Burn Notice (2007–2013): Season 1, Episode 2 - Identity - full transcript

My name is Michael Westen.

I used to be a spy until--

- [ Man ] We got a burn notice
on you. You're blacklisted.
- [ Whistles ]

[ Michael Narrating ]
When you're burned,
you've got nothing--

no cash, no credit,
no job history.

- You're stuck in whatever city
they decide to dump you in.
- Where am I?

Miami.

You do whatever work
comes your way.

- You rely on anyone
who's still talking to you--
- [ Laughs ]

- a trigger-happy
ex-girlfriend--
- Should we shoot them?

a friend who's informing
on you to the feds--



You know spies.
Bunch of bitchy little girls.

- and family too--
- Hey, is that your mom again?

- if you're desperate.
- Someone needs
your help, Michael.

Bottom line:
Until you figure out
who burned you,

you're not going anywhere.

[ Michael Narrating ]
A surveillance photo
can tell you...

a lot about the photographer.
[ Camera Shutter Clicks ]

[ Camera Shutter Clicks ]

- [ Camera Shutter Clicks ]
- Surveillance takes planning.

You have to scout the area.
You need a place to sit...

and wait for the target
for an hour-- or 10.

You need to take a leak
now and then.

- Lots of chances to get seen.
- [ Camera Shutter Clicks ]

[ Camera Shutter Clicking ]



Morning.
[ Camera Shutter Clicks ]

Michael, good to see you.

[ Michael Narrating ]
You can't choose
your intelligence sources.

Might be a heroin smuggler,
a dictator or your mom.

I was beginning to wonder if you
were gonna stand in the middle
of the road all day...

or come in for a visit.
I need to ask you something.

Anyone unknown to you
been around the house
the last few months?

Any unfamiliar faces
on the street?

Maybe a, uh,
repair truck that just
seems to sit there?

I don't know.

I really don't notice
what my neighbors do.
I'm not interested in them.

You'd notice if the neighbor
hasn't vacuumed his car.

If the postman isn't
wearing his wedding ring,
just tell me.

As a matter of fact,
a few months ago there were
two men here taking pictures.

- They were very nice.
- You met them?

Mm-hmm.
They came in for coffee.

I made them deviled egg
sandwiches.

They were in some sort of,
um--

I don't know.
Some government something.

Wait, wait, wait.
Government something?
Mmm.

- Who exactly do they work for?
- How should I know?

All these years,
I don't know who
in the hell you work for.

Travel all over the world
saying, "Oh, can't talk
about it."

Well, I don't have a job
anymore, so there's nothing
you have to worry about.

What did they talk
to you about?
What did they ask?

I don't know.
But I did show
one of them the garden.

Wait. You left one alone
in here? How long?

Hmm. I don't remember.

You know, the doctor
says what's wrong with me
could be affecting my memory.

[ Chuckles ] Your memory's fine.
If there's anyone who could use
a little memory loss, it's you.

[ Michael Narrating ]
My mother's understanding
of my career...

changes with
what she wants from me.

One day she can name
everyone on the National
Security Council.

The next day she thinks
I work for the post office.

My friend Dawn
in my bridge group--
She's had memory problems.

Which reminds me--
I want to talk to you
about a friend of mine.

In a sec.

- Michael, what are you doing?
- [ Michael Narrating ]
Not all bugs are the same.

If it's got a battery,
it's disposable, short-term.

If it's wired
into the house power,
it's a longer-term thing.

If it has a transmitter,
you can figure out
how close the listener is.

Mom, are there any empty houses
in the neighborhood...

within, say, mmm, 350 meters?

Across the street,
two doors down.

[ Beeping ]

[ Michael Narrating ]
Once your surveillance
knows you're onto them,

the clock starts ticking.

They know you're coming,
so the question for them...

is whether they can destroy
their equipment and get
out of there in time.

No! No, no, no!

Oh!

[ Engine Starts ]
[ Michael Narrating ]
The question for you...

is whether you can find them
before every bit of useful
information...

is turned into a pile
of burning slag.

[ Coughing ]

What happened to you?
You smell like burnt plastic.

Yeah, uh, I think there's
a fire down the road.

Um-- And the smoke,
it drifted.

[ Coughing ]

[ Sirens Wailing ]

Mom, we need to talk about
the men who came to the house.

I need to know
what they asked you,
what you told them.

- It's important for my job.
- I thought you didn't have
a job.

Yeah. You know, it's--
it's hard to explain.

Yeah, well,
I don't remember.

[ Sirens Continue Wailing ]

This thing about my friend
has me very upset.

It's hard to think about
anything else.

Fine, Mother. Let's talk
about your friend.

Well, it's my neighbor Laura.
All right?

These people came over
to her house with some kind
of a scam.

They got all of her
bank account numbers.

They took everything
that she has.

And they beat her up, Michael.
She's terrified.

Well, what am I
supposed to do?

Well, you'll think
of something.

She lives
right across the street.
You could go there now.

I talk to your friend,

and then we talk about the men
who came to the house.

Thank you so much
for coming.

When Madeline said you could
help me, I was so relieved.

Well, what happened exactly?

I got a letter...
about a month ago.

Uh, said I'd won a prize.

One of those
magazine things.

I called,
and they congratulated me.

Said they had to send
some people over...

to fill out some tax forms.

And they came over,
and--

There were two men
and a woman.

They were in such a hurry
to get my information.

Credit cards,
bank accounts.

I got nervous
and I asked them to leave.

I tried to call the police,
and they hit me.

Broke my arm.

I checked my bank account.
It's all gone.

It's all I had.

Uh, do you--
Do you have anything
that, uh--

Do you have
a description of them?

Oh, I'm not very good
at that sort of thing.

The main one--
He was good-looking.
Blond.

The other two were...
just regular.

- With brown hair.
- Regular-looking
with brown hair?

I have the prize letter.

My son wants to put me
in a home now.

Thinks I can't be trusted.

Uh, I'll see what I can do.
I'm gonna need
to borrow this, okay?

[ Sobs ]

I should go.

I'm gonna go.

[ Laughing ]
So, you're helping
old ladies now.

Good for you, Mike.
Hey, I saw a kitten up a tree
on my way over here.

They beat her up.
Took her life savings.
You in or not?

Well, you put it that way,
what can I say?
What's the plan?

Well, the address and phone
number are fake, but the
printing-- the foil embossing--

There can't be more
than one place in Miami
that does that kind of work.

Sounds good.
Uh--
[ Clears Throat ]

Listen.
The money on this one
will be a little thin.

Well, it's a public service.
Hey, how about a trade?

I, uh, had a little disagreement
with the lady friend I was
staying with,

and, uh, I could
use a place to crash.

Three days.
I was thinking
more like a week.

Mike, look.
I can sweeten the pot
on this.

If I'm staying with you,
the feds will be
off your back.

I'll just tell them
that I'm babysitting you.

Five days. You bring
a sleeping bag, and you're
out by the weekend?

Done.

Hello, Michael.

Fi, you're... here.

[ American Accent ]
I came by for a visit.
The door was locked.

So I broke in.

New accent.
New... style.

Well, I'm in Miami now.

[ Irish Accent ] I can't very
well be talking like a friggin'
leprechaun, now, can I?

[ American Accent ]
This is the new me, Michael.

- For now.
- So you're staying
in town then.

That's great.
Listen, Fi.

- Now is not a really good
time for you to--
- Jesus, Mike.

You didn't tell me
she was gonna be here.

You cost me a lot of money,
you son of a bitch!

- I've been waiting to talk
to you for a long time!
- I cost you? Okay.

For starters, what you're
talking about never officially
happened, all right?

But unofficially,
even if it had, you deserved
a hell of a lot worse...

- than what you got, lady.
- Sam.

[ Michael Narrating ]
There's a reason spies
don't have a lot of parties.

Everybody's got a history
with everyone else.

That was a legitimate purchase!
The U.S. government
had no business--

Yeah? Legitimate?
A Libyan arms dealer?
How do you figure that?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Fi, I'm thrilled
that you've come by.

- But Sam and I need to
talk about a job. So you--
- Job?

Hmm.

Sounds like fun.

I'm in.

Yeah.
[ Laughs ]

I do work like that, yeah.
I don't remember this piece,
but we do a lot of volume.

You need more like this,
with the foil embossing?

Yeah. I mean, I don't know
a lot about printing,

but something like that.

You got
some big machines.

Oh, just upgraded.
State of the art.

Want me
to show you around?
Mm-hmm.

[ Michael Narrating ]
Often, the best way
to get intel...

is to provoke action,
set people in motion.

Pros know better,
but they usually have to work
with a few amateurs.

And they panic.

So you beat the bushes a little
and see what flies out.

Once your frightened amateur
leads you to the pros,

the work begins.

Con artists and spies
are both professional liars.

Cons do it for the money,
and spies do it for the flag,
but it's mostly the same gig.

- They run operations. They
follow security procedures.
- [ Camera Shutter Clicking ]

They recruit support staff
and issue orders.

[ No Audible Dialogue ]

[ Camera Shutter Clicking ]
[ Sam ] Hey, so this guy
Quentin-- your con artist?

Hangs out at a club
down in South Beach
called Onyx.

Nice.
Want me to go down there
and do some surveillance?

No, I think we're fine.
I got a cover I.D.
for you, Mikey.

How do you like
the name Peter Jordan?
Would you put some pants on?

What? I work better
when I can breathe
down there.

- Do you want to hear
about this guy or no?
- Yeah.

- Tell me
about Peter Jordan.
- He was cell mates...

with an ex-partner
of Quentin's.

He, uh, jumped parole
about a month ago.
They caught him.

He's in a Phoenix holding cell,
but they haven't put him back
through the system yet.

Kinda looks like you too--
you know, more or less.

Not bad for a man
in his underwear.

Hey, you think that's good?
You should see me without 'em.
[ Chuckles ]

** [ Woman Singing In Spanish ]

[ Michael Narrating ]
When you go after a spy,
you send another spy.

The same goes for con artists.
To catch one, you've got to
beat him at his own game--

be a better liar
than he is.

** [ Continues ]
[ No Audible Dialogue ]

Excuse me.
Can I help you?

Quentin King, right?
Yeah.

We have a mutual friend
up in New York. Paco?

Few weeks ago,
I'm at a dog track in Newark
freezin' my nuts off,

and I remember that Paco said
if I ever got down to Miami,
I should look you up.

So I'm thinkin', hell,
anywhere's nicer than Newark.
You know what I'm sayin'?

So I got my ass down to Miami.
Pete Jordan. Hey.

Pete, you got
the wrong guy.

No, no.
I don't think so.

See, I was roommates
with your buddy Paco
for a year.

He told me about that job
you pulled off up in Tampa.

Real nice.
I have a business opportunity
I want to discuss with you.

[ Whispers, Indistinct ]
[ Michael Narrating ] No matter
how good your cover identity is,

you've got to sell it,
and that's not always easy.

Like I said,
you got the wrong guy.
I don't know you.

I don't know this Paco.
I don't have business.

I went through a lot
of trouble to find you.
I got a warrant on my ass.

Will you hear me out?

I'm in water filter
sales, man.

You want a water filter,
I can help you out.

I don't want to argue with you,
but what's a water filter
salesman doing...

with a .45
inside a shoulder holster?

That's my business.
But you know what is
your business?

There's a couple of cops that
are sitting over there by the
bar talking to the manager.

They've been there for a while.
Probably liquor license.
How about I bring them...

over here, and we talk
about the terms
of your parole?

[ Michael Narrating ]
Sometimes you have to decide
just how committed you are...

to pretending you are
who you say you are.
[ Chuckles ]

Anyone ever tell you
you're bad at making friends?

Paco said you had some issues,
but I like to give people
a chance. That's just how I am.

This is what happens.
You're gonna get us
outta here,

because I like Miami
and I'm not going back
to jail.

So if those cops
even look at me,

we'll see how many slugs
I can put through your liver
before they take me down.

I got 20 bucks on four.
You want to take the over
or the under?

All right,
let's go out back.

Smile. Stand up.

Put your arm around me
and act like the friends
I wanted us to be.

[ Laughs ]

Here we are.
You wanna take that thing
out of my ribs now?

Oh, and then you send the cops
right after me? Uh-huh.

[ Michael Narrating ]
I don't like running from cops,
but it has its advantages.

It builds your credibility
with a criminal when you flee
a crime scene.

- [ Gunshot ]
- I'll be in touch.

[ Michael Narrating ]
Eavesdropping and fieldwork
go hand in hand.

You want to know
what your target is saying,

what he's typing
into his computer.

But technology
can't work miracles.
Bugs don't plant themselves.

Fact is, even the fanciest
equipment...

usually needs help from
a good old-fashioned crowbar.

[ Zipper Zips ]
Get onto the boat,
plant the bugs,

get out quick.
Yep. Gotcha.
Okay, what's that for?

I could think of something.
It's for the lock
if you have trouble, Sam.

Mike, give me some credit.
I mean, I can handle a lock.

Quentin had a Colt .45
with extended controls
and a beveled mag well.

He's serious.
Be careful, Sam.
Gotcha.

Fi, I want you to fix
Quentin's car so we can disable
it if anything happens.

Think you can
handle that?
I'm not gonna answer that.

I'm off to make friends.

It's me again.

Do me a favor, babe.
Take a swim.
Water's great.

Okay.

- Want a drink?
- It depends.

- Am I talking to Quentin King
or some water filter salesman?
- Hey, you know how it is.

- You could be a cop. You could
be a fed. You could be anyone.
- I'm not just anyone.

Well, you can handle yourself.
I'll give you that.

So you have something.

- You burn me--
- Let's hear your proposal.

We'll meet my team.
We'll see.

There's your gun back.

[ Michael Narrating ]
It's always useful to be able
to disable a car remotely.

A cell phone, some wire--

You can ground the circuit
on the electrical system
with a phone call.

Are you just about
done down there?

In a second.

This... is an art.

No. Wiring crap into a car
is not an art.

It's about as subtle
as hitting someone
with a brick.

Hitting someone with a brick
takes a lot of skill.

You should try it sometime.
It's all in the wrist.

Sorry. Not my style.

I know.
That's right, I forgot.

You only do
what the suits tell you.

You know,
that was a cheap shot.

[ Michael Narrating ]
A good cover identity keeps
the target feeling in control.

You talk too much,
drink too much just to let him
know he's got the edge.

I respect what you're doin'--
going after checking accounts,
consumer credit.

I mean, it's easy.
It's like picking up
coconuts on the beach.

I like coconuts as much
as the next guy.

But I'm talking about
something bigger
than coconuts.

Enough with the coconuts.
What's the scam?

Annuities.

You sell someone
an annuity,

and they dig deep--

home equity,
major assets,

the money they're saving up
for their grandkids.

You give them
a piece of paper...

and you walk away
with everything they own.

Why do you need us?
You've got leads.

What was your hit rate
on your last scam, one in 50?

You go back
to everyone you missed.
You nail one in five.

Fifty, hundred grand.

I got tax documents,
marketing stuff--

and a bottle
of Johnnie Walker Blue
when we're done.

Ah, well, you know,
we're making money.

And this forged crap--
Feds are all over that.

But a hundred grand per mark.
Dude, that's millions.

Greg, take a walk.

Okay?

Listen.
You don't want this,
I don't want this.

In fact, I don't need this.
I'll walk away.

I can walk away from this.
I want to talk about this.

Come on. Let's talk.
Let's talk about it.

[ Fiona ]
You boys and your computers.

If you've got a better way
to find encrypted passwords...

and account information,
I'm all ears, baby.

I already know that one.
That's a good one. Boo-hoo.
[ Chuckles ]

[ Continues, Indistinct ]

[ Beeping ]

[ Buzzing ]
Here you go.

Stick that up there.
Hurry up about it.

We'd have been out of here
10 minutes ago if you didn't
argue about every little thing.

[ Mouthing Words ]

[ Beeping ]

[ Buzzing ]
I've heard surveillance
through these things.

It sounds like
everyone's underwater.

Hey, if you have a way to put
a recording studio in a light
fixture, love to hear it.

It's millions of dollars.
Quentin acts like I'm a goddamn
kid and tells me to go home.

Uh-oh.

[ Chattering ]

- What the hell
are you doing here?
- What are you doing here?

[ Scoffs ]
We live here.

What? You--
You live here?

Oh, God.
You liar.

You liar.
You son of a bitch.

- I can explain, baby.
- Explain what?

That you told me you had a yacht
so you can get in my pants?
Is that about right?

Oh, I'm sorry, baby.
Oh!

I can't believe this.

This is our third date.

He said this was his boat.

- Get out.
- Where's my shoe?

- Here.
- Oh.

[ Exclaims ]

You are taking me home
right now.
Okay. Okay.

We are leaving.
We are leaving!
Fine. Okay! Geez! Ow!

We're so sorry
about this.

[ Gasping ]
Let's go.

And eventually
we get outta there.

I mean, anyway, it's all good.
It was just a little
painful in the end.

Of course, it wouldn't
have been a problem
if I didn't have someone...

second-guessing me
and slowing
the whole thing down.

It was fine, Michael.
Next time I'll check my phone.

Hey, how'd it go?
Is Quentin
your new best buddy?

Hardly. I've cracked
ex-K.G.B. officers
easier than this guy.

We're gonna have
to push these guys,
drive his little team apart.

Old school.
You know I like that.

You want the full-on
disinformation campaign?

No. Keep it small-- just enough
to nudge him in my direction.

- Can do.
Who wants another beer?
- Me.

- Fi?
- Yes?

I need a favor.

I need some information
from my mom.

She's not gonna talk
about it unless we go--
We go to dinner.

I talked to her yesterday.

You talked to her.
Of course you did.

And I accepted.
Bringing a vegetable.

I can't wait.
[ Chuckles ]

** [ Woman Singing In Spanish ]

[ Michael Narrating ] Go after
a group of people directly,
and they pull together.

They get stronger.

Taking on a tight-knit group
is about making them
turn on each other.

You plant the seeds of distrust
and watch them grow.

I'm still thinking about it.

Well, I talked
to Greg and Bonnie--
Enough about Greg and Bonnie.

They're not in charge here.
Fine.

I'm just sayin'.
We can't delay this
much longer.

Tax season is coming up.
If people buy in, they do it
just before April.

So you and Paco,

you were cell mates,
what, a year?

I could think of
worse ways to do time.

Paco, man.

He still make that pruno?

I did a couple months
with him in County, and, man,
he made the best prison wine.

[ Michael Narrating ]
Of course, sowing seeds
of distrust is harder...

when nobody trusts you.
Paco doesn't drink.

What are you trying
to pull?

Yeah. Of course.
I forgot.

[ Both Laugh ]

What, so you just guessed?
[ Michael ]
Either he drank or he didn't.

Fifty-fifty shot,
and I guessed right.

Good thing. I think he was
planning on shooting me
if I got it wrong.

Ah. Nice work, Mike.

How's the betrayal
paper trail coming?
Oh, great.

It's, uh, actually
some of my best work.

I've got plane tickets for Greg
and Bonnie and a couple of
offshore bank accounts.

I'll get it over there
tonight and plant it.
All right.

Now, are you seriously taking
Fiona to your mom's?

Not like I have a choice.

Good luck
with that, brother.
[ Beeps ]

[ Sighs ]
Fi, just do me a favor.

Just go...

easy tonight.

[ Laughs ]
Oh, it is such a pleasure
to finally meet you.

Oh-- Welcome.
Please come in.

Uh, this is
my friend Laura.

She just came by to say hi,
see how things were going.

Madeline said
she was sure you could
take care of it.

Why don't you let me
take that.

Everything's
going to be fine.

He used to be a secret agent.

[ Laura ]
Well.

I-I don't want
to intrude on your supper.

I brought a peach cobbler
for dessert.
Yum.

So, are you two
getting married?

We're thinking about it.
I'd like to be a June bride.

Mmm.

That was delicious.
Thank you.

So, um, Fiona, do you--
do you live in Miami now?

Well, we'll see.
I like it here.

Do you have a job?

I'm in between jobs--
a bit like Michael.

- I'll-- I'll get the dishes.
- Thank you.

Michael.

Thank you, Fiona.

Mom, we had an agreement.
Tell me about the men
who came to the house.

Um, they asked about you.

How often you come to Miami,
whether you have
any friends here.

And they asked
if we were close.

You and me?
What did you tell them?

I told them that you were
the perfect son.

That you always wrote me,
you called me all the time,

and that the most important
thing to you was family.

I told them that,
and they wrote it down.

- Why did you tell them that?
- I don't know, Michael.

Just seemed nicer
than the truth.

[ Cell Phone Ringing ]
Uh, excuse me.

I got a phone call.

[ Ringing Continues ]

- Hello?
- Were you in on this?
Answer me!

- Quentin, calm down.
What are you talking about?
- Answer me!

I don't know
what you're talking--
I got bank statements.

I got plane tickets. Huh?
Greg and Bonnie had some plans.

[ Michael Narrating ]
Sometimes a great plan...

comes together just
a little bit too early.

What, you thought
you could go around me?
Is that what you thought?

Why would I do that?
Yeah, you think about it.

I need your leads.
Without that I got nothin'.

Greg and Bonnie--
two stupid kids I'd have
to share my score with?

You know what I'm sayin'?
I swear to God, if I find out
you're lying to me--

I'm telling the truth.
This might not be
what it looks like.

They got a goddamn
bottle of champagne!

They were gonna rip me off
and go to the Caymans
or the Seychelles,

- for crying out loud!
- Just don't do anything
without me, okay?

This will be over tonight.

[ Michael Narrating ]
You've been in the business
way too long...

when you recognize
the sound of a .45 caliber
over a phone.

Don't do anything stupid.

[ Beeping ]
[ Line Ringing ]

Okay, Mike, I'm here.
I'm at the marina.

If Quentin leaves the boat, Sam,
our plan is in serious trouble.

Yep. Just calm down.
He's here. I can see him
walking around on the boat.

You gotta make sure
he doesn't go anywhere.

Don't worry about it.
I'll keep an eye on him.

He's planning on killing Greg
and Bonnie, then blowing
out of town with the money.

Hang on.
What do you see?

He's coming out right now.
Tell you what.

I'll use Fiona's gizmo.
I'll just zap the car.

Call me when it's done.
All right.

[ Michael Narrating ] That's
what happens when you wire a
cell phone to a blasting cap...

in the gas tank
instead of
the electrical system.

Son of a bitch!

Fiona, you were supposed
to stop the car, not blow it
into the Everglades.

What happened to
shorting the ignition?

Well, you said disable.
It's not going anywhere.

You know what I meant.
I almost had him.
I was this close.

The F.B.I. is back, I see.
I'm under surveillance again.

Sam, I thought you were
supposed to handle that.

Mike, there's only
so much I can do.
I gotta tell the suits...

why we're down at the marina
to keep them off our back,

but if somebody starts
blowing up cars
down at the marina--

Remind me why you're friends
with someone who put the
F.B.I. back onto you.

- That is so unfair.
- Sam, what about Quentin?

You were supposed to
nudge him, not send him
into a homicidal frenzy.

Look, you guys were off
doing your thing, so I
signed up Greg and Bonnie...

to this Medallion Airways
executive service
to the Cayman Islands,

you know, as part
of the setup.
Yeah?

Well, they got this new thing
where they overnight a bottle of
champagne to the new members.

Quentin started sniffing around,
and in less than an hour,
he found everything that I did.

It was a bunch of little stuff,
but he put it all together.

Turn him around.
Make him trust you.

He's not
in a trusting mood, Fi.

[ Sighs ]
I know you're angry,
Michael.

But I know that
an exploding car...

can throw a man
off balance.

You'll thank me.
He won't even
talk to me.

He won't even answer
my calls.

Well, you'll have to be
extra charming.

** [ Dance ]

[ Michael Narrating ]
Whether you're in Moscow,
Tehran or Miami,

club girls are a good
source of information.

Men say things
to a beautiful woman.

They give out
phone numbers, hotel keys.
They let down their guard.

- [ No Audible Dialogue ]
- Getting information from a
club girl means buying drinks.

It's no problem
with an operational slush fund.

It's a big problem
if you're spending cash
scrounged from your mom's purse.

You have to help me out.
Please. Please.

We're doing this night at
a club in Hollywood Beach.
Amazing.

I mean, I'm flying in
a deejay from Berlin.
It's gonna be crazy.

Quentin reserves
a V.I.P. table
for 4,000 bucks,

and I can't get in touch
with him to tell him
the date changed.

Can you help me?
He's gonna be pissed.
You know how angry he gets.

So how about us?
Are we on the list?

Oh, 100 percent.
You're all in.

Just please,
please help me out.
Please.

Well, I think he only uses this
number for girls, but here.

[ Beeping ]

You're a hard man
to reach.

[ Quentin ] Yeah, well, things
have been a little bit busy.
What do you want?

Same thing as before--
Make some money.

Where are you?
I'm laying low.

When can we get
together?

I don't think that's
a very good idea right now.

Quentin, buddy, I'm the only guy
you can trust right now.

Your partners just tried
to kill you. You need a friend.
[ Breathing Heavily ]

Quentin, you need to learn
to reach out.

We can help each other.

Quentin?
Fine. Where?

[ Ship Horn Blowing ]

Whoa, whoa, buddy.
It's me.

I've been
waitin' here, man.
You said 2:00.

It's 2:00.

You know they're
back on my yacht?

I'm gonna go down there.
I swear to God.
Listen. Buddy--

Two bodies, a murder weapon,
and you're suspect number one.
I mean, you know my style.

I'm not afraid to pull a trigger
if that's what has to happen,
but let's be smart about this.

Got a better idea?
Yeah.

I know a guy.
Know what I'm sayin'?

Someone who can
deal with this.

It'll cost some money,
but he'll make this
go away.

Quiet,
no connection to you.

One wire transfer, it's done.
And then we can go on
with our business.

[ Michael Narrating ]
A hit man is like a plumber,
a dentist or a mechanic.

Everybody's always
looking for a good one.

All right.
Let's set that up.
You do both of them?

How much?
Fifty thousand.

And they'll both be dead?
No connection to me?

- All right.
- I'll be in touch.

Okay.

[ Phone Beeps ]
Okay.

Sam, Quentin bit.
I need you and Fiona to deal
with Bonnie and Greg.

It's time
they got out of town.
Can do, Mike.

You know you're out
of orange juice?
Sam.

[ Greg ]
What am I supposed to do?
His car blew up. He's gone.

Maybe he's got enemies
he didn't tell us about.

It's that couple
that broke into the boat.

Good afternoon. Miami P.D.
I'm Detective Cagney.
This is Detective Lacey.

We'd like to talk to you.

I'm not gonna lie to you.
You two are in a lot
of trouble.

We'd like to know
where your partner is.

- You tell me.
- [ Chuckles ]

You know, you might want
to be more cooperative.

We've been
monitoring you two
for quite a while.

You might recall
walking in on us
as we were planting this.

We have all the financial
transactions off your computer.

- So, your partner?
- We don't know, okay?

- He's just gone.
- [ Fiona ] Too bad.

There's no deal for you
if he doesn't show up.
You go down for the whole show.

Miami juries, they don't like
people who rob retirees
and beat up grandmas.

That wasn't us.
That was Quentin.
We never touched them.

Quentin was the one
smacking them around.
Shut up, Bonnie.

We don't even have the money.
Quentin transferred it all
to his own account--

Shut up!

Of course, you could
help us find him, testify
for a reduced sentence,

and only get--
I don't know-- five to 10.

- I want to talk to a lawyer.
- [ Fiona ] Go ahead.

Don't take too long.
And don't go anywhere.

You know, for all your
anti-government speechifying,
you do lady cop pretty well.

Thanks.

[ Sam ]
Okay, so you bet
they'd be gone by 4:00.

About another couple minutes.
After that, I'm 20 bucks richer.

I'll win. Greg comes on
strong, but you can tell
he's scared of prison.

He's selling her
on the sandy beaches
of Cancún right now.

Mexico? You think?
Mmm. Or the Caribbean.

Hmm.

Uh-oh.

[ Laughs ]
Okay. There they go.

Don't look so smug.

[ Michael Narrating ]
I don't much like
dealing with paranoids.

They get erratic,
make bad decisions.

Of course, that can be a help
when you need them to make
a bad decision.

[ Gasps ] Jesus Christ,
you scared the crap out of me.
What the hell...

do you think you're doing?
I'm going to the bank
like we said.

With the F.B.I. watching you?
F.B.I.? What are you
talking about?

Right there! Look!

F.B.I.? How?

I don't know.
You tell me, Quentin.
Greg and Bonnie.

I took the cash.
They must have
gone to the feds.

You're careless.
You're careless and you're
gonna get us caught.

I am not going back
to prison.
All right.

Shut up for a second
and let me think.
There is no time for that.

You need Greg and Bonnie
dead more than ever.
They're your only witnesses.

They know me.
This is a disaster, Quentin.
Okay, okay. Fine.

We'll go to the bank.
I'll wire the money to your
guy like we talked about.

Wire the money?
With an F.B.I. tail?

Are you stupid? Or are you just
trying to get us caught?

You know what?
Have a nice life.

Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait.

We could get somebody else
to make the transfer.

It has to happen right now!
What are you gonna do, find some
guy on the street and say,

"Can you wire money
to Aruba?" Nice try.
You do it.

No. I'm not
cleaning up your mess.

They don't know you.
I'll give you
my account numbers.

You send the money.
We'll meet up later.

No. I take all the risk
and I save your ass.
No, thank you.

It's gonna work.
I'm telling you.

And then we make some money?

Then we make some money.

Fine. But you make sure
the feds follow you,

because if they follow me,
you'll wish I put a bullet
in your head right here.

[ Clears Throat ]

[ Chattering ]

[ Michael Narrating ]
Truth is, identity theft
isn't hard.

A number and an I.D.
is all you need
to drain a bank account...

and return a lot of money
to some very surprised retirees.

But why stop there?

As long as you're stealing
someone's identity,

why not use it to contact some
known terrorist organizations
on un-secure phone lines?

Why not use it to threaten
some federal judges and insult
the local drug cartel?

- [ Police Radio Chatter ]
- Most fun I've had in Miami.

It was all there.

I looked at my bank statement,
and there it was--
all the money.

- I'm glad it could work out.
- I told ya. Didn't I tell you?

How did you do it?
How did you get it all back?

You don't want to know.

- No, really,
you don't want to know.
- Oh.

Well, how much
do I owe you?

Well, I didn't do it
for the money.
Let's call it...

500 for expenses.

Call it 300, and you
promise not to enter
any more contests.

[ Chuckling ]
I promise.

Michael!

Yeah, Ma?

Thank you.

Wait.

There's one more thing.

Those men
who came to the house
asking the questions--

They gave me this.

They asked me to call them
if you should ever come to Miami
or try to contact me.

Did you contact them?

No, Michael, I did not.

Family comes first.

[ Phone Beeping ]

[ Line Ringing ]

[ Man ]
You've been a busy boy,
Michael.

Very impressive.

Glad to be appreciated.
Who is this?

Oh, just a friend.

Who is this?

Stay out of trouble, Michael.
We'll be in touch.

[ Beeps ]