Charlie's Angels (1976–1981): Season 1, Episode 9 - Bullseye - full transcript

When a female soldier is killed the base commander who is a friend of Charlie's asks him for help. Jill and Kelly go in as new recruits, Sabrina goes in as a nurse at the base hospital, and Bosley goes as a civilian researcher. They learn that the victim was planning to work in medical supplies and a drill sergeant, who is the killer, was pursuing her romantically. They eventually discover that there's bad medicine on the base.

Once upon a time,

there were three little girls
who went to the police academy.


And they were each assigned
very hazardous duties.

But I took them away
from all that,

and now they work for me.
My name is Charlie.


Cease fire!

At this rate,
you're never going to qualify.

You're telling me.

Billings should be overjoyed,

Hey, look, we qualify,

we finish WAC basic training,

and we can say goodbye
to Sergeant Billings forever.

Pretend he's who
you're aiming at.

Ready on the left.

Ready on the right.

The firing line is now ready.

Commence fire.

Mary Jo!

Cease fire! Cease fire!

Cease fire!

She's dead.

Good afternoon, girls.

Hi, Bos.

What's she doing?

Meditating. Sh.

Well, when will she be done
with that singing?

That's not singing.
She's chanting.

And we don't know
when she'll be through.

She's put herself
into a deep hypnotic trance.

Ohmm. Ohmm.

Why don't you try it, Bos?

No, I couldn't.

Sure you could, Bos.

Why don't you try it?
Come on over here

and just sit right down
on the floor.

Now, just sit.

See how Jill is sitting?
Just sit just like Jill.

Cross your little leggies.

Well, that's good enough.

Now, put your hands like Jill
has her hands.

Now, you comfy?

Okay, now what
you're going do,

is you're going
to close your eyes,

and remove all thoughts
from your mind.

Now start chanting.



No, louder, Bos.





Now you're doing great, Bos.
Keep on.

I think I've got
the feel of it!


Townsend Investigations.


Terrific. Terrific, Bos.


Is that you, Bosley?


You sound like
a bagpipe in heat.

No, sir.

I mean, yes, sir.

That's all right, Bosley.
Good afternoon, angels.

Good afternoon, Charlie.
Hi, Charlie.

Bosley filled you in yet?

Oh, he was just about to.

I'll give you the details
as quickly as I can.

A WAC recruit
named Mary Jo Walker

was shot and killed two days
ago at Fort Jameson.

Shot with an M-16.
No trace of the weapon.

Any clues?

No. No, nothing.

Mary Jo had no enemies.

She comes
from a simple background.

Joined the WACs
for career opportunity.

What did she sign up for?

Medical supply school.

Did she have any friends?

Only one. A Sally Miller.

They bunked together.

Why doesn't the general
use his MPs?

He's only got a handful
of female MPs, Sabrina,

but they're too well-known
on the base to go undercover.

Now, General Green's
an old friend of mine.

So even though
it's not army procedure,

he's asked us to intervene.

Yeah, we get the picture,

All right now, angels.
Here are the assignments.

Bosley is going down there
as a civilian researcher.

It'll give him
access to the files.


You're going in as a nurse.

You'll work
out of the base hospital

which should provide
an easy contact point

for Kelly and Jill.

Uh-huh. I'm not even going
to ask where we're going.

A left, right, left.

A left.

Left. A left.
A left, right, left.

Charlie's going to get it.
What are you going to do?

I'm going to have him
drawn and quartered.

You wanna walk
and talk and smile?

Let's see how you move it!
Double time! March!

Left, left, left, right--

Mary Jo kept mostly to herself.

I guess I was about
the only friend she had.

Was there anyone
who didn't like her?


Except for maybe Sgt. Billings.

Training sergeant?


It's a funny thing too.

The first couple of weeks,
he was real nice to her.

They seemed to have
a thing, almost.

Then along about
the third week of training,

he started getting
on her case real bad.

So you think
he was coming on to her?

No, I don't think so.

She would have
said something to me.

Just about the time
he started coming down on her

she was reporting
for sick call every morning.

Maybe that's what bugged him.

They don't like us doing
that too much.

What was wrong with her?

I don't know.

She'd always be back
for training later in the day.

I don't know
what was bothering her.

Hey, you sure do ask
a lot of questions.

I want to be sure that I don't
do whatever she did, you know?


You shoot well. Never seen
a recruit take to it so quick.

Well, I was raised in Texas.

Daddy had me shooting ducks
from my stroller.

I guess I'm a little early.

I'm supposed to make rounds
with Dr. Canlon this afternoon.

The name's Jenny Warren.

Sabrina Duncan.

Let's see, Jenny.

Heart murmur?

Oh, it's really nothing.

I'm scheduled for transfer
to Europe next month.

Oh, it means everything to me.

I just can't miss it.

It's the reason I joined up--

To see what the rest
of the world looks like.

Well, I'm sure if you follow
the doctor's orders

they'll have you shaped up

and shipped out
before you know it.

Hello, Dr. Canlon.

I see you two have already met,
huh? Jenny's my prize patient.

How you doing today?

Terrific, doctor.

That's the spirit.

Just don't do any laps
around the hospital yet.

We want to make sure we have you
regulated. Is that a deal?

That's a deal.
All right.

It looks like
you're doing just fine.

I'll stop by and see you
tomorrow, all right?


Bye, Jenny.

How did Jenny ever get inducted
with a heart murmur?

She never told anybody about it.
Never showed up on her physical.

We occasionally find people
covering up medical problems

in order to get
into the service.

Ah-ha! Used to be the service
was something to stay out of.

Well, we have better
inducements these days.

If we could get you
on a recruiting poster,

we'd be turning them away.

Well, thank you very much.

Listen, it's part of my job
to show you

around the hospital but I'd
rather get you better acquainted

with the whole base operation.

Including yours, Dr. Canlon?

Well, especially mine.

Now, I know this terrific
little bar in town

which serves drinks that are
strong enough,

believe it or not, to wash away
the taste of the mess hall.

Mm-mm, I'm sorry.
I can't tonight.

I'm not settled yet.

I'll tell you what.
You can give me a rain check.

You'll let me know?

Did you remember to get
the shoe polish?

Oh, I got three just in case
we're here longer than we think.

Hey, what do you think
was going on

between Mary Jo and Billings?

Sounds like a lovers' quarrel.

Yeah. If it was, he's got
a nasty way of breaking it off.

Maybe there's something
in his office

that links the two of them.

I'm going to go by around 8:00,

if you can distract
who's ever on CQ.

Of course I can.
But listen, you be careful.

If Billings catches you

with your hand in the cookie jar

he may break more
than just the cookies.

Oh, boy.

Can I help you, private?

Oh, I just wanted to get a look
at the training roster,

find out what I'm up against
for the rest of training.

You're one of the trainees

that just transferred in,
aren't you?


A Company, 4th Battalion.
Corporal Sedgewick speaking.

This is Captain Barr,
battalion headquarters.

I want those reports

Yes, captain, but there's
no one else here.

I said immediately, soldier.

Yes, captain.

Listen, they want these files
up at Battalion right away.

Can you keep an eye on things
till I get back?

Thank you.


Where's Sedgewick?

Oh, she had to go
up to Battalion.

She asked me to keep
an eye on things.

Including my office?

I thought I heard
somebody in there.

That room is off-limits.

I thought so. That's why
I wanted to check it out.

You're the sharpshooter,
the one out on the range today.

Yes, sergeant, Kelly Garrett.

You can go now, Garrett.
I'll wait here for Sedgewick.

Yes, sergeant.

Yeah, Billings.
We may have a problem.

That new recruit, Kelly Garrett?

Think she was snooping
through my office.

No, I'm not sure,
but just in case I'm right...

Now don't panic.

All I'm thinking about
now is a warning.

A very stern warning,
first chance I get.


All right, ladies. You will move
on the command, "Take."


And that's the best you can do?

I mean, after all these weeks
at training,

that's the best you can do?

You don't throw very hard.

I tried, sergeant.

You don't try hard enough.

Let me show you.


unless I start seeing
some real effort,

I'll personally show
each and every one of you

how I want it done.

Now is that clear?

Yes, sergeant.

I can't hear you.

Yes, sergeant!

All right, let's get off
into pairs. Let me see you move.

Let's go, troopers!

We were going to do it
good anyway. You ready?

Sure. Hospital, here I come.

Here goes.

Oh! Ow!


What's the problem?

I think I took
Sgt. Billings too literally.

She's hurt.

How bad is it?

It feels awful.

Maybe we'd better go
to the hospital

and have it looked at.

She's hurt!

Well, then take her!

How'd I do?

Glenda Jackson couldn't have
done it better. Let's go.

Anyway, Billings has been making

a lot of money
the last few months.

Around 25,000.

That's pretty good
for a staff sergeant.

Did he know you were
looking around his office?

I'm not sure.
He hasn't said anything.

I did get a look
at Mary Jo's 2-0-1 file.

Every time she went
to the hospital,

she always saw a Dr. Canlon.

Have you met him?

Uh, yeah. Very nice.
Very attractive.

So it won't be
that much of a hardship

for you to find out
a little more about him.

No, um,

as a matter of fact,

I'm kind of looking
forward to it. Yeah.

I had no idea you were a hero.

How's that?

I heard you got a commendation

for the work you did
with a medevac unit

during the Costa Rican

That was nothing.

Modesty, captain?

I've found that in disasters
there are two kinds of people:

heroes and victims.

I was only doing my job,
little lady.

Evening, captain.


this is Lieutenant Duncan.

How do you do?

It's very nice to meet you.


I didn't know you did
your drinking in this bar.

Well, the NCO club
was a little bit crowded.

Besides, I like to see
how the rich folks live.

Pretty nice, I'd say.

Well, I'll see you, captain.


Watch him, lieutenant.

He's an officer, but, uh,

he surely is no gentleman.

He doesn't sound
like a friend of yours.

He's not.

I met him in the hospital

just after he got back
from Vietnam.

He'd been pretty
badly shot up.

But after we patched him up,
he insisted on another tour

which wasn't the best idea.

He spent most of the time

in a POW camp
for the second time.

Korea too?


Oh, he's a good soldier,

but not my idea
of a drinking buddy.

How about a little service?

Maybe this is why you do
such a thriving business here.

Scotch, double on the rocks.

Try to get it here tonight,
will you?

He seems older

than the other noncoms
I've seen around.

Yeah, he's probably
in for 30 years.

Lot of these guys don't know
anything but the Army.

It's their whole life.

Listen, are we going to talk
about him all evening?

I'm sorry.
I was just thinking.

See, my father
was in the service.

He said that the scariest part

about the second war
he went through

was thinking
that he'd probably used up

all his luck in the first one.

Well, that doesn't seem
to bother Billings.

Vietnam, Korea.
He can't wait to get back.

Now, can we talk about us?

Oh. Absolutely.

Hey, you watering these down?

No way.
It sure tastes like it.

I poured it straight
from the bottle into the glass.

I don't believe you.

Listen, mister.

Pour me another!

I want to see it
come straight from the bottle.

Why don't I buy you one
for the road?

I think you've had enough.

I'll tell you when
I've had enough!

All right, if you don't
get the hell out of here now,

I'm going to call the cops!

Last thing I need in here
is some loudmouthed drunk.

Okay, sergeant!

Now, cool it. Now!
Get out!

You and your drinking.

So you slipped the bartender
a few bucks.

Yeah? I spent the rest
of the evening

trying to explain you
to my date.

How come she was so interested?

Because you just had to drop
by and play buddy-buddy.


Lots of questions being asked
all of a sudden.

Her. The Garrett broad.

You done anything
about that yet?

I will this morning.

We have gas training.

Just don't overdo it, huh?

No, sir.

All we need is another murder.

Captain, don't you start
on me about that again.

Now, Walker was about
to spill everything.

You said stop her. I did.

Yeah, well, I never intended
for you to--

Oh, no.

No, all you intended
was to make

a lot of easy money

which was okay by me.

But sometimes things
get a little rough

which is also okay by me.

Now, you just play it cool,

Let an enlisted man
take care of things.

That's what we're paid for.

All right.

You have been instructed
in the use of protective masks.

Now, you will move inside.

You will not put your masks on
until you hear the command:

don your protective masks."

At that time, you will do so...

and move slowly out.

I repeat: slowly.

Do not run.

If you run,

I will send you back inside
without your masks

which is something
I guarantee you will not enjoy.

All right, ladies,
on your feet. Move it!

I get the feeling he knows
his way around a gas chamber.

Yeah, he must have done
his basic training at Auschwitz.

Move it.

Form yourselves
into loose circles.

Don't forget to follow
proper procedures.

Move slowly, firmly.
Don't panic.

Helmets on the ground.
All right, stay calm.

All right, ladies,
don your protective masks.

Okay, with the mask on,
check the seal.


All right, ladies, stay calm.

Are you okay?

I don't understand it.

They said all these masks
were checked out.

Maybe your filter's clogged.

I'll check it.

It's gone.

I think somebody's
trying to tell me something.

Well, General Green,
I bring you greetings

from both Charlie
and from my father.

You're a very lucky girl,
Sabrina, knowing both of them.

Thank you very much, sir.

I'll just bet

that this was a photograph

of you and Charlie,
is that right, general?

Right. How did you know?


Just doing my job.

What about the rest of your job,
Mr. Bosley?

I followed Kelly's lead.

Sure enough, Sgt. Billings
is into something.

He has been making deposits

every two months on the 10th
at 2500 a shot.

Very indiscreet of his bank
to tell me.

That's why
I prefer Swiss accounts.

Maybe from gambling.

Not if it's always
the same amount.

I don't know.

Whatever it is,

it doesn't necessarily tie him
in with murder.

Well, I'm afraid I haven't been
very much help there.

We haven't turned up
a thing on the rifle

that killed the Walker girl.

Are you still searching?
Oh, yes.

We've had metal detectors
all over the range area.

We haven't come up with a thing.

Every vehicle entering
and leaving the base

has been searched.

You know,
there's something else.

Last night in the bar,
when Billings

attacked the bartender,

Canlon was able
to calm him down pretty quickly.

I just wonder
what he said to him.

Bos, why don't you check out
where Canlon does his banking.

See if there's any kind
of a tie-in.

Yeah, let's hope so.
What's your next move?

I don't know.

I guess I'll just go back
to the hospital

and play like a nurse.

Code Blue. Code Blue.

Room 307,
Private Jenny Warren.

Be still, Jenny.
Come on, now, just relax.

They'll be here in a second.
Just try to stay calm.

They'll be here
with your injection.

Now, just be still.
Be still.

Stay calm. Come on now.
Where is she, anyway?

Easy, Jenny. Easy now, Jenny.
Be still.

Hang on now. Come on.

That a girl.

No Endicine on the floor.

I had to send over
to the medevac unit.

No, don't give me that. Please.

Please, it won't help.

You can't give me that.

Come on, Jenny, it's going
to be all right.

No, it won't.
You don't understand. Please.

Please don't give me that.

We have to get
something else.

You don't understand.
Sh. Come on now. Be still.

How's she doing?
I just gave her--

Straight line, doctor.
No vital signs.

All right, arterial blood gas.
Two amps soda bicarb.

Get those paddles ready, please.
Get somebody with the ampu bag.

Here, let me see that scope.
Come on. Paddles.

Paddles, doctor.

Turn that scope around
so I can see it.

Okay, clear. Clear.


All right, increase your oxygen
to 15 liters per minute.

Vital signs come up?


She has a normal sinus rhythm.
She's going to be all right.

The Endicine should
have taken, doctor.

I know I gave her
the right amount.

I don't know what went wrong.
She's going to be all right.

That's the important thing.
She might have died.

Why didn't the Endicine take?
I don't know.

Well, there's a very good reason
why it didn't take.

The expiration date
on this stuff

is April 1, 1975.

Where did you get this?

Did you get this
from the supply cabinet?


I mean...

not exactly.

What do you mean?

I went to the supply cabinet
and saw that we were out.

So I called the medevac unit
to see if they had any.

They did, and I had them
send some right over.

I just assumed
the medicine was good.

I didn't even look
at the expiration date.

Well, don't
blame yourself, Alice.

I'll check with Medevac,

see if there's any more
bad medicine down there.

If there is and it got shipped
to a disaster area,

a lot of innocent
people could die.

I'll call if you like.
No, that's all right.

I'll handle it.

I'll meet you back here
as soon as I can.


Do you have the numbers
from that last shipment?

Go over to Medevac right now
and pull them.

Don't ask me why.
Just do it!

Lots and lots of pieces,

and none of them seem
to fit together.

Like Canlon and Billings?

I had Bos check out
Canlon's bank account.

Seems he makes the same kind
of deposit as Billings:

tenth day every two months.

Same amount?

Oh, no. His are larger.


You just can't go
busting in like that.

This can't wait.

It's all right, Cicely.

I'm sorry, sir.
He just pushed right past me.

Cicely, please,
don't worry about it.

Thanks, Cicely.
How we doing?

We're all feeling
very inadequate.

Well, look I got some
information on Jenny Warren.

She went through
her basic right here,

in Sgt. Billings's company.

Amazing how that man's name
keeps popping up.

Oh, yes.

Then she went to Medical Supply
under Dr. Canlon.

Mm, him too.

Why did you have me
check Jenny out for anyway?

Because yesterday, when she was
going into cardiac arrest

she pleaded with them
not to give her that medicine.

It was almost as if she knew
the medicine was bad.

What are you getting at?

Well, suppose Canlon

also knew, and he was
putting on an act.

I don't follow you.

Okay, look. Let's run over it.

Now, we have a connection

between Billings
and Canlon, right?

Only we don't know what it is.

Except that it's profitable.

Yeah, and there's
another connection.

Now, Jenny was
in Medical Supply

and Mary Jo Walker was headed
for that very same unit

as soon as she
got out of basic.

Okay. What if Canlon
and Billings

were buying bad medicine?


Well, for profit.

Now, look. Drug companies
have medicines, right?

When they reach a certain date,
they expire

the companies have
to get rid of them.

Now, if a company
could sell that medicine

they would make
some kind of a profit.

But wouldn't he be afraid
of bad drugs showing up,

like yesterday?

Yeah, but that's why Canlon
keeps them in the medevac unit.

Because that medicine
is supposed to be used

only in disaster areas,

mostly outside this country.

So if anything goes wrong,

it's almost impossible
to track it back here.

The only thing is, how would
they cover the purchase records?

Not hard.

Not if you have somebody
working in Medical Supply.

I think I better have
a talk with Jenny.

I'll take over for a while.

How you feeling?

Better now.

Jenny, about yesterday.


You knew that medicine
was bad, didn't you?

I can't talk about it.

Can you tell me why?

I just can't.

Please leave me alone.

You know,

sometimes people
get themselves into a jam,

and they think
there's no way out of it.

And sometimes the best thing
they could do

would be to tell
somebody else about it.

I wish I could.

But I can't.

You understand that?

For now.

You just remember,
if you feel like talking,

I'm here.



Bree said Jenny
wouldn't tell her a thing.

Too scared?
Yeah, Bree thought so.

You know, even if she admitted

being in with Billings
and Canlon,

it still doesn't help
with the murder.

Why not? It gives us
motive and opportunity.

All circumstantial.
We need that murder weapon.

I'm sure it wouldn't still be
here on the base.

How well did you go over
Billings' office?

So-so. He came in too soon.

Think I'll give it another look.

I mean, maybe there's
something you missed.


You see the KP roster yet?

No. Why?

Shouldn't even ask.

I take it all back.

Drawing and quartering
is too good for Charlie.

Charlie Townsend is a no-good,
sadistic, totally insensitive

male chauvinist pig!

Charlie Townsend is a no-good,
sadistic, totally in--

Did you say something?

Oh, no,

I was just thinking about
someone who used to be a friend.

Did you get a Dear Jane letter?

In a manner of speaking, yes.

Hey, what's with that?


On those cans.
"Edible garbage"?

Oh, that's hog slop.

I beg your pardon?

Yeah. Lots of the garbage
from the mess hall

is usable as feed
for the hogs.

I thought we were fed
all the garbage.

No, they collect it every day

and sell it
to the local farmers.

Every day?

Mm-hm. Like clockwork.

Sabrina? Listen.

I just figured out a way
the murder weapon

might have been disposed of.

You ever hear
of edible garbage?


I wonder if the killer
broke down the M-16

and stuffed different parts
in the edible garbage cans.

I know it's a long shot,
but maybe Bos

should take a tour
of the countryside.

I realize this is
highly irregular, sir,

but the Department
of Agriculture

will spare no effort
in this matter.

If you've received
foreign objects...

in the garbage that you
have purchased from the Army

they could cause great harm,
as well as a health hazard.

Well, listen, mister.
I don't care what you do.

Only thing is,
I can't spare my boots.

You're going to have to do
your searching on your own.

Yes, unfortunately I've been
told that several times today.

I'm a dignified person.

I shouldn't have to do this.

Excuse me.

Anybody want a BLT?

Excuse me.

Sorry, ma'am.

Hey, hey!

You sure come unglued easily.

Well, add it up, Billings.

First you think some recruit
went through your office.

Then that good-looking nurse
starts asking questions,

and now a guy by the name
of Bosley

wants to know
about my bank account.

And about yours.

Think maybe it's time
we went AWOL?

Yeah, for about 30 years.

Look, I'm going to make a stop
at the bank, make a withdrawal.

If you fill out a slip,
I'll do the same for you.

We'll meet at the usual place.

Say about 8:00.

Yeah. Oh, wait a minute.

Not tonight.

I've got CQ
up at Battalion.

If I don't show up,
they'll come right after me.

I'd like to have a bit more lead
before they call out the dogs.

Meet me, uh...

tomorrow morning about 7:00.

I'll have been relieved by then.

All right.

Damn time difference.

We could have gotten
that number by now,

but they all go home at 5:00.

Ballistics is sure
that's the murder weapon?

Positive. So it's
just a question

of checking
the serial number.


General Green.

Well, are you sure?

Well, thank you very much.

It was registered
to Sgt. Billings.

He reported it
destroyed in Vietnam,

so he must have kept it
as a souvenir.

Oh, my God.

Jill's going to search
his office this evening.

Let's go.

All right, sit down.

Sit down!

Two of you
going through my office.

The other one
chasing after Canlon.

Should have figured
this out before.

You're working together,
aren't you?


Oh, well.
Doesn't make any difference.

One of you's all I need.


I got the money.

Hey, what the hell's going on?

She's my insurance policy
out of here.

Billings, it's only going
to make it worse.

I'll take my chances.
Where's the money?

Don't worry.
It's all there.

Where's your share?

What are you talking about?

I took all the risks.

Let's just say
it's owed to me.

I don't have it with me.
It's back at my place.

Come on.

You wouldn't leave

that much money
with your mother.


I'll be back.

General Green.

Now, you--

You loo--


That was Sgt. Billings.

He's got Jill?

I'm afraid so.

He's out
at a deserted airstrip

a few miles from the base.

He's demanded a small aircraft
out there in an hour.

Just enough
to get across the border.


I'll order something.

What about Jill?

He said if he gets away safely,
he'll release her.

And you believe him?

Oh, now, look, I'm sorry, but
we just got to take the chance.


Give me the major.

I don't see Billings
letting her go.

Neither do I.

Well, all we can do
is keep our fingers crossed.

Look, now, Billings
is nobody's fool.

He's probably figured out

that he's been nailed
for Mary Jo's murder.

One more killing isn't going
to make any difference to him.

Yeah, well, we can't get
to him as long as he has Jill.

There's got to be
something we can do.

We don't even know
the location of the airstrip.

That should be easy enough.

Bos, don't you think
you could get

that information
out of General Green?

Oh, consider it done.

I can use these lieutenant's
bars to scare up a rifle,

preferably one
with a sniper scope.

What am I going
to be doing all this time?

You're going to go over to the
motor pool and hot-wire a jeep.

Gen. Green is not going to like
this, he goes by the book.

So do I. It just happens
to be a different book.

What does your book say?
My book says we move now.

Let's go.


I don't think I can do it.

Sure you can. You shoot expert.

You can do it.
That was on targets.

This is Jill's life.

Get those hands up.
Get inside.

Come on now. Take a deep breath
and let it out easy.

Good shot!

Good shot? I was aiming
at his shoulder.

It's jammed!

Come on.

SABRINA: Hold on!

I'm going to try
to head him off!

Hold on!

KELLY: Thank you.

Thank you, Bree.

You were truly magnificent,

Thank you, Charlie.
JILL: We know.

You too, Bosley.

Ah, thanks, chief.

How'd you like
your little tour of duty?

Oh, it ranked right up there
with abscessed teeth.

Not too much, huh?


Let's put it this way, Charlie.

The next time duty calls, let's
let it call somebody else, huh?

Angels, I thought you'd love
the military life.

I'm very surprised.

Not as surprised
as you're going to be.


You'll see.


Come in. It's open.

Angels, what's this
about a surprise?

Are you Charlie Townsend?

Yes, but what can you--?

Some girls I know,

told me that you really know
how to show a girl a good time.

They wanted your address
from General Green's file

but I wouldn't give it to them.

I decided to save you
for myself.

Save you for yourself?

There must be some mistake.

No mistake.

I got a two-week pass,

and me and you will never
have to leave the house.

No, wait! Not--

What--? Angels!

Hey, have a great time, Charlie.

We want to hear all about it.

Because we know
you love the military.