CHiPs (1977–1983): Season 3, Episode 12 - Destruction Derby - full transcript

On a day like this
I get to thinking

I'm in the
wrong line of work.

I should've been
a lifeguard.

Look at it
this way, Ponch.

We're out here
doing our thing

on these hot streets
and blistering freeways.

We are lifeguards, huh?

Gee, Jon, I feel better
already, you know?

- Oh, man, I'm sorry. Here.
- Sorry, sorry.

'LAPD reports
a possible 211 suspect.'

'Male Caucasian, last seen
on a red motorcycle.'



'Eastbound on Seaside
at 9th Street.'

Let's check him out.

LA-15, 7 Mary-3

in pursuit of 211 suspect
east on 9th Street.

'10-4, 7 Mary-3.'

'Stay with him!'

Excuse me.
You alright?

I, uh, I don't know.
I think so.

See what that
dumb nerd did?

Yeah, we saw.

Why?
Why did he do that?

My partner and I
were chasing him.

I guess he figured we'd both
stop if there was an accident.

Come on, let me
help you up.



Ow!

What's the matter?

My legs.

They feel funny.
Kinda numb.

LA-15, 7 Mary-4.

Roll an ambulance
at Seaside and 12th.

Motorcycle versus Bicycle.
11-81.

'10-4, Mary-4.'

'Be advised Mary-3
terminated pursuit'

'at Santa Monica pier.'

10-4.

Hey, I thought I asked you

not to try to get up,
remember?

I'll get up if I want to.
What about my bike?

I'll have it delivered
to your front door.

Now relax. I've got an
ambulance on the way.

Wait a minute.

That's your partner?

Yeah.
Name of Jon Baker.

Ugly rascal,
isn't he?

Meet Kelly Adams.
Wanna bring her up to date?

Yeah, Kelly, look

I'm afraid the news
isn't very good.

He got away, didn't he?

Is that what you're
gonna tell me?

Well, what happened was--

'I don't care what happened.'

He got away and I don't ever
wanna see you guys again!

You better get going.

Hi, Ponch.

Hey, Timmy,
how you doing?

Great. I'm going to the gym
to do my exercises.

Hey, good for you.

- See ya later.
- Alright.

Well, hello.

Tell me, Lori, when you gonna
give up this wild, fast life

settle down, and marry me?

When you give up your
other 20 girlfriends.

Ooh, decisions,
decisions.

Is this visit business
or pleasure?

A little of both.

I'd like to go over the
program with you for Saturday

See if we forgot anything.
You got time?

Got about 10 minutes.

Good.

Lori, the girl at the table
out there with the people

is that Kelly Adams?

Mm-hmm.
She a friend of yours?

Jon and I saw her get hurt.
How's she doing?

She just checked in yesterday.
We're still making tests.

Her accident happened
3 weeks ago.

- Paralysis.

She wasn't responding to
treatment at the other hospital

so they sent her over here
for physical therapy.

Be alright
if I say hello?

Sure. It's her mother
and father by the way.

- Thanks. Be right back.
- Okay.

- Hi, Ponch.
- Hi, Susie.

How goes the battle?

- I'm going home tomorrow.
- Great.

But I'm still going
to the picnic.

Good.
I'll see you there. Bye.

'Bye.'

Well, if it ain't
the fuzz.

Did you make your quota
of tickets for today?

How many times
I gotta tell ya, T.C.?

- So I forgot.

Hey, Ponch, did anyone
ever steal your motorcycle?

Heh. No.

Be funny
if someone did, huh?

No.

You fuzz ain't got
no sense of humor.

Ha-ha.

Hi.

Hi.

I'm Officer Poncherello.

You're the officer
who helped Kelly.

He didn't help me.

- Honey, please.
- Well, he didn't.

How you doing, sweetheart?

She's doing fine,
just fine.

The doctors say
if she does her exercises

she'll be going home
in no time at all.

Doctors are a bunch of liars

just like at
the other hospital.

Baby, I wish you
wouldn't talk like that.

Did you ever
catch that nerd?

No, but we will.

Sure you will.

Just like the doctors
will have me walking again.

Go away, will you?

Um, I'm sorry.

Not your fault.

Thanks for stopping by.

We do appreciate
your concern.

Sure.

Hey, Ponch.

I just made a bet
with my buddy here

that you wouldn't do it.

Do what?

Race me.

'What kind of race?'

In these.

You won the bet.

See, I told you
he was chicken.

Chicken?

Okay, when I say go, you must
circle each column once

then you race back to here.

Ready..

...get set..

...go!

Go, T.C!
T.C., go!

Don't shove it so hard.

Smooth and easy does it.

Thanks a lot.

Go. Go, T.C.

'T.C., go.'

'Come on, T.C.'

'T.C., come on.
Alright.'

'Come on, T.C.'

Nice going, Ponch.

Yeah, once more around,
I would've had her.

Sure you would.

Listen, I gotta
get back to work.

I'll see you Saturday.
You tell T.C. I wanna rematch.

Anytime.

Got one.

Right on.

Get lost, will ya?

Peggy's no problem.
Right, baby?

For sure. I could care less
what you guys do.

About everything?

Most everything.

Here's the address.

'How long will it take
to do the job?'

If I don't run into
any trouble, about 20 minutes.

Trouble?
What kind of trouble?

Who knows? Cops.
A pretty girl.

You'd better not.

'Don't kid around,
will ya, Chuck?'

Sorry.

I gotta get back to work.
You about finished?

Relax, will ya, Danny?

- Easy for you to say.
- 'And do.'

Chuck's Mr. Cool,
and that's for sure.

Only way to fly.
Finis.

'Be sure to pick me up
at the pier.'

And, uh, stay loose, okay?

- All the time.

Being brothers,
you sure are different.

In what way?

Well, you're such a
take-charge kinda dude

and Danny, he's always
four steps behind you.

It works.

Hey, how would you
like to take a ride

in a set of wheels
like that?

'Crazy.'

But how are you gonna
make that happen?

Hmm, I got
my ways and means.

I gotta go.

One last item,
which should interest

Baker, Poncherello,
and Turner in particular

'concerning the
Marina Del Rey area.'

Don't tell us.

String bikinis
have been outlawed.

Aha.

Well, if you're thinking
of wearing one, Grossman

I'd suggest rope, not string.

Yeah, see?

Hey!

In the last few weeks

thieves have been hitting
the Marina pretty heavily.

But we think we know
how this is being done.

Tell us about it, sarge.
We're all ears.

Well, that's a good way
to be, Baricza.

More ears, less mouth.

This is how
it's being done.

The thief or thieves
use stolen motorcycles

leaving them somewhere
after the robberies.

They hit condos,
never homes.

'This way, they can easily
be mistaken for tenants.'

'Now, there's never any sign
of forced entry.'

'The owners in
every instance say'

'that the condos
were securely locked.'

Also, the thieves know
just when to make their hits.

The owners or their hired help
are never on the premises.

'These crooks know good stuff
when they see it.'

'Quality loot
is all they ever take.'

'That plus cash.'

'Small, expensive items
that are easy to carry'

'easy to fence.'

'After one thief
rips off a house'

'his partner waits for him
at a given point'

'and they flee from that point
in another vehicle.'

A week or so ago,
as you all know

Baker and Poncherello
were aced out of a capture

when the crooks used a boat
to make their escape.

LAPD come up
with anything?

Negative. No broken windows,
jimmied doors

no fingerprints.

In other words,
duplicate keys.

Yeah, but how would
they get one?

That's a good question.

Right now, we're
working on an answer.

Okay, let's get
out among 'em.

- Yeah.

Ohh.

You see that, Jon?
Just like I tell you.

She's always
throwing herself at me.

Ahh, dreamer. I need
to talk to you guys.

I'm in charge of the food
and stuff for the picnic.

Now hold on. Let me see,
Evans, ice cream, check.

Donner, cake, check.
Cowen, hot dogs, check.

Here you are.
Poncherello, baked beans.

Did you get
the baked beans?

Yeah. I-I got
a whole bunch of it.

Good. Uh, Poncherello,
baked beans, check.

Jon, I've got you down
for paper plates and napkins.

Yeah, yeah. I got enough
to feed a small army.

Great. Hmm.
That takes care of that.

Now all I have to do
is make sure that

Sergeant Getraer got the
balloons, and I'm all finished.

You're doing a fine job, Bonnie.
Keep up the good work.

I will.
Did you guys get that stuff?

- Yeah, sure.
- We got a whole bunch of it.

We got it all.
Catch ya later, alright?

- Bye-bye.
- See ya.

Remind me to get some
baked beans, will ya?

Yeah, at the same time,
you remind me

to get the paper plates.

Yeah. Did you hear
what she made Getraer get?

Balloons. Balloons!

Whoo-hoo.
Cassie, good shot.

That puts your team ahead.

- Oh, I am.

Here you go.

Good luck.

Whoa ho ho..

Good.

Yeah, right. What I got?
I gotta have baked here.

Beans for you?

Huh?
There we go.

There we are.

Don't you worry.
There's plenty more.

So you come back, huh?

Sarge, you put enough
food on that plate

to feed a baseball team.

Nonsense.
He's a growing boy.

He eats all that,
he'll grow, alright.

About six feet wide.

Huh. Yeah.

Yay.

- Yay.
- Alright.

- Over a hundred.

But we never really
wanna go that fast.

Better to put up roadblocks.
Stop a criminal that way.

You got it!

'The guy's pretty smart.'

Your wrist is too stiff.

Cool it, T.C. I know how
to shoot basketball.

Like I said,
your wrist is too stiff.

Alright, expert, show me.

Loose wrist does it
every time.

I'll be right back,
T.C., okay?

Okay.

Hi.
Having fun?

No, I'm not.

Well, why not?

I didn't wanna come
to this stupid thing.

They made me.

So why don't you make
the most of it, huh?

Because I don't
want to, that's why.

'Why don't you go away?
Just leave me alone.'

Hey, what is it
with you, anyway?

You don't like doctors,
you don't like cops.

You think we're all a bunch
of liars or something.

Because doctors are liars.

Telling me I'd get better.

Walk again if I
did my exercises.

Well, I did them!

Did everything
they told me.

I tried.
Tried as hard as I could.

And nothing happened.
Nothing.

Maybe you gave up too soon.

That's what they said.

But when I asked them
when I would walk

they couldn't tell me.

You know, it's not easy

to give an answer
to injuries like yours.

I know the answer. Never!
I'll never walk again.

Bunch of liars.

Tell me, have you
caught that guy yet

'like you said you would?'

- No, but--
- Yeah, you will.

I know.
I've heard it before.

This is alright, huh?

Yeah.

Out of sight.

Tell me, lover, where'd you get
this beautiful set of wheels?

Would you believe in
a box of cracker jacks?

If you say so.

Hey, move it
over here, doll.

Nice little kiddie car
you got there, fella.

Don't forget to wind
the rubber bands.

Okay, hang on, kids.

That's good.

Take care of the kids,
would ya?

Come on, Bear, let's go.
Saw a felony suspect.

What are they doing?
Giving a demonstration?

No, honey.
I think it's the real thing.

'There he is.'

Okay, let's take him.

Damn.

- Yeah, believe it. Hang on.

What are you trying to do,
get us killed?

Just stop the car,
okay, Chuck?

Baby, that's 5 years
in jail chasing me.

Then just let me out,
please?

Hey, chick,
you want out, jump.

Now we lose them.

Aah!

- 'I think so.'

I think my seat belt
saved me.

Okay. Don't try to move.
Understand?

We'll have you out of there
as soon as we can.

Better play it safe.
Call an ambulance.

Yeah, right.

I don't understand.
It happened so fast.

Yes, sir.
It usually does.

Relax in there, okay?

Hey, how you doing?

Well, did you miss me?

Hey, I'll ask
the questions.

Where you guys been?
What was that all about?

Remember the clown
that ran off the pier?

Yeah, I remember.
Just tell me one thing.

Did you get him, I hope?

Uh, no.

'This time the guy nearly
killed somebody, too.'

I have the hospital report.

That guy's just shaken up.

A few bumps and bruises,
that's all.

First the Adams girl,
and now this.

Nice class of crooks
you guys hang out with.

Hey, just so we get
better acquainted, that's all.

I checked on what you said at
briefing, about duplicate keys.

Only the owners and
the janitor have duplicate keys.

And the janitor's been there six
years and doesn't have a record.

That's no help.

'I found out one more thing
when I questioned the owners.'

Their places were all ripped off
while they were out to lunch.

- People gotta eat.
- Yeah, true.

But they were all eating
at the same restaurant.

Good evening, sir.

Will you gentlemen
be staying for dinner?

That's our plan unless

you've run out of
T-bone steaks.

There's no danger
of that happening.

Enjoy your meal.

Hey, treat her gently, would ya?
It's all I own.

Good thinking.

If that guy's ripping
off apartments

I hope he leaves
mine alone.

You recognize him?

He looks like that guy
that was driving the boat

But I couldn't swear to it.

The other one though,
I'd recognize if I saw him.

We're dealing with thieves
who plan ahead

which means the other guy

probably never
shows his face around here.

Oh, no, no, now,
don't be so sure.

I got a plan.
You wanna listen to it?

It was a great notion, Baker.

When I told it to the captain,
he thought it was great

only we can't do it.

Why not?

Because it smacks
of entrapment.

What do we do?

Wait until the guy kills
somebody

in their own apartment?

Sometimes it's a good idea
to throw the book away.

The captain knows that, too.

Well, then what's the problem?

Money's the problem.
About $100,000's worth.

The department won't put up

or be responsible
for that kind of loot.

Hey, if that's all that's
bothering the captain

tell him not to worry.

We'll take care of
that department.

'
- We'll take care of it.

Yeah. It's another one
of our great ideas.

Oh, I gotta see that one.

'Okay, now, let me
understand this.'

You want the use
of my place

for one afternoon
this week, right?

Right.
I'll tell you when.

- I can't.

- It's police business.
- Oh.

I'll take full
responsibility.

Okay. Well, try not to get
anything on the rug, okay?

'Cause I just got it cleaned.

Yeah, okay.

Okay.

You know, Jon, I'm always happy
to help you fellas out.

What is it this time, huh?
Policemen's benefit?

Whatever.
Put me down for a dozen tickets.

Not this time, Mr. Dawson,
but thanks anyway.

Well, what is it?

Well, I'd just like
to borrow something you have

just for an afternoon.

Borrow?

Yeah.

Why, sure.
No problem.

You've got it.
What do you need, huh?

That.

'Sure I remember when
the Rivas gang jumped me.'

And who pulled them off you?

Well, you did.

After they busted
my nose.

'Better late than never.'

So, I owe you?
What do you want?

Oh, just the loan of
a couple of things

for an afternoon.

Like what?

Like, uh..
This and uh..

...this and a couple of these.

Those little things
add up to about $50,000.

Yeah, that should do.

What happened here?

You send all
your patients home?

Oh, I wish I could.

Most of them are downstairs
watching a movie.

Well, I see Kelly Adams
is with them.

No, she isn't.

We transferred her
to a private room

down at the end of the hall.

- 'Her attitude.'

We thought it best for
the rest of the patients

for a while, anyway.

She's not doing
too good, is she?

- 'No. We're worried about her.'

She has to exercise those leg
muscles at least 3 times a day.

She flatly refuses
to do any of it.

What could happen to her?

She could spend the rest
of her life in a wheelchair.

- 'That bad.'

Could I see her
for a minute?

Go ahead.

But don't be surprised if she
gives you a hard time.

Won't be any different
than any other time. Thanks.

Hi, Ponch.

Hey, buddy, how come
you're not at the movies?

I'd rather read a book.

Good for you.

Besides, I've seen
the picture five times already.

Get out of here!

Hey, uh, let me
give you a hand first.

No. Just get out of here,
will you?

Okay.
I'll get the nurse.

No! I don't need her help.

Don't need anyone's help.

Show me. Get back in bed,
and I'll leave.

I can't.

Me or the nurse?

You, I guess.

There.

So you did your
good deed for the day.

Now close the door
behind you.

Heard you gave up.
Won't try to get better.

So what?

Hey, what I saw just now didn't
look like a quitter to me.

Looked like
a real gutsy gal.

What did you come
here for, anyway?

To tell you we're gonna get
the guy who did this to you.

'No, you won't.
You'll never get him.'

We will, and that's
a promise, Kelly.

If I wanted something
real bad and maybe

just maybe, somebody
could help me with it

I wouldn't be so quick
to give up on them.

I'd give them
a second chance.

'It sure can't hurt to try.'

Take care, huh?

This one is mine.

Oh, hi. I hope you don't mind
that I parked it myself.

I really don't like
other people driving it.

I feel the same way
about my van.

Do you work here
all the time?

Nope. Just helping
a buddy out for today.

Oh, yeah.
I just moved into the Marina.

I hear it's
a swinging place.

That's what
they tell me.

Oh.

Thank you.
It's so loose.

I have to remember
to get this thing fixed.

Yeah.
You don't wanna lose it.

A ring like that must cost
plenty of loot.

You know good jewelry
when you see it.

It's a hobby of mine.

You must have
a generous husband.

'A generous ex-husband.'

I live alone now.

Time to spend a boring hour
with a very dull girlfriend.

Sorry 'bout that.

Thank you for helping me.

Anytime.

I'll remember that.

You said we were gonna
cool it for a while.

This is too sweet
a deal to pass up.

That chick is loaded.

Chuck, I'm scared.
I'm really scared.

Now, we got enough to last
for a while. Let's back off.

I've gotta feeling that this is
gonna be fat city for us.

'I mean fat city.'

You always say that.

This time for sure.

And after
we'll have enough loot

you're gonna go back
to college get that degree

that mom and dad always
wanted you to have.

You mean it?

This is the last one for sure?

If I say it, I mean it.

'Now, go on back to work.'

Okay.

And, Danny, relax.

We've got it made.

Sure.

Fat city.

Wonder how
Bonnie's doing?

We'll know soon enough.

Think this jug will be fooled

by the fake jewelry
planted in the apartment?

All we have to worry about
is that he shows up.

Mr. Dawson wants
his car back today.

Yeah, Galagos is
going bananas.

Bonnie might get mugged with
his real jewelry on her.

We did kind of bend the rules
a little, didn't we?

Yeah, you might say that.

Just hope it pays off, huh?

63-Adam,
how do you read?

Loud and clear, Mary-4.

Be alert.
He's on his way in.

10-4.

Suspect has entered
the apartment.

10-23.

Don't move on him.

Just let us know
when he comes out.

- '10-4.'
- It's going down.

I hope Nancy's home.

Well, it's her day off.
She should be.

Uh, ma'am.
No!

Hey, whatever it is,
we're innocent.

Yeah.
Young, sweet, and innocent.

'No!'

He broke a window, Mary-4.
Check the alley.

LA-15, Mary-3 and 4
in pursuit of suspect

southbound on Indio
from Marina Way.

Suspect riding
a red motorcycle.

00:42:22,017 --> 00:42:23,279
10-4, Mary-3.

He's heading for the pier.

Let's do it.

Good to see you,
old buddy.

Good to see you,
old buddy.

You were right about
one thing, pal.

This is our last time.

- Anytime you are.

Are you sure you wouldn't
like a head start?

Are you kidding?
This race is in the bag.

Make up your mind.
Are we gonna talk or race?

Alright, I'm ready.
Let's do it.

Okay, on your marks

get set..

...go!

Looks so easy when the kids
do it, doesn't it?

Did you see that?
She cut me off at the pass.

You just won't learn,
will you?

You watch.
I'll get her next time.

Where have I heard
that before?

Hey, you wanna know a secret?

'You're looking good.'

Thanks.
I'm getting there.

I'm going home tomorrow.

Hey, no kidding,
that's great.

You know, you're gonna make a
lot of people very proud of you.

The best part is
Dr. Bern says

I'll be able to throw away my
crutches in a couple of weeks.

Alright, that's great.
Fantastic.

And you know something?

I believe him.