Bob's Burgers (2011–…): Season 8, Episode 5 - Thanks-hoarding - full transcript

Okay, I think I have it

- all nailed down now.
- _

If I start the carrots
at 11:30 tomorrow,

they should be done
right when the turkey

needs its last basting,

and everything will be
ready for our noon meal.

Did I tell you guys
I'm using a new brine?

- You may have mentioned it.
- The brine blogs are going nuts.

I wasn't listening.

- Tell me again.
- Gene, no.

Well, you can add orange peel...



Orange peel for flavor.

- You told us, Bob.
- We know.

Don't overthink it. You get yourself

all wound up, and it's a real turnoff.

Well, it helps to say it
out loud so I get it right.

And, you know, most people

would be turned on by a new brine.

Bob! Bob. Bob.

- Uh, what?
- I need your help.

I was supposed to go to my
sister's for Thanksgiving,

like I do every year, but
now my mom's flying in,

so it's easier for my
sister to pick her up

and then come to my
place to have dinner!

Oh, how fun.



How many people are you having?

I don't know. My sister,
her husband, my mom,

my mom's new, slightly
age-inappropriate boyfriend.

It's not fun, Linda. I
got to cook and what, uh,

set out plates? Right?
Is that what you do?

I don't know how to
do any of that stuff!

- You got to come over to help me!
- Okay.

Teddy, I don't know. We closed early,

and I still barely have enough time

to do everything I have
to do for our Thanksgiving.

I have a new brine I'm trying,

and I-I was thinking
about spatchcocking.

Spatchcocking? With
those hips? Honey, no.

Gene. It's when you take the
backbone out of the turkey

and you press it flat.
It cooks more evenly.

I thought women had to deal
with unfair body expectations.

Bob, come on, I'm desperate here.

I'm asking you, help me out.

All right, well, I-I guess
I could write out

some basic instructions for you.

- Write-write-write it up.
- Bob, no.

Come on, where's your Turkey Day spirit?

It won't take much time.

We'll come over and help
you, Teddy, all right?

Fine.

♪ Wah-wah. ♪

- Louise.
- You're coming, too, Miss Missy.

Many hands make work
easier. Or something.

♪ Bwah-bwah ♪ to you, Louise.

Yeah, that's not how it
goes. You sound ridiculous.

Well, we got you a good bird, Teddy.

Almost as good as the one I left at home

that I wish I was with right now.

I miss him. But that's okay.

So, first I'll show
you how to do the rub.

I could use a rub.

I'm holding a little spelling
test tension right back here.

We're talking about the bird,
Gene. We're gonna rub it.

- Fine, I'll go second.
- Okay.

So, where are you
gonna set up your table?

Here in the middle of the room?

Show us exactly where
you want your guests

- to be underwhelmed.
- Louise.

Oh, I was just thinking
that we'd put everything

- on the coffee table.
- Perfect.

- Then we sit on the couch, right?
- Very sad.

Okay. And then we pull the chairs over.

- Yeah.
- No.

- Right? Nice and cozy, though, right?
- Eh.

Tell you what, you and
Bob start on the food,

and the kids and I will
set up out here, okay?

All right, sounds great.

Okay. I think there are some candles

in the closet here, but
stay out of that room.

Nothing much in there... just
a couple of personal things.

All right, we'll figure it out.

- Go, go learn how to cook.
- "Bam." Right?

That's what Emeril does. "Bam"?

- Teddy, go!
- Right?

- Go.
- Okay, right. Yes, going.

Huh. Lot of stuff.

Like unopened, blank VHS tapes.

And old thermometers.

If those tips could talk.

Kids, don't touch those.
Put that stuff back.

Let's keep looking for the candles.

Don't touch anything gross.

Okay, Teddy, Thanksgiving is

the most important meal of the year,

which makes the turkey,
like, the king of foods.

Here he comes, right?

- Yep, the king.
- Okay. Got it.

All right. And the trick is,
with the rubs,

- is to go under the skin. All right?
- Yep.

- So you start at the bottom,
- Yeah.

And then you massage in the rub

- and gently make your way to the neck.
- Wow.

- Yeah. Think of the meat as the canvas
- Oh.

- And the rub as the paint.
- Lot of metaphors, Bobby.

You know what? I'm already doing it,

- so I'll-I'll just finish.
- Right. You finish.

- Yeah.
- Because I'm...

It's actually making
me sick. Is that normal?

I'll tell you what, you can start
peeling the carrots if you want.

- One less thing to do tomorrow.
- Right, right.

- On it. Give me space.
- All right. Good. Yep.

Okay, just grab the peeler right there

- and peel the carrots.
- This?

That's the spatula.

I knew that. This?

Th-That's a ladle.

The... I-It's that thing
right next to the carrots.

- This?
- That's the spatula again.

- It's...
- No, right. Yes. Right.

It's right there. It's the only thing

that looks like it could peel a carrot.

Right. Why didn't you just say that?

Oh, my God.

- I'm not an idiot.
- You're holding the blade.

- No, I got it. Right.
- You're holding the blade.

- Hold the handle. Teddy.
- Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!

- Easy. Easy. Easy.
- Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!

- Uh-oh. Uh, you know what?
- Ow. How do you... Ow. Ow.

Once I'm done with the rub,
we'll put this in the fridge,

- and I'll help you with that.
- Is this peeled enough?

It's not peeled at all.

Still no candles.

But lots of chopsticks.

Maybe we can arrange them like candles?

If we soak 'em in gas,
they'll burn real pretty.

Never mind, it's filled with pennies.

So am I. You don't hear
me bragging about it.

Let's check in here.

But Teddy said not to go in there.

He's probably hiding something creepy,

like a dead body or an indoor hot tub.

Ah, let's just take a little peek.

- Whoa.
- Oh, my God!

Teddy's a hoarder.

Oh, so, just snap off the tops, huh?

Th-That's it. Nice and easy.

Off with their heads.

Eh. Bob, open up.

Ugh. That's the... that's
the part you don't eat.

- You do it.
- Ah...

Mmm, those are good.
Give me the other one.

So, tomorrow, you just take this guy out

- and put him in the oven for...
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Don't say another word.
I'm gonna write it all down.

Let me get some paper.

Teddy?

- Aah.
- What the... ?

- Uh, surprise.
- Oh. Oh.

We found your dining room.

- Aah.
- We're cleaning it out

so you can have
Thanksgiving dinner in there.

What? No, that's a storage room.

Oh, whoa.

But we found a dining table
under all of the stuff.

Oh, and it's a beaut.

Look at those legs.

- I'd let that hold my turkey.
- Right?

Yep. And Gene, Louise and I

are trying to see who
can find the best thing.

How do you decide
what the best thing is?

You know it when you see it.

I'm the front-runner with
that Gerald Ford bobble-head

that doesn't bobble.

- Knock, knock.
- Who's there?

- A box of doorknobs.
- A box of doorknobs who?

Teddy has a box of
doorknobs for some reason.

New front-runner.

Oh, good knock-knock.

Okay, now let's-let's
get all that stuff back.

Come on, guys. That'll be fun, right?

Put all the... Put
the... put that stuff back

and just close the doors! Ow!

Oh, I think that ship has sailed, Teddy.

Yeah, it would take us

just as long to put everything back

as it would to fix up the dining room.

♪ Where you'll have the
best Thanksgiving ever ♪

♪ You're welcome. ♪

- Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God.

I can't believe all of
this was in one room.

You guys weren't supposed to see it.

I can't wait to grow
up and get my own place

with a room full of newspapers
and engine parts and...

what is this, some sort of hookah?

- It's an aquarium pump.
- Do you have an aquarium?

No. I was gonna get the pump working

and then... go from there.

Hmm. Want to talk about
the two-legged chairs?

- No, I do not.
- Uh, Linda,

can I have a word with
you in the kitchen?

Are we sure we want to get into this?

Teddy is a hoarder.

I-I mean, I thought he had so little,

but he has too much.

Exactly, Bob.

And that hoarder needs our help.

Shouldn't we call a doctor or a TV show?

Bob, he's our friend.

We need to be here for him, okay?

Lin, we came here to help him

cook his Thanksgiving
dinner, and we did that.

We don't have time to
de-hoard his dining room.

But the dining room is
part of Thanksgiving.

And when he sits at that table
and he says what he's thankful for,

he'll say, "Linda.

And the rest of those darn Belchers."

- Uh, fine.
- Oh, your breath.

Okay, Teddy, all we have to do is get

- rid of some of this stuff, right?
- What?!

I-I mean, we're gonna change
the location of some of it

from inside your house
to not inside your house.

Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy.

And you can have a nice Thanksgiving

with your family at
the dining room table.

The living room is nice enough.

Plus, there's a big stain on the table.

Yeah, how'd that get there?

I sanded it down to refinish
it, but then I started working

on this cuckoo clock to fix that.

And then the cuckoo scared me,

and I spat grape juice everywhere.

If we find that son of a bitch cuckoo,
I call it for best thing.

Ah, well, that's what
tablecloths are for.

Tablecloth? What's a tablecloth?

How about a sheet?

I can't do that. I just
have the one on my bed.

And that one's probably got
enough food stains on it.

Well, kids, call time-out
on your little game.

Find something we can use as a runner

to cover up the stain
on the table, okay?

Teddy, I might regret asking this,

but why do you have all this stuff?

It's not "stuff," Bob. It's things.

Mm-hmm. -Things I'm fixing
up. I'm a handyman, you know.

Right. And I'm a cook,

but I don't keep 600 pounds
of food in my dining room.

N-Never mind. You're... You'll be fine.

I-I'm gonna write down
instructions for your dinner.

Okay, Teddy, I heard of a technique

for de-cluttering where
you hold something up

and you ask, "Does this love me?"

Go on.

Does this stool love me? Yes.

But is it in love with you?

Teddy and a stool, sitting in a tree...

T-R-E-E-E-E-E.

Kids, shh-shh.

What about this?

An old telephone without a receiver.

That loves me. It really does.

Like, almost too much.
It's embarrassing.

Okay, I'll tell you what.

I'm gonna put these into piles

that I think will help you decide

whether or not they love you, okay?

What are we gonna do with all
the stuff that doesn't love him?

Burn it? In the alley?

Maybe. No.

Teddy, can you get a Dumpster over here?

Whoa, whoa, whoa. A Dumpster?

I was thinking, like, maybe just
a couple of armloads of stuff.

Maybe a small shopping bag.

See if we get that filled up.

Teddy, look at all this. It's a lot.

I know, but getting a
Dumpster on such short notice?

The permits, the red tape...
What am I supposed to do,

just call the Dumpster Fairy?

You know construction people, right?

I guess I could call Dennis.

Is Dennis the Dumpster Fairy?

Or our fairy god-Dumpster?

All right, I'm gonna go
call him from the bedroom

so you can't hear me
swearing about all this.

- Could we use this as the runner?
- Eh.

- It's not very Thanksgivingy.
- _

The back is a festive beige.

Yeah, I guess that could work.

All right, go get plates and silverware

from the kitchen and set up the table.

Okay, Dennis is bringing a
Dumpster by in a little while.

Oh, good!

He says he's gonna
borrow it from a job site,

but it already has some stuff in it.

And if anyone comes and
asks anything about it,

we're supposed to say,
"Vinny said it was okay."

Great.

And if they say, "Vinny's
out of the joint?"

we say, "Yeah, Vinny's out,
and he's got big plans."

- Okay.
- Not a whole lot of plates

- and only one fork.
- Hmm.

There's plastic
utensils and paper plates

from takeout in the
drawer next to the sink.

I knew I was saving those for something.

You kids do that, and
I'll keep going with Teddy.

Okay, Teddy. Does this love you?

- Yes.
- Wrong.

You're mistaking lust for love.

Oh, the Dumpster's here. It's here.

I can't look. I mean, I'm
gonna go back in the kitchen

- and see what Bob's doing.
- Okay, I'll handle it.

- Do I tip or... ? What, what...
- Tip your fake hat

and say, "Thank you, milady."

Okay, Teddy. I-I did all the work...

All of it... and wrote down

exactly when you're supposed
to put these in the oven.

It's foolproof.

"Put in oven at 2:00
for 45 minutes at 350 degrees."

Right? Is that a five or an "S"?

It's a five. You just said it.

350 degrees. Why-why
would it be an "S"?

I don't know. I'm nervous,
Bob! I'm freaking out here!

Why are you so
nervous? It's just your family.

I know, but I've never hosted before.

And everything was all put
away and now it's everywhere.

And it's different. I'm just nervous.

- I'm gonna go get my camera.
- Your camera? Why?

Okay, I'm back, ha-ha.
Uh, pick up a dish

and act like you're
putting it in the oven.

- Teddy, this is crazy.
- I'm a visual learner.

- It doesn't make any sense!
- Come on, Bobby, help me out!

Just pretend like you're putting
those carrots in the oven.

- Fine! How does my hair
look? - It-it's a little messy.

Can you push it over to the... ?

- Push it the other way.
- Just take the picture!

- Come on, just push it the other way.
- No.

That's how you want to
represent yourself cooking?

You're right, let me fix it.

Bob, Teddy, come out here please!

Okay, this is the pile that loves Teddy.

This is the pile that likes
him, but is ready to move on.

And this pile hates him.

- Hates him.
- Okay, what's the fourth pile?

- Oh, that stuff loves me.
- Loves her.

- I'm keeping that.
- Huh.

So everyone grab as much as
you can from these two piles,

and let's take 'em to the Dumpster!

I call the light-bulbs.
I promise I'll be super,

super gentle when I
throw them in the Dumpster

as hard as I can.

And I call this Magic 8-Ball
with all the water drained out.

- New best thing! Beat that!
- Impossible.

Hmm. My outlook for
beating that is not so good.

Isn't this great?

So nice and clean?

And your dining room looks so beautiful.

Yeah. It is...

I sure don't need all those things
that we put in the Dumpster.

- This is better.
- That's right.

- This is so much better.
- There he is.

This is a very, very
great... Nice job, everybody.

- Attaboy, attaboy.
- Right. Yup. - Nice job.

Well, glad we could help, so
we should probably go, right?

- Okay.
- Good luck tomorrow, Teddy.

Who needs luck when I
got these Polaroids? Ah.

That was a good 'un, Pa.

I'm a tryp-to-fan of what
you did with this turkey.

- Get it?
- It was so good and I ate so much,

- I can't even finish this...
- Pie?

Well, I was going to say "sentence."

- Eh, it was fine, I guess.
- What?

The-the turkey was a little dry.

That's why God invented gravy.

Or as I call it, turkey lube.

You're crazy, Bob. It was good.

And the timing of the yams was off.

They were a little cold by the
time everything else was done.

Who cares? It's all the
same temperature in here...

98 degrees "Fartenheit."

I really wish I had
spatchcocked the turkey.

We-we spent so much time at Teddy's,

I-I didn't have time to get into it.

Teddy's so lucky to
have friends like us.

I wonder how he's doing over there.

If he's following my
very clear instructions,

then he should be doing just fine.

Probably better than I did.

Hello.

Bob! I'm looking at your notes,

but the pictures don't match
and the green beans are burning,

or they're already
burnt, and I didn't know

if I was supposed to
start the turkey yet.

It's Teddy. He's not doing well.

Wait a minute, I messed
up our Thanksgiving.

Teddy's sounds like a disaster.

- You know what this means?
- Please don't say...

We have to go to Teddy's

to help him with his Thanksgiving,

- so I can redeem myself.
- So you can redeem yourself.

Oh, God.

Thanks for coming! Happy Thanksgiving!
What took you so long?!

Teddy, uh, wh-what happened to you?

What? When? What? Yes.

You look like you just got beat
up by an Edward Scissorhand.

I was rushing around, trying to
get everything ready for today,

and I caught my shirt
on the dresser handle,

and I turned around
to look what happened

and I went smack, right into the door!

Oh. What happened to your cheek?

I was trying to shave with an old razor.

I tried to tough it out, but I...

But it just got more and
more painful, so I stopped.

Is it noticeable?

Yeah, but you're making it work.

I smell something funky.

Ew. What is that?

Eh, it's probably me. I get panic stink.

- I-I don't think that's a real thing.
- It is.

Oh, it's real.

What? It just smells
kind of like my locker.

- Oh, no.
- And now you know.

Well, uh, maybe-maybe take a shower.

I already had two. It just
spreads the smell around.

Well, once I get the food going,

all anyone will smell
is delicious turkey.

Time to take back Thanksgiving!

Get ready for Turkey 2: Judgment Day!

All right, let me get
you a new shirt and, uh,

maybe wipe the blood off your face.

Oh, wait. What about some
place cards for the table?

That would spruce this
sucker up a little.

Good one, T.

Teddy, I'll go grab you a shirt.

Can you write in cursive?

Yeah, but this seems like
a bubble letter situation.

- A BLS.
- So what are the names of your family?

My sister and her
husband are Dana and Dan.

Just put "Mom" for my mom...
She'll know what that means.

And her boyfriend, oh, uh,
have I never used his name?

Me and my sister just call him Boy-toy,

but we can't write
that. Can we write that?!

- Yeah.
- No, no, no, no.

Let's just take a shot
and go with... Terry.

Okay, here you go. Just slip this on.

- Thanks, Linda.
- Oh, the smell.

Here, I brought some
aftershave for that.

Ooh. Now let me just flick your pits.

- Ha! Flick it.
- Right. Yeah, put it in there.

Okay. All right.

And a little on the cheeks.

- It burns! It burns!
- I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Ah. Oh, it stopped.

So where should we put these bad boys?

Definitely put my sister
next to her husband,

and my mom next to "Terry."

But who should I sit between?

Well, how do you usually do it?

Well, when I was a kid, I'd
just sit between my parents,

- so they wouldn't argue so much.
- Did it work?

Sometimes. But, boy, could they yell.

They would yell and yell,

and then my neighbors
would yell, "Shut up!"

And my mom would yell back,

"Mind your own business, Finelli's,

because you had problems last week!"

Linda, can I get a hand in here?

Teddy, hold that sad thought
for one sec. I'll be right back.

Would you, uh, give the potatoes a stir?

- I'm - I'm covered in poultry.
- Okay.

Oh, God, what are you doing?

I-I'm taking out the backbone.

It's how you get the turkey
flat for spatchcocking.

- What?
- I-I thought you'd want to see me do it.

Why is everyone so disgusted
by turkey preparation?

- It's beautiful.
- No.

Okay, but just watch this,
Lin. I have to crack the chest.

You have to be pretty strong to do this.

Good thing I... spatchcock!

- Oh, my face!
- Did I get ya?

- Did ya get...
- Yes! Oh, right in my mouth.

Oh, wash it off quick. That's...

Ugh, give me some wine.
Give me some wine.

- Oh. Yeah.
- Give me the wine. Oh, oh.

Ugh. Mmm. Good wine.

Good news, Teddy. The
dinner will be ready

right before your family arrives
and it's gonna be perfect!

Teddy?

Kids, have you seen Teddy?

- Not lately.
- We invited Teddy to join us

on the floor, but he hasn't RSVP'd.

We're taking a little
table-setting break.

You know, we just ate an
entire Thanksgiving meal

and now you're making
us do stuff, right?

- Teddy!
- Teddy, where are you?

Is he in the bathroom? Knock, knock.

No. Why does he need five plungers?

For different moods.

Oh, my God. Teddy's family

is on their way, and he's missing.

This is awful!

Oh, that's good.

We looked in every room, twice.

Where could Teddy have gone?

Did you try tapping his food bowl?

This is bad. His family's coming

and the perfect turkey's in the oven.

He can't have gone far;
let's check outside.

Teddy! Teddy!

- Teddy!
- Here, Teddy, Teddy, Teddy.

Teddy? Is that you?

- No.
- Okay, sorry to bother you.

Where is he?

Hey, Teddy, what are you doing?

Fixing the chair, obviously.

Don't know how it got in
here; it's perfectly good.

Uh, okay, but is this
a good time to do that?

It's a great time. I'm just
fixing a couple of things.

Maybe I'm gonna move 'em
upstairs if I want to.

Or it might be easier to
just move a couple things

from upstairs down here,
live in the Dumpster.

- Cheaper rent.
- Great light.

Kids, no. Teddy's not
living in the Dumpster.

Yeah, Teddy. This stuff
is going to the dump.

A-And you need to come upstairs.

This can't go to the
dump, Bob. It's not trash.

All this stuff can be fixed.

You don't just give up
on stuff; you can fix it.

It might be okay to give up
on the half a waffle maker.

I'm saving that until
I find the other half.

I'm a fixer, I fix things.

I've always been a fixer.

I'm gonna fix that waffle maker soon.

Oh, my God, I'm having a brain-smart.

Teddy, you sat between your parents

when they would argue.

You were the peacemaker.

- You were trying to fix things.
- Oh, yeah.

Your mom and dad are the two
halves of the waffle maker.

That makes you a waffle.

It's probably why you
like butter so much.

Oh, Teddy, I'm sorry.

We did this all too fast.

We pushed you too hard.

Yeah. You were just trying to help.

In kind of a judgey way.

Well, if keeping stuff to fix

helps get you through the
day, then what's the big deal?

It isn't hurting anybody, right?

Yeah, we all have our things.

Dad gets weird about Thanksgiving.

I-I don't get weird.

- I care too much, Tina be shopping.
- What?

- Mom has her wine.
- Oh, there it is. Thank you, Gene.

But this isn't my thing.

I mean, Thanksgiving
happens once a year.

It's not weird to try
and make it perfect.

You guys are weird.

Hello.

Oh, hey. Nothing.

What do you mean it sounds
like I'm in a Dumpster?

It's just kinda echo-y in
here because of my couch.

Oh. It did? Yeah, that happens.

Okay, then I-I guess I'll
see you guys tomorrow.

That was my sister.

My mom missed her flight,

and now my sister is
staying near the airport

so she can pick her up in the morning.

- Oh, no.
- Oh.

No. This is great.

I'm off the hook. Them
coming tomorrow is better.

- Tomorrow's better?
- Tomorrow's way better.

No pressure for a perfect
meal or perfect setting.

We'll just hang out.

Uh, I-I guess
it's-it's great.

Just, um, that was a lot of work,

completely for nothing.

I'll get over it.

But, Teddy, now you're
alone on Thanksgiving.

I'm fine. I'm just gonna bring
some of my stuff back upstairs.

Wait, the turkey's gonna
be ready in an hour,

and you have a whole
Thanksgiving dinner up there,

and, you know, we're here, so...

Oh. Hey, then... why don't you join me?

- We already ate.
- Oh, we, uh...

- Yeah, that's a good idea, Teddy.
- Mm.

Thank you. I mean, we
might as well stay, right?

Aw, and we'll help you carry
the stuff you want back up.

- Whoa. Whoa.
- I'm with her.

Yeah, my arms are pretty tired
from writing the place cards.

Kids, we're helping him. Grab something.

Hey, look, the other
half of the waffle maker.

- You found it.
- New best thing.

- I win!
- What?

No. Drained 8-Ball.

- Yeah, you're right.
- Yeah.

Ow.

We gotta get out of this Dumpster.

Well, that was the last of it.

The stuff you wanna keep is
back where it was. And then some.

Okay, my redemption dinner is served.

Wait, did you bring broken
chunks of concrete up here?

Yeah, that's good rebar.

You just break off the
concrete and voilà.

- Free rebar.
- Free-bar.

O-Okay. Well, let's eat
while everything's hot.

It does smell good.
Guess I could have a bite.

I could take a nibble.

If this is how I go, this is how I go.

Thank you guys for all
your help with my stuff.

And putting up with my stuff.

And making stuffing.

- It means a lot.
- Of course.

Okay, everyone, let's focus on the food.

I mean, we're all here for
Teddy, of course, but dig in.

Oh. Mmm, Bobby.

This is really good.

Mmm. This is amazing, Bob.

Mmm. It really is.

- Are you crying?
- No.

I'm-I'm... I'm just so happy.

This is so good I'm gonna wish for

a second stomach. Where's the wishbone?

I think the spatchcocking broke it.

I can fix it!

♪ An aquarium pump
don't belong in the dump ♪

♪ Give it to Teddy ♪

- I can fix it!
- ♪ Who really cares ♪

♪ About two-legged
chairs? No one but Teddy ♪

- I can fix it!
- ♪ A phone with no receiver ♪

♪ Should be chopped up with a
cleaver, 'less you're Teddy ♪

- I can fix it!
- ♪ But is a Gerald Ford bobble-head ♪

♪ That doesn't really
bobble worth your trouble? ♪

I can fix it!

♪ My parents were the two
halves of the waffle maker ♪

♪ That makes you the waffle ♪

♪ My parents were the
two halves of the waffle maker ♪

♪ That makes you the waffle ♪

♪ My parents were the
two halves of the waffle maker ♪

♪ That makes you the waffle ♪

♪ My parents were the
two halves of the waffle maker ♪

♪ That makes you the waffle. ♪