Brothers & Sisters (2006–2011): Season 1, Episode 14 - Valentine's Day Massacre - full transcript

Previously on "brothers and sisters"...

you're a tv heart
throb with a girlfriend.

It'd be stupid for me to
think that this is, you know

anything more than what it is.

I'm in rehab.

So you're out making amends, huh?

You are the best thing that's
happened to me in a long time.

I'm seeing someone.

This is a vineyard called greendale.

William walker felt very strongly that

ojai food should be in
the wine making business.



I just hope that
someday I could be worthy

of your love and respect,
whether we're together or not.

We've been in here for,
like,over a minute now.

We haven't even done anything.

It's not that I don't want to--

I-I don't mean that I-I do want to.

It's just that even if I did want to

I couldn't.

Oh! Oh.

- Are you okay?
- Uh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

I'm fine. I'm fine.Uh...

- You sure?
- Yeah. How are you?

Okay. Oh, don't worry.

You'll get used to
my hair in the morning.



Oh. Nah. No, it wasn't...

wasn't that.

- What was it?
- Uh, it was an earthquake.

- Earthquake?
- Yeah, yeah. No, those--

those happen in--in california.

I think it was about a 5, or
maybe even a-a 6.2 or something.

- You didn't feel it?
- No.

Huh.

Well, um, check the news.

- I'm gonna go to the--
- sure.

You know, the--the bathroom.

- That's the closet.
- yeah.

I knew that...

well, it's a pretty--pretty day.

Ah, here's the bathroom.

- hey, kit. How was your Valentine's?
- Oh, sarah, thank god.

oh, sarah, thank god.
Thank god you picked up.

You are never gonna believe this.

I slept with mccallister.

Oh, god, kitty,you scared me.

- I thought something bad had happened.
- Something bad did happen.

Do you understand that I work for him?

- He--he is my boss.-Oh, please.

Sleeping with coworkers
is like a reflex for you.

Anyway, didn't you say he
was also attracted to you?

Yes, but we agreed
that we wouldn't act on it.

- What am I gonna do?
- Give me a break.

When have you ever slept with
someone you didn't work with?

Oh, you know what, sarah?
Be nice. Just be nice, okay?

You know--just--it--
it happened so fast.

I hadn't even kissed
him until last night

and all of a sudden,
we're sleeping together?

I mean, what if he thinks I'm easy?

I mean, just come on.

Think back to your college
days when you and all those guys--

finish that sentence and I
am calling my favorite tabloid.

- How was he?
- Sarah, please

as if I would ever even--
you know, he was great.

Really?

I thought the only position the
republicans could commit to was missionary.

Oh, can we just get back to the fact

that I'm sitting in a hotel
room with a naked politician/my boss?

- oh, oh Hold on. It's kevin calling me.
- Okay.

Hello, Kevin. Listen, I-I-I
just--I cannot talk right now.

I'm in the--I'm in the middle
of something very important.

Nothing is more important than this.

- I slept with him.
- Who, chad?

No, not chad .I've already
been sleeping with chad.

Well, what, what, there's
something more surprising

than you having a closeted
affair with a soap star?

scotty. I slept with scotty.

Oh, well, that's great. I-I like scotty.

No, it's not great. He's my ex.

Don't you know what that means?

Oh, can you just hold--hold on one second.

I'm on the other line with sarah.

Hey, Sarah, you're
never gonna believe this.

Kevin slept with scotty last night.

Hello?

And just like that, you
were gonna betray my trust.

Oh, please.You know what, kevin?

You're like the CNN of
our family. Just hold on.

Hey, Sarah, sorry.

So, uh, kevin slept with
scotty last night.

Shut up! Get the details.
I'll hold.

And I wouldn't go telling him about "Mr Smith
goes to Washington," if you know what I mean.

okay, Kevin, spill it quickly.

- I have a crisis to avert over here.
- What crisis?

It's 8:00 in the morning.

Oh, did something happen
last night? Did we get lit?

Oh, my god.

- You and Mccallister?
- No! I didn't! I didn't!

- We didn't! We didn't!
- How does he look naked?

I bet he looks good.

Was it hot in that morally
reprehensible kind of way?

Justin's calling. Hold on.

- Guess what?
- I messed up, bro.

Uh, okay. Wha--well, at
least you're still alive.

Look, I didn't do drugs, moron

just... just Tyler.

oh, you ass.

Seriously, bro, I'm not
supposed to have sex yet.

They think I'll just replace
my drug addiction with--

- oh, and what, after rehab you're sworn to celibacy?
- Yeah, kind of.

Look, I gotta go.

okay, whatever.

- Justin got back with Tyler last night.
- Oh, you're kidding.

- Did you tell him?
- What, that we're both having sexes with exes?

No, but I can't wait to.

Mom's calling. Look, I'm gonna hang up
so it'll go straight to voice mail

or she'll know I'm avoiding her call.

All right, all right, bye.

You better have the creme de la gossip.

So, uh, justin slept with tyler
last night. Kevin is the source.

You're all sluts!

How is it that I am the only one that
can't get laid on valentine's day?

Mom is trying to call me now. Hang on.

Don't you dare put me on hold.

I want the juice. Call her back.

Does the senator sleep in the nude?

Well, in fact, um...

he does.

oh. Mom's calling me now.
Your turn to hold.

Hi, mom. Justin's fine. He's with tyler.

oh, good, good.

That--that's...not really why I called.

For the record, sweetie

I tried to bother Kitty
and Kevin with this first.

Well, I appreciate that, mom.

What can I help you with?

Sarah, could you come
pick me up... soon?

I think I'm close to your work.

And I'll need you to
bring your checkbook.

Where are you?

Well, you know that white building on Huntington
boulevard across the street from the bank

the one with the real
tall fence around it?

You mean the pasadena police station?

Yes, sweetie, that's it.

That's it.

24 hours earlier

- Bad news, sarah.
- I'll call you back.

I just got off the phone
with our real estate agent.

Greendale vineyards was all but ours until
santa ynez food company put in a higher bid.

Oh, that is bad news.

Dad used to drink with
bill harmsen. Believe me

the last thing that guy should be
doing is--is trying to buy a vineyard.

- How much more did they offer?
- $4 million.

- What?
- That means we're looking a little over $8 million.

So much for holly's spiel about
the vineyard being undervalued.

Well, that doesn't mean that it
wouldn't be a solid business investment.

Are you kidding?

Saul, there's nothing solid
about the wine business

especially when you dive into
it headfirst with no experience.

exactly.Now can we please
just close the book on this?

Holly's gonna have an aneurysm.

If holly wants to overturn
my decision as president,

she's welcome to go to the board
and get 75% of the vote to overrule me.

Then again, probably not.

She still has a considerable
amount of ojai stock, sarah.

Oh, come on, saul.If any major
shareholder came in here with

the same ridiculous proposal,
they would get the same result.

And as for holly,

as long as we don't have a
gold-digging mistress division

she's of absolutely no use
to ojai foods or to me.

- aah! What was that?
- Football--

backbone of american sports.

- I thought the football season was over.
- Office football has no season.

Tax dollars hard at work.

- Can I, um, talk to you for a second?
- Sure.What's up?

Well,your scheduling person just told me that

I had to go to san diego for the night.

Sorry, I'm seeing a major donor,

and I need it to look like,
you know, people work for me.

Ani'm the only one going because...

it's Valentine's day,

and the rest of the staff
is otherwise engaged.

How do you know that
I can go to san diego?

- How do you know that I don't have any plans?
- No, no, no, no, no.

I know you. Told me. You're on a man-diet.

A man-fast. It's a--it's a man-fast.

Because that sounds so much better.

- Who's the donor?
- Michael pellington.

You--you mean the...the billionaire?

Hope so. Gonna be asking
him for a lot of money.

- Mm-hmm.
- Where are you going?

I'm--I'm going home to pack.

It's an overnight.Just
throw sometng in a baG.

I am going to san diego with a
U.S. Senator to see a billionaire.

I am going to bring options.

Hey, kitty.

good catch.

Brothers And Sisters
114 "Valentine's Day Massacre"

- isn't that your friend?
- yeah.

- What's his name again?
- Uh, kev... in.

Kevin! Come stretch with us.

Come on. Don't be shy.

- hey.
- Look at those glutes.

I can't believe you're single.

- You are single, right?
- Yeah.

I can see it in those sad blue eyes.

- Michelle.
- What? He's a big boy.

Let me hook you up
with one of my friends.

Do they look like you?

- Yes, they do.
- Then no.

What, you like big boobs?

Uh, I've retired from
the boob business.

Holy crap.You're, like, gay.

I'm not "like" gay. I'm the real thing.

"I'm the real thing."
I love the way you talk.

You're a funny guy,and you
make, like, six figures.

If you were straight, you would
have the hottest girlfriend.

So what kind of guys do you go for?

Come on, chad. What's his type?

Um... he's hard to please.

- What, businessmen?
- No.

- Ivy leaguers?
- Ugh.

- Big, beefy gym bunnies?
- I prefer them slightly waifish.

Oh, my god.Oh, my god!

The best guy for you ever!

Michelle... I'm not sure kevin's
so desperate to meet somebody.

- He's a busy guy.
- No, I'm--I'm interested.

I can't believe I didn't
think about this before.

You guys will love each other.

He's well put together. He's gorgeous.

- What are you doing tonight for valentine's?
- Nothing.

Then it's offic'.

You're coming to my sister's
valentine's day party.

Don't worry.I'm
hooking you up huge.

You're gonna thank me.

I swear, all the best
guys I meet are gay...

except you, of course, babe.

hey, tommy, do you have five minutes?

For you, holly,I have three.

I just got off the phone with
bill harmsen.What an ass.

I-I can't believe your father
and he were friends.

They weren't, just civil.

Top two local-supplying
orchards in the valley.

Couldn't be any more direct competition.

You know, in our heyday, dad used
to compare ojai foods and santa ynez--

to the lakers and the celtics.I remember.

Yeah. It was a bad analogy.

If it was such a bad investment

why would your father's competitor
be interested in the same property?

Will you just let it go, all right?

My sister's the
president. She made the call.

Tommy...

your father was going to
buy the winery next year.

He knew that when he wrote his will.

He died before he could
give you the vineyard.

He wanted you to run it.

That's why he left you as
vice president of ojai.

What are you talkin' about?

It's the only reason that he
brought sarah on in the first place.

It was too much responsibility
for anyone to run both companies.

He saw it as the futur for
this family,your future.

Why would he think I'd know
the first thing about a w--a winery?

He didn't know anything about wine
either, but he knew about business

and he believed in
you more than anyone.

He knew you wouldn't let him down.

Yeah.

Look, holly,this conversation is over.

Fair enough.

I mean, it's really not your call anyhow.

you weren't kidding about the packing.

Oh, well, I needed to plan for everything.

I needed high heels, low heels,
flats, sandals, sneakers,

flip-flops, and those are just the shoes.

So I figured out why we're
going to see michael pellington.

Thank you. He's a major contributor.

Oh, contributor, right, that's
a very good cover.

But I've been looking over
your traveling schedule

for the past few months--
stops in iowa and new hampshire.

We, I have family in new hampshire,
and my plane refuels in iowa.

Ah, so what are you gonna do about
the other states with major primaries

that don't have relatives or jet fuel?

I think they all pretty
much have jet fuel.

W-wait a minute. What's
wrong with the elevator?

The elevator doesn't have roof access

we're going on that?

I've never--no, I've--I've
never been on one before.

Bet you wish you'd packed less.

anyway, we're going to pellington
because you don't have enough money

not as much as you'd need to--

well,not even enough to form
an exploratory committee

to determine whether or not
you could even raise the money.

If you're gonna ask me something,
you should just ask it.

Senator... are you
running for president?

Well, yes, I am, miss walker.

You know what else?

I'm gonna win.

Oh, god, I absolutely have to
have sex with my husband tonight.

It is a biologal imperative.

Can we talk about the
numbers on the winery?

I think your valuation was too low.

Oa. Where did that come from?

Well, I think you overestimated
the first quarter losses.

I don't think.We know
absolutely nothing about wine.

Oh, what, you think dad had
intrinsic knowledge about fruit?

She got to you,didn't she?

Sarah, I think you're in denial
about how well holly knew dad

and what he told her.

What exactly has she been telling you?

What line of bull--

happy valentine's day!

One's mind grasps for
a bigger oxymoron.

Look, mit it. You might be ignoring a
possibility because of your pride.

- Tommy, she's manipulating you.
- Will you give me some credit?

Credit for what?

She said dad was gonna
buy it for me to run.

Oh. Oh, boy.

That's not even manipulation.
That's just evil.

See, this is what
I'm talkin' about.

You don't trust my judgment

even though the last time you
did, we found $30 million.

Tommy.

Oh, boy.

Holly's doing?

That woman,she's a piece of work.

I won't have her driving a
wedge between you two.

- I'll deal with her.
- Thank you, saul.

That allows me to spend the rest of my day
focusing on the really important work,

which is trying to find a
babysitter for valentine's night.

I regretted what I said to tommy

soon as the words came out of my mouth.

I-I knew how they could be misinterpreted.

"Misinterpreted"?

What I said to him was the truth

and sarah

well, I-I know th I cannot
change her opinion of me,

which is why I approached
him in the first place.

So you can see now how that
was an error in judgment?

I can, I do, and I'm sorry.

It won'tappen again.

Yeah. Okay.

Then I have another proposal for you...

dinner tonight.

Dinner on valentine's day?

Well, I-I think we've been down
that road before, holly, so--

this would be a completely different road,

a totally platonic one--

two friends who have no
one to be with on a holiday.

Come on.

For old time's sake?

well,I know it may seem unlikely,

but like kennedy said,
"fortune favors the brave."

No, virgil wrote that.

Kennedy said, "those who dare to fail
miserably can achieve greatly."

Same difference.

- So why didt you tell me?
- I did tell you.

Well, after I figured it out.

I mean, did it ever occur to you that
some of the people who you work with

don't want to be part
of a presidential race?

Then they'll quit.

Did it ever occur to you that maybe i
don't want to be part of a presidential race,

that this isn't what I signed up for?

- Really?
- Really

'Cause I'm fairly certain that you
don't see yourself running communications

for a senator for
the rest of your life.

You and I both know it'd be
a profound waste of your talent.

You ought to be center
stage,not bush league.

We really have to do something
about your mixing of metaphors.

Senator, I'm--I'm sorry,but you're--

you're just not gonna get
the presidential nomination.

Well, then I'll work on my metaphors.

ah.Here we go.

- Bob, so sorry.
- Michael.

Korean cell phone company
we recently acquired--

nothing but a thorn in my side.

Michael, I want you to
meet kitty walker.

Kitty, michael pellington,the
man who pillaged silicon valley.

What a title.

Bob flatters me. I didn't
pillage anyone's valley.

I might have plundered it slightly.

who is this guy

the guy michelle's trying to set
me up with?Am I gonna like him?

No. You've already
fallen for someby else.

This whole affair's giving
my ulcer an anxiety attack.

It's my career, kev.

We've been over this.

I know. It's just taking
its toll on me, that's all

you're never gonna want anything more
than what we have,and I'm always going to.

There's an inevitable
outcome here, chad.

You're not my prisoner.

- I'm not making you stay in this.
- No, we're both your prisoner.

I'm sorry. I don't know
what else to do.

here.

It's A...valentine.

Make up for dragging you into the
closet with me for this long.

this is way too much.

No, it's not.

Please come tonight.

I know we can't be together
for valentine's day,

but that doesn't mean
I don't want to see you.

oh, look,here's a
picture of you and tyler.

I really liked her.She was so
sweet and had direction,

not like the other one--what
was her name,chick or calf or--

-fawn, mom, fawn.-fawn.

I didn't care for fawn.

Whatever happened to tyler?

Uh, she's seeing someone else.

Oh.Have you given her a call?

Nope. I'm gonna leave that alone.

No girl wants to be left alone.

And so what if she turns
you down once or ten times?

The only things of real value in life

are the things you have to fight for.

That's great, mom. So you're
teaching me to be a stalker.

Well, since you have no
plans for valentine's day,

maybe we could do
something together.

I have reservations at this
great little french restaurant.

maybe we could go to
the animated movie...

After that,with the animals,
you know,that escape from the zoo

or the farm--whatever--
and they all go nuts.

-What up?-Hey, snot face.

Uh-oh.You only call me snot
face when you want something.

What is it?

Uh, yeah. Yeah. Listen, um,

I know this is a lot to ask
on valentine's day, and you

just got home and everything,
and you can absolutely say no,

but, um, is there any chance you could
babysit for paige and cooper tonight?

Absolutely, I'm in.
I'll be right over.

You...

- mom?
- What?

I need to go babysit for joe
and sarah. I love you.

Happy valentine's day.I'm sorry.

Well, I could... babysit.

I'm sorry I can't help you.

Oh, but--but we haven't
asked you for anything yet.

Yet.But you will.

In fact, you will ask me for money,

enough to bankroll the first few
months-- stop me when I'm wrong.

Keep talkin'.

You see, miss walker,people don't
come to my office for the view,

certainly not war hero senators with
triangulated voting records.

I prefer "mainstream."

Your entire political
career has been aimed

towards the white
house,and you know what?

I admire that.

But, bob, and I'm sorry to be
the one to tell you this

you are a poor investment.

See, you're not
gonna get the nomination.

You're young, you're catholic,you're
from california,your brother's gay,

and forget all that,
there's the divorce.

It totally knocks
you out of this round.

I'm sorry. I just can't say
it any plainer than that.

But even if you could,it
wouldn't make you more right.

Voters just want somebody
who can do the job.

They want a leader, and leaders
are not made by satisfying

some set of criteria,
marital or otherwise.

In fact,leaders aren't made at all.

They stand out, self-evident,
because they can lead,

and you happen to be sitting
across from somebody who can.

Now please,we're
not trying to sell you.

We're not trying to convince you,

but I do think that by 2008,when we're
transitioning into the white house,

you're gonna be damn sorry
that you missed this opportunity.

So I think we're done here.

Oh, but there is one more thing.

His name's not bob.

It's robert.

And you really should be
calling him "senator."

Millions of people didn't elect him
to office to be called "bob," mike.

- She hasn't been doing this long, has she?
- No, not at all.

- Should I go get her?
- Oh, no, no, no.It's, uh... let me.

miss walker, I'm intrigued by
your enthusiasm for the senator.

Clearly he has made a
believer out of you,

and from what I can tell,
that is not an easy task.

That is impressive.

So if you're free this evening,I'd
like to talk to you about it over dinner.

Well, sure, I think the
senator and I are free.

No, not him. Just you.

hey. How's it going?

Good. I'll get you a drink.

So I can end up the lead story
on "defamer" tomorrow? No, thanks.

It'll make you more comfortable,
which will make me more comfortable.

- Yeah, I don't know
- there you are.

And I need you...

you for dancing,and you for
meeting the manof your dreams.

U should really have us trade.

Kevin, this is scotty.

- KeviN...nice to meet you.
- Yeah, nice to meet you.

- this is so lame. Can't we go do something, uncle justin?
- What do you want to do?

- What do you want
- ice cream!

No ice cream!I'm not putting any
more sugar in you, little boy.

What time do you guys go to bed?

We're allowed to stay up until 4:00.

So does uncle justin
look that stupid to you?

Did you ever see "narnia"?It's so cool.

- Oh! Oh, yeah, yeah!Where the lion
- paige, I'm telling the story!

Yeah, I think it's on tv tonight.
I think it's on tv tonight.

We can watch it.We can
watch it.We can watch it.

that's my phone. That's my phone.
Where's my phone?Where's my phone?Where's my...

I want a cell phone.

No cell phones for

- tyler?
- Justin?

- Tyler!
- who's tyler?

- Who's that?
- Uh, that's, uh, that's paige.

I'm--I'm babysitting.

Yeah, I kind of figured you'd
be stag on valentine's day.

Uh, yeah,but what about you?

Just waiting for my
boyfriend to show up.

Um, we're going to some
italian place in los feliz,

and I just wanted to make sure someone
wished you a happy valentine's day.

And I guess I was thinking, and...

never mind.

- I shouldn't have called.
- Tyler, wait

- this was a bad idea.I gotta go.
- Tyler, wait!

stop.

All right, I got an idea.
Who's hury? Who's hungry?

- ice cream!
- yeah!

But no ice cream! I haven't
what about italian?

Emily, thank you so much
for coming with me tonight.

Can't let a good reservation go to waste.

Oh, honey,I know that look.

- What?
- That's the--

that's the "everybody in the
restaurant's happy but me" look,isn't it?

I'm sorry. I'm pathetic.

You go on. I'll just--I'll be the
the rapist here.How's that?

- Really?
- Mm-hmm.

Well, I think this is an
easy one to diagnose.

I mean, here we are
using this reservation

thatI made in anticipation that
my husband would be alive.

And he'S... not.

And my children are all grown
with lives of their own,

which is great. It's fabulous.

- I don't know, emil I don'have a life.
- Ooh.

- I have no life.
- Oh, honey, you so need to get out more.

I mean, I know it's hard,

but you really have to
force yourself to.

Force myself to what?
Force myself to what?

I'm gonna start over again at 60?

- I don't think so.
- I know what you need.

You need something that will
take your mind off everything,

something that will help you relax,

and I just happen to
have what you need here,

where I keep it with
me at all times.Ta-da!

Put that away.Are you
out--put it away!

No.What's it--it'll be fun!

It's no big deal.It's just grass.

What is this, peer pressure?
Put that away!

Of course it's peer pressure.

Peer pressure's what makes
the world go round.

I'll bet you you haven't
let down that perfect,

still-brown hair for a
long time, have you?

No, absolutely--justin
just got out of rehab,

for goodness--I-I never liked grass.

It makes me stupid.

I wouldn't even remember how--
I don't even remember the '60s. No.

Darling, nobody remembers the '60s.

That was half the fun.

You do remember how to have fun, don't you?

aren't you the little risk-taker?

Look at you, really making a
statement this evening--

dressed to take the
singles out of the party.

Look, I know I can't stop
you from hating me,

but do you tnk you could pull back
just a little on the mocking?

Mayb that is quite the masculine watch.

I guess not. That's quite
the masculine haircut.

leave the mocking to the professionals.

you okay?Scott, right?

- Tee.
- Close enough.

- You good, kev?
- Yeah, great.

my gaydar just redlined.

how do you know michelle again?

I do boot camp with her.

No,you do boot camp with him.

To being friends of friends.

I should have known,honestly.

What were the odds?

How many gay lawyer kevins do you think
there are in this town?

I'll tell you this much--
you couldn't come more highly recommended.

Neither could you--

"kevin, the hot teddy bear of an attorney."

Tell me, did i live uto the hype?

Beyond my wildest expectations.

How about me?

Better than advertised.

You better watch out.I'm a little drunk.

You might be able to take advantage of me.

Oh, is that a premature excuse?

I miss you sometimes.

Me, too.Sometimes.

Wow,his is amazing.
You've rented out the entire restaant.

Renting is a waste of money.
It's expense without equity.

I-I own the place.

You own the restaurant.

Uh, no, I own the hotel.

Uh, the restaurant kind of came with it.

I.I bought the hotel because my very first
business meeting was right here.

You know,if you anted a memento,

I'm sure they probably sold
postcards in the gift shop.

I was trying to get the owner to invest
in my first tech company,

and he turned me down flat.

So when I took the company public,

I came back here,and I bought his hotel.

Well, he made a very big
mistake underestimating you.

- Well...
- But I'm having a very hard time being impressed

by your good investments when you're
so willing to pass up a great one.

I'm impressed with you,

which is not the same thing
as being impressed with your boss.

Well, if you're as impressed with me
as you say you are,

you would trust my judgment.

Why do you think we're
sitting here having dinner?

But I will need more
than your endorsement

to write the kind of
check you're talking about.

Did you know that in the last election,

only 26% of young voters put their trust
in the republican party?

26%.You want to know why?

Because while we were very concerned with
our medals and our religion

and our family values,the future of
this country was looking for someone

to bridge the gap between the college
campus and the retirement home.

Senator mccallister is that someone.

You feeling better?I feel better.

- You know...on the one hand here...
- yeah?

- I feel rejuvenated.
- Yeah, I can see that.Good, good.

And on the other hand?
What are you feeling on the other hand?

Let me look.I'm gonna throw up.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.You
just have to relax here.

- Ooh. Okay.Just relax.
- All right, I'm relaxed.

- relax, relax.Everyone does this, you know?
- Everyone does a lot of things here, you know.

- Everyone does a lot of things.
- Yeah, everyone does a lot of things.

- Everyone does a lot of things.
- Everyone does a lot of things.

That is so great.I gott
a remember that one.

- What are you doing?
- "Everyone does a lot of things."

- I'm gonna write it down.
- What are you...

- you don't--you can write it down in your mind, you know.
- I gotta find my pencil and write it--

- Emily.
- What?

I lost my face.Where's my face?

I once had a face and a life.

I lost my life.

I used to be pretty.
I used to be happy.

- I lost it all.
- You still look like you're 40 to me.

Is that 40?

I can't believe you.

Is everything okay in there?

- Get this--
- give this to me. Here.

- Oh, no!
- Are you kidding me?

- No, shh!
- Now you--you do not--

- would you two step out of the vehicle, please?
- Okay, s, sir.Okay, coming!

- Oh, my god.
- Look, I'm emily craft.

- Yes, you're emily craft.
- You're nora walker.

- I'm nora walker.
- We're two nice old ladies.Out you go.

- Nice--I'm not old.You said I look like I was 40.
- Out you go.Legs together.

- Officer?
- Having a little fun tonight, ladies?

- sir, I can really explain this.
- I doubt that very much,ma'am.

You two are under arrest for
suspicion of possession

and the use of a controlled substance.

You have the right to remain silent.

Uncle justin,why are we going to
so many different restaurants?

Because there was like 19 different
italian restaurants in los feliz,

and I don't know where my friend tyler is.

Sir, do you have--do you have a reservation?

uh, yes, I do.

- hey.
- Justin.

What are you doing here?

Uh, can I talk to you for a second?

No, you can'T.

Tyler, who is thisuy?

He's, uh... he's a friend.

- They were boyfriend and girliend.
- Gross.

We weren't that serious, actually.

Okay, you know what, man?

How about you get on your way right now?

Look, I'll get out of
here right after I say

what I came to 19 different
restaurants to say.

Look, I didn't come here
to win you back, tyler.

I hope you'll come back to me.

But I'm not dumb enough to think
that anyone can just win you.

But I just wanted to let you know
what you mean to me.

And I-it'sart of getting clean,

and--and getting clean is the haest thing
I've ever done in my entire life.

But one of the things that got me
through it is the hope that someday,

that I'll--I'll get to be
with someone like you again.

So happy valentine'S. I'm--I'm--
I'm sorry I ruined it,

but you called me first.

I'm sorry for interrupting your meal.

Um, happy valentine's day.

- Uncle justin, I'm sorry.
- Oh, thanks, paige.That's sweet.

Justin!

- Can I see you later?
- Uh... yeah, yeah!Yeah, that'd be great.

I would kiss you right now,
but it would be a really rotten thing to do.

I have to go break up first.

Uh, uh, call me.I'll be on my cell.

- Okay. Okay, bye.
- Bye!Bye.

yeah!Yeah!

we are celebrating.

- Put on your dancin' shoes.We're goin' out.
- Dancing?

It's a mixed metaphor.I
spoke to pellington.

He wanted to talk about greenhouse
gas emissions and carbon caps.

I hope you didn't make any promises.

No, I told him you can't just
tax emissions and hinder business.

You gotta use the free market
and build a green economy.

Well, what did he think of that answer?

He's in.

I'm serious.Put on your dancin' shoes.

I think we'd better hold off on our rug
cutting until his check clears.

I'm not worried about it.

As long as you didn't sleep with him.

Well, this isn't"indecent
proposal,"and believe me,

I am no demi moore.

I always had a major thing for her.

Hey, there's still a few more hours
left in valentine's day.

I think we should go find all
the happy couples and,you know,

throw things at them.

Senator, I...

I think you need to go.

It's late,and, uh...

I'm tired.

Good night.

why?If we both feel the same
way about each other,

why should I go?

And if you say it's
because you work for me,

or you're on a man-cleanse

or 'cause I'm recently divorced or whatever
other excuse you're gonna come up with,

then I'm here to tell you
you are about to be outargued,

because while you were
down there dining,

I was coming up with a
list of counterpoints--

senator, you are eying a run
for the U.S. Presidency.

You--you just can't afford any
distractions right now.

In a debate,I get a rebuttal.

okay.Okay, what? What cou
you possibly say that

Okay.Okay, well,you
make a good point.

And furthermore...

What, that we're both
having sexes with exes?

No, but I can't wait to.

mom's calling.Look, I'm gonna hang
up so it'll go straight to voice mail,

or she'll know I'm avoiding her call.

All right. All right, bye.

- good morning, mister.
- Good morning.

Do you want some--

oh... I'm sorry.I
have to take this.

hey, how was the
rest of the party?

You went home with
that guy, didn't you?

Uh, is that fair?

Did you sleep with him?

That's all I want to know.

Uh, you don't,actually,
want to know.

I was gonna talk to michelle.

I was gonna...

- you know what?Forget it.
- What? Chad, don't--

don't call me, all right?

So last night was about making
someone else jealous.

I don't know.

Well, it obviously worked.

You know, you almost have
to love the irony.

You're right where I was
with you a few months ago.

You know, you ended
things with me, scotty.

Now you know how hard it is to
love someone who doesn't love himself.

I feel sorry for you.

Good luck, kevin.

it's just a travesty.I mean,

what has this city come to when the police
are arresting two little,old--

two mature women and throwing
'em in jail for the night?

Well, maybe if you had shown some
maturity and not resisted arrest...

I never resist--no
one ever re--oh.

Wouldn't my tax dollars be better spent
arresting drug dealers or bangers?

Gangbangers.

Mom, maybe you shouldn't be so judgmental
now that you have a record.

Any chance of you not telling
your siblings out this?

not a big chance, no.

Sarah, please, in the name
of all that's holy--

I'm the one who bought
you your first bra.

I'm not above playing
the guilt card.

Sorry, mom.

Who did you tell?

Oh, come on, mom! You spent a night
in jail for smoking pot.

This family should have,like, a bat signal
for things that good.

- Oh,
- don't worry about it.

If I were you I would be trying
to live as many great stories as I could.

You've had too much responsibility for too long.

Yeah, I know.

Being good for this family has been
my sole purpose of existence

for as long as I can remember.

I don't know.Maybe it's the
residual cannabis talking,

but what is the meaning of life supposed
to be the rest of my life?

To enjoy it however you want.

Oh, mom, you don't have
to worry about being good.

you--you should just be
worried about having fun.

Thou you might want to draw the line
at things that get you arrested.

yeah.

Well, if it's all right with you,

I am gonna take a shower for about an hour.

Here.

Thank you for picking me up.

Of course, mom. I know
you'd do the same for me.

sorry.

Oh, that jail had a particular smell,

- like lilacs dipped in urine.
- Nice.

- yeah!
- Oh, no.

this is the best day of my life.

Who knew you were the black
sheep of the family?

- Wow. Can we talk for a second?
- Sure.

- I'm proud of you.
- Shut up.

- Gimme a high five, mom.
- No. God.

- so what's up?
- I just wanted to give you a heads-up.

Holly's going to the board to try to
over turn your decision

not to counter on the vineyard.

That woman is a nut job.

I'm backing her play.

You're what?

Look, I think the opportunity's right.

I think the investment is right,

and I think it's what dad wanted.

I'm voting with holly.

What happens now?

We go downstairs.

Then what?

I'm gonna go to my office,check my e-mail,

so you can do whatever you want.

No, no, I meant about you and me.

I think I just covered
that--office, e-mail--

no, I mean if you don't
think that this is gonna work,

then--then--then I
completely understand.

I mean, if it's too
complicated for you

and--and your kids
and--and your divorce

and your--and not to mention
your--your presidential bid,

I mean, we can, honestly,

we can just pretend that
last nig never happened.

I mean, no, no, no,not
that it wasn't memorable.

I mean, it was. It was--
you know, it was great.

But...

but if you don't think
this will definitely work,

you're probably right.

Well, you know,there's
just one problem.

- I like you.
- Oh, great. You like me.

So what does that mean?
What does that mean,

we get to hold hands at cindy burke's
roller rink party?

No, I was thinking maybe dinner,

maybe sushi.

But I don't rent out entire restaurants,
unlike some people.

Oh, no, he--he actually--he owns it.

My point being,

people are gonna see us,kitty,

and I want you to kn that
I won't be caring.