Charmed (1998–2006): Season 5, Episode 10 - Y Tu Mummy También - full transcript

The crystal. Where's the crystal?

- It's over there.
- Where?

In the cabinet.

Got it.

Isis.

Isis.

Don't die on me, not yet.

Not until we can
find you another body.

Call upon the witch within.
Use her powers.

I don't have the strength.

Find the strength.



It's the only way.

Okay.

I found one.

Good. Can you tell?

Is she powerful enough
to hold your spirit?

I don't know.

Until we meet again, my love,

Like moths to a flame.

Remember, nobody's taken him yet.
So watch your backs, follow my lead.

Any questions?

Let's go.

Police, freeze!

Clear in the bathroom.

All clear in the bedroom.



Everything is locked from the inside.

How did he get out of here?

You don't want to know.

Phoebe Halliwell, please.
Tell her it's Inspector Morris.

It's important.

Piper, my hair is turning white.
Come out, already.

- No.
- Come on, it can't be that bad.

Oh, it's cute.

I don't want to be cute.

I can't believe
I let you talk me into this.

Your pants weren't even
buttoning any more, come on.

Well, I could have gone up
a size or two.

I don't need to resort to
maternity clothes.

Everything is just so bright
and cheery and "ruffley."

This thing makes me look like a--

Adorable. Absolutely adorable.

I think it's you.

I guess you don't know me
very well, do you?

Piper.

Look, do you have anything
that would go with combat boots?

You know,
something for the mom-to-be

who kicks some ass upon occasion?

You know, something in black

or gray?

I'll check.

Oh, motherhood.

Okay,
explain to me the touching thing.

Why is my stomach
suddenly public property

and perfect strangers
are always touching me?

It's weird space invasion.

- Are you listening?
- No, I'm not.

What's the matter?

It's this cramp.
I've had it for a couple of days.

Why don't you get a massage?

Oh, yeah, I'll pencil that in,
right between vanquishing demons

and training to be your midwife.

No.

Well, A, I don't need midwives
because I'm delivering with a doctor,

not sisters.

And, B, you need to
take care of yourself

because you're working more
than when you were working.

Someone has to pick up the slack,
especially with hermit lady...

- ...just laying around the house.
- The hermit lady?

Yeah, Phoebe. Have you noticed?
She hasn't left the house in weeks.

What do you mean?
She leaves every morning,

No, she leaves the house
to go to work.

I can understand
wanting to take a break from guys,

but come on, already.
She's gonna wear out the batteries.

- Oh, Paige.
- What?

Hello? Oh, hey, Phoebe.

We were just talking about you.

And your batteries.

Darryl's at the house?

Five murders, five cities.

But this is the first one
in San Francisco.

We were hot on his tail following a tip
and then he just vanished.

That's creepy, he's killing his victims
and then mummifying them.

What gives?

That's why I called Phoebe.
I'm hoping you could tell me.

Well, just because it's creepy
doesn't mean it's demonic.

I mean, there's plenty
of human wackos out there.

Stop fidgeting, would you?

- You look fine.
- I look ridiculous.

Phoebe, will you tell her
that she looks fine?

You look so cute.

If you ask me, there's nothing more
beautiful than a preg--

Do it and you pull back
a bloody stub.

She's a little sensitive right now.

- I can see that.
- Okay.

Demons, witches, fill them in,
will you?

I have an important
lunch date at the office.

You have a date?

Oh, well, it's actually more like an
appointment down the hall. It's a facial.

Look, we think-- I think that the victim
may have been a witch.

So if she was, maybe they all were.

Which means
you need to watch your backs.

- Sand, don't forget the sand.
- Right. In each case there's been

a pile of sand
found by the mummy.

My guess is, it's got something
to do with how he escapes.

What's with the bug on the chest?

I already have Leo
asking the elders about that.

If we leave now, I should be able
to go to the crime scene,

get a quick premonition
and be back at the office

in time for my appointment.
So who's driving?

Whoa, who says that you're going
to the crime scene?

Is that a problem?

Only with my reputation.

Look, it's taken me a long time
to lose the freaky-deaky rap.

No offense,
but I don't need it back right now.

Freaky-deaky rap?

You know what I mean.

Why can't you just tell them
we're psychics, like you usually do?

I can't risk it. I'm up for a promotion,

and if I get passed over this time,
there's not gonna be a next time,

All right, what do you want us to do?

The right thing, as usual.

Come on, follow me.

No, not you.

- You're pregnant.
- Yes, I am.

I am also invincible and self-healing.

Can I tell the other inspectors that?

I'm sorry, but not even pregnant cops
are allowed at crime scenes

because of the forensic chemicals.

We'll go, you stay here and look in
the Book of Shadows for mummies.

Mommy.

The linen wrapping,
though curiously airtight,

appears to be of a thread count
more consistent with a hand weave.

After I cut into it, forensics should test
and date the sample.

All right,

let's see what's inside.

Nobody messes with you,
do they, my love?

Sorry for leaving you back there.

But I needed to check
on your next body.

I think you'll learn to like it.

- They're with me.
- No, hold it, inspector.

- They gotta sign in.
- Right.

Sorry.

Phoebe Halliwell.

Paige Matthews.

Field of expertise?

We're psychics.

You got a problem with that, officer?

No, sir.

Psychics.

Your girlfriend's cheating on you,
by the way.

Forensics has been all through here
so you can touch anything you want.

Just make it quick, okay?

I'll be back.

So that guy at the door
was kind of cute, huh?

Really? I hadn't noticed.

God, you've been out of commission
for longer than I thought.

Yeah, she was definitely a witch.
Look at all this stuff.

I guess I can understand, you know,

all the stuff you've been
through with Cole.

Okay, shush,
I'm trying to concentrate here,

But you don't wanna
let it go for too long

because that would be unhealthy
and you are anything but unhealthy.

Paige, don't worry about me,
I'm fine.

You know, it's just, the whole idea
of dating right now, it's just, like...

...you know.
I just-- I need some time.

Well, just don't take too much time.

Look, a map.

She was definitely--

- Scrying?
- Yeah. But the question is for what?

Steal it,

I'm sorry?

I think I know a way
to figure this out at home.

Paige, that's evidence.
I can't steal evidence.

Crystal.

Did you get anything?

No, God, not a thing.
But we'll see you later.

I think you look beautiful,

How long have you
been standing there?

A minute or two.

Well, that's just not fair.
You're not allowed to orb in

unless I'm completely aware of it.

Sorry. I was mesmerized.

Oh, please.

No, I mean it, Piper.

I think you look absolutely stunning

and I can't believe
you don't think you do.

No, it's not that. It's just...

It's like suddenly I'm wearing
this big, fat neon sign that says:

"Look out, everybody,
she's pregnant, be careful."

And everybody's treating me
so differently.

I'm still me. There's just
a whole lot more of me going on.

Hey, guys.
Oh, I'm sorry. Were you ranting?

Yes, I was, but now I'm done,
thank you. Where's Phoebe?

She went back to work.
She didn't want to miss her facial.

- What?
- Relax, she's just an orb away.

- So did you find anything?
- Yeah, the demon, maybe.

His name is Jeric, and apparently
he's been at this for quite some time.

Only back then, the killings were
isolated to the Middle East:

Cairo, Istanbul, Tripoli...

So, what's he doing here?

The same thing he's been doing,

trying to find the perfect body
for his lover, Isis.

He keeps trying to find a body to host
her spirit, but the bodies keep dying.

No, you mean
the witches keep dying.

Right, two spirits
can't occupy the same body.

The invading spirit overloads it.

That's why he's trying to find a witch
with enough magic for Isis to use

to dispossess the host body.

Of course.

Are you telling me she's going to
evict someone from their own body?

That's rude.

Basically, yeah.

Okay, so what do mummies
have to do with any of this?

Well, he mummifies a corpse
to trap Isis' spirit

to keep it from moving on
until he can find a new body.

That must be what she's scrying for.

Scrying secrets come to me
Drop again so I might see

See what?

Fifth and Hyde?

Well, that's Phoebe.

Great body.

Mind if I borrow it for a while?

Yeah, I do.

Phoebe, no.

Anything?

No.

What about you?

- Nothing.
- Well, this is just unacceptable.

We've got all the magic in the
world here, there's gotta be a way.

We cannot not find Phoebe.

Unless...

No, no unless. She's not dead,
she is possessed and that is all.

She's right. Jeric needs her body.

How long can she last
until she burns up?

I don't know. Probably not long.

All the more reason to find her faster.
You keep scrying, you keep sensing.

It's no use, Piper,
Jeric is blocking her signal.

You said if Phoebe was possessed,

she would be aware
of what's going on.

Right, but there's nothing
she can do about it.

The invading spirit
is suppressing her.

- Hello?
- Guess what.

The mummy is missing.

What?

Hold on, I'm gonna put you on
speakerphone. Say that again.

The mummy is missing,
the coroner is dead and I'm screwed.

Why is the mummy missing?

How are you screwed?

They're blaming me for losing him,
which means if I don't find him--

Bye-bye, promotion.

It pales in comparison to a killer
demon being on the loose, I know.

But you know,
it still matters to me and my family.

Yes, well, speaking of family...

...we got a few problems
of our own here.

What's wrong?

I'll catch you up later.

- Piper?
- We need to concentrate on Phoebe.

We can't leave Darryl high and dry

after everything he's done
for this family.

There's gotta be something
we can do.

Short of helping him arrest the demon,
I'm not sure what we can really do.

I have an idea.
But I'd have to break some rules.

So I think you should
break a few rules then.

We owe him.

You're right. You go do
what you gotta do,

and we're gonna do
what we have to do.

Easy.

Not so fast.

Welcome back, my love.

Are you sure
this is such a good idea?

Well, he's found her before,
hasn't he?

Yeah, but Cole is..,

...crazy now.

Damn. Still here.

- Are you okay?
- Yeah, I'm still alive.

For now.

What's the matter, Cole?
Forget you're indestructible?

What the hell
are you guys doing here?

Witnessing a meltdown, apparently.
Ever thought of therapy?

Thanks, I'd rather chop my head off
than have it examined.

Wait, that's an idea.

Oh, my God.

I can't wait to see how I survive this.

Okay, then, good luck with all that,
and we're just gonna go.

No, we gotta find Phoebe.

Did you guys actually want something
or did you come to add to my misery?

A demon has taken Phoebe
and we need you to find her.

Oh, yeah, really? Well.

Sorry, but just in case you forgot,
she's the reason I became like this.

So, ciao.

Wait.

Can't you at least
let me not die in peace?

Cole, we think this guy Jeric
has possessed Phoebe.

Wait.

Did you say Jeric?

- The mummy guy?
- Do you know him?

Are you kidding?
He's legendary in demonic circles.

Oh, of course he is.

Actually, he goes all the way back
to ancient Egypt.

They didn't have the power to vanquish
him so they mummified him instead.

Mummifying...

Hey, stay with us here,

How did Jeric get de-mummified?

Oh, well, some evil witch cast a spell,
which released him

and then they fell in love
and she got killed by his enemies.

Flayed alive, if memory serves.

Poor guy's been racked with guilt.

He's been trying to find a
replacement body ever since.

Oh, it would almost be romantic
if he hadn't killed so many witches,

Hey, he's just a guy
trying to get his love back.

There's nothing wrong with that.

Actually,
we could probably work together.

What are you talking about?

Cole.

Looks like we just made
a bad thing worse.

Glad to see you're feeling so alive.

It's this body.

I've never felt
so much power before.

Passion.

Desire.

Maybe I should leave you two alone.

No. Just because the witch is in me

doesn't mean there's not
still room for you too.

Tempting.

But I suggest
you try to rid yourself of her first.

Can you come up with a spell?

The witch's knowledge
was very useful.

Then by all means, reward her.
Send her spirit into the afterlife.

Hopefully, she'll have enough
power to make it work.

Together no more through time
Expel her soul, leave only mine

Well?

I can still hear her thoughts.

Then you have to try again.

Sorry. But that's my witch.

Oh, please, is that all you got?

By the way, my compliments on the
tomb's protective charms. This place...

...is not easy to get in to.

- Who are you?
- Cole Turner.

I used to be
The Source of All Evil.

You're Jeric, right?

I feel like I already know you.
We've got so much in common.

Do we?

Yeah.

Well, you know,
we're both trying to get our love back.

Unfortunately,
your love is currently in...

...my love and that's where we have
our little problem.

Your love doesn't want you back.

I can feel it.

Yeah, but that's where you come in.

I want you to mummify her for me,
put her on ice for a while.

At least until I can figure out a way
to win her back.

Win her back?

After that?

Please, you're insane.

Probably.

Leave us.

Go back to where you came from.

Well, not until I get what I came for,

Let's not fight. I mean...

...I need you, you need me.
So let's just--

I don't need you.

I'm afraid you do. In case you haven't
noticed, you're running out of time.

Oh, no, it can't be.

The others lasted longer.

Yeah. The more powerful the witch,
the quicker the burnout.

That's really not very good,

But I bet the power of three
could fix that permanently.

The power of three.

That might work.

I can get it for you.

You interested?

We won't give up our body
without a replacement.

I figured.

How do you feel about redheads?

Leo, what are you doing here?

I'm here to help you.

Leo, I don't have time for this.

Somebody said the killer was here.

I know, I made the call.

I figured it'd look good for you
if you caught the guy.

You did?

Where is he?

What are you doing? You can't...

- Go on, arrest me.
- Leo, i-- We are not going to do this.

Come on,
before the other cops get here.

I am not going to arrest you.

What did you do that for?

I'd hit me back if I were you,

I am not going to do this.

What are you doing?

Helping you out.

That is really, really,
not a good thing.

Way to go, inspector.
Good job.

Thanks.

I'm telling you, it's not gonna work.
We already tried it.

You tried it. The baby and I haven't.
If Cole can find her, then so can we.

But you can't just tap into the
baby's powers whenever you want.

No? Watch me.

What's happening?

I don't know.

I guess our map wasn't big enough?

Egypt?

Phoebe is in Egypt?

On the bright side,
we'll get to see the pyramids.

Quips later, orbing now.

You know,
this happened a little too easily.

- What if it's a trap?
- What if it is? I'm unbreakable, dude.

- Dude, I'm not unbreakable.
- You'll be okay. Here, orb faster.

Oh, Phoebe.

Wait, where's Jeric?

Piper.

Paige.

She recognizes us.
That's something, at least.

Well...

...I don't know.

Let's just orb her home,
we'll fix her there.

I told you they'd come for her,
didn't I?

Very nice.

Hey.

Don't fight it, my love.

Your new body awaits.

Hey.

I told you, that's my witch.

Get to work.

Excuse me.

Welcome back, my love.

Leo?

Leo, come on, I need you.

What did you do that for?

Leo, is that you?

Oh, sorry, I forgot.

You forgot?

What are you doing?
And what are you wearing?

This? They gave it to me in jail
when they arrested me.

Well, not me, obviously.
Jeric, or so they think.

I just figured it would help Darryl
get a promotion.

- I can't handle this right now.
- What?

I told you I was gonna
have to break a few rules.

No, no, no, you don't understand.

This is the least of our problems,

which ought to give you an idea
how bad our problems are.

Come on, it can't be that bad.

Unless I'm mistaken,
Cole has teamed up with Jeric

and tricked me into getting
Paige possessed

and Phoebe mummified.

What?

I've had it with this outfit.

What are you gonna do?

What does it look like I'm gonna do?

I meant about Paige and Phoebe.

Well, you're gonna orb me back there
so I can kick some demon ass.

And, honey, you know,
you can change too.

Felon orange
isn't exactly your color.

I should have never gone to Cole
in the first place.

I don't know what I was thinking.

You were thinking about
saving Phoebe.

Yeah, that worked out
really well, didn't it?

The one thing I don't understand
is why Cole sent me back here.

I mean, he could have sent me
to the far reaches of the universe

or worse, but he didn't.

Cole sent you back? From where?

The only thing I can think of is that
he needs me for something.

But what?

Well, whatever it is,

going back there,
wherever there is,

would be exactly
what he wants you to do.

But I'm not gonna leave my sisters
in Egypt with two demonic perverts.

I'm the reason they're in this mess.

I lost Paige because I was trying
to save Phoebe.

Cole would never hurt Phoebe,
you know that.

And he must need Paige
for a reason.

Otherwise, why go through
the trouble to get her?

So, what am I supposed to do?

You're gonna do what you do best.

You're gonna go on the offensive

and you're gonna summon Cole
before he summons you.

Oh, right there.

That's perfect.

Yes, you're rather tense.

It's not me. It's this witch.

She's overworked this body
and she doesn't deserve it.

You'll have to finish
the power of three spell...

- ...if you expect to take it from her.
- I will, in a bit.

You can't put it off any longer.

This witch is as powerful as the last
and she'll burn out just as quickly.

Just a minute more.

Sorry. I think you've relaxed enough.

I don't.

But then again...

...I always have been such a bad girl.

We can be bad later.

Playtime is over, boys and girls.

Do you mind?

- No, I don't.
- Well, I do.

Did I ever tell you, Jeric,

that I have eyes for only one witch?

- How's the spell going?
- I was just about to finish it.

She can't expel the witch's soul
without the power of three.

How are you gonna get it for us?

Look around,
we're only one sister short.

Yes, but your love is a mummy.

- Yeah.
- You can't expect her to read a spell.

Well, she doesn't have to.

If her spirit is trapped inside,
all her sisters have to do is touch her,

to tap into the power.

And what about the third witch?

I doubt she'll read the spell willingly.

Leave it to me.
I can be quite persuasive.

Yes, you better be. Because Isis is the
only one that can bring Phoebe back.

If my love doesn't get what she wants,
yours will stay wrapped up forever.

It's done.
The rhyme is a tad childish

but it should work.

Oh, good. All we need now is--

The witch must have taken him.

Oh, he'll be back.

The important thing is...

...we're alone.

Isis.

Well, I guess I should've
seen this coming.

I want my sisters back now, Cole.

Or what?

You got nothing, Piper,

You can't even vanquish me.

Doesn't mean I won't try.

Okay, if that's the way
you want to play it..,

Impressive.

Wait.

Isis...

...should we be doing this?

It's my body now,

No, I mean, how are you feeling?

I love that you care.

Oh, no.

Isis.

Isis.

Not yet.

Hey, What are you guys doing?

You're both invincible.

This is just pointless.

The man's got a point, Piper.

The sooner we stop this, the sooner
you can save one of your sisters.

What do you mean, one?

I mean that you're gonna
have to choose between them,

and if you don't, they'll both die.

Why? Are you gonna kill them?

No, I'm not gonna do anything.

The cards have already been dealt.

I'm just giving you guys
your options.

You're delusional if you think I'm
gonna choose between my sisters.

Am I? Isis is the only one
who knows how to revive Phoebe.

She's not gonna do that

unless you cast a spell
to eject Paige's spirit from her body.

I won't do that. Paige would die.

Fine.

Then eject Isis' spirit instead,

But, of course, you'd be saving Paige
and killing Phoebe,

because without Isis...

...there's no way to revive her.

What about Jeric?

He mummifies,
can't he de-mummify?

He traps spirits.
He doesn't bring bodies back to life.

That's Isis' job.

So...

...of course, as you can see, you...

...have to make a choice.

You sick bastard.

I can't choose, and I won't.

Then they'll both die.

Come on.

You're not gonna kill Phoebe.

That is why I am banking on your
lovely wife choosing to save her,

I mean, come on, After all,
she's like your, what, half sister?

You didn't grow up
with her or anything.

You've only known her for
like a year and a half, right?

So compared to Phoebe, she's like...

...a stranger.

She's still my sister.

And I will find another way.

There is no other way.

And if you waste time looking for one,
they'll both die.

How can you be so evil?

It's a gift.

Get out.

- Get out now,
- Okay, okay.

But when you've made a decision...

...you call me, okay?

Paige. Phoebe. Phoebe. Paige.

Call me.

There's nothing in the Book
that'll help.

Or from the elders.

I can't do this, Leo.

We can't let them both die either.

I know that.

How can I be so powerful
and so helpless at the same time?

Well, Piper, your strength...

...isn't in your invincibility.

It's within you.

And believe it or not,
you are strong enough to do this.

To do what?

Kill one of my sisters?

Or not.

Maybe there's another way.

I don't know what it is

but whatever it is,
the solution is within you.

Look...

...I know this isn't fair.

Like it or not,
this is the way that it is.

Now look, you are gonna
have to call Cole back soon...

...if you hope to save
even one of your sisters.

How am I supposed to decide?

Listen to your heart, honey.

What is it telling you?

It's telling me that I have to choose.

He'll be back with the witch soon.

What if he's late?

He won't be.

You're welcome.

Apparently,
she has made up her mind, so...

Drum roll, please.

Let's just get this over with.

Who are you gonna save?

Phoebe.

The suspense was killing me.

You do realize once this is over,
I will find a way to vanquish you.

You do realize when this is over,
I might vanquish you.

Enough.
Isis is running out of time.

The spell.

I've got one of my own, thanks.

Got something
up your sleeve, do you?

I wish.

Paige, I know you can hear me.

And I know you understand.

But I can't lose Phoebe.

Just do it.

Two warring souls now burn inside
Where only one can reside

I call upon the power of three
To save her body and set Paige free

Isis?

Did it work?

Yes, it did.

And I know just how to celebrate.

Isis?

You really can't mess with sisters.

Well, at least they're together now.

Bravo. Bravo.

Congratulations. Well done.

You know, I gotta admit,

I thought I had you there
for a moment,

but you never really did choose,
did you?

I didn't have to. I figured if Isis
knew the spell to free Phoebe,

then Paige would know it as well.

Well, next time.

Next time?

What happened to you, Cole?

Me?

Gone mad.

No offense, but we really need
to find a way to kill him.

I'd say that's an understatement.

I wish it was that easy.

What?

Oh, my God,

you two could scare
the hair off a cat.

No demon dare drop by here.

We're just playing hooky.

Well, Paige, you can't play hooky
because, see, you're unemployed.

I resent that. I consider my
witchly duties to be a full-time job,

thank you very much.

We're having a day of beauty.

I'm showing Paige
how to pamper herself.

You're beauteous.

I'm getting quite good at it.
I like it. It's free.

Well, I'm glad. It's about time.

It is, isn't it?
I've been so long overdue,

- I'm so put upon, really.
- Wow.

Turn a girl into an Egyptian princess
for a day and look what happens.

By the way, Lieutenant Morris called
to say thank you.

Oh, he got his promotion.
That's so great.

Apparently, he got credit for the arrest,
despite Leo's little jailbreak.

What you got there?

Maternity clothes,
as if you didn't know already,

- You caved.
- Yes, the time has come.

But I've come to the conclusion
that if you've got it...

...then you must flaunt it.

- That's my niece in that belly.
- She's my niece too.

Hi, niece,
It's your favorite, Aunt Phoebe.