, lady.
You're cruisin'.
Go for it!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
So Woody,
how's that chin of yours?
Better.
I'm sorry I slugged you, Woody.
I thought you were one
of those ice people.
I just can't get over
this Eddie thing.
I mean, I understand going
out with 2 babes at 1 time,
but to actually be
married to both, that's sick.
Believe me, Sam,
in my profession,
I've learned that mankind if capable
of all kinds of deviant behavior.
But of course, now that
I have a child to support,
I say keep it coming.
Aw, come on,
what are you doing here?
I had to get out
of the house, Sam.
Walls closing in on you?
No. Too much broken
glass on the floor.
[CRASH]
Sweetheart.
Come on, everything's
going to be OK.
It's going to be fine.
It's not gonna be fine. It's
never going to be fine again.
Nothing in my life
makes sense anymore.
How could this happen?
How could he do this?
How could I not know?
What's wrong with me?
What was wrong with him?
How did he know which
pants were in which house?
How do I know
who he really loved?
I mean, it was
different with Nick.
Nick was scum with ear hair.
But Eddie... I mean,
Eddie was good.
The fact that
somebody good loved me
made me feel good.
Now if it turns out he
wasn't any good after all,
does that mean that all
this time I've been a fool?
I bet he kept jeans
at your house
and his dress slacks
at her place.
Carla, as one woman to another,
you were not a fool.
Becs, before you start
giving me advice
about love and marriage
and losing the most
important thing in your life,
go out sleep with a man,
why don't you?
Poor kid.
She's still mourning.
Sit down, I want to talk to you.
I got to find out. I got to
find out who he loved more.
What difference does it
make? The important thing is,
when he was with you,
he loved you.
How do I know that?
Well, all right, think of it...
At least he wasn't
just fooling around
with another woman.
I mean, he was married to her.
Uh-oh.
I want to talk to you.
Yeah? I want to
scratch you bald,
paint your butt blue,
and mail you to Guam.
I'd like to see you try.
I'd like to see that,
too, actually.
It's OK.
I didn't come here
to make trouble.
I just came here
to settle up a few things.
I was at a little
disadvantage at the funeral.
You had your friends
and family around.
You had fistfuls of
my hair in your hands.
I do want to set
something straight with you.
Eddie loved me.
He loved me more.
Prove it.
That's easy.
I was his true love
because he married me first.
Now, beat it.
[EVERYONE TALKING]
Carla's got a point.
Yeah? Well,
you didn't satisfy him.
Why else would he
have married me?
Now, that's something, too.
I'm telling you guys, butt out.
You got a point there,
Carla, maybe we...
[SILENCE]
Hey. Guys...
I bet the only reason
he married you
was because he knocked you up.
How do you know that?
Babe's intuition.
Yeah? Maybe that's the same
reason he married you.
But with me, it wasn't
a cheap thrill.
It was a very tender moment
in the back of
a Datsun hatchback.
Toyota corolla, front seat.
Ladies, stop right now, huh?
All this talk about
conceiving your children
in these cars...
Just makes me sick.
Doesn't anybody
buy American anymore?
Wait a minute.
I know how to settle any doubts
about how Eddie felt about me.
Check this out. Eddie's favorite
photograph in the whole world,
and he gave it to me...
Him with his nephews.
Don't they look happy?
These aren't his nephews.
These are my kids.
Of course they look happy.
This was taken on
the day they found out
they weren't gonna
be tried as adults.
Wait a minute.
Eddie gave you
a picture of my kids?
Yeah, and here's the eastern
league comeback goalie
of the year plaque,
the puck he stopped
in the overtime win
against the Blackhawks,
the tooth he stopped it with.
What have you got?
Not much.
I've got a cassette
of "O Canada".
It was kind of our song...
Us and 25 million other hosers.
All right, you proved
your point. You win.
Why don't you just get
out of here, all right?
Can I help you?
Yeah. My name's
Gordie Brown.
I worked with Eddie LeBec
in the ice show.
Ah, this bar...
It's just like Eddie
described it.
You knew Eddie, huh?
Knew him?
He saved my life.
Yeah, I knew him.
You're the penguin he pushed
out of the way from the Zamboni?
Yeah. Wrenched the hell
out of my thumb, too.
He didn't have
to push me so hard.
What do you want?
Well, I tried to explain
this to you at the funeral,
but someone had
their fist in my mouth.
Hey, it was her.
Man, you punch a couple
of guys out at a funeral,
and everybody's on your case.
What do you have to say?
Late one night
a couple months ago,
Eddie and I were drinking.
He told me he had a secret,
something he felt really guilty about.
So he wrote this note,
and he told me
if anything
ever happened to him,
that I should deliver it
to Carla.
Sam, I can't look at this.
Would you read it?
"Dear Carla, I hope you
never have to read this,
"because if you do,
it means I'm dead.
"How are you, eh?
"I've done a terrible thing.
"I had to marry another woman.
"I didn't want to,
but I made her pregnant.
"Oh, I guess I did
two terrible things.
"Anyway, I just want you
to know I'm sorry.
"You'll always be
the love of my life,
"even in death.
Stay loose.
Love, Eddie."
Yeah.
My work is done here.
Wait a minute.
Did he have anything for Gloria?
Would you be that Gloria?
Yeah.
No.
Well, congratulations...
Mrs. LeBec.
I guess this is yours.
Thanks.
Sure thing.
Hope the kid on the left still
doesn't have that runny nose.
Nah. He only does
that for pictures.
Mine, too.
Hey, maybe it's hereditary,
'cause Eddie's nose
was always running.
Wasn't it, though?
Well, I better be going.
The kids and I have got
a 17-hour bus ride
ahead of us to Kenosha.
What are you taking,
the polar route?
Hey, look, it's been
a hell of a day.
Why don't you skip the bus
and spend the night at my house.
That's nice of you, Carla.
You haven't seen my house.
Thanks.
Actually you'd be
doing me a favor.
I got to work late tonight,
and I could use a baby-sitter.
Cliff's leaving right now.
He'll drive you home.
I just ordered a beer
there, Carla. Sorry.
Ahh, that hit the spot.
Know what?
You're a pretty nice lady.
I can see why Eddie
knocked you up.
Ditto.
Did you know that Gloria
comes from the Latin "glorioski"?
It's an expression of surprise.
It was made popular
during the depression
by the round-eyed waif
little orphan Annie.
You know, it's no mistake
that she didn't have
any pupils in her eyes.
Carla, that was such
a sweet thing you did.
Yeah, well, I couldn't
let her sit on a bus
on the day of our
husband's funeral.
No. I mean getting rid
of Cliff a few hours early.
Carla, it just dawned on me.
You don't have
to work late tonight.
Yeah, I know,
but now that I know
that Eddie loved me best,
I just feel like I should
be alone for a while
and grieve for him
in my own way.
Pool room's empty, right?
Yeah.
CARLA: ♪ O Canada ♪
6-ball, corner pocket.
♪ Our home and native land ♪
[SHOOTING POOL]
[BALL DROPS IN POCKET]
a live studio audience.
Oh, brother. These
phone bills are sky high.
I've got to find a new
long-distance carrier.
Let me see, do I go with one
that charges
by the mile or the time of day?
Why don't you just use
the system that we all use.
What is it,
Sprint? MCI?
No, it's, uh, Cheers's phone.
Really, Ma?
That's... hey, hold on.
You know,
it's 12:00 in Tokyo.
Is that yesterday or tomorrow?
Cliff.
I left a quarter.
Anyway...
Sorry. Somebody was
talking to me here.
♪ Sometimes you wanna go ♪
♪ where everybody
knows your name ♪
♪ and they're always
glad you came ♪
♪ you wanna be
where you can see ♪
♪ our troubles
are all the same ♪
♪ you wanna go where
everybody knows your name ♪♪
Whoa!
What is it, Carla?
You look like
a large-mouth bass.
A very fetching
large-mouth bass.
Sammy's talking to Darryl Mead
of the Boston Red Sox.
I've been thigh-struck
over that guy for five years,
especially in '88,
when he led the league
in tight-fitting pants.
To know you're the best at
something... what an honor.
Go after him.
Go meet him.
I would love his autograph.
Maybe I can get him
to sign my breast.
That should complete
the lineup card, then.
For whatever reason, I'm
really hitting the ball a ton lately.
You're not dragging
the bat barrel.
You're waiting on
the breaking pitch.
Wow. If you say so.
Pleased to meet you.
Maybe I ought to introduce you.
Darryl, this is Carla LeBec.
She's a very big fan.
Up you go.
There you are.
Maybe I should
go get you a beer, huh?
Why don't you go to
Germany to get one.
You seem to know a lot
about baseball, Carla.
You remind me of
my first hitting coach.
Bet I look cuter
in black underwear.
Yeah, but he could
probably spit tobacco farther.
Don't count on it.
Listen, Carla, you want
to call me later?
We can go out
and have some dinner.
Are you kidding?
I'm there.
Wait a minute.
I can't go. Damn.
Why not? Got to work?
No. I don't want you
to think any less of me,
but I'm married.
Why should that stop you?
Sheesh, you're a pig.
Now I really wish
I could go out with you.
Just in case.
I don't know when a
paper cut felt this good.
I'll see you, Sam.
Thanks for the tips, Carla.
I hope I hit a home run tonight.
I swear, if I was single,
you'd have hit one already.
This is bad.
This is r...
I shouldn't have this.
I should not have this.
Rebecca...
Uh-huh.
This paper is my ticket
to eternal damnation.
So would you do me a favor?
Put it in the safe
and never give it to me,
no matter what I say,
no matter how much I beg,
do not give me
this piece of paper.
Let me just make sure
I gave you the right one.
I told you never
to give me this!
I can't believe this!
I mean, the guy with the
best buns on the Red Sox
asked me to go out with him,
and I have to say no.
It's not fair, I swear.
I get all the disadvantages
of being married
and none of the perks.
Wait.
There are perks?
She's just talking.
Eddie's on the road with the
ice show for months at a time.
The money he sends back
is a joke.
Yes, I guess the ice show craze
in America never really recovered
from the loss
of Frick and Frack.
He's never home
to help out with the family.
All that would be fine...
If I could just visit him for a
few bed sprints once in a while.
I don't even get that.
You're being too tough on him.
No, I mean it really.
He doesn't care
or pay attention.
Carla, it's for you.
Some guy from the ice show.
Case in point, Sammy, I
know exactly what that call is.
Tomorrow is graduation.
It's the most important
day in Anne Marie's life.
Or is it Serafina?
Uh, one of the older kids.
Anyway...
Eddie's probably
having someone call
with some lame, stupid excuse
why he can't show up.
All right.
What's his excuse?
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Right. Well,
these things happen.
Can't go to graduation, huh?
No, he can't.
What's the excuse?
He's dead.
Huh. That old one.
What's the problem?
Eddie's dead.
It was a freak accident
at the ice show.
Happened real sudden.
They were cleaning the ice
with that big machine
after the penguin salsa number.
One of the penguins slipped,
fell in front of the machine.
Eddie dived just in time,
pushed the guy out of the way.
He never felt a thing.
Honey, I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
Yeah.
Oh, looks like table
five's ready to order.
A lot of people
just remember Eddie
as a big, fat, wobbling penguin
on the ice show,
but before that,
he was quite a goalie.
Yeah, Sam, I remember that
night against the Maple Leafs,
he stopped, like, 40,
50 shots on goal.
I mean, counting 10
that got past him
that's one night's
work, isn't it?
But you got to give
the man his due.
He was one hell
of a penguin, too.
I wonder how many of us
would give up our lives
to save a fellow human being?
Time to close up.
We can do that, Carla.
No, no. It's my night
to clean and wash.
Carla, let me
just drive you home.
Why? There's nothing
I could do.
I'm going to close up.
Woo!
You know, along the lines of what
Doctor Crane was saying before,
how many of us,
when faced with the loss
of a loved one,
would stay and close up?
She is something.
I think she's still in shock.
Maybe I should take the
initiative and speak with her.
Many of us when faced with
having to talk with someone
who's lost a loved one
take the initiative...
Woody.
Shut up.
There's my answer.
Carla, different people
deal with the loss
of a loved one
in different ways.
A such, your stoic behavior
is quite understandable,
but studies in human behavior
tell us that we need to grieve.
Until we do allow ourselves
that emotional release,
we can never really get
back on the course of life.
You see, some people
hold in their grief
for literally years and years.
All they accomplish
is to prolong the grief
and the agony, casting a pall
over their own remaining
days on this earth.
Oh! Oh, mommy!
Mommy, why you?
Oh!
So we, the friends
of Edward LeBec,
silently, each in his own way,
bid him good-bye,
secure in the belief...
That he will live
in eternal peace.
I think this is a nice service.
You've been to
a lot of them, wood?
What do you mean, Sam?
Just from the size
of your family
and all the unfortunate things
that seem to happen.
No, no, you've got that wrong.
Very few of those people
were killed, just maimed.
I had an uncle
who lived to be 103.
He had both ears
till he was 101.
Carla...
Carla, it's good to cry.
It's cleansing.
Try.
At this point of the service,
I would like Mrs. LeBec
to kindly step forward.
I'm sorry. I meant
his wife to step forward.
I meant his current wife.
Uh-oh.
Look, lady, I don't know
what you're trying to pull,
but I'm not amused.
Yeah, if you're trying to
get a laugh at a funeral,
you're going to have to
be a lot funnier than that.
I am Gloria LeBec,
as in Eddie LeBec.
Who the hell are you?
I'm Carla LeBec,
Eddie's poor, grieving widow.
I'm Eddie's
poor, grieving widow.
That's impossible.
See this?
Yeah? Well, see this?
Yeah? Well, see this?
Widows, please.
Now, perhaps we can deal
with this unfortunate
revelation later
and continue with the memorial.
With all due respect, father,
the hell with that noise.
Eddie's not going anywhere
until I get some answers.
Lady, you've got a lot of nerve.
Me? What about you?
I'm his wife!
I'm his wife!
I'm his wife!
Ladies, ladies,
let go of the head.
Let go of the head.
Now just both of you
sit down right now,
and we'll settle this
after the service.
Father.
Thank you, son.
Now, as we reflect on the life
of this bewildered young man...
Eddie knew exactly
what he was doing.
Two years ago, he came to
my town with the ice show.
What town would that be?
Desperate hag, Iowa?
Kenosha, Wisconsin.
That's where
the ice show rehearses.
All right, so he had a fling.
It wasn't a fling.
Pengie and I fell in love.
Lady, what are you looking
to get out of this?
Money? Well, forget it.
What do you think they
paid a washed-up hockey goalie
who bounced around from
team to team and league to league
because he was never
any good in the first place?
These tributes are really
something, aren't they?
I am not gonna stand for that
kind of talk about my husband.
I told you, he was my husband.
I had twins with Eddie.
So what? So did I.
Yikes.
At least mine
don't give you warts
when you touch them.
Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
Oh, all right, lady.
You're cruisin'.
Go for it!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
So Woody,
how's that chin of yours?
Better.
I'm sorry I slugged you, Woody.
I thought you were one
of those ice people.
I just can't get over
this Eddie thing.
I mean, I understand going
out with 2 babes at 1 time,
but to actually be
married to both, that's sick.
Believe me, Sam,
in my profession,
I've learned that mankind if capable
of all kinds of deviant behavior.
But of course, now that
I have a child to support,
I say keep it coming.
Aw, come on,
what are you doing here?
I had to get out
of the house, Sam.
Walls closing in on you?
No. Too much broken
glass on the floor.
[CRASH]
Sweetheart.
Come on, everything's
going to be OK.
It's going to be fine.
It's not gonna be fine. It's
never going to be fine again.
Nothing in my life
makes sense anymore.
How could this happen?
How could he do this?
How could I not know?
What's wrong with me?
What was wrong with him?
How did he know which
pants were in which house?
How do I know
who he really loved?
I mean, it was
different with Nick.
Nick was scum with ear hair.
But Eddie... I mean,
Eddie was good.
The fact that
somebody good loved me
made me feel good.
Now if it turns out he
wasn't any good after all,
does that mean that all
this time I've been a fool?
I bet he kept jeans
at your house
and his dress slacks
at her place.
Carla, as one woman to another,
you were not a fool.
Becs, before you start
giving me advice
about love and marriage
and losing the most
important thing in your life,
go out sleep with a man,
why don't you?
Poor kid.
She's still mourning.
Sit down, I want to talk to you.
I got to find out. I got to
find out who he loved more.
What difference does it
make? The important thing is,
when he was with you,
he loved you.
How do I know that?
Well, all right, think of it...
At least he wasn't
just fooling around
with another woman.
I mean, he was married to her.
Uh-oh.
I want to talk to you.
Yeah? I want to
scratch you bald,
paint your butt blue,
and mail you to Guam.
I'd like to see you try.
I'd like to see that,
too, actually.
It's OK.
I didn't come here
to make trouble.
I just came here
to settle up a few things.
I was at a little
disadvantage at the funeral.
You had your friends
and family around.
You had fistfuls of
my hair in your hands.
I do want to set
something straight with you.
Eddie loved me.
He loved me more.
Prove it.
That's easy.
I was his true love
because he married me first.
Now, beat it.
[EVERYONE TALKING]
Carla's got a point.
Yeah? Well,
you didn't satisfy him.
Why else would he
have married me?
Now, that's something, too.
I'm telling you guys, butt out.
You got a point there,
Carla, maybe we...
[SILENCE]
Hey. Guys...
I bet the only reason
he married you
was because he knocked you up.
How do you know that?
Babe's intuition.
Yeah? Maybe that's the same
reason he married you.
But with me, it wasn't
a cheap thrill.
It was a very tender moment
in the back of
a Datsun hatchback.
Toyota corolla, front seat.
Ladies, stop right now, huh?
All this talk about
conceiving your children
in these cars...
Just makes me sick.
Doesn't anybody
buy American anymore?
Wait a minute.
I know how to settle any doubts
about how Eddie felt about me.
Check this out. Eddie's favorite
photograph in the whole world,
and he gave it to me...
Him with his nephews.
Don't they look happy?
These aren't his nephews.
These are my kids.
Of course they look happy.
This was taken on
the day they found out
they weren't gonna
be tried as adults.
Wait a minute.
Eddie gave you
a picture of my kids?
Yeah, and here's the eastern
league comeback goalie
of the year plaque,
the puck he stopped
in the overtime win
against the Blackhawks,
the tooth he stopped it with.
What have you got?
Not much.
I've got a cassette
of "O Canada".
It was kind of our song...
Us and 25 million other hosers.
All right, you proved
your point. You win.
Why don't you just get
out of here, all right?
Can I help you?
Yeah. My name's
Gordie Brown.
I worked with Eddie LeBec
in the ice show.
Ah, this bar...
It's just like Eddie
described it.
You knew Eddie, huh?
Knew him?
He saved my life.
Yeah, I knew him.
You're the penguin he pushed
out of the way from the Zamboni?
Yeah. Wrenched the hell
out of my thumb, too.
He didn't have
to push me so hard.
What do you want?
Well, I tried to explain
this to you at the funeral,
but someone had
their fist in my mouth.
Hey, it was her.
Man, you punch a couple
of guys out at a funeral,
and everybody's on your case.
What do you have to say?
Late one night
a couple months ago,
Eddie and I were drinking.
He told me he had a secret,
something he felt really guilty about.
So he wrote this note,
and he told me
if anything
ever happened to him,
that I should deliver it
to Carla.
Sam, I can't look at this.
Would you read it?
"Dear Carla, I hope you
never have to read this,
"because if you do,
it means I'm dead.
"How are you, eh?
"I've done a terrible thing.
"I had to marry another woman.
"I didn't want to,
but I made her pregnant.
"Oh, I guess I did
two terrible things.
"Anyway, I just want you
to know I'm sorry.
"You'll always be
the love of my life,
"even in death.
Stay loose.
Love, Eddie."
Yeah.
My work is done here.
Wait a minute.
Did he have anything for Gloria?
Would you be that Gloria?
Yeah.
No.
Well, congratulations...
Mrs. LeBec.
I guess this is yours.
Thanks.
Sure thing.
Hope the kid on the left still
doesn't have that runny nose.
Nah. He only does
that for pictures.
Mine, too.
Hey, maybe it's hereditary,
'cause Eddie's nose
was always running.
Wasn't it, though?
Well, I better be going.
The kids and I have got
a 17-hour bus ride
ahead of us to Kenosha.
What are you taking,
the polar route?
Hey, look, it's been
a hell of a day.
Why don't you skip the bus
and spend the night at my house.
That's nice of you, Carla.
You haven't seen my house.
Thanks.
Actually you'd be
doing me a favor.
I got to work late tonight,
and I could use a baby-sitter.
Cliff's leaving right now.
He'll drive you home.
I just ordered a beer
there, Carla. Sorry.
Ahh, that hit the spot.
Know what?
You're a pretty nice lady.
I can see why Eddie
knocked you up.
Ditto.
Did you know that Gloria
comes from the Latin "glorioski"?
It's an expression of surprise.
It was made popular
during the depression
by the round-eyed waif
little orphan Annie.
You know, it's no mistake
that she didn't have
any pupils in her eyes.
Carla, that was such
a sweet thing you did.
Yeah, well, I couldn't
let her sit on a bus
on the day of our
husband's funeral.
No. I mean getting rid
of Cliff a few hours early.
Carla, it just dawned on me.
You don't have
to work late tonight.
Yeah, I know,
but now that I know
that Eddie loved me best,
I just feel like I should
be alone for a while
and grieve for him
in my own way.
Pool room's empty, right?
Yeah.
CARLA: ♪ O Canada ♪
6-ball, corner pocket.
♪ Our home and native land ♪
[SHOOTING POOL]
[BALL DROPS IN POCKET]