Bones (2005–2017): Season 6, Episode 12 - The Sin in the Sisterhood - full transcript

Ohh!

She's 6.5 centimeters.
It should be a matter of minutes.

Oh, I should go.
I don't think we're gonna make dinner.

She's almost done.

It's... really late.

- Right.
- And I've been waiting

for five hours.
We can go to breakfast.

There's a place
around the corner,

makes the best French toast.

I really have to go.

You'll miss the miracle
of birth.



Death's calling
on the other line.

Mmm.
Uh...

Uh, coffee later
today? 3:00?

Think you can get away?

I will. I'll clear
the afternoon.

Okay.

WOMAN
Get this baby out of me...!

Neechy, uh, neechy... what?

Nixtamalization.

The traditional
Aztec method

used to prepare kernels
for consumption.

Maize was
a very important aspect

of Mesoamerican life.

Where are we?



I have no idea.

I should have brought the GPS.
Or a periscope.

Here. You can be the periscope.

No, thanks.

You want to be the guy
holding the periscope?

What do you see?
Everything.

This height
is extremely advantageous.

See the crime scene?

Yes. The crime scene
is over there.

Here they come.

I hear Cam!

Cam? Cam?!
Yep.

There you are.

I... I thought we were lost.

This crime scene
is very remote.

And the corn is creepy.

It is, right?

For a vegetable.
Or is it a grain?

Maize is actually a grass.

Why are you so dressed up?

Paul and I were headed
to dinner

when one of his patients
went into labor

and one of mine
turned up in a cornfield.

Ooh, bummer.
Yeah.

Nobody's touched it.
I was waiting for you.

State of
decomposition

and the height of the plants
beneath the body

suggest some passage of time.

Well, what do they
say about corn,

"Knee high by the
Fourth of July"?

How would you know?

I did Oklahoma!
in high school.

With the dry weather
we've been having,

I'd say he's been dead
maybe four weeks?

Victim is male, early 40s.

And judging
by his clothes,

he was here to work.

Any ideas about cause of death?

Oh... there we go.

This is a homicide.

Evidence of a bullet wound
to the sternum,

gladiolus and the true ribs.

Right.
See a bullet in there?

No. I-I don't see
the exit wound clearly.

Looks like the muzzle
of the gun was held

in intermediate proximity,
close to the chest.

There's got to be a bullet
around here somewhere.

Uh, that was thunder.

Yeah.
There's lots to do.

Let's pull some soil samples
and get out of these guys' way.

Are you prepared
to remove the body?

Yeah. I got
the bag right here.

Forget about the bag--
you need a tarp. Now.

This is about to turn
into Woodstock.

Oh, uh,
which way is the car?

I have no idea.

We didn't anticipate rain.

Yeah, you never know. Whoa!

Let's cover him up
before he's soup.

♪ Bones 6x12 ♪
The Sin In The Sisterhood
Original Air Date on February 3, 2011

♪ Main Title Theme ♪ The Crystal Method

and TOYOTA.

You got off easy, kid.

Mother Nature
cleaned these bones.

She did a crappy job.

Shh!

She can hear you.

We bagged the body before
the hard stuff came down,

but five minutes later,
it was a mud bath.

Man, why do I
always miss the fun?

Well, something has been
snacking on this guy--

a rodent with large incisors.

Muskrats.

The farmer who owns the land

said he's been having a problem.

Well, did he, by any chance,
shoot at them?

I don't think so.

He has severe
rheumatoid arthritis.

Oh.

Look at this,
Dr. Saroyan.

I see a tangential entry wound,
but no radiating fractures.

It's consistent
with the close-range shot.
What's the diameter?

15.89.

Which could be anything
between a 9mm and a 38.

Has Agent Booth
found the bullet?

Last I heard,
FBI has a team out looking.

Mmm.
I'll...

check on the progress.

"Not yet" is not
an answer, all right?

So just keep looking.

Right.

What are you doing here?
Any luck with the bullet?

Aw, you know.
They're changing the expression

from, uh, "needle in a haystack"

to "bullet in a cornfield."

Well, let me know
as soon as you can.

Ballistics gets backed up
this time of year.

Right.

You know what it means
if we don't find it.

The guy wasn't killed
in the cornfield.

That's it.
Yeah,

so, why are you here, again?

To be honest, Seeley, I...

I want your opinion
about something personal.

Ooh.

This is about your boyfriend.

Uh, Paul's not my boyfriend.

We just see each other
once in a while.

And every time we do,

somebody's water breaks
and he's got to go.

That's not his fault.

He shares this practice
with six doctors.

He chooses to be this busy.

You like this guy?
Yeah.

Yeah. Okay, look, then
it's all about communication.

You just got to give this guy
a chance.

But I feel like I have.

How many chances
does he deserve?

Nine.

That's cats.

Applies to men and cats.

All right,
so listen.

All I'm saying is
you deserve someone great,

and if you feel as though
this guy is the one,

then don't let him get away.

This doesn't make any sense.

A clayshoveler's fracture

at the C-7 indicates
a life of hard labor,

but anterior wedging
of the mid-vertebra

suggests that
a great deal of time

was spent in a seated position.

He baled hay
and drove a tractor.

But look at
the muscle attachments.

Hmm. They're a result
of repetitive motion?

Yes. And there appear to be
stress fractures forming

at the radiocarpal joints.

It's as if this man
spent a great deal of time

supporting his weight
on his hands

while engaging
in a repetitive motion.

I get it.

This motion would be

reminiscent of a primate
having intercourse.

We are looking for
a horny farmer. Yes, we are.

It's Booth.

Brennan.

Ed Samuel,41.

He rents farm equipment
in the area

where the body was found.

He went missing
about a month ago.

He was wearing a plaid shirt,
blue jeans...

That sounds consistent.

We'll need to confirm
with dental records.

Ask if he was horny.

Oh, wa...
was he promiscuous?

I don't know.

His wife Maryanne's at home
right now.

Okay? I'm going to come pick you up.
Okay.

What difference does it
make if he was promiscuous?

The evidence seems to indicate

that the victim
spent a lot of time copulating.

These are my children
and my, um, father, Dan;

and my sisters,
Beth and Carol.

How do you do?

FBI Special
Agent Booth.

This here is my partner,
Dr. Temperance Brennan.

I'm very sorry for your loss.
Thank you.

And thank you for coming.

Hey, kids, let's
go to the park, huh?

Let's go.

Can we?
Oh, sure.

Do you mind
if my sisters stay?

Of course not.

So...

tell about
your husband Ed.

Uh, well, he was

raised right here in town.

He always farmed
his parents' land.

And when I was pregnant with
our first son, he started

the equipment-rental business,
to help make ends meet.

How many children do you have?

Eleven.

We always wanted
a big family.

Ed must have enjoyed

having sex
with a pregnant partner.

I can tell
how much time

he spent copulating.

So the night
that Ed disappeared...?

It was... just any other night.

We were here, making dinner
with the kids, and, um...

he just never came home.

Eventually,
we called the police.

Any reason to believe
why somebody

would wa to hurt
your husband?

No.

Everybody loved Ed.

So did you

or your husband own a gun?

Yes, we do. Uh...

Ed liked to keep one
for protection.

It's in the bedroom.

I can show you
to the bedroom.

This way.

Hey...

Check out
this Solanum tuberosum.

Why are you walking
like that?

Like what?

Slow. You usually walk fast.

Just thinking.

Ah, that's her
pensive walk.

Care to share
what you're pensing about?

Oh... nothing.

Life.

You have a life?

No... Dr. Hodgins, I don't.

Is everything okay?

Everything's fine.

What's this about potato
particulates in our cornfield?

Uh, not in the cornfield.

I found them
in the chest wound.

Lots of them.

Uh, and look what I found
on his shirt.

They're called,
uh, "anthers."

It's the pollen-bearing part
of certain flower stamens.

Cornflower or
potato flower?

Neither. We're talking about
a whole other plant entirely.

This victim, he was like

a full-blown salad
of plant particulates.

Then you should be a happy man.

There is no one happier.

See, Dr. Saroyan,
it's okay.

No one has a life
around here.

Are any of the children
the result of multiple birth?

No.

They're congenitally deformed.

Why would you say such a thing?

Cranial proportion
indicates that

all of these subjects are less
than 18 months old,

divided by
average human gestation...

They have small heads.

Bones. They look very
cooperative in that picture.

I mean, someone takes a picture
of my kid, he hits them.

The children are a blessing.

Here's his gun.

He doesn't use it.
It's just for protection.

Does he have any bullets?

I don't see any,

but I will go to the closet
in the other room and check.

Great.

The small heads!

They're statistically
impossible.

You don't just say things...

Who's that?

Oh, it's Cam.
Hey, what's up?

If it helps, Hodgins found

potato particulates
in the wound.

Oh, they used a potato
as a silencer.

Is there a pillow shortage
in Virginia?

I don't know;
it's a country thing--

shoot through a potato.
I got to go.

This is all we've got.

All right, thanks.
Uh, do you know

anyone who farms potatoes,
by any chance?

I suppose some people do.

Um, our family photos
are private.

Not during a murder case.

I understand your secrecy.

You must face great stigma
in the United States.

Bones, we should go.

I understand the practicality.

I studied a similar tribe

in Papua New Guinea.
I take it back.

Those children, are
not deformed, Booth.

They...
Bones.

Let's just-- I'm sorry--
let's go.

They have three
different mothers.

Look... Ed and Maryann:

Ed and Beth.

Ed was married to both of you?

And Carol.

These women aren't
just sisters...

they're sister-wives.

American polygamy
is primarily limited

to one tradition.

Uh, these people
are fundamentalist

Latter-Day Saints.
Mormons.

No, they're not at
all sanctioned

by the mainstream Church.

Mormons abandoned
the practice

of plural marriage
a long time ago.

How do you know
about this, Sweets?

College paper.

No. Television.

The mainstream media

depicts plural marriage
as if it were the, uh,

proverbial bug in a jar.

That's just pretty strange
if you ask me.

Was Ed Samuel legally married
to all three sisters?

One. The other two were married

in a religious ceremony.

That's how he stayed
out of jail.

Then it's merely
a personal choice.

Polygamy is a viable response

to many socioeconomic
conditions.

Really? How so?

Well, I can see

why a man might
fantasize...

Sweets. Didn't ask you.

Bones, go ahead.
How so?

For instance, in ancient China,

the male-to-female ratio
is skewed.

We're talking about
Virginia here.

Okay? Ratio is just fine.

Swingers.
These guys were swingers.

Swingers are, by definition,

couples, who
with permission of...

Just stop, all right?
I'm saying is that,

you know, multiple marriages--
great motive for murder.

You're applying your own bias.

No. Actually, I agree
with Agent Booth on this one.

Thank you.
You're welcome.

Polygamy may make sense
anthropologically,

but jealousy is a
very powerful emotion.

Free love taught
us one thing:

open relationships
don't necessarily work.

I mean, did these women
claim to be happy?

They said they were.
Did they have alibis?

They were at home,
shouldering

their economic burden
communally.

Right. Clipping coupons.

You know what I should do?
I should call

the sisters' dad, Dan Lambertt.

How could he be cool with this?

That's a good place to start.

I'm right behind you.
Thanks.

Cam.

What's up?
We still on for that coffee?

I can't. I'm sorry.

I hate to jerk you around
like this.

No, I get it.

I told this woman
to stay off the trampoline.

You do what you got to do.

We've all got responsibilities.

All right, listen. Uh,

when I say tomorrow,
I mean tomorrow.

I promise.

Talk to you then.
Safe delivery.

That gun looks nice.

Dr. Lidner,
she's crowning.

Yeah.

Honestly...

I thought my girls
were out of their minds.

However, you
spoke with Ed

on a regular
basis for years.

Ed and Maryann met

at church,
when they were teenagers.

His family, our family--

all of us attended
the same place.

Right, at, uh, let's see,

that Mormon church
up at Balding?

Yeah. I thought
he was good for her.

I couldn't have been happier
when they got married.

Then a few years later,

he comes to me...

wants to take Beth
as his second wife

in some ceremony, with Maryann
standing right there.

Says it was Maryann's idea.

What did you say?
I was shocked.

I mean, I... the girls
had always been close,

but like this?

They said it was
what they wanted.

So you just went along with it.

It's not my business
to make life harder on my kids.

Where were you the night
that Ed disappeared?

At work.

I'm retired, but I still

take some shifts
at the hardware store.

You know, your daughters;
they haven't

really been forthcoming
about their situation.

I'm sure they weren't.

They don't have it easy
around here, Agent Booth.

My girls
don't deserve this.

Neither did Ed.

No one should have
had a problem.

Who had a problem?

A lot of people.

You talk to Pete Mill?

Who's Pete Mill?

He owns that pecan
orchard up the road.

A month ago,
someone

scratched "plig"
on the hood of Beth's car

and bashed out
the windshield.

Mm-hmm. "Plig."

That's, uh, derogatory
for "polygamist." Right.

You think he's the
one who did this?

I know he did.

So, Mr. Lambertt, you...
you own any guns?

Yeah. A few for hunting.

You can take 'em.
Take 'em all.

Oh, that poor man.

Three...

And they're sisters.

I heard you
the first time.

But they don't engage
in sexual intercourse

in a group setting.

Rather, they keep
a strict calendar.

Why would one man
even want three wives?

Well, with three wives,

he can produce 11 children
in eight years.

I guess, more people
to do dishes.

What is she doing?

What are you doing?

Shooting a gun
into this big tank.

It's homicide season.

The FBI ballistics lab
gets all backed up.

But you can't
run ballistics.

We haven't recovered
the bullet yet.

Well, when they do,
I'll be ready.

Is it safe to shoot in the lab?

Probably not.

Uh, can you stand
behind the line?

Can I do it?

No. You go look at some bones.

Take some ear protection
with you.

This gun is mine.

Fire in the hole!

Have you made any progress
with the manble?

I can hear you.

What's wrong
with Dr. Saroyan?

Uh, it's likely
she's experiencing sexual

frustration...

But Cam is a very...

private person.

The mandible...

I don't know what
caused the condition,

but I've ruled out

cancer and
pesticides.

I also...

I also found

a perimortem bruise
on the pelvis,

specifically
the frontal curve

of the right
iliac crest.

And look at this.

There are particulates
embedded in the exit wound.

Look at the posterior aspect
of the seventh rib.

A result of blowback.

The bullet struck
a hard surface upon exit,

causing the particulates to...
propel backward.

That's correct.

Who let Cam shoot a gun?

The Second Amendment.

What's that?
That is
the answer to our anthers.

Behold the catkin.

It's a cylindrical
bud cluster

found on several
flowering plants;

in this case,
the Carya illinoinensis,

otherwise known
as the pecan tree.

Wait. This... flower
is from a pecan tree?

Certainly is.

Hey, Pete Mill,

right?
You own Mill's Pecans;

an orchard near the field
where the body was found?

I don't know
anything about that.

You don't know
if you farm pecans?

I farm pecans.

I don't know nothing
about no dead body.

It's a small community.

Can't deny that
you knew the victim.

He wasn't a friend
or nothing.

I just knew him.

But you didn't like him.

You know what
his deal was, right?

He was a polygamist.

Pervert, I call it!

He was living in sin,

defying the laws of nature.

And it was your job
to let him know, right?

Tell me about the car.
What car?

You scratched a word

on the hood of Beth Samuel's
car-- "P-L-I-G."

That's it. I need a lawyer.

Work with me here, Pete.

Nobody cares
that you keyed a car,

but you don't want to go down
for murder if you didn't do it.

Son, I believe
in family values.

Marrying three girls from the
same family ain't right.

Amen. Did you kill him?

The sanctity of
the institution of marriage

is everyone's business.

Marriage should be between
one man and one woman;

not two boys,

not a cow and a frog, or a...

Actually, you may need
that lawyer.

Do you own any guns, Mr. Mill?

Yeah. An old .22.

And a new .22.

Granddad's revolver,

new shotgun,

old shotguns, rifles,

pistols, you name it.

BOOTH
I sent over the guns
from all of our suspects.

I see. Over there, guys.

Find the bullet yet?

Nope. It's officially not there.

So...

we know the body was moved

and we have no idea
where he was killed.

That's right.
Okay.

I'll get to work.

I've got nothing else
to do tonight.

Oh, what? You don't have a date
with the doc?

Eh, he cancelled this afternoon.

I'm starting to feel like a sap.

Aw, come on. You know you've
been called a lot of things,

but sappy is definitely
not one of them.

Hey, Seeley,

I was thinking...

I have a theory about this case.

All right, go ahead. Shoot.

Why do people kill other people?

Money, jealousy, love...

Bingo.

Okay, look. There's no way
that all three women

were okay
being in King Ed's harem.

- Uh... how do you know?
- I just know.

I don't have to tell you

about plural marriage
and the Bible.

Okay, that is the Old Testament.

Both Testaments reference
it without fanfare.

Wow.
It was a given.

You know what?
That was a long time ago.

And no need to take it
so literally.

You believe that
Jesus walked on water.

We really don't need to have this
argument right now. Who are you

to choose what should be taken
literally in a sacred text?!

You can't have it both ways.

Exactly my point-- you pick
a wife and you go with it.

History suggests

that monogamy would only
guarantee extinction,

not happiness.
Right.

Well, history is wrong;

that's all I can say.
Wrong-o, wrong-o.

Booth.

Right.

Thank you.

You're about to say something
that supports your argument.

Hmm? Well, Maryanne Samuels,

better known
as contestant number one,

filed for divorce from her
husband six weeks ago.

How is that for happiness?

I know I should
have told you.

Right. Well, you do know
that it's illegal

to withhold information

during the course
of a Federal investigation.

Makes you look
really guilty.

I'm sorry.

I haven't even been honest

with my sisters
about the divorce.

Really?!
You don't say, 'cause, you know,

I thought you shared everything.

Not yet. I...

didn't want them to be hurt.

I...

Ed was still trying
to talk me out of it.

Okay, you do realize this looks,

more and more,
like a motive for murder.

Well, it's not.

I know it's hard

for you to understand
why we live the way we do.

It is our religious belief.

You're right. You're absolutely
right. I don't understand.

I just wanted to look after
my sisters.

I didn't mind sharing Ed,

as long as it was with them.

Right. You cited
irreconcilable differences.

Can you be more specific?

What, that you wanted
to sleep with, uh, Ed

on Wednesdays and Fridays
instead of, uh,

Tuesdays and Thursdays?

No!

Ed was having an affair.

Hey...

Hey...

What are those?

They're particulates
from the blowback

that were lodged in the victim
after he was shot.

That wasn't clear at all,
was it?

Uh, I stopped
listening.

Okay. After he was shot, right,
the bullet went through him,

and then it hit the wall,
or something,

and then the debris blew back
and lodged into his spine.

That any clearer?

I don't know, honey.
I stopped listening.

The baby was moving.

Man, I am so jealous

that I don't get
to feel him yet.

Oh, don't be upset.

It's only the most amazing
thing in the world.

You're so cruel.

You know, with this baby
coming, we could, uh...

we could really
use another wife.

Really?

You want me to marry
another woman?

No, not you. Me.

I could use the help.

I'm gonna be like a
24-hour restaurant.

I will be your slave.
You know that.

Would you want another wife?

Truth?

Oh, I'm not sure.

If I could marry you twice,
I would do it in a heartbeat.

I wish we could have sex
at work.

Mm-hmm.
Really?

Yeah.
It's this lab coat, isn't it?

Oh.

Well, they're organic.

Huh?

The particulates--
it's some kind of plant.

Well, he was found
in a cornfield.

Yes, but this
is not corn.

This baby's going
to be so proud of me.

Your phone is ringing.

Yeah. It's Paul.

Oh, hot doctor Paul?

That's the one.

Uh-oh. What did he do?

Nothing.

We're just two ships
passing in the night.

I don't think
it's going to work out.

Hmm. He must have
done something.

No, he didn't.

Okay. He hasn't kept a date
in three weeks.

What is his excuse?

Women in labor.

No. It's a good excuse--
don't get me wrong-- but I'm...

I'm just starting to wonder
how much he cares for me.

I mean, best case scenario,
he's a workaholic.

Well, then it's a match
made in heaven.

If we ever saw each other.

Oh. I get it.

You're blowing him off
so he'll come crawling back.

Uh, no,
that's not it at all.

Yes, it is.
I'm all for it.

I'm way too old
to play that game.

This isn't a game.

You're Cam.
You don't wait around.

Go ahead and make your plans,
and if they don't include him,

then he'll catch up.

Booth says I need
to communicate.

There's more than one way
to communicate.

Do you have a better strategy?

So, due to the presence

of blowback
in and around the wound,

we know that the bullet
came into contact

with a hard
object upon exit.

For instance, the wall?

Well, we don't know that.

But let's say the wall.

Is that
a plausible scenario?

I think so.

Do we have any more information
on the assailant?

Booth thinks it may be
the victim's first wife.

Is the representation

of the victim's
height accurate?

It seems Maryann
may be too short

to hold the gun
comfortably.

No, the representation
is accurate.

I cracked this nut wide open.

How?

The particulates we
found in the blowback

are actually pecan.

We already know
the victim came into contact

with the flower
of that same plant.

Yes, but I'm not talking
about an ordinary pecan.

This pecan had undergone
a unique digestive process

rendering it into, for lack
of a better word, a rock.

Digested pecan?

What animal
turns pecans into rocks?

Good question.
When we find the answer,

there's where Booth
will find his magic bullet,

and thus, the
scene of the crime.

Let's see what happens

when I put him on the floor.

Why did you do that?

Well, what digested pecan
would be on the wall?

Good point.
It's far more likely

for feces to be on the floor.

There you are.

I found out why our victim
had a mush mouth.

Isotope results indicate
high levels of radium.

That's a
bone-seeking isotope.

Someone was likely trying
to poison Ed Samuel.

Hmm.

He was poisoned?

It makes sense.

His teeth and jaw clearly
suffered exposure over time.

He was drinking it.

That's the number one way
that wives off their husbands.

It is?

Seems like it is.

But ultimately,
Ed Samuel was shot.

After she got tired
of waiting around for him

to keel over
on the dining room table.

Which one do you think it was?

I don't think the wives would
have access to radium salt.

Who would?
The use of radium salt

is limited
to scientific experimentation.

Right. Would a college
laboratory have it?

It's possible.
Possible.

'Cause Ed Samuel
was dating a grad student

in his spare time.

How did you meet
Ed Samuel?

I tutor his son Jasper
in Chemistry.

Ed brought him
to the lab on campus.

Were you aware Jasper
had three mommies?

No.

I thought Maryann
was his mother.

She picked him up
once in a while.

So you slept with her husband?

Yeah.

I mean,

I know it was wrong,
but really, it was no biggie.

No biggie?

What do you want? I'm 22.

He bought me a really nice
used convertible.

How did you find out
about Beth and Carol?

When they showed up one night
while I was finishing up

an assignment for the next day.

All three of them.

But Maryann did all the talking.

What did she say?

She was calling me
a whore and said, like,

all this scary Bible stuff.

I ran out.

Now, do you have something
called,

uh, radium salt in your lab?

We used to.

We studied

its use as a fertilizer.

It has to be kept
in a special box

lined with metal,
marked "radioactive."

What happened to it?

I don't know.

I went to look for it
the other day and it was gone.

I-I should have called the cops.

Okay, so does anyone
want to speak up?

That's not ours.
At least it's not mine.

No, it's not mine,
either.

Someone is trying to frame us.

I don't know anything about it.

Well, we will soon.

They're testing
for fingerprints right now.

And since you all live here,

you can all be held
legally responsible.

It's mine.

Okay? It-It's mine.

Believe me, Agent Booth.

I did this alone.

Maryann and Beth
knew nothing about it.

What were you thinking?

She has always been
a troublemaker.

I thought inviting her

into the family
would help.

If you were having problems,
there are other ways.

Like divorcing him secretly?

Really?

Now the truth comes out.

Who was getting
a divorce?

I was.

I-I didn't want
to ruin your lives.

I was going to tell you.

No, you weren't.

I saw the paperwork
in your trash two weeks ago.

What were you doing
in my bathroom?

I needed something.
Ladies. Please.

No one is allowed
in anyone else's bathroom.

I admit, it is fascinating

to watch a tight-knit group
fracture under pressure.

That and they're dangerous.

Right. Okay.

Ladies.
Everybody, please.

Calm down.

Obviously,
you've all been under

an enormous
amount of stress.

Tell us exactly
what circumstances

lead you to poison
your husband.

We went to talk
to that Heather Lakefish.

And I saw the radium
salt right there.

But I didn't want to kill him.

I just wanted
more time with him.

I thought you kept a strict
schedule to avoid complications.

We do, but we have
different responsibilities,

and when Ed is sick,
he stays with me.

I went to nursing school.

Oh, then you know
that poisoning leads to death.

I... I didn't give
him that much.

Just enough so I could
see him once in a while.

We never got to be alone.

They're always
hovering.

They're jealous.

You are
so ungrateful.

Well, at least
she tells the truth.

Okay, ladies.
We're done, all right?

Carol, you're being booked
attempted murder.

I, uh, see it's
not a good time.

Paul, what are
you doing here?

You weren't answering my calls.

Then again,
maybe you didn't hear them.

I got your message.

Messages.
I should have called.

Excuse me. Hi.

Hi.

Uh, Dr. Saroyan,
Dr. Hodgins

is beginning the feces project,

if you'd like to join.

How can you say no?

It can wait.

And can you come with me?
Yeah.

Um, I know why
you're angry.

No, I'm not angry.

Okay, maybe a little.

I have too many patients

and they take up
too much of my time.

No, you're good
with your patients.

And it's not just you.

We're both strapped
to a schedule.

I just don't know
where that leaves us.

Hey, you don't want to start
catching babies, do you?

All right, then we'll come
over here and shoot guns.

Oh, I wish
it were that easy.

We could make it easy.

Cam,

the reason I came here

at an incredibly inconvenient
time for both of us

is because I had
to say this.

I care about my job,

but I'm starting to realize

I care more about you.

I love being
with you, Cam.

I mean, you're
brilliant and gorgeous,

and I think about
you all the time.

I-I... don't know
what to say.

I don't want anything
to get in the way

of this relationship.

Okay? Not even the career I've
worked for my entire life.

You have responsibilities.

So do you.

But I have to prioritize,

and so do you.

Angela said
we're both workaholics.

Mother's intuition
kicking in.

She's right.

That's why I lied
to my patients.

Yeah. I told everyone
I'm going to Thailand

for my sister's wedding.

Paul. Oh...

Hmm. I made reservations

for dinner tonight at
the Founding Fathers.

And I bought you a scarf.

I'm sorry, I can't.

I have a murder to solve.

Then stand me up.

I'll feel better.
We'll be even.

8:00, I'll be
at the bar.

No, no. Really,
I can't, Paul.

But I-I will
call you next week.

I promise.

So that's a yes?

See you at 8:00.

What are you doing?

I'm watching
a live feed.

Peter Mill distributes
his surplus pecan crop

as food for livestock
through a local co-op.

For sheep, pigs
and... and ostrich?

Good God, man,
did you go to college?

Is that an emu?
Yeah, that's better.

So you feed them pecans,
and then you plan

to retrieve their, uh...

Feces.

Right. To see which animal's
excrement best matches

the evidence found
in the blowback.

Correct. Care to take
a field trip this afternoon?

I got two shovels.

Oh, I-I can't.

I... I'm busy, you know.

Really? Busy, huh?

Yeah.

Just...

Mm-hmm. Too busy
to go through feces?

This moron was poisoned
and shot.

I'm surprised he wasn't
stabbed and burned up, too.

I think "moron"
is a little harsh

for someone who was
merely living a lifestyle

you are uncomfortable with.

Okay, how about
nitwit or doofus?

What was that?

What's going on?

Oh, adaptive cruise control.

When the Prius senses
the car ahead is too close,

it warns you and slows down.

Oh. So the car is smarter
than our victim.

Anthropologically,
the victim...

No, no, no, no.
No more anthropology.

All right?
You live with three women--

it's like a breeding ground
for revenge and violence.

You want to know why?
Because human beings are more complex

than anthropological tropes.

What might work

for one culture is an
anathema to another.

Wait, are you
agreeing with me?

No. No. No.

I'm merely
stating what is...

currently accepted.

You're agreeing with me.
You are.

Only in so far as the
victim should have realized

how complicated his
relationships would become

in our present culture.

In that case,

and in that case only,

he-he was a...

he was a nitwit.

He was a nitwit.

Did you just laugh?

I did.

I think I did.
I'm sorry. Bones.

It's wrong, because
a man is dead.

That's right.
You're right, it's sad.

Yeah.

He was a bonehead.

I like that term.

It's very appropriate for
my profession. Right.

Right, Bones? Bonehead.
Bone. Get it?

How about this-- ass hat?

The guy was a real ass hat.

Oh, we're terrible.

I won't tell if you don't.

Ass hat.

Right. Right. Okay,
right, all right.

So is Hodgins any closer to
finding out about the pecan poop?

He's narrowing it down.

It will tell us
where he was killed

before he was moved
to the cornfield.

Poisoned, shot,
and rolled in poo-poo.

Twit.

Chowder head.

Numbskull.

We really are terrible.

We're terrible.
We're bad.

We're really terrible.
Doofus.

They've arrested one of
Ed Samuel's sister-wives.

I heard. But she wasn't
trying to kill him?

Only maim him. We still don't know
the identity of the shooter.

What do you
think of this?

Angela asked me
to take a look.

But something's
not right.

Did she check the figures

pertaining to the bullet's
angle and velocity?

They're accurate.

And placing

the assailant

directly over
the victim

is consistent
with the blowback

and the direction of the beveling.
True.

But why wouldn't the victim
get back up?

It takes two hands

to shoot someone
through a potato.

I see your point.

The kinesiology
is questionable.

I'll need you to gather

all of the possible weapons

and measure the length
of each barrel immediately.

Then prepare full
ballistics reports.

I don't...

I don't think so.

Why not?

Y... You don't need me tonight.

Of course I do.

But it can wait, can't it?

I... suppose.

It's important, but...

So is... my love life.

I-I'm...

gonna go home
and get ready for a date.

See you tomorrow.

Where's she going?

To have sex
with Dr. Lidner.

Oh. Good for Dr. Saroyan.

I have an idea.

Please lie down.

What?

Oh, one of these.

Okay. Ed Samuel was

a fairly large man.

What would the
killer have to do

to subdue him?
Oh! Ow!

The perimortum bruise
on the iliac crest!

One woman could not have
overcome the victim.

Well, are you talking
about multiple killers?

No. We found no evidence
to support that theory.

I believe this crime
was committed by one man.

A man who feeds turkeys.

Based upon?
Are you two familiar

with the principles
of aviary digestion?

No.
No.

In the simplest terms,

the digested pecan particulate
we found in the blowback

is the result of intense
dehydration and compression,

thanks to the unique gizzard
structure of the common turkey.

Is there an uncommon turkey?

Yes. The oscellated turkey,

lives solely
in the Yucatan Peninsula.

But assuming this crime
happened in Virginia...

I asked the co-op
to provide a list

of who feeds turkeys
in the area,

and take a look.

Dan Lambertt is on this list,

the victim's father-in-law.

Mm-hmm.

We go to where he
keeps his turkeys,

I bet we find the bullet.

♪ And if the past's
a distant land ♪

♪ Maybe there is no rhyme
or reason ♪

♪ And we have sticks and stones
and bruises ♪

♪ Can we do undo
what has been done? ♪

♪ Is this the way
destiny chooses? ♪

Fire in the hole!

♪ And if the past's
a distant land ♪

♪ Maybe there is no rhyme
or reason. ♪

Found this gun
in your septic tank,

and the bullet
was right here.

How could he do that
to my girls?

He was having an affair;
he was cheating on them.

Weren't three wives enough?

You understand,

don't you, Agent Booth?

You know why I did this.

That doesn't make it right.

I tried to talk
some sense into him.

He wouldn't listen.

Well, that doesn't
give you the right

to take it in your own hands
and do what you did.

♪ I see a mountain,
see an ocean ♪

♪ See the years that bring
moon and tide ♪

♪ Close together ♪

♪ "Settle down,"
I said to myself ♪

♪ Things that come with time ♪

♪ Will always be better... ♪

- Hey.
- Hey.

- Oh, hi! Hey. - Hi, Cam.
- Hi, guys.

You'll be relieved

to know at we
caught the killer.

Oh, good.
Who-who did it ?

The father of
the sister-wives.

Wait, isn't that

your prospective
partner over there?

It is.

Hey, Doc.

Hey.

I am such a fool.

Would you like
to join us?

Oh, God, no.

N... I mean, no. No.

You guys can...

- Yeah, I think she wants to be alone.
- Oh.

You look beautiful.

Thank you.

Well, a night off
can do wonders.

Yeah. It's nice, isn't it?

We should make it a habit.

Let me get your coat.

Wow, is that my scarf?

Yeah.

Go ahead.

They make a nice couple, don't they?

Yeah, they do.

Should you call Hannah
and ask her to join us?

She enjoys drinking
alcohol very much.

Nah, she's working
late, you know?

Hey. Hey, could I get
the usual here?

Coming up.

So, this case proves
that, um, two's company.

You were right.

The Samuel wives only
appeared to be happy

with their arrangement.

Right. The one guy who was happy
ended up dead.

Do you think Ed Samuel loved
all of his wives equally?

No, mm-mm, he loved
the first one the most.

- How do you know?
- The schedule.

But each week each wife was
assigned two nights apiece,

and he spent
Sunday nights alone.

Well, he was supposed
to spend Sunday

alone.
He didn't?

He went back to the first one.

He did? Every Sunday,
that's what they said.

What does that mean?

Well, it means, Bones, that,
you know, you could love

a lot of people in this world,

but there's only one person
that you love the most.

Well, how do you know
which person you love the most

when you're confused
by chemical messages

traveling throughout
your limbic system?

You just do.

What if you let
that person get away?

That person's not
going anywhere.

We are a good team, all of us.
The best.