Charmed (1998–2006): Season 5, Episode 9 - Sam I Am - full transcript

You're mad. I'm late, I know.

Oh, God, no, not at all.
Don't worry about it...

Good, because I'd hate to spend
the weekend in Big Sur arguing.

- What?
- You and me. Driving down the coast.

Radio on, top down.

All you have to do is say yes.

That sounds really great, but...

But that's not a "yes."

It's just that this isn't
really going to work.

Okay, we could reschedule.

Not the weekend, us.



I'm really sorry.

Yeah, me too.

Oh, there he goes.

I really thought that one
was a keeper.

Why? Because he was
cute and funny

and oh, yeah, don't let me
forget, deliciously yummy?

That's the second guy
in a row she's dumped.

Third. But who's counting?

So do you think she has
commitment issues

or do you think she's
just too picky?

I don't know. I'd love to speculate,
but I gotta go.

Piper, if you haven't noticed, The
Flaming Lips are playing at your club.

My... My favourite group.

I know, that's why you're not gonna
scare them when you go backstage.



- Okay?
- Okay.

I gotta go home because I gotta
interview magical nannies tomorrow

- and I gotta prepare.
- Wait, magical nannies?

You mean like Mary Poppins?

One could only hope, but no.

Leo has arranged for us to
meet supernatural creatures

that have child-care experience.

- Creatures?
- And it's not like I can call a service

and ask for a nanny to watch over
my little Charmed One

while I go off and
slay slimy demons.

That's a good point.
But don't you think it's a little early

for you to be looking for nannies?
You're not even showing yet.

- Except for your boobies.
- I'm telling you, they are large

and they are definitely in charge.

But at least something is normal about
this pregnancy. Okay, I'll see you.

I just... Can... Can l...?

- Breaking up is such a downer.
- Yeah, honey,

well, practice makes perfect.

Well, you know,
I mean if it's not right, it's not right.

Why wasn't it right?

I don't know, I could just kind of tell
it wasn't really going anywhere

so I thought I'm gonna
cut this one off at the pass

before it gets messy
and he likes me too much.

Okay. If you say so.

At least you don't have to worry
about if he's gonna attack again.

- Is that some sort of Cole segue?
- Well, now that you mention him...

...he hasn't contacted me in a while.

That's a good thing, right?

Yeah, it is for me. I'm just worried
about the rest of humanity, you know.

Cole doesn't just do nothing,
which means he's up to something.

And now that he knows that
we're definitely not together anymore,

I'm afraid that "something"
might be evil.

Get out of the way!

Where do you think you're going?

You're not going anywhere.
Get down!

Nobody move! Everybody get
their hands where I can see them!

Let's go!

All your valuables, all your money!
Hurry up! Watches, wallets...

Come on, nothing's changed.
Give me the money! Hurry up!

Hey, what's going on here?

We've been waiting
for this moment, Cole.

Yes, welcome.

Hey, lady! I'm trying to make
a good impression here.

Put it down, put it down,
put it down!

On the nannies?

Yeah, I want the best.
And the best don't work for slobs.

- We are not slobs.
- Oh, really?

How come I spent all night cleaning
potion stains off of the ceiling?

That's gazpacho, not potion.

Well, you know what,
blenders have lids.

Piper, you need to relax, okay?

I will relax when Leo gets here.
We haven't had a chance to prepare.

What's to prepare? You're a Charmed
One, your reputation precedes you.

Oh, you mean how evil barges in here
all hours of the day and night

hell-bent on killing us? Not exactly
an ideal working environment.

Oh, finally! I was afraid
that the Elders drummed up

one of their last-minute
"it can't wait" assignments.

- Can't it wait?
- No, it can't wait.

But it's not for me, it's for Paige.
You're getting your first charge.

Are you serious?

Well, the Elders aren't exactly
known for their sense of humour.

That is so great! I am now Paige
Matthews, whitelighter-witch.

- I'm a hyphenate.
- Wait a minute.

Since when are you psyched
about whitelighter duty?

Well, it is half of who I am.

Who's my charge gonna be?
Is it a whitelighter-to-be?

A philanthropist? A doctor?

- Not exactly.
- Oh, wait, don't tell me.

It's a young girl. A witch.

She's just coming into her powers.
Oh, my God, I can totally relate to that.

You ramble when you're excited.

- Sorry.
- All I can tell you about your charge

is that he is a good man
who's lost his way.

- And why is that all you can tell her?
- Because the Elders want Paige

to figure the rest out for herself.

Yeah, see, you're being vague.

Your charge's name is Samuel.

Samuel.

Good, strong, biblical name.
Okay, where do I find him?

The Elders aren't sure.

But they think that you should
be able to sense his location.

So wait a minute.

If the Elders have
lost track of him,

why do they suddenly think
Paige can find him?

Well, the Elders have complete
faith in Paige's abilities. So do I.

All we have to do is trust
that they know what they're doing.

How are you supposed to trust people
that don't answer your questions?

Okay, enough, Negative Nancy.
You just scurry back to your tidying.

I don't want anybody to rain
on my whitelighter parade.

Paige? Piper?

Hey.

- What is it?
- We have a demon to vanquish.

Paige, what did you do
with the vanquishing potion

- that you made for Cole?
- Cole?

- I tossed it.
- You tossed it?

Yeah, it wasn't strong enough.
I tried it on that letter opener

that had Cole's blood on it,
but it barely even dented it.

Well, you have to figure out
a way to make another one

that's strong enough, and fast.

Hang on a second, lady.
What are you talking about?

Last night, two guys held up
a bar and a vigilante killed them.

Sounds more like you need
an arrest warrant, not a potion.

Not when the vigilante is tall,
dark and handsome

and can send people flying
with the wave of a hand.

That doesn't mean it's Cole.

Did I forget to mention
the scorch marks?

- That means it's Cole.
- Why don't you...?

Let me handle this. Phoebe,
being that I'm also a whitelighter,

I just want to warn you that maybe
you shouldn't jump to conclusions

and you should have
all the facts before you act.

Actually, you're right.

- I am good at this.
- But you better start working

on the potion. Because if I'm right
about Cole, our truce with him is over.

I told you last night, leave me alone.

Last night, you crossed the line.
The power inside you has grown.

You have nowhere else to turn,
except to us.

I won't turn evil.

Good and evil are such
useless categories.

Endlessly embattled,
neither side ever winning.

Gets rather boring, don't you think?

Then what are you?

The Avatars.

Avatars of what?

Force and power.

And we don't have to limit ourselves
to choosing between good and evil.

We can drive them both.

What's that got to do with me?

We are only a few.

But we are preparing to wield
a power, the likes of which

this world has never seen.

And we want you to be a part of it.

Let me make myself clear.

I want nothing to do with you.

You can't fight us, Cole.

It is futile to try.

Sooner or later, you will join us.

It is...

...inevitable.

Back to your old self again, huh?

Get out of here.

Did you kill two people last night?

I don't have time for this.

Well, you better make time for this.

I can't be good, I won't be evil.
What do you want from me?

I want an answer.

Yes. I killed those two criminals.

And you want to know something
else? It was easy. It felt very natural.

Is that what you wanted to hear?

You just don't get it, do you?

They weren't only two criminals.
They were two human beings, Cole.

Spare me the judgmental crap.

You have no idea what
I'm going through right now.

No, I don't, and I don't want to know.

Then why are you still here?

I'm here to warn you.

If you kill another person,
good or evil...

...I will vanquish you.

You really think you have
the power to vanquish me?

Try me.

I might just do that.

If this is where I was supposed
to find my charge,

you might have told me
not to wear my Jimmy Choos.

Jimmy who?

My shoes?

Men.

So I'm guessing my "wealthy
philanthropist" theory was wrong.

I told you he was a lost
soul and needed saving.

Yeah, this definitely looks like a place
where lost souls would hang out.

Probably also some rats,
some roaches...

...and human waste.

- At least my cover will work.
- Cover?

Social worker. Well, I have to tell
Samuel something.

Well, in this case, I don't think
you're gonna need a cover.

- In this case?
- Well, every case is different.

Piper's right, you are being evasive.

- I feel something. I think he's close.
- You're sensing him?

No, it's more like a magnetic pull.

- Stay out!
- Good luck.

- Where are you going?
- Nanny interviews.

Oh, great. This is just great.

You're strong. For a girl.

Thanks. I think.

Well, here we are.
Home sweet home.

It's a dump.

No.

It's...

..."shabby chic."

It's a shabby dump.

Well, how about some coffee?

How about you leave me alone?

Maybe you just want to talk.
You know, I'm a really good listener.

What part of "alone"
don't you understand?

Okay.

Maybe some other time.

But if you need help, of any variety,

just call this number,
and I'll be there.

Okay? I'll be right there to help you.

I can't believe the Elders
finally tracked me down,

with a novice, no less.

Wait a second, you know?

A little advice:
You need to work up a cover.

Didn't you read
the whitelighter manual?

There's a manual?

I can't believe the Elders sent
a newbie out after me.

Well, I can't believe
the Elders saddled me

with a cranky old drunk
as my first charge.

You've got spunk, I like that.
Now go away.

No, I will not go away.

I may be new at this, but I was
sent here to guide and protect you

and that is exactly what I am
going to do. Like it or not.

No!

- Duck!
- Sorry, I don't cook.

Cooking, that's a no. Okay, got it.

And only light housecleaning.

Oh, that's okay,
because Piper's a neat freak.

If you don't mind,
I have a few questions of my own.

Oh, of course you do.
Well, yeah, please.

Am I expected to protect the baby
from the incessant demon attacks?

I'd say "incessant" is a bit
of an overstatement.

You are a Charmed One, correct?

Yes, but that won't affect
your job here.

- Won't it?
- No, honey, it won't.

Whitelighters,
they're such pessimists.

Demons, you see, demons rarely
attack us in the house so...

- Darklighter, incoming!
- This is highly unusual.

Samuel!

Consider my application withdrawn.

- Damn it!
- Don't touch it!

It's poisonous to you too.

Is that who I think it is?

- Mom's whitelighter.
- And Paige's father.

It's okay, you're gonna be okay.

This can't be happening.
I can't be losing my first charge.

You're not. Everyone with
whitelighter blood, back up.

Leo, I can't believe you didn't tell me

- he was a whitelighter.
- Paige, just try and stay calm.

Calm? The Elders sent me
to protect someone

- without telling me who he was.
- I'd say that's a bit

of an understatement.

Is there something else
I should know?

Okay.

Paige, go get the Book of Shadows.

Why, we know it was a darklighter.

No, there was something
different about that guy.

You just go get the book.

Fine.

You all right?

- I'm still alive, aren't I?
- Long time no see.

Piper. Phoebe. How you been?

Last time we saw you, you were riding
into the afterlife with our mother.

What happened?

They made me a whitelighter again.

And I screwed up, again.

I guess I never got over...

Losing your daughter?

Yeah, that's the one.

I've gotta get out of here.

Don't. She's your whitelighter
for a reason.

- The Elders are trying to help you.
- By reuniting me with the child

they forced me to give up?

You knew about this supernatural
Jenny Jones reunion, didn't you?

I was sworn to secrecy.

It doesn't matter.

No, hey, wait a minute.

Aren't you forgetting someone?

Like that girl upstairs
that's trying to save your life?

- She's better off without me.
- This isn't right.

I'll tell you what's not right.

The Elders setting me up.

You forced them to.

When you stopped
using your powers,

you fell off the radar. They had to
find you through a blood relative.

I never wanted to be found.
Least of all by her.

Don't you think she at least
deserves to know the truth?

The truth?

That her birth father, the whitelighter,
is a two-time loser and a drunk?

She doesn't need to know that.

Where's Samuel?

He... He orbed out.

What, you just let him?

We couldn't stop him.
Did you find anything in the book?

No.

Well, we're pretty sure
that he's a tracker.

They're stronger
and more powerful

than the darklighters
you've dealt with.

And they go after fallen whitelighters,
especially those who

are a step away
from losing their wings.

Okay, if you knew all that,
why did you send me for the book?

Because I didn't know that.

Sorry. So we're gonna need
a vanquishing potion.

Why don't you two get started on
that and Leo and I will go find Sam.

Well, wait a second, he's my charge.
I'm gonna go look for him.

Well, he's been orbing a lot longer
than you have. You might lose him.

I have a better chance
of finding him than you do.

So here, we're gonna go.
We're going.

Get up. What's wrong?

Lose your hearing along
with your arm? I said get up.

I can't!

Stop feeling sorry for yourself.

You're not the only one
with problems.

What do you want?

A way out. And you're it.

You are gonna help me
destroy the Charmed Ones.

I'm not going anywhere near them.

Well, look at it as...

...payback.

Okay, now you know
where I'm from.

I'm gonna tell you what I want.
First, we go after the witches.

Then we get that decrepit
whitelighter you're looking for.

- I want that whitelighter dead now.
- Patience.

One of the witches
is his long-lost kid.

Kill her, and he'll be begging to die.

Well, what now?

Well, you're gonna need
some extra firepower,

and I'm gonna give it to you.

What do you get out of this?

Let's just say I'm looking
for a showdown.

Thought you lost us, did you?

We knew you'd be back
sooner or later.

What is with you people?
Can't you take a hint?

We need to talk.

I don't want to talk,
I want to be left alone.

Why else do you think
I've been orbing all over creation?

Well, chickening out comes to mind.

Sam, I know it hurts.

Oh, you know? How?
How can you?

L... I know loss.

The hubris of a whitelighter,
thinking we know everything

just because of who we are.
Well, that is crap!

Now, you got a point there.
So why don't you help us understand.

You want to understand, do you?

Well, you hold that precious
little baby of yours in your arms...

...and you love her more than
you ever loved anything in the world...

...and then you give her to someone
else to raise and grow up with.

You and Mom did
that to protect Paige.

Didn't work, did it?

As soon as she found out who
she was, a witch, a Charmed...

It was just a matter of
time until I lost her again.

And I couldn't handle that!

Look, it doesn't matter.

Just leave, please.

Pretend you never found me!

It does matter, Sam.

The darklighter is not gonna
stop until he kills you.

Maybe that's my destiny.
Do you ever think of that?

Come on, that is a cop-out
and you know it!

You really think the Elders brought
you and Paige together

so she could watch you die?

Look at you.

Of all people, defending the Elders.

Hey, they may not be
on my Christmas list,

but that doesn't mean they don't
usually have a good reason

for doing the things that they do.

Like telling you
you couldn't marry Leo?

I said usually.

Look, if you don't want
our help, that's fine.

But maybe this isn't about you.
Maybe this is about helping Paige.

Helping Paige.

With what?

Knowing where she
comes from, for starters.

So you don't know him at all?

You know, we run into a lot
of people in our line of work.

Okay, once again, not an answer.

Can you pass me the
cardamom, please?

Okay, I'm just gonna
take a guess now.

Let's see, maybe the
Elders gave him to me

because he's a lost cause that
they couldn't pawn off on anyone else.

- Toadflax.
- Just tell me if I'm hot or cold.

Okay. Maybe the Elders thought
you would actually learn something

from working with him.

Like what, how to give up?

No, I think you pretty
much got that down.

Okay, passive-aggressive,
what does that mean?

Come on, Paige, you know
you're pretty quick to judge people.

- Like who?
- Trevor.

Okay, Trevor is an orange,
my charge would be an apple.

I fail to see the connection.

Okay, take my word for it.

You need to give Samuel another
chance. It's important, for you both.

Okay, enough with the cryptic.

Tell me what you know and please,
don't change the subject.

Okay.

- You really want to know?
- Yeah.

Sam was...

...Mom's whitelighter.

That would make him...

Your biological father.

Oh, honey, are you okay?

Great, I'm just great.

I just don't quite see
why the big secret.

Why couldn't anybody tell me?

I should have told you.

I'm sorry.

I was hoping we could talk.

Go ahead, honey,
I'll finish the potion.

Yeah, we can talk.

I'm here for you if you need me.

You hate me, don't you?

Why should I?
You're a stranger to me.

That's a perfectly fair statement.

Spoken like a true whitelighter.

But not a father.

I had a father.

One who made me proud to be
his daughter. And it's not you.

I haven't made you
very proud, have I?

No offence, but I don't know you.

And I actually haven't spent

a lot of time over the years
thinking about you.

Well, maybe you should.

After all, I'm the one
that gave you up at birth.

That has to have caused
you some pain.

Hey, nice job, you guys.

- What do you mean?
- Sam's in there talking to Paige.

- What?
- That's impossible.

Sam refused to come back.

You can pretend all you want
that it hasn't affected you.

But we both know better than that.

How would you know? Who the
hell do you think you are anyway?

- Paige.
- That's not Sam.

- What are you talking about?
- She's talking about this.

You son of a bitch.

Wait, it gets better, all right? Ronan!

- What happened?
- He's immune.

Not to this.

Let's go.

You can't stop the bleeding,
can you?

Just try and rest.

- How's Leo doing?
- He's been better.

I can't believe Cole would go this far.

Yeah, and why now,
what's the occasion?

Because he's pure evil.

Yeah, but it's just not smart.
And good or evil, Cole is usually smart.

Well, he's obviously lost his mind.

I mean, he killed two people
yesterday in public.

I've been thinking about
the vanquishing potion.

Maybe if you mixed three
different ones...

No, you're gonna be able
to make the vanquishing potion

just as soon as we figure
out a way to heal you.

We gotta find Sam.
He's our only chance.

So now I'm screwed.

Don't think like that.

Why? Sam bails, that's what he does.
This time won't be any different.

It's different because now
you're the one that's hurt.

So you gotta find him. And I'll go
get him and bring him back here

and Phoebe will stay
with you and Leo.

You can't go alone.

No, I'm not alone.

Apparently the baby here
prefers Mommy to be indestructible.

That's a good point. You go.

It's up to you, you gotta sense him.
Concentrate.

I wouldn't do that if I were you.

What are you doing here?

Protecting him from you.

I kept up my end of the bargain.
You said I could have him.

This isn't about you. Or about him,
for that matter. It's about me.

What difference does it make to you
whether the whitelighter lives or dies?

I need him alive, so he can heal
the witch and their whitelighter.

Heal them?

You wanted me to help you kill them.

Because I want them
to come after me.

You kill Sam, they'll come
after you and I can't have that.

You never had any intentions
of letting me kill him, did you?

Walk away, Ronan.

Why? So you can shoot
me in the back?

You're smarter than I thought.

Sam.

Sam. Sam, wake up.

No, leave me alone!

Listen to me.
Paige and Leo need you.

The darklighter shot them.
You need to heal them.

I don't know, it's been so long.

Well, there's no one else.

You have to do it.

Look, if you think you've
screwed up in the past,

now would be a good time
to start making amends.

He'll be here soon.

He will, just hang on.

Oh, God.

- What's the problem?
- I can't.

What? Try again.

It's no use. This is my punishment.

No, you will not sit there
and drown in self-pity

while Paige and
my husband die.

Don't you think I want to save them?
For God's sake, this is my daughter.

You can't heal her
because you gave up.

Everything I touch, I hurt.

All I wanted was a life for her,
free from magic and demons.

No, it was not. Paige saved us.

She's the reason
I am still standing here.

She brought this
family back together.

She's done so much good.

All the pain and anger that you've
been holding on for so many years,

you've got to let it go.
It's time to let it go.

Paige, I am so sorry.

It's okay.

What happened?

I think you just healed yourself.
Now Paige.

Thank you.

Okay. Thanks, later. Leo, now.

Piper, you okay?

The baby?

Oh, she's fine. I don't think
we have to worry about her at all.

I'll explain later.

I'm gonna go get started on those
potions. We have a Cole to vanquish.

So you think this is gonna work?

These are at least as strong
as the ones we used on The Source,

- so yeah, I think.
- But you can't be sure?

I can't be sure of anything
until I try it.

- That's not good enough.
- Phoebe...

I want him dead. I want this over with.
And if this doesn't work,

we may not get a second chance.

Got it. Kill him, dead.

Dead.

I have a thought.

No other potion has
been able to destroy this

since Cole's blood
has been protecting it,

but if these potions are
as strong as I think they are

then a little will go a long way.

On three?

No. Me, then you, then Phoebe.

Are you sure you want to do this?

How can you even
ask me that question?

If this doesn't work,
you'll have nowhere else to turn.

It'll work.

But what a waste. Especially when
you could have so much more.

I don't want any more.

You're not even curious?

Stand up.

I said stand up.

Come to vanquish me, have you?

- Where's your hit man?
- Oh, you know those darklighters,

they're just so difficult to work with.

Can't even kill a lousy whitelighter,
let alone you.

But you could have.

Bastard.

Phoebe, come on.

- I know what you're doing.
- Phoebe, throw the potion.

You never really wanted to kill us,
did you?

- What are you talking about?
- He could have killed you

back at the manor.
He had you alone.

But you needed all of us to survive
for your plan to work, including Sam.

- Phoebe, have you lost your mind?
- No, you said it yourself.

It wasn't a smart plan.
Unless you didn't really want to kill us.

You wanted us to be
so blinded by hate

that we couldn't see
what you were really up to.

Well, that's the only way out for me.

And you want it too, so...

Yeah, but on our terms, not yours.

We won't help you commit suicide.

You already have.

Oh, my God.

I don't understand.
That should have worked.

Then why didn't it?

They knew it wouldn't work.

Who knew?
What are you talking about?

You can't vanquish me.

Nobody can.

So...

...what are you gonna do now?
I mean, about Cole.

I don't know. It's a little scary, being
that he's basically indestructible now.

Well, I'm sure you girls will handle it.

Paige.

I want you to know
that giving you up

was the hardest decision
I ever had to make.

Your mother too.

If we could have done it over, we...

We wouldn't have done it.

But we weren't
supposed to be together.

A baby. We were afraid
the Elders would find out.

It's okay.

I understand, I really... I do.

It still has to have hurt you.

I used to think that you
did not matter to me at all.

That if I never met you...

...my life would be perfectly fine.

I guess...

...the Elders knew better after all.

When you gave me up,
you made a choice

that gave me the most amazing gift.

You see, I got to have
these tremendous parents,

and we... We loved
each other fiercely.

But now I have
this whole new life...

...with my sisters.

What about everything
that goes with it?

I choose to be a witch.

I could have walked away.

But I didn't.

And now I'm a whitelighter, to boot.

That's my girl.

- Any luck?
- Yeah, that little elf? Got a big mouth.

All the nannies
cancelled their interviews.

Oh, great. Well, if magical
nannies won't work for us,

and regular ones are out of the
question, then what are we gonna do?

Well, it's a good thing we have
a few months. We'll figure it out.

Hey, how did it go?

Good. Difficult, but good.

He's a good man.
It'll be good for you guys

- to get to know each other.
- I think I'm a little burnt out

on the whole "emotional
roller coaster" thing right now.

Maybe I deserve a nice drive down
the coast. I think I'll call Trevor.

Oh, that guy. Yeah, that guy
that you just dumped.

Well, maybe I'll also rethink that
whole "dumping perfectly nice guys

before I give them a chance" thing.

I guess meeting Sam made me
realize I kind of still have

some abandonment issues
I might want to work through.

Anything from you over there
in the peanut gallery?

I'm sorry, I'm just freaking out.

Having an invincible ex-husband
is making me really nervous.

Well, the good thing is we've got
someone invincible of our own.

I got you covered.

For now.