Cash Register (2018–…): Season 3, Episode 12 - Episode #3.12 - full transcript
Nothing good comes of you.
-I am a history professor, yes?
Help your mother instead of you?
-Well, what do you say?
I'm sorry, I'm fully booked.
It can't be any worse than you.
Come to the meat counter.
I'm coming, no need to yell.
-Another imbecile... -Don't yell.
It's meant to.
Mordechai and I
want to tell you something.
Who's moving in where?!
"Checkout"
"Titinsky's Dad"
Why bubble bath? We have tons.
-Not anymore.
Mom and I finished it this weekend.
Sugar puffs.
I want sugar puffs.
No, no, no.
Why sugar puffs?
Didn't you hear Dr. Skivin?
Do you want to kill yourself?
Has anyone ever died
from sugar puffs? -Yes.
"Doctor, what's the cause of death?
Accident? Murder?
"No, sugar puffs."
Forget this,
on Friday I'll buy you fruit roll-ups.
He'll buy me fruit roll-ups.
Can I watch TV
or should I do my homework first?
Amnon, don't be rude.
Sha. Sha, Ingale.
-No "Ingale"!
You're not my dad, you hear me?!
You're not my dad! -Shhh...
He's not my dad!
"Ingale" he tells me!
Sha, sha,
everyone knows me.
I'll do what I want!
And if I want to eat sugar puffs,
I'll eat sugar puffs, okay?
He thinks he's my dad!
What am I, a 5 year old?
Am I 5 years old? No!
Me, 5 years old? Me?
"In the middle of the day
The red pepper
"Came upon the..."
-Yellow. -Pepper.
Yellow.
"They chatted and played
"And fell into a deep hole"
Batman has Robin,
Banani has Banon
and I have Daisy Neverson,
the sworn assistant.
At times I don't remember
where I end and where he begins.
"So con-fused..
"They rolled,
"Horsing around,
Spending time,
"Embracing
"And...
"So was born the..."
-Orange pepper. -Yes!
"So was born the..."
-Orange pepper. -Yes!
"So was born the orange..."
-Pepper. -Yes!
It works!
It... it works!
Daisy
Daisy
Daisy, it worked.
The compound we made
melted the pigeon poop.
Daisy?
What's this? Why so glum?
Don't tell me the mites
are back in the carton shed.
The beetle?
No, not the roly polies.
"Based on the bureau's decision,
your work visa won't be extended,
"hence you must leave the country
by undermentioned date."
What is this, Daisy?
It's in two weeks.
Daisy go home.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
This is a thousand times worse
than the roly polies attack.
Why?! Why?!
Ramzi...
-I don't want to lose you
like I lost JJ Spenser Bartholomew Jr.
Really...
You're right,
this time I won't let it happen.
What do you mean, Ramzi?
-We're keeping you here.
Period. Exclamation mark
and determined smiley.
But the bureau said that Daisy go home.
-So what? So what if he said?
Zion the exterminator said
that our compound won't melt pigeon poop
and who triumphed?
Us or the poop?
Nothing can stand in the way
of the power of scrubbing.
What kind of law is this?
Why can Quentin Tarantino stay here?
A film genius yes
and a polish genius no?
I will keep Daisy here
by hook and by cook.
"Issachar Bounty"
Five.
Six.
I'll be honest with you,
I'm not a numbers person.
Not letters either.
Mainly emojis. I'm great with emojis.
Eigh...
How's it going, familiar face?
-Fun all day.
Exactly 31.80.
ID. -ID? It's cash.
I know, I just like looking at
you with that cringey ponytail.
Very funny.
And I say, why study math
if the register calculates the change?
Such a waste of time.
When Sital has a math class
I call the guard at the gate
to make sure she stays with him
and has some laughs instead.
I'm a very involved mother.
Here, 100, 60, 8, 20.
Wait, Kohava, I have a refund.
Shirley returned string halva.
Refund, 12...
No way! Darn. Seriously?
-What happened?
The server crashed.
-Hey, where to?
To help the server, poor thing,
it crashed. "Where to?"
A cig, until it's up.
-Wait, Kohava, hold on.
You rang me up already.
-Yes.
Calculate the refund
and let me go.
Calculate the change?
Take your money.
Give me the change
and take the refund.
Okay, we're good?
-Yes. -Okay.
Give me the money, the 200,
I have to give you 100,
150,
60 and 8, 20.
Now, you bought string halva for 12.80
and...
you're returning the string halva
for 12.80,
so here's 12.80.
What good did that do?
-Now you confused me!
Hold on. Let's start over.
-Let's start over, okay.
This is yours,
this is mine.
No, this is mine.
-No, wait.
This is mine,
this is yours.
You give me this.
Here.
We're good up to here, right?
Now, you give me the refund.
Yes, I look at the refund.
Well?
You're making it so complicated.
Wait. -Gimme that, it's mine.
-Yes. -This is yours. -No...
And this is mine.
-No, no, no!
This is mine.
-No way, it's mine!
Then this is mine.
-What... -So it's fair.
"Fair"? It's... math.
-So math can be fair too.
Lady, come on. -What?! -Hold on!
-Can't you see we're calculating here?
Let's start over. -Start over.
-From the very start. -Okay.
So this is mine.
-This is yours. -This is yours.
"Issachar Bounty"
I studied the material I night,
I went over every bit of information.
The population registry.
Israeli law and religious law,
civil rights, human rights,
Geneva treaty,
declaration of independence
and half the book of Ruth.
Inhale and exhale into...
and shake, shake, shake, shake.
I discovered that there are
two formal ways to obtain citizenship.
A. being Jewish.
B. being non-Jewish
but great in sports.
Now the head.
Head.
And is Daisy great at sports?
-Why wouldn't he be?
Just the butt,
just the butt, just the butt.
Come on, give us a stretch.
Hand to toe.
Give us a little one here.
All that remains is to find out
which athletic talent Mr. Daisy has,
or shall we call him,
the future Olympic medalist,
Mr. Daisy Neverson.
A judoka grabs the shirt.
Prepare for Ippon.
You want to go home?
-No! I don't want to go home.
Throw away!
Wait, I dropped my tag.
Throw!
Three, one...
and falling, falling, falling!
And down
and up!
200 minus 150,
plus 8.20.
Forget the refund,
all good up till now? -Yup.
You know what? Close enough.
-"Close enough"?
No, it's a refund,
Shirley will go ballistic.
But you see that it's tricky,
that it's incalculable.
May I?
You gave her 200.
You made a purchase of 31.80.
She has to give you 168.20.
Right.
But you have a 12.80 refund.
168.20 plus 12.80,
you have to give him exactly 181.
It's not complicated.
That's my boy.
What did I say?!
I said exactly 181,
didn't you hear me?
And good riddance.
Oh! Fine choice, Mr. Franco,
we're having a blowout sale,
second item for 8.90.
It's a crime not to buy it.
-Sounds good.
Here.
Kohava, ring up another one.
-Seriously? -Excuse me?!
Whoa... -But... -Did we disturb you?
-Did anyone disturb you?
What's with the incivility?
-Okay, fine, come on.
This is yours...
-No, from the beginning.
This is yours. No...
-Where's the little redhead?
I don't believe this!
-Excuse me?! -Eh... -Sir!
Whoa whoa whoa!
Don't ruin the grapes.
You call these grapes?
They'd be rejected
by a box of raisins.
Why can I choose apples
one by one and not grapes?
That's the way it is, grapes come
in a cluster, a cluster is a package deal.
You want grapes, take 'em all.
-Oh yeah? -Yeah.
And if I buy a six-pack of soda?
-Yeah?
And the cap opened on one
and there's no fizz,
will you force me to buy all of them?
Because it' package deal?
Soda is soda, grapes are grapes.
-And if it's grape soda?
Are you trying to drive me up a wall?
Don't touch the grapes.
Thank you.
What did I say? Huh?!
-Leave him alone! . -What did I...
Leave him be. -What are you doing?
Chibotero, what are you doing?
Calm down...
he's Sonia's son.
You're lucky I like your dad.
He's not my dad.
It's alright, Ingale.
Did you want grapes?
Take as many as you want.
You want to eat one? Eat.
Here.
Nice. Here.
You see? I'm taking one too.
One, two...
Well?
These too.
On the one hand, I don't like him using up
all the bubble bath.
On the other hand, did you see
how he showed that vegetable thug?
I always envied those kids who said
"Just you wait, I'm gonna get my dad."
I don't have a dad since I was six.
Did your father leave the house?
-Yes, but who remembers?
It was so many years ago.
-Around when?
June 15, 1960.
2:32 p.m.
The day before we said
we'd go fishing together.
Father and son time.
I'll never forget,
I made him a ceramic trophy
in shop that morning,
To the best dad in the world
I ran home so excited,
I opened the door
to give him the trophy,
there was no one to give it to.
He just left a letter.
I could barely read it
through the tears.
What did he write?
-Nothing major. A parking ticket.
Forgive me, I...
I'm remembering the sum.
Thanks for standing up
for me with the grapes.
Pal, whoever gives you grief
has an issue with me.
You see that?
How did you do that?
-You want to try? Come on.
You mean you're letting me?
-If not you, who else?
Come here, put your finger in.
And one, two, three, twirl!
Twirl!
There, you see?
Wonderful.
Better than me.
Here, hold this.
And the...
Hold up, hold up.
-Hold up, hold up.
Very good.
Did you see that? Did you?
That Mordechai is so cool!
You know he was a boxing champ?
He was a boxing champ.
A champ in boxing!
"Daddy's boy, what do you dream?
What bums in your heart?
"How good you came
Together is a whole
"Hold on tight, never let go
"It's your time to shine
and know and touch it all
"To devour the world,
don't be afraid to fall
"My boy,
everything's waiting for you
"And Dad is here to hug you
and protect you
"To the edge of the world
I won't leave you
"My boy, follow your own path."
It seems that despite
Mr. Daisy's extraordinary fencing skills,
it will be hard to make the Olympic criterion
in just one week.
We're on to Plan B.
Based on Law 16B, section 9,
a foreign subject who weds
an Israeli citizen
is entitled to the status
of permanent resident.
You're going to marry Daisy off?
-You like Plan B, huh?
To whom will you marry him?
-To whom?
The first woman who snatches him.
And now that he's a judoka,
his stock goes up.
First come, first served.
But precedence is reserved
to the first lady of the supermarket.
Remember you always said
that you're over the Israeli mentality,
that you need a man
from a different culture?
Ramzi, I don't have time
for your jokes, I'm working...
I'm in the middle of something.
-Jokes?! Really, Bossga,
if there are two things
that I never joke about
it's taking inventory and true love.
Though taking inventory is true love,
so it's actually one thing.
Alright, if you're... so adamant,
who is it? Do you have a photo?
Not just any photo, 3D.
He's right behind the door.
-What? No.
No, Ramzi, I'm not prepared.
-Don't worry, Bossga. -No,
I don't want him to see me in uniform.
-You look more than perfect.
Ramzi, honestly.
Come.
Ramzi, what's going on here?
I know what you're thinking,
but it's fine.
Daisy is a contract worker,
no authority relationship
Ramzi.
Shira?
I said you went too far
with the new Baby Blue.
Well, what do you think
about the offer? -Disgusting.
I'm writing you'll think about it.
But why not? -Why not?
-Yes, why not?
Why not marry a man I don't know
so he can stay and clean around here?
Why not, you ask?
-Yes, why not?
Esti, I broke all my sisters' piggy banks.
It's all on me. Airfare, hotel,
daily expenses, everything.
Oh, it's all on you?
If that's the case...
no.
Come down off the trip you're on.
What sane woman would marry a stranger
for a trip overseas?
I shall do it.
Kohava?
-Oh, please.
If it means that much to you,
I'll do it.
Unlike others we know,
I'm not a selfish person.
What?
I wanna go abroad.
Ramzi said he's paying.
You'll marry someone you don't know who
hardly speaks Hebrew for a vacation overseas?
I married much less
for much less.
So, you need anything
from the duty free?
Anyone want something
from the duty free?
Daisy is staying in Israel
and my best friends are getting married.
Could there be a happier day?!
"The voice of joy and gladness,
the bridegroom and the bride."
You may hug the bride.
You may make me coffee at the most.
And take Ramzi with you,
he knows how I like it.
Come, come, come.
"Oh happy, happy day!
Daisy is staying in Israel!"
"Issachar Bounty"
It's happening today.
Tickets to Cyprus, check.
Marriage forms, check.
"Love is in the air
everywhere you look around
"Look around,
look around, look..."
What a beautiful couple,
really, so beautiful.
Here you go,
these are the tickets.
These are the forms.
I filled them all out.
Cyprus?
-Cyprus, yes.
The wedding will take place
tomorrow morning, in Nicosia.
No, no, Cyprus is no good.
-Is there a problem?
It'll be a year or two
before I'm allowed in.
You're not allowed into Cyprus?
The Cypriotes and their weird laws.
What we call fooling around,
they call "assaulting a cop."
Go figure.
It's a different culture.
But the flight is tonight!
-So what does that mean?
Thank God, no wedding.
-Amen.
No, no, no, no, no!
I admit it, I was disappointed.
I mean, a wedding is
a one-time event in a woman's life.
Even if it's the seventh time.
"Oh happy day today
Happy day!"
Mordechai and I are going fishing.
Finally, after 60 years.
60 years!
You really were in it for the money...
-That's how I talk, yes.
Just money.
-Sha, sha, sha.
You lived in my house.
-Sha, sha...
Not in front of the boy!
-Just leave me alone.
What boy?
This boy is 67 years old.
I can't stand the sound of your voice.
-Don't fight.
Look,
sometimes grown ups
don't get along. -I've had it,
I'm kicking him to the curb.
-Sshhh... enough.
I can't listen to him anymore.
-That's enough...
I've had it, you hear me?
I've had it! -Stop, sshhh...
I just want you to know
that it's not your fault.
I know it's tough now,
but remember,
she will always be your mom
and I will always be
the security guard
at your supermarket.
"To the best dad in the world"
"Issachar Bounty"
Yes, yes, her name is "Kohava Shavit".
From Israel.
Kohava Shavit! Yes.
What?
What she did?
What? -No, no, no,
but please, please, please, no.
Let her in Cyprus,
please, please, for Daisy.
Not for me, for Daisy
Hello? Hello!
Hello!
It is not fair!
It is not fair!
Ramzul, what's wrong?
In two days,
the greatest polisher ever to set foot
in the supermarket is being deported
and the world says nothing!
It is so silent!
I arranged everything.
A wedding in Cyprus,
a stag party in the solids storeroom.
Wait, I didn't get it. Cyprus?
You wanna tell me that Daisy is...
gaysy?
Excuse me?
-Who gets married in Cyprus?
Either a woman with a woman
or a man with a man.
A man with a man?
-A man with a man.
Ramzi, what...?
A man got to do
what a man got to do.
Ramzi, get back here!
Your folks won't talk to you!
Daisy.
Daisy Neverson Jr. the third,
will you marry me?
-What?
Man with man.
You and me.
It's okay in Cyprus.
Daisy no go home.
Daisy no go home to Congo?
-Daisy stay supermarket.
You do this for me, Ramzi?
Half my kingdom and a half.
What do you say?
Yes... or no?
Okay.
-He said okay.
"I vow
like this day that comes
"Like one simple word
I swear on my life
"I vow
like a moth to the flame..."
Rebound already?!
After what we've been through?
After everything we had?
My body is not yet cold.
I'm so happy, Mr. Neverson
Or should I say,
Mr. Neverson Abed Ramzi?
Thank you, Mr. Ramzi. You're number one,
you know? You're number one.
It's okay, it's okay.
When we get back home,
we'll look for a place
in the new neighborhood of Yavne.
I heard there are wonderful apartments.
What apartment?
-For us.
The Department of the Interior
is a respectable entity
and if we want you to stay here,
we must prove we're a real couple
for all intents and purposes.
Or this whole thing topples
like a tower of tuna cans.
What do you mean by "real"?
-Real, Daisy.
The immigration police
are meticulous about these things.
We'll get back
and rent a small apartment.
And perhaps buy a bike
with two seats.
And we can open a joint account
on Facebook.
We'll buy a bonsai plant.
We can...
How about we adopt a cat, Daisy?
We can call him
Issachar Neverson Abed Ramzi.
Or we can get a parrot
and call him Shkedi.
Driver, stop!
Please, stop now!
Daisy, what are you doing?
This is not airport!
Daisy!
Daisy, this is not airport!
Can you help me?
-What are you doing? -Please, I need help.
Thank you.
-Daisy! Daisy!
No, no, no!
Daisy, what are you doing?!
This is not airport! Daisy!
Mr. Neverson!
Taxi!
They took him!
Taxi, come!
Come!
They took him!
They took him, the police took him!
They took him!
On the one hand,
Daisy left us prematurely.
On the other hand,
he got onto the Congolese
synchronized swimming team.
I trained him.
What's this?
-Finger batteries.
Grapes!
-You eat these grapes at your funeral.
Amnon
Amnon, what are you doing?
Amnon, they're not ours.
You're not at home,
put that down.
Put that down, boy, now.
What are you doing?!
Don't you touch them!
You hear me? -Dad!
-You hear me? -Dad!
Amnon...\-Dad! Dad! Dad!!! -Stop it!
-I am a history professor, yes?
Help your mother instead of you?
-Well, what do you say?
I'm sorry, I'm fully booked.
It can't be any worse than you.
Come to the meat counter.
I'm coming, no need to yell.
-Another imbecile... -Don't yell.
It's meant to.
Mordechai and I
want to tell you something.
Who's moving in where?!
"Checkout"
"Titinsky's Dad"
Why bubble bath? We have tons.
-Not anymore.
Mom and I finished it this weekend.
Sugar puffs.
I want sugar puffs.
No, no, no.
Why sugar puffs?
Didn't you hear Dr. Skivin?
Do you want to kill yourself?
Has anyone ever died
from sugar puffs? -Yes.
"Doctor, what's the cause of death?
Accident? Murder?
"No, sugar puffs."
Forget this,
on Friday I'll buy you fruit roll-ups.
He'll buy me fruit roll-ups.
Can I watch TV
or should I do my homework first?
Amnon, don't be rude.
Sha. Sha, Ingale.
-No "Ingale"!
You're not my dad, you hear me?!
You're not my dad! -Shhh...
He's not my dad!
"Ingale" he tells me!
Sha, sha,
everyone knows me.
I'll do what I want!
And if I want to eat sugar puffs,
I'll eat sugar puffs, okay?
He thinks he's my dad!
What am I, a 5 year old?
Am I 5 years old? No!
Me, 5 years old? Me?
"In the middle of the day
The red pepper
"Came upon the..."
-Yellow. -Pepper.
Yellow.
"They chatted and played
"And fell into a deep hole"
Batman has Robin,
Banani has Banon
and I have Daisy Neverson,
the sworn assistant.
At times I don't remember
where I end and where he begins.
"So con-fused..
"They rolled,
"Horsing around,
Spending time,
"Embracing
"And...
"So was born the..."
-Orange pepper. -Yes!
"So was born the..."
-Orange pepper. -Yes!
"So was born the orange..."
-Pepper. -Yes!
It works!
It... it works!
Daisy
Daisy
Daisy, it worked.
The compound we made
melted the pigeon poop.
Daisy?
What's this? Why so glum?
Don't tell me the mites
are back in the carton shed.
The beetle?
No, not the roly polies.
"Based on the bureau's decision,
your work visa won't be extended,
"hence you must leave the country
by undermentioned date."
What is this, Daisy?
It's in two weeks.
Daisy go home.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
This is a thousand times worse
than the roly polies attack.
Why?! Why?!
Ramzi...
-I don't want to lose you
like I lost JJ Spenser Bartholomew Jr.
Really...
You're right,
this time I won't let it happen.
What do you mean, Ramzi?
-We're keeping you here.
Period. Exclamation mark
and determined smiley.
But the bureau said that Daisy go home.
-So what? So what if he said?
Zion the exterminator said
that our compound won't melt pigeon poop
and who triumphed?
Us or the poop?
Nothing can stand in the way
of the power of scrubbing.
What kind of law is this?
Why can Quentin Tarantino stay here?
A film genius yes
and a polish genius no?
I will keep Daisy here
by hook and by cook.
"Issachar Bounty"
Five.
Six.
I'll be honest with you,
I'm not a numbers person.
Not letters either.
Mainly emojis. I'm great with emojis.
Eigh...
How's it going, familiar face?
-Fun all day.
Exactly 31.80.
ID. -ID? It's cash.
I know, I just like looking at
you with that cringey ponytail.
Very funny.
And I say, why study math
if the register calculates the change?
Such a waste of time.
When Sital has a math class
I call the guard at the gate
to make sure she stays with him
and has some laughs instead.
I'm a very involved mother.
Here, 100, 60, 8, 20.
Wait, Kohava, I have a refund.
Shirley returned string halva.
Refund, 12...
No way! Darn. Seriously?
-What happened?
The server crashed.
-Hey, where to?
To help the server, poor thing,
it crashed. "Where to?"
A cig, until it's up.
-Wait, Kohava, hold on.
You rang me up already.
-Yes.
Calculate the refund
and let me go.
Calculate the change?
Take your money.
Give me the change
and take the refund.
Okay, we're good?
-Yes. -Okay.
Give me the money, the 200,
I have to give you 100,
150,
60 and 8, 20.
Now, you bought string halva for 12.80
and...
you're returning the string halva
for 12.80,
so here's 12.80.
What good did that do?
-Now you confused me!
Hold on. Let's start over.
-Let's start over, okay.
This is yours,
this is mine.
No, this is mine.
-No, wait.
This is mine,
this is yours.
You give me this.
Here.
We're good up to here, right?
Now, you give me the refund.
Yes, I look at the refund.
Well?
You're making it so complicated.
Wait. -Gimme that, it's mine.
-Yes. -This is yours. -No...
And this is mine.
-No, no, no!
This is mine.
-No way, it's mine!
Then this is mine.
-What... -So it's fair.
"Fair"? It's... math.
-So math can be fair too.
Lady, come on. -What?! -Hold on!
-Can't you see we're calculating here?
Let's start over. -Start over.
-From the very start. -Okay.
So this is mine.
-This is yours. -This is yours.
"Issachar Bounty"
I studied the material I night,
I went over every bit of information.
The population registry.
Israeli law and religious law,
civil rights, human rights,
Geneva treaty,
declaration of independence
and half the book of Ruth.
Inhale and exhale into...
and shake, shake, shake, shake.
I discovered that there are
two formal ways to obtain citizenship.
A. being Jewish.
B. being non-Jewish
but great in sports.
Now the head.
Head.
And is Daisy great at sports?
-Why wouldn't he be?
Just the butt,
just the butt, just the butt.
Come on, give us a stretch.
Hand to toe.
Give us a little one here.
All that remains is to find out
which athletic talent Mr. Daisy has,
or shall we call him,
the future Olympic medalist,
Mr. Daisy Neverson.
A judoka grabs the shirt.
Prepare for Ippon.
You want to go home?
-No! I don't want to go home.
Throw away!
Wait, I dropped my tag.
Throw!
Three, one...
and falling, falling, falling!
And down
and up!
200 minus 150,
plus 8.20.
Forget the refund,
all good up till now? -Yup.
You know what? Close enough.
-"Close enough"?
No, it's a refund,
Shirley will go ballistic.
But you see that it's tricky,
that it's incalculable.
May I?
You gave her 200.
You made a purchase of 31.80.
She has to give you 168.20.
Right.
But you have a 12.80 refund.
168.20 plus 12.80,
you have to give him exactly 181.
It's not complicated.
That's my boy.
What did I say?!
I said exactly 181,
didn't you hear me?
And good riddance.
Oh! Fine choice, Mr. Franco,
we're having a blowout sale,
second item for 8.90.
It's a crime not to buy it.
-Sounds good.
Here.
Kohava, ring up another one.
-Seriously? -Excuse me?!
Whoa... -But... -Did we disturb you?
-Did anyone disturb you?
What's with the incivility?
-Okay, fine, come on.
This is yours...
-No, from the beginning.
This is yours. No...
-Where's the little redhead?
I don't believe this!
-Excuse me?! -Eh... -Sir!
Whoa whoa whoa!
Don't ruin the grapes.
You call these grapes?
They'd be rejected
by a box of raisins.
Why can I choose apples
one by one and not grapes?
That's the way it is, grapes come
in a cluster, a cluster is a package deal.
You want grapes, take 'em all.
-Oh yeah? -Yeah.
And if I buy a six-pack of soda?
-Yeah?
And the cap opened on one
and there's no fizz,
will you force me to buy all of them?
Because it' package deal?
Soda is soda, grapes are grapes.
-And if it's grape soda?
Are you trying to drive me up a wall?
Don't touch the grapes.
Thank you.
What did I say? Huh?!
-Leave him alone! . -What did I...
Leave him be. -What are you doing?
Chibotero, what are you doing?
Calm down...
he's Sonia's son.
You're lucky I like your dad.
He's not my dad.
It's alright, Ingale.
Did you want grapes?
Take as many as you want.
You want to eat one? Eat.
Here.
Nice. Here.
You see? I'm taking one too.
One, two...
Well?
These too.
On the one hand, I don't like him using up
all the bubble bath.
On the other hand, did you see
how he showed that vegetable thug?
I always envied those kids who said
"Just you wait, I'm gonna get my dad."
I don't have a dad since I was six.
Did your father leave the house?
-Yes, but who remembers?
It was so many years ago.
-Around when?
June 15, 1960.
2:32 p.m.
The day before we said
we'd go fishing together.
Father and son time.
I'll never forget,
I made him a ceramic trophy
in shop that morning,
To the best dad in the world
I ran home so excited,
I opened the door
to give him the trophy,
there was no one to give it to.
He just left a letter.
I could barely read it
through the tears.
What did he write?
-Nothing major. A parking ticket.
Forgive me, I...
I'm remembering the sum.
Thanks for standing up
for me with the grapes.
Pal, whoever gives you grief
has an issue with me.
You see that?
How did you do that?
-You want to try? Come on.
You mean you're letting me?
-If not you, who else?
Come here, put your finger in.
And one, two, three, twirl!
Twirl!
There, you see?
Wonderful.
Better than me.
Here, hold this.
And the...
Hold up, hold up.
-Hold up, hold up.
Very good.
Did you see that? Did you?
That Mordechai is so cool!
You know he was a boxing champ?
He was a boxing champ.
A champ in boxing!
"Daddy's boy, what do you dream?
What bums in your heart?
"How good you came
Together is a whole
"Hold on tight, never let go
"It's your time to shine
and know and touch it all
"To devour the world,
don't be afraid to fall
"My boy,
everything's waiting for you
"And Dad is here to hug you
and protect you
"To the edge of the world
I won't leave you
"My boy, follow your own path."
It seems that despite
Mr. Daisy's extraordinary fencing skills,
it will be hard to make the Olympic criterion
in just one week.
We're on to Plan B.
Based on Law 16B, section 9,
a foreign subject who weds
an Israeli citizen
is entitled to the status
of permanent resident.
You're going to marry Daisy off?
-You like Plan B, huh?
To whom will you marry him?
-To whom?
The first woman who snatches him.
And now that he's a judoka,
his stock goes up.
First come, first served.
But precedence is reserved
to the first lady of the supermarket.
Remember you always said
that you're over the Israeli mentality,
that you need a man
from a different culture?
Ramzi, I don't have time
for your jokes, I'm working...
I'm in the middle of something.
-Jokes?! Really, Bossga,
if there are two things
that I never joke about
it's taking inventory and true love.
Though taking inventory is true love,
so it's actually one thing.
Alright, if you're... so adamant,
who is it? Do you have a photo?
Not just any photo, 3D.
He's right behind the door.
-What? No.
No, Ramzi, I'm not prepared.
-Don't worry, Bossga. -No,
I don't want him to see me in uniform.
-You look more than perfect.
Ramzi, honestly.
Come.
Ramzi, what's going on here?
I know what you're thinking,
but it's fine.
Daisy is a contract worker,
no authority relationship
Ramzi.
Shira?
I said you went too far
with the new Baby Blue.
Well, what do you think
about the offer? -Disgusting.
I'm writing you'll think about it.
But why not? -Why not?
-Yes, why not?
Why not marry a man I don't know
so he can stay and clean around here?
Why not, you ask?
-Yes, why not?
Esti, I broke all my sisters' piggy banks.
It's all on me. Airfare, hotel,
daily expenses, everything.
Oh, it's all on you?
If that's the case...
no.
Come down off the trip you're on.
What sane woman would marry a stranger
for a trip overseas?
I shall do it.
Kohava?
-Oh, please.
If it means that much to you,
I'll do it.
Unlike others we know,
I'm not a selfish person.
What?
I wanna go abroad.
Ramzi said he's paying.
You'll marry someone you don't know who
hardly speaks Hebrew for a vacation overseas?
I married much less
for much less.
So, you need anything
from the duty free?
Anyone want something
from the duty free?
Daisy is staying in Israel
and my best friends are getting married.
Could there be a happier day?!
"The voice of joy and gladness,
the bridegroom and the bride."
You may hug the bride.
You may make me coffee at the most.
And take Ramzi with you,
he knows how I like it.
Come, come, come.
"Oh happy, happy day!
Daisy is staying in Israel!"
"Issachar Bounty"
It's happening today.
Tickets to Cyprus, check.
Marriage forms, check.
"Love is in the air
everywhere you look around
"Look around,
look around, look..."
What a beautiful couple,
really, so beautiful.
Here you go,
these are the tickets.
These are the forms.
I filled them all out.
Cyprus?
-Cyprus, yes.
The wedding will take place
tomorrow morning, in Nicosia.
No, no, Cyprus is no good.
-Is there a problem?
It'll be a year or two
before I'm allowed in.
You're not allowed into Cyprus?
The Cypriotes and their weird laws.
What we call fooling around,
they call "assaulting a cop."
Go figure.
It's a different culture.
But the flight is tonight!
-So what does that mean?
Thank God, no wedding.
-Amen.
No, no, no, no, no!
I admit it, I was disappointed.
I mean, a wedding is
a one-time event in a woman's life.
Even if it's the seventh time.
"Oh happy day today
Happy day!"
Mordechai and I are going fishing.
Finally, after 60 years.
60 years!
You really were in it for the money...
-That's how I talk, yes.
Just money.
-Sha, sha, sha.
You lived in my house.
-Sha, sha...
Not in front of the boy!
-Just leave me alone.
What boy?
This boy is 67 years old.
I can't stand the sound of your voice.
-Don't fight.
Look,
sometimes grown ups
don't get along. -I've had it,
I'm kicking him to the curb.
-Sshhh... enough.
I can't listen to him anymore.
-That's enough...
I've had it, you hear me?
I've had it! -Stop, sshhh...
I just want you to know
that it's not your fault.
I know it's tough now,
but remember,
she will always be your mom
and I will always be
the security guard
at your supermarket.
"To the best dad in the world"
"Issachar Bounty"
Yes, yes, her name is "Kohava Shavit".
From Israel.
Kohava Shavit! Yes.
What?
What she did?
What? -No, no, no,
but please, please, please, no.
Let her in Cyprus,
please, please, for Daisy.
Not for me, for Daisy
Hello? Hello!
Hello!
It is not fair!
It is not fair!
Ramzul, what's wrong?
In two days,
the greatest polisher ever to set foot
in the supermarket is being deported
and the world says nothing!
It is so silent!
I arranged everything.
A wedding in Cyprus,
a stag party in the solids storeroom.
Wait, I didn't get it. Cyprus?
You wanna tell me that Daisy is...
gaysy?
Excuse me?
-Who gets married in Cyprus?
Either a woman with a woman
or a man with a man.
A man with a man?
-A man with a man.
Ramzi, what...?
A man got to do
what a man got to do.
Ramzi, get back here!
Your folks won't talk to you!
Daisy.
Daisy Neverson Jr. the third,
will you marry me?
-What?
Man with man.
You and me.
It's okay in Cyprus.
Daisy no go home.
Daisy no go home to Congo?
-Daisy stay supermarket.
You do this for me, Ramzi?
Half my kingdom and a half.
What do you say?
Yes... or no?
Okay.
-He said okay.
"I vow
like this day that comes
"Like one simple word
I swear on my life
"I vow
like a moth to the flame..."
Rebound already?!
After what we've been through?
After everything we had?
My body is not yet cold.
I'm so happy, Mr. Neverson
Or should I say,
Mr. Neverson Abed Ramzi?
Thank you, Mr. Ramzi. You're number one,
you know? You're number one.
It's okay, it's okay.
When we get back home,
we'll look for a place
in the new neighborhood of Yavne.
I heard there are wonderful apartments.
What apartment?
-For us.
The Department of the Interior
is a respectable entity
and if we want you to stay here,
we must prove we're a real couple
for all intents and purposes.
Or this whole thing topples
like a tower of tuna cans.
What do you mean by "real"?
-Real, Daisy.
The immigration police
are meticulous about these things.
We'll get back
and rent a small apartment.
And perhaps buy a bike
with two seats.
And we can open a joint account
on Facebook.
We'll buy a bonsai plant.
We can...
How about we adopt a cat, Daisy?
We can call him
Issachar Neverson Abed Ramzi.
Or we can get a parrot
and call him Shkedi.
Driver, stop!
Please, stop now!
Daisy, what are you doing?
This is not airport!
Daisy!
Daisy, this is not airport!
Can you help me?
-What are you doing? -Please, I need help.
Thank you.
-Daisy! Daisy!
No, no, no!
Daisy, what are you doing?!
This is not airport! Daisy!
Mr. Neverson!
Taxi!
They took him!
Taxi, come!
Come!
They took him!
They took him, the police took him!
They took him!
On the one hand,
Daisy left us prematurely.
On the other hand,
he got onto the Congolese
synchronized swimming team.
I trained him.
What's this?
-Finger batteries.
Grapes!
-You eat these grapes at your funeral.
Amnon
Amnon, what are you doing?
Amnon, they're not ours.
You're not at home,
put that down.
Put that down, boy, now.
What are you doing?!
Don't you touch them!
You hear me? -Dad!
-You hear me? -Dad!
Amnon...\-Dad! Dad! Dad!!! -Stop it!