Charmed (1998–2006): Season 1, Episode 3 - Thank You for Not Morphing - full transcript

So we're agreed, 20 minutes?

Prue, you can't do a party
in 20 minutes.

- Watch me.
- Prue's party tips:

Meet, greet and bail.

Hey, I'm sorry, but some of us
have a job.

And some of us have fun.

And some of us are having
a really bad hair day.

You know, that is a sign.
Let's turn back now before it's too late.

- Prue, it's never too late for a party.
- It's never too late, Prue.

Remember my sweet 16?

Hey, I have an idea.



Why don't we throw a party
and charge admission.

- It's a great way to make extra cash.
- Hey, I have an even better idea:

Why don't you just get a job.

The sisters Halliwell.
Now the party can begin.

- It's about time you chicks showed.
- Hey, Prue, I'm glad you made it.

Wouldn't miss it for the world, Fritz.

- Marshall, the place looks great.
- Thank you.

We're mostly just restoring it.
I didn't wanna change it too much.

You guys knew the old owners,
didn't you?

Oh, we basically grew up
with their kids.

We probably know the house
better than you guys.

- Hey, how's the bar?
- Oh, dry. I'll take care of it.

No. My turn.

Try and behave, Cynda.
We have guests.



- You know, sisters.
- Tell me about it.

So, listen, enjoy the party.

- Okay.
- Okay.

Okay, I came, I saw, I was perky.

Now I just want my head on a pillow
because I have to wake up early.

No. I mean, not yet.

Yeah, Prue, we just got here.
It wouldn't look good.

- All right, what's going on?
- Going on? What do you mean?

What a coinkidink. Look who's here.

Phoebe, you didn't.

Your fingers weren't doing the walking.
Somebody's had to.

We've been through this, okay?
Cop, witch. It's not a love connection.

Boy, girl. Lighten up.

Hi, Andy.

We're working on their subtlety.

Then it's on to ending hunger
and creating world peace, right?

- What will I do with my Saturday?
- Funny you should ask.

I don't mean to push it,
but I was wondering...

If you're not doing anything,
I kind of have these tickets,

but they're for a Warriors game.
You probably wouldn't be interested.

Well, the team can't do any worse
than they did last year.

Did you see them get creamed
by the Lakers?

Impressive. Is that a yes?

You know, I need to check
my book,

because I might have a thing.

A thing?

- So, Prue, I hear your friend's a cop.
- Inspector, actually.

Oh, yeah. Well,
I got these parking tickets...

Well, my focus is mainly
homicide and robbery.

Yeah, yeah.

- So I have these parking tickets...
- Gotta go.

- Maybe you could...
- Hey, Prue, wait.

Hey, man.

Phoebe.

How big was this dog again?

Huge. Did you see the scratches
on the attic door?

What was it doing in the house?

I don't know. Someone obviously
left the front door open again.

Why do you always assume
it was me? What about Piper?

- Not it.
- Well, it's not a big deal.

We checked the house,
and nothing is missing

except my Pat Boone
Christmas CD.

No, this is really creepy.
If there was a dog in the house,

then it had to have an owner.

No dog I know can open that
front door, let alone reach top shelf.

Hey, maybe we should get
a security system.

No, they are way too expensive.
Besides, after what happened,

Andy will be checking on us
every five minutes.

- You told him.
- Convenient.

- So, what should we do?
- Well,

either we could rely on
our vicious guard cat to protect us,

or we could remember
to lock the doors.

That is a really good idea, Prue.

Yep.

Unlock the door, Phoebe.

I was told that you might
be able to help me.

I'd like to have this...

...appraised.

Well, you would be better off
going to the house's appraiser.

I've been there. He'd need a week.

And I just...

Well, I wouldn't feel right without it.
It's a family heirloom.

I feel like...

I think I've seen a ring
similar to this before.

The setting's quite old.
At least 17th century.

The stones look like chrysolite.

Keep in mind this is just
an educated guess.

Please, guess away.

If I am not mistaken,

it's a stone that the Egyptians
believed would protect them

against spells, curses,
evil spirits.

This wouldn't be a wedding band
by any chance, would it?

- You tell me.
- The stones are set in twos,

the symbol of duality.

Man, woman.

- Again, protection.
- And what does all that tell you?

Where did you get this ring?

What did you say your name was?

I think you know what my name is...

...Prudence.

Get out and stay away from us.

I'm staying at the Beaumark.

What do you say you and your sisters
join me for dinner.

Let's say tomorrow night.

- We can talk.
- After how you abandoned us?

- How dare you.
- Fiery temper.

I like that.

- It reminds me of someone I know.
- I'm nothing like you.

I would never leave my responsibilities
and my family.

I can see we have some issues
to work through.

No, we've got
the whole subscription.

Now get out,
before I have you thrown out.

Is that any way to talk to your father?

I wonder why he went to you first.
I mean, why not Phoebe? Or me?

Piper, it's not like I won the lotto.

What was he like?
Did he ask about us?

Actually, no.

Phoebe, think about it.
He abandoned us.

He was a no-show for 20 years,

and then what, suddenly here he is?
Why now?

Maybe he just wants to be
a part of our lives.

After all this time?
Don't get your hopes up.

Well, there's only one way to find out.

Why wait till dinner?
Let's go see him now.

Will you be rational?

Don't you find it just a little suspicious
that just when we find out...?

Let me get that for you.

Just when we find out
we're witches, he shows up?

But when Mom dies,
he's nowhere to be found.

- He sent us birthday cards.
- Selective memory?

Grams always told us
he was a threat to us.

There's no reason to think
that that's changed.

Prue, it's not that I don't see your
point, but you knew him, we didn't.

Why can't we have a chance
to know him now?

Because we really don't know
why he's here.

And until we do, we can't trust him.

Entrez.

Daddy?

Well, well.

What a nice surprise.

I'm sorry to just show up like this.
I know I was supposed

- to wait for dinner, but I...
- No. Nonsense. Welcome.

Let me get a good look at you.

This is my baby girl.

Little...

...Piper?

Phoebe.

Yeah.

That's okay. People confuse us
all the time.

Are you kidding? I should be
slapped and persecuted.

Let me make it up to you.
How about some room service?

- I just ate, actually.
- A drink? You are legal, right?

Barely, but no, thanks.

- A massage? I can call Lucy back.
- No, really.

I don't want anything.

I just wanted to look at you.

It's like looking in a mirror, isn't it?

You've got your daddy's eyes,
you know that?

I noticed that.

How about a hug?

- They always manage to find me.
- You know, it's okay, I...

I'll just see you at dinner. I gotta go.

Phoebe.

Phoebe, wait.

Andy, what are you doing here?

- Door was open.
- Again?

Yeah, I came by to check up,
and it was open.

I looked around.
Everything seems to be in order.

You want me to check upstairs?

No, no. That's okay, really.

Oh, and about tomorrow night,
I've changed my mind.

- We're on.
- Excuse me?

Well, you'll never believe who popped
back into my life after 20 years.

Victor, my dad.

- Your dad?
- Yeah, he wants to have dinner,

and I would really rather avoid that.

Too bad the game's not tonight.

- Hi, Cynda.
- Hey.

- Everything okay?
- Yeah, thanks.

- Bye.
- Nice party last night.

Guess I'll get going too.

What the hell?

- Prue, you don't know for sure.
- I know plenty.

First, someone rips off the attic door,

then the Book of Shadows
is found downstairs.

Isn't that enough?

Why would somebody want
the Book? Here.

Well, for one reason,
they know what it can do.

They want its power, our power.

But that would mean it's someone
who knows us

and knows that we're witches.

- Yeah, someone like Victor.
- What? Dad?

Look, just think about it.
The moment he shows up,

someone makes two attempts
to grab the Book.

- Coincidence? I think not.
- The craft is a chick thing, Prue.

It's passed on down through
the female line.

There's a good chance Dad
doesn't even know we're charmed.

And there's just as good of a chance
he does.

What would he want with the Book?
And why would he take it from us?

Phoebe, help me out here.

- Phoebe.
- Okay.

Let's just say
for the sake of argument

that he is after it.
Wouldn't he have taken it with him?

He wouldn't have left it behind.

Okay, we have to call the cops
and report it as a break-in.

And tell them what?

That someone broke into our house
to try and steal our broomsticks?

I mean, please. Besides,
Andy's already been here.

Oh, so Andy was here again.
Talk about convenient.

Did you ever think
of pointing the finger at him?

He's probably the one
who scared Victor away.

Until we find out what's going on
and whether Victor is involved or not,

we've got to hide the Book.

Either that, or we can't leave
the house.

Fine. Then we hide the Book,
because I'm going to dinner tonight.

- I wanna see Dad.
- So do I.

I've already seen him.

Girls, it's so nice to see you.

It's not like we don't have
a lot to talk about.

We do.

I mean, yeah,
we have a few questions.

You know, the last time
we ate together,

you would only eat food
that was white.

- I'm glad to see you've outgrown it.
- That's right. I was 4.

And, Phoebe, that would've
made you what, 1?

You know, you couldn't walk yet,
but you could swim.

You were a fish.

This feels right, doesn't it?

It feels natural. Almost like normal.

Almost. It's just...

Well, why? I mean, after all this time,
why here, why now?

Well, I heard the food
is pretty good here.

And it is dinnertime.

- Here you are, ma'am.
- Thank you.

Bon app?tit.

My plans for tonight fell through.
Figured I'd stop by.

And then, all of a sudden, there
he was. He just showed up at work.

I can't believe it.
How are you dealing?

Honestly, I'm not.

I don't blame you.

- What do you think he wants?
- Dinner.

Piper and Phoebe
are there with him now.

You know,
they just don't understand.

They don't know him like I do.

I can't believe I let them go.

I can't believe they went.

He's acting like no time has passed,
like I'm still his little girl, and I'm not.

There are things
that I wanna tell him.

I want him to know what he missed.
You know, like...

...the time I broke my arm.

Or the day that I finally passed
my driver's test. Our prom.

Didn't we miss that too?

I want him to know.

I want him to want to know.

And I'm sorry, but I also want
some answers.

Like, where the hell has he been
my whole life?

Why didn't he come back until now?

He needs to know
that that's not okay.

So tell him.

I'll drop you off.

Prudence.

Did I miss much?

Just catch-up. Dad was filling us in.

- Memory lane.
- Has he mentioned

- where he's been all of our lives?
- Prue.

I don't understand.
If you can afford a spread like this,

why didn't you help out
when Grams died?

- We actually could've used it then.
- Give him a chance, Prue.

Dad's explained.
The money, all this, it's new.

It's okay, Piper, I'm a big boy.

I didn't come back earlier because
I was afraid I might disappoint you.

- Too late.
- Wonder what's keeping that dessert.

Please, sit down.
Have something to eat.

- I'm not hungry.
- Always in a hurry, Prue.

You skipped crawling
and went straight to walking.

Oh, we're sharing memories.

Well, I've got one of my own.
Your back, walking out the door.

- Who wants flamb??
- Nice reflexes.

Now, let me get this straight.
Piper, you freeze time.

Prue, don't you move objects?

And what's your special trick, Phoebe?
Premonitions?

Maybe we should
talk about this elsewhere.

- What are you doing here?
- What do you think?

- Get out. Now.
- No. You've gotta get out.

- We've got it under control.
- No, you don't.

Because they're on their way back.

I thought you were in charge.

Look, shape-shift into yourselves,
and we'll get back to the Book later.

- Nice plan, Marshall.
- Don't piss me off, Fritz.

How was I supposed to know Prue
would come back with her sisters?

The little witch was supposed to be
out on a date with that cop.

You really think you would've
been able to trick Prue

into getting the Book
out of the house?

Well, we sure as hell can't now,
can we?

So, what now, genius?

We kill them.

Cynda, heel.

Plenty of time for that later.

Heel.

Friends of yours?

So someone left a window open,
which is probably how

the birds got in.
What is so funny?

Do you remember the day
this was taken?

Yeah. Family picnic. It rained.

And your mother packed us all up,
and she brought us home.

And we had the picnic
right here in the living room.

- You remember that, Prue?
- Barely.

Prue.

This one.

This one was at
one of your piano recitals.

Not a very good shot. My fault.

I had to take the pictures that day.

Your mother was too busy
holding her breath.

If you look closely...

You see there? That's her.

I never noticed that before.

And this one used to be a 5-by-7.

When I was still in it.

I think Grams cut you out.

There's a bunch of other stuff
in the attic.

Grams left us so many things.

- That's not all she left us.
- Phoebe, let's not go there.

What? It's not like he doesn't
already know.

And I'm sorry, but it's kind of a relief
to talk to someone about it.

Does anybody want coffee?

I mean, one day I'm a member
of the Y generation

with average hair and a thing
for caffeinated beverages,

and the next, I am a witch.

Dad, do you take cream
or sugar with that?

I just read from the Book,
and wham, I am Tabitha.

The only thing is, is I got stuck
with the power to see the future.

- How uncool is that?
- Well,

from what your mother always said,
it was actually considered

one of the more desirable powers.

Unless you see things
you don't desire.

So how long have you known?
About us, our powers. How long?

I didn't.

I knew there was a possibility.

That's why I came back.

To find out. Must've happened
when your grandmother died, right?

Yep. I just read an incantation
from the Book, and...

Phoebe.

The Book of Shadows.
Not exactly summer reading.

Is it still up in the attic?
You know, I haven't seen it in years.

Mind if I have a look?

- Disappointed.
- Patience, my sweet.

Patience is highly overrated.

We could've destroyed them
right there.

Then we'd have three dead witches
and no way to get the Book.

- Where would that put us?
- Satisfied.

I still like my idea. We kill two of them
and force the third to get the Book out.

Let me explain this once again
for the cerebrally impaired.

These are not schoolgirls
we're dealing with.

These are good witches.

We cannot alert them
to our presence.

At their full strength, battling them...

...would be unpleasant. However,
once we possess the Book,

we get its powers.

We weaken theirs,
and they're easy prey.

You know, that sounds good
in theory,

but we've already tried everything.

We still have Victor.

What exactly are you
accusing me of, Prue?

- Figure it out.
- Come on, Prue, take it easy.

Are you kidding me?

Am I the only one who sees
what's going on here?

Couldn't we all just take
a deep breath...?

Think about it, Piper.
What, he wines and dines us,

now he's back in a house
he hasn't set foot in in 20 years,

and the first thing he wants to know is
where's the Book of Shadows?

You're just looking for something
to blame him for.

Admit it.

- Tell them why you're here.
- Prue, stop.

For the first time in your life,
Victor, tell them the truth.

All right, fine.

You're right. I am after the Book.

That's exactly the reason
why I came back.

Dad?

But not for the reasons
you would like to believe.

That would make it easy for you,
Prue, wouldn't it? If I were evil?

Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you,
I'm not.

- I'm here to protect you.
- Yeah, right.

- To protect us from what?
- From yourselves.

That's why I want that damn book.

It's where the power of three started.
And it's where it must end.

But it's part of us,
it's part of who we are.

That's what your mother
believed too.

Before they killed her.

- What are you saying?
- You have no idea

- what evil is out there.
- Oh, I think we've got a good idea.

Listen to me, Prue.
That book is a magnet for evil.

As long as you have it, as long
as you use it, you're in danger.

- All of you.
- You are unbelievable.

After all these years of being
an absentee dad,

then you waltz back into our lives
and try and tell us how to live?

I never wanted you to have
those powers in the first place.

I battled with your grandmother
after your mom died.

She wanted you to find out you were
witches when you grew up. I didn't.

I fought for you. Hard.

Your grandmother was too strong.

Wait, you're blaming Grams
for why you disappeared?

- She loved us. She raised us.
- What'd she do, put a spell on you?

Believe me, nothing short of that
would've kept me away.

You have to believe me.
All I want is what's best for you.

Phoebe, you believe me, don't you?

- We've done fine without you.
- Prue, you can't fight this.

- I couldn't.
- I'm not you.

Are you sure?

Are you sure you can protect
your sisters forever?

- We'll protect each other.
- Then you'll die together.

No one can hurt us as bad as you.

If you wanted me to leave,

all you had to do...

...was ask.

Why did you have to do that?

- Did you have to throw him so hard?
- Piper.

We could've just, you know,
talked about it, like normal people.

We're not normal.

Hello, Victor.

- Where have you been?
- How did you get in here?

I think that you should be
a little more concerned with...

...what we're doing in here.

I was wondering when evil
would rear its ugly head.

Consider it reared.
I don't know the kind of people

you're used to dealing with,
but I'd lay serious coin

that they aren't willing
to rip you into a thousand pieces

and dance in your entrails.

Oh, so you're lawyers.

And here I was assuming
you were shape-shifters.

Those are clever words for a man
about to be an appetizer.

Cocky words for a man who can't get
a simple book out of a house.

Close your mouth.
I mean, it's obvious.

You're gonna shape-shift into me
and try to get to the girls that way.

Am I right?

- It won't work.
- Why not?

- Do you mind if I poke holes?
- Poke away.

After tonight, the girls won't let me
or anything that looks like me

back into their lives,
let alone the house.

I've officially been kicked out.
There is, however,

one sister I can reach. Phoebe.

So why don't I just become you,
and I'll reach her?

Because only her real father
would know what buttons to push.

The ones that would get me back in.

If you kill me,
you'll never know what they are.

You'll never get back into the house...

...and you'll never get
the Book of Shadows.

Good morning, Phoebe.

Guys,

can we call a truce
just for five minutes, please?

I have a confession.

Remember when we agreed
to not see Dad?

Yeah, well...

...I did.

- Hello, I was with you.
- No.

By myself, before dinner.

And I had a premonition about Dad
when he hugged me.

He was stealing
the Book of Shadows.

Yeah, you were right
about him, Prue.

But I didn't want the premonition
to be true.

I was hoping,

praying that there was
a perfectly good explanation for it.

Hoping that...

That he was really here
to be with us.

I just wanted him back in our lives.

He's our dad.

I know, Phoebe. I know.

Hey. Look.

It's Dad's ring. What's it doing here?

It must've slipped off when he...

...fell.

Well, I'll have it sent back
to the hotel.

Don't be afraid.

What are you...? You have to leave.

Phoebe, please,
this is very important.

I can't. I don't wanna
talk to you anymore.

Phoebe, you gotta get the Book
out of the house.

- You have to leave.
- Phoebe, trust me.

Look.

Excuse me. Hey.

Is this guy bothering you?

No. This is my...

- This is Victor.
- We were just saying goodbye.

Yeah. I gotta run.

What's the matter?
Don't you trust me?

Dad's not after the Book.
It's Marshall.

- He's what?
- The premonition.

It wasn't Dad. Gotta find a spell
and banish them.

- Banish who?
- The neighbours.

They're shape-shifters.
Fritz and Marshall and the...

Cookies. Just baked.

Hey. The door was unlocked.

- Where you going, Pheebs?
- Just to get something.

Will you save me a cookie?

- Okay.
- Daddy's home.

Come on, come on.

I have no idea what I'm looking for.

Okay. I can take a hint.

"When in the circle that is home
Safety's gone and evils roam

Rid all beings from these walls
Save sisters three, now heed our call"

Rid all beings from these walls
Save sisters three

Now heed our call
Okay.

Dad, you can't be here.
You have to leave now.

Whoa! Timeout.
What's going on here?

Don't worry about it, sweetie.
Everything's gonna be fine.

- Don't trust him.
- Wait a sec.

Last week, we have no dad,
and now we have two?

Phoebe, remember?

Remember when you were little,
and you were afraid of the dark?

And I would leave the hall light on
and the door open just a crack?

Oh, that's original.
What kid isn't afraid of the dark?

Prue.

- She's never been afraid of anything.
- He's right, Prue.

- You were never afraid of the dark.
- Lucky guess.

I said I came back to protect you.

Now there's only one way to do it.
Kill us both.

- You're bluffing.
- Am I?

Just do it, because I wanna go out
with a bang.

- Do it, Phoebe.
- The spell will kill everyone,

including Dad.

This is the only way.

- Prudence.
- Prue, the protection ring.

Phoebe, now.

In the circle that is home

Safety's gone and evils roam

Rid all beings from these walls

Save sisters three
Now heed our call

When in the circle that is home

Safety's gone and evils roam

- Daddy!
- It's okay. Keep it going.

Rid all beings from these walls

Save sisters three
Now heed our call

For a moment there,
I wasn't sure what you would do.

For a moment there, neither was I.

I thought you didn't want us
to use our magic.

I didn't.

Not as long as I still thought of you
as my little girls.

But you're obviously not anymore.

- We're still your little girls. We're just...
- Witches.

Yeah. Witches.

Who obviously don't need
your old man

to protect you from anything.

No, Andy, I'm fine, really.
Dad's gonna be here any minute,

so can I take a rain check on dinner?

Okay, no.
Thanks for the good advice. Bye.

So he's "Dad" now?

Yes, Phoebe, he is. And by the way,
my dress looks good on you, but...

I don't have any nice clothes, Prue.

- Dad said it was casual.
- I don't care.

I wanna look nice for him.

Who knows how long it'll be
before we see him again?

You don't think he's gonna
stay around?

Well, let's just say I no longer have
a romanticized image of him,

and I'm glad about that, actually.

At least Dad is real now.

And at least he's not a monster,
which is very reassuring,

considering we share his genes.

I'm just glad he came back,
no matter how long he stays.

Kind of nice feeling like
a normal family again.

Whatever that means.

Speak of the devil.

Hi. You must be Mr Wyatt.

The handyman?

- Call me Leo.
- Gladly.

- This was on the steps.
- Oh, thanks.

This place is...

You don't find many
like this one anymore.

- Yeah, it's kind of falling apart.
- Well, the problem isn't the manor.

It's the manner in which
it was treated.

I'd love to see more if...

And I would love to show it to you.

The attic is right this way.

- Guys.
- Oh, I'll be right up.

- He's not coming.
- Who's not coming?

Dad. But he sent this.

"Girls, something's come up.
I had to leave town.

Can't make dinner. Probably best
if we let the dust settle anyway.

I know there's a lot you would like
to forget, but here's

what I remember. Love, Dad."

What'd you get? What's in there?
You can open...

- It's like magic!
- A bunny!

What is it?

- Come here, come here, come here.
- What is it?

What is it?

What is it?

- What's in the box?
- Again? Oh, God.

A bunny!

Oh, Prudence.

Look at that face.
Look at that face.

- Who is it?
- Hey, Piper.

What's in there?

- What do you got, Phoebe?
- Barbie.

- Yes!
- Barbie!