CHiPs (1977–1983): Season 2, Episode 14 - Repo Man - full transcript

- Sindy, no. Wait.
- Listen, ignore that.

Grossie may be watching.
They printed the article he wrote.

It's a good article.
Have you read it, Ponch?

Yeah, but don't tell Grossman.

We're all pretending we haven't.
You know, just putting him on.

I gotta go. I'm gonna check on
my waterbed, see if it came in.

- I'll meet you on the freeway, all right?
- All right.

Hey.

Hey, you hit the driver.

Now what? These kids.

Let me out! Help!



Hey, driver! Turn
the ignition off!

I can't reach it! I can't stop!

Okay, just hold it steady.

- Take it easy, now.
- Okay.

L.A. 15, 7 Mary 3 pacing a runaway
bus eastbound Hunger from Gibson.

Okay, get it over
on the white line.

Right on the white line and
just hold it there, all right?

Okay, just hold it steady,
now. Hold it steady, all right?

Okay.

Just hang in there, partner.

Okay, Mike. You wanna
give me a hand here?

One more time, all
right? Grab his leg.

I'm a doctor. Can I help?

Hey, Ponch. Got a
heart-attack victim, 11-42.



L.A. 15, 7 Mary 4.10-97
on the runaway bus.

Code 4. Roll paramedics
and an ambulance.

10-4, 7 Mary 4.

You okay?

Yeah, I'm fine. Just broke
my wristband, that's all.

Okay.

Okay, get back. Come on, now.

Sit back. Michael's
in charge here.

We're taking care of your driver,
and I want you all to sit quiet...

until we get another one to get
you where you're going, okay?

- Say "okay."
- Okay.

Hey, Michael, you're a man
before your time, you know that?

- I prayed to God a lot.
- Attaboy.

Excuse me, officer. Who's
the one who jumped on the bus?

I did, but your
story's in there.

This kid, Michael, he did the
steering. That's your story, huh?

You broke the wristband.

Yeah, would you put on a new
one? How about this one right here?

Three dollars labor.
Come back tomorrow.

Tomorrow? Why
can't you do it now?

Oh, a rush job under
pressure? Five dollars labor.

Tomorrow's fine.

I'm telling you now, I ain't
got all day. Move the car.

- I got the letter. MAN 2:
Know what you can do with that?

- You should have thought of that before.
- Never mind that. I'm not moving one inch.

Excuse me. Excuse me.

- Who owns this station wagon?
- I do.

I'm Doyle Ware. I'm
a licensed collector.

Just get him to move the
car and I'll be on my way.

What's the story here, ma'am?

This is our home.

There was a mix-up
with the pension checks...

and we fell behind
in our payments, but...

Well, we explained
it all to the bank.

All right, let's just
take it easy, okay?

You got a court order, Mr. Ware?

You read this. That's my authorization
to act in the interests of the legal owner.

Well, you need a court order to
legally repossess a trailer, Mr. Ware.

And these people gotta get a court order
and pay fees and charges to get it back...

even if you take it illegally.
Do you think that's fair?

What are you, some higher
power of judgment or something?

Mr. Ware, you can't take
that trailer off private property.

Unhitch it.

- Move your car, please.
- Sure.

Step back there please, ma'am.

Okay, amigo. Be a hero with the
old folks, but you're in big trouble.

- This is the way I make my living.
- And this is the way we make ours.

Now, I want your
names, both of you.

And you better be clean or
it's gonna be tough maracas.

Amigo, I don't like the way you're
swinging that wrench around.

Wait a minute, Ponch.

The names are Baker
and Poncherello, Mr. Ware.

Yes, and I'm Poncherello.

- Thanks a lot for your help.
- We handled a traffic problem.

Look, can you move that
trailer back where it belongs?

Sure, our neighbors
will help us.

I'm sure we can straighten the whole
thing out with the bank. Thank you.

Okay, but you gotta know
your rights in a case like this.

Contact the Department
of Consumer Affairs.

They have any information you want
and they're listed in any phone book.

We'll try to remember
that. Thank you again.

You drive carefully.

You'll hear from me. Believe me.

Believe me.

- You know what?
- What?

I believe him.

- Great technique, Jon.
- And how about that Michael?

They say the driver's
gonna be all right.

- Hey, fantastic. Really fantastic.
- Sorry you missed the TV news.

They shot some great
film from the helicopter.

Yeah, jumping onto that
bus? Man, that was just great.

Maybe some national
publication will pick this up.

Why don't you tell
me about it, you know?

"Jon Baker's
Story." I'll write it.

You a writer, Grossie?

Novelist. But I
do lighter things.

No thanks, I subscribe.

Oh, I get courtesy copies
whenever they publish my material.

Hey, guys, I gotta go.
See you tomorrow, huh?

Hey, check the late
news. You'll see yourself.

Jon.

- Excuse me.
- Later.

If I ever see you perform another
flashy circus stunt like that again...

I'll put you down for a month.

I did what I had to do, sarge.

Now, I'd like you to do some
personal appearances for us.

- You kidding?
- People have been calling...

ever since the TV news.

It's an opportunity to enhance
the image of the patrol.

It's a duty assignment.

Now, there's a Pioneers' Day
parade coming up in Calabasas.

How's your horse?
I want you to ride.

Well, I don't have any parade
equipment, but maybe I can get some.

Good. Get on it.

You mean you're not really sore?

Yeah, I'm sore. You're
darn right I'm sore.

On the other hand...

when you're hot, you're hot.

Grossman.

- Are you finished with that magazine?
- Yeah, sure, Harlan.

- Here.
- Thanks.

Hey, you guys seen the new
issue of the Highway Patrolman?

Here. Come on, Dave. Attaboy,
Dave. Attaboy. Come on. Come on, boy.

Right on the paper. Right on
the paper. Good boy. Good boy.

Right on the paper. Right
on the paper. Good boy.

Hey, Jon.

How would you like to do
me a great big favor tonight?

My cousins are in town, Jackie and
Babe. They saw you on television...

and they'd love to meet
you. They're really great kids.

I'd like to, Sindy, but I gotta feed
and exercise my horse, all right?

But lookit, I got tickets to the
Forum. I'll even pop for dinner, okay?

That bad, huh? You know yourself
that blind dates never work out.

I see what you're
thinking. I wouldn't do that.

- What we're really talking about...
- What wouldn't you do to him?

- Are you being mean to our hero?
- Well, it's kind of a date, but not...

Yeah, well, it's one date that
your hero is not gonna be part of.

- I'll see you later.
- Wait a minute, Jon.

Sindy's our buddy and
she needs help, right?

- Wait a minute, guys.
- You too big to help a buddy these days?

Okay. You want
me to pick you up?

No, they have a car. What I'm trying
to tell you is Jackie and Babe are not...

Hey, if they're cousins of
yours, they're beautiful girls.

- Bar, they are not...
- Who cares?

Jon will show them a
real good time, right, Jon?

I'll meet you at the Pizza Paradise.
It's close to the Forum. About 7 p.m.?

- Okay, but I didn't say that...
- And you don't have to. A deal's a deal.

I'll see you at 7.

- Okay.
- Excuse me.

Hi, Jon.

These are my cousins,
Jackie and Babe Cahill.

- Officer Baker.
- How you doing?

- Officer Baker.
- Just call me Jon, all right?

Nice to meet you guys.

We saw you on that TV newscast.

And Sindy said she
knew you, and, wow, man.

Well, I didn't tell Jon
much about you guys.

I tried, but he wouldn't listen.

Hey, we play college
football. What you did was real.

How'd you psych yourself
up for a thing like that?

It is okay to talk about
it...? How do you feel?

Well, actually, I
feel pretty silly...

because I thought Sindy's
cousins were both girls.

That's what she figured.
Sorry to disappoint you.

It's no disappointment.
It's a relief.

He expected to be gallant
to a pair of ugly ducklings.

Really. Oh, well, now we can just sit
back and relax. Have a nice time, huh?

Good evening, and how are...?

It's you!

I saw you on TV!

You're right here!

You're the one who stopped
the bus. I saw it on TV.

Highway Patrol cops.
I knew it was you.

You did a wonderful thing.

He did a wonderful thing.

Be careful, there's
broken glass there.

Can we have your
autograph, please?

Please?

You did a wonderful thing.
He did a wonderful thing!

Okay, but it was my partner who jumped
on the bus. He'll be out in a minute.

Well, he's kind of
handsome, isn't he?

That is the officer, isn't it?

All I needed was a wristband.

When I brought it in, it was
running. Been running for years.

From jumping on buses,
a man can destroy a watch.

Watches are made up
of a lot of small parts.

Each little part can break.

Yeah, okay. What's broken?

I wouldn't know.
I didn't open it up.

Without permission, I
don't open no watches.

All right, you have
my permission.

Come back tomorrow.

And push those people away
from the front of the store...

so a customer can come in.

15, 7 Mary 3, this is 7 Mary 4.

I am 10-97, west of your 10-20.

11-98 or you'll
be in a 4-15 P.C.

Excuse me, folks. That's emergency.
They're calling me. Excuse me.

Excuse me.

You are 10-2, Mary 4, 10-4.

Mary 3 is 10-8. Please
10-23 your 10-20.

It's gotta be something
big. Hear all them numbers?

I'd like to speak to a Mrs.
Otis Jessup, please. It's urgent.

Mrs. Jessup?

Yes, I'm calling from the school
dispensary. Your little boy's been hurt.

Well, I'd get over
here right away.

Mrs. Jessup, hold it.

I made that phone call. There's
nothing wrong with your little boy.

I'm Doyle Ware.

Otis Jessup is hiding a car.

He's not making his payments
and the owner wants it back.

I've been authorized
to repossess it.

You... You'd make
a call like that just...?

Mrs. Jessup, just be grateful
there's nothing wrong with the kid.

I got you out here so we
could do this in private.

I know you are getting a divorce,
but you must know where he lives.

Where he works.

I wouldn't tell you anything.

This is the lowest, cruelest
thing I've ever heard of.

Oh, come on. You don't
want me to go in there...

and make a big thing
and jeopardize your job.

Just give me an address.

Hey, pull it over. Pull it over!

Hey, you. Pull over now!

L.A. 15, 7 Mary 4.

10-97, a rollover,
westbound 210 at Vermont.

Request one unit for
traffic control and 11-85.

- 10-4, 7 Mary 4.
- You had me worried.

Hey, thanks for hitting the siren,
huh? I looked back just in time.

Man, he wrecked my car.
Stole it right out of my garage.

Otis Jessup? Who's
George Jessup?

That's my brother. This is
his car. He knows I have it.

Say, are you writing me a ticket,
man, for following a car thief?

Unsafe driving, Mr. Jessup.

That hook was state-approved.
I've towed a hundred cars with it.

You lost this one.

Well, maybe it's because the
clown in the other car rammed me.

I got a court order
to pick up that car.

It took me a month to
find it, and now look at it.

I'm citing you for
reckless driving, Mr. Ware.

If you care to contest it, do it in court.
The side of the road is not the place.

First the old
folks and now this.

I'm not gonna let you
take the food off my table.

Poncherello, huh?

The F is for Frank.

Officer, we saw you on TV.

Grossman, can you and Sindy take
over here? We're being recognized again.

Learn to enjoy it, Ponch. Some people
who deserve it never know how it feels.

Credit Rating? This is
Doyle Ware, D-W Collections.

I'd like the current status of a
Frank Poncherello and a Jon Baker.

I just got an out-of-state
lien assignment on Baker...

and I got two judgments
on Poncherello.

Yeah, that sits just right.
Right size tree and everything.

- Well, about your credit application.
- Yeah, right. One-third down.

Mr. Baker, we're gonna
have to ask you for cash.

Cash, why? My credit's good.

Not according to our exchange.
They rate you a bad risk.

That's ridiculous.
I don't owe a dime.

Well, we have to
go by the rating.

Yeah, well, what
reason did they give?

They don't give reasons. I wrote
their name and address down.

And you gotta go by
there to get any information.

- I'm sure we can work something out.
- No, that's all right.

Probably shouldn't
even buy the saddle.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

- Hey, I was coming to see you.
- Good. I was coming to find you.

- Come on in.
- What's up?

Jon, if any officer has
personal problems...

that might affect his judgment or
his safety, I'm interested, you know?

Jon, if you were
in any trouble...

you'd level with me,
let me try to help?

Well, of course. You serious?

Somebody contacted
the captain...

about you skipping out
on some debts you owed.

And these came for Frank
this morning. I signed for them.

Somebody's mixing him up
either accidentally or on purpose...

with a deadbeat by the
name of Franco Panchero.

Why would he take the
license plates off the car?

That's what I'd like to know. Guess
we're gonna be busy tomorrow.

Tomorrow's our day off.

That's right.

I see what you mean.

Pick you up at the coffee
shop around the corner.

You still owe me for
the last one, Mr. Ware.

Yeah. Well, I cleared 570
on it, so 10 percent's 57 bucks.

Buy your wife a mink.

Here's one: "Coming home, I
turned into the wrong driveway...

and ran into a
tree I didn't have."

"I was on my way to the
mechanic with rear-end trouble...

when the telephone pole
smashed into my front end."

- I don't get it.
- They're just ridiculous explanations...

that people have given
for accidents, that's all.

Yeah, Grossman put them
in the form of an article.

And you know, guys, I think
the joke's gone far enough.

- I think we ought to tell Grossie we were...
- Tell Grossie what?

Hey, Grossie. We've been...
We've all read your article.

- We've been kidding you all the time.
- Oh.

Could I have some of the copies
back? I'd like to mail them to friends.

You deserve recognition,
Grossie. I know how you feel.

Someday, I'd like to be
in the limelight myself.

Listen, guys, I gotta go meet
Jon. If you see the sergeant...

tell him we got ideas
we wanna talk over.

- Okay?
- Okay.

Listen, Grossie, we really
did like your article. Honest.

I thought it was semi-funny.

- Who read it to you, Harlan?
- Funny.

It was good, Grossie.

Here he is.

Well, somebody said
you wanted to see me.

You must think you've
done something right.

We think we know what this
Doyle Ware's doing that's wrong.

Our guess is that he
repos out-of-state cars...

takes plates off a wreck,
then takes pictures of it...

and sends it to the owner to make
him think his car's been totaled out.

Ware offers to buy the
alleged wreck for salvage...

legal owner sells it for pennies.
Sends him the papers for the real car.

Which Ware now owns and sells,
quote, "legally," unquote. Not bad.

I watched him operate. I
haven't been able to arrest him.

I haven't seen
enough to make it stick.

Besides, we think he's
fencing stolen cars too.

He had something locked in his
garage, but I couldn't see what.

Okay, well, turn it over
to the DA for investigation.

Wait a minute, sarge.

The point we're making is we'd
like another shot at it. Tomorrow.

What do you have in mind?

Catching him at the wheel of
a stolen vehicle, if he has one.

Now, you think you can do that?

I gotta pick up my watch today.

- Hey, you okay?
- Uh...

I was thinking about Grossman.
We really hurt his feelings, you know.

Come on, we'll find a
way to make it up to him.

Good luck.

- Mr. Ware, may I come in?
- Oh, by all means.

I thought we might talk about our
credit ratings, my partner's and mine.

I told you once, tough maracas.

I can prove you gave false
information, bring charges against you.

Hey, I may have made a
mistake, but false information? Me?

I wouldn't do that.

Then a few phone
calls will straighten it out.

Look, I'm out there
returning merchandise...

from some deadbeat who has
skipped on an honest businessman.

You guys come along and harass me.
You cost me a bundle, you and your partner.

- My heart aches, you know?
- Well, learn to live with the lumps.

- Now get out of here.
- Would you show me the papers...

on the vehicles out there
and the one in the garage?

- I would not.
- Okay, we got the license plate numbers.

- We'll start with them.
- Start what?

Mr. Ware, an honest collector is one thing.
Your license-plate racket is larceny.

I don't know what
you're talking about.

I'm talking about a scam that would
also work on vehicles that were stolen.

Every car out
there is a legit repo.

Okay, I'll tell the district
attorney that's what you said.

- District attorney?
- Yeah, man. Tough maracas.

Hey, you're going too fast.

Oh, no. Not again.

Our fame is fading.

Yeah, well, it couldn't
happen at a better time.

If he skips this time, you can
bet your socks the car's hot.

L.A. 15, 7 Mary 3 and 4 are in
pursuit of a copper-color '78 T-Bird.

Possibly stolen. Westbound
Sutter, 84th Street.

All units, switch to Tact 2.

Looks like that TV
helicopter again.

L.A. Mary 5, advance
on Belleview going east.

7 Adam, advance on
Portney going west.

All right, let's go.

All right, put your left
hand on your head.

- Can you drive this thing, Grossie?
- Sure.

Take it and get a scoop of dirt
and dump it on that fire. All right?

And, Bar? BARICZA: Yeah?

- Can you take this guy in for us?
- Right.

Reckless driving
and failure to yield.

And if that car he's driving isn't
stolen, I'll eat it on toast with mayo.

All right, Gross, you're good.

- I came for my watch.
- You wouldn't want it.

The main spring is broken, the balance
wheel is broken, a jewel is missing.

Wait, when I brought it here, everything
was working except the wristband.

You gave permission to open
it, I opened it. I found spaghetti.

- All I want is a watch that works.
- So take a watch.

You got a stick, you got a
gun. I wouldn't put up a fight.

Look, I want a watch, huh? Now,
what do you have for $30 or $40?

Forty dollars, I could put this
one back together again like new.

I'll think about it.

Grossie, what are
you doing here?

I busted my watch driving that
skip loader. Gotta get it fixed.

- Well, you come to the right place.
- If you want a deal, just mention my name.

You're the one we saw on the
TV news, when you put out that fire.

Well, Jon, now that
they got a new hero...

what are you gonna do
with all your free time?

Maybe I'll write an article about
Grossie for the CHP magazine.