Bridge and Tunnel (2021–…): Season 2, Episode 3 - She's Gone - full transcript
I realized when I met Maya,
I needed to be with someone
who has the same dreams as me.
- You found someone new.
- You kicked me to the curb.
She and I are flying back out
with National Geographic
at the end of that week.
Next week?
Well, what am I gonna do
with the Cougar, huh?
What am I gonna do
with the Cougar?
You think about that at all?
What are you doing?
I'm proposing.
I'm just not in love
with you anymore, Mikey.
Stacey Ross.
You recognize me?
- I'm sorry.
- I don't remember.
It's good to see you again,
even if you didn't
like my dancing.
Yeah, of course, I'd be here.
I live here.
And it's my name on the lease.
Your father's name,
don't you mean?
Same difference.
Oh, what the hell?
Throw down my keys!
Yeah, once he gets in a cab,
I'll throw 'em down.
I'll gladly get a cab
if it means
I don't have to listen
to any more of her bullshit!
So, Jimmy Boy,
you must be excited.
I mean, tomorrow's
the big day, right?
Yeah, she's flying
in around noon, meet the folks,
have dinner,
then it's bon voyage
in the a.m.
Some fucking friend you are,
leaving me alone
for three months
with this sad sack to deal with.
You know, I'm glad
you guys think
my heartbreak is funny, okay?
But it's not.
This shit fucking hurts, dude.
No, nobody finds
anything funny, okay?
We understand.
It just... it's still weird
seeing you
of all people like this.
You know, the big stud
with all the muscles now
moping around in this old robe
and tears in his eyes all day,
every day.
It's unexpected.
And sad but not in, you know,
a kind of endearing way,
more like a pathetic
kind of way.
Oh, yeah, well,
I don't give a shit, okay?
Because look at me.
You see this?
This is what
a heartache looks like.
Oh, well, we see
that very clearly, Mikey.
It's very apparent.
"It's A Heartache."
That's a good song
by the way, right?
Bonnie Tyler.
It's gotta be one of the best
breakup songs of all time.
Well, I don't know
if I'd go that far.
I reserve that slot
for "Babe" by Styx.
Oh, that's a big
fucking surprise there.
Okay, all right,
I'll let you have that
'cause I know they hold
a special place in your heart.
But come on, Pags.
All-time greatest?
- All right, fine.
- Hall & Oates, "She's Gone."
- Okay, now that's an answer.
- I can top it though.
Carol King.
"It's Too Late."
"Tracks of My Tears."
Smokey Robinson
and The Miracles.
- Janice Joplin.
- "Piece of my Heart."
- "Jolene."
- Dolly Parton.
"Angie" by the Stones.
Al Green, "How Can
You Mend a Broken Heart."
- Fuck you.
- That's a good one.
"I Heard It
Through The Grapevine."
The Marvin Gaye version
and the CCR version, two.
- "If I Can't Have You."
- Yvonne Elliman.
Damn, that's another good one.
It's 'cause I know my shit.
- "Don't Go Breaking My Heart."
- Elton John and Kiki Dee.
- "Ain't No Sunshine."
- Bill motherfucking Withers.
Shit, you're
fucking good at this.
Hey, they don't call me the
music man for nothing, do they?
Who the fuck calls you
the music man?
You know, I'm glad you guys are
having a laugh at my expense,
but if you're gonna be talking
about breakup songs,
how do you leave out
"I Will Survive," huh?
By Gloria Gaynor.
You know, Mikey, you're right.
At first, I was afraid.
♪ I was petrified
♪ Kept thinking I could never
live without you by my side ♪
♪ But then I spent
so many nights ♪
♪ Thinking how
you did me wrong, Tammy ♪
♪ And I grew strong
both: ♪ And I learned how
to get along ♪
- ♪ And so you're back.
- ♪ Ba-ba-na-na
- ♪ From outer space.
- ♪ Da-da-na-na
♪ I just walked in
to find you here ♪
♪ With that sad
look upon your face ♪
♪ I should have changed
that stupid lock ♪
♪ I should have made you
leave your key ♪
♪ If I had known
for just one second ♪
both:
♪ You'd be back to bother me
- ♪ Go on now, go.
- ♪ Ba-ba-da-ba
- ♪ Walk out the door.
- ♪ Ba-ba-da-ba
♪ Just turn around now
both: ♪ 'Cause you're not
welcome anymore ♪
♪ Weren't you the one who tried
to hurt me with goodbye ♪
♪ And you think I'd crumble?
♪ Do you think
I'd lay down and die? ♪
Both: ♪ Oh no, not I,
I will survive ♪
♪ I'm Mikey Diaz
both: ♪ For as long as I know
how to love ♪
♪ I know I'll stay alive
♪ 'Cause I've got
all my life to live ♪
♪ And I've got all my love
to give, I'll survive ♪
You'll survive, Mikey!
♪ I will survive
- You're gonna survive, baby!
- ♪ Hey, hey
Fuck you guys.
Both: ♪ Ba-da-ba-ba
- Hey, where are you going?
- Mikey!
Both:
♪ Ba-da-da-ba-da-da-ba-da-da
♪ Ba-da-do-do-do-do-do-do-do
- ♪ Ba-da.
- ♪ Do
Are you freaking kidding me?
Do you have any idea
what time it is?
Do you have any idea
what day it is?
It's my birthday.
I'm allowed to sleep in.
Really?
Well, then what was
your excuse for yesterday,
and the day before that,
and the day before that?
- Oh, wait, what was that, Ma?
- 'Cause it's my birthday.
You're not gonna be a huge pain
in the ass today.
Oh, wow.
That's so sweet of you.
Well, then tell me this.
How come you never have
to go to work anymore?
Did you get fired again?
I told you I'm freelance.
You deaf?
You know what that means?
It means when they call,
I go to work.
If they don't call,
I don't go to work.
It's pretty freaking simple.
Okay, it's pretty
freaking simple.
All right, well, what's simple
is you should just get
a full-time job.
If you had a full-time job,
then I wouldn't find you here
dressed in your outfit
from the night before.
And you couldn't even
take your freaking shoes off?
Please just go away!
I'm gonna make some coffee.
- Thank you.
- Welcome.
Dad, can I get a refill?
A refill, of course,
for my favorite child.
- Okay.
- Oh, favorite.
- There you go.
- Oh.
- Okay, Dad, come on.
- Did you see this?
I didn't realize that
your brother moved back
into the house.
- You still live here, huh?
- Come on.
When are you gonna
talk to me again?
When am I gonna talk
to you again?
I don't know if I'm ever gonna
talk to you again.
A kid who keeps secrets.
Why I would ever talk to you?
I'm not keeping se... I'm
trying to protect you
'cause you're
a little sensitive.
Sensitive, sensitive?
I think you have me confused
with somebody else, pal.
- Can I have some coffee?
- Oh, yeah, sure, coffee?
Coming right up.
There you go.
Oh, thank you.
Okay, are you gonna be cool
when Maya gets here?
Remember, she's staying
with us tonight
before we take off
to Sweden tomorrow.
Not only is he gonna be cool,
he's gonna be
on his best behavior,
which means no sulking.
- Sulking?
- Since when do I sulk?
Dad, you're sulking right now.
Go look in the mirror.
You know, I don't have time
to look in the mirror
because I have work to do
on that beautiful car
out in the driveway,
which is what I'm gonna do
right now.
Did he just call
that car beautiful?
Can you at least
bring the coffee back?
You know, I was thinking.
Oh, boy, I hope
you didn't hurt yourself.
- Very funny.
- You know that game,
Guess Who I Am.
I wanna play that with you,
and I want you
to tell me who I sound like.
Are you fucking kidding me?
I used to dream
of working in fashion,
but now I haven't had
a real job in six months.
I also used to live in the city
but recently moved back
into my childhood bedroom
to schnorr of my mother.
And the topping on the cake...
I think you mean the icing
on the cake or to top it off,
but go ahead.
The topping on the cake
is I no longer talk
to my lifelong best friend
because I'd let some guy get in
the middle of our friendship.
Who am I?
Have you been up
all morning coming up
with this stupid little routine?
Sitting out here
rehearsing your lines?
'Cause that's fucking sad, Ma.
You need to figure out what
you're gonna do with your life.
- My life is fine.
- Leave me alone.
No, your life is not fine.
You think being a party girl
is a fine life?
Party girl. What the hell
are you talking about?
A fine life is a life
where you're working
on Seventh Avenue,
not mooching off your mother.
A life where you're living
in the city, not here with me.
A life where your boyfriend
is a nice guy,
maybe like Jimmy
and not some older married man.
- Wait, you like Jimmy now?
- That's fucking new.
And I told you,
that guy is not my boyfriend.
- Oh, yeah.
- Well, what is he then?
I don't know, just a guy.
A guy to have a good time with.
Why do you even fucking care?
Because that's all you seem
to wanna do these days,
have a good time.
Well, I don't need to tell you
where that's gonna wind up.
Yeah, well you seem to think
this is all by choice, Ma.
And I gotta tell you
it's fucking not.
But thanks
for rubbing my nose in it.
[car honks]
That's my cab.
Have a great day.
Jill.
[10cc's
"The Things We Do For Love"]
♪ Too many broken hearts
have fallen in the river ♪
Train station, thanks.
♪ Have drifted out to sea
♪ You lay your bets
and then you pay the price ♪
♪ The things we do for love
all:
♪ The things we do for love
♪
♪ Communication is the
problem to the answer ♪
♪ You've got her number and
your hand is on the phone ♪
♪ The weather's turned,
and all the lines are down ♪
♪ The things we do for love
all:
♪ The things we do for love
♪ Like walking in the rain
♪ And the snow
when there's nowhere to go ♪
♪ And you're feelin' like
a part of you is dying ♪
- Hi.
- There's my girl.
♪ And you're looking
for the answer in her eyes ♪
♪ You think
you're gonna break up ♪
♪ Then she says
she wants to make up ♪
- I can't believe you're here.
- I missed you.
Oh, my God.
Hey, thank you.
Okay, let me get you inside.
So, Maya,
what is it that you do?
You a photographer, too?
No, I work
for the magazine actually.
For all the shoots
I'm assigned to,
I do all the tedious stuff,
like, coordinating travel,
visas, accommodations,
stuff like that.
Yeah, like our Sweden trip
has been
a fucking logistical nightmare.
She's had to redo the schedule
and budget
like 20 different times.
Yeah, and like Jimmy,
I only got to go home
for a few days to see my folks.
Where is home again?
- California, up near Big Sur.
- Northern California.
My parents moved
out there in the '60s
trying to escape the rat race.
Get this.
They lived in a house
with no electricity
till she was in high school.
Yeah, I told them that
if I had any chance of
getting into a decent college,
I would need to be able
to study at night
and not by candlelight.
And this house her father built,
it was basically a log cabin,
so you can see why
roughing out in Alaska
was no big deal for her.
- Wait, I'm sorry.
- Your father built your house?
Yeah, he's
a real Mr. Fix It.
You know, he can build
anything, fix anything.
Oh, it's a shame that
he's not here to help Artie
with that piece of crap
right behind you.
Right, honey?
Don't mock the old man.
I'll get it started soon enough,
even if it's without
this one's help.
Oh, the asshole who took me
out of the routine to hit on me
and then completely
threw off my rhythm?
Yeah, he should feel bad.
And no, I don't wanna
go out with him.
All right.
Look, I gotta go.
But yeah, we're still on
for tonight, okay?
I'll see you at El Faro.
Don't mind me.
I'm just getting some
of my things.
Look, Jill, I just wanna say
I'm sorry
for the other night, okay?
It was really late,
and I was tired,
and I know
I was being obnoxious,
but the last thing I wanted
was for you to move out.
Yeah, I didn't
wanna move out either.
I've been fucking living
with my mom for a whole week,
and I wanna kill her.
Okay, so then just
move back in here.
I would, but are you gonna be
cool with Henry coming here?
Stace, he's a really good guy.
He's really good to me.
Yeah, I bet he is,
but he's still married, Jill.
I think I'm just gonna
come back, like,
next week and get the rest
of my stuff if that's okay.
And by the way, I hope you
have a really nice birthday.
It is today, right?
It is today.
Well, at least I didn't
forget it this time.
Yeah, I agree.
All right.
Excuse me,
but what exactly are you doing?
- Hey, Mr. Farrell.
- Do me a favor.
Try and turn it over, will you?
Try and turn it over?
Yeah, if you don't mind.
All right.
You ready?
- Okay.
- Turn it over again.
[engine grinding]
Okay, try it now.
You almost got it.
Okay, now give it some gas.
[engine turning over]
- [laughs]
- I don't fucking believe it.
Are you kidding me?
What did you do?
- It was pretty simple.
- You weren't getting any spark.
Your coil wire is broken.
So I just did a temp job on it
with some electrical tape.
- Holy shit.
- You got it started.
I had nothing to do with it.
It was all this
young lady right here.
Why didn't he tell me she knew
a thing or two about cars?
'Cause I had no idea.
I take after my dad
in that respect.
If it's got an engine,
I can fix it.
Mazel tov, you got it running.
That means you can get it
the hell out of my driveway.
James, pay no attention
to your mother.
What that actually means
is tomorrow,
you and I can get started
on the bodywork.
And you, thank you.
James, you got a keeper.
[soft music]
- Hi.
- Thank you.
♪
Hello, birthday girl.
You scared me.
You look stunning.
- Hi.
- Hi.
This place is
really fucking cool.
- I want the best for you.
- Our table awaits.
♪
Stacey, over here, girl.
Sorry I'm late, boo.
Had the fucking
craziest day today.
Oh, don't worry about it.
It's given me plenty of time
to scope out the crowd,
and you're never gonna believe
who's here.
Are you fucking kidding me,
Patrick?
- Oh, come on.
- Just let me invite him over.
He's asked me about you every
day since we started rehearsal.
Yeah, well if he's
so interested in me,
maybe he should have
given me a part in the show.
Well, to be perfectly honest,
you should consider
yourself lucky.
The show sucks,
but he's a good guy.
Come on.
Let me just invite him over.
Okay, okay.
[upbeat music]
- He's coming. Be nice.
- I'm always nice.
I'm always nice, okay?
- Okay, darling.
- All right.
- Patrick.
- Stacey.
Nice surprise running
into you guys here.
Yeah, real surprise.
All right, I may have
put Patrick up to this.
So how are you?
- I'm good.
- Yeah?
Yeah, and you?
Patrick was telling me
that the show is really
gonna be something special.
- Oh, yeah?
- I think he's been lying to you.
The show is fucking awful.
Maybe the direction's lacking?
Yeah, that could have
something to do with it.
I mean... but he does have
an eye for talent, I must say.
- You think?
- Yeah.
I would strongly disagree.
Well, maybe it's not too late
to make up for that mistake.
And go down
with the sinking ship?
I don't think so.
Well, I assume
that Patrick's told you
I've been pestering him
for your number.
Yeah, I don't really shit
where I eat.
You know what I'm saying?
No, can't say I do.
She doesn't go out
with guys she works with.
Or that I may potentially
work with for that matter.
Okay, what if I promise
never to hire you
for one
of my shitty-ass shows, hm?
Would you consider going
on a date with me then?
You might wanna take him up
on that, Stacey.
As we were just discussing,
once the show flops,
he's not gonna get
hired again anytime soon.
How about this?
Before you make any decision,
you let me sit down
with you both
and buy you another round.
Your call, Stace.
Well, I am broke,
and I would love
another Martini, so yeah.
Okay, sure.
- You too?
- Yeah, of course.
Can I get two Martinis
and another scotch, please?
Oh, what are these?
I thought you were
a nature photographer.
Yeah, no, those are nothing.
- No, they are not nothing.
- These are fantastic.
I mean, are you serious?
This is beautiful.
Yeah, you've heard me talk
about them before actually.
That's Mikey and Stacey.
No, I know, but the
photograph itself is gorgeous.
- Really?
- You think so?
- Yes, I know so.
- I don't know.
It was something new
I was trying last summer.
They're beautiful.
You know, I always thought
I wanted to be a nature
photographer like Bill Ford.
I mean,
it's pretty fucking obvious.
And I... you know,
I had this whole plan
that I'd take
this cross-country drive
and take shots
of the American landscape.
And then I thought,
"Oh, maybe it might be cool
"to take some shots
of the people
and the characters
in those places too, you know?"
Yeah, I like that.
You know, I bet we could pitch
that to the magazine.
- Wait, really?
- You think?
Yeah, and now that
I got your car running,
when we get back from Sweden,
maybe you can take
that road trip,
or maybe we can
take it together.
- Wait a minute.
- You'd wanna do it with me?
- Of course.
- I could even help you organize
the whole thing,
you know, map it out.
It's kind of what I do.
- Oh, it's what you do, huh?
- Can I tell you something?
You're the fucking best.
[soft music]
Thank you.
Oh, my God.
Henry, this night
is already so perfect.
Thank you for all of it.
Well, there's going to be
a lot more of this
in your future.
Hm, well,
I could get used to that.
♪
Happy birthday, darling.
♪
So I told you I had a few
surprises for you tonight,
and here is the first one.
Happy birthday.
Given your Audrey Hepburn
obsession of late,
I figured we could
complete the look.
Are you fucking shitting me?
Although I doubt she has
the mouth you have.
- Oh, my God.
- I think I'm gonna fucking cry.
- No, don't cry.
- Dance with me instead.
Well, you're getting a lot more
than just a dance tonight.
♪
And for my next surprise,
I wanted to tell you
that I love you.
♪
What do you say?
Think we ought
to give 'em a call?
I'll take the skinny one.
Eh, she maybe got
a date already.
[phone ringing]
Hello?
Yeah, give me a minute.
Let me go get her.
Hey, Artie, it's for Maya.
Can you go get her?
Why do I have to go get her?
' Cause I'm watching this.
What if they are up there
doing what I assume
they're up there doing?
You think I wanna see that?
It's National Geographic.
It's important.
Get your ass up.
Jeez, I really
don't wanna do this.
Is Genie home?
Genie's out for the night.
Great.
Jimmy?
Jimmy!
Jimmy!
Did you hear that?
No, I didn't hear anything.
- Clearly, they don't hear me.
- What do you want me to do?
Go knock on the door.
I'm not knocking
on the freaking door.
Why don't you go up there
and knock on the door?
- Coward.
- Jimmy!
Okay, that I heard.
Yeah, what is it?
It's a phone call!
It's National Geographic
for Maya!
What?
- Maya's got a phone call!
- National Geographic!
- Oh, shit.
- Yeah, be right down!
Was that so hard?
You don't think
I wanna get married?
I wanna get married.
Everybody drives me crazy.
Now, I don't wanna wreck
your Saturday night for you.
You wanna go somewhere?
You go ahead.
I don't wanna go.
So I think I definitely
owe you an apology
for completely fucking up
your audition last week.
Oh, you mean when you called me
to the front of the stage
in front of everybody
just to hit on me?
- I wasn't hitting on you.
- Oh, no?
Nah, I just wanted to say hello.
Huh.
I've actually been hit
on hundreds of times,
so I think I know
when a guy is hitting on me.
- I wasn't hitting on you.
- No?
At that point,
I just wanted to say hello.
When you bumped into me in the
lobby, all right, then yeah.
I might have been
hitting on you.
Right, well, your pickup game
is as bad as your directing
skills apparently.
Ow.
Um, this is me.
Hey, think I can finally
get your number
so I can personally ask you out
so I don't have to go
through Patrick?
- You want my number?
- Yeah.
I thought you were
gonna ask to come up.
Well, I mean
if that's an option.
No, it's not.
Okay.
And I'm not gonna give you
my number either,
but if I need to reach you,
I know where to find you.
Okay.
That is unless your show
gets canceled
in the meantime.
Wow, okay.
I'm only fucking around,
but have a good night, Luke.
You too, Stacey.
And get home safe.
Yeah, I gotta go work
on my play, obviously.
- Okay.
- Okay.
Oh, here they come.
We're gonna... we'll take
that in the kitchen
if that's all right.
I'm sorry,
Mr. and Mrs. Farrell.
I hope that's okay.
I gave them this number.
After fixing the car today,
for you, you can do whatever
you want in this house.
I think they already did.
I got it.
Hello?
Yes.
Really?
But I thought we cleared that.
It was in the approved budget.
No, really?
Are you sure?
Oh, shit.
Yeah, well,
I guess I have to, right?
Okay, bye.
Fuck.
You're not gonna believe this.
Hey, what's going on?
They've cut the budget by
a pretty considerable amount.
You know, they're finally tired
of Mr. Ford's
more outrageous demands.
Yeah, so what does that mean?
It means that they've had
to make some cuts
to the crew and...
Wait, don't tell me
we're not going.
Not we.
You.
May I introduce a bottle
of 1958 Chateau Margaux.
I picked the vintage
for the obvious reason.
This is too much.
You really didn't have
to do all of this.
Yes, I did.
And I'll explain why when
I reveal my final surprise.
So I guess the easiest way
to do this
is to come out and say it.
I've decided to leave my wife.
What?
Yes, it's something I've been
thinking about for years.
And now with the way
I feel about you,
I just can't go on lying
to her, living that charade.
Okay, so what does one do
in that situation?
Okay, what do you mean?
What does one do
in that situation?
For starters, I think
we could get a place together.
- Really?
- Like, move in together.
Yes, I think it makes
perfect sense, don't you?
Unless you like living at home
with your mother.
No, I don't, but...
I don't really know
how to say this to you.
But I don't know
that I'm really ready
for a step like that.
And I don't wanna get
in the way of your marriage.
Okay, we're a little late
for that, darling.
Yeah, but still,
I just don't see us like that,
like a couple
who would move in together.
It's... you know, it's a little
serious, don't you think?
Okay, well, take a look
at this room,
take a look at the roses,
take a look at the necklace
I've just bought you.
How much more serious
do I need to be?
What is this to you then?
Is this a casual fling,
a frivolous dalliance?
Kind of.
I mean, no, it's just I kind
of saw us, like, you know,
one of those couples
in the movies.
Like, "Breakfast at Tiffany's."
I'm Holly Go lightly,
the young party girl,
and you, you're...
I'm the richer older man.
I'm really sorry.
I just thought
we were having a good time.
Yes, we were up until
this moment right here and now.
[Bonnie Tyler's
"It's a Heartache"]
♪ It's a heartache,
nothing but a heartache ♪
Baby, look at me.
♪ Hits you
when it's too late ♪
We have to get used
to this, right?
This is the life
that we chose in this business.
And if we can't
get used to it now,
then how will we be able
to do it in the future
when we're old and miserable
and tired of having sex
with one another, right?
♪ Feeling like a clown
Not a chance.
♪ It's a heartache
♪ Nothing but a heartache
♪ Love him
till your arms break ♪
I'm really sorry about all this.
Just get out.
♪ It ain't right
with love to share ♪
♪ When you find
he doesn't care for you ♪
♪
♪ It ain't wise
to need someone ♪
♪ As much
as I depended on you ♪
♪
♪ Oh, it's a heartache
♪ Nothing but a heartache
♪ Hits you
when it's too late ♪
♪ Hits you when you're down
♪ It's a fool's game
♪ Nothing but a fool's game
♪ Standing in the cold rain
You know I love you, right?
Yeah. I love you, too.
♪
I'm gonna write you
every single day.
I promise.
It's gonna be okay.
You better.
I will.
All right, I should
probably let you go,
or you're gonna miss
your flight.
♪ He doesn't care for you
♪
I'll be waiting right here.
♪
[upbeat rock music]
♪
[engine rumbles]
I needed to be with someone
who has the same dreams as me.
- You found someone new.
- You kicked me to the curb.
She and I are flying back out
with National Geographic
at the end of that week.
Next week?
Well, what am I gonna do
with the Cougar, huh?
What am I gonna do
with the Cougar?
You think about that at all?
What are you doing?
I'm proposing.
I'm just not in love
with you anymore, Mikey.
Stacey Ross.
You recognize me?
- I'm sorry.
- I don't remember.
It's good to see you again,
even if you didn't
like my dancing.
Yeah, of course, I'd be here.
I live here.
And it's my name on the lease.
Your father's name,
don't you mean?
Same difference.
Oh, what the hell?
Throw down my keys!
Yeah, once he gets in a cab,
I'll throw 'em down.
I'll gladly get a cab
if it means
I don't have to listen
to any more of her bullshit!
So, Jimmy Boy,
you must be excited.
I mean, tomorrow's
the big day, right?
Yeah, she's flying
in around noon, meet the folks,
have dinner,
then it's bon voyage
in the a.m.
Some fucking friend you are,
leaving me alone
for three months
with this sad sack to deal with.
You know, I'm glad
you guys think
my heartbreak is funny, okay?
But it's not.
This shit fucking hurts, dude.
No, nobody finds
anything funny, okay?
We understand.
It just... it's still weird
seeing you
of all people like this.
You know, the big stud
with all the muscles now
moping around in this old robe
and tears in his eyes all day,
every day.
It's unexpected.
And sad but not in, you know,
a kind of endearing way,
more like a pathetic
kind of way.
Oh, yeah, well,
I don't give a shit, okay?
Because look at me.
You see this?
This is what
a heartache looks like.
Oh, well, we see
that very clearly, Mikey.
It's very apparent.
"It's A Heartache."
That's a good song
by the way, right?
Bonnie Tyler.
It's gotta be one of the best
breakup songs of all time.
Well, I don't know
if I'd go that far.
I reserve that slot
for "Babe" by Styx.
Oh, that's a big
fucking surprise there.
Okay, all right,
I'll let you have that
'cause I know they hold
a special place in your heart.
But come on, Pags.
All-time greatest?
- All right, fine.
- Hall & Oates, "She's Gone."
- Okay, now that's an answer.
- I can top it though.
Carol King.
"It's Too Late."
"Tracks of My Tears."
Smokey Robinson
and The Miracles.
- Janice Joplin.
- "Piece of my Heart."
- "Jolene."
- Dolly Parton.
"Angie" by the Stones.
Al Green, "How Can
You Mend a Broken Heart."
- Fuck you.
- That's a good one.
"I Heard It
Through The Grapevine."
The Marvin Gaye version
and the CCR version, two.
- "If I Can't Have You."
- Yvonne Elliman.
Damn, that's another good one.
It's 'cause I know my shit.
- "Don't Go Breaking My Heart."
- Elton John and Kiki Dee.
- "Ain't No Sunshine."
- Bill motherfucking Withers.
Shit, you're
fucking good at this.
Hey, they don't call me the
music man for nothing, do they?
Who the fuck calls you
the music man?
You know, I'm glad you guys are
having a laugh at my expense,
but if you're gonna be talking
about breakup songs,
how do you leave out
"I Will Survive," huh?
By Gloria Gaynor.
You know, Mikey, you're right.
At first, I was afraid.
♪ I was petrified
♪ Kept thinking I could never
live without you by my side ♪
♪ But then I spent
so many nights ♪
♪ Thinking how
you did me wrong, Tammy ♪
♪ And I grew strong
both: ♪ And I learned how
to get along ♪
- ♪ And so you're back.
- ♪ Ba-ba-na-na
- ♪ From outer space.
- ♪ Da-da-na-na
♪ I just walked in
to find you here ♪
♪ With that sad
look upon your face ♪
♪ I should have changed
that stupid lock ♪
♪ I should have made you
leave your key ♪
♪ If I had known
for just one second ♪
both:
♪ You'd be back to bother me
- ♪ Go on now, go.
- ♪ Ba-ba-da-ba
- ♪ Walk out the door.
- ♪ Ba-ba-da-ba
♪ Just turn around now
both: ♪ 'Cause you're not
welcome anymore ♪
♪ Weren't you the one who tried
to hurt me with goodbye ♪
♪ And you think I'd crumble?
♪ Do you think
I'd lay down and die? ♪
Both: ♪ Oh no, not I,
I will survive ♪
♪ I'm Mikey Diaz
both: ♪ For as long as I know
how to love ♪
♪ I know I'll stay alive
♪ 'Cause I've got
all my life to live ♪
♪ And I've got all my love
to give, I'll survive ♪
You'll survive, Mikey!
♪ I will survive
- You're gonna survive, baby!
- ♪ Hey, hey
Fuck you guys.
Both: ♪ Ba-da-ba-ba
- Hey, where are you going?
- Mikey!
Both:
♪ Ba-da-da-ba-da-da-ba-da-da
♪ Ba-da-do-do-do-do-do-do-do
- ♪ Ba-da.
- ♪ Do
Are you freaking kidding me?
Do you have any idea
what time it is?
Do you have any idea
what day it is?
It's my birthday.
I'm allowed to sleep in.
Really?
Well, then what was
your excuse for yesterday,
and the day before that,
and the day before that?
- Oh, wait, what was that, Ma?
- 'Cause it's my birthday.
You're not gonna be a huge pain
in the ass today.
Oh, wow.
That's so sweet of you.
Well, then tell me this.
How come you never have
to go to work anymore?
Did you get fired again?
I told you I'm freelance.
You deaf?
You know what that means?
It means when they call,
I go to work.
If they don't call,
I don't go to work.
It's pretty freaking simple.
Okay, it's pretty
freaking simple.
All right, well, what's simple
is you should just get
a full-time job.
If you had a full-time job,
then I wouldn't find you here
dressed in your outfit
from the night before.
And you couldn't even
take your freaking shoes off?
Please just go away!
I'm gonna make some coffee.
- Thank you.
- Welcome.
Dad, can I get a refill?
A refill, of course,
for my favorite child.
- Okay.
- Oh, favorite.
- There you go.
- Oh.
- Okay, Dad, come on.
- Did you see this?
I didn't realize that
your brother moved back
into the house.
- You still live here, huh?
- Come on.
When are you gonna
talk to me again?
When am I gonna talk
to you again?
I don't know if I'm ever gonna
talk to you again.
A kid who keeps secrets.
Why I would ever talk to you?
I'm not keeping se... I'm
trying to protect you
'cause you're
a little sensitive.
Sensitive, sensitive?
I think you have me confused
with somebody else, pal.
- Can I have some coffee?
- Oh, yeah, sure, coffee?
Coming right up.
There you go.
Oh, thank you.
Okay, are you gonna be cool
when Maya gets here?
Remember, she's staying
with us tonight
before we take off
to Sweden tomorrow.
Not only is he gonna be cool,
he's gonna be
on his best behavior,
which means no sulking.
- Sulking?
- Since when do I sulk?
Dad, you're sulking right now.
Go look in the mirror.
You know, I don't have time
to look in the mirror
because I have work to do
on that beautiful car
out in the driveway,
which is what I'm gonna do
right now.
Did he just call
that car beautiful?
Can you at least
bring the coffee back?
You know, I was thinking.
Oh, boy, I hope
you didn't hurt yourself.
- Very funny.
- You know that game,
Guess Who I Am.
I wanna play that with you,
and I want you
to tell me who I sound like.
Are you fucking kidding me?
I used to dream
of working in fashion,
but now I haven't had
a real job in six months.
I also used to live in the city
but recently moved back
into my childhood bedroom
to schnorr of my mother.
And the topping on the cake...
I think you mean the icing
on the cake or to top it off,
but go ahead.
The topping on the cake
is I no longer talk
to my lifelong best friend
because I'd let some guy get in
the middle of our friendship.
Who am I?
Have you been up
all morning coming up
with this stupid little routine?
Sitting out here
rehearsing your lines?
'Cause that's fucking sad, Ma.
You need to figure out what
you're gonna do with your life.
- My life is fine.
- Leave me alone.
No, your life is not fine.
You think being a party girl
is a fine life?
Party girl. What the hell
are you talking about?
A fine life is a life
where you're working
on Seventh Avenue,
not mooching off your mother.
A life where you're living
in the city, not here with me.
A life where your boyfriend
is a nice guy,
maybe like Jimmy
and not some older married man.
- Wait, you like Jimmy now?
- That's fucking new.
And I told you,
that guy is not my boyfriend.
- Oh, yeah.
- Well, what is he then?
I don't know, just a guy.
A guy to have a good time with.
Why do you even fucking care?
Because that's all you seem
to wanna do these days,
have a good time.
Well, I don't need to tell you
where that's gonna wind up.
Yeah, well you seem to think
this is all by choice, Ma.
And I gotta tell you
it's fucking not.
But thanks
for rubbing my nose in it.
[car honks]
That's my cab.
Have a great day.
Jill.
[10cc's
"The Things We Do For Love"]
♪ Too many broken hearts
have fallen in the river ♪
Train station, thanks.
♪ Have drifted out to sea
♪ You lay your bets
and then you pay the price ♪
♪ The things we do for love
all:
♪ The things we do for love
♪
♪ Communication is the
problem to the answer ♪
♪ You've got her number and
your hand is on the phone ♪
♪ The weather's turned,
and all the lines are down ♪
♪ The things we do for love
all:
♪ The things we do for love
♪ Like walking in the rain
♪ And the snow
when there's nowhere to go ♪
♪ And you're feelin' like
a part of you is dying ♪
- Hi.
- There's my girl.
♪ And you're looking
for the answer in her eyes ♪
♪ You think
you're gonna break up ♪
♪ Then she says
she wants to make up ♪
- I can't believe you're here.
- I missed you.
Oh, my God.
Hey, thank you.
Okay, let me get you inside.
So, Maya,
what is it that you do?
You a photographer, too?
No, I work
for the magazine actually.
For all the shoots
I'm assigned to,
I do all the tedious stuff,
like, coordinating travel,
visas, accommodations,
stuff like that.
Yeah, like our Sweden trip
has been
a fucking logistical nightmare.
She's had to redo the schedule
and budget
like 20 different times.
Yeah, and like Jimmy,
I only got to go home
for a few days to see my folks.
Where is home again?
- California, up near Big Sur.
- Northern California.
My parents moved
out there in the '60s
trying to escape the rat race.
Get this.
They lived in a house
with no electricity
till she was in high school.
Yeah, I told them that
if I had any chance of
getting into a decent college,
I would need to be able
to study at night
and not by candlelight.
And this house her father built,
it was basically a log cabin,
so you can see why
roughing out in Alaska
was no big deal for her.
- Wait, I'm sorry.
- Your father built your house?
Yeah, he's
a real Mr. Fix It.
You know, he can build
anything, fix anything.
Oh, it's a shame that
he's not here to help Artie
with that piece of crap
right behind you.
Right, honey?
Don't mock the old man.
I'll get it started soon enough,
even if it's without
this one's help.
Oh, the asshole who took me
out of the routine to hit on me
and then completely
threw off my rhythm?
Yeah, he should feel bad.
And no, I don't wanna
go out with him.
All right.
Look, I gotta go.
But yeah, we're still on
for tonight, okay?
I'll see you at El Faro.
Don't mind me.
I'm just getting some
of my things.
Look, Jill, I just wanna say
I'm sorry
for the other night, okay?
It was really late,
and I was tired,
and I know
I was being obnoxious,
but the last thing I wanted
was for you to move out.
Yeah, I didn't
wanna move out either.
I've been fucking living
with my mom for a whole week,
and I wanna kill her.
Okay, so then just
move back in here.
I would, but are you gonna be
cool with Henry coming here?
Stace, he's a really good guy.
He's really good to me.
Yeah, I bet he is,
but he's still married, Jill.
I think I'm just gonna
come back, like,
next week and get the rest
of my stuff if that's okay.
And by the way, I hope you
have a really nice birthday.
It is today, right?
It is today.
Well, at least I didn't
forget it this time.
Yeah, I agree.
All right.
Excuse me,
but what exactly are you doing?
- Hey, Mr. Farrell.
- Do me a favor.
Try and turn it over, will you?
Try and turn it over?
Yeah, if you don't mind.
All right.
You ready?
- Okay.
- Turn it over again.
[engine grinding]
Okay, try it now.
You almost got it.
Okay, now give it some gas.
[engine turning over]
- [laughs]
- I don't fucking believe it.
Are you kidding me?
What did you do?
- It was pretty simple.
- You weren't getting any spark.
Your coil wire is broken.
So I just did a temp job on it
with some electrical tape.
- Holy shit.
- You got it started.
I had nothing to do with it.
It was all this
young lady right here.
Why didn't he tell me she knew
a thing or two about cars?
'Cause I had no idea.
I take after my dad
in that respect.
If it's got an engine,
I can fix it.
Mazel tov, you got it running.
That means you can get it
the hell out of my driveway.
James, pay no attention
to your mother.
What that actually means
is tomorrow,
you and I can get started
on the bodywork.
And you, thank you.
James, you got a keeper.
[soft music]
- Hi.
- Thank you.
♪
Hello, birthday girl.
You scared me.
You look stunning.
- Hi.
- Hi.
This place is
really fucking cool.
- I want the best for you.
- Our table awaits.
♪
Stacey, over here, girl.
Sorry I'm late, boo.
Had the fucking
craziest day today.
Oh, don't worry about it.
It's given me plenty of time
to scope out the crowd,
and you're never gonna believe
who's here.
Are you fucking kidding me,
Patrick?
- Oh, come on.
- Just let me invite him over.
He's asked me about you every
day since we started rehearsal.
Yeah, well if he's
so interested in me,
maybe he should have
given me a part in the show.
Well, to be perfectly honest,
you should consider
yourself lucky.
The show sucks,
but he's a good guy.
Come on.
Let me just invite him over.
Okay, okay.
[upbeat music]
- He's coming. Be nice.
- I'm always nice.
I'm always nice, okay?
- Okay, darling.
- All right.
- Patrick.
- Stacey.
Nice surprise running
into you guys here.
Yeah, real surprise.
All right, I may have
put Patrick up to this.
So how are you?
- I'm good.
- Yeah?
Yeah, and you?
Patrick was telling me
that the show is really
gonna be something special.
- Oh, yeah?
- I think he's been lying to you.
The show is fucking awful.
Maybe the direction's lacking?
Yeah, that could have
something to do with it.
I mean... but he does have
an eye for talent, I must say.
- You think?
- Yeah.
I would strongly disagree.
Well, maybe it's not too late
to make up for that mistake.
And go down
with the sinking ship?
I don't think so.
Well, I assume
that Patrick's told you
I've been pestering him
for your number.
Yeah, I don't really shit
where I eat.
You know what I'm saying?
No, can't say I do.
She doesn't go out
with guys she works with.
Or that I may potentially
work with for that matter.
Okay, what if I promise
never to hire you
for one
of my shitty-ass shows, hm?
Would you consider going
on a date with me then?
You might wanna take him up
on that, Stacey.
As we were just discussing,
once the show flops,
he's not gonna get
hired again anytime soon.
How about this?
Before you make any decision,
you let me sit down
with you both
and buy you another round.
Your call, Stace.
Well, I am broke,
and I would love
another Martini, so yeah.
Okay, sure.
- You too?
- Yeah, of course.
Can I get two Martinis
and another scotch, please?
Oh, what are these?
I thought you were
a nature photographer.
Yeah, no, those are nothing.
- No, they are not nothing.
- These are fantastic.
I mean, are you serious?
This is beautiful.
Yeah, you've heard me talk
about them before actually.
That's Mikey and Stacey.
No, I know, but the
photograph itself is gorgeous.
- Really?
- You think so?
- Yes, I know so.
- I don't know.
It was something new
I was trying last summer.
They're beautiful.
You know, I always thought
I wanted to be a nature
photographer like Bill Ford.
I mean,
it's pretty fucking obvious.
And I... you know,
I had this whole plan
that I'd take
this cross-country drive
and take shots
of the American landscape.
And then I thought,
"Oh, maybe it might be cool
"to take some shots
of the people
and the characters
in those places too, you know?"
Yeah, I like that.
You know, I bet we could pitch
that to the magazine.
- Wait, really?
- You think?
Yeah, and now that
I got your car running,
when we get back from Sweden,
maybe you can take
that road trip,
or maybe we can
take it together.
- Wait a minute.
- You'd wanna do it with me?
- Of course.
- I could even help you organize
the whole thing,
you know, map it out.
It's kind of what I do.
- Oh, it's what you do, huh?
- Can I tell you something?
You're the fucking best.
[soft music]
Thank you.
Oh, my God.
Henry, this night
is already so perfect.
Thank you for all of it.
Well, there's going to be
a lot more of this
in your future.
Hm, well,
I could get used to that.
♪
Happy birthday, darling.
♪
So I told you I had a few
surprises for you tonight,
and here is the first one.
Happy birthday.
Given your Audrey Hepburn
obsession of late,
I figured we could
complete the look.
Are you fucking shitting me?
Although I doubt she has
the mouth you have.
- Oh, my God.
- I think I'm gonna fucking cry.
- No, don't cry.
- Dance with me instead.
Well, you're getting a lot more
than just a dance tonight.
♪
And for my next surprise,
I wanted to tell you
that I love you.
♪
What do you say?
Think we ought
to give 'em a call?
I'll take the skinny one.
Eh, she maybe got
a date already.
[phone ringing]
Hello?
Yeah, give me a minute.
Let me go get her.
Hey, Artie, it's for Maya.
Can you go get her?
Why do I have to go get her?
' Cause I'm watching this.
What if they are up there
doing what I assume
they're up there doing?
You think I wanna see that?
It's National Geographic.
It's important.
Get your ass up.
Jeez, I really
don't wanna do this.
Is Genie home?
Genie's out for the night.
Great.
Jimmy?
Jimmy!
Jimmy!
Did you hear that?
No, I didn't hear anything.
- Clearly, they don't hear me.
- What do you want me to do?
Go knock on the door.
I'm not knocking
on the freaking door.
Why don't you go up there
and knock on the door?
- Coward.
- Jimmy!
Okay, that I heard.
Yeah, what is it?
It's a phone call!
It's National Geographic
for Maya!
What?
- Maya's got a phone call!
- National Geographic!
- Oh, shit.
- Yeah, be right down!
Was that so hard?
You don't think
I wanna get married?
I wanna get married.
Everybody drives me crazy.
Now, I don't wanna wreck
your Saturday night for you.
You wanna go somewhere?
You go ahead.
I don't wanna go.
So I think I definitely
owe you an apology
for completely fucking up
your audition last week.
Oh, you mean when you called me
to the front of the stage
in front of everybody
just to hit on me?
- I wasn't hitting on you.
- Oh, no?
Nah, I just wanted to say hello.
Huh.
I've actually been hit
on hundreds of times,
so I think I know
when a guy is hitting on me.
- I wasn't hitting on you.
- No?
At that point,
I just wanted to say hello.
When you bumped into me in the
lobby, all right, then yeah.
I might have been
hitting on you.
Right, well, your pickup game
is as bad as your directing
skills apparently.
Ow.
Um, this is me.
Hey, think I can finally
get your number
so I can personally ask you out
so I don't have to go
through Patrick?
- You want my number?
- Yeah.
I thought you were
gonna ask to come up.
Well, I mean
if that's an option.
No, it's not.
Okay.
And I'm not gonna give you
my number either,
but if I need to reach you,
I know where to find you.
Okay.
That is unless your show
gets canceled
in the meantime.
Wow, okay.
I'm only fucking around,
but have a good night, Luke.
You too, Stacey.
And get home safe.
Yeah, I gotta go work
on my play, obviously.
- Okay.
- Okay.
Oh, here they come.
We're gonna... we'll take
that in the kitchen
if that's all right.
I'm sorry,
Mr. and Mrs. Farrell.
I hope that's okay.
I gave them this number.
After fixing the car today,
for you, you can do whatever
you want in this house.
I think they already did.
I got it.
Hello?
Yes.
Really?
But I thought we cleared that.
It was in the approved budget.
No, really?
Are you sure?
Oh, shit.
Yeah, well,
I guess I have to, right?
Okay, bye.
Fuck.
You're not gonna believe this.
Hey, what's going on?
They've cut the budget by
a pretty considerable amount.
You know, they're finally tired
of Mr. Ford's
more outrageous demands.
Yeah, so what does that mean?
It means that they've had
to make some cuts
to the crew and...
Wait, don't tell me
we're not going.
Not we.
You.
May I introduce a bottle
of 1958 Chateau Margaux.
I picked the vintage
for the obvious reason.
This is too much.
You really didn't have
to do all of this.
Yes, I did.
And I'll explain why when
I reveal my final surprise.
So I guess the easiest way
to do this
is to come out and say it.
I've decided to leave my wife.
What?
Yes, it's something I've been
thinking about for years.
And now with the way
I feel about you,
I just can't go on lying
to her, living that charade.
Okay, so what does one do
in that situation?
Okay, what do you mean?
What does one do
in that situation?
For starters, I think
we could get a place together.
- Really?
- Like, move in together.
Yes, I think it makes
perfect sense, don't you?
Unless you like living at home
with your mother.
No, I don't, but...
I don't really know
how to say this to you.
But I don't know
that I'm really ready
for a step like that.
And I don't wanna get
in the way of your marriage.
Okay, we're a little late
for that, darling.
Yeah, but still,
I just don't see us like that,
like a couple
who would move in together.
It's... you know, it's a little
serious, don't you think?
Okay, well, take a look
at this room,
take a look at the roses,
take a look at the necklace
I've just bought you.
How much more serious
do I need to be?
What is this to you then?
Is this a casual fling,
a frivolous dalliance?
Kind of.
I mean, no, it's just I kind
of saw us, like, you know,
one of those couples
in the movies.
Like, "Breakfast at Tiffany's."
I'm Holly Go lightly,
the young party girl,
and you, you're...
I'm the richer older man.
I'm really sorry.
I just thought
we were having a good time.
Yes, we were up until
this moment right here and now.
[Bonnie Tyler's
"It's a Heartache"]
♪ It's a heartache,
nothing but a heartache ♪
Baby, look at me.
♪ Hits you
when it's too late ♪
We have to get used
to this, right?
This is the life
that we chose in this business.
And if we can't
get used to it now,
then how will we be able
to do it in the future
when we're old and miserable
and tired of having sex
with one another, right?
♪ Feeling like a clown
Not a chance.
♪ It's a heartache
♪ Nothing but a heartache
♪ Love him
till your arms break ♪
I'm really sorry about all this.
Just get out.
♪ It ain't right
with love to share ♪
♪ When you find
he doesn't care for you ♪
♪
♪ It ain't wise
to need someone ♪
♪ As much
as I depended on you ♪
♪
♪ Oh, it's a heartache
♪ Nothing but a heartache
♪ Hits you
when it's too late ♪
♪ Hits you when you're down
♪ It's a fool's game
♪ Nothing but a fool's game
♪ Standing in the cold rain
You know I love you, right?
Yeah. I love you, too.
♪
I'm gonna write you
every single day.
I promise.
It's gonna be okay.
You better.
I will.
All right, I should
probably let you go,
or you're gonna miss
your flight.
♪ He doesn't care for you
♪
I'll be waiting right here.
♪
[upbeat rock music]
♪
[engine rumbles]