Cash Register (2018–…): Season 2, Episode 14 - Passover's Here - full transcript

Kan 11 presents

The machine isn't working properly.
You sure you didn't mess with it?

Nothing major. I rinsed, cleaned,
scrubbed, dismantled, sharpened

and put it together again.
You know, daily maintenance.

Maybe you didn't put it back right.
It's not... I turn it on, it goes...

Oh, no, it's fine.
That's the sound of the piston.

Go ahead, slice, Toli. It's fine.

It's Nordic standard.
Extremely dependable.

Ah, it works.
-Sure it works. It's Nordic.

Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!
-Oh my God, oh my God...

Ramzi. Get up, brother, get up.
-Ramzi, Ramzi.



A prank, Ramzi.

"Primuz" tomato dip,
a superb choice.

Finally, Nissim's annual prank.

And Anatoly's.
-We pranked everyone.

Kohava, Esti, Brandon, Naomi,

but we left the best prank for last.
-Really? What's the best?

Pranking Shira. The boss!
She is so gullible.

Listen, Shenkin,

once I convinced her
that I have to sleep during a shift

'coz my Grandma Khanam
talks to me in my dreams.

What a dumbass.

That was me!

"Checkout"

Shira, come here.



Vou haven't seen anything like this.
-It's so not the time.

It's end of quarter time and...
-What quarter?

This is a global spectacle.
-Digidish! -Down.

Anatoly slices entrecote blindfolded.
-What?!

No, no, no, Anatoly. -Show her.
-Anatoly, that's very dangerous.

Please...
-Are you off your rockers?

It's not dangerous!
-Look at those skills!

Take a look at that.
-It's not dangerous.

I don't like this game.
I don't like it. -I'm slicing.

I'm slicing. -It's not funny.
-I'm slicing entrecote.

This is Russian roulette,
look what a great job.

Who can slice like that?

Oh no!

Anatoly, are you alright?
-Tolik's ring finger!

Hold this, so he doesn't see.
Held it. -Tolik's ring finger!

Shira, why didn't you stop us?
-Why, Shira, why?

I did!

Shira, listen.

She just vomited.
Look, it's plastic.

Let me explain, it's not...
-Look, here.

Tell Masha that the supermarket
will take care of you. -Alright.

And compensate you. -Al...

I can't take this.

Compensation? -Mommy.
-Sure. Let's go, I'll take...

I'll take him to the hospital.
-The hospital?

Let's go already!
You're bleeding so badly. -Ah, bleeding!

I'm taking him, Shira.
We'll be in touch with you.

I checked out the labor laws.

Losing a finger,
that's an easy 200,000.

But he didn't lose his finger.
-Hello!

Well, I can't find the toy finger,
so technically, a finger was lost.

Besides, compensation was her idea.
-We didn't say anything.

With potatoes there are two options,

either the ones from the bag,
good looking, after a shower

or from the diaspora.
-You mean the scattered potatoes.

What's the difference?
The geriatric section of potatoes.

What are ypu doing?
-Releasing security prisoners...

I'm taking potatoes, what...
-But why from here?

Take from the scattered ones,
don't open a bag.

From the diaspora?

You take from the diaspora.
Did you see what they look like?

I wouldn't touch them with a grater.
-No? Then take a whole bag.

Don't open sealed bags.
-A whole bag?

Who am I? Old MacDonald?
I have a farm? It's only me and Mom.

And I don't ewera like the inside,
just the peel. -You think I care?

Then have company over.
-Potatoes for company?

Do I look like Shari Arison to you?
-Listen, bag or scattered. Got it?

Give that to me! -No.
-Give it to me now! -Robbery!

Come here, give it back.
Give it, it's my vegetables!

Give it! Give it to me!
-What's going on? Naomi!

Naomi, what happened to Anatoly
was enough.

Find your center. Naomi!

That's not the center,
that's my hair!

Really.

Two grownups fighting
in the middle of... ow...

the vegetable section.
How did we stoop so low?

Dude ripped off my Barca chain
that I bought in Tiberias.

am a legitimate customer...
-No. -I want potatoes...

Stop, off, confirm. Enough!

Really?

This day is so hard for me as it is.

We can handle this like grownups.

Each of you find your center
and tell me what happened. Naomi.

This scabies head is always under my feet.
-I don't understand what you're saying.

This... -This scabies head
is always under my feet...

Sshhh... -Losing hair, making comments
and destroying my goods.

Destroying? It got here destroyed.
-Shira, I can't take this. -Sshhh...

I can't take this!
-Naomi, center.

Center!
-Shira, I can't take it.

I'm telling you now,
swear on Messi's left kick,

he's banned from the vegetable section.
It's either me or him! -Oh no.

How will I get my daily ration of worms?
-Amnon... -Let's take it outside.

No, no, no...
-Let's take it outside.

Outside, now! -You see?
-Naomi! Stop! -She started it.

Stop! Find your center.
Did you see her start it?

You saw, right? -Stop!
-Find your center, count backwards.

10... 9... -Stop!
-Okay, a time and a place... Fine.

Stop it. We're adults.

We can solve this, the three of us,
in a respectable way.

Amnon, you'll apologize to Naomi.

And from now on you'll abide
by the rules of the vegetable section

as she requests.

And you, Naomi, in return,
you'll accept Amnon's apology,

you'll put this behind you, in the past,
and allow him to buy vegetables.

Is that acceptable?

Will he apologize? -Yes.

But from the heart.

And he'll pay for the Barca chain
that he tore. -Fair.

Will you apologize?

Sure. -Thank you.

But why stop there?
How about I give her my car!

Why just the car?
Maybe the housing unit at Mom's place.

Apologize... She should apologize!
For my pouch that she ruined!

Look, I go like this,
it doesn't bounce back!

It's irreversible!

They don't sell them
in the market anymore!

No apology, no vegetables!
-Oh no!

How will I deal
with no abdominal pain in the morning?!

Oy oy oy oy oy...
Tragedy! Go!

She thinks she scares with me her...
vegetable bullying!

She'll pay for this pouch she ruined.
"Apologize" she says!

Yes, Mom, I just finished.
-Great, then do an about-face,

I need three avocados.
-Avocados? -Avocados, avocados.

Nava ambushed me,
she'll be here in an hour,

I have to be ready.

Nava and Mom were the Yardena
and Ofra of Kibbutz Megiddo,

just without the talent and beauty.

Mom was at her place last week
and had an avocados dip.

Now Mom has to serve the same dip,
but tastier. So she'll be miserable.

That's how they are.
Best friends.

Wait, why avocados?

Give her the chopped liver
from last Friday.

No chopped and no liver!

She served me avocados dip,
she'll get avocados dip

that will make her ugly face contort.
-But Mom... -Did you hear me?

Yes, okay, three avocados.
-The "Ettinger" variety. Medium softness.

No more! I'll show her what's what,
that nasty*witch.

Here she is, call waiting.

Nava, my sweet.
-Mom, it's still me.

"Issachar Bounty"

What's that? -Sshhh...
-Who? -Shira. -Ah!

Yes, Shira?
-What's going on? Any news?

How is Anatoly?
-We don't know yet,

no one told us anything.
He lost tons of blood.

Do you hear how he's suffering?

They took him in for surgery,
it doesn't look good.

Surgery? Really? Oy...
Oh no, Nissim.

Okay, I'm coming,
I'm coming to you.

The local hospital, right?
-No, no, no, no...

there's no need, it's all good.
-What happened?

I see that he's...
they're done now. They're done.

You said he just went into surgery.
-Medicine is so advanced these days.

The head surgeon operated on him.

Okay, okay.
Let me know how it went. Uh..

in any case, Nissim,
I know this isn't the right time,

but I talked to our lawyer

and he asked that Anatoly
not take his claim to an attorney.

We'll settle this ourselves.

Look, Shira,
right now I'm representing Anatoly,

so let's talk numbers
and take it from there, okay?

That's assuming Anatoly will survive.

Oy no!
Fingers crossed.

No, this is not the time, Shira.
-Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry...

Bad choice of words.
-Okay, bye.

Anatoly! -Nissimka!

Ka-ching!

I went to two supermarkets,
three grocery stores and a gas station.

No "Ettinger" avocados anywhere,
just here, "Issachar Bounty" swindlers.

So you decided to come back
and apologize? -Apologize?

When hell freezes over.

What are you doing here?

What's wrong?

You own the air too?

You're not setting a foot in here
until you apologize and pay for my chain.

I'll apologize
when the vegetables are fresh.

Do you know when that might be?
Never.

Okay, so I won't set a foot in there.
Big deal.

That doesn't mean that I can't
set someone else's foot in there.

What's the saying?
One hand washes the other.

Wouldn't it just be easier...
to apologize?

I never apologized in my life.
And praise God, look how far I've come.

Wait, squish it. Tell me what you feel.
-What's the difference?

Fine, wait two years,
buy your own vodka.

No, okay, don't hang up.
I'm squishing it. -Is it soft?

Well... it's kinda soft, but not totally.
-What does it feel like?

Like a tennis ball,
like the bottom of a flip flop.

How do I know? -Tennis ball
or the bottom of a flip flop?

Those are two different things.
Wait a sec.

Yes, Momsy.
-If you don't get those avocados,

I'm tossing your ant farm
in the toilet. -No, don't,

I'll be right home.
You hear me? Hello?

She hung up.

Your avocados. -Sshhh..

What's this? It's soft like your head,
get another one.

Dude, do I work for you?

Screw you and your avocados.
-Come back here, please.

No need to get upset.
Get back here!

Well, I didn't want it to come to this,
but... I have no choice.

You're going to apologize?
-You and your apologize again?

Then what?
-"Phone a friend" lifeline.

Only a true friend will go over
every avocado without making faces.

Dead, dead. Hope he dies.
On the outs. Dead. Dead.

Died during an argument.
Here we go.

Yechiel!

How are you, my friend?

Amnon.

Amnon!

"What Amnon?"
Preventive driving course.

You sat behind me,
you asked for my sheet.

You said I saved you.

Exactly. Yes.

Well, it's time to return the favor.

Hello?

Amnon! Amnon!
From the line at the post office.

You went to the bathroom,
I watched your stuff.

Oh, Ruby, Ruby, Ruby...
So? Where are you now?

Canada?

Oh no, a long distance call.

I went over the whole list.
Everyone's so ungrateful.

After all I did for them.

Wait, what's this? Menachem?

Why didn't I think of him?
Menachem the handyman.

So what do you say, Menachem?
A coffee, to catch up?

Yes, I miss you.

Now would be awesome.

Yes.

In ten minutes at "Issachar Bounty"?

I'm here...
finishing up a few things...

Menachem..

you see that?
I ask you?

Just before the Jordanians
break through the city walls,

Amnon Titinsky outdoes himself again.

She wants me to say "sorry."
She went even get a "sor."

Not a s...

So what... sum were you thinking?

Look, if we take similar past incidents
after all the considerations,

including rehabilitation
and compensation for emotional distress,

we're talking around...

250,000.

Truth is, that's not...
what we expected. -We know.

We know, Nissim, it's low, but...

we've been working together
for so long at "Issachar Bounty"

and you could say, we're like family.

So we thought you could
meet us half way.

My ring finger was part of a family.

I know that your ring finger
was part of the family,

I know and it pains me,
it really pains me, Anatoly.

Toli, we'll get through this together.
-Talan.

What do you say?

I don't understand what you're saying.

Look, we'll compromise,
but you owe us big time.

Of course...
I'm writing that down.

I owe... -Big time.
-Big time. Absolutely.

Thank you. -Great.
-To better days, amen. -Thank you.

Thank you. -Thank you.
-Excellent, just...

tomorrow a doctor
will examine the hand

to make sure
there's no damage besides the finger.

We'll sign an MOU
and you'll get the check.

It can be done in the office.

What... what doctor? What?

The... the man lost his...
finger... his... That's...

of all the fingers, that's the finger.
-No, Nissim, it's just... procedure.

What procedure?
You saw... your own eyes

my ring finger did a somersault
in the air. -What's with you?

You want to traumatize him again?
-It's standard procedure.

Without that -
no compensation.

Menachem.

Near the vegetable section.
Follow the smell of rot.

Nonsense.

A small favor and then coffee.

Now I know how Stalin felt
before he occupied Berlin.

It's beyond words. It's ecstasy.

Sometimes all it takes
is a good friend to lend a hand.

Amnon!

Amnon.

Menachem.

You've changed.
-I'm losing my hair, huh? I know.

How are you? -How am I?
-Do you still live with Mom?

What happened to you?
-Let's just say,

you're not supposed
to stick your arm out the car window.

I'm kidding.

Let's go, I'll tell you over coffee.
-Coffee?

That's what I came for.

But by the time you got here
I told Mom we'd go for a walk.

But I came especially.
Are you kidding me?

You said "coffee,"
you said "we'll catch up."

Alright. I still live with Mom,
you have no arms.

We're caught up.

Come on, 15 minutes.
We'll make it short.

Short?! A short coffee?
How will you even drink coffee?!

How?! With a straw?!
How will you mix the...

"Short coffee," he tells me! How?

Believe me,
I'm doing us both a favor.

Naomi.

Yes.

Yes?

I... -What was that?

I ap... -I can't hear you.
-I... -Louder.

I ap... ol...

You were right,
I was wrong, okay?

I ap... ol...
Can I get avocados now?

Gladly.

But one more thing.

She remembers everything.

Alright.

Here. -50.

But you got it in the flea market.
-So no avocados.

Fine. Here. Knock yourself out.

Everything's fine, I paid,
I'm on my way.

Return them.
-Return them?

Nava had an accident,
she was run over by a Segway.

But I got the avocados.
-Then return them.

Get me poppy seed cake instead,
'm going to visit Nava in the hospital.

The poor thing.
Did I tell you she had an accident?

Hey, Amnon!

It's alright. It's alright.

Shira!

Big Boss!

Damn, a doctor?!

He'll remove the bandage
and see you're alright. -So rude!

This is a disaster.

She always like to make problems
that end of the Coke bottle!

I knew it, I knew it.
We can forget the money.

Bummer.

Maybe not gone.

What do you mean?

We will get money
if I do a bris on my finger.

Are you serious?
You eat expired meat again?

You wanna take your finger off?
-Not a finger, Nissim,

the ring finger,
and it's 250,000.

What do I need five fingers for?
Four is more than enough.

Dude, you're so messed up.
-Nissim, this is a great deal!

What deal? It's compensation for
an accident that didn't happen to you.

Now you wanna plan an accident
that will happen to you?!

Ninja Turtles have three fingers
and they always win.

Anatoly, I told you a thousand times,
you are not a Ninja Turtle.

You're not a Power Ranger,
you're not PJ Masks.

You're Anatoly the butcher
who works with his hands.

How will you scratch your back?
How will you solve Sudoku?

How will you do shadow pigeons
on the wall? -I need this finger,

I need this finger,
I need this finger, I need this finger,

this finger is 250,000, no need.
Thank you, have a nice day.

Anatoly, you... Anatoly.

Anatoly! Listen to me!
We can make money in other ways.

Listen! Did I ever steer you wrong?
-Never, except always, Nissim.

Anatoly, stop it. Look at me.
This has gotten out of hand.

Hasta la vista, ring finger.
-Anatoly!

No, Anatoly, no!

What have you done, Anatoly?
-I'm in pain, Nissim. Why?

Why?
Why didn't Nissim stop me?

The ring finger, Anatoly,
what have we done?

What have we done, Anatoly?
What have we done?

"Why, Anatoly?"

"What have we done?"

I love a good laugh...

"Primoz."

The ring finger, Anatoly!

And crying, crying.
-That's cruel. -But funny.

But... excuse me,

Nissim gives us heart attacks
all year round with his pranks,

so we decided to teach him a lesson.
-"We decided"?

You're just the helper.

Right! The supermarket's lawyer!
-That?

It's Yoni. -Yoni.
-Yoni. -Yoni.

From the toy store across the way.
-Nissim, that idiot, didn't recognize.

He sees him every day.

How didn't he recognize him?
-How can this be?

I thought that you and Nissim
work together.

I only work when funny.

And this was funny.

With Kohava that's one thing
but with that pinhead?

"Prikoz."

You didn't tell me what happened
to the other arm.

After I Lost the first one,
we made a U-turn. -And?

Suddenly I saw
my arm on a branch.

So I stuck out the other one
to get it and bam!

The second one
got chopped off too.

That's the stupidest story
I've ever heard.

Get a cigarette out for me.

Translation: Tammy King
Subtitles: Trans Titles Ltd.