Charlie's Angels (1976–1981): Season 2, Episode 20 - Mother Goose Is Running for His Life - full transcript

CHARLIE: Once upon a time,

there were three little girls
who went to the police academy,

two in Los Angeles...

the other, in San Francisco,

and they were each assigned
very hazardous duties...

but I took them
away from all that,

and now they work for me.

My name is Charlie.

[♪♪♪]

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

Hello?



Yes, this is Leland Swinnerton.

I thought I'd made it
clear to you people,

I'm not interested in selling
to your client, whoever he is.

I don't mean to be rude,
but you'll have to excuse me.

I'm very busy.

[TRAIN TOOTS WHISTLE]

The Mother Goose appellation's

been mine for about 50 years,

and in all that time
we've never produced

a truly violent or even
an unpleasant toy,

and we've brought happiness
to millions of children.

I'm proud of that.

You ladies probably
played with my toys

when you were little ones.



Well, they said

they came from Santa Claus,
but I knew it was really you.

I must admit, I still have one
of his koala bears in my closet.

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

Hello, Charlie.
Mr. Swinnerton is here.

CHARLIE: Good.
How are you, Leland?

In health, Charlie,
but troubled.

I hope you can help me.

I'm sure we can. Fill us in.

Several months ago, a law
firm, Dunstan and Wheeler,

approached me about
selling my company.

They made me a fabulous
offer, which I naturally declined.

Toys are my life.

Did they say who they
were representing?

A rival toy company. Above
that, they refused to say.

Of course, that did
nothing to engender trust.

You were right to be
suspicious, Leland.

Some of their clients
have underworld ties.

They buy legitimate
companies to use them as fronts.

They won't take
no for an answer.

Since I've refused their offer,

there have been
several incidents...

A week's production
of sailboats sank,

a whole roomful of
rag dolls burned up...

and the smoke bomb
in the train last night.

Sounds like more
than coincidence

and worth looking
into, huh, Charlie?

It also sounds like

maybe somebody's
working from the inside,

one of the employees.

No, no, no, no. I
refuse to believe that.

We're all one big
family at Mother Goose.

No, absolutely not.

No offense intended, Leland.

Thank you for coming in.
You'll be hearing from us.

Well, maybe I
should leave it to you.

You're the professionals.

Ladies... So lovely.

Oh, to be 50 again.

I don't understand, Miss Duncan.

Mr. Swinnerton... Collins.

Jennifer Collins,
from Hong Kong.

You must try to remember
that, because it's very important.

That's what I mean...
All this subterfuge.

Mr. Swinnerton, it is necessary.

I know, but I have never
lied to my employees

about anything.

Mr. Swinnerton, we
understand your feelings,

but you've got to face the fact

that if we don't
put a stop to this,

someone could get hurt.

I know.

Very well. Let me
introduce you around.

And believe me, we
will be most discreet.

Your employees will never know.

Hello. Hello.

Oh, Miss Collins will be with
us for a few weeks, Mrs. Cooley.

We'll give her that
empty office down the hall.

Oh, how nice.

I know you'll be very happy
at Mother Goose, my dear.

Well, thank you very much.
Please call me Jennifer.

Will you come this way? Yes.

I want you to see
our design room.

This is the nerve
center of our company.

It all comes from
here, the brains...

More like the loins.

I mean, after all,

it is the creative end, right?

This brash and
brilliant young man

is our vice president
in charge of Design,

Gordon Roclair.

Gordon, I'd like you to meet

Miss Jennifer Collins...
How do you do?

And her attorney,
Mr. John Bosley.

How do you do?

Hi. You suing
Mother Goose, here?

Well, no, on the contrary,
I'm here to learn from him.

My father is in the
toy business, also.

Oh? Where's that?

Well, we are an
international organization.

We have offices
in several countries.

I've just spent the
last few months

at our main branch in Hong Kong.

My father would like

for me to take over
the operation there.

Oh, I see. Sounds like
Daddy's quite an operator.

Gordon, really...
It's quite all right.

I... I don't mind brashness,

as long as it is, as you
say, combined with brilliance.

BOSLEY: Well, Jennifer,

maybe you and Mr. Roclair
can get acquainted.

He might show you
some of his designs.

That'll give us a chance to
look into some legal matters.

Oh, certainly.

Thank you, Mr. Bosley.

Okay, bye. Bye.

Let me show you some of my work.

Now, I'm curious. If
you're a vice president,

why don't you have
a separate office?

Practically everybody in the
company's a vice president.

He doesn't want
anyone to feel left out.

Ah, do I detect a
note of dissatisfaction?

Look, I am what
Mother said I am...

I'm a brilliant designer...

But I'm sick and tired
of cute, cuddly trash.

I want to do modern work,
things that reflect today's world.

Now, look. Look here...

That's a complete guillotine.

That's a most unusual toy.

Mother almost had a heart
attack when I showed it to him,

and he ordered me
to keep it out of sight.

Tell me, is this the direction

that you think the
toy market should go?

Oh, absolutely.

If we got into horror toys,
we could double our volume...

Oh. And I've also got a gallows

with a functional
trapdoor, and look here...

This is a driving game.

The cars are all souped
up on a simulator,

and you get pedestrians
who are the targets,

and you get points for
every pedestrian you hit.

Points? Uh-huh.

Do you think this is
good for the children?

Children have always
lived in a world of fantasy,

and besides, they actually

get rid of their little
aggressions this way.

Uh, tell me, Mr. Roclair...
Gordon, please.

Gordon, tell me, why
are you telling me all this?

When you show up here
with the family attorney, I...

I detect the sweet
smell of money.

My father is very successful.

You're not here to learn
the toy business, are you?

I think it's time I met
the other employees.

Okay, but just remember,
Mother Goose is down the tubes.

Uh... yeah.

Nice.

[PLAYING TCHAIKOVSKY'S
"DANCE OF THE SUGAR PLUM FAIRY"]

If he plays that one more time,
I am going to require insulin.

Shh, Bosley, Mother
Goose'll hear you.

Now, that music
is inspirational.

He's inventing.

Why here, and why in
the middle of the night?

Bosley, we're
supposed to protect him,

not run his life.

This is where he feels creative.

Well, I'm going to go walk
off some of these cobwebs.

I may even commune
with the teddy bears.

[RUSTLES]

Hey, I think I heard a prowler.

Where?

Sounded like the Design Room.

Hey...

Is he dead?

He's dead.

Oh, wow.

[RATTLES HANDLE]

Bosley! What?

This door is locked
from the inside.

Hey, Sabrina, he
was a wire tapper.

How did they do that?

He was bugging the place.

He got shot...

by somebody that wasn't here.

The deceased was one
Larry Wilkes, an ex-con,

and a professional wire
man, just as we suspected.

His clients have usually
been as crooked as he was,

therefore, well-concealed.

So we don't know who
he was working for?

No, not a clue.

The only thing Charlie's
been able to come up with

is a girlfriend named Donna.

Charlie says that
Wilke" funeral is today,

and he suggests that
we pay our last respects

and see who else shows up.

That means you and me, Kris.

Yes. Kelly, we have all the fun.

Bree, what about
this Roclair guy?

Gordon Roclair...

Well, he may be very bright,
but he is also el whacko.

He wants to make a whole
line of little horror toys.

He wants to make
a little guillotine

that cuts little heads off,

and he wants to
make little automobiles

that hit little pedestrians.

He also said, "Mother Goose

is going down the tubes,"
and that's a direct quote.

A whacko... And
a definite suspect.

Yeah, but if
Roclair's a suspect,

then there's got to be
somebody else involved,

because why would
he need to hire anybody

to go in there and
bug the place?

He works there. He
could have done it himself.

Okay, Kris, let's go.

That must be Wilke" girlfriend.

Donna... can we speak to you?

What do you want?
Sorry about your fiancee.

He didn't seem to
have many mourners.

Why would he have?
Larry Wilkes was a jerk.

I mean, he was my jerk, but
that's what he was, you know.

You were pretty close to him?

Okay, come on... I
mean, you knew my name,

so you've got to know
he was my fella, right?

You're cops, right?

Well, we used to be.
Used to be and still are.

We're private detectives.

Listen, did the police

interrogate you
about Larry's death?

Sure.

Oh, I didn't tell them
anything. Nothing, honest.

You know, if you loved the guy,

I should think you'd want
to see his murderer caught.

Look, one, I don't know
who killed him, okay?

And, two, nobody offered
me a dime, you know.

Well... we operate differently.

Well, I hope it's
a lot differently.

He didn't leave me much.

That's funny. Larry
Wilkes was considered

one of the best wire
men in this town.

Well, not by me, honey.

I just knew him as the
guy that paid the bills,

occasionally, you know.

What do we get, and how much?

I can tell you who
he was working for,

and from the looks, I mean,

the way you're
dressed and everything,

I'd say that's
worth, oh, five bills.

Okay.

Boy, what a jerk.

I should have asked
for a grand, huh?

Okay.

The dude's name was
Tony Phelan. Yeah, that's it.

He was supposed to be some
kind of legitimate businessman,

but Wilkes told me
he was a mob guy.

Did he ever mention a man
by the name of Gordon Roclair?

A designer. Works
for Mother Goose toys.

No.

If he had, it would
have cost you extra.

Okay, thanks a lot.

One thing. Yeah?

Would you do us a
favor? Yeah? What?

The man's dead,
so cry or something.

Boo-hoo.

Oh, my.

Let's see what we can find
out about this Tony Phelan.

Right.

KELLY: There it is.

Charlie says Phelan
seldom goes out,

and it looks like
it's well guarded.

How do we get in?

I got an idea.

I think maybe I'll just drop in.

Now, this is the
back entrance, see?

Design Room,
Swinnerton's office.

You seem particularly
well-informed

about the Mother Goose
company, Mr. Phelan.

Not half as informed as
you're going to make me.

I got a guy on the inside,

but the problem is he's
crazy. I can't trust him.

What happened to my
predecessor, Wilkes?

Well, he got inside, but
somebody surprised him

and he never got
the place wired.

I heard he was dead.

He is.

Got into a beef
with his old lady,

and she shot him.

That's why I sent
to London for you.

Now, look, Orwell,
don't worry about it.

This is no big deal.

My company wants to buy
their company, and that's all.

I see. What specific
information is it you require?

Well, this Mother Goose
company is in trouble financially.

I want to find out how bad, and
also about the new line of toys

for the Christmas season.

You'll get it.

You're damn right I will.

Oh, oh... You've
got to be careful.

Oh, hi. I'm very sorry.

Can you hold this? Thanks.

See, this is my first time,

and, well, I guess
I ran out of wind.

I'm very sorry.

Don't worry about it.

Just as long as you're okay.

Oh, you're very nice,
and very understanding.

I'm always understanding

when a gorgeous girl
like you is concerned.

You're being very nice again.

Well, I guess I should
introduce myself.

Hello. I'm Kris Munroe.

I'm Anthony Phelan.

Nice to meet you, Mr. Phelan.

Do you suppose that I could...

use your telephone?

And then my friends
could come and pick me up.

Don't worry about it.

We'll get you home
safe and sound.

But what's your hurry?
You look a little shook up.

Why don't you come inside
and have a drink, huh?

Oh, terrific. What
should I do with this?

Orwell, you take
care of that, huh?

We'll finish our talk later.

What do you do
for a living, honey?

I'm a model.

Hey, I'll bet you are.

This way, huh? Thanks.

You two, take care of that.

BOSLEY: His name is Jack Orwell.

He's one of the top
wire men in the business.

He lives in England,
flies over for the jobs.

Charlie checked him out
and came up with that picture.

So I would say Phelan
obviously has brought in

a replacement for
the late Mr. Wilkes.

Sabrina's locked
in at Mother Goose,

and Kris is working on Phelan,
so I guess Orwell's mine.

Wait a minute... how do we know

that he's never met
Wilkes' girlfriend?

Well, I was worried
about that myself,

so, well, I took a
chance. I called Donna.

She said she'd
never heard of him.

Cost me another $100.

Cost Charlie. Yeah, well...

Listen, what else do
we know about Orwell?

He's single, he likes the girls,

and he hangs out in an
English pub in Santa Monica.

Cheerio.

Cheerio.

Mr. Orwell?

Well, if you say so, love, yes.

Kelly Garrett. I've got
a proposition for you.

I don't believe this.

You're propositioning me?

Well, you haven't heard it yet.

I was a friend, a good
friend, of the late Larry Wilkes.

Wilkes. Sorry, love,
don't know no Wilkes.

Order me a black and tan,

and I'll tell you a lot of
things you don't want to hear.

That's bad logic.

If I don't want to hear it,
why should I listen to it?

They may save your life.

All right. I'll listen.

You're here to wire up the
Mother Goose Toy Company.

Oh, yeah.

Who told you that, then?

Someone in the
Phelan organization.

He knows I'm broke

and thought I could
use a little extra work.

I work alone. I don't
need any assistance.

Do you know how
Larry Wilkes died?

All right.

Wilkes, Larry.

Shot by some bird
he was living with.

Could be you, for all I know.

He was shot and killed

on the premises of the
Mother Goose Company.

Look, if you don't believe me,

go to the newspaper
morgue and get a back copy.

How was he caught?
And who did it?

Now, if I told you that, you
wouldn't need me, would you?

I also know how to get
in and out of there safely.

That's your proposition?

That's it, and for
that I get a third.

All right, you say you
worked with this Wilkes.

What kind of equipment would
you use in a noisy location?

A high impedance mike.

What kind of VOX did
you use on your last job?

You mean, what kind of
Voice Activated Switch?

AMG Security.

[CHUCKLES]

You're good, lady, you're good.

How about if I buy you
lunch to go with that?

Now that I'm working,
I'll buy my own.

Cheers.

You take this room.

I'll take the offices, okay?

Okay. Okay.

[CLICKS]

I don't understand... Shh!

[PLAYING "DANCE OF
THE SUGAR PLUM FAIRY"]

There. Now you can talk.

Good Lord, the things
that are happening...

It's all right, Mr. Swinnerton.

You see, last night, the
whole place was bugged,

but we know the locations.

Then you can get rid of them?

Well, we're not going
to get rid of them,

but we are going to
move them around a little.

You see, we think we
can use their own bugs

against the people
who planted them.

You know, lately I
have been thinking

I should get out
of the toy business,

get into something
similar, like cuckoo clocks...

If you did, the Swiss would
probably send a hit man.

Uh, listen, Bos, you
better watch over Kelly.

I'm going to send
her a little message.

How are you this
morning, Mrs. Cooley?

Oh, delightful, Miss Collins.

I hope you're having just
a wonderful stay with us.

Well, yes, I am, and I'm certain

that it will be
better and better.

Good.

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

MRS. COOLEY:
Mr. Swinnerton's office.

Greta, how are you?

Would you like to
have lunch, dear?

Well, what about
Chico's down the street?

He's so adorable...

That's his
secretary's voice. I...

I don't understand this.

I put the bug there myself.

That girl was never
remotely good for him.

I told him when he married
her, but he wouldn't listen...

Maybe she's in her boss's
office using his phone.

Oh, and while
we're having lunch,

I want to tell you
about... Turn it off.

Turn it off.

All right. Okay.

What went wrong? I
don't understand this.

ORWELL: Switch on the one
in the Design Room, love, okay?

The one you planted there.

KELLY: All right.

SABRINA: There's something

I think you should know, Gordon.

ROCLAIR: What is it?

Well, you said when we first met

that you expected Mother
Goose to go under soon.

I still do.

Well, I hear otherwise.

What do you mean?

I hear that Swinnerton

has come up with a
Christmas toy collection

that is so good it's going
to save the company.

How do you know
this? He asked my father

if he would like to
become involved in it.

Why didn't he tell me?

The old fool's never kept
anything secret from us before.

Well, I don't know.

It would appear
that he has this time.

He wants to surprise everyone.

Do you know if it's, uh...

what line of toys it
is? One or many?

He says he's going to keep
it secret until the last moment,

but I do know

that the designs are hidden
somewhere in the plant.

The toff's going to want
to hear that right away,

I'll tell you.

You mean Phelan?

Don't bandy names
around, all right?

Besides, I liked your ideas.

I was right about you, wasn't I?

You were right about my father.

He does want to buy into
the American toy market,

but at a price.

No, no, no, no.

I meant something
else... As a person.

We're a lot alike.

If things go our way, Gordon,

perhaps we'll be
able to find out.

My designs, your
financial backing.

If... If we can find
Swinnerton's designs.

GORDON: Just give me
a chance. That's all I ask.

SABRINA: You were
right about my father.

He does want to buy into
the American toy market,

but at a price.

GORDON: No, no, no...
[TURNS OFF RECORDING]

Wait outside, huh?

Hey, this broad must be
something else, huh, Gordon?

She's attractive
and very intelligent.

It didn't take her
very long to get to you.

Well, if it wasn't for her,
I wouldn't have known

about the old man's
plans to save the company.

And if the Englishman
hadn't bugged you,

I wouldn't know about
your plans, Gordon.

You should have told me
you had the place bugged.

If I had told you, I would never
have found out about your plans

to sell us out to some Hong
Kong operator and his daughter.

Our first toy design for
Mr. Phelan's company.

Smashing.

Coffee break. Excuse me.

ROCLAIR: There's no
question of loyalty, Mr. Phelan.

I don't work for you.

I was paid to perform certain
acts of sabotage, and I did it.

It's not my fault the
old man doesn't scare.

PHELAN: The first wire
man I sent in there, Wilkes,

he got shot. Nobody knows how.

I got a feeling you know how.

I do, and it was
absolutely ingenious.

You see, I rigged a toy gun
to fire a small caliber bullet,

and it was guided
by an electric eye,

but, of course, it
was an accident.

After all, you didn't tell me
you were sending a man in.

Okay, ingenious, who
were you trying to snuff?

The old man, of course.

He's outlived his
time. I hate him.

I told you I didn't want
no hit on Swinnerton.

And as I explained before,

I don't see myself as
being employed by you.

You jerk!

You're a genius, huh?

You're an idiot!

Now, this is what
I want you to do.

You're going to
ask the Collins girl

to find out where
the designs are.

You're going to steal them

and you're going to
hand them over to me.

Now, that's clear
and simple, huh?

So even a genius can understand.

She thinks I'm working
for her and her father.

Well... There's
nothing wrong with that.

Only you're not, because
we'll give you something

no Hong Kong
operator's gonna give you.

Oh? What? A bullet.

Mr. Orwell?

Well, you're a bit of all right.

This must be my lucky pub.

It is now, honey.

My name's Donna.

Well, that's nice.

Larry Wilkes was my old man.

What do you mean?
What are you trying to say?

The answer to that depends on
how much you're willing to pay.

KELLY: I thought you were
going to bring me something to eat.

I'm sorry. I forgot.

Anything interesting
happen when I was away?

Roclair just called Phelan,

and he said he's still
trying to find the plans.

That's it?

Well, he also had a
little message for us

if we were listening.

What was it?

You wouldn't want
a lady to repeat it.

You're no lady,
love, you're a copper.

All right, what are you
going to do about it?

Oh, that's easy.

I'm going to kill you, love.

ORWELL: Get up front and drive.

Hurry!

Jack, what are you going to...

Look, cut the chat,

and put it down
a little, will you?

Come on.

What is it?

Is there somebody back there?

What are you
slowing down for now?

It's a red light.

[HORN BLARING]

What are you doing?

You'll get us both
killed, woman!

[SIREN WAILING]

Listen, if he catches
us, you're dead!

Think about it, Orwell.
Just think about it.

Hey, what's going on here?

This man's kidnapping me.

Kidnap?

She's just trying to get
me into trouble, officer.

We had a lover's
quarrel, you know.

Would she be driving my van
if I was trying to kidnap her?

He's lying. He
forced me to drive.

You call that driving, lady?

He had a gun to my
head! That's right...

A machine gun, wasn't it?

Look, officer, I insist
that you search me.

Excuse me, sir?

You dropped your
gun out of the window.

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

Hello?

Jennifer. Did you...
did you find out...

Yes, I did, Gordon.

The designs are hidden,
appropriately enough,

in the Design Room.

They're in the Doll's House.

Wonderful! When
did you find out?

Gordon, I've just come from
dinner with Mother Goose.

Go and get them.
I'll be right over.

Okay. Great.

Did you find them?

Yeah, I got them.

Do they have any potential?

I hate to admit
it, but, you know,

they're better than anything
he's turned out in years.

Then they could save
the company, huh?

They could... If we
didn't have them.

I'll make some copies of
these and put the originals back.

He'll never know.

Then I'll have them
for you tomorrow,

and then you can put them
on the first plane to Hong Kong.

My father will be
very grateful, Gordon,

and so am I.

[DIALS TELEPHONE]

Hello, Mr. Phelan?

Yeah, yeah, I've got them.
Yeah, the whole Christmas line.

If you'll send someone
over, I'll meet them out front.

Okay.

Okay, he should have
called Phelan by now.

He's going to make copies

and then put the
original plans back.

Is Kris in the Design Room?

Yeah, trying very
hard to hold her breath.

Let's just hope
Roclair doesn't decide

to redesign her. Yeah.

Ooh!

Please see that
Mr. Phelan gets this

as quickly as possible.

That was one of
Phelan's bodyguards.

Yeah, and there went
the "secret plans."

Should we make
our move on Roclair?

No, let's give Phelan

a little time to enjoy
those new designs, huh?

Right.

[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]

Well, what do you
think? You're the expert.

Don't mean nothing to me.

Just looks like a
bunch of blueprints.

Well, they are, but I'm afraid

someone's playing a
joke on you, Mr. Phelan.

What do you mean?

Well, these aren't
designs for toys.

This one seems to be

a blueprint for some
kind of a vacuum cleaner.

And this one is...

Well, it's a blender for fruits
and vegetables and things.

There's no mistake?

No, I'm afraid not. I'm sorry.

It's a joke!

Why, that screwball's
trying to doublecross me.

Vince, get the car.
We're going over there.

Leland, this is Gordon.

Listen, something's come up.

I think you'd better get
down to the office right away.

Yes, I know what time it
is, but it's terribly important.

No, I don't want to
tell you over the phone,

not with all the bugging
that's been going on.

Good. I'll meet you
in the Design Room.

Uh, you know what?

I think he's had about
enough time to hang himself.

Let's go.

Hold it, Gordon.

What...? What's going on?

You're not leaving.

Why don't you sit down?

Aren't you the attorney?

We're private detectives.

How could you do
this to me? Why?

We switched the plans that
you gave to Tony Phelan.

By now he thinks
you tricked him.

BOSLEY: You're a lot safer with
us than you would be with him.

Provided you give
us a confession.

You switched the plans. Yeah.

Okay, okay. You win.

Ah-ah, no, no. No.

Move!

That's it.

Stay right where you
are, and don't move.

Roclair, you little creep!

All right, drop them!

All right, up against the wall.

Okay, move.

Kris!

It's okay, Bree.

Is he dead?

No... I think he fainted.

Fainted?

Yeah.

See, he rigged the
cannon to shoot people,

and then he ran in here
and he got it himself.

Only he didn't really get it,

because I put my
chewing gum in the barrel.

You did what?

CHARLIE: Tony Phelan is being
charged with Conspiracy and Assault.

Roclair is undergoing
psychiatric observation.

And they are both so
anxious to accuse the other

that the D.A. says he can
hardly wait to bring them to trial.

Poor Gordon. I believe
the boy really is demented.

All those horrible toys he
wanted me to produce...

Gallows, monsters,
weapons of war.

Speaking of toys, Leland,
how's the new line going?

Oh, quite well,
thank you, Charlie.

Here, I've added to
it. Let me show you.

Oh, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.

Those look like
us. They sure do.

Hold it a second here.

Oh, can I have a
set for my niece?

Well, naturally.

Not only that, you'll get
royalties from the sale.

Royalties... Terrific.

It certainly is, Bosley...
And they deserve them.

They do, indeed.

Thank you, Bosley.
That's very sweet.

Of course, Charlie, with
this additional income,

they won't be needing raises.

[♪♪♪]