Bones (2005–2017): Season 11, Episode 6 - The Senator in the Street Sweeper - full transcript
The team races against the clock to find out who killed a US Senator from Virginia before a vital press conference that may promote the killer.
Murray, did you just litter?
Here's the way I figure it.
The more trash out there, the more job security
in here, right? 10-4 on that.
(both laugh)
Yo, yo, look out, look out, look out, look out!
(tires screech)
Ah, it's just a stupid raccoon.
All right, get out there and pick up the trash.
Are you kidding me?!
You go out there!
First of all, that trash looks ripe.
Second, raccoons have rabies, man.
Your mother has rabies.
Your mother has rabies.
Your mother has the rabies.
Sal, just drive around the thing.
I got a better idea.
Let's see what this thing can do.
(laughs)
(laughs) Yeah, there you go!
(whoops)
(engine grinds, stops)
So much for job security.
Relax, it's probably nothing.
Let's check it out.
(laughs)
This is one of your stupid practical jokes, right?
Did Joan Q put you up to this?
Dude...
This is nice work. This is your best prank yet.
How'd you make the blood? Is it corn syrup?
Don't-don't...
Tastes like metal.
(gags, retches)
(coughing)
(laughs)
Hurling. Nice touch.
That's a good prank.
Booth, I just got a text from Cam about a potential...
Wh-What are you doing?
Oh, sorry about that.
I was gonna surprise you, but you know what, hey.
I'm getting us a new TV.
What, in the bedroom? Yeah, so when the kids are watching
The Octopods and the-- I don't know what that show is--
The Spudnuts, I'll tell you what,
I'll sit right here, I can watch the game.
Are you aware that couples with a television in their bedroom
have sex half as often
as couples without one in their bedroom?
Yeah, well, did you know 73% of people make up statistics?
I haven't read that study. Don't worry about it, Bones.
Gonna be great.
Watching the Philadelphia Whosits play ice hockey
is not a sexual stimulant.
And after games, you're often exhausted
from shouting at the umpire. It's a referee.
Well, not to mention your bad mood when they lose.
Yeah, but when the Philadelphia Flyers win,
when they score and they win, okay,
that puts me in a very good mood,
and that makes what I do there that much better.
Boom! Go, Flyers.
What if the Whosits have a losing season?
N-N-N-Nuh. Don't even put it out there.
Don't even put it out in the atmosphere.
I'll tell you what.
Tell you what I'm gonna do.
I promise I'll make some, uh, extra time for us.
How much extra time?
Hmm. As much as it takes.
Oh, I suggest you prove it right now.
Oh, we got to get going. Cam is...
Oh, actually research has shown that sexual activity
increases neurogenesis in the hippocampus.
Wow, so sex is gonna make us smarter
and help us solve the crime.
Hello.
(Brennan laughs)
MONTENEGRO: Hey, I just got a text from Brennan.
She and Booth are gonna be delayed by about 15 minutes.
(phone chimes)
Oh, or possibly another hour.
SAROYAN: Oh, it's just as well.
It's gonna take us at least that long
to floss the remains out of these brushes.
Speaking of floss, our victim had
some super-high-quality veneers.
HODGINS: Seeing almost no insect activity,
which means he was killed less than 12 hours ago.
SAROYAN: And it looks like our victim had hair plugs.
And based on the quality of the skin grafting,
I'm guessing he paid a pretty penny for them.
WARREN: Huh, you're lucky you found that scalp still intact.
I mean, this body is seriously frakked up.
"Frakked up"?
Jessica's been binge-watching BSG 2003.
SAROYAN: Not to sound like Dr. Brennan,
but I don't know what that means.
BSG. Battlestar Galactica.
What, you haven't seen it?
Wow, I'm surprised, 'cause it's totally old school,
just like you.
And also frakking enlightening.
HODGINS: "Frak" is the curse word they use on the show,
but what's really frakking interesting
is that Aubrey told me he's been watching Battlestar as well.
Well, that's because we're watching together.
Oh, well, that is
definitely interesting.
Sounds to me like there's a little something going on
with you and Aubrey.
Yes, television-watching. And nothing else.
Methinks the lady doth protest too much.
And methinks the victim was a U.S. senator.
Are you serious?
HODGINS: Can I see that?
Yeah, Cam is right.
This pin is meant to be worn only by members of the Senate.
Angela, we're gonna need a facial reconstruction, ASAP.
Okay, I'm way ahead of you.
So we know there's a hundred U.S. senators, right?
Now we just have to narrow it down.
We know the victim was a Caucasian male.
Based on clothing size, he can't be taller than five-eight.
And based on the granularity of the auricular surfaces,
he was between 40 and 50 years old.
HODGINS: Also, he had blue eyes.
with corrective lenses.
How'd you know that, Curly?
Ugh.
MONTENEGRO: We've narrowed it down-- three matches.
And just one guy has those picture-perfect veneers.
MONTENEGRO: Well, looks like our victim is Rick O'Malley.
He's a first-term senator from Virginia.
SAROYAN: I'd better call Booth.
I have a bad feeling
this case is gonna be a frakking nightmare.
♪ ♪
You are 100,000% certain the victim is a member of Congress?
Was a member of Congress.
The use of the present tense is inaccurate
now that Senator O'Malley has been killed, dismembered,
scavenged by a raccoon
and shredded by a three-ton industrial street sweeper.
Under no circumstances
is she going with you to notify the family.
Okay, I'll tell you what, I'll make this easy.
I'll go, and I-I'll take Aubrey, all right?
What? No, no, no, no, no, no.
I've been present for hundreds of notifications.
Dr. Brennan, do you have any idea how delicate this case is?
And to be perfectly frank, you lack a certain je ne sais quoi.
Well, "je ne sais quoi" is by definition an ineffable quality.
If you could provide
a more clear criticism,
I'm sure I could make the appropriate change.
Oh, come on, Bones, you know what she's talking about.
Well, not always, you have a tendency to say
the exact wrong thing at the worst possible moment.
BRENNAN: And then other times,
I say exactly what is needed.
Like this morning when I skillfully negotiated sex,
not just once
but twice.
God bless you, child.
I couldn't have proven my point better myself.
(whispering): Know what, it was three times.
(sighs)
AUBREY: I can't believe the victim is Rick O'Malley.
BOOTH: Oh, you know him?
I don't know him know him, but I follow the news.
O'Malley was different.
Before his time in the Senate,
he worked mostly blue-collar jobs.
Yeah, he was the general manager
for a coal mining company.
Look, you're not the only one who reads the file, you know.
I-I'm just saying that he wasn't
one of these career politicians.
He was a throwback.
A Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, if you will.
And I kind of dig that.
I mean, aren't you sick of these politicians
who are just out for themselves?
Clearly not as sick as you.
Well, I just think it's inspiring that the guy
actually cared about his constituents.
Oh. Sounds like maybe Mr. Aubrey should go to Washington.
That's the plan.
Not this election cycle, of course,
but there's a seat opening in 2020.
(chuckles): Wow, wow, okay.
You're... you're serious.
So you got, like, what, a five-year plan?
It's more like ten years.
But something I've been eyeing for a while.
"Congressman Aubrey."
Senator. Oh.
Yeah, don't shortchange me, man.
Right, Mr. Senator.
Good news is, at a minimum,
I'll be able to run a tox screen
and check for his last meal, 'cause the stomach is...
more or less intact.
I'd say less, not more.
WARREN: Here.
It appears to be the right femur.
HODGINS: This case is a first for me.
I've never actually worked on someone that I voted for.
You voted for a Democrat? SAROYAN: You sound surprised.
I thought Dr. Hodgins was a member of
the Green Party like myself. HODGINS: Yeah, I used to be,
but then I figured why not vote for a candidate
who at least has a shot at winning.
I myself am a proud member of the Peace and Freedom Party.
Yeah, there's a vote that counts.
BRENNAN: Miss Warren, uh, please take a look
at the V-shaped cleft on
the right proximal femur.
WARREN: The kerf mark suggests
that it was an ax or hatchet rather than a saw.
SAROYAN: I concur.
The dismemberment cuts I've found on the flesh
were definitely caused by an ax, albeit one with a dull edge.
Well, great.
We have our motive.
The killer had an ax to grind.
(reporters murmuring)
BOOTH: Great. Press is already here.
Remind me to tell Caroline there's a leak at the Bureau.
Are you the FBI? Was Senator O'Malley murdered?
Was this some kind of a political retribution?
All right, you want to back off?
This is official FBI business.
No, damn it, I told you before.
No press statements without prior approval.
I don't care if Diane Sawyer is calling.
No.
Mrs. O'Malley?
I'm Special Agent Booth. This here is Agent Aubrey.
We're sorry that the news got out
before we could come tell you in person.
Oh, it's not your fault.
Nothing in our lives has been private
ever since Rick took office.
Why should his death be any different?
So living in the public eye was pretty difficult? It has been.
Uh, but public service was very important to both of us.
Rick and I grew up in Buchanan County.
And the whole reason he went into politics was
to try to save as many local jobs as possible.
You mean coal mining.
MRS. O'MALLEY: That's right. Yeah, most of the folks we knew
had at least one family member in the tunnels.
Judging by all these awards,
it looks like your husband's fighting spirit
was appreciated.
Rick was nothing short of a revelation.
Eric Morales, Rick's chief of staff.
BOOTH: We'll have to ask both of you--
when was the last time you, uh, saw the senator?
Wednesday afternoon at the office. Yesterday morning.
Uh, I had to go to UVA to deliver a speech.
I stayed the night in Charlottesville.
And then when I got home this morning,
I just figured he was at work.
I never would have thought...
AUBREY: What about enemies?
I imagine even the most beloved politicians receive threats.
MORALES: Generally speaking, Rick was
one of the more popular of the freshman senators.
He had his choice of committees.
But you're right, there were some unhappy constituents.
I'd be more than willing to turn over any e-mails or letters
that we got at the office.
So have you noticed anything out of the ordinary?
What was the senator's, I don't know, state of mind
in the past few days?
I hate to say it, but recently Rick has been...
aloof, at least with me.
He's been receiving phone calls at all hours
from the party's whip.
And by party's whip, you mean Senator Hayley Winters?
That's right.
Look, I love my husband,
and I would not want to make accusations,
especially now, but...
BOOTH: But you-you were suspicious he was
having an affair with Senator Winters. MORALES: No.
No, of course they weren't. He was always with her.
Even last night.
They were supposedly at some fund-raiser together.
Seeley Booth, I never thought the day would come
when even glancing at those chiseled features of yours
would set me off. Come on.
The whip may have been the last person who has seen
Senator O'Malley alive.
I have to talk to her.
Cher, there is no way
in H-E-double-hockey-sticks
I am allowing you to haul the Senate majority whip
into the FBI without any evidence of her involvement.
(chuckles): Look, Caroline... No, no, no, no.
Don't try to convince me with those sweet dulcet tones.
We call in the whip,
and the Justice Department becomes fodder
for Sunday Morning talk shows, and, cher,
that is not how I plan to make
my first appearance on Meet the Press.
Good news. You brought me an antacid.
I just got off the phone with the whip's office.
Senator Winters wants Booth
down on Capitol Hill ASAP to brief her on the case.
I swear you are blessed by the Almighty himself.
Okay, great. You ready to saddle up?
Actually, uh, Winters requested Dr. Brennan.
I guess she used to be a doctor,
wants to hear the forensic side of the case.
Holy mother of pearl,
just bring me the whole bottle
of antacids right now.
Your wife doesn't know the meaning
of "playing politics." BOOTH: Relax, okay?
I will handle Bones. Bones will be fine, okay?
And if you have a whole bottle of antacids,
your stomach's gonna blow up, all right?
"H-E-double-hockey-sticks"? What the hell is that?
Now, just what are you doing
while those two mess up in Congress?
Why do I sense
that you're about to tell me?
That ginger-haired squintern girl in the lab.
Jessica? What about her?
Justice wants you to run a background check on her
to make sure she's clear to work on such a high-profile case.
I'm on it, but don't worry.
I know Jessica. I'm not gonna find anything.
My thought is the victim tried to fend off his attacker.
Please tell me this isn't just one of your vibes talking.
Oh, no, instinct and evidence.
They are singing in perfect harmony.
Note the spider-web fractures on the ulna.
SAROYAN: Ouch.
Looks like the senator
was trying to defend himself, and the killer hit him
with a long, flat, blunt force weapon.
Any idea what it was? Not yet,
but I also found hemorrhagic staining
on the right side of the maxilla.
So a blow to the head.
I haven't pieced the skull together yet, but hopefully
that'll tell us more.
Well, then work quickly.
You should try to find cause of death
before Dr. Brennan gets back.
Aye-aye, captain.
BRENNAN: Booth, I know Caroline is concerned
because I don't play politics, so I want to assure you
that I will be on my best behavior.
I hope not.
Excuse me?
Look, I just want you to be you.
You know, you, your usual, wonderful,
but very direct self.
And what if I say something
that could be misconstrued as offensive?
Yeah, you will.
And that's exactly what I'm counting on.
You see, because then Winters will react,
and I'll get a read on her.
Oh, very clever.
So I should think of this as an undercover assignment,
but you want me to play myself.
You're overthinking this.
I could play a slight variation on myself.
I could be saucy.
Or I could speak with an accent.
No, Bones.
Don't-don't do that.
Just-just be you. That's all I need.
I just want you to be you. That's all I need.
Oh, okay. I'm just saying.
(imitating Humphrey Bogart): This could be the start
of a beautiful friendship.
Really? You're gonna go with Bogart?
Well, I got over-excited, but you have to admit,
that's an excellent impersonation.
This is such a tragic day.
Rick was a dear, dear man.
I want you to know you have the full power of my office
behind you during the investigation.
Well, that is very sensible of you,
particularly if we discover that the crime
involved any other members of your party.
BOOTH: I think what my partner here is trying to say
is that politicians like to get ahead of the problem,
before it kind of blows up in their faces.
Indeed.
Naturally, it also behooves you
to prepare the necessary lie for the public.
BOOTH: Speaking of which, is that
the, uh, damage control room in there?
WINTERS: No, actually, my aides are rushing
to prepare a bill to increase the debt ceiling.
Last thing we need is another government shutdown.
It must be quite difficult for your staff to put
all that into their work, knowing it is unlikely
for any senator to actually read it before a vote.
I must ask if we could return to the investigation.
Sure, let's back it up a bit, Bones, you know.
I find myself quite curious
as to how you plan to spin the fact
that Senator O'Malley was hacked to pieces.
So you're saying
Rick was dismembered? What's interesting
is the placement of the hack marks.
As a former surgeon,
you know it is ideal to cut along the joints.
Killer didn't do that. He chopped all over the place.
So whoever did this is likely ignorant of human anatomy.
Or the killer is cunning
and is trying to mislead the investigation.
Perhaps we should bring this discussion into my office.
Great idea.
(quietly): Good job, Bones.
Hey.
Oh, hey.
Is that for me? Oh, yes.
I sure as hell am not drinking any catnip tea.
Wow, you remembered my drink.
It's definitely an acquired taste,
but I guess that sums me up in a nutshell, too.
So... uh, so what's up?
Oh, um, well, Caroline asked me to clear you for the case,
so I had to run a background check.
Is this about the time I peed at the Lincoln Memorial?
Because I had a terrible UTI that day.
Um, no.
Somehow that detail was left out.
But...
were you involved with Greenpeace in college?
Yeah, so?
So you were engaged with an activist group
known for its aggressive tactics.
Now, is that you in the crowd?
Mm-hmm.
Look, brillo-head,
you're getting me kind of nervous here.
So were you present five minutes after this photo was taken
when a pipe bomb exploded outside of the building?
Greenpeace had nothing to do with that,
and neither did I.
We were the victims.
Just check the police reports.
Okay. And then what about
when you were on the road with the band Phish?
There were no bombs there.
Yeah, there were drugs.
I know. I had a great time.
Um...
but that was then.
What are you saying?
That my past is gonna ruin my future?
Okay, so just to be clear, you-you don't do drugs anymore?
I haven't in a while,
but that doesn't mean I'm never gonna do them again.
Uh, I never say never.
(sighs)
Everything okay? Yeah.
Yeah, no, I'm just trying to figure out
how to report this back to Caroline.
You could just... not.
I mean, everything in that file is in the before.
I am who I am because of my past,
but I'm not the same person anymore.
Are you the same kid
who watched his dad being hauled off to jail?
No.
So?
Hey, stop that.
You don't get to look at me all disappointed like that.
No, I'm not,
I'm not disappointed.
I'm-I'm just, um...
Can we just forget this conversation ever happened?
I don't know.
Can you?
BOOTH: So, O'Malley's chief of staff said that you had
frequent meetings with the senator.
His wife also said that you called him
at all hours of the day and night.
That's right. I like to maintain
a close working relationship with freshman senators.
"Working" relationship?
What are you implying?
As you undoubtedly know,
political figures often use their positions of power
to circumvent conventional mores
and engage in extramarital affairs.
Well, I'm flattered that you think
that I have the stamina for an affair,
but I assure you, there was nothing between us.
Right, and yet you were at the fund-raiser
with him last night, correct?
I mean, that was the last place
he was seen. You don't think someone
from the fund-raiser murdered him?
I don't know, why don't you tell me.
I mean, this is politics.
Somebody must have a grudge against him.
Not within the party.
Still, I'm happy to provide you
with the guest list.
Actually, now that I think about it,
there was an incident.
This handful of protestors.
The security had them removed,
but I remember Rick seeming unnerved.
He left shortly after.
You think the two events are connected?
It's possible.
What were the protests against?
An amendment to the debt ceiling bill.
One that hit Rick pretty close to home.
It's an order to reduce coal emissions.
O'Malley's platform
was in support of coal miners.
So why would the protestors make him a target?
Because Rick was going to vote in favor of the bill,
despite the added measure.
And let me guess, you're the one
who persuaded him to vote against his conscience.
Sometimes, Agent Booth,
we all have to make sacrifices for the sake of the party.
HODGINS: Hey.
Wanted to see me?
Yeah, Booth called.
Apparently, Senator O'Malley left the fund-raising dinner
before the actual meal was served.
You want me to do some digestive diving,
figure out what he ate?
Yeah, maybe we can figure out
where he dined on his last meal.
Looks like some kind of poultry.
It's gamier than chicken.
I don't know, possibly quail?
Okay, whatever you guys are working on,
I do not want to know about it.
What do you got? So I was able
to get surveillance video from outside the building
where the fund-raising event was held.
Is that Senator O'Malley?
Pixilation is terrible.
Like an '80s video game.
Yeah, and here comes Donkey Kong.
HODGINS: Whoa.
Kong looks pissed.
It's hard to see his face.
Yeah, the quality is bad, but I think it's safe to say
that this guy is angry enough to kill.
So, did you do your homework
on that Jessica Warren creature,
or do I need to rap your knuckles?
I did it.
She's got some skeletons in her closet,
but then again, she is a forensic anthropologist.
Cute.
You know how much I love cute.
She's good to go.
Uh, nothing serious enough to warrant a mistrial.
But I think you already knew that.
Look, cher, I'm just trying to make sure
you've got both eyes wide open.
You have a bright future ahead of you.
But first you need to find yourself
the right kind of woman.
You asking me out?
Cher, you couldn't handle me.
(chuckles)
Look, I appreciate everything you're doing,
but I promise you there's nothing going on
between me and Jessica.
Good. Now, where are we at?
Angela found footage of this behemoth
arguing with the senator last night.
Problem is, the quality is so bad,
she can't run it through facial recognition.
No need.
I'd recognize that man in the dark
with my pretty little eyes blindfolded.
You got a name? Frankie Cesari.
Wait, why does that sound familiar?
Cesari's the unofficial president
of the coal mining lobby in Virginia.
You watch out for yourself.
I wouldn't put anything past that man.
Not after he evaded my embezzling charges
by disappearing his accuser.
"Disappearing"?
Body was never found.
Good chance the fellow has cement feet.
Disposing of the victim fits our killer's M.O.
Exactly.
So, you do me a favor.
Make sure you nail the slimeball to the wall.
I'll tell you what.
I'll let you do it with me.
Well, look what the trash dragged in.
What-what the hell?
This is entrapment.
Entrapment?
(scoffs): Oh.
It is a damn shame, Frankie,
that a dictionary doesn't come with that mouth.
Sit down, please.
Thank you.
So, we've got some video of you
getting into a pretty heated argument
with Senator O'Malley last night.
So what?
It's a free country.
And I got the right to petition my legislators.
But what you don't have is the right to kill him.
Oh, come on.
You guys think I killed him?
I'm a businessman. All we ever did was talk!
Okay, so what did you talk about last night?
The debt ceiling bill.
I just asked him how he was planning to vote.
CAROLINE: Looked to me like you were
none too pleased with his answer.
AUBREY: What did you do?
Followed him after the fund-raiser?
Beat on him until he saw things your way?
Wow. You guys should be writers
the way you come up with these stories.
None of the above, actually.
O'Malley said
he was undecided.
CAROLINE: And you believed him?
Ah, Frankie, you are even dumber
than you are ugly.
Of course I didn't believe him.
That's why I went home
and started working on a picket line.
I got phone records and everything
to prove it.
So what?
So you gonna admit you were wrong? You gonna let me go?
Soon as your alibi checks out, yeah.
Of course, that could take a while.
I were you, I'd get cozy.
Hey, hey, hey, you can't keep me in here.
That's illegal. Come on, Frankie.
You never let the law get in your way.
Why start now?
WARREN: Hey.
I've reassembled the skull, and it is ready for its close-up.
Impressive. Given the damage inflicted,
I thought this would've taken you much longer.
Yeah, well, I find that
when I'm feeling emotionally unstable,
concentrating on my work helps me to cope.
Like I said, this is very good work.
Okay, if she's not gonna take that bait, I will.
What's the problem?
Uh, well, technically, there is no actual problem,
because there's nothing actually going on.
But there is potential.
And I don't think you just squash potential
until there is an actual problem.
BRENNAN: I did not understand
a word you just said.
Don't worry, I'm with you.
I mean, just because something
is unlikely to be successful--
like, say a relationship--
doesn't mean you don't try, right?
BRENNAN: I disagree.
If you know the likelihood of an outcome
is statistically unfavorable, that thing should be avoided.
Like a TV in the bedroom.
Okay, now I don't know what you're saying.
Oh, um,
Booth wants a TV in the bedroom, but Brennan doesn't
because she heard that statistically
it's less likely she'll have sex.
I find it is safer to adhere to the percentages.
Yeah, but it's also boring.
I mean, sometimes the best things in life
happen against the odds.
Think about anything you've ever really wanted.
Right? Like a perfect job or-or...
finding the love of your life.
Those are one-in-a-million chances, right?
But for you,
the odds don't even apply
until you're both clear about what you want.
Thank you, Angela.
That was, like, the best talk/monologue
I've ever been part of.
As to the injuries to the victim's skull?
Oh, yes.
Check out the damage
on the right zygomatic, mandible and maxilla.
These fractures are perimortem.
The damage is suggestive of
a blunt force weapon with an uneven surface,
at least 12 centimeters in diameter.
What, like a big rock?
Which is not at all like the straight-edge weapon
used to fracture the ulna.
So, multiple weapons.
Perhaps multiple killers.
Hey, so I just finished my analysis of the food
in Senator O'Malley's stomach.
Turns out, the guy's last meal was pigeon.
Ew!
Was he hanging out with hobos?
Either that or Granny Clampett picked up some roadkill.
I-I don't know what that means.
But several Far Eastern cultures
consider pigeon-- particularly pigeon heads--
to be delicacies.
But how many Far Eastern restaurants in the D.C. area
actually serve pigeon?
I do not know.
However, I believe Agent Aubrey is quite knowledgeable
when it comes to local cuisine.
Perhaps you could call him and ask.
I figured out who you were talking about.
How you doing, chickadee?
For an Internet- based society,
D.C. sure seems to be stuck in the trees-killing era.
That all O'Malley's? Yep.
Guy is clean as a whistle.
Except... this.
It's a copy of his personal financial statements
dating back three years.
Now, you see that withdrawal for two G's?
Staring me right in the face.
That's a recurring withdrawal.
Always for $2,000.
Always the same time of the month.
Sounds like drugs, you ask me.
Well, according to Cam,
his tox report was negative,
so I'm leaning towards prostitutes.
So maybe the wife was right
and her husband was having an affair.
Just not with Senator Winters.
My thoughts exactly. So I tracked down the cab driver
that picked O'Malley up from the fund-raising dinner.
He said that he, uh,
dropped O'Malley off at some Indonesian restaurant downtown.
Where he met his lover.
Cabbie remembers seeing
a young woman embracing O'Malley outside of the restaurant,
which incidentally serves the best pigeon in town.
Ew.
(groans)
Oh, what's that smell?
Oh, that would be durian,
referred to in Indonesia as the king of fruit,
frequently added to sayur.
Remind me to get some to take home.
So our home can smell like a foot.
I mean, who needs a TV to get in the way of our sex life
when we have foot smell, right?
Table for two? No.
FBI. We have A-rating for clean.
You could see! That's great.
You know what? I'm not interested.
You know him? Ah, Rick.
Kind man. He have big appetite.
Good tipper. Why? He in trouble?
When was the last time you saw him? Yesterday.
Nighttime. He good friend with waitress.
Well, that could be his lover, Booth.
Great, okay. Is she working here tonight?
You not hurt her?
I just want to talk to her, okay?
Anissa!
BRENNAN: Booth? BOOTH: Yeah?
I don't think Senator O'Malley
was having an affair with that woman.
BOOTH: Why's that?
BRENNAN: Based on the pronounced zygomatics,
the high orbital ridge of her face,
I'm quite confident that this is
Senator O'Malley's daughter.
Rick O'Malley is my biological father.
Is something wrong? Is he in trouble?
Biological father? So, you were adopted?
Him and my mom had a one-night stand.
I didn't know who he was until four years ago.
And when you turned 18,
you could legally obtain your birth record.
Yeah. BRENNAN: I imagine
that you would be upset that your father abandoned you
for your entire childhood.
That would be hard on any child,
no matter what their age. No.
I mean, sure, I-I wondered about him.
But, I don't know, it was never a thing.
And when you found out
he was a senator, you saw there was opportunity.
Excuse me? BRENNAN: We know Senator O'Malley
withdrew $2,000 monthly from his bank account.
We can only assume he made those same deposits
into your account.
So, I mean, what happened?
Did you threaten to tell the press that he had
an illegitimate daughter if he didn't pay?
No, no. He was just helping me with college like a dad does.
I don't buy it. I mean, if he really
supported you, why didn't you make a public statement?
Because I asked him not to.
The first time that he ran for Senate,
he asked me to be a part of the campaign,
but I didn't want to be some D.C. scandal.
Didn't he tell you all of this? Why are you here?
I take it you haven't been watching the news?
No, I've been in class all day. Why?
I'm sorry to tell you,
but your-your father was killed last night.
No, no, no, no.
(stammers) He-he couldn't have been.
I just, I was with... I just saw...
Last night, you were with him,
and as far as we know, from what we can gather,
you were the last person who saw him alive.
So, what? You think I killed him?
No. No, no, no, no.
He-he came here all the time.
It wasn't out of the ordinary.
We would
sit and-and eat and talk.
And what about last night?
Um...
He was upset.
He-he said something about a vote, that the party
was making him vote a way he didn't want to.
Did he say what he was intending to do?
No, just...
I-I told him to follow his heart.
Okay, and what time did he leave?
Um, I-I drove him home, around 11:00.
The last time I saw him, he was...
he was headed inside.
See this abrasion on the left temporal?
Here?
That is directly behind where the ear would be.
I took a measurement.
It has the same radius as a 31-gauge needle.
Makes sense-- an ideal place to poison someone
is behind the ear because a coroner seldom looks there.
But the tox screen came back negative.
Well, I have a thought on that.
What if the killer first tried to poison O'Malley,
make it look like he died of natural causes?
But then he fought back,
causing the needle to scrape along the skull
before being torn out.
Exactly. Her first method of murder failing,
the killer turned to a more
brutal means to end things.
"Her"?
Poison is a murder weapon
most often used by women.
Although, I think I'm more of a flamethrower kind of gal.
Well, it's important to have flair.
You know it.
Have Hodgins swab the abrasion; maybe he can
figure out what type of poison was being used.
Statistically, women are five times more likely
than men to use poison as a murder weapon.
So, playing the odds, leaves us the wife,
the illegitimate child and the majority whip.
If this case isn't D.C., I don't know what is.
I had my money on the whip.
She was a doctor before she came to politics.
She'd have the easiest access to poison and needles.
If you ask me,
I'd guess the wife, except for that pesky alibi of hers.
Except... she doesn't have one.
I talked to the manager of the hotel
where she stayed near UVA.
No one saw her or heard from her between 10:00 p.m. and 7:00 a.m.
Plenty of time to drive home,
kill the senator, then return to the hotel.
Also, Lynette O'Malley is a diabetic.
And guess what size needle her pharmacy says she uses?
31-gauge? Bingo.
Same size that the squints found on the victim's skull.
Okay, I'm convinced.
I'll get a warrant for the house.
You get Booth and get over there now.
BOOTH: Once we get to the house,
just let me do all the talking, you understand?
(scoffs) Gee, thanks, Dad, but I can handle myself.
All right, look, Aubrey, I know you know what to do.
But I'm just saying, if you're serious about getting
into politics one day, you just, you have to be careful
about what you say, Aubrey. Okay.
I'll hang back. Good, all right.
(phone rings) Bones, what is it?
Hodgins found traces of a poison called succinylcholine
on the abrasion to the skull.
I think I've heard of that stuff.
It is often considered
an ideal homicidal poison
because its half-life is exceptionally short,
meaning the body metabolizes it so rapidly,
it would be untraceable in the blood.
Well, that's why the tox screen came back negative.
Precisely.
Maybe I'm being hopeful, but the ideal homicidal poison--
I'm guessing that stuff isn't sold in the local drugstore.
No. However, it is common to hospitals
because of its use as a paralytic.
BOOTH: You know who has admitting privileges
at D.C. West Hospital?
Majority whip. Senator Winters.
(indistinct chatter)
Okay, great. Is it me or does it just look like
there's more of them here than before?
Looks like a press conference. I'm telling you, right?
Agent Booth, can we ask you some questions?
Does the FBI have a suspect in custody?
Is that the announcement you're gonna be making today?
Agent Booth, has there been some sort of development
in my husband's case? Sorry, what's going on here?
Looks like you're about to make a statement to the press.
AUBREY: I'd remind you this is an ongoing investigation,
and there is information that we are not yet
releasing to the public. No, I promise
the announcement has nothing to do with the investigation.
MORALES: Governor Doland will be
arriving shortly to announce his invocation
of the Widow's Mandate. What are you talking about?
When a senator dies while in office,
it falls to the governor to appoint a replacement
for the remainder of the term.
Historically, governors have
selected a lawmaker's widow,
as she's most likely to share his political ideology.
So, what? He's gonna appoint her now? Today?
That is his intention. AUBREY: No. No.
Th-That's motive, okay? Cancel the press conference.
Aubrey, just back down. I got this.
We need to ask you a few questions, Mrs. O'Malley.
WINTERS: No.
Lynette, don't say a word.
You're out of line.
Have a seat, Senator.
I got a couple questions for you, as well.
I've been back and forth over these remains
a kabillion times, and I'm not seeing anything new.
Ms. Warren, you need to calm yourself.
I know, but Booth and Aubrey
are holding Senator Winters
and Lynette O'Malley until we find something.
I thought you were more focused
when feeling emotionally unstable.
What can I say?
Angela's pep talk worked.
Emotionally, I'm as fit as a fiddle,
which means my focus
is a little fidgety.
What about this nick near the coracoid process
inside the glenoid cavity? It's in my notes.
It's a hack mark from the dismemberment.
I don't think so.
Note the hemorrhagic staining inside the wound.
Its location suggests
the subclavian artery was likely penetrated,
causing the victim to bleed out.
So sharp force trauma--
on top of the two distinct
blunt force injuries we found earlier.
That's three weapons in all.
Note the blue staining deep inside the nick.
Uh, so, what?
Most of the bones were stained
when they went through the street sweeper.
True. However, the blue inside this wound
is too deep to have been left by the street sweeper.
So he was killed with a paintbrush?
I need to talk to Angela.
My gut tells me
we're not looking at three separate weapons.
Your gut?
Well, it's a vibe. (chuckles)
There's a time and a place, Ms. Warren.
Agent Aubrey, so far I've heard no evidence
that should stop the governor
moving forward with his appointment.
I need to know,
was there anyone, anyone at all,
that can corroborate that you were at the hotel? No.
I was exhausted and I passed out the minute I got to the room.
You don't even have proof the the senator was killed at home.
BOOTH: Ah, look what I found in the garage, huh?
Same size that was used to chop up the body.
AUBREY: Looks like we found your proof.
BRENNAN: We know the victim was struck
by three seemingly disparate objects.
The first is a sharp
V-shaped cleft.
The second injury
was the result of a long, hard, flat surface
striking the ulna. Yeah. Well, whatever it is,
it measures at least 20 centimeters.
The third injury was caused by an uneven, rocky surface.
The blow to the side of the face.
The perimortem damage
was just under eight centimeters.
I don't see it.
Each of these shapes is completely distinct.
Angela,
position the rocky surface on top,
rotating it 180 degrees.
Now position the flat edge
several inches below that, horizontally,
with the sharp force trauma outline to the left of that.
Wait a second.
Why does that look familiar? Because you live in it.
That is the great Commonwealth of Virginia.
Oh.
Well, how can a state be a murder weapon?
Well, unless the state of Virginia is composed of coal, it's not.
What did you find? The blue you saw in the stab wound
is the result of petrified coal.
It can turn organic tissue blue.
I need to call Booth.
This is ridiculous.
The press is literally on our doorstep.
Relax. Like Agent Aubrey said,
this is an ongoing investigation.
(phone rings) They can't release any information to the public.
Bones, what do you got?
BRENNAN: The murder weapon is
a statue or an award or something
in the shape of Virginia.
It's made of petrified coal.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Booth, what are you looking for?
BOOTH: This.
Okay.
Bones, I got it.
(sniffs)
There's only one problem. It smells like bleach.
We're not gonna be able to find any blood evidence on it.
We don't need it.
You see the rough edge of the statue?
The northernmost part of the state?
Bones, just tell me what I'm looking for here, okay?
The killer must have used
extreme force when striking the victim.
If the murder weapon
was held by that side,
it is likely she cut herself on it.
Okay, so you're saying there was a cut
on the killer's hand?
There's a very good chance
that the coal stained the tissue
at the site of the cut.
Look for blue discoloration.
Got it. Thanks.
Okay, break it up, let's go.
I need to see the palms of both your hands.
Why? I demand to know what you're looking for.
Put your palms out.
(sighs)
BOOTH: No blue.
No blue.
Mr. Morales.
Let's see the palms of your hands, please.
I don't even know what this is about.
It's about you following simple directions.
Now do what the man said.
Look at that.
Blue.
Eric?
You two were having an affair.
MORALES: I'm sorry, Lynette.
I swear to you, she had nothing to do with this.
Rick was gonna vote against the party.
I tried to tell him, but no. He's just so damn stubborn.
He was gonna ruin our future, for what?
A handful of jobs? I couldn't let that happen.
You knew about the Widow's Mandate.
Eric, how could you?
I did it because I knew.
You and me, working together--
we could have made a real difference.
You understand how to make sacrifices
for the greater good.
And I figured that once you were done grieving, that...
Don't you love me?
AUBREY: Doesn't matter now.
(handcuffs clicking) You are under arrest
for the murder of a United States senator.
BOOTH: Let's go. Lynette...
♪ ♪
So she's officially not taking the senator's seat?
The governor withdrew his offer, which is understandable.
The whole thing's been a huge P.R. scandal for the party.
JESSICA: Do they know who they're going to appoint?
Nope.
And to tell you the truth, I don't think it really matters.
As far as I can tell,
one politician is just as bad the next.
You don't believe that.
Well, don't you?
No.
'Cause for every slime bag out there,
there's also somebody like you.
And as long as there's yous around, then I know
that there's somebody who is looking out for this country.
And me.
Except when I'm holding your past against you.
Yeah. No one's perfect.
Especially not the guy who is forcing me to eat pigeon.
Come on. I'm doing you a favor.
I'm trying to teach you about the finer things in life.
Ah, yes, the finer things.
Do you know the hours I have to work
so that I can eat something better than roadkill?
Look, just trust me on this one.
If I vomit...
You're not gonna vomit.
Well, you seem very certain of yourself. I am.
I'm also pretty certain about you.
Keep your eyes closed.
Ow. Don't run into the wall, Booth.
I'm not running, you're steering me. No, I'm not...
I can't see. You can't...
Where's the bed? You're too strong to steer.
Okay. Now, uh... no!
(laughs): Don't. It's right here.
Okay. Ow.
You just stepped on my boot. You can open.
Oh, wow. Wow!
What's this?
It is quite clearly a television.
I know that. But you know what?
But you said no. This has got to be
at least 50 inches. Fifty-six.
I was told the ideal size for a television
was half the distance from the viewing area.
This is great! I... Thank you so much for buying this.
I didn't buy it. We're leasing.
Huh? Think of this as an experiment.
If our intimacy level falls below a certain threshold,
then the TV gets returned.
What's the threshold?
A number of my choosing.
But I'm sure you can rise to the challenge.
Really?
Rising...
But not tonight, 'cause I want to watch the news.
Hey, what do you mean? Wait, what news?
I'm being interviewed for my participation in the case.
Also, there's a documentary I've been meaning to watch.
Have you seen James Cagney's White Heat?
(imitates Cagney): "Look at me, Ma! Top of the world!"
My Bogart was much better than that.
Are you kidding me?
Your Bogart sounded like Zoolander. No. Booth...
Give me that. I don't watch...
I don't watch science fiction.
All right! We'll get the game on! No, not the game.
The Flyers! Put it on! They play tonight!
(chatter continues)
What's that mean?
Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH
Here's the way I figure it.
The more trash out there, the more job security
in here, right? 10-4 on that.
(both laugh)
Yo, yo, look out, look out, look out, look out!
(tires screech)
Ah, it's just a stupid raccoon.
All right, get out there and pick up the trash.
Are you kidding me?!
You go out there!
First of all, that trash looks ripe.
Second, raccoons have rabies, man.
Your mother has rabies.
Your mother has rabies.
Your mother has the rabies.
Sal, just drive around the thing.
I got a better idea.
Let's see what this thing can do.
(laughs)
(laughs) Yeah, there you go!
(whoops)
(engine grinds, stops)
So much for job security.
Relax, it's probably nothing.
Let's check it out.
(laughs)
This is one of your stupid practical jokes, right?
Did Joan Q put you up to this?
Dude...
This is nice work. This is your best prank yet.
How'd you make the blood? Is it corn syrup?
Don't-don't...
Tastes like metal.
(gags, retches)
(coughing)
(laughs)
Hurling. Nice touch.
That's a good prank.
Booth, I just got a text from Cam about a potential...
Wh-What are you doing?
Oh, sorry about that.
I was gonna surprise you, but you know what, hey.
I'm getting us a new TV.
What, in the bedroom? Yeah, so when the kids are watching
The Octopods and the-- I don't know what that show is--
The Spudnuts, I'll tell you what,
I'll sit right here, I can watch the game.
Are you aware that couples with a television in their bedroom
have sex half as often
as couples without one in their bedroom?
Yeah, well, did you know 73% of people make up statistics?
I haven't read that study. Don't worry about it, Bones.
Gonna be great.
Watching the Philadelphia Whosits play ice hockey
is not a sexual stimulant.
And after games, you're often exhausted
from shouting at the umpire. It's a referee.
Well, not to mention your bad mood when they lose.
Yeah, but when the Philadelphia Flyers win,
when they score and they win, okay,
that puts me in a very good mood,
and that makes what I do there that much better.
Boom! Go, Flyers.
What if the Whosits have a losing season?
N-N-N-Nuh. Don't even put it out there.
Don't even put it out in the atmosphere.
I'll tell you what.
Tell you what I'm gonna do.
I promise I'll make some, uh, extra time for us.
How much extra time?
Hmm. As much as it takes.
Oh, I suggest you prove it right now.
Oh, we got to get going. Cam is...
Oh, actually research has shown that sexual activity
increases neurogenesis in the hippocampus.
Wow, so sex is gonna make us smarter
and help us solve the crime.
Hello.
(Brennan laughs)
MONTENEGRO: Hey, I just got a text from Brennan.
She and Booth are gonna be delayed by about 15 minutes.
(phone chimes)
Oh, or possibly another hour.
SAROYAN: Oh, it's just as well.
It's gonna take us at least that long
to floss the remains out of these brushes.
Speaking of floss, our victim had
some super-high-quality veneers.
HODGINS: Seeing almost no insect activity,
which means he was killed less than 12 hours ago.
SAROYAN: And it looks like our victim had hair plugs.
And based on the quality of the skin grafting,
I'm guessing he paid a pretty penny for them.
WARREN: Huh, you're lucky you found that scalp still intact.
I mean, this body is seriously frakked up.
"Frakked up"?
Jessica's been binge-watching BSG 2003.
SAROYAN: Not to sound like Dr. Brennan,
but I don't know what that means.
BSG. Battlestar Galactica.
What, you haven't seen it?
Wow, I'm surprised, 'cause it's totally old school,
just like you.
And also frakking enlightening.
HODGINS: "Frak" is the curse word they use on the show,
but what's really frakking interesting
is that Aubrey told me he's been watching Battlestar as well.
Well, that's because we're watching together.
Oh, well, that is
definitely interesting.
Sounds to me like there's a little something going on
with you and Aubrey.
Yes, television-watching. And nothing else.
Methinks the lady doth protest too much.
And methinks the victim was a U.S. senator.
Are you serious?
HODGINS: Can I see that?
Yeah, Cam is right.
This pin is meant to be worn only by members of the Senate.
Angela, we're gonna need a facial reconstruction, ASAP.
Okay, I'm way ahead of you.
So we know there's a hundred U.S. senators, right?
Now we just have to narrow it down.
We know the victim was a Caucasian male.
Based on clothing size, he can't be taller than five-eight.
And based on the granularity of the auricular surfaces,
he was between 40 and 50 years old.
HODGINS: Also, he had blue eyes.
with corrective lenses.
How'd you know that, Curly?
Ugh.
MONTENEGRO: We've narrowed it down-- three matches.
And just one guy has those picture-perfect veneers.
MONTENEGRO: Well, looks like our victim is Rick O'Malley.
He's a first-term senator from Virginia.
SAROYAN: I'd better call Booth.
I have a bad feeling
this case is gonna be a frakking nightmare.
♪ ♪
You are 100,000% certain the victim is a member of Congress?
Was a member of Congress.
The use of the present tense is inaccurate
now that Senator O'Malley has been killed, dismembered,
scavenged by a raccoon
and shredded by a three-ton industrial street sweeper.
Under no circumstances
is she going with you to notify the family.
Okay, I'll tell you what, I'll make this easy.
I'll go, and I-I'll take Aubrey, all right?
What? No, no, no, no, no, no.
I've been present for hundreds of notifications.
Dr. Brennan, do you have any idea how delicate this case is?
And to be perfectly frank, you lack a certain je ne sais quoi.
Well, "je ne sais quoi" is by definition an ineffable quality.
If you could provide
a more clear criticism,
I'm sure I could make the appropriate change.
Oh, come on, Bones, you know what she's talking about.
Well, not always, you have a tendency to say
the exact wrong thing at the worst possible moment.
BRENNAN: And then other times,
I say exactly what is needed.
Like this morning when I skillfully negotiated sex,
not just once
but twice.
God bless you, child.
I couldn't have proven my point better myself.
(whispering): Know what, it was three times.
(sighs)
AUBREY: I can't believe the victim is Rick O'Malley.
BOOTH: Oh, you know him?
I don't know him know him, but I follow the news.
O'Malley was different.
Before his time in the Senate,
he worked mostly blue-collar jobs.
Yeah, he was the general manager
for a coal mining company.
Look, you're not the only one who reads the file, you know.
I-I'm just saying that he wasn't
one of these career politicians.
He was a throwback.
A Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, if you will.
And I kind of dig that.
I mean, aren't you sick of these politicians
who are just out for themselves?
Clearly not as sick as you.
Well, I just think it's inspiring that the guy
actually cared about his constituents.
Oh. Sounds like maybe Mr. Aubrey should go to Washington.
That's the plan.
Not this election cycle, of course,
but there's a seat opening in 2020.
(chuckles): Wow, wow, okay.
You're... you're serious.
So you got, like, what, a five-year plan?
It's more like ten years.
But something I've been eyeing for a while.
"Congressman Aubrey."
Senator. Oh.
Yeah, don't shortchange me, man.
Right, Mr. Senator.
Good news is, at a minimum,
I'll be able to run a tox screen
and check for his last meal, 'cause the stomach is...
more or less intact.
I'd say less, not more.
WARREN: Here.
It appears to be the right femur.
HODGINS: This case is a first for me.
I've never actually worked on someone that I voted for.
You voted for a Democrat? SAROYAN: You sound surprised.
I thought Dr. Hodgins was a member of
the Green Party like myself. HODGINS: Yeah, I used to be,
but then I figured why not vote for a candidate
who at least has a shot at winning.
I myself am a proud member of the Peace and Freedom Party.
Yeah, there's a vote that counts.
BRENNAN: Miss Warren, uh, please take a look
at the V-shaped cleft on
the right proximal femur.
WARREN: The kerf mark suggests
that it was an ax or hatchet rather than a saw.
SAROYAN: I concur.
The dismemberment cuts I've found on the flesh
were definitely caused by an ax, albeit one with a dull edge.
Well, great.
We have our motive.
The killer had an ax to grind.
(reporters murmuring)
BOOTH: Great. Press is already here.
Remind me to tell Caroline there's a leak at the Bureau.
Are you the FBI? Was Senator O'Malley murdered?
Was this some kind of a political retribution?
All right, you want to back off?
This is official FBI business.
No, damn it, I told you before.
No press statements without prior approval.
I don't care if Diane Sawyer is calling.
No.
Mrs. O'Malley?
I'm Special Agent Booth. This here is Agent Aubrey.
We're sorry that the news got out
before we could come tell you in person.
Oh, it's not your fault.
Nothing in our lives has been private
ever since Rick took office.
Why should his death be any different?
So living in the public eye was pretty difficult? It has been.
Uh, but public service was very important to both of us.
Rick and I grew up in Buchanan County.
And the whole reason he went into politics was
to try to save as many local jobs as possible.
You mean coal mining.
MRS. O'MALLEY: That's right. Yeah, most of the folks we knew
had at least one family member in the tunnels.
Judging by all these awards,
it looks like your husband's fighting spirit
was appreciated.
Rick was nothing short of a revelation.
Eric Morales, Rick's chief of staff.
BOOTH: We'll have to ask both of you--
when was the last time you, uh, saw the senator?
Wednesday afternoon at the office. Yesterday morning.
Uh, I had to go to UVA to deliver a speech.
I stayed the night in Charlottesville.
And then when I got home this morning,
I just figured he was at work.
I never would have thought...
AUBREY: What about enemies?
I imagine even the most beloved politicians receive threats.
MORALES: Generally speaking, Rick was
one of the more popular of the freshman senators.
He had his choice of committees.
But you're right, there were some unhappy constituents.
I'd be more than willing to turn over any e-mails or letters
that we got at the office.
So have you noticed anything out of the ordinary?
What was the senator's, I don't know, state of mind
in the past few days?
I hate to say it, but recently Rick has been...
aloof, at least with me.
He's been receiving phone calls at all hours
from the party's whip.
And by party's whip, you mean Senator Hayley Winters?
That's right.
Look, I love my husband,
and I would not want to make accusations,
especially now, but...
BOOTH: But you-you were suspicious he was
having an affair with Senator Winters. MORALES: No.
No, of course they weren't. He was always with her.
Even last night.
They were supposedly at some fund-raiser together.
Seeley Booth, I never thought the day would come
when even glancing at those chiseled features of yours
would set me off. Come on.
The whip may have been the last person who has seen
Senator O'Malley alive.
I have to talk to her.
Cher, there is no way
in H-E-double-hockey-sticks
I am allowing you to haul the Senate majority whip
into the FBI without any evidence of her involvement.
(chuckles): Look, Caroline... No, no, no, no.
Don't try to convince me with those sweet dulcet tones.
We call in the whip,
and the Justice Department becomes fodder
for Sunday Morning talk shows, and, cher,
that is not how I plan to make
my first appearance on Meet the Press.
Good news. You brought me an antacid.
I just got off the phone with the whip's office.
Senator Winters wants Booth
down on Capitol Hill ASAP to brief her on the case.
I swear you are blessed by the Almighty himself.
Okay, great. You ready to saddle up?
Actually, uh, Winters requested Dr. Brennan.
I guess she used to be a doctor,
wants to hear the forensic side of the case.
Holy mother of pearl,
just bring me the whole bottle
of antacids right now.
Your wife doesn't know the meaning
of "playing politics." BOOTH: Relax, okay?
I will handle Bones. Bones will be fine, okay?
And if you have a whole bottle of antacids,
your stomach's gonna blow up, all right?
"H-E-double-hockey-sticks"? What the hell is that?
Now, just what are you doing
while those two mess up in Congress?
Why do I sense
that you're about to tell me?
That ginger-haired squintern girl in the lab.
Jessica? What about her?
Justice wants you to run a background check on her
to make sure she's clear to work on such a high-profile case.
I'm on it, but don't worry.
I know Jessica. I'm not gonna find anything.
My thought is the victim tried to fend off his attacker.
Please tell me this isn't just one of your vibes talking.
Oh, no, instinct and evidence.
They are singing in perfect harmony.
Note the spider-web fractures on the ulna.
SAROYAN: Ouch.
Looks like the senator
was trying to defend himself, and the killer hit him
with a long, flat, blunt force weapon.
Any idea what it was? Not yet,
but I also found hemorrhagic staining
on the right side of the maxilla.
So a blow to the head.
I haven't pieced the skull together yet, but hopefully
that'll tell us more.
Well, then work quickly.
You should try to find cause of death
before Dr. Brennan gets back.
Aye-aye, captain.
BRENNAN: Booth, I know Caroline is concerned
because I don't play politics, so I want to assure you
that I will be on my best behavior.
I hope not.
Excuse me?
Look, I just want you to be you.
You know, you, your usual, wonderful,
but very direct self.
And what if I say something
that could be misconstrued as offensive?
Yeah, you will.
And that's exactly what I'm counting on.
You see, because then Winters will react,
and I'll get a read on her.
Oh, very clever.
So I should think of this as an undercover assignment,
but you want me to play myself.
You're overthinking this.
I could play a slight variation on myself.
I could be saucy.
Or I could speak with an accent.
No, Bones.
Don't-don't do that.
Just-just be you. That's all I need.
I just want you to be you. That's all I need.
Oh, okay. I'm just saying.
(imitating Humphrey Bogart): This could be the start
of a beautiful friendship.
Really? You're gonna go with Bogart?
Well, I got over-excited, but you have to admit,
that's an excellent impersonation.
This is such a tragic day.
Rick was a dear, dear man.
I want you to know you have the full power of my office
behind you during the investigation.
Well, that is very sensible of you,
particularly if we discover that the crime
involved any other members of your party.
BOOTH: I think what my partner here is trying to say
is that politicians like to get ahead of the problem,
before it kind of blows up in their faces.
Indeed.
Naturally, it also behooves you
to prepare the necessary lie for the public.
BOOTH: Speaking of which, is that
the, uh, damage control room in there?
WINTERS: No, actually, my aides are rushing
to prepare a bill to increase the debt ceiling.
Last thing we need is another government shutdown.
It must be quite difficult for your staff to put
all that into their work, knowing it is unlikely
for any senator to actually read it before a vote.
I must ask if we could return to the investigation.
Sure, let's back it up a bit, Bones, you know.
I find myself quite curious
as to how you plan to spin the fact
that Senator O'Malley was hacked to pieces.
So you're saying
Rick was dismembered? What's interesting
is the placement of the hack marks.
As a former surgeon,
you know it is ideal to cut along the joints.
Killer didn't do that. He chopped all over the place.
So whoever did this is likely ignorant of human anatomy.
Or the killer is cunning
and is trying to mislead the investigation.
Perhaps we should bring this discussion into my office.
Great idea.
(quietly): Good job, Bones.
Hey.
Oh, hey.
Is that for me? Oh, yes.
I sure as hell am not drinking any catnip tea.
Wow, you remembered my drink.
It's definitely an acquired taste,
but I guess that sums me up in a nutshell, too.
So... uh, so what's up?
Oh, um, well, Caroline asked me to clear you for the case,
so I had to run a background check.
Is this about the time I peed at the Lincoln Memorial?
Because I had a terrible UTI that day.
Um, no.
Somehow that detail was left out.
But...
were you involved with Greenpeace in college?
Yeah, so?
So you were engaged with an activist group
known for its aggressive tactics.
Now, is that you in the crowd?
Mm-hmm.
Look, brillo-head,
you're getting me kind of nervous here.
So were you present five minutes after this photo was taken
when a pipe bomb exploded outside of the building?
Greenpeace had nothing to do with that,
and neither did I.
We were the victims.
Just check the police reports.
Okay. And then what about
when you were on the road with the band Phish?
There were no bombs there.
Yeah, there were drugs.
I know. I had a great time.
Um...
but that was then.
What are you saying?
That my past is gonna ruin my future?
Okay, so just to be clear, you-you don't do drugs anymore?
I haven't in a while,
but that doesn't mean I'm never gonna do them again.
Uh, I never say never.
(sighs)
Everything okay? Yeah.
Yeah, no, I'm just trying to figure out
how to report this back to Caroline.
You could just... not.
I mean, everything in that file is in the before.
I am who I am because of my past,
but I'm not the same person anymore.
Are you the same kid
who watched his dad being hauled off to jail?
No.
So?
Hey, stop that.
You don't get to look at me all disappointed like that.
No, I'm not,
I'm not disappointed.
I'm-I'm just, um...
Can we just forget this conversation ever happened?
I don't know.
Can you?
BOOTH: So, O'Malley's chief of staff said that you had
frequent meetings with the senator.
His wife also said that you called him
at all hours of the day and night.
That's right. I like to maintain
a close working relationship with freshman senators.
"Working" relationship?
What are you implying?
As you undoubtedly know,
political figures often use their positions of power
to circumvent conventional mores
and engage in extramarital affairs.
Well, I'm flattered that you think
that I have the stamina for an affair,
but I assure you, there was nothing between us.
Right, and yet you were at the fund-raiser
with him last night, correct?
I mean, that was the last place
he was seen. You don't think someone
from the fund-raiser murdered him?
I don't know, why don't you tell me.
I mean, this is politics.
Somebody must have a grudge against him.
Not within the party.
Still, I'm happy to provide you
with the guest list.
Actually, now that I think about it,
there was an incident.
This handful of protestors.
The security had them removed,
but I remember Rick seeming unnerved.
He left shortly after.
You think the two events are connected?
It's possible.
What were the protests against?
An amendment to the debt ceiling bill.
One that hit Rick pretty close to home.
It's an order to reduce coal emissions.
O'Malley's platform
was in support of coal miners.
So why would the protestors make him a target?
Because Rick was going to vote in favor of the bill,
despite the added measure.
And let me guess, you're the one
who persuaded him to vote against his conscience.
Sometimes, Agent Booth,
we all have to make sacrifices for the sake of the party.
HODGINS: Hey.
Wanted to see me?
Yeah, Booth called.
Apparently, Senator O'Malley left the fund-raising dinner
before the actual meal was served.
You want me to do some digestive diving,
figure out what he ate?
Yeah, maybe we can figure out
where he dined on his last meal.
Looks like some kind of poultry.
It's gamier than chicken.
I don't know, possibly quail?
Okay, whatever you guys are working on,
I do not want to know about it.
What do you got? So I was able
to get surveillance video from outside the building
where the fund-raising event was held.
Is that Senator O'Malley?
Pixilation is terrible.
Like an '80s video game.
Yeah, and here comes Donkey Kong.
HODGINS: Whoa.
Kong looks pissed.
It's hard to see his face.
Yeah, the quality is bad, but I think it's safe to say
that this guy is angry enough to kill.
So, did you do your homework
on that Jessica Warren creature,
or do I need to rap your knuckles?
I did it.
She's got some skeletons in her closet,
but then again, she is a forensic anthropologist.
Cute.
You know how much I love cute.
She's good to go.
Uh, nothing serious enough to warrant a mistrial.
But I think you already knew that.
Look, cher, I'm just trying to make sure
you've got both eyes wide open.
You have a bright future ahead of you.
But first you need to find yourself
the right kind of woman.
You asking me out?
Cher, you couldn't handle me.
(chuckles)
Look, I appreciate everything you're doing,
but I promise you there's nothing going on
between me and Jessica.
Good. Now, where are we at?
Angela found footage of this behemoth
arguing with the senator last night.
Problem is, the quality is so bad,
she can't run it through facial recognition.
No need.
I'd recognize that man in the dark
with my pretty little eyes blindfolded.
You got a name? Frankie Cesari.
Wait, why does that sound familiar?
Cesari's the unofficial president
of the coal mining lobby in Virginia.
You watch out for yourself.
I wouldn't put anything past that man.
Not after he evaded my embezzling charges
by disappearing his accuser.
"Disappearing"?
Body was never found.
Good chance the fellow has cement feet.
Disposing of the victim fits our killer's M.O.
Exactly.
So, you do me a favor.
Make sure you nail the slimeball to the wall.
I'll tell you what.
I'll let you do it with me.
Well, look what the trash dragged in.
What-what the hell?
This is entrapment.
Entrapment?
(scoffs): Oh.
It is a damn shame, Frankie,
that a dictionary doesn't come with that mouth.
Sit down, please.
Thank you.
So, we've got some video of you
getting into a pretty heated argument
with Senator O'Malley last night.
So what?
It's a free country.
And I got the right to petition my legislators.
But what you don't have is the right to kill him.
Oh, come on.
You guys think I killed him?
I'm a businessman. All we ever did was talk!
Okay, so what did you talk about last night?
The debt ceiling bill.
I just asked him how he was planning to vote.
CAROLINE: Looked to me like you were
none too pleased with his answer.
AUBREY: What did you do?
Followed him after the fund-raiser?
Beat on him until he saw things your way?
Wow. You guys should be writers
the way you come up with these stories.
None of the above, actually.
O'Malley said
he was undecided.
CAROLINE: And you believed him?
Ah, Frankie, you are even dumber
than you are ugly.
Of course I didn't believe him.
That's why I went home
and started working on a picket line.
I got phone records and everything
to prove it.
So what?
So you gonna admit you were wrong? You gonna let me go?
Soon as your alibi checks out, yeah.
Of course, that could take a while.
I were you, I'd get cozy.
Hey, hey, hey, you can't keep me in here.
That's illegal. Come on, Frankie.
You never let the law get in your way.
Why start now?
WARREN: Hey.
I've reassembled the skull, and it is ready for its close-up.
Impressive. Given the damage inflicted,
I thought this would've taken you much longer.
Yeah, well, I find that
when I'm feeling emotionally unstable,
concentrating on my work helps me to cope.
Like I said, this is very good work.
Okay, if she's not gonna take that bait, I will.
What's the problem?
Uh, well, technically, there is no actual problem,
because there's nothing actually going on.
But there is potential.
And I don't think you just squash potential
until there is an actual problem.
BRENNAN: I did not understand
a word you just said.
Don't worry, I'm with you.
I mean, just because something
is unlikely to be successful--
like, say a relationship--
doesn't mean you don't try, right?
BRENNAN: I disagree.
If you know the likelihood of an outcome
is statistically unfavorable, that thing should be avoided.
Like a TV in the bedroom.
Okay, now I don't know what you're saying.
Oh, um,
Booth wants a TV in the bedroom, but Brennan doesn't
because she heard that statistically
it's less likely she'll have sex.
I find it is safer to adhere to the percentages.
Yeah, but it's also boring.
I mean, sometimes the best things in life
happen against the odds.
Think about anything you've ever really wanted.
Right? Like a perfect job or-or...
finding the love of your life.
Those are one-in-a-million chances, right?
But for you,
the odds don't even apply
until you're both clear about what you want.
Thank you, Angela.
That was, like, the best talk/monologue
I've ever been part of.
As to the injuries to the victim's skull?
Oh, yes.
Check out the damage
on the right zygomatic, mandible and maxilla.
These fractures are perimortem.
The damage is suggestive of
a blunt force weapon with an uneven surface,
at least 12 centimeters in diameter.
What, like a big rock?
Which is not at all like the straight-edge weapon
used to fracture the ulna.
So, multiple weapons.
Perhaps multiple killers.
Hey, so I just finished my analysis of the food
in Senator O'Malley's stomach.
Turns out, the guy's last meal was pigeon.
Ew!
Was he hanging out with hobos?
Either that or Granny Clampett picked up some roadkill.
I-I don't know what that means.
But several Far Eastern cultures
consider pigeon-- particularly pigeon heads--
to be delicacies.
But how many Far Eastern restaurants in the D.C. area
actually serve pigeon?
I do not know.
However, I believe Agent Aubrey is quite knowledgeable
when it comes to local cuisine.
Perhaps you could call him and ask.
I figured out who you were talking about.
How you doing, chickadee?
For an Internet- based society,
D.C. sure seems to be stuck in the trees-killing era.
That all O'Malley's? Yep.
Guy is clean as a whistle.
Except... this.
It's a copy of his personal financial statements
dating back three years.
Now, you see that withdrawal for two G's?
Staring me right in the face.
That's a recurring withdrawal.
Always for $2,000.
Always the same time of the month.
Sounds like drugs, you ask me.
Well, according to Cam,
his tox report was negative,
so I'm leaning towards prostitutes.
So maybe the wife was right
and her husband was having an affair.
Just not with Senator Winters.
My thoughts exactly. So I tracked down the cab driver
that picked O'Malley up from the fund-raising dinner.
He said that he, uh,
dropped O'Malley off at some Indonesian restaurant downtown.
Where he met his lover.
Cabbie remembers seeing
a young woman embracing O'Malley outside of the restaurant,
which incidentally serves the best pigeon in town.
Ew.
(groans)
Oh, what's that smell?
Oh, that would be durian,
referred to in Indonesia as the king of fruit,
frequently added to sayur.
Remind me to get some to take home.
So our home can smell like a foot.
I mean, who needs a TV to get in the way of our sex life
when we have foot smell, right?
Table for two? No.
FBI. We have A-rating for clean.
You could see! That's great.
You know what? I'm not interested.
You know him? Ah, Rick.
Kind man. He have big appetite.
Good tipper. Why? He in trouble?
When was the last time you saw him? Yesterday.
Nighttime. He good friend with waitress.
Well, that could be his lover, Booth.
Great, okay. Is she working here tonight?
You not hurt her?
I just want to talk to her, okay?
Anissa!
BRENNAN: Booth? BOOTH: Yeah?
I don't think Senator O'Malley
was having an affair with that woman.
BOOTH: Why's that?
BRENNAN: Based on the pronounced zygomatics,
the high orbital ridge of her face,
I'm quite confident that this is
Senator O'Malley's daughter.
Rick O'Malley is my biological father.
Is something wrong? Is he in trouble?
Biological father? So, you were adopted?
Him and my mom had a one-night stand.
I didn't know who he was until four years ago.
And when you turned 18,
you could legally obtain your birth record.
Yeah. BRENNAN: I imagine
that you would be upset that your father abandoned you
for your entire childhood.
That would be hard on any child,
no matter what their age. No.
I mean, sure, I-I wondered about him.
But, I don't know, it was never a thing.
And when you found out
he was a senator, you saw there was opportunity.
Excuse me? BRENNAN: We know Senator O'Malley
withdrew $2,000 monthly from his bank account.
We can only assume he made those same deposits
into your account.
So, I mean, what happened?
Did you threaten to tell the press that he had
an illegitimate daughter if he didn't pay?
No, no. He was just helping me with college like a dad does.
I don't buy it. I mean, if he really
supported you, why didn't you make a public statement?
Because I asked him not to.
The first time that he ran for Senate,
he asked me to be a part of the campaign,
but I didn't want to be some D.C. scandal.
Didn't he tell you all of this? Why are you here?
I take it you haven't been watching the news?
No, I've been in class all day. Why?
I'm sorry to tell you,
but your-your father was killed last night.
No, no, no, no.
(stammers) He-he couldn't have been.
I just, I was with... I just saw...
Last night, you were with him,
and as far as we know, from what we can gather,
you were the last person who saw him alive.
So, what? You think I killed him?
No. No, no, no, no.
He-he came here all the time.
It wasn't out of the ordinary.
We would
sit and-and eat and talk.
And what about last night?
Um...
He was upset.
He-he said something about a vote, that the party
was making him vote a way he didn't want to.
Did he say what he was intending to do?
No, just...
I-I told him to follow his heart.
Okay, and what time did he leave?
Um, I-I drove him home, around 11:00.
The last time I saw him, he was...
he was headed inside.
See this abrasion on the left temporal?
Here?
That is directly behind where the ear would be.
I took a measurement.
It has the same radius as a 31-gauge needle.
Makes sense-- an ideal place to poison someone
is behind the ear because a coroner seldom looks there.
But the tox screen came back negative.
Well, I have a thought on that.
What if the killer first tried to poison O'Malley,
make it look like he died of natural causes?
But then he fought back,
causing the needle to scrape along the skull
before being torn out.
Exactly. Her first method of murder failing,
the killer turned to a more
brutal means to end things.
"Her"?
Poison is a murder weapon
most often used by women.
Although, I think I'm more of a flamethrower kind of gal.
Well, it's important to have flair.
You know it.
Have Hodgins swab the abrasion; maybe he can
figure out what type of poison was being used.
Statistically, women are five times more likely
than men to use poison as a murder weapon.
So, playing the odds, leaves us the wife,
the illegitimate child and the majority whip.
If this case isn't D.C., I don't know what is.
I had my money on the whip.
She was a doctor before she came to politics.
She'd have the easiest access to poison and needles.
If you ask me,
I'd guess the wife, except for that pesky alibi of hers.
Except... she doesn't have one.
I talked to the manager of the hotel
where she stayed near UVA.
No one saw her or heard from her between 10:00 p.m. and 7:00 a.m.
Plenty of time to drive home,
kill the senator, then return to the hotel.
Also, Lynette O'Malley is a diabetic.
And guess what size needle her pharmacy says she uses?
31-gauge? Bingo.
Same size that the squints found on the victim's skull.
Okay, I'm convinced.
I'll get a warrant for the house.
You get Booth and get over there now.
BOOTH: Once we get to the house,
just let me do all the talking, you understand?
(scoffs) Gee, thanks, Dad, but I can handle myself.
All right, look, Aubrey, I know you know what to do.
But I'm just saying, if you're serious about getting
into politics one day, you just, you have to be careful
about what you say, Aubrey. Okay.
I'll hang back. Good, all right.
(phone rings) Bones, what is it?
Hodgins found traces of a poison called succinylcholine
on the abrasion to the skull.
I think I've heard of that stuff.
It is often considered
an ideal homicidal poison
because its half-life is exceptionally short,
meaning the body metabolizes it so rapidly,
it would be untraceable in the blood.
Well, that's why the tox screen came back negative.
Precisely.
Maybe I'm being hopeful, but the ideal homicidal poison--
I'm guessing that stuff isn't sold in the local drugstore.
No. However, it is common to hospitals
because of its use as a paralytic.
BOOTH: You know who has admitting privileges
at D.C. West Hospital?
Majority whip. Senator Winters.
(indistinct chatter)
Okay, great. Is it me or does it just look like
there's more of them here than before?
Looks like a press conference. I'm telling you, right?
Agent Booth, can we ask you some questions?
Does the FBI have a suspect in custody?
Is that the announcement you're gonna be making today?
Agent Booth, has there been some sort of development
in my husband's case? Sorry, what's going on here?
Looks like you're about to make a statement to the press.
AUBREY: I'd remind you this is an ongoing investigation,
and there is information that we are not yet
releasing to the public. No, I promise
the announcement has nothing to do with the investigation.
MORALES: Governor Doland will be
arriving shortly to announce his invocation
of the Widow's Mandate. What are you talking about?
When a senator dies while in office,
it falls to the governor to appoint a replacement
for the remainder of the term.
Historically, governors have
selected a lawmaker's widow,
as she's most likely to share his political ideology.
So, what? He's gonna appoint her now? Today?
That is his intention. AUBREY: No. No.
Th-That's motive, okay? Cancel the press conference.
Aubrey, just back down. I got this.
We need to ask you a few questions, Mrs. O'Malley.
WINTERS: No.
Lynette, don't say a word.
You're out of line.
Have a seat, Senator.
I got a couple questions for you, as well.
I've been back and forth over these remains
a kabillion times, and I'm not seeing anything new.
Ms. Warren, you need to calm yourself.
I know, but Booth and Aubrey
are holding Senator Winters
and Lynette O'Malley until we find something.
I thought you were more focused
when feeling emotionally unstable.
What can I say?
Angela's pep talk worked.
Emotionally, I'm as fit as a fiddle,
which means my focus
is a little fidgety.
What about this nick near the coracoid process
inside the glenoid cavity? It's in my notes.
It's a hack mark from the dismemberment.
I don't think so.
Note the hemorrhagic staining inside the wound.
Its location suggests
the subclavian artery was likely penetrated,
causing the victim to bleed out.
So sharp force trauma--
on top of the two distinct
blunt force injuries we found earlier.
That's three weapons in all.
Note the blue staining deep inside the nick.
Uh, so, what?
Most of the bones were stained
when they went through the street sweeper.
True. However, the blue inside this wound
is too deep to have been left by the street sweeper.
So he was killed with a paintbrush?
I need to talk to Angela.
My gut tells me
we're not looking at three separate weapons.
Your gut?
Well, it's a vibe. (chuckles)
There's a time and a place, Ms. Warren.
Agent Aubrey, so far I've heard no evidence
that should stop the governor
moving forward with his appointment.
I need to know,
was there anyone, anyone at all,
that can corroborate that you were at the hotel? No.
I was exhausted and I passed out the minute I got to the room.
You don't even have proof the the senator was killed at home.
BOOTH: Ah, look what I found in the garage, huh?
Same size that was used to chop up the body.
AUBREY: Looks like we found your proof.
BRENNAN: We know the victim was struck
by three seemingly disparate objects.
The first is a sharp
V-shaped cleft.
The second injury
was the result of a long, hard, flat surface
striking the ulna. Yeah. Well, whatever it is,
it measures at least 20 centimeters.
The third injury was caused by an uneven, rocky surface.
The blow to the side of the face.
The perimortem damage
was just under eight centimeters.
I don't see it.
Each of these shapes is completely distinct.
Angela,
position the rocky surface on top,
rotating it 180 degrees.
Now position the flat edge
several inches below that, horizontally,
with the sharp force trauma outline to the left of that.
Wait a second.
Why does that look familiar? Because you live in it.
That is the great Commonwealth of Virginia.
Oh.
Well, how can a state be a murder weapon?
Well, unless the state of Virginia is composed of coal, it's not.
What did you find? The blue you saw in the stab wound
is the result of petrified coal.
It can turn organic tissue blue.
I need to call Booth.
This is ridiculous.
The press is literally on our doorstep.
Relax. Like Agent Aubrey said,
this is an ongoing investigation.
(phone rings) They can't release any information to the public.
Bones, what do you got?
BRENNAN: The murder weapon is
a statue or an award or something
in the shape of Virginia.
It's made of petrified coal.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Booth, what are you looking for?
BOOTH: This.
Okay.
Bones, I got it.
(sniffs)
There's only one problem. It smells like bleach.
We're not gonna be able to find any blood evidence on it.
We don't need it.
You see the rough edge of the statue?
The northernmost part of the state?
Bones, just tell me what I'm looking for here, okay?
The killer must have used
extreme force when striking the victim.
If the murder weapon
was held by that side,
it is likely she cut herself on it.
Okay, so you're saying there was a cut
on the killer's hand?
There's a very good chance
that the coal stained the tissue
at the site of the cut.
Look for blue discoloration.
Got it. Thanks.
Okay, break it up, let's go.
I need to see the palms of both your hands.
Why? I demand to know what you're looking for.
Put your palms out.
(sighs)
BOOTH: No blue.
No blue.
Mr. Morales.
Let's see the palms of your hands, please.
I don't even know what this is about.
It's about you following simple directions.
Now do what the man said.
Look at that.
Blue.
Eric?
You two were having an affair.
MORALES: I'm sorry, Lynette.
I swear to you, she had nothing to do with this.
Rick was gonna vote against the party.
I tried to tell him, but no. He's just so damn stubborn.
He was gonna ruin our future, for what?
A handful of jobs? I couldn't let that happen.
You knew about the Widow's Mandate.
Eric, how could you?
I did it because I knew.
You and me, working together--
we could have made a real difference.
You understand how to make sacrifices
for the greater good.
And I figured that once you were done grieving, that...
Don't you love me?
AUBREY: Doesn't matter now.
(handcuffs clicking) You are under arrest
for the murder of a United States senator.
BOOTH: Let's go. Lynette...
♪ ♪
So she's officially not taking the senator's seat?
The governor withdrew his offer, which is understandable.
The whole thing's been a huge P.R. scandal for the party.
JESSICA: Do they know who they're going to appoint?
Nope.
And to tell you the truth, I don't think it really matters.
As far as I can tell,
one politician is just as bad the next.
You don't believe that.
Well, don't you?
No.
'Cause for every slime bag out there,
there's also somebody like you.
And as long as there's yous around, then I know
that there's somebody who is looking out for this country.
And me.
Except when I'm holding your past against you.
Yeah. No one's perfect.
Especially not the guy who is forcing me to eat pigeon.
Come on. I'm doing you a favor.
I'm trying to teach you about the finer things in life.
Ah, yes, the finer things.
Do you know the hours I have to work
so that I can eat something better than roadkill?
Look, just trust me on this one.
If I vomit...
You're not gonna vomit.
Well, you seem very certain of yourself. I am.
I'm also pretty certain about you.
Keep your eyes closed.
Ow. Don't run into the wall, Booth.
I'm not running, you're steering me. No, I'm not...
I can't see. You can't...
Where's the bed? You're too strong to steer.
Okay. Now, uh... no!
(laughs): Don't. It's right here.
Okay. Ow.
You just stepped on my boot. You can open.
Oh, wow. Wow!
What's this?
It is quite clearly a television.
I know that. But you know what?
But you said no. This has got to be
at least 50 inches. Fifty-six.
I was told the ideal size for a television
was half the distance from the viewing area.
This is great! I... Thank you so much for buying this.
I didn't buy it. We're leasing.
Huh? Think of this as an experiment.
If our intimacy level falls below a certain threshold,
then the TV gets returned.
What's the threshold?
A number of my choosing.
But I'm sure you can rise to the challenge.
Really?
Rising...
But not tonight, 'cause I want to watch the news.
Hey, what do you mean? Wait, what news?
I'm being interviewed for my participation in the case.
Also, there's a documentary I've been meaning to watch.
Have you seen James Cagney's White Heat?
(imitates Cagney): "Look at me, Ma! Top of the world!"
My Bogart was much better than that.
Are you kidding me?
Your Bogart sounded like Zoolander. No. Booth...
Give me that. I don't watch...
I don't watch science fiction.
All right! We'll get the game on! No, not the game.
The Flyers! Put it on! They play tonight!
(chatter continues)
What's that mean?
Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH