Captain Planet and the Planeteers (1990–1996): Season 6, Episode 11 - Never the Twain Shall Meet - full transcript

Captain Planet:
By your powers combined,

I am Captain Planet!

* Captain Planet, he's the man

* Leading the charge,
Earth's number-one fan *

* Check him out,
you're gonna see *

* He's the mega mac daddy
of ecology *

* Cap's the hero
with the gumption *

* Takes on the overpopulation
and consumption *

* Yeah, he could use
a better groomer *

* Some people say
he's got a bad sense of humor *

[ Singsong voice ]
I'm back!



* But when eco-villains
run amok *

* Plundering and pillaging,
yuk! *

* Cap's going to level
the playing field *

* With a PhD
in sustainable yield *

* But he's not the only hero
for Earth *

* Gaia's wisdom
gave the Planeteers birth *

* Wheeler has the fire

* Ma-Ti's got heart

* Gi's got the power
to make waters part *

* Kwame's rockin'
with element Earth *

* And Linka uses wind
for all she's worth *

* Still Greedlys and Blights
trash our planet *

* It's up to us to say,
"We won't stand it!" *

* Raise your voice
and challenge your peers *



* Say it's way cool
to be Planeteers *

Captain Planet:
The power is yours!

Wheeler: Whoa!
Big mama sure is a beauty.

I wouldn't get
too intimate, Wheeler.

Hey, you want
great animal shots,

you gotta get
up close and personal.

Right?

[ Elephant trumpets ]

Oh, not that personal!

Come on!
Over here!

Yah!

Aah!

Need a lift?

Cutting it a little close,
eh, Chike?

Kwame: Amazing how something
so big can move so fast.

You ain't kiddin'.

I almost got stuck
between Jumbo's cuticles.

There's a shot that'll keep you
out of trouble, Wheeler.

Linka: This country is like
the Garden of Eden.

And, as long as these
little guys are around,

it'll stay that way.

What is it?

Tsetse fly.

They cause sleeping sickness
in cattle.

So ranchers have to stay
out of their territory.

Pretty powerful
little fella.

Yeah, but massive
pesticide spraying

is wiping them out,

opening this land
for cattle ranching

and other development.

But there must be ways to use
the land that won't hurt it.

Sure, game ranching,
for one.

Trophy hunting and tourism
bring in some bucks as well.

Yes. When I'm not
working on films with Ricky,

I make a pretty good living
leading photo safaris.

I wish everyone would trade
their guns for cameras.

To each his own.

The most important thing
is to preserve the resource.

Aah!

[ Grunting ]

[ Chattering ]

I'll get you,
you little --

[ Laughs ]
You're not supposed to feed

the animals, Wheeler.

[ Laughter ]

Very funny.

Besides getting people to laugh
at comedy shots of Wheeler,

do you think this film can
really make a difference, Rick?

I hope it will get people
to start respecting the land.

At the very least,

it'll be a reminder
of how much we're losing.

If anyone can bring attention
to the devastation of Africa,

it's Ricky.

[ Engine sputters ]

Uh-oh.
Darn battery.

We need a push start.

With that out there?

You don't look like
much of a meal.

Nice kitty.

I hope.

Ultralights!
Cool!

Not as cool as the place
we're going.

And these helmets
have radios

so we can communicate
with each other.

I'll catch up with you
in the delta.

Right now, I've got
some rhinos to tag.

Ma-Ti: I've never seen
so much wildlife in one place.

It's the dry season.

Animals all over
migrate here for water.

Now, get ready for one
of the most memorable sites

you'll ever see.

[ Gasps ]

What?

It wasn't like
this a month ago.

[ Elephant trumpets ]

What could've caused this?
That dam?

Linka: Those hoses are
sucking up all the water.

This is unreal.

Don't know who's
behind this atrocity.

Without water, the animals
will never make it.

And we must help them.

Heart!

Turn back, my friends.
There is danger ahead.

Impressive, Ma-Ti.

But thousands of thirsty animals
are migrating this way.

And we can't
stop them all.

Kwame:
Maybe we should split up

and follow the pipes
to their sources.

We can't just leave
these animals here to die.

You're right.

Kwame, Linka, Wheeler,
follow the north pipeline

and see what you'll find.

We'll land here and do
what we can, then head south.

Wheeler:
Sounds like a plan.

Wheeler, film
everything you see.

We need evidence.

Gotcha.

Chike, change of plans.

I heard it all, Ricky.
Sounds awful.

I'll see what I can
find out in town.

Meanwhile,
you be careful.

Easy, now.
Heart!

That's one.

This is going
to take a while.

Kwame: Cattle, that explains
why they rerouted the water.

But why is the land
on the cattle side

so messed up?

This ecosystem is fragile.

Cattle graze it
to death, literally.

Who would start
a cattle ranch here?

Would you believe
Hoggish Greedly?

Rick: That's all we can do
for these animals.

The important thing
is getting their water back.

Let's get this crate down
so me and my camera

can get the goods
on Greedly.

Wheeler, your radio's open!

Get off the air before
the wrong people hear you!

Greedly:
Too late, bile boobs.

I hear ya and see ya.

We gotta get that film,
Rigger.

Right, boss!
Uh, how come?

If the global bank people

find out about
our bad-beef scheme,

they might cancel
our loans.

Oh. Oh!

[ Brakes squeak ]

What about my allowance?

Unless we clip
the Snoop-eteers' wings...

[ Gasps ]

Consider 'em
clipped, boss.

Careful!

No sweat, Linka.
Nothin' to worry about.

[ Boom! ]

Aah!

[ Screaming ]

We are out of the flying pan
and into Greedly's line of fire!

Ma-Ti:
Looten Plunder's Diamond Mine?

Bad news.

What would they
need water for?

Rick: Cooling and processing,
no doubt.

But we're going to have
to go in and document it.

I doubt Plunder will
welcome us with open arms.

More like loaded arms.

This air vent should lead
to one of the main shafts.

All clear.

Pay dirt!

This is what they're using
all that water for?

Right. And wrecking
the land to boot

just so a few people
can get rich.

Phew.

Working down here
must be terrible.

Plunder: You think our miners
have it bad?

Wait'll you see what we do
to meddling eco-spies.

Greedly took care
of your little friends

and tipped us off.

Looks like we're caught
between a blockhead

and a hard case.

Um, you can be
the blockhead, Oakey.

-Oh, no. You, Dokey.
-No, no, you.

-Unh-unh.
-No, you're the one!

I'll take that camera.

Ah, ooh, ooh!
Ooh! Ow!

Mr. Plunder, you okay?

Wake up.

Come on, get up.

Let's get out of here!

After them!
They're getting away!

It ain't safe,
Mr. Plunder.

Why not?

Well, remember
how you told us

to fix the brakes
on those mine cars?

Yeah, we, um --

Well, we didn't quite
get around to it.

Uh, no,
we didn't quite get

to fixin' the track,
neither.

Your negligence could
end up hurting people!

Ooh, and I like it.

We did good?

Looks clear.

Let's stop this thing
and find a way out.

-Uh-oh.
-No brakes!

[ Screaming ]

Maybe this'll help!

We're going way too fast!

Fast is okay.

It's stopping
that's going to hurt.

[ Screaming ]

Hang on to me!

Whew!
That was exciting.

Plunder nearly
got us that time.

Nearly doesn't count.

Yeah.

But I wonder what
Greedly's done to the others.

Hey. Yuck.

Check it out.

Kwame: Ugh! Cattle are not
native to Africa.

They have no immunity
to local parasites or disease.

Rigger: But, boss,
I'm afraid of the dark!

You should be
more afraid of me!

I want that film.

Head for that building
over there.

Time to make like cows
and mooove.

Wheeler!

I gotta get this.

DDT and dieldrin?

Those pesticides
are so deadly,

most countries
have outlawed them.

With all those Planet-pains
runnin' around,

we better speed things up.

Uh, what are we doin'?

Dumpin' this DDT
on the delta.

It'll kill every tsetse fly
and mosquito around.

[ Laughs ]

Why do we wanna
kill bugs, boss?

'Cause then we can use
that land for cattle ranching

and convince the pencil heads
at the global bank

to finance draining
the rest of the wetlands.

But the pesticides'll
end up in the beef.

So what?

I'm not gonna eat it.

In fact [burps]
nobody is.

-They're not?
-Course not!

This whole project's pork.
Our cows ain't fit to eat.

[ Snorts ]

Bozhe moi!

Are you recording
this conversation, Wheeler?

Tape's rollin', babe.

And now it's time
for us to roll.

Come on.
Home free.

[ Can clatters ]

I found
the Planet-punks, boss.

Yip! Yip!
I found 'em!

Get 'em!

Not this time!
Wind!

Let's book!

We're out of here!

Over my dead body!

Hang tight!

Fire!

[ Snorts ]

I'm gonna exterminate
those Planet-pests!

I don't get it!

Bio-brat brains
should be everywhere!

I thought we were lookin'
for bones, Dokey.

Yeah, I know, Oakey.
But this ain't a bone.

Ow!

No, but it sure is pretty.

Hey.
See, Mr. Plunder?

Don't bother me
with your nonsense.

There's the ultralight.
We made it.

Or maybe not.

-Good to see you!
-You're okay!

Let's crank this baby up.

Watch out
for that pipeline!

Huh?

I will buy us some time.
Earth!

I can't get enough lift.

Then we need a push.
Wind!

Oops. They got away.

Kwame: There they are,
Greedly's pesticide planes.

We need more speed.

How about another
boost, Linka?

Da! Wind!

Hang on!

Since you're the booster
for this buggy,

Kwame, Gi, and I will do
a little wing walking.

-Go, Kwame!
-Right!

Aah!

Aah!

Wind!

Gotcha!

That's far enough.

Okay, okay!

But why are you
doing this?

Mr. Greedly's going
to make me rich.

Oh, yeah? Has he ever
paid you for anything?

No.

And he's not gonna.
Think about it.

Greedly's long on promises
and short on payments.

Mission accomplished.

Nice work, Planeteers.

Two down, one to go.

After we drop
our poison payload, Rigger,

we'll go back and take care
of those eco-insects.

[ Snorts ]

Don't have to, boss!

They're right next to us!

Huh?

Then it's bug bombs away!

There you go,
little guy.

[ Elephant trumpets ]

Ooh, looks like trouble.

That cloud's headed
this way.

Talk about a big bug bomb.

Hey, Kwame, it's time
for a nightcap.

Then let our powers combine.
Earth!

Fire!

Wind!

Gi: Water!

Heart!

By your powers combined,

I am Captain Planet!

I'll just drop in
and put an end

to Greedly's deadly downpour.

You've got 10 to bail,
Greedly.

I'm confiscating this plane
to clean up your mess.

Hey! You can't do that!

9...8...

7, 6, 5...

4...

Gee, boss,
this special meal

you ordered took up
too much space!

We only have one parachute!

One's all I need!

Hey, wait for me!

Get off me, Rigger!

You're too heavy!

They say nature
abhors a vacuum.

But I think it'll like
this one.

Now to do a little
sucking up to the environment.

[ Cheering ]

-Yay!
-Captain Planet!

Phew.
I'm glad that's over.

Da.
Now, we can relax.

[ Gasps ]

Those eco-meddlers
think they've won.

But I've still got a shot
to get this delta gone.

Unh-unh-unh.
No strafing the spray planes.

Bank shot!
Behind the back!

Oh, between the legs!

Looks like Plunders putting
the wet back in the wetlands.

[ Laughs ]

That should wrap
up our problems

and save our...

dam!

Bozhe moi!
Too much water!

I'll end this flood
in a flash.

The rain again falls plainly
on the, uh, delta.

[ Cheering ]

That's amazing!

[ Grunting ]

Come on out,
pretty rock.

Will you stop playing
with that stupid rock?

You better stop, Oakey.

I'll get rid of it,
Mr. Plunder.

[ Gasps ] Wait!

That's the world's
biggest...

diamond.

[ Sobs ]

You dimwit,
now find it.

I'll try, Mr. Plunder.

I don't think
you have time.

But -- But --
But my diamond.

Smile.
You're on Captain's camera.

Help! Help!

Have a heart!

Man, when they see this film,

the global bank will
have to think twice

about the projects
they fund.

Do you think change
can happen soon enough

to save the delta?

Only if people care
and find a way

to use Africa's resources
to benefit everyone.

Rick: If not, you're looking
at the end of Eden.

Earth!

Fire!

Wind!

Water!
Heart!

All: Go, Planet!

By your powers combined,
I am Captain Planet!

* Captain Planet

* He's our hero

* Gonna take pollution
down to zero *

* He's our powers magnified

* And he's fighting
on the planet's side *

* Captain Planet

* He's our hero

* Gonna take pollution
down to zero *

* Gonna help him put asunder

* Bad guys who like
to loot and plunder *

You'll pay for this,
Captain Planet!

* We're the Planeteers,
you can be one, too *

* 'Cause saving our planet
is the thing to do *

* Looting and polluting
is not the way *

* Hear what Captain Planet
has to say *

The power is yours!

**