Carol's Second Act (2019–…): Season 1, Episode 13 - Night Lemons - full transcript

So then the von Trapp family
makes it out of the theater

and crosses the Alps
together to freedom.

That's what The Sound of Music is about?

That's crazy.

The main girl is in love with a Nazi,

and you're supposed to root for her?

No, no, no. The main
character is Maria, the nun.

I don't get it.

This is why no one
likes your generation.

I'm not staying there
if there's a gas leak.

What do you mean, it might
help me sleep? Just fix it.



Ugh, I hate my landlord.

Do you hate hairbrushes, too?

Yeah.

You look like a bird
flew into your hair.

No shade. That's how I
ended up with this cut.

I had to flee my apartment.

I didn't have time to grab my hairbrush.

Now I have to find another
place to stay tonight.

Maybe I'll find an Airbnb, or
call me crazy, a regular B&B?

A B&B? Don't stay at some
weird old person's house.

Stay with me.

You'll have a bed, breakfast,

and nonstop access to
fresh fruit and friendship.

Really? That would be amazing.



You can sleep in Jenny's old room.

I promised her I
wouldn't read her diaries.

- But you didn't.
- Mm.

If I find out how old she was
when she lost her virginity,

should I tell you?

Lexie, she already told me. She was 26.

Having you stay over will be so fun.

I used to love slumber parties as a kid.

Oh, I was great at sleepovers.
I always stayed up the latest

and put everyone's
undies in the freezer.

Uh-oh. It's the party people.

You have permission to stay in my room,

and you also have permission
to read my diaries.

Aw, you guys give the same permissions.

I wish I could join, first for the fun,

and second, I have to borrow
all your pots and pans again.

What happened to your birthday pans?

I took them back to the store

and turned them into birthday earrings.

Have fun tonight, you guys.

You know, it's rude
to talk about an event

in front of someone
who hasn't been invited.

Oh, Dennis, are you jealous?

Course not.

But I swear to God, if you choreograph

any dances without me,
there will be hell to pay.

This patient was admitted
with cardiogenic shock.

We need to take his blood
pressure in real time.

He's sedated, so we can
insert the a-line. Observe.

Ah, yes.

The iPhone generation
loves using the ultrasound

to detect an artery.

Nothing's coming up.

Well,

looks like it's broken again.

- I think you just need to...
- It's broken.

- I think you just need to turn it on.
- I'll handle this.

No ultrasound? But how are
you gonna find the artery?

What if you miss?

Good thing I don't miss.

That's incredible.

He just inserted an a-line blind.

That's like putting in
contacts with a foam finger.

The patient is stable.

Let's move.

Technology has become a crutch.

New doctors are not learning the
clinical skills which have been

the foundation of medicine
for hundreds of years.

So I propose, for the next few days,

we stay away from technology

and we practice the fundamentals.

Whoa. We're going acoustic.

Dr. Frost Unplugged.

Excellent repartee, Dr. Sommers.

Great idea, Dr. Frost.

Teach these newbies a thing or two.

Well, I think you could benefit

from the back-to-basics
experience as well, Dr. Jacobs.

I can assure you, my skills
are more than sufficient.

Well, I am excited to see them.

Oh.

Hey! Dr. Jacobs,

you're one of us.

I will never be one of you.

Carol, I love your place.

- Not as many tchotchkes as I expected.
- Mm-hmm.

But about the right
amount of throw pillows.

Yeah.

Well, after my ex-husband
moved out, I redecorated a bit.

Give me a handful of throw pillows,

and I'll give you a home.

You really did win Teacher
of the Year every year.

2001, 2002, 2004... wait.

Where's 2003?

It's in there.

"Teacher of the Year
First Runner-Up 2003"?

Yeah.

Yeah, another teacher
saved the principal

from choking on a tater tot.

It's all politics.

So, what should we do first?

Binge a TV show, paint our nails...

Oh, we could prank-call Caleb.

Ooh. I was planning on taking a shower,

but I haven't prank-called
someone since junior high.

But we would need a landline.

Oh, you mean, like this?

Tell me it has a super long cord.

Oh, yeah.

The longest. I canceled
my cable from the toilet.

- Carol with her hair down?
- Mm.

I feel like I'm seeing
James Bond in flip-flops.

Oh, did you order food?

No, it's probably Jerry.

Who?

- Hey, there, Jer.
- Hello.

- Come on in. Meet my friend Lexie.
- Oh.

Hey, Lexie. Nice to meet you.

Hey, Carol, I picked these from my tree.

I wanted to bring them by because I know

how much you like making lemon bars.

Oh. You are the sweetest, Jerry.

Wow, you sure are.

Carol, where have you
been hiding this one?

Next door for the past 20 years.

You are so funny, Carol.

Hey, uh, while I was up on my
ladder picking these bad boys,

I noticed your gutters
were a little clogged.

I can clean them out for
you tomorrow if you like.

I will pay you in lemon bars.

Deal!

I'll give you change in smiles.

- All right. See you later, Carol.
- Okay.

- Always a pleasure. Hey, nice meeting you, Lexie.
- Hmm.

Well, well, well.

Hair-down Carol has a gentleman admirer.

What are you talking about?

Uh, old Jerry? He wants to
get in your gutters, girl.

He's just a good neighbor.

Carol, you're still wearing
your marriage glasses.

What? What do you mean by that?

Uh, how long were you married?

- 22 years.
- So for 22 years,

you were completely blind to
anyone showing interest in you.

Because what was the point?
You were practically dead.

But I'm not married anymore,

so how can I be wearing
marriage glasses?

Carol, it takes time to
break that long of a habit.

Jer is throwing love
beams in your direction,

and your marriage glasses
are blocking out the rays.

I can't see them because
they're not there.

All I'm saying is I'm not
exchanging night lemons

with my neighbors.

Jerry is a nice friend, end of story.

No. Jerry is in love
with you, end of story.

Now, let's call Caleb

and pretend we're Jane
Goodall and ask for money.

Dr. Sommers, nice job identifying

that positive egophony
in a patient's lungs.

And don't worry, you two.
You'll get better with practice.

A significant amount of practice.

Yeah, you guys.

When someone's lungs are
clear, and they say "A",

it sounds like, "Eh".

But when they have pneumonia,
it sounds like, "Ee".

Do you hear the difference? "Eh, ee..."

"Eh, ee,

eh, ee,

eh, ee, eh..."

- We got it!
- Excellent.

Ooh.

Our next patient has
dilated cardiomyopathy.

Who wants to learn a
cardiac percussion test?

It's a conga beat.

Ooh. Muy caliente.

Let's go.

This is ridiculous.

We've seen two patients in the time

it usually takes us to see ten.

You know how I know this is pointless?

Because Caleb is good at it.

We are paying the price for
Dr. Frost's technophobia.

Guys, this chest isn't gonna tap itself.

Let's move.

Oh, this has to stop.

Thanks for letting me stay
with you, but don't worry,

I'm going home tonight so you
and Jerry can finally smash.

You know, I don't usually
say things like this

to people who I care about, but zip it.

Why are you telling Lexie to zip it?

I was talking about Carol's boyfriend.

- Mm. How is Jerry?
- Jenny.

- I knew it!
- Oh, is he still bringing her love lemons?

Carol's got a man-friend?
Oh, tell me everything.

No. He's not my man-friend.

He's a man who is my friend.

You know, men can be nice to
women they don't want to date.

Rarely.

But if they like you,
they'll do anything.

I've, uh, never had to
hire a mover in my life.

You know, this seems like a
very outdated point of view,

and that's coming from me.

You've seen my landline.

All right, allow me to demonstrate.

Hey, uh, can you grab me some ketchup?

You have legs. I'm busy.

Now, observe this.

Hey, Jake.

Hey, Lexie, what's up?

I need to get my tires rotated,
but I don't feel like it.

Can you drive it to the garage

and have them do it and
then bring it back here?

Yeah, sure, of course. When? Now?

I could take a sick day.

You know what? Never mind.

Just grab me some ketchup.

Oh, my gosh. I think
you guys might be right.

Have I been wearing marriage glasses?

Does Jerry really have feelings for me?

Yes!

Carol, are you gonna get with Jerry?

Oh, gosh, no.

No, no. Jerry is not my type.

He's too gentle.

You know, I like a man with an edge,

like Harry Connick Jr.

Ooh, Carol.

Girl, you a freak.

Oh, my God.

Where do you want to live?

Yes.

Enjoy your new friends.

Hey, Jerry.

Thanks for coming.

What's this?

Lemon bars.

I realized today, what with
your busy doctor schedule,

you might not have time
to make them yourself,

so I whipped you up a batch.

Oh, sweet, gentle Jerry.

Come on in.

Now, they are a little unconventional.

I added just a hint of freshly
grated nutmeg for some spice.

Jerry,

we need to talk.

Is it the gutters?

You know, there was a crow up
there giving me the business,

so I didn't clean them out
quite as thoroughly as I wanted.

No. It's not that.

Jerry,

you are such a nice guy
and a great neighbor.

This is hard to say.

But... I can tell you
have feelings for me...

Nope, nope. No, I do not.

- What?
- I-I...

I am sorry for any misunderstanding.

I mean, you are a-a nifty gal

and-and a nice neighbor, but, yeah,

that is, that's it.

But... you're always bringing me lemons.

The constant lemons.

My tree makes too many;
if I don't get rid of them,

I wind up with a real squirrel problem.

But all the chores.

I just wanted to lend a hand.

I mean, ever since your
divorce, you've been all alone.

I guess, I just felt sorry for you.

I... Oh, I didn't...

I got to go.

I feel like I came at a bad time.

Oh, there she is. How'd it
go last night with Jerry?

You two bump oldies?

Oh, you didn't tell her?

Yes, I talked to Jerry

and made a complete ass out of myself.

It was so embarrassing.

What happened?

Jerry told me he didn't have

any romantic feelings toward me

and we were just neighbors and friends.

Gee, does that sound
familiar to you two?

Yeah, that's exactly what you said. Oh.

I'm sorry, Mom, but all
the signs were there.

It was so awkward.

Plus, he still has my air fryer.
I'm never gonna see that again.

So...

just like that, no more Jerry.

And by the way, why isn't
Jerry interested in me?

The man has prescription
halitosis medication.

I felt bad before. Now I feel worse.

Man, I was so sure.

Uh, maybe the olds just
communicate differently.

Yeah, I wouldn't show
up to someone's house

unless I was basically proposing.

Maybe that lemon farmer
was just neighborly.

Maybe he feared that
if he spoke his truth,

his heart would be broken.

Or whatever. I don't know. Shut up!

Mrs. Ferguson.

Our next patient

is a 70-year-old female

admitted with chest pains and dizziness.

Dr. Jacobs, why don't you take

your stethoscope and have a listen.

Actually, sir, we're
running very behind.

To speed things up, I grabbed
this portable ultrasound.

It can give us results in seconds.

Well, that sounds like
the perfect solution

for a doctor on the go.

It connects directly to
your phone through Bluetooth.

Boom! Check out this picture quality.

That is a clear aortic stenosis.

Guys, I thought we were trying to...

I'm holding her heart in my hand.

Well, if everyone's excited about this,

let me take a look.

Just, uh,

connecting to Bluetooth.

Uh, sir, you just

Air Dropped me photos of
a child's birthday party.

Oh. That's my grandson Robbie.

Boy, does he love licking the ground.

Ah, one of those days, huh?

Little bit. Something embarrassing

happened in my personal life.

Ah. Toilet paper stuck to your shoe?

Oh, no, worse.

Oh. Well, you also have toilet paper

stuck to your shoe.

Ah, of course I do.

No, I just thought
someone was romantically

interested in me, and it turns
out he just had too many lemons.

Ah, easy mistake to make.

No, he didn't think so.

He seemed pretty horrified by the idea.

Oh, that's absurd.

You have the grace of
a long-distance runner

and the passion of a
short-distance runner.

Wow, thank you.

That means... something.

Dr. Kenney, if I may say
so, that man's a damn fool.

You are a catch and a half.

Here she comes.

Okay, we want to look
sorry, but not unforgivable.

Okay.

I can tell by the look on
your faces that you're sorry.

And I forgive you.

- Nailed it.
- Uh-uh.

We feel bad that we may have

led you down the wrong path with Jerry.

So, we brought you these gifts.

It's a bag of lemon-flavored
protein bars from the gift shop.

They're terrible.

Aw.

Thank you.

You two are manipulative monsters.

But something kind of
good did come out of this.

I realized I have been
wearing marriage glasses.

And I think

it might be time for
me to take them off.

Gentlemen, I'm ready.

Welcome to Carol's grand opening!

Mom, no. No, don't say that.

- Ever to anyone.
- Oh.

But I'm really happy
you're ready to date.

I have to admit, it was
nice to think that someone

was interested for a minute,
even if it was just Jerry,

who is the last person on Earth
I would ever want to be with.

Carol!

Jerry.

What are you doing here?

I feel like I should call security,

but what if we just let
this play out for a minute?

Carol, I'm about to do something

I should've done a long time ago.

I want to tell the whole
world that I love you.

Oh, no.

Oh, yes!

Oh, boy.

Carol, last night, I
was caught off guard.

I've imagined that moment
between us for so long,

I panicked.

But the truth is...

I love you.

- Jerry, you don't mean that.
- I do.

I planted that lemon tree just for you.

Okay, that makes me nervous.

I have waited patiently
since your divorce,

but our time is now.

I didn't want to let
another minute go by

without telling you how I feel.

Okay, but just FYI, I would've
been home in, like, 45 minutes.

Patient is a 30-year-old
female with shortness of breath,

a slight fever and a cough.

Urgent care gave me some antibiotics,

but they only made me feel worse.

I'm so tired.

Honestly, it's hard to
walk more than ten steps.

Plus, I can't get
rid of this stupid cough.

It's so annoying.

Interns, what's your diagnosis?

The weakness, fever and persistent cough

all point to atypical pneumonia.

If you look at her chest ultrasound...

you can see the fluid in the
lungs, indicating pneumonia.

So, I'll start her on stronger
antibiotics and we can move on.

- I'd still like to take a listen.
- Oh.

If you're having trouble
connecting your phone,

you can use mine.

Well, no need.

But just a warning, if
you put her on antibiotics

for pneumonia, she'll die.

Maybe don't put me on the antibiotics.

She doesn't have pneumonia.
She has a pleural effusion.

And it's easy to misdiagnose.

The fluid you saw in the
ultrasound isn't in her lungs.

It's behind her lungs.

And you can tell by
listening to her heart.

Doctor, could you?

You can hear it struggling to pump.

We need to start her on
a diuretic immediately

to relieve pressure from her lungs.

Okay, I'll write in the order.

Ms. Ocampo, you're gonna be just fine.

I'd prefer it if the gray-haired doctor

did everything from now on.

Sir, you got all that from
listening to her heart?

- That is...
- Badass!

Forgive me, sir.

Technology is great,

and I could stand to
embrace it a bit more,

but it's no substitute
for clinical skill.

We do everything at
such a high speed now

that sometimes we don't take
the extra time to really listen.

You're absolutely right, Dr. Frost.

Thank you for the reminder.

You're welcome.

Now, I know I look
impressive right now...

... and I hate to admit this,

but somehow I've managed to
lock myself out of my phone.

Can you believe they only
give you eight guesses?

Hey, how did Jerry take
it? You let him down easy?

I thought so, but then

last night he chopped
down the lemon tree.

So... maybe it's for the best.

Mm, yeah. Hey, Jerry wasn't
the right guy for you.

That just means someone else will be.

Someone without halitosis.

You're right.

From now on, I'm gonna be open
to seeing romantic possibility

- wherever it may present itself.
- Mm-hmm.

Dr. Kenney, just the
person I wanted to see.

I have a gift for you.

A gift?

Yes, a very special gift, just for you.

A reflex hammer.

Wow, I don't know what to say.

It's so thoughtful, Dr. Frost.

I'm-I'm flattered.

And, Dr. Gilani, I also have something

very special for you.

Oh, sweet! A reflex hammer!

I've always wanted one of these.

It's always just a minute too late.

All right, drain snaked.
gross level: high.

I could build you a man with the
hair that was lodged in there.

Ew.

- We done now?
- No.

Your terrible advice
cost me my handy neighbor,

so you're gonna be making
this up to me for a long time.

Fine. What's next?

Um, the knob on the bannister is loose.

Oh, and after that, can you go
outside and tackle the gutters?

Mm, you got that, Jake?

Yeah, bannisters, gutters.

Right away.

He's a good man.

You two are terrible.

But very fun.

Now...

- let's prank-call Caleb again.
- Ooh, yeah.