Bridge and Tunnel (2021–…): Season 2, Episode 2 - Breaking Up Is Hard To Do - full transcript
Previously, on
"Bridge and Tunnel"...
There he is.
- That Maya, by chance?
- Yeah.
Man, I can't wait
for you guys to meet her.
You're gonna love her.
She's the best.
- Stacey, you remember Henry?
- Oh, yeah.
You woke me up
at 4:00 in the morning.
How could I forget?
Don't you think he's
a little too old
for you and a little too slick,
and a little too fancy?
Yeah, but he's also worldly,
sophisticated,
charming,
and really fucking rich.
- Yeah, you left out "married."
- Well, nobody's perfect.
Okay, well, can you go on
without a drummer?
We're a goddamn
punk rock band,
and we can't be
fucking punk rock
if we don't have
a goddamn drummer!
Why don't you ask Tammy
to fill in?
That's true, you were
in band in high school.
Ha-ha.
Not funny.
Mm.
Stace, what the fuck?
I assume that's
for my benefit.
Stacey!
What the hell, Jill?
I have a big audition
later today.
I don't give a shit.
I have to sleep.
Yeah, that's why
I waited till 11:00,
so the fucking two
of you guys could sleep,
but now I have to work
on my routine.
And here I was thinking
living with my best friend
would be a good fucking idea.
I'm gonna fucking kill her.
So, when does the new love
get here?
She flies in next week.
You seem worried.
You afraid to introduce her
to your crazy family,
afraid that she's
gonna turn around
and jump right back
on a plane out of here?
No, it's not that.
It's...
Promise me you won't say
anything to Mom and Dad yet.
Oh, sure.
I promise.
She and I are flying back out
with National Geographic
at the end of that week.
What?
Are you shitting me?
For how long?
About three months.
Oh, fuck you, Jimmy.
You can't do that to me.
- I can't be alone with them...
- Keep your voice down.
- For the whole summer.
- Keep your voice down.
No, I will not keep
my voice down!
I'm fucking pissed at you.
You know how much that sucks?
That really sucks.
Mom and Dad for a whole
summer alone, thanks a lot.
Thanks a lot.
Oh, God.
And you know Dad's gonna
be devastated, too.
You know that, right?
He's going to be totally PO'ed.
Yeah, but just... okay, you're
not gonna say anything to him,
and I'll tell him
when the time is right.
Good, good.
When is that gonna be?
On your way
to the fucking airport?
Fuck, Jimmy.
Well, you should
at least tell Mom.
She'll know best
how to break it to him.
- Oh, I've already heard.
- Jesus.
You know,
thanks a lot, Genie.
- Thanks.
- Can you believe that he's
gonna be gone the whole
freaking summer?
I mean, Dad is gonna have
a coronary
when he hears this news.
Which is why you're gonna
tell him James, not me.
Michael.
Michael.
- What?
- Michael.
Just the man
I was looking for.
Do you know what day it is?
I don't know. Sunday?
Today is your
one year anniversary.
Don't you remember?
It was a year ago today
you told me you were
gonna piss away
your college education
and do whatever the hell
it is you do out there
in that garage.
Mom, you know what I do.
Okay, I paint.
Every single day
I'm back there painting.
Yeah, and you asked
your father and I to give you
one year to pursue
that pipe dream.
But guess what?
Today, that year is up.
So I'm gonna need you
to get your suit pressed
and your shoes shined,
and get your ass into the city
to find a real job.
Or else I'm gonna need you
to find someplace else to live.
Oh, come on, Mom. Really?
Look, I already told you this,
what, like a thousand times.
I don't want
to be an accountant.
Okay?
I'm gonna be an artist.
- Victor...
- But in the meantime...
- He said it again.
- I just got to figure it out.
Can you please come out here
and talk some sense to him?
Because if he keeps going on
about this artist nonsense,
I'm gonna lose my mind.
Remember, we didn't send you
to college to be an artist.
We sent you so you could get
an education and a real job.
Okay, so... so what do
you want me to do, huh?
You want me to just
give up on my dream?
Is that... is that what you want?
Yes, exactly.
And you know what else?
Maybe you should come to mass
with your father and I.
Pray for forgiveness
for causing your parents
such heartache.
Pray to Jesus to get you back
on the right path again.
Mom, Jesus doesn't care
whether or not
I'm a painter or an artist
or an accountant or...
Maybe he doesn't, but we do.
And we own this house.
Whatever.
My head is in fucking pieces.
Ooh, is that tea?
Oh, we drink tea now?
No.
It's fucking coffee.
Rough night?
No.
Great night.
Rough morning, thanks to you.
What's this big audition
you got anyhow?
Oh, it's actually
for an off-Broadway musical.
But it's not just
for the ensemble.
It's for one of the leads,
so it's kind of a big deal,
and that's why I needed
to work on it this morning.
Not that you would care.
Mm-hmm.
What?
Aw.
Hey, break a leg.
Yeah, thanks.
Feel better.
Okay, so this is what
I'm thinking, right.
I don't want to get a real job,
which means my parents
are gonna kick my ass
out of the house,
and I can't afford
a place on my own.
So I was thinking
about asking Tammy
if she wanted
to get a place together.
I think that
that is a great idea,
as long as she agrees
to join the band.
Not gonna happen.
That was a one shot deal.
Can we forget about the band
for one second, okay?
Dude, you realize Tammy would
never go for that, right?
Why do you say that?
'Cause she's
a good Catholic girl.
And living with you would be,
like, living in sin.
Besides, even if she wanted to,
her mother would never have it.
She'd sooner
cut your balls off.
If you wanted to move in with
her, you'd have to marry her.
You know,
I have been thinking
about the exact same thing.
- Sorry, what?
- No.
Did you just say... did he just
say what I think he just said?
He did, he said it.
Why is that such a crazy idea?
Huh?
I mean, we've been dating
for what, almost a... a year?
I know my mom keeps
asking me about it,
and her mother keeps
asking her about it.
And I know they both keep
seeing each other at church
and asking each other about it.
So I'm, like,
you know what? It's time.
I love her,
I'm making Mama proud
and I'm feeling good,
so why not?
Well, that's great that
your mothers are discussing it,
but have you actually talked
to Tammy about this?
Yes, I have, Pags,
actually a bunch of times.
And I know we've said,
you know,
maybe we'd do it after
she gets her MBA and stuff.
But now I'm thinking that
if I ask her to marry me now,
she'll move in with me
if we're engaged.
Well, I think that's still
classifies as living in sin,
my friend.
Yeah, I don't think there's
an amendment to the rule.
I also don't think
that this is the way
that you should be talking
about the rest
of your fucking life.
Look, if you really get kicked
out, you can move in with me,
but marriage,
it's a big deal, all right?
Needs to be taken seriously.
Plus, you know,
there's the band to consider.
Pags, I already told you,
dude,
I'm not coming at
this lightly.
And besides, maybe my mom
kicking me out is a sign
that now is the time
for me to do it.
You know what, my man?
If that's the way you feel
about it, sláinte.
See?
That's my boy.
Great.
So you're going away in a week.
Now he's getting married.
Wanna tell me who I'm supposed
to hang out with.
All right.
Cue music.
I want high energy,
clean lines.
Remember your spacing for me.
All right.
Get ready.
Here we go.
Five, six, seven, eight.
Nice.
Seven and eight.
And clean, sharp.
Smooth it out.
Nice.
Get your leg up, yellow shirt.
Okay.
Nice transition.
And reach.
Thank you.
Nice.
Thanks, everybody.
Okay, uh,
Patrick, Stacey, Chris, Aubrey,
and Alexia,
you guys stick around.
The rest of you,
thank you very much.
Hey, gorgeous.
Remember me?
Oh, my God, of course.
Patrick, how are you?
Well,
unlike someone else I know,
I never stopped
busting my ass at this.
Whereas you have
been doing what?
Living the high life
and partying like a rock star,
I assume, because the last
time I saw you,
you were a fucking mess.
Who, me?
- No, never.
- Yes. Yes, you girl.
Falling down drunk
outside of some club.
I can't remember where, though.
Do you remember that?
Uh, if you don't
remember it,
how the hell am I supposed
to remember it?
Apparently,
I was the one that was wasted.
Right.
Well, it's good
to see you back at it.
You looked great out there.
Thank you.
Still feeling a bit rusty.
Well, they called your name, right?
- Mm-hmm.
- I know the director has
taken a special interest in you.
He's asked me about you
a couple dozen times.
Really?
What does he wanna know?
Oh, look who's here.
- So you got a plan for tomorrow?
- Are you asking me
if I'm gonna go look
for an accounting job?
- Mm-hmm.
- No.
But I do have
a little favor to ask.
- Oh, you have a favor.
- Yes.
That's rich.
Well, I have a favor for you.
Why don't you take
the laundry upstairs?
Mom, this is serious, okay?
Remember when Baba died,
you said that when it was time
to propose to Tammy
that I could use
her old engagement ring?
Oh my God, are you serious?
When did you
decide to do this?
Well, I don't know.
I've been thinking about it,
you know,
and her and I talked about it.
And I just thought,
if I love her, why wait?
You know, why wait to start
the rest of my life?
So I was thinking about
asking her tonight.
Her mother's
gonna be so happy.
You know,
she calls all the time asking
when are you gonna make an
honest woman of her daughter?
Oh my God, Mikey.
This is such beautiful news.
- What's going on here?
- Your son has just given us
the most wonderful blessing.
- You got a job.
- Even better.
He's gonna ask Tammy
to marry him.
Is this true?
Yeah, Dad.
I love her.
Muchachito, por fin!
Come here big guy.
Can't tell you
how proud I am of you.
Your mother and I have been
praying for this day
since the two
of you started dating.
When do you plan
on asking her?
He's gonna ask her tonight.
And he's gonna
use Abuelita's ring.
Wepa!
You see, Mikey, you just
needed a good kick in the ass.
Something
to motivate you to act,
to take control of your...
Don't start, Victor.
Just go get the ring.
Por fin!
Think he's a little happy?
I can't thank you enough, Matty.
My son has been gone
for a year,
and this is a perfect
little project for us.
So I appreciate it.
I'd say this is more
than a little project.
Good luck with it.
- Thanks again.
- All right, man.
Jimmy!
Grab your camera,
grab your sister,
and your mother
while you're at it.
I got a little surprise
for the family.
All right.
Now, would you please
feast your eyes on that beauty?
Arthur,
what the hell is that?
- Pretty great, right?
- No, not...
Not at all.
Whose is it,
and why is it here?
It's for Jimmy.
I just had to it towed over
from the junkyard.
Oh, really, the junkyard?
I never would have guessed.
And why exactly
would you do that, Arthur?
James, would you please
remind your mother.
Uh, I don't
really know, Dad.
You don't remember?
High school graduation,
what did you want?
You wanted me to get you
an old muscle car
that we could
work on together.
- Right.
- Right?
I mean, come on,
look at this thing.
This is the perfect
summer project for us.
Summer project.
Boy, you're in for it now.
Hey, Jimmy, Jimmy,
get over here.
Do me a favor.
I wanna document
the entire thing, all right?
From today
until we return it
to its former glory.
All right.
You look beautiful
together, Dad.
- Perfect couple.
- Yes, we do.
Arthur, this is the first
and last time
I'm getting in this thing.
Famous last words, Mom.
I don't wanna hear it
outta you two.
This thing is gonna be great.
Tell 'em, James.
Gonna be great, Dad.
So glad I'm not
his favorite.
You don't see the sign?
Thanks.
- Hello.
- Hey.
- Can you talk?
- Yeah. What's up?
I think I have a potentially
huge problem on my hands.
- What kind of problem?
- I think I need a change.
Like... like a big change,
a radical change.
Is this is about Mikey?
I mean,
that's definitely part of it,
but I don't know.
I think it's somehow connected
to playing
with the band last week.
God, I don't know, Jill.
There was just something
about being up
on stage with them
that just brought something
out of me, you know,
something that I've
never felt before.
And it just is making
me rethink everything,
My... like, everything.
My... my clothes,
my God, my hair, my...
My entire life.
I just feel like...
I don't know.
And to make matters worse,
I just heard from Mikey,
and he's got some huge surprise
planned for me tonight,
which is the last thing
I want to hear.
Tam, listen to me.
You've been talking
about breaking up
with him for months now.
What are you waiting for?
I know.
I'm just... I'm scared, I guess.
I've been waiting
for the right moment to do it,
but it's just...
Something always comes up.
It's either his birthday
or my birthday
or our anniversary
or Mother's Day or...
Mother's Day?
That's bullshit.
The two of you
and your mothers,
that shit's gotta stop.
It's hard.
I don't want to hurt him.
What do I do?
You do what I've been telling
you to do for weeks now.
You break up with him.
And you do it sooner
rather than later,
so you can get on
with your life.
Tammy, can I get some help?
All right.
Thanks.
Okay, everybody
who was asked to stay,
please make your way back
to the stage.
Once you find your places,
we're gonna take it
from the top.
Before we get started,
the, uh,
young lady in the back
with the purple stripes.
Uh, Stacey Ross...
Stacey, that's you.
Uh... um, yeah, that's me.
Yeah, would you mind coming
to the front
of the stage for a second?
Stacey.
You recognize me?
Um, no.
Should I?
You used to tend bar
over at Area, right?
Yeah.
I used to go in there
all the time, we would talk.
Uh, I'm sorry,
I don't remember.
You don't...
Not ringing a bell?
I used to...
Shorter hair back then.
Really?
- I'm sorry.
- Okay, well, never mind.
Let's get to it, then.
- I'm sorry.
- No.
Okay, we'll have yellow
shirt move upstage for me.
We'll have Stacey downstage.
Thanks, guys.
All right.
And cue music.
Keep that same energy
as before, guys.
Thanks.
And five, six, seven, eight.
Nice.
Nice.
Cleaner turn, Stacey.
That's it.
Nice.
Smooth it out.
Oh, hey.
Sorry.
- Stacey, right?
- Mm-hmm.
Hey, you were really
good out there today.
Yeah, just not good enough,
apparently.
Only have two leads
in the show,
but, you know, keep at it.
You got a career in this
if you want one.
Okay.
Well, maybe next time.
Hey, look.
You really
don't remember me?
I asked you out a few times.
I mean, obviously,
you always said no, but...
Listen,
when you work in a club,
a lot of guys talk to you
and a lot of guys ask you out.
And it's kind of hard
to remember all those faces,
but, um, I don't know,
it's good to see you again.
Even if you didn't
like my dancing
nearly as much as you,
apparently, like my bar tending.
It's not that.
Just, I think, uh...
Listen, I don't need
the sob story, okay?
I get it.
Good luck.
It's kind of great
how close our mothers are.
- Don't you think?
- Mm.
It's like they're sisters.
They just talk all day,
every single day.
I don't know, I guess.
I mean, sometimes I feel
like they're a little too
interested in our business.
Yeah, but I think of it
as a blessing, you know,
for the future.
Them getting along, you know,
and us being there,
and them being there for us,
and helping us with things.
Oh, yeah, uh,
helping us with things.
What do you... what kind of...
What kind of things
do you think
we'd need help with?
- I mean...
- I don't know, well, you know,
just things that couples plan
for in the future.
Oh, things that couples
plan for in the future.
Hey, do you mind if we just
take a seat real quick?
Yeah.
Yeah, okay.
So...
So your mother didn't
say anything to you
before you met me, right?
No.
Uh, was she supposed to?
No, that's good.
That's good.
I just... I have something
I wanna ask you,
and I want it
to be a surprise.
- A surprise?
- Yes.
Tammy, for about a year...
Uh, Mikey,
what are you doing?
I'm proposing.
- What does it look like?
- I don't think...
I don't think you should
do that right now.
- I don't, um...
- What?
- Why not?
- Because, I don't...
I don't think with us...
I don't think it's...
- I think it's too soon, maybe.
- Too soon?
We've been dating for a year.
We've talked about this.
Our mothers have
talked about this.
Mikey.
Tammy, I... I thought
this was what you wanted.
Tammy?
- Tammy, look at me.
- Look, I'm sorry.
All right, I'm sorry,
I just... I can't.
- Why not?
- Because, Mikey,
I just don't...
I'm...
I'm just not in love
with you anymore, Mikey.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Fuck, man.
What you got there?
Oh-ho, nice.
Some dirty pictures.
Can I see?
No, I'm... they're just some
shots I took from the trip.
Oh, so this
is the new girl?
Hm, let me see what you're
getting yourself into.
Okay, Jimmy,
these are dirty pictures.
Would you...
Just give me that.
Don't worry, Jimmy,
I've seen boobs before,
plenty of them.
Yeah,
but not on my girlfriend.
Are you forgetting
all the times
that I walked in
on you and Jill?
Because I haven't
forgotten that.
Unforgettable.
By the way, was it weird seeing
her at the barbecue last week?
'Cause I have to admit,
I was worried you two would
see one another
and then that would be it.
You'd be back
in the throes again.
Was it weird?
Yeah.
Yeah. But I realized
when I met Maya,
I needed to be with someone
who has the same dreams as me.
You know, who's into
the same stuff I'm into...
The outdoors, nature,
camping, hiking.
So basically someone who was
willing to have sex in a tent.
Hey, listen,
there worst things to be into.
Oh, she sure is a fox.
And she looks sweet.
Sweet fox.
Yeah, she is.
I think you're gonna like her.
Good.
I'm looking forward
to meeting her.
Can I keep this
in the meantime?
Give me that.
So when are you gonna
tell Dad you're leaving?
I assume you haven't
spoken to him yet.
No, not yet.
Well, I'd suggest you might
want to break the news
to him sooner
rather than later.
Like, before Maya gets here.
You don't want her
to see your father cry.
You know what scares me?
That he actually might.
Want me to come along
for moral support?
Definitely not.
Hm, okay.
Hop to it.
♪ Carry on my wayward son
♪ There'll be peace
when you are done ♪
Hey, Dad.
How's it coming along?
Well, we've got our work
cut out for us this summer,
but nothing
the Farrells can't handle.
Yep.
There's something
we need to discuss.
Yeah, what you got, kid?
Well, it's about this girl
I'm seeing now, Maya.
Just wanna make sure you guys
are okay with her staying here.
Yeah, totally.
As long as you're smart
about it.
Remember, the walls
in this house are thin.
Yeah, uh, don't worry,
we'll be good with that.
But, um, something else
we need to discuss.
What's going on?
You look worried sick.
Well,
things went really well with
Bill Ford, like, really well.
He likes me.
He says I'm a real good
addition to the team,
and that's why he invited me
on the trip to the Andes.
Yeah, well,
I would expect nothing less.
And, you know shooting
for National Geographic
has been my dream forever.
Right.
So what is it?
Well, Mr. Ford then invited
me and Maya on his next job,
and I said yes.
And, um,
I won't be around much this
summer to help with the car.
All right.
So let me get this straight.
You said yes
without talking to your mother
and father about it first?
Yeah, I mean, it's a really
good opportunity, right?
Not for nothing,
but I'm 23 now, Dad.
Yeah, I guess you're right.
You are now old enough
to make these kind
of decisions
without consulting
with your parents first.
All right.
So when do you leave?
- Next week.
- Next week?
Get the fuck
out of here, James.
Next week... I get one week
with you this summer?
It was too
good an opportunity.
I... it's my dream.
I had to say yes.
Well, what am I gonna do
with the Cougar, huh?
What am I gonna do
with the Cougar?
You think about that at all?
No.
Of course you didn't
think about that,
because I guess we don't
consult the father
about these things anymore,
do we?
I'll tell you who's gonna be
even more upset than me,
it's your mother.
Actually, she seemed
pretty okay with it
when I told her
and Genie this morning.
Your mother knows
and your sister knows.
Everybody knows but Artie,
is that it?
I'm the schnook
that's left in the dark.
Great.
Thanks a lot, pal.
Thanks a lot.
All right, I'm gonna tell you
how this gonna go.
All right?
I'm gonna go up to the bar
and drown my sorrows.
And you,
you can stay here
and fix the Cougar by yourself.
Oh, by the way, have
a great time with Bill Ford.
You hump.
How'd it go?
Christ,
that was fucking rough.
Yeah, well,
breakups are tough,
even when they're
with your father.
Hey, what do you think?
Gloves or no gloves.
Gloves,
who do you think you are?
Audrey fucking Hepburn?
It was kind of the point.
Hey, I'm coming.
I'll be right down.
Is that Hank?
Yeah.
Who else would it be?
I don't know.
I was kind of hoping
after you saw Jimmy last week,
you'd come to your senses.
What?
No.
And you know,
not that a barbecue
in Long Island isn't
a lot of fun.
Sometimes you got to move on,
hence the gloves.
So why didn't he come up?
Is he afraid of me?
No.
I just figured you would
be here and I wanted
to save him the trouble
of getting
his balls busted by you.
Yeah, of course, I'd be here.
I live here.
And it's my name
on the lease.
Your father's name,
don't you mean?
Same difference.
You know, I hope you know
that he's never gonna
leave his wife
for you, Jill.
I hope you know that.
Yeah, I do.
And that's fine.
That's the point
of this relationship.
I do what I want when I want.
Right.
What about his wife
and his family?
Don't you care about
what you're doing to them?
How do you think
they'd feel about you
doing what you want
when you want it?
That's real fucking rich
coming from you, Stace.
- You have no fucking idea.
- I think I do.
- Oh.
- Have a good fucking night.
Yeah, you too.
By the way,
I didn't get the audition.
Totally fucking blew it,
thanks for asking.
Oh, what the hell?
You gotta be shitting me.
Are you fucking kidding me?
Hey, what the hell's going on?
Stace, I'm sorry.
I left my keys up there, will
you throw them down, please?
Hey, you know it's
5:00 in the morning, right?
Yeah, and what's that got
to do with anything?
Rapunzel, Rapunzel,
throw down my fucking keys.
Not if he's coming up, Jill.
Are you fucking kidding me?
Why are you being like this?
Throw down my keys.
Yeah, once he gets in a cab,
I'll throw 'em down.
Are you fucking serious?
You know what, I don't
need this shit from her.
I'll gladly get a cab
if it means I don't have
to listen to any more
of her bullshit.
Oh, great idea.
See you later, Hank!
You shut the hell up!
You, where the hell
are you gonna go?
- Huh?
- I'll go back to the office.
I'll get cleaned up there.
No one will be in at this hour.
It'll be fine.
Are you going to be okay?
Yeah, I'll be fine.
Be safe.
Thanks.
Hey.
Hey, Jill.
Think fast.
"Bridge and Tunnel"...
There he is.
- That Maya, by chance?
- Yeah.
Man, I can't wait
for you guys to meet her.
You're gonna love her.
She's the best.
- Stacey, you remember Henry?
- Oh, yeah.
You woke me up
at 4:00 in the morning.
How could I forget?
Don't you think he's
a little too old
for you and a little too slick,
and a little too fancy?
Yeah, but he's also worldly,
sophisticated,
charming,
and really fucking rich.
- Yeah, you left out "married."
- Well, nobody's perfect.
Okay, well, can you go on
without a drummer?
We're a goddamn
punk rock band,
and we can't be
fucking punk rock
if we don't have
a goddamn drummer!
Why don't you ask Tammy
to fill in?
That's true, you were
in band in high school.
Ha-ha.
Not funny.
Mm.
Stace, what the fuck?
I assume that's
for my benefit.
Stacey!
What the hell, Jill?
I have a big audition
later today.
I don't give a shit.
I have to sleep.
Yeah, that's why
I waited till 11:00,
so the fucking two
of you guys could sleep,
but now I have to work
on my routine.
And here I was thinking
living with my best friend
would be a good fucking idea.
I'm gonna fucking kill her.
So, when does the new love
get here?
She flies in next week.
You seem worried.
You afraid to introduce her
to your crazy family,
afraid that she's
gonna turn around
and jump right back
on a plane out of here?
No, it's not that.
It's...
Promise me you won't say
anything to Mom and Dad yet.
Oh, sure.
I promise.
She and I are flying back out
with National Geographic
at the end of that week.
What?
Are you shitting me?
For how long?
About three months.
Oh, fuck you, Jimmy.
You can't do that to me.
- I can't be alone with them...
- Keep your voice down.
- For the whole summer.
- Keep your voice down.
No, I will not keep
my voice down!
I'm fucking pissed at you.
You know how much that sucks?
That really sucks.
Mom and Dad for a whole
summer alone, thanks a lot.
Thanks a lot.
Oh, God.
And you know Dad's gonna
be devastated, too.
You know that, right?
He's going to be totally PO'ed.
Yeah, but just... okay, you're
not gonna say anything to him,
and I'll tell him
when the time is right.
Good, good.
When is that gonna be?
On your way
to the fucking airport?
Fuck, Jimmy.
Well, you should
at least tell Mom.
She'll know best
how to break it to him.
- Oh, I've already heard.
- Jesus.
You know,
thanks a lot, Genie.
- Thanks.
- Can you believe that he's
gonna be gone the whole
freaking summer?
I mean, Dad is gonna have
a coronary
when he hears this news.
Which is why you're gonna
tell him James, not me.
Michael.
Michael.
- What?
- Michael.
Just the man
I was looking for.
Do you know what day it is?
I don't know. Sunday?
Today is your
one year anniversary.
Don't you remember?
It was a year ago today
you told me you were
gonna piss away
your college education
and do whatever the hell
it is you do out there
in that garage.
Mom, you know what I do.
Okay, I paint.
Every single day
I'm back there painting.
Yeah, and you asked
your father and I to give you
one year to pursue
that pipe dream.
But guess what?
Today, that year is up.
So I'm gonna need you
to get your suit pressed
and your shoes shined,
and get your ass into the city
to find a real job.
Or else I'm gonna need you
to find someplace else to live.
Oh, come on, Mom. Really?
Look, I already told you this,
what, like a thousand times.
I don't want
to be an accountant.
Okay?
I'm gonna be an artist.
- Victor...
- But in the meantime...
- He said it again.
- I just got to figure it out.
Can you please come out here
and talk some sense to him?
Because if he keeps going on
about this artist nonsense,
I'm gonna lose my mind.
Remember, we didn't send you
to college to be an artist.
We sent you so you could get
an education and a real job.
Okay, so... so what do
you want me to do, huh?
You want me to just
give up on my dream?
Is that... is that what you want?
Yes, exactly.
And you know what else?
Maybe you should come to mass
with your father and I.
Pray for forgiveness
for causing your parents
such heartache.
Pray to Jesus to get you back
on the right path again.
Mom, Jesus doesn't care
whether or not
I'm a painter or an artist
or an accountant or...
Maybe he doesn't, but we do.
And we own this house.
Whatever.
My head is in fucking pieces.
Ooh, is that tea?
Oh, we drink tea now?
No.
It's fucking coffee.
Rough night?
No.
Great night.
Rough morning, thanks to you.
What's this big audition
you got anyhow?
Oh, it's actually
for an off-Broadway musical.
But it's not just
for the ensemble.
It's for one of the leads,
so it's kind of a big deal,
and that's why I needed
to work on it this morning.
Not that you would care.
Mm-hmm.
What?
Aw.
Hey, break a leg.
Yeah, thanks.
Feel better.
Okay, so this is what
I'm thinking, right.
I don't want to get a real job,
which means my parents
are gonna kick my ass
out of the house,
and I can't afford
a place on my own.
So I was thinking
about asking Tammy
if she wanted
to get a place together.
I think that
that is a great idea,
as long as she agrees
to join the band.
Not gonna happen.
That was a one shot deal.
Can we forget about the band
for one second, okay?
Dude, you realize Tammy would
never go for that, right?
Why do you say that?
'Cause she's
a good Catholic girl.
And living with you would be,
like, living in sin.
Besides, even if she wanted to,
her mother would never have it.
She'd sooner
cut your balls off.
If you wanted to move in with
her, you'd have to marry her.
You know,
I have been thinking
about the exact same thing.
- Sorry, what?
- No.
Did you just say... did he just
say what I think he just said?
He did, he said it.
Why is that such a crazy idea?
Huh?
I mean, we've been dating
for what, almost a... a year?
I know my mom keeps
asking me about it,
and her mother keeps
asking her about it.
And I know they both keep
seeing each other at church
and asking each other about it.
So I'm, like,
you know what? It's time.
I love her,
I'm making Mama proud
and I'm feeling good,
so why not?
Well, that's great that
your mothers are discussing it,
but have you actually talked
to Tammy about this?
Yes, I have, Pags,
actually a bunch of times.
And I know we've said,
you know,
maybe we'd do it after
she gets her MBA and stuff.
But now I'm thinking that
if I ask her to marry me now,
she'll move in with me
if we're engaged.
Well, I think that's still
classifies as living in sin,
my friend.
Yeah, I don't think there's
an amendment to the rule.
I also don't think
that this is the way
that you should be talking
about the rest
of your fucking life.
Look, if you really get kicked
out, you can move in with me,
but marriage,
it's a big deal, all right?
Needs to be taken seriously.
Plus, you know,
there's the band to consider.
Pags, I already told you,
dude,
I'm not coming at
this lightly.
And besides, maybe my mom
kicking me out is a sign
that now is the time
for me to do it.
You know what, my man?
If that's the way you feel
about it, sláinte.
See?
That's my boy.
Great.
So you're going away in a week.
Now he's getting married.
Wanna tell me who I'm supposed
to hang out with.
All right.
Cue music.
I want high energy,
clean lines.
Remember your spacing for me.
All right.
Get ready.
Here we go.
Five, six, seven, eight.
Nice.
Seven and eight.
And clean, sharp.
Smooth it out.
Nice.
Get your leg up, yellow shirt.
Okay.
Nice transition.
And reach.
Thank you.
Nice.
Thanks, everybody.
Okay, uh,
Patrick, Stacey, Chris, Aubrey,
and Alexia,
you guys stick around.
The rest of you,
thank you very much.
Hey, gorgeous.
Remember me?
Oh, my God, of course.
Patrick, how are you?
Well,
unlike someone else I know,
I never stopped
busting my ass at this.
Whereas you have
been doing what?
Living the high life
and partying like a rock star,
I assume, because the last
time I saw you,
you were a fucking mess.
Who, me?
- No, never.
- Yes. Yes, you girl.
Falling down drunk
outside of some club.
I can't remember where, though.
Do you remember that?
Uh, if you don't
remember it,
how the hell am I supposed
to remember it?
Apparently,
I was the one that was wasted.
Right.
Well, it's good
to see you back at it.
You looked great out there.
Thank you.
Still feeling a bit rusty.
Well, they called your name, right?
- Mm-hmm.
- I know the director has
taken a special interest in you.
He's asked me about you
a couple dozen times.
Really?
What does he wanna know?
Oh, look who's here.
- So you got a plan for tomorrow?
- Are you asking me
if I'm gonna go look
for an accounting job?
- Mm-hmm.
- No.
But I do have
a little favor to ask.
- Oh, you have a favor.
- Yes.
That's rich.
Well, I have a favor for you.
Why don't you take
the laundry upstairs?
Mom, this is serious, okay?
Remember when Baba died,
you said that when it was time
to propose to Tammy
that I could use
her old engagement ring?
Oh my God, are you serious?
When did you
decide to do this?
Well, I don't know.
I've been thinking about it,
you know,
and her and I talked about it.
And I just thought,
if I love her, why wait?
You know, why wait to start
the rest of my life?
So I was thinking about
asking her tonight.
Her mother's
gonna be so happy.
You know,
she calls all the time asking
when are you gonna make an
honest woman of her daughter?
Oh my God, Mikey.
This is such beautiful news.
- What's going on here?
- Your son has just given us
the most wonderful blessing.
- You got a job.
- Even better.
He's gonna ask Tammy
to marry him.
Is this true?
Yeah, Dad.
I love her.
Muchachito, por fin!
Come here big guy.
Can't tell you
how proud I am of you.
Your mother and I have been
praying for this day
since the two
of you started dating.
When do you plan
on asking her?
He's gonna ask her tonight.
And he's gonna
use Abuelita's ring.
Wepa!
You see, Mikey, you just
needed a good kick in the ass.
Something
to motivate you to act,
to take control of your...
Don't start, Victor.
Just go get the ring.
Por fin!
Think he's a little happy?
I can't thank you enough, Matty.
My son has been gone
for a year,
and this is a perfect
little project for us.
So I appreciate it.
I'd say this is more
than a little project.
Good luck with it.
- Thanks again.
- All right, man.
Jimmy!
Grab your camera,
grab your sister,
and your mother
while you're at it.
I got a little surprise
for the family.
All right.
Now, would you please
feast your eyes on that beauty?
Arthur,
what the hell is that?
- Pretty great, right?
- No, not...
Not at all.
Whose is it,
and why is it here?
It's for Jimmy.
I just had to it towed over
from the junkyard.
Oh, really, the junkyard?
I never would have guessed.
And why exactly
would you do that, Arthur?
James, would you please
remind your mother.
Uh, I don't
really know, Dad.
You don't remember?
High school graduation,
what did you want?
You wanted me to get you
an old muscle car
that we could
work on together.
- Right.
- Right?
I mean, come on,
look at this thing.
This is the perfect
summer project for us.
Summer project.
Boy, you're in for it now.
Hey, Jimmy, Jimmy,
get over here.
Do me a favor.
I wanna document
the entire thing, all right?
From today
until we return it
to its former glory.
All right.
You look beautiful
together, Dad.
- Perfect couple.
- Yes, we do.
Arthur, this is the first
and last time
I'm getting in this thing.
Famous last words, Mom.
I don't wanna hear it
outta you two.
This thing is gonna be great.
Tell 'em, James.
Gonna be great, Dad.
So glad I'm not
his favorite.
You don't see the sign?
Thanks.
- Hello.
- Hey.
- Can you talk?
- Yeah. What's up?
I think I have a potentially
huge problem on my hands.
- What kind of problem?
- I think I need a change.
Like... like a big change,
a radical change.
Is this is about Mikey?
I mean,
that's definitely part of it,
but I don't know.
I think it's somehow connected
to playing
with the band last week.
God, I don't know, Jill.
There was just something
about being up
on stage with them
that just brought something
out of me, you know,
something that I've
never felt before.
And it just is making
me rethink everything,
My... like, everything.
My... my clothes,
my God, my hair, my...
My entire life.
I just feel like...
I don't know.
And to make matters worse,
I just heard from Mikey,
and he's got some huge surprise
planned for me tonight,
which is the last thing
I want to hear.
Tam, listen to me.
You've been talking
about breaking up
with him for months now.
What are you waiting for?
I know.
I'm just... I'm scared, I guess.
I've been waiting
for the right moment to do it,
but it's just...
Something always comes up.
It's either his birthday
or my birthday
or our anniversary
or Mother's Day or...
Mother's Day?
That's bullshit.
The two of you
and your mothers,
that shit's gotta stop.
It's hard.
I don't want to hurt him.
What do I do?
You do what I've been telling
you to do for weeks now.
You break up with him.
And you do it sooner
rather than later,
so you can get on
with your life.
Tammy, can I get some help?
All right.
Thanks.
Okay, everybody
who was asked to stay,
please make your way back
to the stage.
Once you find your places,
we're gonna take it
from the top.
Before we get started,
the, uh,
young lady in the back
with the purple stripes.
Uh, Stacey Ross...
Stacey, that's you.
Uh... um, yeah, that's me.
Yeah, would you mind coming
to the front
of the stage for a second?
Stacey.
You recognize me?
Um, no.
Should I?
You used to tend bar
over at Area, right?
Yeah.
I used to go in there
all the time, we would talk.
Uh, I'm sorry,
I don't remember.
You don't...
Not ringing a bell?
I used to...
Shorter hair back then.
Really?
- I'm sorry.
- Okay, well, never mind.
Let's get to it, then.
- I'm sorry.
- No.
Okay, we'll have yellow
shirt move upstage for me.
We'll have Stacey downstage.
Thanks, guys.
All right.
And cue music.
Keep that same energy
as before, guys.
Thanks.
And five, six, seven, eight.
Nice.
Nice.
Cleaner turn, Stacey.
That's it.
Nice.
Smooth it out.
Oh, hey.
Sorry.
- Stacey, right?
- Mm-hmm.
Hey, you were really
good out there today.
Yeah, just not good enough,
apparently.
Only have two leads
in the show,
but, you know, keep at it.
You got a career in this
if you want one.
Okay.
Well, maybe next time.
Hey, look.
You really
don't remember me?
I asked you out a few times.
I mean, obviously,
you always said no, but...
Listen,
when you work in a club,
a lot of guys talk to you
and a lot of guys ask you out.
And it's kind of hard
to remember all those faces,
but, um, I don't know,
it's good to see you again.
Even if you didn't
like my dancing
nearly as much as you,
apparently, like my bar tending.
It's not that.
Just, I think, uh...
Listen, I don't need
the sob story, okay?
I get it.
Good luck.
It's kind of great
how close our mothers are.
- Don't you think?
- Mm.
It's like they're sisters.
They just talk all day,
every single day.
I don't know, I guess.
I mean, sometimes I feel
like they're a little too
interested in our business.
Yeah, but I think of it
as a blessing, you know,
for the future.
Them getting along, you know,
and us being there,
and them being there for us,
and helping us with things.
Oh, yeah, uh,
helping us with things.
What do you... what kind of...
What kind of things
do you think
we'd need help with?
- I mean...
- I don't know, well, you know,
just things that couples plan
for in the future.
Oh, things that couples
plan for in the future.
Hey, do you mind if we just
take a seat real quick?
Yeah.
Yeah, okay.
So...
So your mother didn't
say anything to you
before you met me, right?
No.
Uh, was she supposed to?
No, that's good.
That's good.
I just... I have something
I wanna ask you,
and I want it
to be a surprise.
- A surprise?
- Yes.
Tammy, for about a year...
Uh, Mikey,
what are you doing?
I'm proposing.
- What does it look like?
- I don't think...
I don't think you should
do that right now.
- I don't, um...
- What?
- Why not?
- Because, I don't...
I don't think with us...
I don't think it's...
- I think it's too soon, maybe.
- Too soon?
We've been dating for a year.
We've talked about this.
Our mothers have
talked about this.
Mikey.
Tammy, I... I thought
this was what you wanted.
Tammy?
- Tammy, look at me.
- Look, I'm sorry.
All right, I'm sorry,
I just... I can't.
- Why not?
- Because, Mikey,
I just don't...
I'm...
I'm just not in love
with you anymore, Mikey.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Fuck, man.
What you got there?
Oh-ho, nice.
Some dirty pictures.
Can I see?
No, I'm... they're just some
shots I took from the trip.
Oh, so this
is the new girl?
Hm, let me see what you're
getting yourself into.
Okay, Jimmy,
these are dirty pictures.
Would you...
Just give me that.
Don't worry, Jimmy,
I've seen boobs before,
plenty of them.
Yeah,
but not on my girlfriend.
Are you forgetting
all the times
that I walked in
on you and Jill?
Because I haven't
forgotten that.
Unforgettable.
By the way, was it weird seeing
her at the barbecue last week?
'Cause I have to admit,
I was worried you two would
see one another
and then that would be it.
You'd be back
in the throes again.
Was it weird?
Yeah.
Yeah. But I realized
when I met Maya,
I needed to be with someone
who has the same dreams as me.
You know, who's into
the same stuff I'm into...
The outdoors, nature,
camping, hiking.
So basically someone who was
willing to have sex in a tent.
Hey, listen,
there worst things to be into.
Oh, she sure is a fox.
And she looks sweet.
Sweet fox.
Yeah, she is.
I think you're gonna like her.
Good.
I'm looking forward
to meeting her.
Can I keep this
in the meantime?
Give me that.
So when are you gonna
tell Dad you're leaving?
I assume you haven't
spoken to him yet.
No, not yet.
Well, I'd suggest you might
want to break the news
to him sooner
rather than later.
Like, before Maya gets here.
You don't want her
to see your father cry.
You know what scares me?
That he actually might.
Want me to come along
for moral support?
Definitely not.
Hm, okay.
Hop to it.
♪ Carry on my wayward son
♪ There'll be peace
when you are done ♪
Hey, Dad.
How's it coming along?
Well, we've got our work
cut out for us this summer,
but nothing
the Farrells can't handle.
Yep.
There's something
we need to discuss.
Yeah, what you got, kid?
Well, it's about this girl
I'm seeing now, Maya.
Just wanna make sure you guys
are okay with her staying here.
Yeah, totally.
As long as you're smart
about it.
Remember, the walls
in this house are thin.
Yeah, uh, don't worry,
we'll be good with that.
But, um, something else
we need to discuss.
What's going on?
You look worried sick.
Well,
things went really well with
Bill Ford, like, really well.
He likes me.
He says I'm a real good
addition to the team,
and that's why he invited me
on the trip to the Andes.
Yeah, well,
I would expect nothing less.
And, you know shooting
for National Geographic
has been my dream forever.
Right.
So what is it?
Well, Mr. Ford then invited
me and Maya on his next job,
and I said yes.
And, um,
I won't be around much this
summer to help with the car.
All right.
So let me get this straight.
You said yes
without talking to your mother
and father about it first?
Yeah, I mean, it's a really
good opportunity, right?
Not for nothing,
but I'm 23 now, Dad.
Yeah, I guess you're right.
You are now old enough
to make these kind
of decisions
without consulting
with your parents first.
All right.
So when do you leave?
- Next week.
- Next week?
Get the fuck
out of here, James.
Next week... I get one week
with you this summer?
It was too
good an opportunity.
I... it's my dream.
I had to say yes.
Well, what am I gonna do
with the Cougar, huh?
What am I gonna do
with the Cougar?
You think about that at all?
No.
Of course you didn't
think about that,
because I guess we don't
consult the father
about these things anymore,
do we?
I'll tell you who's gonna be
even more upset than me,
it's your mother.
Actually, she seemed
pretty okay with it
when I told her
and Genie this morning.
Your mother knows
and your sister knows.
Everybody knows but Artie,
is that it?
I'm the schnook
that's left in the dark.
Great.
Thanks a lot, pal.
Thanks a lot.
All right, I'm gonna tell you
how this gonna go.
All right?
I'm gonna go up to the bar
and drown my sorrows.
And you,
you can stay here
and fix the Cougar by yourself.
Oh, by the way, have
a great time with Bill Ford.
You hump.
How'd it go?
Christ,
that was fucking rough.
Yeah, well,
breakups are tough,
even when they're
with your father.
Hey, what do you think?
Gloves or no gloves.
Gloves,
who do you think you are?
Audrey fucking Hepburn?
It was kind of the point.
Hey, I'm coming.
I'll be right down.
Is that Hank?
Yeah.
Who else would it be?
I don't know.
I was kind of hoping
after you saw Jimmy last week,
you'd come to your senses.
What?
No.
And you know,
not that a barbecue
in Long Island isn't
a lot of fun.
Sometimes you got to move on,
hence the gloves.
So why didn't he come up?
Is he afraid of me?
No.
I just figured you would
be here and I wanted
to save him the trouble
of getting
his balls busted by you.
Yeah, of course, I'd be here.
I live here.
And it's my name
on the lease.
Your father's name,
don't you mean?
Same difference.
You know, I hope you know
that he's never gonna
leave his wife
for you, Jill.
I hope you know that.
Yeah, I do.
And that's fine.
That's the point
of this relationship.
I do what I want when I want.
Right.
What about his wife
and his family?
Don't you care about
what you're doing to them?
How do you think
they'd feel about you
doing what you want
when you want it?
That's real fucking rich
coming from you, Stace.
- You have no fucking idea.
- I think I do.
- Oh.
- Have a good fucking night.
Yeah, you too.
By the way,
I didn't get the audition.
Totally fucking blew it,
thanks for asking.
Oh, what the hell?
You gotta be shitting me.
Are you fucking kidding me?
Hey, what the hell's going on?
Stace, I'm sorry.
I left my keys up there, will
you throw them down, please?
Hey, you know it's
5:00 in the morning, right?
Yeah, and what's that got
to do with anything?
Rapunzel, Rapunzel,
throw down my fucking keys.
Not if he's coming up, Jill.
Are you fucking kidding me?
Why are you being like this?
Throw down my keys.
Yeah, once he gets in a cab,
I'll throw 'em down.
Are you fucking serious?
You know what, I don't
need this shit from her.
I'll gladly get a cab
if it means I don't have
to listen to any more
of her bullshit.
Oh, great idea.
See you later, Hank!
You shut the hell up!
You, where the hell
are you gonna go?
- Huh?
- I'll go back to the office.
I'll get cleaned up there.
No one will be in at this hour.
It'll be fine.
Are you going to be okay?
Yeah, I'll be fine.
Be safe.
Thanks.
Hey.
Hey, Jill.
Think fast.