Charmed (1998–2006): Season 6, Episode 4 - The Power of Three Blondes - full transcript

It's okay, you're gonna be okay.

Okay? That demon wiped out
that whole family of innocents.

-How will I ever be okay?
-You learn.

If that demon
is anywhere in that Book,

I'm gonna nail his sorry ass.

Oh, those poor children.

They were so scared.

I could feel their pain.

Okay, maybe you could
feel their pain a little less, Phoebe.

Remember, she's an empath now.

I know what her powers are.



Okay, I think a little sister bonding
is in order for all of us here.

-I'll get the tea.
-No.

PAIGE:
Did you see that demon?

Did you see those teeth,
flying out like razor blades?

We need to kill that demon.

For the children.
All six of those children.

Fine, we'll hit the Book now, tea later.

[GASPS]

[GRUNTS]

-Told you it wouldn't work.
-Well, it's her fault.

Who's ever heard of a demon
with razor flying teeth before?

My fault? I'm not the one
who made the innocents

-into the von Trapp family.
-Did not.

-Did too.
-Knock it off.



[SIGHS]

It's my fault for going along
with you two.

We can look like the Charmed Ones,
but let's face it, our acting sucks.

If we want the Book of Shadows,
we need to become them.

It's time to try my identity-theft spell.

No way! They'll come after us.
It's a suicide mission.

And it's dangerous too.

So what? You wanna be
chiselers your whole life?

It's time to think big, and thinking big
means making the whole world

believe that we are them.

[SCOFFS]

I don't wanna be them.
I wanna be bad.

-Me too. Bad's better.
-Then stick with me.

Because once we get the Book,
we'll steal their powers

and then form our own power of three.

-And you know what that means.
-No.

-And you know what that means.
-No.

We'll be the untouchable sisters.

PIPER:
Phoebe, Paige, are you up there?

Perfume, girls.

[FOOTSTEPS APPROACH]

What time did he go to sleep?

Okay, can you call me
as soon as he starts to stir?

Okay, thanks.

Jack, the band is coming in in an
hour to set up and do a sound check.

Can you take care of them? I wanna
be home when my baby wakes up.

-I'm on it.
-Hey. You ready for lunch?

I was thinking I can make you
something fabulous at home instead.

Piper, every new mommy
needs a little grown-up time.

-That's why we got the nanny, right?
-Right.

So let's go... Oh...

Was that a moan?

[WHISPERS]
Piper!

[WHISPERS]
What?

That new bartender guy
is checking you out.

Are you telling me that you're feeling
what he's feeling for me?

Yes, I still can't control
my new power.

All right, that's it.
Take your shoes for a walk, buddy.

-That's creepy.
-I know, it's horrible.

You should have seen it
the last time Jason was in town.

I couldn't keep my hands off of him.

I don't know
what I'm gonna do this weekend.

Jason is flying in
from Hong Kong again?

Wow, I'd say that guy
is falling for you.

You think so? I think so. I hope so.

But all I can feel
is this strong sexual desire for me.

And that's a bad thing.

Yeah, it's a bad thing
if that's all he's feeling.

And if it is all he's feeling,
I want to know now so I don't get hurt.

Well, why don't you
take him to a restaurant,

where you can't get buck wild,
and ask Jason how he feels.

Hm, the direct approach.
Very sneaky of you.

And if that doesn't work, ask him
about the weather in Hong Kong.

TOGETHER:
No.

We're not demon hunting.
We're going to lunch.

Hey, I am not unreasonable.
We can hunt demons after lunch.

-By the way, anyone seen Leo?
-No, I have not.

-I haven't either.
-If you do, let me know.

There's a rumor that he has
a lead on who sent him to Valhalla.

I'm sure that's very important stuff,
but I have another question.

Did either one of you leave
the Book on the floor last night?

-On the floor?
-No, I didn't.

Chris?

I vaguely remember a story
that started like that in the future.

-Someone was after the Book.
-Demons are always after the Book.

-What's new?
-I think this time they get it.

You should take
this threat seriously. And tell Paige.

-Where is Paige?
-She's at her new temp job.

-She's still on that kick?
-It's not a kick, Chris.

It's her quest for happiness
outside of magic.

Yeah, but it's a temp job.
Who finds happiness on a temp job?

Straighten your back. You wanna
get out of bed in the morning?

Back straight. Check.

No, no, mira. Don't reach.
Let them come to you.

Okay.

Forget it. Keep the line moving.

Okay. How long have you been
working here, anyway?

Eight years and two herniated discs.

Didn't know what you were getting into
on this one, did you?

No, I can't say as I did. But it's fun.

You know, I get to work with my hands
and it's kind of like nature.

And best of all, there's no magic.

Markers, magic markers,
I'm crazy... Crazy allergic.

Oh, no.

Watch out!

[GRUNTING]

Everybody okay over here?

She saved my life.

-It was nothing.
-All right, everybody,

take 20 till we can
perform a safety check here.

That is the third accident this month.

I think this place is maldito. Cursed.

I think I'm maldito.

[LAUGHING]

I can't tell if anyone's home from here.

MARGO:
If I get Piper's powers,

first thing I'm gonna do
is freeze these unwanted facial lines.

I'm the oldest, I get Piper's powers.
You'll get Paige's.

Well, in that case,
maybe I'll orb away this blemish.

Stakeout takeout, anyone?

-Ooh.
-All I asked for was a scrying bulb.

Just because
we killed the owners here

doesn't mean we should let
their food go to waste. Oh.

Give me sight though the blackest bile
Show me the faces I revile

Piper's the only one home right now.

We need all three sisters together
for my spell to work.

She's with the baby. I can't wait
to orb that thing into a volcano.

As the baby in the family,
I'm afraid I'll be doing the orbing.

-We get our powers by sorority.
-That's "seniority," Margo.

And that's not fair.
I wanted Paige's power.

Don't talk to me about fair.
I always got less growing up.

And usually two years out of style.

There's nothing wrong
with Phoebe's powers, Mitzy.

-You'll be able to levitate.
-Yeah, six feet in the air.

Margo will be orbing
around the world.

I'll send postcards.

Don't forget, you'll also have the
power of premonition and empathy.

Like I care what happens
to people or how they feel.

Maybe you should care, instead of this
"me, me, me" attitude all the time.

You're gonna get your teeth
knocked in if you don't back off!

Enough!
What is wrong with you two?

We have worked way too hard
to let it all fall apart now.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Hello, are you the lady of the house?

Go away.

This is the biggest con of our lives.

If we don't get this right, we're gonna
be two-bit magic hustlers forever.

Is that what you want?

[DOORBELL RINGS]

But you haven't seen
the amazing new Kelby 3000.

-Just get inside.
-Okay, okay.

The secret of the Charmed Ones lies
in their sisterhood. The power of three.

Well, guess what.
We got our own sisterhood.

Our own power of three, right here.

If we can just stick together,
we can have it all.

You'll never have it all
until you own the Kelby 3000.

I'm telling you,
this baby is gonna change your...

[GRUNTS]

So who's with me?

I'm sorry, sweetie.

Oh, me too.

I'll orb you anywhere you wanna go.

That's more like it.

Now, let's sit back,
relax until the other two get home.

All right, look, Mommy'll try it. Mm.

That's so horrible!
Wow, is that horrible.

Leo, what are you doing here?
You're not supposed to be here.

I was looking for Chris.
I heard he was asking about me.

He was. He thinks you found
the person that sent you to Valhalla.

-He does?
-Mm-hm.

But he's not here.

But even if he was, I mean, why can't
you use your elder powers to sense,

like you sensed me here with...?

Sorry.

For missing your son? That's okay.

As an elder,
I watch over him every minute,

but it's not the same, you know.

When he's sleeping, sometimes I orb
into the nursery just to hold him.

Yeah. Yeah.

PAIGE: Piper, you home?
-I shouldn't have come.

[CRIES]

-Oh, sweetie.
-Dude, there are gremlins

at the fruit-packing plant.

And I am the only one who can
prevent serious workplace injury.

This is not what I planned.

You lost me at "fruit-packing plant."

It's my new temp job.

I keep trying to find
a life away from magic,

and all I get is magic,
magic, magic, everywhere.

Oh, don't worry, little dude,
I'm not gonna let the gremlins get you.

It's okay,
I think he just misses his dad.

Oh. I'm gonna go upstairs
and check in the Book of Shadows

and see what it says about
the capture and control of gremlins.

Did you leave the Book
on the floor last night?

No, why?

I don't know, it's probably nothing.

Just be on the lookout.
Chris said somebody may be after it.

Duh. People are after it every week.

You're okay, you're okay.

Fussy babies need fresh air.

Oh, that's a good idea.
I'll go get my sweater.

Nonsense. Let me take
the boy for a walk.

All right.

Just don't forget
a hat for those ears.

I always keep the baby warm.

I meant yours.

You are on a real hot streak, kiddo.

Your advice column has never been
more revealing.

Yeah, well, I just think
that I'm really in touch

with what other people
are feeling right now.

Whatever it is, keep it up.

Honey!

-You're back!
-God, I missed you, Phoebe.

Uh...

Oh, no. No, no, not again.

-What's wrong?
-Nothing is wrong.

How was the weather in Hong Kong?

-Weather?
-Yeah, I hear it gets very balmy there.

-Balmy.
-I suppose.

You really wanna
talk about the weather?

No, I just don't wanna
be alone with you.

-Huh?
-I mean,

I do wanna be alone with you, just not
alone with you here, you know?

I just... I wanna be alone
with you in a public area.

You're still a little shaken up
over my last visit.

You know,
your behaviour wasn't all that...

Humiliating and embarrassing.
It was.

Yeah. I just would appreciate
if we could take things...

...slower, you know?
Maybe go out for dinner and talk.

I'll pick you up at 7.

Yay. Okay.

Can't wait to talk. Talk.

MABEL:
You know what this means.

It's spell time.

We got one shot, so pay attention.

After we read this spell, the world
will see us as the Halliwell sisters.

You mean I'm going brunette?

No, you'll look like you do now,
but the world will know you as Phoebe.

MARGO:
Let's go, let's go!

I'm dying to orb someplace far away
and exotic, like Fort Lauderdale.

Not so fast.
The spell only gives us their identities.

They keep their powers until
we can get to the Book of Shadows.

Which we should be able to do
once we lure them out of the house.

-Okay, everyone ready?
-Mm-hm.

TOGETHER:
"Blinking faces blank and ho-hum

We are they and they are no one

"Grant to us the power of three
and turn them into nobody"

Did it work?

One way to find out.
Let's call our whitelighter.

Chris.

Why did you change clothes, Piper?
You can't hunt demons in heels.

Go switch your shoes
and we'll get started.

Hey, slow down there, angel.

It's all good in the charmed universe.
What's your hurry?

Paige, did you just call me "angel"?

She did. And I can clearly see why.

Okay. What are you doing
over here?

Oh, well, we were just, um...

Solving a murder. Evil has been here,
probably spying on us.

This could be connected to whoever
is after the Book of Shadows.

Could be. See that symbol
carved into the handle?

We think that
that represents the astral plane.

I don't know. The astral planes
are run with spirit and energy.

It's not like they manufacture
athames there.

All the more reason
you should orb over and investigate.

You want me to orb
to the astral plane?

Immediately. And don't come back till
you find out where that knife is from.

Can I have a kiss goodbye?

No.

Oh, well, girl's gotta try.

You know what this means.

We are charmed and dangerous.
Oh, yeah.

[CLEARS THROAT]

-Excuse me. Elise?
-Phoebe. I thought you left.

I did. Now I'm back.

That's not against the rules, is it?

What you got there?

It's a new article for tomorrow's paper.
I didn't like what I wrote before.

Is this crayon?

Eyeliner, actually.
I didn't have a pen.

Well, it's a little late for new copy,
but I'll see what I can do.

Awesome.

I mean, thank you.

Phoebe. Thought you were
getting ready for dinner.

Wow. You are hot.

Are you okay?

Never better. Did you say
we were hooking up tonight?

I'll swing by at 7.

Great. I'll be ready for you, sugar.

Ooh.

MITZY:
Mm.

[MOANING]

Phew.

I did not fire your band.
I need them to play tonight.

Today at rehearsal?
No, that's impossible.

I have been home all afternoon.

Okay, listen. I'll be right there.

I gotta go to P3,

so tell the nanny to give
Wyatt dinner if I'm not back in time.

Okay. Bye.

Okay, this vanquishing potion
is more like vanquishing goo.

Can you check
the last ingredient for me?

Sure.

-Whoa. That was different.
-Try it again.

It's like it's not recognizing us.

Okay, that's weird, I was just holding
it in my hands ten minutes ago.

Wait, Chris said something
might happen to the Book,

remember, and we just
kind of blew him off?

Chris! Hello, are you there?

[PHONES RINGING]

Is that you? Who is that?

-Both of us.
-Oh.

-Hello?
-Hey, Elise.

There's a union rally
at the fruit-packing plant?

No, I did not advocate
multiple sex partners.

-I'm not leading the rally, I'm at home.
-I didn't say alcohol cures depression.

Of course I believe
in equal pay for workers.

-This is Phoebe. Hello?
-Hello?

Ugh.

-Emergency at work?
-Yeah.

-Unfortunate coincidence?
-Not likely.

I don't know about you,
but I wanna keep my job.

Yeah, me too. I'll leave a note
for the nanny, she's out walking Wyatt.

And I'll try to put the Book away.

I'm gonna change in case I don't make
it back in time for my date with Jason.

All right, meet back here
as soon as possible.

Hey, Ray, did the band leave yet?

I'm sorry, ma'am, we're not open yet.

-Ha, ha, ha. Very funny.
-You'll have to come back tonight.

Ray, I'm missing dinnertime with my
kid because the band canceled, okay?

I'm not in the mood for jokes.

They didn't cancel,
the owner fired them.

Too bad, too, they were good.

You one of their groupies?

Wha...? No, I'm your boss and
I'm gonna fire you if you don't move it.

Look, lady, there's a bar open up the
road if you really need another drink.

I have to admit, Piper, when you
said that there'd be fringe benefits,

-you weren't kidding.
-Oh, I'm all about job satisfaction.

-Yeah? What about after-hours?
PIPER: Yeah, so do I.

And you're gonna be
one sorry dude if you don't move!

Oh, uh...

You know what?
There's some work I have to deal with,

but I'll try to wrap it up early.

Why don't you come by the house
after your shift.

Like you could.

[IMITATES RAY]

Why is Ray acting
like he doesn't know me?

Would you please tell him who I am?

Sure. Who are you?

WORKERS:
Equal pay, shorter days.

Equal pay, shorter days.
Equal pay, shorter days.

[CHEERING]

What a circus.

Okay, get down! Quiet down!
Everybody quiet down!

I talked to my supervisor,
and he's replacing all of you

if you don't get your asses
back on that line!

You mean the line with
unsafe working conditions?

WORKERS: Yeah!
-No medical benefits?

-Yeah!
-And third-world wages?

I don't think so.

Equal pay, shorter days.
Equal pay, shorter days.

May I help you, miss?

Oh, it's okay, I work here.
Who's that girl on the conveyor belt?

-I'd like to see some ID, please.
-Oh.

-Who you steal this from?
-What are you talking about?

Come on, let's go.

Split up, fan out. Find the Book.
We don't have much...

CHRIS:
I'm on to you three.

What do we do?

You thought you could fool me,
but you can't.

This athame
isn't from the astral plane.

You sent me on a wild-goose chase

so you wouldn't have
to hunt demons, didn't you, Piper?

-Busted.
-Guilty.

You figured us out, Chris.

We are so sorry.

Yeah, you should be.

Look, there's an evil
out there after Wyatt,

and we need to find him before he...
Phoebe, what are you doing?

Finding comfort in my whitelighter.

You're all over him.

You're just jealous
because I got to him first.

Look, Phoebe, I know Piper
hooked up with her last whitelighter,

but I'm really,
really not interested, okay?

Can we get back
to hunting demons, please?

Actually, Chris, we can't.

We didn't ditch you to play hooky.

We needed time to investigate
the death across the street.

Well, why didn't you
say so in the first place?

I would have given you time off
for legitimate charmed duties.

Well, we're asking now. We believe
that athame belongs to witches.

Really smart, pretty witches.

We just don't know who they are.

So why don't I check around
this realm for you.

It's like you read my mind.

See? I can be reasonable and helpful.
All you gotta do is be honest with me.

Okay, now we really are running
out of time. We need that Book.

You two search down here,
I'm gonna take upstairs.

And from now on,
keep your hands off the whitelighter.

That's an order.

[GRUNTING]

MITZY:
Hurry. Hurry, before they get home!

This is it, this is what we want.

All right, who do you think you are?

Oh, you haven't heard?
We're the Charmed Ones.

Nice dress.

Thanks.

Nice Book.

-"Powers of the witches, rise"
-Hey, hey. I can't freeze them.

"Come to us, who call you near
Come to us and settle here"

Let's see, what was that
freaky little hand thing you did?

-Like this?
-Ah!

Oh, I'm down!

[GRUNTING]

Paige.

-I can still orb.
-That was supposed to be my power.

MITZY: Freeze them!
-I don't know how!

Ooh!

You guys gotta see this. There's spells,
potions, charms for everything.

Once we get rid of the Halliwells,
this Book is gonna change our lives.

You guys, my arm's getting sore here.
How about a little relief?

Never takes this long
to scry for a witch.

That's because
they're not witches anymore.

We got their powers.

Excuse me. You got their powers.
I got a big, fat nothing. As usual.

Margo, please.
Ease off the resentment pedal there.

You're dragging me down.

Oh, this is great: vanquishing tips
on all of our competition.

Paige orbed.
How could she still do that?

We cast a spell
to call the witches' power.

Paige's orbing must come
from her whitelighter side.

Well, then, let's call for her
whitelighter's power.

Well, then, let's call for her
whitelighter's power.

-Because I wanna orb!
-Yo, Margo. Get over it already.

Your negativity
is giving me a migraine.

You think it's bad now? Just keep
flaunting that empath power at me.

I'll start hating on you for real.

-Hey, we're in here!
-We made the Book of Shadows?

-Ooh.
-What, no picture?

MARGO:
Just a paragraph.

A really, really tiny paragraph.

"The Stillman sisters:
Mabel, Mitzy, Margo."

Common witches known
for their small-time hustles and cons.

Not worth vanquishing.

"If they become a nuisance,
try a simple spell to bind their magic."

Oh.

Well, at least we got an entry.

Yeah, but look
at what they think of us.

Common witches,
not worth vanquishing?

Is that right? Well, check what
these common witches just did.

We're standing in the home of the
Charmed Ones. We got their powers.

We got their Book, and we got...

...blond, multi-tonal hair.
Who's the nuisance now?

-We are.
-Oh, yeah.

So let's use all these powers
and find the Halliwells.

We cannot rest until they're dead.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Phoebe's boyfriend.
She had dinner plans with him tonight.

Go. Margo and I will work on spells.

Wait, what?
Why does she get to go on a date?

We have to keep up pretenses.

If Leo or Chris
find that we're impostors,

they're gonna send the entire
magical community after those girls.

And then we'll never find them. Go.

I felt that, Miss Blackheart.

Let's get to work.

Okay.

Okay.

Let's see what we got here.

This... You all right?

-Yeah.
-You sure?

Oh, it's really bad.
It's really, really bad.

Okay, just do what you can.

We have to get back
to the manor fast, for Wyatt.

They're not gonna hurt Wyatt.
They won't risk exposure.

Not while we're still alive.

PAIGE:
How are we gonna stay alive?

How are we gonna fight
without our powers?

-At least you could still orb.
-I wish you could orb to Leo.

I'd give anything for one
of his unwanted visits right... Ow!

Piper, we should
get you to the doctor.

-No.
-Why?

The same reason we paid cash for this
room: because without picture IDs,

we got no credit cards, we got
nothing. It's like we don't exist.

Everyone thinks we're
these trashy blonds.

I do have to hand it to them, though.

They've taken identity theft
to a whole new level.

What about Chris?

What if we get him in the same room
with the blond ones?

Then we can prove to him
they're fakes.

How? He can't hear our call. Going in
the manor right now would be suicide.

Wait a minute. I have an idea.

Maybe we can find some
magical creatures to help us,

like fairies or muses.
What do you think?

We won't be able to see them.
We're not witches anymore.

You're not, you can't see them,
but I'm still half whitelighter.

And I actually happen to know

where a couple of handy-dandy
gremlins like to hang out.

You mean
the fruit-packer-killing variety?

No, no, no.
This could actually work.

Gremlins are fast, right?
They can move between realms.

They could actually
help us find Chris.

-What if they say no?
-Well, if they say no,

then I'll just have to threaten their
little butts with my vanquishing gel.

Okay, Paige, you orb to
the plant and find those gremlins.

Chris has gotta be back
at the manor by midnight.

-Piper, stay here where you're safe.
-Where are you going?

I'm going to hand out
a personal invitation.

[GASPS]

Hey, now!
Who did you knock off for this?

Oh, it's nothing. There's so much
that I want for us, Phoebe...

How many carats are these?

Miss, could we have
a wine menu here, please?

Sure.

Hey.

Wow. You just earned yourself
a big, fat thank-you.

Oops. Better get that.

Phoebe, what are you
doing under the...? Whoa.

My wife was wondering
if you have any champagne.

How dare she.

I only drink it on special occasions.
This is our 42nd wedding anniversary.

You slut!

Can I...? Can I talk to you, Phoebe?
Up here, where I can see your face?

Huh?

Today you said you wanted to talk.

And now you're groping me
under the table. What's going on?

Well, if you didn't interrupt me,
you would have figured it out.

Look, Phoebe, maybe
you got the wrong guy here.

Because this isn't what I'm about.

Really?

Do you really mean that?

Who are you?

She's nobody, baby.
Let me take care of this.

Listen, sweetie, I...

[GRUNTS]

Lady, what the hell's going on here?

I'm so sorry, I thought she was
someone else. I'm sorry. Sorry.

Hey, little blue fellas!
Come on out, I won't hurt you.

[HUMMING]

Hey, will you slow down
for a second?

I have an offer
I'd like to discuss with you.

[CHAIN WHIRRING]

[GRUNTING]

What's it gonna be?

[MOANING]

LEO:
Piper?

What are you doing?

Isn't it obvious?

Yeah.

But in front of our son?

The lights are off.

I think I'd better go, Piper.
I'll see you tomorrow at work.

No. Wait.

Oh, man.

Look what you did. Aren't we,
like, divorced or something?

What are you doing here?

I told you, sometimes I visit Wyatt
in the nursery to hold him.

It's the only chance
I get to spend any time with him.

You know what? You're right.
I'm a terrible mother.

I don't deserve our son,
you should take him.

Careful, I just might.

Great, it's settled. He's yours.

Piper, what's the matter with you?
You're not acting like yourself.

I'm sorry, Leo.

I just think I'm just postpartum.

I've just been
so tired and overworked.

It would really help out if you could
take Wyatt off my hands for a while.

Please?

Don't worry about the bartender.
We've got bigger fish to fry.

[BELLS TOLLING]

Okay, if the gremlins found Chris,
he should be here by now.

Well, he'd better hurry.

Okay, this is not good.

PIPER:
Okay.

You Charmed Ones
think you're so clever.

Surprised to see us?
I got my first premonition tonight.

I know you did, you genius.
I planted it to lead you here.

Oh.

Well, from where I'm standing,
that seems like a stupid thing to do.

And I know a lot about stupid things.

Yeah, see, she's got us there.

You wouldn't happen to know
any gremlins, would you?

-It's about time.
PHOEBE: Chris, thank God.

Look at them, they're impostors.
They stole...

Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down.
Who are you?

They're witches. They're the ones
that killed that guy across the street.

No, Chris, she's lying.
Remember this morning,

you said something
was gonna happen to the Book?

This is it, it's happening now.

Enough of this. Piper, blast them!

How do you know
what I said to Piper?

Because she is Piper.
And I'm Paige, and this is Phoebe,

and they cast an identity spell to make
the entire world think they're us.

That's ridiculous. Everyone knows
the Charmed Ones are blond.

If you're Piper, then show
me your powers. Blast me.

I can't. You stole them.

Okay, so we stole
your identities and your powers.

Wow, we must be good.

-Worth more than a paragraph.
-Oh, yeah.

It's time to take care of
you witches and your delusions.

Wait! Wait.

I can prove
that we're telling the truth.

I can still orb, I'm half whitelighter.

Okay. Go for it.

PAIGE:
Okay.

What do you think
of my anti-orb spell?

Oh, you...!

Go ahead, Piper, blast away.

[SCREAMS]

She missed, Chris. When have
you ever known Piper to miss?

Even I'm entitled to a bad day.

Come on, try again.

Chris, a little help here?

PIPER: Oh, you know what,
she's getting angry.

And our powers don't work so good
when we're angry.

-We got them now.
-Yeah, you got us now,

so why don't you blow us up.

Piper, death bad, life good.

Don't worry, this bimbo couldn't hit
the broad side of a beauty parlor.

-Check out that dye job.
[GASPING]

How dare you!

ALL:
Oh!

Run.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God,
we need weapons.

-Demon leftovers!
-Okay.

-Oh, Piper, Piper, for you.
-I got it.

-Okay, ready?
-Yes.

-Okay, ready?
-Yes.

PIPER: Now!
-Ah!

Oh. So that's how it works.

Uh, could we, like,
not stand here right now?

Now what?

Now we kill them.

You did it. Nice work, babe.

This is not fair!

First I get ripped off
in the power department.

Then you bag the bartender and the
boyfriend lays diamonds on you.

-That whitelighter belongs to me.
MITZY: Oh, my head!

You know, you really need
to learn how to control your emotions.

I can't help it that Chris chose me.

Did you sleep with him?

-No.
-Yes.

You did what? I gave you a direct
order. That whitelighter was off-limits!

You know what? I am sick and tired
of your orders. We both are.

Stay out of my feelings.

Oh, are those your feelings?

Hell, yes, those are my feelings.
You boss us around like we're idiots.

[GASPS]
What? She thinks we are idiots.

-I didn't say that.
-I bet she felt it.

-My little empath feels everything.
-He's right. You despise us.

In fact, until I became an empath,
I never realized how you truly hate us.

You know what? Come on, baby,
let's go. Who needs them?

You're not going anywhere.

We gotta stick together
or our plan falls apart.

-See? There you go, bossing again.
-Mm-hm.

Just let the little chippy run off,
if that's what she wants.

Don't call me a chippy!

Don't push me!

Oh! Just shut up!

MITZY:
Uh-oh.

[GRUNTING]

You should be able
to handle these women now.

[GRUNTING]

Not the nose, please.

I think you have
something that's mine.

Sure, it's yours.
Anything you want.

Thank you.

Oh!

I take it this was all your doing.

You're the one who got me here.

How did you know they weren't us?

Well, in all my life, I've never
seen you take the bait

the way that witch took it from you.

In all your life? You've only been
our whitelighter for two months.

Let's just reverse the magic.

"Powers of the witches, rise
Course unseen across the skies

Come to us, who call you near
Come to us and settle here"

[LEO BABY TALKING]

So we binded their powers
and handed them over to Morris.

There's enough evidence across
the street to book them for murder.

And if that doesn't stick,
they're wanted in eight other states.

Looks like you two had a good time.

Yeah. He loved
all the clouds up there.

I bet.

[BEEPING]

Well, he just finished a bottle.
He's probably ready for a nap.

I should get going.

Leo, wait.

Don't go too far away
from Wyatt, okay?

I mean, feel free to sneak in
and hold him any time I'm not around.

Thanks.

[CHRIS CLEARS THROAT]

Leo, can I talk to you for a second?

See you, buddy.

There's a rumor
floating around up there

that you got a lead on whoever
scattered your orbs.

Yeah, I know. I floated it.

You did?

Why?

To draw out the guilty party.

-Did it work?
-You tell me.

So far, you're the only one
to come forward with any questions.

It's an interesting experiment. When
you find out who did it, let me know.

Oh, I already know who did it, Chris.

And when I get enough proof
to expose him...

...you'll be the first one to know.

I don't know why I keep running
into magic, but thanks to you two,

I have my identity back
and the fruit packers are unionized.

So for now, I'm just gonna go with it.

However, you two
can't hurt people anymore.

That's why I brought you here,

so you can tinker away
to your heart's content.

Well, have at it, little blue dudes.

[CLATTERING]

[KNOCKING]

-Hi.
-Hi.

Can we talk?

-About?
-Us.

I thought we tried that earlier.

I was kind of hoping
we could forget about that.

Okay.

-You're still mad.
-No, no, actually, I'm confused.

I swear, every time I see you, I never
know which Phoebe I'm gonna get.

-You either wanna talk or you want...
-Yeah.

I know.

But I don't know
how to act around you either.

You know, you fly in for a few days,

and we're supposed to squeeze
everything that we're feeling

for each other
in those few days, and it's just...

It's just really hard.

I know.

And that's why I wanted
to go to dinner, you know.

Just so we could talk.

Figure out how we feel
about each other.

How's your nose?

My nose?

Oh, yeah, my nose.

It's pretty good.

I'm a fast healer.

Well, I should probably
let you get back to work, huh?

What are you doing right now?

Trying to make a classy exit.

You wanna go to a classy lunch?

We'll just...

We'll talk.

I'd love to.

-Jason.
-Yeah.

Thanks for my diamonds.