Bonanza (1959–1973): Season 12, Episode 13 - Honest John - full transcript

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Hey, Jamie.

Been looking for you
for nigh on two hours.

Where the deuce
have you been anyhow?

Riding.

Jamie, look,

you left here without
doing all your chores.

The wood box is half empty.

The chickens haven't been fed,

and Hop Sing's pipin' mad at you.



Now, look, Jamie, we don't mind

you ridin' off and doing
whatever's on your mind,

but we'd just like to know
where you're at,

don't you understand that?

I get 'em done.

Yeah, but not on time.

Look, I get 'em done my way.
Does it have to be yours?

Jamie...

Jamie, you can talk to me.

What... What's the matter, son?

What's on your mind? What's wrong?

Ain't nothing wrong with me.

What'd you do to your leg?

Let me see.



We'll have to do something about that.

You're pretty tame.

How about us being friends?

I could sure use a friend.

How are you?

How's that leg?

Come on.

Maybe that crow's all he needed, huh?

The road to Virginia City
leads off there.

Think you can make it all right?

Made it here, didn't I?

Just let me water my mule, clean off
my face and I'll be on my way.

Thank you for your help.

There's the pump.

- Some spread.
- Yeah, sure is.

Who's that?

I found him
at the bottom of a dry wash.

Had himself a fall.

He's bruised up some,
but nothing's broke.

He's got too much sass
in him to hurt.

Here, if you can rope that one.

Howdy.

They say you's the boss around here.

That, uh,
hand of yours need doctoring?

Sprained, but I'm still in one piece.

Wouldn't take it amiss
if you's to tell me

to rest a spell and have some grub.

Well, uh, why don't you
rest a spell and have some grub?

Stay the night if you'd like, too.

Ain't forcin' myself.

Name's John, Honest John,
but I answer to either two.

Ben Cartwright.

You got any
one-handed work needs doin',

I'll be glad to pay my way.

No, no need for that.

Figured you'd say that.
I just want to make a good impression.

All right if I put my friend here
in your corral there?

- You make yourself at home.
- Obliged.

Now you mind your manners.

I want you to make
a good impression, too.

My, how some folks do live.

Think we found
what we're looking for, hmm?

Lucifer!

Well, I thought you was dead.

Well...

how'd you get yourself in there?

You ain't got the sense
the Lord give a lizard.

I thought that box had you for sure.

Cut your leg, didn't you?

Let me look at it.
Hold still, you devil.

Well, you had pretty good doctorin'.

Better than I have.
You've been eating well, too.

Old John's sure glad to see you.

I'll be danged.

Hey, mister, who told you
to let that bird out of his cage?

- Didn't have to be told.
- Well, you just put him back.

No, sir, he's my bird.

He's not your bird, he's my bird.

Now give him to me.

Give him to me!

Now look what you did.

You done it yourself
with all your yellin'

and jumpin' around and...

Well, you let him out of his cage.

You had no right to just
walk into somebody's barn

and get in his cage...

Now, wait a minute,
wait a minute, Jamie, hold it.

We'll get him back.
Let's see what's what.

I'll tell you what's what...

That bird was scared away from me
two days ago by a fox.

That's how he got his leg hurt.

I don't believe that.

Anybody can come here
and say that bird's his.

Can you prove that, mister?

Sure can.

Try calling him.

See who he comes to.

That sounds fair enough.

Jamie, go ahead,
you get the first crack.

If he comes to him,
the bird belongs to Jamie, huh?

All right.

Come on, Blackie.

Come on, Blackie.

Come on.

Cookies, Blackie, cookies.

Come on, Blackie.

Come on.

Please, Blackie? Come on.

Come on.

Well, it ain't fair.

I mean, I haven't had time
to teach him that yet.

He don't need no teaching.

Lucifer...

black devil.

You come on down here
before I pull your hair out.

The boy put a lot of store in the bird.

I'd, uh, I'd pay dang near
any price for him.

I put store in him, too.
He ain't for sale.

Now, I've been invited to stay
for supper and the night.

All right if I store my gear in there?

Yeah, you're welcome
to the bunkhouse, if you want.

Ah, I couldn't sleep
with all the snoring.

Do what you like.

Supper will be ready
in a minute.

And if you change your mind,
I'd still pay any price for that bird.

Ain't likely.

Well, Lucifer...

we've been dealt a pretty good hand.

Now we figure out how to play it, huh?

Mister, I was around the horn twice
before I was 20.

- Coffee? More coffee?
- Yes.

Busted my nose in Singapore,

my ribs in Port Said,
and my left leg in Nome.

When were you in Singapore?
I was there several times.

Oh, were you?

Yeah, second mate on the Lightning.
What was your ship?

And... I busted my right leg
falling out of bed in my own house.

Uh, speaking of bed,
I think I'm gonna go up

to get me a little sack time.
I'll see you fellas tomorrow.

- Good night, gentlemen.
- Me too. I gotta get up early.

I was ranching down
in Kansas at the time.

Texas fever wiped me out.

First time I took to roamin'.

Wolfin'.

Now, the... No, the third time
is when I had that medicine show,

Honest John's Elixir.

Good for anything that ails you.

Now I'm bound to huntin'
and borrowin'.

Well...

how about a touch of this medicine
for what ails you?

Never said no in my life.
I thank you kindly.

There you are.

Mmm! Long time since I've had
anything that good in my gullet.

Oh, that's mighty soothin', sir.

You set a fine table, Mr. Cartwright.

Thank you.

May I please be excused?

Yes, Jamie.

Oh, Jamie, uh,
don't stay up too late now.

- Bedtime.
- All right.

Fine boy.

Your grandson?

No. No, he's been living with us
since his father died.

Neighbors to you?

No, his father was
a traveling man, rainmaker.

He was now?

Well, the boy's been
frettin' about that crow.

I'll look to it.

Nothing like a sky full of stars
to make a man feel alone.

You ain't kin to them, are you?

You sure don't look like 'em.

I mean, like the way they act with you,
kind of careful-like.

Now, kinfolks, they don't care
if they hurt your feelings

or rile you or aggrieve you
or what they do,

like they had a right to it.

Your, uh, folks die recent?

- My father.
- What was his name?

Tom Hunter.

Hmm.

You know, I ran across a Tom Hunter

five, six years ago.

He was a... a rainmaker.

Your father have red hair like you

and a spiel to bring tears
to a grease brush?

Yes.

Well, now,
if that don't beat all.

So that was your pa?

He was a fine man.

Did you know him long?

Well, I just ran into him that once.

It was... We were in... I...

Memory's got holes in it.

He's gone, huh?

You sure favor him, you know that?

Sorry about Lucifer, boy.

Him and me
been roaming around together

nearly three years.

He had a busted wing
when I found him.

I nursed him.

I guess he thinks I'm his mama.

This hand of mine grieves me
a lot more than I like to let on.

I sure ought to rest it.

Uh, you think you could
fix it up with him

for me to stay here
'til my hand gets better?

Take more than a few days,
three or four at the most.

You do that for me,

and I'll give you Lucifer
for your very own.

You mean that?

I said it, boy, don't doubt it.

Oh, I won't.

I'll talk to Mr. Cartwright.

First thing in the morning.

Now give him a kiss, Lucifer.

Why didn't you tell him
to come directly to me?

Well, I guess he thought

you'd be more likely to say yes
if I asked for him.

And you want him to stay
so the crow will be here?

Well, kind of, but...

he said he'd give me the crow
if he got to stay.

You like him, don't you?

Yes, sir.

He's a conniving old rascal,
but I like him, too.

All right.

Go on, tell him he can stay.

Although if I know Honest John,
he's already heard it.

- John!
- I heard, I heard.

Now...

the first thing you got to do
is fix this here place up.

If I'm gonna stay,
I'm gonna have me some comforts.

You've got a bed around here?

Uh, yeah, there's one up in the attic.

We'll fetch it down.

Yeah, I gotta figure me a way

to hang some blankets around there.

This... place was all drafts last night.

Could use me a chair,
a lamp or a lantern.

You can scrounge 'em up?

Oh, sure.

Hello, Lucifer.

Is he mine now?

Well, you've done
what you said you would,

so I... only I think,
long as I'm around here,

he might as well
stay out here with me.

He'd be kind of messy in the house.

Okay, sure.

- Did you really know my father?
- Said I did, didn't I?

Come on, I want to show you
some of Lucifer's tricks.

Uh, money, Lucifer.

Come on, Lucifer.

- I'll be darned.
- Isn't it?

Let me show you another one here.

Let me get my cards down in here.

Jamie.

Hop Sing was looking for you.

I was just showing him
some of Lucifer's tricks.

Now you watch this one.

These here is fortune cards,
I stole 'em from a gypsy.

She had a parrot doing the trick.
I taught Lucifer how.

All right, Lucifer,
take a card, pick a card.

Give it to Jamie. Go on, give it to him.

Give it to him.

Now read it, go on, read it.

- Read it?
- Yeah.

"A stranger will change your life."

By golly, how about that?

A stranger will change
your life.

Ain't he great?

Smartest bird I ever saw.

Oh, well, I better be going.

- Thanks, John.
- Yeah.

You, uh, you gave him Lucifer, huh?

- Mm-hmm.
- Well, I thank you for him.

Ah, don't mention it.

Reckon I'm obliged to you, too.

You got any chorin' you want done
around here, you let me know.

I may be a conniving rapscallion,
but I give for what I take.

The word was "rascal."

Just so's we understand each other.

I was hoping for that, John.

You know, uh, the boy seems to be
unhappy about something.

Yeah, I can see him.

He's taken to you.

That could be good for him.

That could be bad.

You putting me on notice?

Just so's we understand each other.

Well...

all you need now is

a "God Bless Our Happy Home" sign
hung up someplace.

I got one I'm making
in my embroidery hoop.

Stretch that out tight, boy.

I don't want my drafts
and I like my privacy.

Jamie, I'd like to talk to you
for a minute, if I could.

I reckon I can fetch
that mattress myself.

How long is he gonna stay anyhow?

Just till his hand gets better.

Your pa said he could.

I missed you out riding today.

Oh, well, I was busy.

Yeah.

How about tomorrow?

I don't know, maybe.

Yeah. Well, I'll, uh,
I'll see you, Jamie.

Uh, just resting a spell
to catch my breath.

Dang near knocked the bottle over.

There, you take these.

This thing's lumpy.

Boy...

about that thing in there.

Sometimes a man's just
gotta wet his whistle.

It's all right. My pa did it, too.

Then you know how it is.

Sure.

Where did you meet him, John?

Your pa?

Um... I was kinda...

I just remember, uh...

Weren't you ever in Nebraska?

Nebraska?

Yeah, I think so.

That's where it was.

Nebraska, right outside of Omaha.

Right outside of Omaha, Nebraska.

I was camping for the night,

and your pa come along,
he seen my outfit,

and, uh, told me he planned on
hitting town the next day.

Didn't make sense
for a medicine show

and a rainmaker to hit town
the same day,

so we played cards
to see who'd go in first.

Uh, you was asleep
in the back of the wagon.

Who won?

Uh, your pa.

Only time I ever laid eyes on him.

But I tell you,
I remember it like it was yesterday.

Yes, sir.

Sometimes I can't remember
what he looks like.

Oh, well, that's natural, boy.
That's natural.

Hey, John, uh...

do you feel like riding out with me
tomorrow, seeing something?

All right.

- All right.
- Good.

- Mattress all right?
- Yeah, it's gonna be.

Get that thing back up.

Here it is.

How'd you ever find this place?

Just riding.

These were my father's.

Here's his pocket watch.

Here's his picture.

That's my mother with him.

It's their wedding picture.

Why do you keep these things
out here?

Oh, no special reason.

Mm-hmm.

The house belongs to the Cartwrights.

That's your place, it's yours, huh?

Don't you like the Cartwrights?

Yeah, I like 'em a lot.

I mean, they're real good to me,

give me everything
I ever want or need.

You know, the only thing

I ever got without their doing
was Lucifer.

I mean, Hoss had to
help me with the cage.

Sometimes if a man's kind to you

it's a sight harder to take
than if he's downright mean.

No, it's not that.

It's living with them.

I do things the way they do,
think the way they think.

Sometimes I even wake up at nights
thinking that they're my family.

I never had any other.

The point is they're not my family.

And I'm scared that...

I'm forgetting everything about my pa
and the way we lived.

Sure, boy.

There ain't a man alive
wouldn't like to live his own life.

Now you take me.

Living under a roof,
people around me all the time.

Now, that ain't for me.

Only good 'cause I'm getting old,
I can't care for myself proper.

And to see me dying off
in the middle of nowhere,

nobody around to give a hoot,

it's an awful way to go, boy.
It's the worst.

So I'm living civilized.

Got my company manners on.
It's a strain, I'll tell you.

What happened to your wagon, John?

Uh, well...

I had me a little too much
to drink one night.

Time I come around,
the sheriff had sold it off

and the team, too,
to pay for the damages,

and I just ain't been able
to get enough together since then

to buy another.

Come here.

- Where are you going?
- Want to show you something.

Looks like the tide went out.

Wasn't this full this morning?

Almost.

Old John, eh?

Well, you can't accuse
a man without evidence.

John arrives
and the brandy vanishes.

I'd say that was evidence enough.

What do you suggest?

Well, I suggest you tell him
lay off the brandy or go down the road.

- Well.
- What do you mean "well?"

You've put hired hands
on that kind of notice before.

He's not a hired hand.

You're darn right he ain't.

He's a dang conniving old thief

that's done cornswoggled himself
a free bed and a free meal

and he's a troublemaker, too.

He's got Hop Sing
all riled up and half the hands.

He won't let 'em in the pack room
and tells 'em it's his private property.

Yeah, but he's been able
to get through to the boy,

which we haven't been
able to do for some time.

Yeah, well, I don't know
whether that's good or bad.

Well, he's been good for the boy
so far.

Let's see what happens.

You dragged me out here to see this?

It isn't busted up so bad
we couldn't fix it.

Used to be a homesteader's,
but he moved out.

Don't you think we could fix it?

What for?

So's we can use it.

I mean, we could do it right out here,
nobody would have to know about it.

We could go off in it together,
the way you used to.

The way I did with my pa.

I ain't your father, boy.

No.

You got no call on me
and I got none on you.

- That's right.
- And you got no right

to put something like that to me.

You'd get me in trouble all around.

I go off with you like, it's not
I'd spend the rest of my days in jail.

Sorry I said anything.

Well, I know why you did, boy.

You and me, we got needs.

Eatin' regular and sleeping warmly
don't answer 'em.

Well, I'll tell you one thing.

I ain't gonna do nothing
until my hand feels better.

Ain't promising you nothing
or anything.

Don't think on that.

John, you in there?

Well, I got my chores done, let's go.

Go where, boy?

To the wagon.
You said we'd work on it today.

And I found some old spokes
that I got stored behind the barn

that we can fix the wheel with,
and I found some old...

Oh, boy, I ain't feelin' right.

I got something ailing me.

We'll do it tomorrow, I promise you.

All right.

Can I get you anything?

No, I don't need nothing,
just leave me be.

You shut up.

Oh, Mr. Cartwright,
I meant to tell you about that.

You see...

Mr. Cartwright?

Mr. Cartwright, Mr. Cartwright, really.

He didn't do it, I... I spilled it.

Don't lie, Jamie.

That's right, Jamie, don't lie.

If you're talking about
the brandy, Mr. Cartwright,

it was me that spilled it.

All over me.

I'll talk to you later
when you're sober.

Well, don't just look at me, boy.

I feel poorly.

Help me!

Now, why did you do it, John? Why?

Well, I got to thinking about you,

what'd be the right thing to do

and... got me such a thirst
I just couldn't help it.

That's no reason.

Only reason I got.

Think they'd throw me out
for a thing like that?

I don't know.

They wouldn't throw a man out
for just one little drink.

That wasn't just one little drink.

Then square it for me with 'em, Jamie.

Listen to me...

There may be this and that
we don't like about it,

but you and me,
we got a good thing going here.

We'd be fools
if we got ourselves shut out.

You mean we're not gonna do anything
about the wagon?

I'm trying to get you
to see it my way, boy!

We're not going anywhere?

I didn't say that.

I...

I... I can't even think.

I feel so poorly.

Mr. Cartwright.

What is it, Jamie?

I want to pay for the brandy he took.

And how do you propose to do that?

Well, I figured next time
you went into town for supplies,

I could go with you and maybe chore
the livery stable until it was paid off.

Don't you think
that's John's responsibility?

I want to pay for it.

Jamie...

I'm proud of you

for standing up for a friend

and for wanting
to take on his responsibility,

but, Jamie, don't read more into a man
than common sense tells you is there.

Will you let me pay for it?

Did you understand what I said?

Yes, sir.

All right.

All right, you can pay for it.

Thank you.

What you do here?

Oh, look at what you made me do.

I make you do? You did it.

You go, you get out of my kitchen.

- Let me find what I'm looking for.
- Go, go!

Where do you keep the corkscrew?

Get away from me!

Put that down.

- I wasn't gonna use it.
- Put that down.

I was just looking for a corkscrew.

Jamie...

would you leave us, please?

Now what's all this about?

Look, he make a big mess
of my kitchen.

Oh, he made me do it.
He comes sneaking in on me.

He scared me half to death.

I was just looking for something
for my stomach.

You get out of my kitchen!

You don't give me no orders.

Mr. Cartwright, you tell him
stay out of my kitchen.

Humph!

I guess you're gonna
send me down the road.

You'd have been down
that road a long time ago

if it hadn't been for Jamie.

Well, you think I don't know that?

Remember, you put me on notice
right at the start.

'Cept I know something you don't.

Wasn't for me,
you could have lost him.

And what's that supposed to mean?

Well, he's got this notion
he wants me to help him

fix up a wagon he found,

go out with him on the road,
like his daddy used to.

But I talked him out of it.

Why?

Because it suited your purpose?

You've been using that boy,
playing on him ever since you got here.

Do you have
any feelings for him at all?

Of course I do.

That's why I'm here.

Just wanted something
to nail myself together

so I can brace up and make
an appearance for him.

Oh, of course.

You weren't looking
for an excuse for a drink, were you?

You're right, I was.

I'm a liar, Mr. Cartwright.

That's a sorry fact, I'm a liar.

But when you're broke, sick, and old,
everybody just turns their back on you.

And you go hungry
and you sleep in ditches.

It gets so even just
a dry corner to lay in

is something to dream about.

Sure hope you won't throw me out.

You certainly haven't acted like
somebody who wanted to stay.

- Want me to go, just say so.
- No.

I'll tell you when.

Thank you.

Thank you kindly.

Why'd you have to do it for?

Don't you be at me, boy.
I had enough jawin'.

'Til you ask too much,

expect everybody to act
just like you act.

Do everything you think's right.

Of course you can't even
act like a human being

around neither one of you.

Can't even take one little drink,
even if his insides is burning up.

Don't play with the bird, boy,
he don't like it.

Yes, he does.

I said he don't like it.

Come here, Lucifer. Come on.

Come on over here to Daddy.

Atta baby.

He's my bird, John.

He ain't.

He is so, you gave him to me

because I got it fixed up
so you could stay here.

Well, I ain't stayin'
so I'm taking him back.

I don't care what you do.

Well, the payroll's almost finished.

Off to bed, Jamie?

- Yes.
- Uh, Jamie...

come on over here.

Jamie...

let me tell you about, uh, older people.

I'm gonna get a cup, Pa,
you want one?

No, thank you.

Sometimes they do foolish things.

In fact, sometimes they act
more like children than children do,

without realizing the consequences.

And John is old.

He's had a very hard life.

Now, in some ways
you're more grown-up than he is.

Hey, how about some
milk and cookies, huh?

All right.

- Lucifer, bring that back!
- Hey, Lucifer!

- Lucifer, get back here!
- Lucifer, Lucifer!

Lucifer!

I don't see him.

Hey, what happened anyhow?

Oh, that bird flew off with a $20 bill.

- Where?
- How do I know where?

Where's it at?

- Where's what?
- You know what, the money.

Where is it? Did he bring it to you?

Well, I don't know
what you're talking about.

Look, John, give me
the money and I'll tell 'em

you didn't have anything
to do with it, please?

Lucifer...

took some of my money, John.

Do you happen to see where he put it?

Well, I don't know nothing
about no money.

Well, uh, he probably
dropped it outside somewhere.

We'll look for it in the morning.

If we find it, of course,
we won't have to search for it.

See you then.

Well, don't look at me like that, boy.
I ain't done anything.

Why don't you just go?

Well?

Flew the coop, mule, crow, and all.

Does Jamie know?

Yeah.

It ain't losing the crow
that's got Jamie upset as much, Pa,

it's John turning out like he did.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's true, and...

I guess Jamie felt that with John, he...

It was like having his father back
'cause his father was a traveling man.

Yeah. Pa...

With that much money on him,

he'd head straight for town,
wouldn't he?

What will you do if you find him?

Well, I'll talk to him,
try to talk him into coming back.

If I can't do that,
I'll at least try to get him

to give the crow back
to Jamie, something, anything.

Good luck.

Whoa, whoa.

Hey, John.

John!

Hey, John.

It'll take more than that
to wake him up.

Hey, he ain't just drunk, he's sick.

He's burning up.

He wasn't when I found him.

- I'd better get a doctor.
- Yeah.

Just bring him on out
to the Ponderosa.

- I want to take him out there.
- All right.

Lay still back there, John,
you're a pretty sick feller.

Where are you taking me, Hoss?

To the Ponderosa.

You're gonna
need some nursemaidin',

and the doc says
he can't do it by himself.

He says you got
more booze in your veins

than you have blood,
and we're gonna wring you out.

I ain't goin'.

You ain't got much choice
in the matter.

A tomcat could push you over.

I sold Jamie's crow.

Yep. We're gonna have to tell him.

I lied to him.

I told him I knew his pa
and I ain't never even seen him.

Uh-huh.

I took that money.

Yep, you're a pretty
disreputable fella, ain't you?

Ain't worth the hole to bury me in.

I reckon Jamie's pretty sore.

Well, he's sorta cut up at that.

Ain't gonna be easy to face him, Hoss.

Whoa, whoa.

I sold your crow, boy.

Why'd you bring him back?

Jamie...

he's a sick man.

I don't care if he dies.

Hey, Jamie.

It's about time you faced up
to some facts, boy.

He's the same man he always was.

It was you that tried to make him
something he wasn't.

Now, you can't blame him

for... for not being able
to live up to it.

He's a liar and a thief.

He's also a sick man, he's near dead.

Well, then, why didn't you just
leave him where you found him?

I'm going to tell him I'm sorry.
I didn't mean what I said.

John?

John?

John?

Hoss! Hoss!

Mr. Cartwright!

He's dead.

Hey, Pa.

Look at that.

That's a strange one.

Yeah.

He went in his sleep, Jamie.

It was real easy.

No.

He said that was the worst way to die.

How do you mean?

Alone.

Nobody around to give a hoot about it.

That's what he was afraid of,
and that's why he came here.

That's the way he died.

Thinking nobody gave a hoot.

I don't think so.

Read that.

He must have wrote it there at the end
like a will and testament.

"I bequeath to my friend Jamie Hunter

"all of my earthly possessions,
which ain't much,

"including my crow."

But I don't understand.

This doesn't mean anything.
He didn't have anything.

Oh, of course
it means something, boy.

Don't you see? It means that
along toward the end there

that... that his mind
must have slipped back

to the time when he had the crow,
and when you and him was friends,

and... and you cared about him,
and he knew it.

Don't you see?
That's all that counts, Jamie,

is when he died, he felt like
somebody cared about him,

that... that you was his friend.

Don't you see?