Bounty Hunters (2017–…): Season 1, Episode 2 - Episode #1.2 - full transcript
- His father's Alejandro Flores,
you need to disappear for a while, Nina.
- Does he come with a receipt?
Perfect.
- You're in charge
of the shop for a week
and you end up crowd funding Isis.
- Blood antiquities are
being looted from Syria
by Jihadist militants.
- In New York I met a bounty hunter,
let's ask her how we get our money back.
- Why don't I come to you?
- Where's Nina Morales?
- Barnaby?
I thought your sister was coming.
- No, my car's a two-seater.
- What you got, a Aston Martin?
This is your car?
Get the fuck out of here.
This isn't a car, this
is a frigging clown car.
- It's environmentally friendly.
- Depends upon the environment?
You drive this piece of shit
through my neighborhood,
you ain't making a lot of friends.
You need a hand with that?
- Nope.
- Sure?
I don't think it's gonna fit.
- No, it's fine.
- You good?
- Like Mary Poppins' handbag.
- So what happened to your face, Barnaby?
This guy, Smith do this to you?
- Well actually, it was,
yep, yes, he did.
- Don't worry, once we're
through with his bitch ass,
he won't be winning any
Miss America contests.
- That really won't be necessary,
I'm sure me and the bitch ass
can resolve our differences
in a perfectly cordial manner.
- You talk funny.
My God, what's happening?
Are the doors about to
fall off this clown car?
- Bugger!
- Really?
- Hey Noddy,
get out of the fucking road!
- Hey, there she
is, how you doing?
- Nina, thank you so much for coming.
- Sure, how you holding up?
- Good.
- Good.
Last time I saw this girl,
she had brains all over her.
- Let's not go there.
- Let's definitely go there.
- Well, nobody wants to see her boyfriend
get shot in the head,
you know what I'm saying?
- Boyfriend, more of an acquaintance.
- And you didn't think that
this was worth mentioning,
that this woman shot your
acquaintance in the head?
- No, no, no, no,
I shot the guy who shot her acquaintance.
- There's another
man that's also dead?
Good, good, the body count rises.
Who wants tea?
- Darling, darling babies!
- Mum!
- Baby!
- Mum, what are you doing here?
- Penelope's badgering
me about that trestle table
and I think it must be in
your father's storage unit.
Who's this?
- Well, this, Barnaby, do you want to?
- Yep,
well, this is Nina,
my new cleaner.
- Girlfriend.
which is it?
- Both,
she was my cleaner and we fell in love,
so she's going to come
and live here for a bit,
if that's okay.
- Of course,
you haven't had a girlfriend for ever.
Nina, it's so, so lovely to meet you.
I'll go and change the sheets on his bed.
- Your freaking cleaner?
- Hello, back again.
- Hey, how you doing?
Listen, we're looking for
a guy who came in here,
big guy, tattoos.
Hello, Earth to asshole!
I think this guy may have a
little bit of a hearing problem.
Can you hear me now?
- Good!
- Nina,
they have security cameras.
- Good thinking, Barnaby.
Hey, cocksucker.
- We need to see your security tapes.
- I do apologize for my colleague,
she's had rather a long flight.
That's him.
- He comes here a lot?
So he was here, this guy's a gambler
and if someone keeps winning,
you've gotta run a couple
of checks on them, right?
- Just in case they
have a history of fraud.
So sweetheart, I need you
to give me his address,
before I slash the odds
on how long you remain
attached to your balls.
- We'll be
there in half an hour.
- Mr. Foster?
Mr. Foster?
- Hi, how you doing?
Coffee?
- Is it Fair Trade?
I've a very delicate conscience.
- I think so.
- So tell me, Sofia,
where's Nina at?
- How do you know my name?
- Where's Nina, Sofia?
- I don't know any Nina.
- I think she'd be hurt
to hear you say that.
- Coffee?
The man at the bar, he threatened me.
- Do you mind?
- What?
- Just chewing that gum a little quieter.
Thank you.
Are you sure me and this chap
can't just come to some kind
of gentleman's agreement?
- No, this guy's a punk.
Look, we'll just wait till he
leaves, stage the break in,
take the money and go, alright.
You speak Spanish?
- We used to go on holiday to
Mallorca, Dad loved sailing.
- Nice.
- Not really, I get seasick,
like really seasick,
I have a spastic
sphincter in my esophagus,
medical term, means I
throw up a lot like a cat.
Once I got so seasick,
I had to be airlifted off the topper,
Dad got rather disillusioned after that.
- Yeah,
but you've gotta remember
you can't blame yourself.
- For what?
- You know, when somebody
you love, you know, tries to.
- I beg your pardon?
- I mean, he has no money,
he's gonna lose everything
and then he has a fall?
Kid, wake up.
- No, he wouldn't do that.
- Yeah, how well do you know him?
- He's my father.
- Okay, so did you speak every day?
Every week?
Month?
- He's not an easy man to talk to.
- So you're estranged?
- We're English.
- Right,
I get it.
Families can be a real pain in the ass,
mine drive me batshit crazy,
but I haven't spoken to
them in a couple of days
and it's killing me.
- Why don't you call them?
- I ditched my phone.
- Why?
- I'm not getting butt-fucked by AT&T.
- You can borrow mine.
- Really?
- Yeah, call them.
I can man the lookout.
- Thanks.
- Have
you ever seen this man?
- Sorry, to be honest I
did some pretty moody K
in my late 20s and now
I'm basically face blind.
- Miss Walker.
- Mate, my Dad's in a bridge club,
a guy came in here wearing a hoodie once,
he was so scared he locked
himself in a French armoire,
he's not dealing with blokes like this.
- Ma'am, you've got to
take a look at this.
- That thug was parked
illegally for two hours.
- Run the plates.
- Ma, it's Nina.
- My God!
- Nina, something happened to Foster,
Pancho went to his office,
there was blood everywhere,
- What?
- and a man came to the diner,
he was looking for you and I--
- Why is this schmuck looking for you?
- Can you just stay calm?
- We are staying calm!
- Sorry, the boiler in
the apartment burst.
Look, I need you guys to pack a bag
and get out of there, everyone.
- Where are we gonna go?
We ain't got no money.
- He's leaving.
- Shit.
Sofia, I gotta go.
- Everything okay?
- What?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Just stay in the car, I'm going up.
- Shouldn't I?
- Stay in the car.
- Have you got the money?
- Yeah.
It's all there.
It was all there, I swear to God!
- Find it.
- Mr. Smith, it's the police.
Can you open up, please?
- No, no, this isn't what it looks like!
- Mr. Smith.
- Help, help me, help me!
- Mr. Smith?
- We can hear you in there, Mr. Smith.
- Get hold of him.
- Open the door!
This is your last chance!
- Help, help, help me, please!
- Come on!
- We've gotta go, Barnaby.
- Is he?
- Yeah.
No, no, no, no,
we can't touch, can't leave any traces.
Are you okay?
- Yeah.
- Yeah, good.
- Argh!
- My God, Jesus!
Come on, come on, move, go, go!
- So did you find Smith?
- He's currently lying dead
in a pool of your brother's DNA.
- Jesus, what did you?
Sick, sorry, when you said DNA,
I thought that you meant.
- What, why would I?
- Adrenaline?
What about the money?
- I searched everywhere, sorry.
- That's good though, isn't it?
I mean, if they've got the money,
then they're not gonna be looking for us.
- They didn't see us, so whoever it is,
they're running scared, okay.
- Okay.
- I'm gonna go wash up.
- B, it's okay,
we've lost the money, but
we've still got the statue
and the good news is I
know a man down the pub,
he's a bit of a wheeler dealer,
he's called Black Barry, he's a--
- No, we're going to the police.
- Yeah, I think that
option's off the table.
- Why?
- Because you barfed on a dead man.
Sorry, Chundercat.
Sorry.
- Suleiman?
Evans?
Homicide are here, they'll take over.
- But sir, this is my case.
- We're out on antiquities,
dead bodies bit above our
pay grade, don't you think?
Poor fella, what a way to go?
Killed with a Bag For Life.
- I don't think I can do this.
- We've got to cover our tracks, kid.
Push, Barnaby, push!
Why are there chocolates on your pillow?
- That's my mother,
I think she's excited about,
you know, us.
- There is no us.
- Yes, obviously I know that.
Thank you for helping us.
Sorry that we can't pay you.
- Don't worry about it,
we'll think of something.
Not that.
- Good,
not good,
I didn't mean, I'm sure I
could learn a thing or two
from a seasoned,
not professional.
I.
- Goodnight, Barnaby.
- Goodnight.
- Well, well, well,
did your Mommy leave these too?
- Dear, did you and Nina have a fight?
You seemed to be getting
on so well last night.
you know, darling,
when a relationship becomes physical,
it's important to discuss boundaries,
you drive,
you know how annoyed you get,
when someone changes
lanes without indicating.
Fine.
Penelope called,
she still hasn't got the trestle table.
("Papa Was A Rollin'
Stone" by The Temptations)
- Hi, I think my father
has a storage unit here.
you need to disappear for a while, Nina.
- Does he come with a receipt?
Perfect.
- You're in charge
of the shop for a week
and you end up crowd funding Isis.
- Blood antiquities are
being looted from Syria
by Jihadist militants.
- In New York I met a bounty hunter,
let's ask her how we get our money back.
- Why don't I come to you?
- Where's Nina Morales?
- Barnaby?
I thought your sister was coming.
- No, my car's a two-seater.
- What you got, a Aston Martin?
This is your car?
Get the fuck out of here.
This isn't a car, this
is a frigging clown car.
- It's environmentally friendly.
- Depends upon the environment?
You drive this piece of shit
through my neighborhood,
you ain't making a lot of friends.
You need a hand with that?
- Nope.
- Sure?
I don't think it's gonna fit.
- No, it's fine.
- You good?
- Like Mary Poppins' handbag.
- So what happened to your face, Barnaby?
This guy, Smith do this to you?
- Well actually, it was,
yep, yes, he did.
- Don't worry, once we're
through with his bitch ass,
he won't be winning any
Miss America contests.
- That really won't be necessary,
I'm sure me and the bitch ass
can resolve our differences
in a perfectly cordial manner.
- You talk funny.
My God, what's happening?
Are the doors about to
fall off this clown car?
- Bugger!
- Really?
- Hey Noddy,
get out of the fucking road!
- Hey, there she
is, how you doing?
- Nina, thank you so much for coming.
- Sure, how you holding up?
- Good.
- Good.
Last time I saw this girl,
she had brains all over her.
- Let's not go there.
- Let's definitely go there.
- Well, nobody wants to see her boyfriend
get shot in the head,
you know what I'm saying?
- Boyfriend, more of an acquaintance.
- And you didn't think that
this was worth mentioning,
that this woman shot your
acquaintance in the head?
- No, no, no, no,
I shot the guy who shot her acquaintance.
- There's another
man that's also dead?
Good, good, the body count rises.
Who wants tea?
- Darling, darling babies!
- Mum!
- Baby!
- Mum, what are you doing here?
- Penelope's badgering
me about that trestle table
and I think it must be in
your father's storage unit.
Who's this?
- Well, this, Barnaby, do you want to?
- Yep,
well, this is Nina,
my new cleaner.
- Girlfriend.
which is it?
- Both,
she was my cleaner and we fell in love,
so she's going to come
and live here for a bit,
if that's okay.
- Of course,
you haven't had a girlfriend for ever.
Nina, it's so, so lovely to meet you.
I'll go and change the sheets on his bed.
- Your freaking cleaner?
- Hello, back again.
- Hey, how you doing?
Listen, we're looking for
a guy who came in here,
big guy, tattoos.
Hello, Earth to asshole!
I think this guy may have a
little bit of a hearing problem.
Can you hear me now?
- Good!
- Nina,
they have security cameras.
- Good thinking, Barnaby.
Hey, cocksucker.
- We need to see your security tapes.
- I do apologize for my colleague,
she's had rather a long flight.
That's him.
- He comes here a lot?
So he was here, this guy's a gambler
and if someone keeps winning,
you've gotta run a couple
of checks on them, right?
- Just in case they
have a history of fraud.
So sweetheart, I need you
to give me his address,
before I slash the odds
on how long you remain
attached to your balls.
- We'll be
there in half an hour.
- Mr. Foster?
Mr. Foster?
- Hi, how you doing?
Coffee?
- Is it Fair Trade?
I've a very delicate conscience.
- I think so.
- So tell me, Sofia,
where's Nina at?
- How do you know my name?
- Where's Nina, Sofia?
- I don't know any Nina.
- I think she'd be hurt
to hear you say that.
- Coffee?
The man at the bar, he threatened me.
- Do you mind?
- What?
- Just chewing that gum a little quieter.
Thank you.
Are you sure me and this chap
can't just come to some kind
of gentleman's agreement?
- No, this guy's a punk.
Look, we'll just wait till he
leaves, stage the break in,
take the money and go, alright.
You speak Spanish?
- We used to go on holiday to
Mallorca, Dad loved sailing.
- Nice.
- Not really, I get seasick,
like really seasick,
I have a spastic
sphincter in my esophagus,
medical term, means I
throw up a lot like a cat.
Once I got so seasick,
I had to be airlifted off the topper,
Dad got rather disillusioned after that.
- Yeah,
but you've gotta remember
you can't blame yourself.
- For what?
- You know, when somebody
you love, you know, tries to.
- I beg your pardon?
- I mean, he has no money,
he's gonna lose everything
and then he has a fall?
Kid, wake up.
- No, he wouldn't do that.
- Yeah, how well do you know him?
- He's my father.
- Okay, so did you speak every day?
Every week?
Month?
- He's not an easy man to talk to.
- So you're estranged?
- We're English.
- Right,
I get it.
Families can be a real pain in the ass,
mine drive me batshit crazy,
but I haven't spoken to
them in a couple of days
and it's killing me.
- Why don't you call them?
- I ditched my phone.
- Why?
- I'm not getting butt-fucked by AT&T.
- You can borrow mine.
- Really?
- Yeah, call them.
I can man the lookout.
- Thanks.
- Have
you ever seen this man?
- Sorry, to be honest I
did some pretty moody K
in my late 20s and now
I'm basically face blind.
- Miss Walker.
- Mate, my Dad's in a bridge club,
a guy came in here wearing a hoodie once,
he was so scared he locked
himself in a French armoire,
he's not dealing with blokes like this.
- Ma'am, you've got to
take a look at this.
- That thug was parked
illegally for two hours.
- Run the plates.
- Ma, it's Nina.
- My God!
- Nina, something happened to Foster,
Pancho went to his office,
there was blood everywhere,
- What?
- and a man came to the diner,
he was looking for you and I--
- Why is this schmuck looking for you?
- Can you just stay calm?
- We are staying calm!
- Sorry, the boiler in
the apartment burst.
Look, I need you guys to pack a bag
and get out of there, everyone.
- Where are we gonna go?
We ain't got no money.
- He's leaving.
- Shit.
Sofia, I gotta go.
- Everything okay?
- What?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Just stay in the car, I'm going up.
- Shouldn't I?
- Stay in the car.
- Have you got the money?
- Yeah.
It's all there.
It was all there, I swear to God!
- Find it.
- Mr. Smith, it's the police.
Can you open up, please?
- No, no, this isn't what it looks like!
- Mr. Smith.
- Help, help me, help me!
- Mr. Smith?
- We can hear you in there, Mr. Smith.
- Get hold of him.
- Open the door!
This is your last chance!
- Help, help, help me, please!
- Come on!
- We've gotta go, Barnaby.
- Is he?
- Yeah.
No, no, no, no,
we can't touch, can't leave any traces.
Are you okay?
- Yeah.
- Yeah, good.
- Argh!
- My God, Jesus!
Come on, come on, move, go, go!
- So did you find Smith?
- He's currently lying dead
in a pool of your brother's DNA.
- Jesus, what did you?
Sick, sorry, when you said DNA,
I thought that you meant.
- What, why would I?
- Adrenaline?
What about the money?
- I searched everywhere, sorry.
- That's good though, isn't it?
I mean, if they've got the money,
then they're not gonna be looking for us.
- They didn't see us, so whoever it is,
they're running scared, okay.
- Okay.
- I'm gonna go wash up.
- B, it's okay,
we've lost the money, but
we've still got the statue
and the good news is I
know a man down the pub,
he's a bit of a wheeler dealer,
he's called Black Barry, he's a--
- No, we're going to the police.
- Yeah, I think that
option's off the table.
- Why?
- Because you barfed on a dead man.
Sorry, Chundercat.
Sorry.
- Suleiman?
Evans?
Homicide are here, they'll take over.
- But sir, this is my case.
- We're out on antiquities,
dead bodies bit above our
pay grade, don't you think?
Poor fella, what a way to go?
Killed with a Bag For Life.
- I don't think I can do this.
- We've got to cover our tracks, kid.
Push, Barnaby, push!
Why are there chocolates on your pillow?
- That's my mother,
I think she's excited about,
you know, us.
- There is no us.
- Yes, obviously I know that.
Thank you for helping us.
Sorry that we can't pay you.
- Don't worry about it,
we'll think of something.
Not that.
- Good,
not good,
I didn't mean, I'm sure I
could learn a thing or two
from a seasoned,
not professional.
I.
- Goodnight, Barnaby.
- Goodnight.
- Well, well, well,
did your Mommy leave these too?
- Dear, did you and Nina have a fight?
You seemed to be getting
on so well last night.
you know, darling,
when a relationship becomes physical,
it's important to discuss boundaries,
you drive,
you know how annoyed you get,
when someone changes
lanes without indicating.
Fine.
Penelope called,
she still hasn't got the trestle table.
("Papa Was A Rollin'
Stone" by The Temptations)
- Hi, I think my father
has a storage unit here.