Charlie's Angels (1976–1981): Season 1, Episode 11 - The Seance - full transcript

CHARLIE:
Once upon a time,

there were three little girls
who went to the police academy.

And they were each assigned
very hazardous duties.

But I took them away
from all that,

and now they work for me.
My name is Charlie.

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

I'll take it, Putty.

Tell Pierre he can bring
the car up now.

Yes, ma'am.

Let me look at you.

Just a minute, please.



Anything showing?

More leg than is decent
for a woman your age.

What would Mr. Rodeheaver say?

Yes. Who is it, please?

Yes.

No.

Yes,

I understand.

Very well.

Don't get out, Pierre.

I'm late already.

In the past three months,
three burglaries,

three heavily insured items
gone without a trace.

My company may have to consider



a drastic increase
in your premiums.

My horoscope shows
that three is my unlucky number.

Now you take four--

Four, we would consider
instant cancellation.

You mustn't--

Harlan would be furious.

Uh, Harlan?

My husband.

Oh, I see.

We'll hope he
never hears about it!

But he will--

Madam Dorian says
that when she gets through to--

Excuse me, I'm sorry.
Madam Dorian?

Just an acquaintance.

Oh.

I don't see how
you can expect anymore.

I've retained Mr. Townsend's
cherubs.

Cherubs?

Angels. That's what Charlie
calls them. Angels.

Dynamite.

That's Sabrina Duncan
behind you.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Jill Munroe.

And last but not least,
Kelly Garrett.

Hello.

Female private detectives?

Yes. I've hired them to discover
who stole my jewelry.

I would hope they might
recover some of it.

The police have already
done that, you know.

Yes, I do know.

Well, the safe hasn't been
punched, peeled,

drilled or blown.

Oh. Really?

That's right, and I gather
from the police report

that there were
no fingerprints.

Sounds like an inside job.

Inside?

Do you mean one
of my servants?

We don't really suspect
your husband, Mrs. Rodeheaver.

That's comforting--

Mr. Rodeheaver passed
over three years ago.

Passed over?

It's an expression of Madam
Dorian's. Expired. Deceased.

Oh, oh, I'm-- I'm sorry.

This Madam Dorian is--?

Is my advisor.
Oh.

Who else is in the house?

My housekeeper.
And the chauffeur.

You've checked their references?

Oh, yes, indeed.

20 years ago.

You might just as well
suspect me as Putty or Pierre.

Well, it looks like the work
of a regular Jimmy Valentine.

You see!

They've got
a suspect already!

If I may ask, how do
you girls intend to proceed?

Well, I'm going
to call Charlie now

and make
a preliminary report.

You're welcome to listen in
if you'd like to.

Yes, Angel? How are things
with Mrs. Rodeheaver?

Fine, Charlie.

Whoever robbed the safe

evidently had the combination.

Now, the client has ruled out
the household staff.

I think we should probably
stick to friends,

acquaintances, trades people.

Probably one of us
should stay in the house.

Sounds like you're
on the right track, Angel.

Keep in touch.

Will do.

Charlie thinks it
would be a good idea

if I moved in
for a few days.

That is,
if you didn't mind.

Into my house?

I would just sort of
tag along, and,

act kind of like
a secretary.

Whatever for?

Well, because someone
in your circle

has been stealing
from you.

You're going to spy
on my friends?

Mrs. Rodeheaver,

believe me, one of your friends
is not a friend.

Mrs. Rodeheaver, this advisor
you mentioned, Madam Dorian--?

Who is she exactly?

Well, if you must know,
she's my spiritual advisor.

KELLY:
How does she "advise" you?

She doesn't really
"advise" me.

I speak to Harlan
through her.

Sabrina?

Yes. Yeah.

You'll find it terribly dull
traipsing around

after an old lady, but if you
must do it, let's get cracking.

You want to talk about inside?

I'll give you the inside--
That chauffeur.

Oh, really? Why?

Because he's the closest thing
we have to a butler, right, Bos?

Because he's too handsome.
And too French.

Well, you got to admit
that uniform is kind of cute.

What are you measuring
me up for?

I am not thrilled.

Oh, it's you, Bosley.

Definitely.

You're fine, Bosley.

I just hope I can pull off
my end of it.

Oh, come on.
It'll be fun and games!

You'll be an heiress,
whose daddy

was the most wonderful man
who ever lived--

And, uh, let's put him
in oil, Alaskan oil.

Can you do an Alaskan accent?

Do Alaskans have accents?

Don't ask me.
I am just a French chauffeur.

You know, we have oil
in Texas too, Jill.

Okay, whatever.

Anyway, the old boy
just kicked off last year...

Passed over.

...and left you barrels of it.

Money, not oil.

And that's the problem, you see.

All these big financial
decisions to make

and no wonderful daddy
to guide you.

When daddy's gone,
Madam Dorian takes over.

Hey, I wonder what Sabrina's
been able to find out

about the good madam.

Pump, Sabrina, pump.

There's nothing like it
for firming up the thighs.

Mrs. Rodeheaver,

we have to check out
all your contacts.

Now, I don't understand
your reluctance

to talk about Madam Dorian.

I told you, she's
a spiritualist.

And quite extraordinary.

You mean,
you've gotten messages

from your late husband
through her?

Harlan continues
to advise me,

on business affairs,
as he always did.

Oh, well, that must be
a great comfort to you.

Oh, we shouldn't
be too long, Bosley.

Do try to stay awake.

Yes, ma'am.

Yes?

May I be of service?

This is Miss Ostling.

Ostling?

The daughter
of L. Burton Ostling.

Ostling oil?

Mrs. Rodeheaver had called
about a consultation

with Madam Dorian.

Ah, yes.

Would you come this way?

Many, many people seek out
Madam Dorian for surcease

from the trouble
of this earthly existence,

in search of assurance
that there is life beyond death.

Hm?

Absolutely.

But not all who come here
are sincere.

Oh, yes, we get the scoffers,

the mischief-makers, who,
in their ignorance,

waste the time
and precious strength of Madam.

Oh, you don't have to sell me.

Back in Detroit,
I was so scrambled

even my psychiatrist gave up.

But would you believe
in four sittings with a medium,

I got it altogether.

Then it's your friend here
who is troubled?

Oh, yes. Her father died
last year.

Perhaps I should interview
Miss Ostling alone, hm?

Oh, great. I'll wait outside.

Please relax, Miss Ostling.

Feel at peace with the universe.

I am Terrence,
you may call me that.

All right, Terrence.

What is your first name,
Miss Ostling?

Kelly.

You seem tense, Kelly.

I'm going to play some music
to help you relax.

I want you to concentrate
on the music.

Listen very carefully--

so that you'll
always recognize it.

Are you concentrating?

Yes.

Listen to the sound
of my voice and the music.

Concentrate.

Count back from 100.

100,

99,

98,

97,

When you reach 90,
96,

you will sleep,

95,

and hear only my voice

94.

and the music.

93,

92,

91,

90.

Sleep.

Can you hear me, Kelly?

Yes.

Good.

From now on,
each time you hear the music

you will answer questions
about your loved ones,

and hear only my voice.

Do you understand?

I understand.

Well, I can tell by looking
at you, it was a good interview.

Miss Ostling has a desperate
need to span the void

and can be reunited,

if only for a few moments
with her father.

I feel certain
Madam Dorian can help.

Oh, that's great.

The seance will sit at 8.
You will be punctual, hm?

Oh, without a doubt.

Thank you.

What do you wear to a seance?

Oh, something simple,
chic and terribly expensive.

Do you like this one?

How much?

Personally, no.

I wouldn't wear that to a wake.

Well, isn't that
what a seance is?

Well, sort of, I guess.

I don't know.
I've never been to one.

What about Detroit?

I've never been there, either.

How much?

Bosley, we don't even like it.

Jill, I have a funny feeling
about this.

Oh, come on. You've checked out
bunco artists before.

I mean, if Dorian is just going
to do the old tambourine

and trumpet routine, you'll be
out of there in 20 minutes.

If I have to come on
about dear old dad,

I'm going to mess
it up, I just know it.

Most wonderful daddy
any girl ever had.

It's a tough role
for an orphan girl.

Wow! Some orphan!

Right on!

How much?

Right off!

Take it.
Oh, Bos.

Charlie'll have
my legs broken.

Please?

Well, maybe we could rent it,
just for the night?

Bosley!

Just a thought.

I'll bid two spades.

Pass.

Four no-trump.

Four no-trump?

That's Blackwood, dear.

Oh, oh, yes. Then
that means that I, um--

That you bid your aces.

I bid my aces.

I'll bid two aces.

Good evening, my dear friends.

And for those of you
who have joined us

for the first time tonight,
a very special greeting.

I am Madam Dorian.

I sense conditions
are very favorable

for making contact
with the other side.

How the spirits
manifest themselves

I am unable to foresee.

But don't be alarmed
no matter what happens.

Remember they are
our own dearly departed

reaching back
across the awful void

that separates
their world from ours.

And now, dear friends,
let us complete the circle

by joining hands.

Will you ease up?
You're breaking my fingers.

I'm sorry.
Quiet, please.

From this moment on,
let us have absolute silence.

[GHOSTLY WHISPERING]
I have tried so hard

to get through to you--

Let's see if we can
catch her lips moving.

I can tell you this, Albert--

follow the dictate
of conscience.

And you will find peace.

[MUSIC BOX PLAYING]

Please--

Oh, please--

Please--

Don't.

Don't make me go
in that dark closet.

Please, please, Beamish,
I'll be good.

I promise. I promise
I'll be good.

Let me have Lilibet.

I get so scared in there alone.

Oh, Beamish, please let me have
Lilibet, Lilibet for company.

Beamish, Beamish-- Beamish!

That was sensational.

How'd it go?

Oh, she was great--
Kelly, you really were.

What a great performance!

Kelly, do the bit again.

What?

The little girl's voice--

There wasn't any little girl.

I tell you, it gave me
goose bumps!

Come on, do the little
girl's voice--
Hey!

I don't know what
you're talking about.

Nothing happened at all.

If you really must know,
it was so dull

I think I went to sleep.

Hey, Kelly, come on.
Calm down. We know you're tired.

I'm tired too.

Boy, I'm telling you
that little old lady's

about to drive me
into the ground!

Oh, you're kidding!
No.

She's either got some kind
of a secret source of energy,

or a roaring metabolism.

Hey, what about her friends?
Any kinky types?

Well, you know.
I don't know.

There's kinky
and there's kinky.

My money is still
on that Frenchy chauffeur.

Oh, come on, Bos,
he dyes his hair,

and he leers a little bit,
but that's about all.

I'll walk you to the door.

No need to. I'm quite
all right, thank you.

I know you're all right,
Kelly. I just--

You'll feel better after
a good night's sleep.

Will you stop
big-sistering me!

I'm fine.
Good night.

Good night.

What happened back there anyway?

I don't know.

I mean, it started out like
your simple, basic seance.

And then Kelly went
into her act.

At least I thought
it was an act.

I mean, she was really terrific.

Okay, go on.

Well, she went
into this little girl's voice.

It was really spooky.

What did she say?

Something about Beamish.

And Lilibet.

And a dark closet.

And she doesn't remember?

No. That's what scares me.

Well, maybe a couple
of good night's sleep,

and she'll be fine.

Thanks a lot, Doctor Bosley.

You know, could be
that Madam Lazonga

really did get through
to the spirits,

and then used Kelly's voice
to communicate with us.

Drive, Bosley.

Just an idea.

Another arrival on time.

Okay, I'll see you
in the morning.

All right.

You know, I really don't think
we should have left Kelly alone.

Yeah, I was thinking
the same thing.

You know, it'll probably
wake her up,

but I think I'll give her
a call before I go to sleep.

Okay. Will you call me?

Sure will.
Good night.

No--

No--

No, please don't, Beamish.

Please, no, no.

Don't make me go
in the dark closet.

No, Beamish.
No.

Please-- Please.

No-- Don't take her away
Beamish, please.

Please, Beamish.

Please let me have Lilibet--

Let me have Lilibet.

Lilibet--

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

Hello?

[MUSIC BOX PLAYING]

TERRENCE:
Kelly, Beamish wants you.

You will come here at once.

Do you understand?

[BUSY SIGNAL]

Jill? I think
there's something wrong.

I've been trying to call Kelly
for the last 10 minutes

and I get a busy signal.

No, no, no. I checked
with the phone company.

The phone's off the hook.

Yeah, well, I think one of us
ought to go over there.

Okay, all right,
both of us, then.

Right. I'll meet you
in a few minutes.

Miss Ostling.

Miss Ostling?

My name is Kelly.

Well, that's what
I'll call you then,

because we are going
to become very good friends.

I could help you
with your problems, Kelly,

advise you as your father would,
if he were here. Hm?

Yes.

Of course,

I'll need to know all
about your financial affairs.

Who handles them?

A bank?

A corporation?

Your lawyer?

No.

What do you have, a trust fund?

Stocks and bonds?

Jewelry?

Just my savings.

Your savings?

All right.

Let's just talk about
your childhood for a while.

No. I don't want to.

Why not?

Because of Beamish?

Who was she?

Your governess?

No--

A housekeeper?

Your stepmother?

Matron.

Matron?

In the orphanage.

You were never--

Your father died only
last year, didn't he?

Didn't he?

I never knew my father.

What do you mean
you never knew him?

I never knew him.

L. Burton Ostling.
Ostling Oil.

No.

He wasn't your father?

I made it up.

Oh, my God, it's a setup.

I've been set up.

You're a plant.

Oh, man, I thought I could spot
one a mile away.

I'll say this for you, honey.
You've got a class act there.

Who are you anyway.
A cop?

No.

No?

Bunco squad?
You bunco?

No.

Okay, you're not bunco squad,
you're not a cop.

Who do you work for?

Charles Townsend
Detective Agency.

Private detectives?

Your blond friend too?

Jill Munroe.

Listen to me.

Do you want me
to call Beamish in?

No! No, please don't!

Do you know
who Beamish really is?

Matron.

Yes, but now she calls herself
Jill Munroe.

No--
Yes.

It's her cover name.
And she's disguised too.

If you look very carefully you
will see

that she's really Beamish.

No.

Oh, there's no need
to be frightened.

I'm going to protect you.

I can fix it so that Beamish
will never bother you again.

Would you like me to do that?

Yes.
All right, I will.

I'm going to give you
a phone number.

The next time you see her,
the moment you see her,

you will call me.

I will tell you
exactly what to do.

It's the only way that you'll
ever be safe from Beamish.

You will go home.

You will remember nothing,
save what I have told you to do.

Kelly?

Kelly?

The phone's off the hook
and she's gone.

So's her car.
Okay.

All right, where could she go
at 4:00 in the morning?

I don't know where--
I don't know why.

I mean, it must have
all started with that seance.

I figure that's where
it's got to lead back to.

Let's go.

Terrence?

What?

Oh, I thought you'd gone
to bed hours ago.

I couldn't sleep because
of very powerful vibrations.

I didn't understand them,
but I knew something was wrong.

I listened to you
and that girl.

Oh, saves me having
to explain it to you.

Explain what, Terrence?

Time to cut and run.

But why?

Why?

Because that girl
is a private detective.

Because after her
the real cops come.

Look, Doris,
the game is over.

What are you talking about?

I haven't done
anything against the law.

I have nothing to fear
from the police.

Yeah, well, I've had
a few things going on the side.

What do you mean, what things?

It doesn't matter.

Listen, we had a good run.

We both made a few bucks, right?

Maybe we can open
in a new location.

But in this city
we've had it.

So pack up before
it's too late.

But what about all my people?

I mean, they need me.

How can they get through
to their departed ones?

My God, she's conned herself.

Doris, come out of the fog.

There are no spirits!

Oh!

What a dreadful thing to say.

It was a fake!

I did it. All of it.

I was the bell ringer,
the tambourine shaker,

the voices in the trumpet.

The whole works,
that was me. Remember?

I'm not talking
about those tricks.

They're just atmosphere.

But you couldn't have made
Miss Ostling revert

to her childhood.

Look, you dizzy old bag,
I hypnotized her.

Just like that Grace Rodeheaver.

I've got here programmed
to cover us while we get away.

I don't know why you're doing
these things, Terrence,

but I've got no reason to run.

Okay, do what you want.
I'm going home to pack.

Operator?

I want to call the police.

Okay.

Looks like they've gone.

Here's Kelly's purse.

You sure?
Yeah, I'm positive.

All right, we better
search the whole house.

Hey, I can't get
the lights on out here.

Wait just a second.

She's dead.

We've got to find Kelly.

Let's go!

Sabrina, if Kelly drove
her car here,

why would she leave
without her purse and her car?

Maybe she didn't
have any choice.

I'll follow you to Kelly's.

Who is it?

Kelly?

Oh, Sabrina?

Wait just a minute.

Hey!

You okay?

Sure.

Where've you been?

Right here.

I just got up. Why?

Um, well, I--

I just try-- I just tried
to call, that's all.

About what?

We have a case to solve,
you know.

Could you make some coffee?

Sure. Wait just a minute.

Thanks.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

That'll be Jill.
I'll let her in.

Okay.

Come on.

She's here, but, um--

But what?

I don't know.

She, she doesn't remember
she was gone.

Oh, come on.

I'm not kidding.

It's like she's been
brainwashed,

or I don't know,
hypnotized or something.

Oh, Bree, wait.

You don't think
she could be made

to do anything bad,
do you?

No, no, no, no, no.

Not as long as she
understood that it was bad.

Listen, I tell you what,
why don't you

stay here with her.

I'm going to get back
to Mrs. Rodeheaver's house.

I got a feeling this whole thing
is about to explode.

Hey, wait.
What?

She doesn't even remember
leaving this?

Remember leaving it?
She doesn't remember anything,

are you kidding?

I'll see you later, okay?
Okay.

Kelly, I'm here.

Hi.
Hi.

Watch the coffee,
I'll be back in a minute.

Sure.

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

Hello?

Oh, yes, Kelly.

Yes, I knew you'd see through
Beamish's disguise.

Yes, I'll tell you
what to do

so that she'll
never bother you again.

Yes. Yes, I know where it is.

Then don't wait--
Do it right now.

Do it quickly, very quickly.

Hey, what's for breakfast?

I got a big hole in my stomach.

There's no food.
We'll have to go out.

I know a place.

Come on.

What's the matter with you?

I'm fine.
Come on.

Mrs. Rodeheaver,
something very strange

just happened
to Kelly and I--

I'm downstairs now.

Yes.

I understand.

Very well, if that's
what I must do.

Hey, Kel, I'm hungry,
but not that hungry.

Kelly!

Kelly, please!

Kelly!

Are you afraid, Beamish?

Beamish?

Hey, listen, Kelly.

Will you listen to me?

Hey, look at me--
No, don't look at me.

Just keep your eyes on the road,

and slow down.

Listen to what I'm going to say.

I'm not Beamish.

I'm Jill.

Remember?
Your best friend, Jill.

Beamish.

Kelly!

Kelly, try to understand this,
the bridge is out.

We're going to crack up.

You can't wipe out Beamish
without destroying yourself.

Kelly, you're going
to kill us both.

And that's what Beamish wants--
She wants us both dead.

Oh, okay.

However it is, I just want you
to know, I love you--

And Sabrina loves you.

And Lilibet loves you.

Lilibet?

Where is Lilibet?

That's right! Lilibet.

You forgot her--
You left her at home.

We have to go back and get her.

That's right, slow down,

a little more.

Kelly, hit the brakes!

Oh, Jill. Jill,
I nearly killed you.

Hey, us.

Kelly, you were here too!

Oh, Kelly, Kelly, it's okay.

I'm sorry.

[TELEPHONE BUZZING]

It's probably Bree.

Your timing is not too hot.

Jill, listen, tell me all about
it when you get here--

Just get here fast!

35. I'll never go faster
than 35 as long as I live.

Just hurry, okay?

We'll hurry.

Okay, Kelly, that's Sabrina.

We've got to go.
I'm going to drive.

I'm really very tired, Sabrina.

Why can't I go back to bed?

Because I think you're going
to have a visitor very soon.

A visitor? I can't receive
anyone like this.

Oh, he won't mind.

I will-- He?
Who?

Your burglar.

At least that's what
he is technically,

even if he uses gullible ladies
to do his work for him.

Gullible--? If you're referring
to me, I resent that.

You have no right
to say such things.

Now, Mrs. Ro--
Listen!

[CAR APPROACHING]

Could you come over here
for a minute, please?

What do you want?

Do you recognize that man?

Why, it's Terrence!

Madam Dorian's assistant?

Yes.

[HORN HONKING]

Get out the way, back up!

You got no place to go,
the cops are on their way.

Leave her alone.

Haven't you done
enough harm, Beamish?

What?

You're evil, Beamish.

Wait.

Kelly, this isn't what
I told you to do.

I have to destroy you.

That's the only way I'll
ever be rid of you, Beamish.

Wake up, Kelly! When I count
to three you will wake up.

1...

2...

Now you wait here.

She's out of control.

Do something,
she'll kill me.

Kelly!

I have to destroy Beamish.

I have to do it.

Kelly, if he confesses
to everything,

will you put the gun down?

I'll confess, what do you
want me to say?

Where's the jewelry you
stole from Mrs. Rodeheaver?

In my van.

All right.
How many other people

did you rob
with this hypnosis trick?

Two. Just two,
you want their names?

I'll give you their names.

Did you kill Madam Dorian?

I didn't mean to.
It was an accident.

Look, will you take
that gun away from her?

Kelly!

Kelly.

Kelly, will you give
Jill the gun?

Sure thing, kiddo.

Now that was a performance.

You get my vote.

It's the best performance

in a situation trance
I've ever seen.

CHARLIE:
How are you feeling, Kelly?

Kelly?

Oh, it's all a matter
of information, Charlie.

You figure out what's happening,
it can't scare you.

We've been doing some research
on the intricacies

of the human psyche.

Fascinating place, the psyche.

Okay to visit once in a while,

but you wouldn't
want to live there.

Well put, Charlie.

By the way, Charlie,
the case

against Terrence the Terrible
is proceeding nicely.

Looks like there won't be any
problem getting a conviction.

Mrs. Rodeheaver called me,
she was very pleased.

Oh, by the way, Sabrina,
she wants you

to join her
yoga class.

Pass. I cannot keep up with her
action. I am not old enough.

Pity. Personally, I like
grown-up games.

Bye, Angels.