Charmed (1998–2006): Season 3, Episode 1 - The Honeymoon's Over - full transcript

Oh, God.

Phoebe, I didn't realize
you were home. Are you okay?

- I'm sorry. Are you all right?
- Yes. I'm fine!

- Feeling a little jumpy, are we?
- Well...

Yeah, especially now that we know

the Evil Triad is behind
all those attacks.

Yeah. I don't need a recap.
But what I do need is some heat.

Is it freezing in here?
Did you forget to pay the gas bill?

I thought that you were
supposed to pay the gas bill.

I was gonna take care of the club,
and you'd take care of the house.

Remember? When school
started back up for me.



Oh, right.
I'll call the gas company first thing.

I will be so glad
when Piper gets back.

What if she doesn't?

That's my fax.

Doesn't what?

Well, what if she
doesn't come back?

I mean, what if when her and Leo
orbed out, it was for good?

- Phoebe, that is ridiculous.
- No, Prue, it's not ridiculous.

Think about it. We have not
heard from her in a month.

- That's not like her.
- All right, look.

Piper is not just going to ditch us,
okay? We're her sisters.

And neither is Leo.
He's our whitelighter too.

Then why hasn't she contacted us?

She has to know that
we're worried about her.



She also has to know she's left us

one sister short
of the power of three.

So while she's up romping around
in the clouds with Leo,

we've got our Wiccan butts
flapping around in the wind here.

I mean, we are very lucky, Prue,
that we haven't been attacked yet.

No, it has absolutely nothing
to do with luck.

The Triad's up to something,
we just don't know what yet.

That's exactly my point. Piper knows
this. So where the hell is she?

That's why I've been
studying the book.

Prue, studying the book
is not gonna do it.

We're screwed without Piper,
and you know this.

- Why aren't you worried?
- I am worried.

I'm scared that you're right,
that we're never gonna see her again.

And not because she doesn't
wanna come back,

but because they won't let her because
she broke one too many rules.

- Who's calling us at 2 in the morning?
- Probably Darryl.

- Hello?
- Did you get the fax I sent?

Yeah, I was just about to check it.
Hold on.

- What's going on?
- Darryl's tracking a murder suspect

who he thinks is in league
with a demon.

- Based on what?
- Based on the fact that the killer

carves a demonic symbol
into its victim's forehead,

an inverted triangle.

That and the fact that he magically
seems to be evading arrest.

Looks like a rune to me.

Yeah, I saw it in here somewhere.

Darryl, is he still
at the Pier Street rave?

Yeah, but I think he's on the move.

I don't think he's spotted me yet.

He's headed out the back.

- There.
- "An opening by which demons

known as 'the Guardians'
steal an innocent soul."

- Stay away from him, Darryl.
- And let him kill somebody else?

- I don't think so.
- No, listen to me.

These Guardians protect their mortal
killers in exchange for victims' souls.

You cannot stop him.

Listen, Prue,
I can take care of myself.

I gotta call you back.
I'm not sure where this guy is.

Darryl?

Darryl?

All right, we're only
three minutes away.

- What do we do once we get there?
- Save Darryl's life.

I mean about the Guardian.
We don't know how to vanquish it.

The book says we kill it just like
you would a vampire, with a stake.

Oh, okay.
Piper, where are you?

Please don't hurt me!

Darryl...

Prue!

He's alive.

I think I found the Guardian.

Okay. Get rid of it.

Wait, didn't the book say
they were just like vampires?

- I might've misread that part.
- I'm sorry?

Okay. The rune. Aim for the rune!

Okay, if Piper ever comes back,
I am going to kill her.

Poor girl.

- Do you feel dizzy at all? Nauseous?
- No.

Trouble focusing? Headache?

I'm telling you, I'm fine.
The only thing wounded is my pride.

- Is he fine?
- Yeah, thanks to you guys.

What do you mean, thanks to us?

Well, you fought off the attacker,
didn't you?

Isn't that what happened?

Yeah, you know, it wasn't really
that big of a deal.

Well, you saved his life.
I think that's a pretty big deal.

You're a lucky man, inspector.

- Take care.
- Thanks.

Okay, can we go now?

No. You have to give
witness statements.

- Darryl...
- Prue, you're witnesses to a crime.

In this case, the only witnesses.

No, Darryl, we can't be witnesses.

We used our powers
to stop the killer.

- What are we supposed to say?
- And he saw us use them too.

Nobody will believe anything
that sleazeball says.

All you have to do
is get your story straight.

You mean get our lies straight.

Phoebe, listen to me.

Without your testimony,
Emilio walks.

What is he smiling at anyway?

It's not like he has his Guardian
demon to protect him any more.

And, unfortunately, our guardian
angel is nowhere to be found.

We could sure use
some cosmic help right now.

What are we supposed to do? We've
never been in this situation before.

You better decide fast.
Here comes the ADA.

Ladies, my name's Cole Turner.

I'm the assistant district attorney
assigned to this case.

I was wondering if either of you
saw what happened?

I did.

We're in good shape except for...

What'd you call the murder weapon?
An "athame"?

Athame. It's a ceremonial knife
used by...

Iots of different crazy people.

And you're sure you didn't see
who took it?

No. We were there to check up
on Darryl and...

Probably just some lunatic
from the rave. Will it hurt the case?

The PD will try to focus on it,
but this is just an arraignment.

Unless there's something
I don't know about...

we should have more than enough
for the judge to hold him over for trial.

Don't worry. I'm good at what I do.

All rise.

Court is now in session.

Honourable Judge William Hamilton
now presiding. Please be seated.

I'm nervous.

Oh, you know, witches and trials.
It's that whole Salem thing.

No, I mean about lying.
It just doesn't feel right, Prue.

Would it feel more right
to just let him go?

Case number B-684400.

The State of California
v. Emilio Smith.

One count of murder
in the first degree.

One count attempted murder.

Assistant district attorney
Cole Turner for the State.

Public defender Alan Sloan
for the defence.

How does the defendant plead?

- Not guilty, Your Honour.
- So noted.

Mr. Turner, I've read your brief.
Have anything to add?

No, Your Honour.
The State stands by the arrest report

and the eyewitness testimonies.

- Mr. Sloan?
- Well, it seems to me, Your Honour,

you can't very well hold for a murder
trial without a murder weapon.

The State has already stipulated that
the alleged weapon was outstanding.

- We have two eyewitnesses who...
- Saw what, exactly?

My client bent over the inspector?

That's how they justify their attack?

How did they know he didn't just
happen across the scene

and was trying
to revive the inspector?

Oh, please!

- Order!
- Sorry.

And why, if they were able to
so easily subdue him,

don't they know exactly what
happened to the alleged weapon?

I mean, what, did it just...

magically disappear?
- Objection.

Oh, God, he knows.

- The witnesses aren't on trial here.
- Why?

- Isn't perjury illegal?
- Objection, Your Honour!

Mr. Turner,

unless you have something else

or can produce
the alleged murder weapon,

I'm inclined to agree with Mr. Sloan.

- You're what?
- Do you or don't you have

any additional evidence?

Aside from the fact that he's the prime
suspect in three other murders,

that no less than five people saw him
leave the rave just before the attacks,

and that everything,
other than the missing weapon,

makes this, in any other courtroom,
a slam-dunk?

The charges are dropped.
The defendant is released.

I don't believe this.

Clerk, next case.

Yeah, you keep smiling, punk.
I'm not giving up until I see you fry.

Come on, Turner.
This isn't gonna solve anything.

Let's go.

I'm so sorry. I wish that
there was more that we could do.

If there's something
you're not telling me, anything...

If you're afraid of him,
we can protect you. I can refile.

We have to go. Sorry.

- We shouldn't have lied.
- Phoebe.

We shouldn't have.
We should've told the truth.

We should've done whatever we had
to do to keep that jerk from walking.

Like what? Say what really
happened to that knife?

- Tell the court that we're witches?
- Why not, Prue?

Isn't it more important
to keep a killer off the streets

than to protect our secret?

The judge would've thought
we were nuts, and you know it.

Not if you proved it to him
and showed him your power.

That wouldn't have put Emilio away.
That would've put us away.

Then we'd never have the chance
of catching him again.

And would that be before or after
he kills somebody else?

I'm sorry. You know, I'm just...
I'm really frustrated about all this.

What about that public defender?

I mean, if Emilio really did
tell that PD about us,

then why didn't he spill
the magic beans?

Same reason as us, credibility.

What I'm curious about is,
is he mortal or is he demon?

All I know is Cole is an angel.

He was awesome
in that courtroom yesterday.

See something you like, sis?

Maybe. Or maybe it's just

nice to run into someone
that's not a college boy.

- More years, less hormones.
- Yeah, not a bad butt either.

We've been through this, Leo.
I don't care what they are.

It's not right and it's not fair.

- I know that, but it's their rules.
- Screw their rules. They're wrong.

- Piper?
- Just a second.

Leo, you better do something about
this, because this isn't acceptable.

Piper, come on.

I'm gonna go to the club.
Do not tell him.

Hi, welcome home!

Okay, what was that all about?
I didn't even get to bitch at her.

Yeah. Neither did I.

- we have to talk about it.

- Leo, she left.
- Yeah, so now I get to bitch at you.

Listen, the next time
you take my sister someplace,

please call and let us know
that you got there safely, okay?

I don't care if it's up there...

Leo...

Can you do me a favour
and go find out

everything you can on Guardians?

They are demons.
Okay. Thank you. Bye.

- Excuse me, but I have issues.
- Yes, I know. So do I,

but Leo looked
pretty beaten up already.

Yeah, you're right, which is why
I'm now gonna go kick Piper's ass.

Okay, we have had
this conversation.

You are not allowed to use
your active power on me

until I have an active power
to use on you, remember?

I know. I'm sorry, all right?

But if anybody's gonna talk to Piper,
it should be me. Cooler heads and all.

Besides, shouldn't you be at class?

- Piper?
- This is really weird.

My supplies are, like, gone. There's
no booze, there's no mineral water,

and we're even out of pretzels.

Plus, the books are all messed up.
How did this happen in one lousy day?

One day? You're kidding, right?

Piper, you have been gone
for one month.

- What are you talking about?
- Here.

- Check the date.
- October?

It's October?
How is this possible?

I guess time moves
a little bit differently up there.

Yeah, well, it doesn't keep your head
from being bitten off down here.

- Are you talking about demons?
- Oh, no.

Something so much worse
than demons.

Sisters. Especially Phoebe.

- We thought you had abandoned us.
- That's ridiculous.

I would never abandon you guys.

If I had known I was gone this long,
I would've called or orbed

or somehow let you know
I was okay.

Okay, so why didn't Leo?

Leo was battling demons of his own.

Wait a minute, what's today?
There's a band. The...

The Barenaked Ladies
is playing here tomorrow.

- Did anybody bother to call them?
- I don't really think that Phoebe knew.

You know what? Piper.

Can we just talk about
what happened up there first?

Sure. Unfortunately, the longer I'm
back, the fuzzier it all seems to get.

I think they do that on purpose.
They're big on mystery.

Okay, do you remember anything?

Just feelings, mostly.

Good ones, peaceful and whole,

and then it all went to crap
when they said

Leo and I had to
stop seeing each other or else.

Or else what?

Or else they'd reassign him,
and we'd never see each other again.

Just because it didn't work out
with Mom and her whitelighter,

I don't understand
why I'm being punished.

I'm sure that you guys will figure out
a way around this.

Come here.

Leo would never let you go
without a fight. You know that.

But what if
he doesn't have a choice?

- Cole.
- Hi. How's it going?

Wow, is this embarrassing.

- I'm...
- It's okay. I'm okay.

Nice calf.

Thanks.

- Can I have it back?
- Sure. Sure.

Okay.

- How did you find me?
- Told you I was good at what I do.

Although you probably wouldn't
think so after my performance in court.

No, I thought you were amazing.

It's just you were up against...

an unfair judge.

"Free Willy," he's got that reputation.

Still, I know I didn't put on
my best case.

That's why I'm here, to see
if you can help me do a better job.

- How?
- I don't know.

You tell me.

Look...

Phoebe, I may not be
the greatest prosecutor,

but I've got good instincts.
I can sense things about people,

things they may not even
want me to know.

And what do you sense about me?

That you're struggling with the truth.

You're a good person who wants
to do the right thing,

but for whatever reason, can't.

How am I doing so far?

Hung jury.

Mistrial.

If you think of anything...

please call me.

Home number's on the back.

Bye.

Oh, no.

I have got to get a cell phone.

Prue, I had a premonition

of Emilio carving that rune
into Cole's forehead.

- Did you see where it happens?
- No, just some parking lot.

Who's Cole?
What did you do to your hair?

- I'm sorry, do I know you?
- Phoebe, now is not the time.

- Are you sure?
- Positive.

Now that I think about it,
it does seem weird.

- We vanquished the Guardian.
- Well, maybe he got another one.

What's a Guardian, you ask?

Well, if you'd been around at all,
then you'd probably know, huh?

All right, we'll fill you in
on the phone.

Leo's checking on them,
so you should get together with him

- and find out everything.
- And no orbing.

I need another Guardian.

What you need is to be more careful.
I won't protect you again.

I won't get caught again.

I can take care of the witches, judge.

No, you can't. You're a mortal.

But you can take care
of the prosecutor.

I don't want him
to find out about you...

or me, understand?

I wish I could help, Turner,
but I've told you everything.

Call me Cole. After all,
we're on the same side, aren't we?

As often as cops
and DAs are, I guess.

Look, inspector, I'm just trying
to do my job, okay?

I let a murderer go free today,
and that doesn't sit well with me.

Me neither.

Then help me
do something about it.

Help me find out what it is
that I'm missing here.

What you're missing is a suspect.

And if you let me do my job,
maybe I can help you find him again.

Now, if you'll excuse me.

Why did you call
the Halliwells last night?

- What?
- While you were on stakeout

at 2:17 a.m.,
according to the phone company.

- You checked up on me?
- Standard procedure, inspector.

Gee, and here I thought
we were on the same side.

I called because
the sisters own a club.

I thought they'd be interested
in checking out the rave.

That was very nice of you.

- I'm a nice guy.
- Yeah.

- Turner.
- It's Phoebe Halliwell.

- Speak of the devil.
- Should I take a message?

No, please put her through.

- Phoebe?
- Cole, I've been trying to reach you.

Sorry, I was in a meeting
with Inspector Morris.

- You wanna say hello?
- No.

- He's at the police station.
- Ten, 15 minutes at least.

Listen, Cole, I need to talk to you.
It's really, really important.

- Say again? I didn't catch that.
- Cole?

Just stay where you are,
and I'll meet you there, okay?

We've got a bad line.
I'm running late for court.

I'll call you from my car.

Cole?

Damn it.

An active power.

Not that active. Prue!

Hey, catch!

Cole? Cole?

Phoebe?

What are you doing here?
What happened?

I think I'm gonna
plead the Fifth on that one.

I look at you,
and I think how lucky I am.

I mean, I can't stop looking at you.

You're my dream come true.

You're my raison d'etre.

Every time I see you,
I love you even more.

You're so beautiful.

You're so special.

I can't imagine my life without you.

- Piper.
- Leo?

- Who are you talking to?
- Me?

Nobody. Just myself, you know.

Yourself? You were telling yourself
how much you loved you?

No, of course not. I mean, it's...

It's not like that at all.

Let's go downstairs, and I'll explain.

Actually, no, we don't have time.

Did you find out anything
about the Guardians?

- No, I forgot.
- You forgot?

What's the matter?
Why are you acting so weird?

- Can we go downstairs, please?
- No. Why?

Okay, fine.

Here's good.

I've been thinking a lot, actually,
about our situation.

- Leo...
- Just... Now, let me finish.

I think I've come up with a solution.

A way for us to be together
no matter what they say.

Okay.

Will you marry me?

- Piper!
- This is so not happening.

Listen to me, Piper. I told you,
I thought this whole thing through.

Is that why you asked me
to marry you in a toilet?

I tried to get you downstairs.

Well, I'm downstairs now,
and I still don't believe you're serious.

I am serious, Piper. Dead serious.

Right. Dead is exactly what
we're gonna be if they ever find out.

Piper, would you?

Would you just stop running away
from me for one minute

and let me explain?

If we got married...

Look, will you just
hear me out, please?

If we got married,
it would be a holy union.

Something I don't even think
my bosses could break apart.

- I don't understand.
- It's really hard to explain.

I don't really understand
how it all works myself.

But I know that there are
different levels up there. A hierarchy.

What I'm trying to say is that I think
a holy union goes above their heads.

It'd be like running an end run
to my boss' bosses.

An end run?

Yeah, the only catch is that
we'd have to get married in secret.

I think the only way they could hurt us
is if they found out before.

So we just have to keep it quiet.

- Elope?
- Right.

- So that they don't find out.
- Exactly.

You hate the idea.

Well...

it's not exactly Cinderella, is it?

Look, how do we know
they don't know already?

How do we know
they're not listening right now?

They're not, believe me.
They don't do that.

So then why does it
have to be a secret?

Because if they ever did find out...

Leo...

this isn't supposed to be this way.

Marriage shouldn't be a solution
to a problem or a Band-Aid.

It's supposed to be about love

and about two people
who love each other so much

they wanna spend
the rest of their lives together.

That's what I want.

But that's not where
this is coming from.

It's a fix-it, I guess,
but it's not about us or love,

or whether or not
we're even ready to be married.

I came up with this whole idea
because we love each other.

It's all about our love.

You know, we're meant
to be together, Piper. You know that.

You went to the future, and you saw
that we were married in it.

That means that somehow
they didn't stop us.

Somehow, we found a way
to be together,

and I think this is the way.

I don't know.

Leo...

I love you and I know
I don't ever wanna be without you...

but this just doesn't feel right.

I mean, getting married in secret...

It doesn't feel
like a holy union to me.

I'm sorry.

Piper? Leo?

Hey, Leo, good. Did you find out
anything about the Guardian?

Not yet.

Not yet?
What do you mean, not yet?

Piper?

I'll go see what I can find out.

- You get anything out of him?
- Nope. He's not talking.

Yeah? Seems to be an epidemic.

Don't do anything stupid, Turner.

You don't wanna
compromise your case.

What case?

He's already
gotten away with murder.

You really think they're gonna nail him
for hitting me over the head?

How's it going?

I'm gonna make you a deal, Emilio.

One that, if you're smart,
you'll jump at.

Obviously, whoever's protecting you

isn't gonna keep doing it
much longer.

Especially since you keep
screwing up and getting caught.

So you might wanna pay attention.

I want you to get a message to...

your friend.

Tell him I know he sent you after me,
and because of that...

I'm gonna personally
bring him down.

You don't scare me.

No?

Turner!

You have no idea
who you're dealing with.

What the hell are you doing?
Let him go!

See you in court.

Hey!

- Do you wanna be alone?
- No.

But it looks like I'm gonna be.

Leo asked me to marry him.

- That's great.
- Yeah, except that I can't do it.

What do you mean, you can't do it,
Piper? You love him.

Of course I do,
with all my heart. But...

Why does it gotta be so complicated?
Why can't I just be a normal person

in love with a normal guy?

Does Leo think that getting married
is the only way around them?

Yeah. But he's not even sure
it's gonna work.

Yeah, but it might work.

Piper, you and Leo
are destined to be together.

You guys have the kind of love
that girls dream about.

I know I dream about it.
How about you?

All the time.

And I understand the risks,
but if you don't go for it,

isn't it an even bigger risk?

That was fast.

- A little too fast.
- Sorry.

They were very interested when
I told them about the Guardians.

Apparently, Guardians help
mortal criminals spread evil.

Yeah, we already know that.
Skip ahead.

Well, they think that
you've stumbled across

some evil conspiracy
in that courtroom,

one where an upper-level demon
somehow assigns Guardians

to the criminals who are set free.

Well, that makes sense.
It explains why Emilio has two.

Yeah, the question is,
who's the demon?

Didn't you say the public defender
seemed suspicious?

Yeah, but he's not exactly in the best
position to be setting criminals free.

- Yeah, but Free Willy is.
- Who?

The judge. I mean,
that would explain why

he's got the highest release rate
of anyone on the bench.

Still, you can't go
vanquishing a judge

without knowing for sure
he's demonic.

Well, we better come up with a plan
because Emilio gets arraigned

in night court in, oh, an hour.

I've got an idea.

Can't we just come up with
a spell or something?

- No, a spell could backfire on us.
- So could this.

No, the worst that could happen
is that it just doesn't work.

But we have to flush
the demon out somehow.

And since you can selectively freeze
things, why not just the innocents?

- Because I've never done it before.
- Well, I've never levitated before.

- You never what?
- Look, Piper,

just focus all of your energy
on freezing the innocents, okay?

Okay. So why'd you
do that to your hair?

Because I wanted to
change my luck. Scoot!

How many times is the prosecution
gonna keep harassing my client?

As far as I'm concerned, this is
turning into nothing but a witch-hunt.

If it may please the court, could I have
a minute to confer with the witnesses?

It's late, Mr. Turner.
Either you have a case or you don't.

Very well.
Why would the defendant attack me

if he was innocent
of the prior charges?

- There's no proof he's responsible.
- Now, Piper.

What was he doing
in the police parking lot?

Why did myself and
two eyewitnesses...?

The same two eyewitnesses
that were here before.

- Piper.
- All right!

And what were they doing there?

How is it that they just happened to
magically be at every crime scene?

- Try again.
- I'm trying.

Objection, Your...!

- It worked.
- Overruled.

- It's the judge.
- I move for this case to be dismissed.

And the PD.

It's everybody.

Kill them.

What do we do?

We run.

Okay, does anybody have
any brilliant ideas?

- Can you just freeze them?
- No. Once they're immune to it,

they stay that way.
It's called immunity.

Great.

- This was all your idea, you know.
- Okay, well, so sue me.

Stand back!

Any mass vanquishing spells?

- You're the one studying the book.
- Why are you picking on me?

Because I'm scared,
and we're outnumbered.

We can't stay in this room
for the rest of our lives.

The best defence
is a good offence.

- Are you ready?
- No.

- Yeah, you're ready. On three.
- No.

One, two... Don't hold my hand.

One, two, three.

- Hey, nicely done.
- You too.

Wait a minute. If they're demons,
where are their powers?

Come to me!

Guardians. They're not demons.

They're just protected by them.
Come on.

- What the hell?
- Thanks. I'll take it from here.

- Okay, how did that happen?
- Good question, but we're not alone.

We better get back
before Cole unfreezes.

How are we gonna
explain all this to him?

I am so sorry.

Cole? Cole?

Are you okay?

Yeah. I think so.

What happened?

Aren't you getting tired
of asking me that?

Well, Emilio went nuts,
and he tried to escape.

And then all the courtroom people
tried to help him.

Yeah, thank God for Darryl.

Yep, saved the day.

- What?
- Something good happened.

Can't you just accept that?

It's not in my nature.

You've been gone for two days, and
you get the Barenaked Ladies? How?

Oh, actually, I just made
a couple phone calls.

And I can't even get Barry Manilow
on the phone.

- I'm sorry I screwed up your club.
- Don't. I owe you guys an apology.

- And thanks for covering my butt.
- Not a problem.

I didn't even really notice
that you were gone, actually.

Liar.

Yeah, I've been doing
a lot of that lately.

Unfortunately, especially to Cole.

But hopefully I won't have to
lie to him any more.

Yeah, well, something tells me he's
not going anywhere anytime soon.

- No complaints here.
- One over here.

Hottie that he is,

he is an assistant DA, which makes
him somewhat of a threat to us.

Yeah, but at least
he's one of the good guys.

Speaking of the good guys...

- So have you had a change of heart?
- Actually, no.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- Piper, maybe it was a mistake...
- Wait, Leo. Me first.

I've been thinking a lot about
our situation and you asking me,

and I didn't wanna just dismiss it
without thinking it through.

Last night in the courtroom,
I was actually scared.

For a minute there,
I thought I wasn't gonna make it,

that that was it.

And that's when I realized...

that I don't wanna die without
ever having been married to you.

The answer is yes, Leo.
I'd love to marry you.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.