Cash Register (2018–…): Season 3, Episode 9 - Another Friday at the Supermarket - full transcript
Franco gets into trouble with the Shabbat shopping again. Amnon fights for his right to also buy the newspaper for 1 shekel.
"Checkout"
It will never come to pass!
-It will come to pass!
It will never come to pass!
-Hey! Hey! Hey!
It will never come to pass!
-Hey, quiet...
It will come to pass!
-You're shouting...
It will never come to pass!
-It will come to pass, how 'bout that?
Kohava and Amnon...
-It will come to pass! -No shouting!
"It will come to pass," he says!
-No shouting, no shouting. Center.
What happened?
-What happened?!
What happened?!
Her and her "what happened" again.
Now I'm a storyteller?
Stay at the registers,
you'll know what happened.
Something will happen, I assure you.
Your outstanding cashier
doesn't tell me about the specials.
That's what happened
I don't do the groin area
in winter either.
I don't do things that are futile.
Koh...
Alright...
Um...
Okay, specials.
Amnon, do you want...
garbage bags? -For how much?
Uh... Kohava, how much?
Kohava.
Ibtisam, how much
for the garbage bags on sale?
Don't tell her. -Ibtisam.
-Don't. -I'm the manager, tell me.
Don't be afraid, I'm the manager.
I'm the manager here!
Don't tell her.
-Ibtisam, tell me how much.
Don't tell her.
-I'm the manager.
Two for 16.90. -Thank you.
-Traitor!
Two for 16.90.
-16.90?
For an item I toss
in the garbage as it is?
I can take the 16.90
and toss it in the garbage,
who needs the middleman?
It's exactly the same special!
A special... what special?
No way, what are the odds
he won't want it?
What else? -What else...
We have tuna,
two packs of tuna... for 19.90.
Not interested.
-Not interested.
We have a desk fan for 29.90.
Not interested.
-Not interested.
Toilet bowl cleaner for 7.90?
Yellow? Am I an idiot?
I'll flush and it'll leave
this yellow foam.
Someone will think I didn't flush.
What good is that?
Go on, go on,
I feel this is going somewhere.
What's that? -What?
-That, that.
This? -Yes.
-A newspaper for one shekel.
One shekel?
-One shekel.
One shekel?
A newspaper for one shekel.
-I don't believe it.
I don't believe it. Stop everything!
-No, Amnon...
Stop everything!
Cease activities!
Stop everything!
Stop the traffic on the highway!
-No... -Issue a press release!
At "Issachar Bounty" in Yavne,
finally a reasonable sale!
So you want it?
-And how.
You see, Kohava?
Was that so hard?
It's all about being pleasant.
So, a bountiful day to everyone!
I like newspapers.
I used to read them a lot.
Until she canceled the subscription,
that... cowardly miser.
Amnon, she is your mother...
My mother? No.
The pudgy neighbor.
I'd get up at 4 a.m.,
take the paper from her door,
read it with the yogurt
and return it before she got up.
But then she canceled the subscription.
Pudgy and miserly.
My favorite is the column
at the end of the paper...
the...
that cute one.
Hold on...
what's it called?
It's all these squares.
It's fun..
Squares?
You mean Sudoku?
Hold on, hold on.
Obituaries.
Just thinking about it
makes me smile.
"Issachar Bounty"
What's up, meringue layer?
"What's up?" Where are you?
We have to leave,
it's a three hour drive.
Last week, Shirley said
the scariest three words ever
Family camping weekend.
48 hours with Moran Sapir
and Moran Jibli
and their sucky husbands, Snore and Snoozy.
It's unbelievable,
it's as if she picks her friends based
on how boring their husbands are.
"What does your husband do?
He's a tax clerk? Awesome!
"Friday at your place."
Like that.
Sweetie, relax.
We'll be there on time.
I'm going to the supermarket
to get the meat, the disposables...
You haven't been yet?! -Babe,
you sent me to get a tent from Parselani.
I 'said, supermarket first!
Supermarket first!
Honestly Franco,
it's a madhouse in there.
It's Friday,
you'll never find a parking spot.
Shirley, my beauty, my lovely,
my fluffy feather,
have you forgotten
who you're talking to?
"Parking master."
My mother says that in nursery school,
as soon as we arrived, summer or winter,
Nathan Franco would always, but always,
find a hook to hang his bag on.
And this is when there were only
some 7-8 hooks in nursery. If that.
Is it luck or do you have a system?
-I don't know if I'd call it a system.
It's more a mental state of mind.
I call it "Tiger mode."
It's when you wait in the car
like a tiger stalking its prey,
You drive real slow, cat-like,
trying to detect the weaker zebras,
the ones with keys in their hands.
You leaving, brother?
-No.
How about you, going out?
Kind of... it's still fresh.
From the parking lot, bro.
-Ah, no.
Then put the keys in your pocket!
Why build up false hopes?
And I'm demonstrating a system,
have some respect. Cameras and all that.
And she said I wouldn't buy.
19.20.
19.20?
You asked how old you look,
I said 19.20.
Your bill!
19.20!
-19.20? How?
The wings, 2.20.
You only bought one wing?
It's my right.
One wing, 2.20.
The newspaper, 17.
Together that's an even 19.20.
Shall I explain it on my fingers?
But it says "Newspaper one shekel"!
Asterisk, Amnon.
Amnon, Asterisk.
"On a purchase of NIS 100 or more".
An asterisk?
The sign of the devil.
They put up a huge sign:
"Special! 70% off the entire store"
and then this tiny asterisk.
"Not including dairy products,
pastries, veggies and meat."
Then what's the discount on,
the asterisk? I hate asterisks.
And Kohavas.
Oh, there you go. Nothing is fate.
100 shekels? -Or more.
Don't forget the "or more."
This is unheard of!
Is it my fault I live on my own?
That I don't spawn kids
who destroy the public space?
Instead of saying thank you,
you discriminate against me?
This is demographic discrimination.
-Are you done?
It's not over until it's over.
"It's not over until it's over,"
are you some cartoon villain?
Your summary, Mrs. Yitzhaki?
Uh... Mom lost her voice.
She was on a field trip with me.
Oh yeah, Morale?
Naughty you.
Mom says you shouldn't fight,
because everyone's friends here.
Really?
-You think?
She said "disgusting."
-Phew.
The worm didn't fall far from the apple.
"Issachar Bounty"
The secret of the mode
is activating all tiger senses at once,
because a zebra
could come out of nowhere.
Or in our case, a hen.
Are you leaving the parking lot, Ma'am?
-Yes. -After you, then.
Once you detected the hen,
you wait for the right moment
and then...
a bite to the neck.
I heard you! I heard you! And who are you
snitching to? It's just you and me.
What's going on with her?
Yes?
-Hi. -Hi.
It's me from before.
You said you're leaving.
Ah, yes, but I just got a video
that I want to watch. -Ah.
And the video can't be postponed?
I'm just suggesting,
how about you leave first
and then watch this important video?
While I'm driving?
Risk my life for a stranger?
No way, not at all.
"No way, not at all"?
What's wrong with just "no way"?
Forget that, what's wrong with "no"?
No is no, you can't expand "no."
It's like zero,
there's no zero at all.
Zero is zero!
There... it's over.
I can see, the video's over.
The video's over.
I want to see if I'm in the "thank yous."
Finally.
Hey. Hey!
Hey.
Hey!
In the jungle,
sometimes there are hyenas,
all kinds of freeloaders
that try to seize the prey that you caught.
You have to clarify
who's on top of the food chain.
Is there a problem, bro?
No, bro.
I wish you well, bro.
A protest passed by,
I'm supporting the struggle.
We support your just struggle!
It's important to voice support.
And sometimes the hyena
turns out to be half lion,
half crocodile, half building,
so you give him your prey.
I told you, a jungle.
"Issachar Bounty"
We'll come over, we will.
Bye.
Amnon, what are you doing?
-It's alright, I'm just looking.
Sorry, no "just looking."
You want, "just looking"?
You buy.
That's the service
the newspaper provides, the looking.
You bought a wing, look.
Leaf through it, turn the page,
maybe there's something intriguing,
maybe there's a poster in the middle.
You want "just looking"?
You buy.
Over my dead body.
People pay one shekel,
I'll buy it for 17?
How will I look myself in the mirror?
-How could-you up till now?
143.
You see?
She deserves one.
She's no mule.
Would you like a newspaper
for one shekel? -No, thank you.
Maybe just a little mule.
Titinsky.
Amnon Titinsky.
Wow, what a noble handshake.
Look, I don't usually do this,
but could you buy this newspaper
for me for one shekel?
I'll pay you back in cash on the spot.
-Don't do it. -You be quiet!
I'm sure you'll find it in your heart
to help a person in distress.
It's... a matter of principle.
Okay then,
we'll buy the newspaper too.
Thank you so much..
there are no people like you.
You're all heart.
Take a lesson.
-Why don't you want the paper, sweetie?
We don't read it, but thank you.
What are you doing? -Not to read,
to put in the veggie drawer,
to absorb the moisture
instead of all that gross grass.
-Really, thank you.
She doesn't want to.
-For the astrology?
We don't believe in that.
-They don't believe in that.
You're a tough pistachio.
Uh... All you need to know
about incontinence?
Dan Dan Paziali about life in prison?
A recipe for zucchini quiche?
Show me that. -A zucchini quiche gal, huh?
-Might as well.
A thousand apologies, really.
-What?
I'll take the paper.
To that we say: Checkmate.
Ladies and Gentlemen,
we're flying over "Issachar Bounty."
Look out the right window
and you'll see Amnon Titinsky
crying like a little girl.
Thank you for flying Kohava.
Damn straight!
Why the false turn on?
Why not put a scarecrow?
Decorative lights,
a fire inscription: "Handicap Parking"?
Oh, finally!
Oh man.
Here we go, here we go.
"The one who believes gives up not
on looking for parking
"because we have the king of the world,
Franco the great!"
No way, no way.
Hey, whoa!
No, no way, no way.
Bro, bro, brother.
-What, man?
Could you move the vehicle?
-Why, didn't I park right?
No, you parked fine, it's just...
it's just... -Just what, bro?
Nothing, never mind.
-Talk to me, just what?
It's just, you have a parking spot,
why not use it? -"You"?
I don't get it. -Why not park
in a regular spot? -Regular?!
You're saying I'm not regular?
-That's not what I said.
I apologize, Mr. Regular.
-Bro, I...
I mean, I don't park in your spot,
why do you park in ours?
I can park wherever I want!
-Exactly, and I can't. I mean...
it's like Superman traveling by plane
and taking up a handicap seat.
I'm handicapped?
-No, bro, you're Superman!
You have super-powers,
I'm the handicapped one!
Bro.
Bro, bro, move the van.
Buzz off, psycho.
-I said, move the van! Please...
Get out of my way!
-Move the van already!
What do you want?
-Listen up, move the van, I'll...
You're privileged, that's what you are!
Parasite!
Damn, she's gonna kill me.
So there are bugs in the system, huh?
You don't like me, do you?
-What?
You have something against me,
I can feel it. In my gut.
It's the third season I've held it in.
You have an axe to grind. -Wow...
I don't... Man, I'm so sorry
if you interpreted it that way,
I don't... No.
-Listen, it's fine, bro.
It's all good,
what's yours is yours.
I'm not crazy about you either.
"Issachar Bounty"
What do you say, dear man?
I would, bro,
but there's no way I'll get to 100.
70 at the most, if I push it.
70? You come all this way
for a purchase of 70 shekels?
Look at all these AA products.
Look, exotic color.
No, I don't need that.
Garbage bags on sale,
extra strong. -Dude...
It's a crime not to get them.
Dude, I don't need them.
Fine, fine.
How about this?
-I don't need it.
I think you do.
-I don't need it!
Please let me through.
-Then just say "no..."
What a... mule. -I'm a mule?
-What's a mule got to do with it?
Franco, where are you?
-Shirley, I'm... super...
there's no sig... nal.
The lines... are in... sane..
Excuse me?
Are you leaving?
Uh.... yes. But I parked pretty far, so...
-To the moon and back for you.
So... I'm over there, you can...
-Hold on. You know what?
I'll give you a lift.
You won't carry, I'll park in your spot.
Win win circulation.
Um... okay.
Just a second.
And... done.
Nice to meet you, Nathan.
-Hi, Tamara. -Hi there.
You won't kidnap me
and kill me, right?
No way, I'm a family man.
-Okay.
Uh... the car's over there.
-It's okay, I'm just turning around.
Super supermarket, huh?
-Yes. -Shopping.
Sales.
Nice one, goalie!
What... what are you doing?
-Ah, no, change of plans.
Are you serious?
Now I'm really far.
Don't take it personally,
parking is a jungle.
I'm in tiger mode. -You listen to me,
if you don't take me to my car,
I'm gonna scream so loud
you won't know what hit you.
No, no, I know, I know.
Plan B, you wait in the car,
10-20 minutes tops, I shop, come back,
take you to your car. Cool?
I'll leave the a/c on,
you got the radio.
You can smoke too.
Who cares about the kids?
Help! He kidnapped me!
-Whoa whoa! Quiet, quiet.
Go.
What could I do?
You know the saying,
a remote parking spot in the hand
is better than a night behind bars.
Here, here. Can you stop here?
That's my car, the orange one.
You're kidding me.
That's your car?
Yes, the orange one.
-This one? This is your car?
Yes, what's the problem?
I've been driving around for 20 minutes.
That's your car, that scooter?
-Don't "tut" me. Can't you assess a size?
Big, small? Didn't they
teach you that in kindergarten?
A car is a car.
-"A car is a car."
Enjoy the trip.
-Awesome. Enjoy your alone.
Idiot.
Alright already!
Be quiet!
Shut your red, filthy mouth!
Be quiet! Be quiet!
Here. You want?
Here, here.
Here, here, here, here,
here, here, here, here.
You happy now?!
Good!
It's all good.
I wanna see someone
open their mouth now.
There we go.
There we go.
That's done.
Thank you very much,
let's see someone say anything.
Let's see someone say anything.
Let's see.
Naomi.
Naomi, please.
I'm not just anyone, Naomi.
Please, after all we've been through.
Naomi.
Naomi, please look at me.
Please, Naomi.
Please, Naomi.
Alright already.
Thank you, Naomi.
My God! Look, look, look!
I'm freaking out,
look what we have this week.
The interview with the Ethiopian model,
Ayinu Masala,
"From the slums to the cover of Vogue".
-I'm taking that too.
What?
-One's will must be respected, etc.
Sorry, not on purpose.
Have a good weekend, pal.
-You too, I'll see you on Friday.
Dear customers,
it's with sadness and gloom
that I must inform you
that the supermarket will close
in the next few minutes.
Everyone make their way
to the cash registers.
Yours, Ramzi Abed Ramzi.
One, two,
one, two, three, four.
"Peace be unto you,
ministering angels..."
Ramzi, that's enough!
All was lost,
I was deep, deep in the ground,
the undertaker tightened the soil
above me with a hoe.
But then, boom!
I came back to life!
Wow, some cart.
I was never happier to see...
a man like that... you know,
with an appearance... you know.
You saw him!
What's he going to do with a newspaper
in Hebrew? That newspaper is mine.
Whoa whoa, what's up?
My man.
My name is Amnon.
You see dis paper?
It's one shekel.
It's a "mivtzah," operation.
Can you buy me?
I bring you one shekel, it's okay?
It's okay, one shekel?
Yes, of course. -Yeah!
No! No! No! No! Please,
read, read, read, read.
Read paper, read paper,
it's interesting,
it's news and jokes and stories and...
-I no read Hebrew.
I Google translate you!
Really! -Kohava...
-I'll come to your place...
Kohava, you're embarrassing me,
let go of the paper.
You see an ugly man.
-Let go.
Don't be a sore loser.
Kohava, let go! -Oh hell!
Yeah!
My man!
To that we say: Checkmate.
I give you one shekel.
"Peace be unto you,
ministering angels above."
Parking master
or not parking master?
Whoa!
Hey!
Hey, hey! No, no, no! No, no, no, no!
Disconnect it,
I'm moving the car.
It's already attached, bro,
and I wrote the ticket.
My man, beautiful soul,
I'm begging you.
My wife's been waiting for two hours.
I'm on probation with her.
It's not the car that you're towing,
it's my marriage.
You tow the car,
you tow my marriage with it!
I don't know, bro,
this is my second day on the job.
Then call your boss, bro.
Call your boss. Please, bro.
You know what? I'll talk to my boss.
-You rock, thanks.
Lioz?
I got someone here
who wants me to give him a break.
60 Weizmann Street.
Great, awesome.
Well?
-He's nearby, he'll be right here.
You rock, bro. Thanks.
Thanks.
Oh, here he is.
Look who we have here.
Bro, bro, I'm so sorry.
Really, bygones, forgotten.
I don't remember a thing.
Why did we even argue? Who argued, bro?
Why would I argue with you?
I'm a man of peace, not war, bro.
So are you, you're nice, bro.
It was a stressful day,
you know, Friday, chaos,
family, parents, kids.
Bro, gimme a break.
Please gimme a break,
please, please, please.
Put it up there.
Shai, hoist it up.
Privileged, that's what you are!
Privileged!
That's what you are!
Here's a man with...
You're privileged!
I have a newspaper!
I have a newspaper!
To that we say:
Checkmate sandals!
You have a newspaper without obits!
Have a nice, blessed weekend!
You're an evil person!
Drive safe.
-You're an evil person!
Gigangen! Gigangen!
What? I don't understand.
Let's figure out what he's saying.
No fly here, but keep swatting.
I'm going to Pilates soon.
It will never come to pass!
-It will come to pass!
It will never come to pass!
-Hey! Hey! Hey!
It will never come to pass!
-Hey, quiet...
It will come to pass!
-You're shouting...
It will never come to pass!
-It will come to pass, how 'bout that?
Kohava and Amnon...
-It will come to pass! -No shouting!
"It will come to pass," he says!
-No shouting, no shouting. Center.
What happened?
-What happened?!
What happened?!
Her and her "what happened" again.
Now I'm a storyteller?
Stay at the registers,
you'll know what happened.
Something will happen, I assure you.
Your outstanding cashier
doesn't tell me about the specials.
That's what happened
I don't do the groin area
in winter either.
I don't do things that are futile.
Koh...
Alright...
Um...
Okay, specials.
Amnon, do you want...
garbage bags? -For how much?
Uh... Kohava, how much?
Kohava.
Ibtisam, how much
for the garbage bags on sale?
Don't tell her. -Ibtisam.
-Don't. -I'm the manager, tell me.
Don't be afraid, I'm the manager.
I'm the manager here!
Don't tell her.
-Ibtisam, tell me how much.
Don't tell her.
-I'm the manager.
Two for 16.90. -Thank you.
-Traitor!
Two for 16.90.
-16.90?
For an item I toss
in the garbage as it is?
I can take the 16.90
and toss it in the garbage,
who needs the middleman?
It's exactly the same special!
A special... what special?
No way, what are the odds
he won't want it?
What else? -What else...
We have tuna,
two packs of tuna... for 19.90.
Not interested.
-Not interested.
We have a desk fan for 29.90.
Not interested.
-Not interested.
Toilet bowl cleaner for 7.90?
Yellow? Am I an idiot?
I'll flush and it'll leave
this yellow foam.
Someone will think I didn't flush.
What good is that?
Go on, go on,
I feel this is going somewhere.
What's that? -What?
-That, that.
This? -Yes.
-A newspaper for one shekel.
One shekel?
-One shekel.
One shekel?
A newspaper for one shekel.
-I don't believe it.
I don't believe it. Stop everything!
-No, Amnon...
Stop everything!
Cease activities!
Stop everything!
Stop the traffic on the highway!
-No... -Issue a press release!
At "Issachar Bounty" in Yavne,
finally a reasonable sale!
So you want it?
-And how.
You see, Kohava?
Was that so hard?
It's all about being pleasant.
So, a bountiful day to everyone!
I like newspapers.
I used to read them a lot.
Until she canceled the subscription,
that... cowardly miser.
Amnon, she is your mother...
My mother? No.
The pudgy neighbor.
I'd get up at 4 a.m.,
take the paper from her door,
read it with the yogurt
and return it before she got up.
But then she canceled the subscription.
Pudgy and miserly.
My favorite is the column
at the end of the paper...
the...
that cute one.
Hold on...
what's it called?
It's all these squares.
It's fun..
Squares?
You mean Sudoku?
Hold on, hold on.
Obituaries.
Just thinking about it
makes me smile.
"Issachar Bounty"
What's up, meringue layer?
"What's up?" Where are you?
We have to leave,
it's a three hour drive.
Last week, Shirley said
the scariest three words ever
Family camping weekend.
48 hours with Moran Sapir
and Moran Jibli
and their sucky husbands, Snore and Snoozy.
It's unbelievable,
it's as if she picks her friends based
on how boring their husbands are.
"What does your husband do?
He's a tax clerk? Awesome!
"Friday at your place."
Like that.
Sweetie, relax.
We'll be there on time.
I'm going to the supermarket
to get the meat, the disposables...
You haven't been yet?! -Babe,
you sent me to get a tent from Parselani.
I 'said, supermarket first!
Supermarket first!
Honestly Franco,
it's a madhouse in there.
It's Friday,
you'll never find a parking spot.
Shirley, my beauty, my lovely,
my fluffy feather,
have you forgotten
who you're talking to?
"Parking master."
My mother says that in nursery school,
as soon as we arrived, summer or winter,
Nathan Franco would always, but always,
find a hook to hang his bag on.
And this is when there were only
some 7-8 hooks in nursery. If that.
Is it luck or do you have a system?
-I don't know if I'd call it a system.
It's more a mental state of mind.
I call it "Tiger mode."
It's when you wait in the car
like a tiger stalking its prey,
You drive real slow, cat-like,
trying to detect the weaker zebras,
the ones with keys in their hands.
You leaving, brother?
-No.
How about you, going out?
Kind of... it's still fresh.
From the parking lot, bro.
-Ah, no.
Then put the keys in your pocket!
Why build up false hopes?
And I'm demonstrating a system,
have some respect. Cameras and all that.
And she said I wouldn't buy.
19.20.
19.20?
You asked how old you look,
I said 19.20.
Your bill!
19.20!
-19.20? How?
The wings, 2.20.
You only bought one wing?
It's my right.
One wing, 2.20.
The newspaper, 17.
Together that's an even 19.20.
Shall I explain it on my fingers?
But it says "Newspaper one shekel"!
Asterisk, Amnon.
Amnon, Asterisk.
"On a purchase of NIS 100 or more".
An asterisk?
The sign of the devil.
They put up a huge sign:
"Special! 70% off the entire store"
and then this tiny asterisk.
"Not including dairy products,
pastries, veggies and meat."
Then what's the discount on,
the asterisk? I hate asterisks.
And Kohavas.
Oh, there you go. Nothing is fate.
100 shekels? -Or more.
Don't forget the "or more."
This is unheard of!
Is it my fault I live on my own?
That I don't spawn kids
who destroy the public space?
Instead of saying thank you,
you discriminate against me?
This is demographic discrimination.
-Are you done?
It's not over until it's over.
"It's not over until it's over,"
are you some cartoon villain?
Your summary, Mrs. Yitzhaki?
Uh... Mom lost her voice.
She was on a field trip with me.
Oh yeah, Morale?
Naughty you.
Mom says you shouldn't fight,
because everyone's friends here.
Really?
-You think?
She said "disgusting."
-Phew.
The worm didn't fall far from the apple.
"Issachar Bounty"
The secret of the mode
is activating all tiger senses at once,
because a zebra
could come out of nowhere.
Or in our case, a hen.
Are you leaving the parking lot, Ma'am?
-Yes. -After you, then.
Once you detected the hen,
you wait for the right moment
and then...
a bite to the neck.
I heard you! I heard you! And who are you
snitching to? It's just you and me.
What's going on with her?
Yes?
-Hi. -Hi.
It's me from before.
You said you're leaving.
Ah, yes, but I just got a video
that I want to watch. -Ah.
And the video can't be postponed?
I'm just suggesting,
how about you leave first
and then watch this important video?
While I'm driving?
Risk my life for a stranger?
No way, not at all.
"No way, not at all"?
What's wrong with just "no way"?
Forget that, what's wrong with "no"?
No is no, you can't expand "no."
It's like zero,
there's no zero at all.
Zero is zero!
There... it's over.
I can see, the video's over.
The video's over.
I want to see if I'm in the "thank yous."
Finally.
Hey. Hey!
Hey.
Hey!
In the jungle,
sometimes there are hyenas,
all kinds of freeloaders
that try to seize the prey that you caught.
You have to clarify
who's on top of the food chain.
Is there a problem, bro?
No, bro.
I wish you well, bro.
A protest passed by,
I'm supporting the struggle.
We support your just struggle!
It's important to voice support.
And sometimes the hyena
turns out to be half lion,
half crocodile, half building,
so you give him your prey.
I told you, a jungle.
"Issachar Bounty"
We'll come over, we will.
Bye.
Amnon, what are you doing?
-It's alright, I'm just looking.
Sorry, no "just looking."
You want, "just looking"?
You buy.
That's the service
the newspaper provides, the looking.
You bought a wing, look.
Leaf through it, turn the page,
maybe there's something intriguing,
maybe there's a poster in the middle.
You want "just looking"?
You buy.
Over my dead body.
People pay one shekel,
I'll buy it for 17?
How will I look myself in the mirror?
-How could-you up till now?
143.
You see?
She deserves one.
She's no mule.
Would you like a newspaper
for one shekel? -No, thank you.
Maybe just a little mule.
Titinsky.
Amnon Titinsky.
Wow, what a noble handshake.
Look, I don't usually do this,
but could you buy this newspaper
for me for one shekel?
I'll pay you back in cash on the spot.
-Don't do it. -You be quiet!
I'm sure you'll find it in your heart
to help a person in distress.
It's... a matter of principle.
Okay then,
we'll buy the newspaper too.
Thank you so much..
there are no people like you.
You're all heart.
Take a lesson.
-Why don't you want the paper, sweetie?
We don't read it, but thank you.
What are you doing? -Not to read,
to put in the veggie drawer,
to absorb the moisture
instead of all that gross grass.
-Really, thank you.
She doesn't want to.
-For the astrology?
We don't believe in that.
-They don't believe in that.
You're a tough pistachio.
Uh... All you need to know
about incontinence?
Dan Dan Paziali about life in prison?
A recipe for zucchini quiche?
Show me that. -A zucchini quiche gal, huh?
-Might as well.
A thousand apologies, really.
-What?
I'll take the paper.
To that we say: Checkmate.
Ladies and Gentlemen,
we're flying over "Issachar Bounty."
Look out the right window
and you'll see Amnon Titinsky
crying like a little girl.
Thank you for flying Kohava.
Damn straight!
Why the false turn on?
Why not put a scarecrow?
Decorative lights,
a fire inscription: "Handicap Parking"?
Oh, finally!
Oh man.
Here we go, here we go.
"The one who believes gives up not
on looking for parking
"because we have the king of the world,
Franco the great!"
No way, no way.
Hey, whoa!
No, no way, no way.
Bro, bro, brother.
-What, man?
Could you move the vehicle?
-Why, didn't I park right?
No, you parked fine, it's just...
it's just... -Just what, bro?
Nothing, never mind.
-Talk to me, just what?
It's just, you have a parking spot,
why not use it? -"You"?
I don't get it. -Why not park
in a regular spot? -Regular?!
You're saying I'm not regular?
-That's not what I said.
I apologize, Mr. Regular.
-Bro, I...
I mean, I don't park in your spot,
why do you park in ours?
I can park wherever I want!
-Exactly, and I can't. I mean...
it's like Superman traveling by plane
and taking up a handicap seat.
I'm handicapped?
-No, bro, you're Superman!
You have super-powers,
I'm the handicapped one!
Bro.
Bro, bro, move the van.
Buzz off, psycho.
-I said, move the van! Please...
Get out of my way!
-Move the van already!
What do you want?
-Listen up, move the van, I'll...
You're privileged, that's what you are!
Parasite!
Damn, she's gonna kill me.
So there are bugs in the system, huh?
You don't like me, do you?
-What?
You have something against me,
I can feel it. In my gut.
It's the third season I've held it in.
You have an axe to grind. -Wow...
I don't... Man, I'm so sorry
if you interpreted it that way,
I don't... No.
-Listen, it's fine, bro.
It's all good,
what's yours is yours.
I'm not crazy about you either.
"Issachar Bounty"
What do you say, dear man?
I would, bro,
but there's no way I'll get to 100.
70 at the most, if I push it.
70? You come all this way
for a purchase of 70 shekels?
Look at all these AA products.
Look, exotic color.
No, I don't need that.
Garbage bags on sale,
extra strong. -Dude...
It's a crime not to get them.
Dude, I don't need them.
Fine, fine.
How about this?
-I don't need it.
I think you do.
-I don't need it!
Please let me through.
-Then just say "no..."
What a... mule. -I'm a mule?
-What's a mule got to do with it?
Franco, where are you?
-Shirley, I'm... super...
there's no sig... nal.
The lines... are in... sane..
Excuse me?
Are you leaving?
Uh.... yes. But I parked pretty far, so...
-To the moon and back for you.
So... I'm over there, you can...
-Hold on. You know what?
I'll give you a lift.
You won't carry, I'll park in your spot.
Win win circulation.
Um... okay.
Just a second.
And... done.
Nice to meet you, Nathan.
-Hi, Tamara. -Hi there.
You won't kidnap me
and kill me, right?
No way, I'm a family man.
-Okay.
Uh... the car's over there.
-It's okay, I'm just turning around.
Super supermarket, huh?
-Yes. -Shopping.
Sales.
Nice one, goalie!
What... what are you doing?
-Ah, no, change of plans.
Are you serious?
Now I'm really far.
Don't take it personally,
parking is a jungle.
I'm in tiger mode. -You listen to me,
if you don't take me to my car,
I'm gonna scream so loud
you won't know what hit you.
No, no, I know, I know.
Plan B, you wait in the car,
10-20 minutes tops, I shop, come back,
take you to your car. Cool?
I'll leave the a/c on,
you got the radio.
You can smoke too.
Who cares about the kids?
Help! He kidnapped me!
-Whoa whoa! Quiet, quiet.
Go.
What could I do?
You know the saying,
a remote parking spot in the hand
is better than a night behind bars.
Here, here. Can you stop here?
That's my car, the orange one.
You're kidding me.
That's your car?
Yes, the orange one.
-This one? This is your car?
Yes, what's the problem?
I've been driving around for 20 minutes.
That's your car, that scooter?
-Don't "tut" me. Can't you assess a size?
Big, small? Didn't they
teach you that in kindergarten?
A car is a car.
-"A car is a car."
Enjoy the trip.
-Awesome. Enjoy your alone.
Idiot.
Alright already!
Be quiet!
Shut your red, filthy mouth!
Be quiet! Be quiet!
Here. You want?
Here, here.
Here, here, here, here,
here, here, here, here.
You happy now?!
Good!
It's all good.
I wanna see someone
open their mouth now.
There we go.
There we go.
That's done.
Thank you very much,
let's see someone say anything.
Let's see someone say anything.
Let's see.
Naomi.
Naomi, please.
I'm not just anyone, Naomi.
Please, after all we've been through.
Naomi.
Naomi, please look at me.
Please, Naomi.
Please, Naomi.
Alright already.
Thank you, Naomi.
My God! Look, look, look!
I'm freaking out,
look what we have this week.
The interview with the Ethiopian model,
Ayinu Masala,
"From the slums to the cover of Vogue".
-I'm taking that too.
What?
-One's will must be respected, etc.
Sorry, not on purpose.
Have a good weekend, pal.
-You too, I'll see you on Friday.
Dear customers,
it's with sadness and gloom
that I must inform you
that the supermarket will close
in the next few minutes.
Everyone make their way
to the cash registers.
Yours, Ramzi Abed Ramzi.
One, two,
one, two, three, four.
"Peace be unto you,
ministering angels..."
Ramzi, that's enough!
All was lost,
I was deep, deep in the ground,
the undertaker tightened the soil
above me with a hoe.
But then, boom!
I came back to life!
Wow, some cart.
I was never happier to see...
a man like that... you know,
with an appearance... you know.
You saw him!
What's he going to do with a newspaper
in Hebrew? That newspaper is mine.
Whoa whoa, what's up?
My man.
My name is Amnon.
You see dis paper?
It's one shekel.
It's a "mivtzah," operation.
Can you buy me?
I bring you one shekel, it's okay?
It's okay, one shekel?
Yes, of course. -Yeah!
No! No! No! No! Please,
read, read, read, read.
Read paper, read paper,
it's interesting,
it's news and jokes and stories and...
-I no read Hebrew.
I Google translate you!
Really! -Kohava...
-I'll come to your place...
Kohava, you're embarrassing me,
let go of the paper.
You see an ugly man.
-Let go.
Don't be a sore loser.
Kohava, let go! -Oh hell!
Yeah!
My man!
To that we say: Checkmate.
I give you one shekel.
"Peace be unto you,
ministering angels above."
Parking master
or not parking master?
Whoa!
Hey!
Hey, hey! No, no, no! No, no, no, no!
Disconnect it,
I'm moving the car.
It's already attached, bro,
and I wrote the ticket.
My man, beautiful soul,
I'm begging you.
My wife's been waiting for two hours.
I'm on probation with her.
It's not the car that you're towing,
it's my marriage.
You tow the car,
you tow my marriage with it!
I don't know, bro,
this is my second day on the job.
Then call your boss, bro.
Call your boss. Please, bro.
You know what? I'll talk to my boss.
-You rock, thanks.
Lioz?
I got someone here
who wants me to give him a break.
60 Weizmann Street.
Great, awesome.
Well?
-He's nearby, he'll be right here.
You rock, bro. Thanks.
Thanks.
Oh, here he is.
Look who we have here.
Bro, bro, I'm so sorry.
Really, bygones, forgotten.
I don't remember a thing.
Why did we even argue? Who argued, bro?
Why would I argue with you?
I'm a man of peace, not war, bro.
So are you, you're nice, bro.
It was a stressful day,
you know, Friday, chaos,
family, parents, kids.
Bro, gimme a break.
Please gimme a break,
please, please, please.
Put it up there.
Shai, hoist it up.
Privileged, that's what you are!
Privileged!
That's what you are!
Here's a man with...
You're privileged!
I have a newspaper!
I have a newspaper!
To that we say:
Checkmate sandals!
You have a newspaper without obits!
Have a nice, blessed weekend!
You're an evil person!
Drive safe.
-You're an evil person!
Gigangen! Gigangen!
What? I don't understand.
Let's figure out what he's saying.
No fly here, but keep swatting.
I'm going to Pilates soon.