CHiPs (1977–1983): Season 2, Episode 13 - Down Time - full transcript

Come on, everybody.
Follow me. You too, partner.

- What's up?
- You'll see. Come on.

Behold. BARICZA: New car.

Nope. An old car.

Wait. That's not that
burned-out hulk...

you picked up a few months
ago for 83 bucks, is it?

- Bingo, yeah.
- No kidding.

- You mean you built it back up yourself?
- With a little help from his friends.

From the ground up.

- I'm really impressed.
- I thought you might be.

You know, I read
somewhere that a man's car...



is not so much a means of transportation,
but more of a extension of the male ego.

Uh, Sindy, please. Enough
of the female chauvinism.

Hey, policepersons.

Could we give the state
a fair shake for a change?

Hit the bricks.

Hi. I like your car.

Thanks. I don't think we've met.

Oh, Kim Balford. I
moved in a few days ago.

Oh, well, welcome to the
garden spot of the marina.

I'm Frank Poncherello, apartment 127.
In case you ever need a cup of sugar.

- I'll remember that.
- Right.

- All set?
- Piece of cake.

Would you believe it? That little baby
can go from zero to 60 in 8.6 seconds.

Would you believe
in 6.3 seconds...



I'm gonna fall asleep unless
you change the subject?

You got it. What do
you wanna talk about?

I don't know. How about
the Middle East crisis?

Okay, 2-to-1 my car can go from Tel Aviv to
Suez Canal in less than an hour and a half.

Hey, that '77 Corvette's
carrying old plates.

Yellow and black. They stopped
handing those out eight years ago.

L.A. 15, 7 Mary 4. Road
1029, Sam Adam Ocean 476.

DISPATCHER: 15, 7 Mary 4.

10-36 on Sam Adam
Ocean 476. Your 10-20?

7 Mary 3, 10-4. We're southbound
Harbor at Santa Barbara.

10-4, 7 Mary 3.

Ponch, you all right?

Oh, man. What's the old expression?
"Another day, another dollar"?

- You all right?
- Yeah, I think so.

- How about you guys? You all right?
- Yeah.

Those crazy kids, they
could have killed us.

Everything's cool. Would
you please clear the sidewalk?

Yeah, sure. And
thanks, both of you guys.

L.A. 15, 7 Mary 3 and 4. Code 4
on the pursuit. We lost a vehicle.

Now, wait a minute. I thought
you said you were all right.

I am. I'm fine. I just
banged in my finger a little.

Come on, we're going
over to County Receiving.

And I don't want any back talk.

Hey, sarge. I wanted to
report a missing officer's lounge.

Cute, Baricza. If you wanna
laugh, call me Tuesday, huh?

Hey, look who's here.

I thought a fallen hero was supposed
to be carried home on his shield.

- Very funny.
- Let me guess.

You'll never play
the piano again.

Poncherello, you wanna
step into my office, please?

- What's going on around here?
- Didn't you read the bulletin board?

They're putting in a
women's locker room. Orders.

Isn't that exciting? Another
blow for women's lib.

- Poncherello.
- Yeah.

Oh, boy. As if I don't
have enough problems.

Okay, now, Poncherello,
what's the story?

Um, to quote the doc, "A severe
hyperextension of the fourth phalangal."

You have my sympathy.
Just what's the bottom line?

Downtime, sarge. Light
desk duty for at least a week.

What? Are you kidding?

I have half my regular staff
stacked up out there in the halls.

Yeah? How about that?

Looks like I'll just have to climb on the old
bike and make the best of it. Right, sarge?

Wait a minute. I
have a better idea.

If my memory
serves me correctly.

If I can just get to it.

Here we go.

Just like I thought. We have a
chance to make both of us happy now.

- I don't follow.
- You got five days' vacation time coming.

Look, if you don't use
it, you're gonna lose it.

- Vacation now?
- Yeah, why not?

- You'll just be in the way around here.
- Look, if you don't want it, I'll take it.

No, no, no. As long
as I got them coming.

I guess I'll go to the locker room,
change clothes, and plan out my trip.

I'm just not used to having the sarge
wrapped around my little finger, you know?

Sergeant Getraer. Yeah.

This is really
great for digestion.

Yeah, perfect time to go on
a diet. If I wasn't so hungry.

Well, if it isn't Mr. Lucky.

Guess where I've been.
How about that, huh?

One quick trip to the Auto Club
and I got my whole vacation laid out.

- Oh, great. I don't think I can stand it.
- San Francisco?

Can you think of a better way to
break in that little bronze beauty of mine?

And on the way, of course...

I'll hit Big Sur,
Carmel, Monterey.

Do you wanna get married
and take me away from all this?

- Sure thing. You got a dowry?
- Sorry.

- Me too.
- Anybody got change for a buck?

Oh, no. My wallet's gone.

- Hey, anybody see the duty roster?
- You check your locker?

- Well, maybe you left it at home.
- When was the last time you saw it?

Maybe I ought to just
put in for early retirement.

Thanks for the lift home, partner.
- Hey, no sweat.

Hope you don't mind watching
my motor while I'm gone.

No, but I would like to check
out your patio for my wallet.

Maybe I left it up there.

I'm sorry, old buddy. I know
what you must be going through.

Oh, well. It was worth a try.

Oh, that's Kim. Kim Balford.
A new addition around here.

Boy-watching with binoculars?

Hey, come on, Jon. Shape
up. This is a whole new age.

- They got their rights too.
- Right.

By the way. Can
I use your phone?

I gotta stop three blank checks
I was carrying, just in case.

Sure, man. Be my guest.
I got some packing to do.

Right. You're gonna
split in the morning.

Yeah. By noon
tomorrow, my bum and I...

will be somewhere north of San
Luis Obispo, floating on cloud nine.

Hey, Ponch, what happened?

Don't tell me you're
into rebuilding taxicabs.

Easy, now.

That's it. Don't
scrape the door.

Hey, sarge, you're
not gonna believe this.

It'll have to wait,
Frank, I'm busy now.

- My car's been stolen.
- Okay, Bruno, put it over there.

Yeah. Right up against the wall.

Hey, Jon. Guess what.

I didn't lose my wallet. Lost my
entire identity as a human being.

Lost my driver's license,
Master Charge card...

social-security card,
department charge plate...

and oil-company credit card.

Jon, my car was
stolen. Ripped off!

Did you file a report?

Of course. I had a black-and-white
out there in five minutes.

Oh, no.

I even lost my
medical-plan card.

I don't believe this.

That's right, Max Kinneman.
He's my insurance agent.

Well, when he gets back, please have
him call Officer Poncherello at the CHP.

Thank you.

Hey, Ponch, I'm sorry. Look, I was
wrapped up in my own selfish little world.

About your car. I mean,
it just didn't sink in.

- Some timing, huh?
- Yeah, it's the pits.

Hey, you guys.

I'm not running a
social club here.

Man's all heart.

Oh, by the way, Poncherello.

I expedited your stolen-car
report in the Teletype.

And I'll make it a special
item at the next briefing.

Hey, thanks, sarge.
I really appreciate it.

Now, will you go home and relax?

Those of us who aren't on
vacation, we'll take it from here.

That'll be the day. Oh, Sindy?

Thought you were on
your way to San Francisco.

Me too, until my
car got ripped off.

- Oh, no.
- Oh, yeah.

And I'm in need of
some wheels fast.

Can I borrow yours?

Well, I don't know.
Can you ride a bike?

Oh, sorry. Real rotten timing.

Sure. Keep it as long as you
like. I can always bum a ride.

- Thank you.
- Yeah. Bye-bye.

Hey, where are you going?

Where else? Auto Theft.

Jon, so help me...

I'm gonna get that car
back if it's the last thing I do.

I'll see you later.

Here's the breakdown
on those truck parts...

our old friend Fast Freddie's supposed
to be bringing down to Orange County.

I must be in the wrong place.
I was told there was some...

hard-working officers here.

Ponch, you son of a gun.

How's my favorite tar jockey?

On vacation.

By popular demand.

Ouch. How did that happen?

I was practicing slides, and I
forgot to get off my motorcycle.

Well, I'm sorry about that.

Can I buy you a cup of coffee?

Sure.

So tell me...

if you're on vacation, what
are you doing down here?

I came to help.

Help? Help who?

Help you find my car.

How did that happen?

Last night or this
morning at the marina.

The marina, huh?
That's interesting.

Bad news?

Well, the marina's the worst.

Right now, we're losing...

six to eight high-performance
jobs a day down there.

You figure it's organized?

Oh, no question.

Except for joy riders, there's a
major ring working the marina.

Only trouble is we
keep coming up empty.

Well, that's all gonna change
now that I'm at your service.

Says who?

Bill, please. I got my life's
blood poured into that car.

I read you. So just back off
and give me a little room...

- and I'll see what I can come up with.
- Come on, Bill, what's with the fast shuffle?

I'm offering you my
services free of charge.

- Just point me in the right direction.
- You're on.

Straight ahead.

Oh, come on, Bill. You
can't do this to an old buddy.

Ponch, if you wanna help,
check out your neighbors.

Maybe they saw something.
You never can tell.

Okay? Then we can talk.

Okay. See you.

- Who is it?
- Your neighbor. Frank Poncherello.

The door's open.

Hey, you shouldn't
leave the door unlocked.

We don't worry about
things like that in Minnesota.

- Hey, hello down there.
- Hi.

Listen, if I'm interrupting
you, I can come back later.

Oh, don't be silly.

I was just relaxing.

Uh, Kim, listen,
apparently, last night...

someone stole my car.

And I was hoping maybe someone
around here might have seen something.

Like a strange car or a
person who didn't belong? Hm?

Oh, that's a shame, Frank.

Um, I was studying a
script all last night, I'm sorry.

- You an actress?
- Well, I'm working on it.

Well, you must
be doing all right.

Sheer luck.

I hit town when blond
hair and blue eyes...

and long legs were in demand.

It's too bad about your car.

Can I get you
something to drink?

- What do you got?
- Buttermilk and organic apple juice.

Buttermilk's really good
for your complexion.

No, thanks. You go
ahead. I'll take my chances.

Your folks?

Yeah. In better days.

Daddy's been in a V.A.
hospital for over a year.

I bet they're really
proud of you though.

Making it in Hollywood, that's
gotta be some accomplishment.

What, for a small-town girl?

Well, at least Daddy's not
angry at Mama anymore...

for making me tap-dance
at every family party.

You too? You mean, one, two...

- three, four. Yeah, let's go.
- Wait a minute.

So anyhow, after them paying
my bills for so many years...

I can pay a few of theirs now.

That's very nice.

So, what do you do for
a living? Show business?

No. I'm a highway patrolman.

Oh, that's interesting.

Oh.

I have to make an 8:00 reading
for a new play at the Music Center.

It's really groovy. It's this rock groupie
who gets strangled in the second act.

Listen, I don't
mean to be impolite.

I'd love to hear more
about your work.

And you.

Sounds like a barrel of fun.

Maybe later at the end
of the week some time?

- You got yourself a deal.
- Okay.

Come on.

- Bye-bye. Take care, huh?
- Bye.

I must have talked to 15 neighbors, not to
mention the manager and the handyman.

- Uh-huh.
- Nothing. Nobody saw a thing.

I told you. If we're talking an
organized ring like I think we are...

- they're real pros.
- So, what do we do now?

That's easy.

I follow what few leads I've got and
you go home and take two aspirin.

One for you and one for me.

Hey, wait a minute.
You got company.

They just nailed a '78
Jag at the same location.

I was on the phone
canceling credit cards...

I'm surprised Getraer
didn't put me on probation.

Well, at least you had
something to do today.

Me, I'm going nuts trying
to make myself useful.

Thought you weren't hungry, man.

Oh.

Well, I forgot I
didn't eat lunch.

I was down at Motor Vehicles
getting a temporary license.

- Kim.
- Oh, Ponch, hi.

Grab a seat. Join us
for a cup of buttermilk.

- Why don't you grab...?
- No, really, we just had lunch, thanks.

So you keep us company.

Hi, I'm Ponch. And this
handsome fella is Jon.

Oh, this is Melodie Fischer.

Listen, we were just on the
way home to rehearse a scene.

- Weren't we, Melodie?
- Yeah, it's my big break.

- Oh.
- Really, Ponch. Some other time?

We gotta run. Nice
meeting you, Jon.

- Bye.
- Okay, bye.

- The career, always the career.
- Well, let's face it. It's just not our day.

What was that all about?

You know the talkative one?

Happens to be a cop
looking for a stolen car.

- Cop?
- His stolen car.

- A cop? What did you pick on a cop for?
- Man, I didn't know he was a cop.

Hey, that's funny.

I could have sworn
Kim had a 280Z.

Oh, man, beautiful.
Just beautiful.

Well, listen, don't look at me.
You wanted to stop for a hamburger.

It looks like we're gonna have to use
Plan B. Come on, get your clothes off.

Get them off, let's go, come on.

- Okay, I'm ready, let's go.
- Okay, okay.

Tell me I didn't see
what I thought I just saw.

Anybody aboard?

Well, well, well.

Oh, I think we've had it.

Oh, I didn't know we were
that far from the beach.

I hope this isn't
any inconvenience.

- Oh, not at all. Welcome aboard.
- Oh, thanks.

The answer is no.

What's the question?

Whatever it is that you're
gonna bug me about this morning.

Now, why would I bug you?

And if I do, why would it be
about anything but my car?

And if it is about my
car, what's new, man?

Ponch, I gotta level with you. It's
time to call in your insurance man.

If we don't come up with a vehicle in four
days, you can figure it's a total wash.

Good, that gives us
another 24 hours, doesn't it?

Why me?

Where did you get this thing?

Oh, we just recovered
it from 16 feet of water.

- Oh, and...?
- And zero.

We lifted a set of
prints from the mirror.

- But they just don't check out.
- Meaning a rank amateur.

Yeah, except that rank amateurs don't use
a slide hammer to yank the ignition lock.

These cats just don't have any
priors. The how and why, I don't know.

- No. No way.
- You got something?

I doubt it. But this neighbor of mine,
an actress, she normally drives a 280Z.

But yesterday I saw her and
a friend climbing into a Lincoln.

That's interesting.

Yeah, your buddy Grossman
tried to make a routine stop.

And he indicated that he thought that
the two occupants were young women.

- You're kidding.
- No.

You think you can
get a set of prints?

You know, now that you've made
yourself a full-fledged investigator?

Come on, Bill. It's
probably just a coincidence.

She comes on like
a pretty nice lady.

Well, you know, whatever.

But why don't you jot down her
name and address just in case.

What do you mean
you can't accept it?

- It's my own personal check.
- But your account has been flagged.

We're stopping all your checks on
your old account, at your own request.

Thank you. I would love to write
a check on my new account...

but it'll be two weeks before
I get my new checkbook.

Maybe if I get the manager,
Mr. Baker, he might be able to help you.

Yeah.

- Jon, I'm glad I found you. I need help.
- If you want to borrow money, forget it.

I'm a man without
a bank. They won't...

Listen to this. You know my
friend Kim? Busy little actress?

The Screen Actors
Guild never heard of her.

When I checked with the
Music Center, they laughed.

She's probably
blowing smoke. Ma'am?

Maybe so. Especially when I start to
think of those binoculars she was using.

Oh, yeah, the better
to see the boys with.

Or spot the cars with.

Jon, they were 50 power. That's more
than Keith Jackson needs in the Superdome.

What's that have to do
with me? I want to help but...

You and I are gonna find out for
sure if she's legit, first thing tomorrow.

Ponch, tomorrow's my day
off. How about some other day?

Please, Jon, huh?

I need a little
objective support.

I'm sorry, Mr. Baker, but Mr. Klein
is out to lunch. Can you wait?

I can't win.

Come on.

Once we get her fingerprints on
the glass, we can split anytime.

Ponch, do you realize how much
I could accomplish on my day off?

Yeah, but you gotta admit...

this is different, huh?
Intrigue, suspense.

Cherchez la femme, huh?

- Who is it?
- Ponch and Jon, to brighten your day.

Just a second, I'm not dressed.

Hey, look at it this way:
I'm doing you a favor.

Helping you take your
mind off losing your wallet.

It's not that I'm ungrateful.

Okay, Bright Eyes, rise
and shine. Time to celebrate.

Today's Ponch's birthday.

And you have been selected
by me to join in the festivities.

Listen, guys. Not right now.

I'm really not in the mood.

Hey, Kim, what's the matter?

I just got a phone
call from home.

My dad passed away last night.

Oh, man.

I'm sorry.

Look, if there's
anything we can do...

No, I'll be okay, really.

You caught me at
a really bad time.

You brought him
a lot of happiness.

He had to be very proud of you.

I mean, with the
career and everything.

My career? It's a big fat lie.

A year and a half ago, I
handed Johnny Carson...

a bottle of shampoo.
That's my career.

Yeah, but look at all this.
- All of this?

Oh, I've done it all.

Slinging drinks in the singles
bar. Cosmetics door to door.

A little modeling
here and there.

You name it, I've done it.

Oh, man, I really let Dad down.

Look, why don't you have a glass
of 100-percent-pure apple juice?

Ponch tells me it's your
favorite, right? There you go.

- Uh, we'd better go.
- I'm sorry. I don't mean to be like this.

Look, Kim, you
got every right to.

And, listen, about you not
cutting it as an actress...

get off it, okay? With what you got
on the ball, something will come along.

Yeah, look. When it comes right
down to it, it's just a job, right?

No, your things,
you forgot them.

Oh, uh, enjoy the juice.
Pick it up tomorrow, okay?

Bye.

Look, we really pulled that
one off, didn't we, Sherlock?

We got a beautiful set of
prints right in there on the glass.

I know, but I just couldn't
feel right about it, Jon.

Feeling sorry for Kim is one thing,
but Bill Ross needed those fingerprints.

So that's Ross' problem.

Okay.

- My, my. What a performance.
- You were great.

Call Oscar and tell him to get
the cars ready to move to Arizona.

- I don't get it.
- The phone call she got wasn't from home.

It was from a friend
from the Music Center.

Those cops have been
checking up on her.

Yeah, they might have connected me
with that Lincoln we drove off the pier.

They might know a whole lot
more. Call Oscar. We're pulling out.

Okay.

My Firebird is as good as
gone. Ask anybody around here.

Ponch, ask at my office.

There's a 30-day waiting
period before we can pay off.

Officer Baricza.

Yeah, has anybody seen
the 1975-76 efficiency reports?

What am I supposed to do for wheels?
- I don't know.

You see, you didn't have
extended coverage. If you had...

I could give you a full use of a
loaner till your car's recovered.

I told you, cancel the car.
It's either in 1000 pieces...

or it's on its way
over the state line.

We'll know that in
26 days, won't we?

Finally I can go home now and
relax and make up for lost time.

What did you do? Pick
up new credit cards?

Yeah, great, huh?

I can go out and start spending next
month's salary like the rest of the world.

One moment, please. Hey, Ponch.
Telephone. Ross, over at Auto Theft.

Thanks, Bar. - Yeah.

Let me guess. You spotted
my car going east on Route 10.

But there's not a thing
you can do about it.

We ran a surveillance on your
friend, Kim Balford, and we hit pay dirt.

- Bill, you sure?
- Yeah, we connected her with...

- the base for a big operation.
- It's Kim. Ross thinks he has her nailed.

The sheriff is gonna cooperate
with a stakeout at 3 p.m.

There's something
that you could do.

- Name it, Bill.
- Drive by there.

If you see your car on the
premises, give me a call. It'll help.

- You got it.
- Don't blow the stakeout, Ponch.

- And you'll need an unmarked vehicle.
- Just a minute.

There's something we
can do for Ross, okay?

- We? What do you need me for?
- I don't. I need your pickup.

Oh, no way, you're on your
own. I'm gonna go home and relax.

You got it, Bill. I got Jon's
pickup for as long as I need.

Let's go.

Arizona, here we come. - Whoo!

Kim, did you telephone?

Yeah. And I told them they
better have our money ready.

- All right, let's go.
- Here we go, come on.

That carrier, Jon. My
car's on that carrier.

Only 2:30. Ross
missed his timing.

Something must have tipped
them off. Wanna stop and call Ross?

No, let's just keep them in
sight and hope for a break.

He's still there. Who'd
be tailing us in a pickup?

I don't know. All I know is he
made a very fast U-turn back there.

Step on it. Go a
little faster, Kim.

I am going faster. This isn't
exactly a sprint car, you know.

A cop.

Hey, who said you can't find
a cop when you need one?

It was a tail. He
stopped that cop.

What will we do?
We can't outrun them.

Outsmart them.
Whatever it costs.

Tell Ross they're making a run.

Get whatever assistance you
can get. We'll back you up, all right?

L.A. 15, 7 Mary 5. Advise
Auto Theft and all units...

suspects fleeing
Pershing Road South.

- I don't see any carrier, Jon.
- Can't be going that fast.

Must have made us and
turned off. Catch Grossie.

- Backtrack, Grossie. They turned off.
- You got it.

Kim, look.

- Three women.
- It's Kim.

Let it go.

Kim, stop!

Hold it right there.

10-97, Bryan Lane,
with two in custody.

And notify Auto Theft that
Baker and Poncherello...

are following a third
suspect in a brown Firebird.

- I hope we get help soon.
- We could catch her if we had a police unit.

Look at that baby corner.
Isn't that something, huh?

I don't understand this,
Kim. Why, huh? How come?

I told you. I'm not
a very good actress.

There's no way I was
going back to Minnesota.

And all that guff about your father
passing away. That was baloney, right?

- Was it?
- Yeah.

I don't get it, man, with
what you've got going.

Intelligence, personality.

There were so many other
ways you could have gone.

It seemed so easy.

And you can't beat
the margin of profit.

Oh, man, that's really
sad. You know that, lady?

Yeah.

Oh, it's too bad I couldn't
find a nice, young man...

to take care of me in the style
that I was becoming accustomed to.

Oh...

I'm really sorry about your car.

Yeah, me too.

Come on, Ponch. Why don't you help
me move my truck out of the way, huh?

Yeah.

Reach back there and give me
my jacket, would you, please?

Sure.

- Here you go, man.
- Thank you.

Oh, no, don't tell me.

- What's the matter?
- My wallet. It's been here all the time.

Hey, the night that you helped
me move my patio furniture...

you were wearing that jacket.

Congratulations, man.

Quite a relief, huh?

Are you kidding? I mean, after all I
went through changing things around?

This is awful.