Bob's Burgers (2011–…): Season 4, Episode 2 - Fort Night - full transcript
Tricks and treats and lunatics abound.
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Why aren't you
guys in costume?
No one's gonna give you candy
without a costume.
Oh, is that how
trick or treating works, Darryl?
Yes.
How do we get the candy?
You put on a costume.
Okay.
And you go door to door.
Oh, no... we put on a costume!
Relax! We've got
the costume of costumes.
No need for the
attitude, Louise.
I just don't want you
to not have candy.
I know, Darryl.
Concern's coming
from a good place.
We're going as
a Chinese Dragon.
They'll be five of us inside.
But we'll say there's ten of us.
It's a trick to get more treats.
We'll be swimming in nougat.
I remember when I thought group
costumes were a good idea.
Too much work!
And not enough friends.
I'll admit,
it's ambitious,
but we have
our best people on it.
Why do we even have to do this?
Come on, is it so
hard to glue things?
And run a restaurant?
Yeah, it is.
Well, this is
what parents do.
They glue crap on stuff
for their kids... so glue!
I'm gluing.
We got a lot of stuff.
Glue, glue, glue!
I said...
Glue!
Please don't chant glue.
And glue and
glue and glue!
I think I'm too old
to trick-or-treat.
Next year I'm going
cold turkey.
When you go
from tween to teen,
you say good-bye
to Halloween.
You're never too old
for trick-or-treating.
Or holding hands
with dad.
When I say "Lou,"
you say "Eez."
Lou!
Oh, God.
- When I say Lou, you say Eez!
- Where is she?
Lou...
Who's that?
It's Millie Frock.
She wants to be my friend
or be me
or be a rap duo with me.
That's nice.
No, it's not nice, Tina!
It's not nice at all.
Lou...
... Eez!
Aah! No!
Oh, hi, Louise.
Tickle, tickle,
tickle, tickle.
Stop it!
What are you dressed as?
Remember?
Remember our plan?
You don't remember our plan?
You be dust,
I'll be bunny.
Dust bunny!
That is not our plan, Millie.
We didn't have a plan.
And even if we did,
even if we did get together
and sit down,
get some blueprints out,
have a cup of coffee,
why would I want to be dust?
Dust!
So you could be bunny?
Why?
That's exactly
what dust would say.
Good-bye.
Can't help
but notice you're not playing
the Halloween Scream CD
I gave you.
Uh, you know, I didn't
want to wear it out
before the kids
started coming around.
Where is it?
You have to... Oh!
- It's right there! Behind you!
- Oh, great.
Well, it can't
play itself, Bob.
You got to put it on
and hit "play."
Bobby, come on.
Play the sounds
of the holiday.
Well, we don't need
to right now, Teddy.
- Why not?
- We'll wait till the kids come.
Why?
Fine.
I'll just put it in.
Ooh.
I'm spooked.
Now you're all set for trick or
treaters in a couple of hours.
Wait, what time is it?
Oh, my God, Bobby,
the kids'll be home any minute!
And the costume's
not even close to finished.
What are we gonna do?
I don't know.
How about let them finish it?
Mort, Teddy,
wh-what are you doing right now?
Adjusting myself
without anyone noticing.
Watching Mort adjust himself.
Grab some glue.
Gonna be our Halloween elves!
Come on,
you don't have to be good,
you just have to be fast.
Why can't
all women want that?
All right, we'll go home,
finish the costume
and hit the streets.
Oh, I need to grab
the dragon eyes from the fort.
Why are they
in the fort?
I spray-painted
them in there.
Fine, we'll swing by the fort.
Yay!
Fort, fort, fort!
Fort? Hmm.
I didn't peg you guys
as the forting type.
Oh, we fort.
We fort big-time.
After you.
Uh... I don't know.
I got this thing about
being in small spaces.
Oh, you're gonna
be fine, Darryl.
Trust me.
When you come out of here,
you're gonna be afraid
of this small space...
that is the world.
Hey Lou Lou, where are you you?
Oh no, no, no, no, no!
She's right here.
I'm looking at her.
Shut up!
Quick, inside!
Hey, are we gonna play
in the fort
before we go trick-or-treating?
'Cause, uh... Louise,
you, you shut the door
before I could even get in.
Oh, sorry, Millie,
we're at capacity, so...
You always say that.
Now, come on, let me in!
Yeah, ah, god,
I sure wish I could
but it's kind of a one-in,
one-out situation.
The fire marshal's on our ass.
You understand, Millie.
Well, I'll wait.
Or-or you could
come back later, too.
We'll be here a while.
It'll thin out in a bit.
I'll get some more dust
for our costumes!
Dust bunny, think about it.
Seriously, think about it.
Okay, yeah.
I'm knocking it around
in my head right now.
I think it's
gonna be awesome!
All right, Millie.
It's gonna be great!
Bye, babe.
♪ La, la, la, la.
Whew, that was close.
Hurry up and get
the dragon eyes
before crazy comes back.
This fort is amazing.
I only feel
a little claustrophobic.
This would be
a great place to go
when my mom tells me
to go play outside.
All right, come on.
We'll give you the quickie tour.
This is Gene's room.
There's some odor.
Yes.
Found them!
And now the upstairs.
There's an upstairs?
Oh, yeah.
This is Tina's room.
- You can really feel the insecurity.
- Hmm. Mm.
I think it's nice.
You don't think it's nice?
No, no, it's nice.
It's nice.
VoilÃ.
Parlor de la Louise.
Lovely view.
The light's bad
for the upholstery.
- True, fading... it is an issue.
- Yeah.
So, what house will
be the first stop
on Tina's farewell
trick-or-treating tour?
Leave that to me.
This town might suck
at Halloween,
but not if you have this.
I give you...
the Treasure Trail.
Whoa!
Wow!
It took phone-polling,
mailing-lists,
and a blog I follow
called Candy Randy.
So houses with stars are?
Those are must-visits.
And houses with an X?
Must-avoids.
I'm talking raisins, pencils,
hand sanitizer, baby apples.
Sayonara, raisins.
Old grapes aren't candy!
Do you guys hear that?
What the...?
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
Hey, hey, hey!
Kids, kids inside!
Precious kids!
Yeah, Dino, I'm coming.
I'm coming. I just parked.
Yeah.
I can leave it
in the alley all night,
no one ever comes back here.
Yeah, I'm in costume.
They were all out
of Draculas
so I'm a fruit head
or something.
Did he just say
he's parking here all night?
That's what he said!
Oh, my God.
We're trapped.
Help!
Weak spots...
find the weak spots!
We can't be
totally boxed in here.
Concrete.
Metal.
- Concrete!
- And truck.
We're screwed.
Until that truck moves.
Which it's not
until tomorrow!
Oh, man, I'm starting
to freak out here.
Hello? It's later!
Oh, Millie.
Millie, Millie,
Millie, Millie, Millie.
Louise, you in there?
I am! Millie, you have
to get us out of here.
Go for help!
The truck pinned us in.
Someone needs to move it!
What? Oh, yeah.
Get the fire department!
And the police!
Just get everybody!
Oh, sure! Hey, Louise.
Hey, I was thinking,
let's get bunk beds
and live in the forest.
wow.
Or matching Murphy beds
that fold up into trees!
Millie,
this is Gene!
Hey, could you
go for help?
Oh yeah, I'm going to.
Hey, when I say Lou,
you say Eez.
Lou!
Eez. Okay. That was fun.
You can go now.
Lou!
Eez.
Okay, that is enough of that.
Lou.
Eez. That's plenty.
Lou...
Eez, Eez, Eez!
Go get some help,
you frickin' nutcase!
You creepy stalker
psycho kook!
Can you not
understand a hint?
Go... get... help!
Oh, wow. I see.
I see you don't like me, huh?
Of course I don't! Who would?
Who would?!
What are you doing?
Don't listen to her.
This is Gene again.
We think you're terrific.
Did you do something
with your hair?
You look great.
You seem real strong.
You been working out?
Louise, can you tell me this?
If dust hits the ground
and no one's around to hear it,
does it make a sound?
I don't know, Millie.
No, it doesn't.
So, I guess what I'm saying is
have fun spending
Halloween in a box.
Good one, Millie.
Silly Millie.
That was good.
How's it coming, Teddy?
Great, Lin!
All done.
Teddy, is that it?
Yeah, it's a dragon spike.
For the back.
Yeah, I know, Teddy.
- You're supposed to have 20 done by now!
- Oh.
Bobby, how's
that foot coming?
Foot? I'm working
on the tail.
I'm doing the tail!
You're supposed
to do the foot!
No, you said,
"Bob, do the tail."
I know because I
remember thinking,
"You can't tail
me what to do."
Teddy?
That's funny.
No, it's not!
And I'm doing the tail!
My tail's better
than yours!
Ah...
Yours is really good.
Yeah, I know it is.
All right, fine!
I'll do the foot.
Pass me the sequins.
I would, but we're all
out because someone
that's my wife
has no concept
of how many sequins
she's using!
Are you talking about me?
God, yes.
Just go get some more!
Fine!
Great!
This might not be
a great time,
but I also made a tail.
We can not miss Halloween!
This is all
your fault, Louise!
You were mean to Millie
and now we're stranded!
Yeah! She seems...
really cool.
Okay, I'm hearing a lot of blame
being thrown around
loosey goosey right now.
♪ Somebody's in friend jail
♪ Somebody's
in friend jail ♪
♪ And friend jail
lasts forever. ♪
Hey, Millie.
Oh, don't mind me.
I'm just collecting spiders
for an experiment.
Cool, I collect
porcelain horses.
I experiment with where
I put them on my dresser.
Well, this experiment is called
"see how much you freak out
"when I release spiders
into the fort
you're trapped in."
Seal it up, Gene!
Seal it!
I have
a thing about spiders!
You have a thing
about everything!
But especially spiders.
They're scary.
Andy's still in there!
Let him out!
We can't!
Then we'd all
get spidered!
I'll never forget you, Andy.
I'll be with you
every time you look
in the mirror.
What?
'Cause we look alike.
Never mind!
Oh!
No, I get it now!
I didn't want those
to be my last words!
Why?!
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
What the...?
Hold on.
Andy, get up.
They're fake spiders.
I thought I was a goner.
I felt you die.
Oh, my God.
We're closed.
What? No, no, no.
I'm-I'm making a dragon.
For my kids.
We're-we're halfway through,
We just need another bag
to finish.
When you wait
until the last minute
to buy art supplies,
you pay the price!
Harold!
You heard her, Bob Fosse.
We're closed.
Bob Fosse?
Look, I just need one bag.
That's it.
Oh! Bob Fosse doesn't need
more than one bag.
Oh!
I'm not Bob Fosse!
- I'm making a costume for my...
- Ooh.
- Ooh.
- I'm just taking these. Here's money.
No, no!
Ooh, Mr. Bob Fosse...
... just running away!
Oh, no!
Stop!
Yes, I hear you honking!
I'm just trying to make
a costume for my kids!
It's a dragon!
Trick or treat!
Oh, and what are you dressed as?
We switched shirts.
I'm Ollie.
I'm Andy.
Here's a rusted nine
volt battery for you.
- Ooh.
- And a used coffee filter for you.
Thanks.
Happy Halloween.
Want to trade?
Yeah.
This is a mockery!
But I will take
a coffee filter.
Thanks.
This isn't how I wanted
to spend
my last Halloween, Louise.
I'm handing out batteries
in a box full
of Gene's farts.
It's not fulyet!
Uh-oh.
Ow!
Why is my butt wet?
Butts get wet, Tina.
It's what they do.
Or maybe it's from that.
Hmm.
Must be garbage juice
from the Dumpster next door.
I'm getting pinto beans,
some sandpaper...
Guys, we just found our way out.
Gene, is she out there?
What do you hear?
Nothing.
Except for Tina's breathing.
You picking that up?
Loud and loud.
All right, Andy, Ollie.
You two and me are
the only ones small enough
to fit through that hole
in the Dumpster.
I would go,
but I'm master-minding this.
So one of you two should go.
Which one of you was born first?
I was.
I came in second.
All right then, Ollie,
squeeze into the dumpster,
burrow through the trash,
jump out and run for help.
Just like when you came
out of your mom. Got it?
What did she mean by
"Came out of our mom?"
Okay, Ollie, get in there.
Go, go, go, go.
We just got
to get out of here, man.
Whatever it takes.
Getting so cramped in here.
Okay, you really don't need
to take your pants off.
I wish you were right.
Oh, hi.
Hi.
Ow!
How could Millie have possibly
known about our plan?
We whispered the whole time!
Well, there's only
one explanation, isn't there?
One of you, in this room...
in this sacred fort...
is a rat!
Oh, yeah! Yeah, yeah,
yeah. One of you is.
- Can you just tell me who it is?
- No.
Millie!
So, which one of you is the rat?
Tina, this is
your last Halloween ever.
You ratted us out to Millie
so we'd never have to leave,
didn't you?
What? I-I want to get out
more than anyone.
My childhood is slipping
through my candy-less fingers.
Maybe Gene's the rat.
Oh, please, let's just calm down
and take a spray paint nap.
Darryl, why are you wearing
your backpack?
Um...
Why are you wearing
your backpack, Darryl?
Answer the question.
I just want to make sure
I don't lose it.
Oh, really?
You don't want to lose it?
Because you think
you're getting out of here?
I am!
Millie, let me out of here!
I did my part,
you do yours!
She's not letting
you out, Darryl.
You fool! Why would you do this?
I'm weak, Louise.
I'm weak.
"Dear Millie, I need candy.
"Also I will need to poo soon.
Please let me out."
"Dear Darryl,
"Help me help you poo.
"Be my man on the inside.
Love, Millie."
I couldn't let
the Treasure Trail go to waste!
If you hadn't told her
about our escape plan,
we could have used
our plan to escape!
Oh, that's so obvious now,
isn't it?
I'm sorry it's hard for me to
think when my pants are off.
I just want candy!
All right, all right.
It's okay, Darryl.
You didn't know
what you were doing.
Huh, buddy?
No.
My pants are off.
Yeah.
So, what do we do with a snitch?
You did the crime,
now you do the time.
Andy and Ollie...
Burp 'n Blow.
Poor bastard.
That smells nice.
You guys eat sherbet?
Cucumber soap.
I ate a flower.
This is the one day
you don't eat
peanut butter
and tuna for lunch?
You ruined Burp n' Blow torture!
It's pretty bad.
It's not. It's fun.
It's festive.
- No.
- It looks like it's from China.
No, China would be furious
about this dragon.
They love dragons there.
Hey, where are the kids?
They should've been home by now.
Oh, my God, they're lost!
Not on Halloween!
Lin, easy.
They're dead.
- No, they're not dead.
- They're dead.
No, I know it, they're dead.
No, I bet they're
in that fort they built.
21Oh, yeah.
Ugh, that fort.
Well, it is pretty cool
once you get inside.
What do you mean inside?
They let you in?
- I thought we weren't allowed.
- I wasn't supposed to say anything.
But it's great.
Why can't I go in?
I-I don't know, I...
And there's a ton
of rules they have,
so... I guess...
that was one of them.
Right, right,
right, whatever.
We're gonna go to that
fort and we're getting
those little should-be
trick-or-treaters
and we're shoving them
inside this thing.
Hey, you guys, I was
just trick-or-treating!
Mmm, this candy's so good.
Oops, I dropped some.
Good thing there's more
where that came from.
You monster!
You can't do this to us!
- Uh, it's just down here.
- Yeah, I know where it is,
Mr. I've Been In The Fort
Before And You Haven't.
That's right, I have.
They were inside my
fort for a long time.
That's the original fort.
Bob and Linda.
Uh...?
Huh.
Millie Frock.
Louise's friend?
Hey, you know,
I just ran into
Louise and Gene and Tina
trick-or-treating.
- What?
- They're trick-or-treating without their costume?
We've been slaving
away all day!
Where? Where are they?
I don't know the name of the
street, 'cause I'm a little kid.
But if you follow me,
I can show you.
Skip like this.
I don't want to skip.
I said skip!
Who is this kid?
I like her.
She's fun.
So last year was
my last Halloween
and I didn't even know it.
I wish I could
go back in time
and tell myself
to enjoy it more.
And also, not to go
into this fort.
I wish I could go
back ten seconds ago
before I ate cardboard.
Uh-oh, I'm doing it again.
Hmm.
Wait.
Guys, take a look at this.
What is it, rat?
You see those
buttons on the truck?
Yeah.
We just have to find a way
to hit the "up" button
and boom, the roof is lifted.
And how exactly are we going
to hit the button, huh?
You gonna snitch on it?
No, we use this.
Darryl,,
you're my favorite kind of rat.
A rat with a hanger.
Where'd she go?
Whew, she's a fast skipper.
So where are the kids?
I don't see them anywhere.
I'll tell you
where they are.
Not wearing their costume
on Ungrateful Avenue.
- Jerks.
- We worked so hard on this thing.
I fought the people
at the art supply store.
All that glue in my hair.
- I hate to see it go to waste.
- Yeah.
Trick or treat!
Oh, uh...
what are you supposed to be?
It's a dragon, duh.
It doesn't look like any
dragon I've ever seen before.
Yeah, well,
your doo's spid.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Aren't you a little bit old
to be trick or treating?
You're old.
You're probably 60.
I am 60... Hey!
We gonna get any candy or not?
No!
You have to give it.
Bob?
No.
Is that you?
No. What? Who's...?
Bob. From the burger place.
No. No way. I'm not...
I'd recognize you anywhere.
I'm nine.
That is hilarious.
It's still not me.
It's not me.
That is hilarious.
- Honey, come. It's Bob. From the burger place.
- I can't... We can't stay.
Just stay-stay there
Stay there. Stay there.
- I can't. We actually have to go.
- It's great.
- It's great. It's Bob and Linda.
- Bob, could you...?
- That's not... From the burger place.
- Nah.
Honey, they're pulling some
sort of... I don't know
- it's a prank or...
- Dave, I can't stay, I'm sorry.
Ah, hi...
But good to see you.
Steady...
- steady...
- I can't watch.
Mostly because I can't see.
You hear that? It's working!
Uh...
You hit the wrong button!
Turn it off!
- Turn it off!
- I can't! The hanger's stuck!
Aah!
We're all gonna die!
Every meal I've ever eaten
is flashing before my eyes!
Oh, my god, my last
meal was cardboard.
This is not good
for my claustrophobia!
Wait, there's garbage.
We could use it,
we could stack it.
Yes! Stack the strong stuff.
Maybe we can stop this
thing from crushing us.
Ollie, Andy, get in there!
It's working!
Isn't it?
Yes!
The door! It's open!
- Crawl to freedom!
- Crawl to Halloween!
Crawl to candy!
My shoe!
Now our shoes will be together!
Whoa!
We did it!
We're alive!
Whew, we've still got a few
minutes left on the candy clock.
What about our costume?
Screw the costume.
There's no time!
We only got a few minutes
left on the candy clock!
Did you not hear me?
But nobody will give us candy
if we're not wearing one.
Congratulations.
You're a robot.
Hold on, candy!
I'm coming for you!
Yeah!
Treasure Trail...
lead us to treasure.
Oh, come on!
No! No!
Turn them on!
Turn them on!
We're still here!
Don't you go off on me!
Aha! There you are.
You think you're too
good for your costume?
For us?
Costume?
What am I even looking at?
Godzilla's ding-dong?
It's a dragon, Gene.
It's not a dragon.
Yes, it is.
You asked to us to make
you a dragon, we did.
Wh-what are you?
Bean can head?
Yeah.
No.
Robot bean can head to you.
Oh.
Well, I bet we got more candy
than you did, so neh.
Wait, where is your candy?
- Long story.
- Actually, I could tell it pretty fast.
Well, at least
we can have some of yours.
Nah-uh, bean heads.
We get the candy.
Yum, yum, yum, yum.
No, we get the candy!
It's ours!
We're eating it all right now.
- Never!
- I want your candy! No!
Get them!
Get out of our dragon!
I thought I was done
with Halloween.
But it turns out,
Halloween's not done with me.
Aah!
Get out of our dragon!
Okay, Halloween's over.
I'm gonna eat more candy
in front of you guys.
But you can eat the mini boxes
of raisins I didn't want.
You'll need your strength
to make it through the ni...
Oh, my God, I killed them!
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
People are gonna be
so mad at me.
I'm gonna have
to find a therapist.
Oh, geez,
I hope I like my therapist.
You definitely won't.
Who said that?
The ghosts of us!
This is Gene's ghost! Aah!
We don't appreciate
being killed!
Boo. This is Tina's ghost.
Oh, no.
Oh, I didn't mean to kill you.
I was just gonna keep you
in there until you got old.
Give us your candy, you nutcase.
All of it? Or-or do you
just want some of it?
Or do you want to trade?
All of it!
Here, take it!
Happy Halloween.
Thanks for killing us.
Heaven's nice.
Why aren't you
guys in costume?
No one's gonna give you candy
without a costume.
Oh, is that how
trick or treating works, Darryl?
Yes.
How do we get the candy?
You put on a costume.
Okay.
And you go door to door.
Oh, no... we put on a costume!
Relax! We've got
the costume of costumes.
No need for the
attitude, Louise.
I just don't want you
to not have candy.
I know, Darryl.
Concern's coming
from a good place.
We're going as
a Chinese Dragon.
They'll be five of us inside.
But we'll say there's ten of us.
It's a trick to get more treats.
We'll be swimming in nougat.
I remember when I thought group
costumes were a good idea.
Too much work!
And not enough friends.
I'll admit,
it's ambitious,
but we have
our best people on it.
Why do we even have to do this?
Come on, is it so
hard to glue things?
And run a restaurant?
Yeah, it is.
Well, this is
what parents do.
They glue crap on stuff
for their kids... so glue!
I'm gluing.
We got a lot of stuff.
Glue, glue, glue!
I said...
Glue!
Please don't chant glue.
And glue and
glue and glue!
I think I'm too old
to trick-or-treat.
Next year I'm going
cold turkey.
When you go
from tween to teen,
you say good-bye
to Halloween.
You're never too old
for trick-or-treating.
Or holding hands
with dad.
When I say "Lou,"
you say "Eez."
Lou!
Oh, God.
- When I say Lou, you say Eez!
- Where is she?
Lou...
Who's that?
It's Millie Frock.
She wants to be my friend
or be me
or be a rap duo with me.
That's nice.
No, it's not nice, Tina!
It's not nice at all.
Lou...
... Eez!
Aah! No!
Oh, hi, Louise.
Tickle, tickle,
tickle, tickle.
Stop it!
What are you dressed as?
Remember?
Remember our plan?
You don't remember our plan?
You be dust,
I'll be bunny.
Dust bunny!
That is not our plan, Millie.
We didn't have a plan.
And even if we did,
even if we did get together
and sit down,
get some blueprints out,
have a cup of coffee,
why would I want to be dust?
Dust!
So you could be bunny?
Why?
That's exactly
what dust would say.
Good-bye.
Can't help
but notice you're not playing
the Halloween Scream CD
I gave you.
Uh, you know, I didn't
want to wear it out
before the kids
started coming around.
Where is it?
You have to... Oh!
- It's right there! Behind you!
- Oh, great.
Well, it can't
play itself, Bob.
You got to put it on
and hit "play."
Bobby, come on.
Play the sounds
of the holiday.
Well, we don't need
to right now, Teddy.
- Why not?
- We'll wait till the kids come.
Why?
Fine.
I'll just put it in.
Ooh.
I'm spooked.
Now you're all set for trick or
treaters in a couple of hours.
Wait, what time is it?
Oh, my God, Bobby,
the kids'll be home any minute!
And the costume's
not even close to finished.
What are we gonna do?
I don't know.
How about let them finish it?
Mort, Teddy,
wh-what are you doing right now?
Adjusting myself
without anyone noticing.
Watching Mort adjust himself.
Grab some glue.
Gonna be our Halloween elves!
Come on,
you don't have to be good,
you just have to be fast.
Why can't
all women want that?
All right, we'll go home,
finish the costume
and hit the streets.
Oh, I need to grab
the dragon eyes from the fort.
Why are they
in the fort?
I spray-painted
them in there.
Fine, we'll swing by the fort.
Yay!
Fort, fort, fort!
Fort? Hmm.
I didn't peg you guys
as the forting type.
Oh, we fort.
We fort big-time.
After you.
Uh... I don't know.
I got this thing about
being in small spaces.
Oh, you're gonna
be fine, Darryl.
Trust me.
When you come out of here,
you're gonna be afraid
of this small space...
that is the world.
Hey Lou Lou, where are you you?
Oh no, no, no, no, no!
She's right here.
I'm looking at her.
Shut up!
Quick, inside!
Hey, are we gonna play
in the fort
before we go trick-or-treating?
'Cause, uh... Louise,
you, you shut the door
before I could even get in.
Oh, sorry, Millie,
we're at capacity, so...
You always say that.
Now, come on, let me in!
Yeah, ah, god,
I sure wish I could
but it's kind of a one-in,
one-out situation.
The fire marshal's on our ass.
You understand, Millie.
Well, I'll wait.
Or-or you could
come back later, too.
We'll be here a while.
It'll thin out in a bit.
I'll get some more dust
for our costumes!
Dust bunny, think about it.
Seriously, think about it.
Okay, yeah.
I'm knocking it around
in my head right now.
I think it's
gonna be awesome!
All right, Millie.
It's gonna be great!
Bye, babe.
♪ La, la, la, la.
Whew, that was close.
Hurry up and get
the dragon eyes
before crazy comes back.
This fort is amazing.
I only feel
a little claustrophobic.
This would be
a great place to go
when my mom tells me
to go play outside.
All right, come on.
We'll give you the quickie tour.
This is Gene's room.
There's some odor.
Yes.
Found them!
And now the upstairs.
There's an upstairs?
Oh, yeah.
This is Tina's room.
- You can really feel the insecurity.
- Hmm. Mm.
I think it's nice.
You don't think it's nice?
No, no, it's nice.
It's nice.
VoilÃ.
Parlor de la Louise.
Lovely view.
The light's bad
for the upholstery.
- True, fading... it is an issue.
- Yeah.
So, what house will
be the first stop
on Tina's farewell
trick-or-treating tour?
Leave that to me.
This town might suck
at Halloween,
but not if you have this.
I give you...
the Treasure Trail.
Whoa!
Wow!
It took phone-polling,
mailing-lists,
and a blog I follow
called Candy Randy.
So houses with stars are?
Those are must-visits.
And houses with an X?
Must-avoids.
I'm talking raisins, pencils,
hand sanitizer, baby apples.
Sayonara, raisins.
Old grapes aren't candy!
Do you guys hear that?
What the...?
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
Hey, hey, hey!
Kids, kids inside!
Precious kids!
Yeah, Dino, I'm coming.
I'm coming. I just parked.
Yeah.
I can leave it
in the alley all night,
no one ever comes back here.
Yeah, I'm in costume.
They were all out
of Draculas
so I'm a fruit head
or something.
Did he just say
he's parking here all night?
That's what he said!
Oh, my God.
We're trapped.
Help!
Weak spots...
find the weak spots!
We can't be
totally boxed in here.
Concrete.
Metal.
- Concrete!
- And truck.
We're screwed.
Until that truck moves.
Which it's not
until tomorrow!
Oh, man, I'm starting
to freak out here.
Hello? It's later!
Oh, Millie.
Millie, Millie,
Millie, Millie, Millie.
Louise, you in there?
I am! Millie, you have
to get us out of here.
Go for help!
The truck pinned us in.
Someone needs to move it!
What? Oh, yeah.
Get the fire department!
And the police!
Just get everybody!
Oh, sure! Hey, Louise.
Hey, I was thinking,
let's get bunk beds
and live in the forest.
wow.
Or matching Murphy beds
that fold up into trees!
Millie,
this is Gene!
Hey, could you
go for help?
Oh yeah, I'm going to.
Hey, when I say Lou,
you say Eez.
Lou!
Eez. Okay. That was fun.
You can go now.
Lou!
Eez.
Okay, that is enough of that.
Lou.
Eez. That's plenty.
Lou...
Eez, Eez, Eez!
Go get some help,
you frickin' nutcase!
You creepy stalker
psycho kook!
Can you not
understand a hint?
Go... get... help!
Oh, wow. I see.
I see you don't like me, huh?
Of course I don't! Who would?
Who would?!
What are you doing?
Don't listen to her.
This is Gene again.
We think you're terrific.
Did you do something
with your hair?
You look great.
You seem real strong.
You been working out?
Louise, can you tell me this?
If dust hits the ground
and no one's around to hear it,
does it make a sound?
I don't know, Millie.
No, it doesn't.
So, I guess what I'm saying is
have fun spending
Halloween in a box.
Good one, Millie.
Silly Millie.
That was good.
How's it coming, Teddy?
Great, Lin!
All done.
Teddy, is that it?
Yeah, it's a dragon spike.
For the back.
Yeah, I know, Teddy.
- You're supposed to have 20 done by now!
- Oh.
Bobby, how's
that foot coming?
Foot? I'm working
on the tail.
I'm doing the tail!
You're supposed
to do the foot!
No, you said,
"Bob, do the tail."
I know because I
remember thinking,
"You can't tail
me what to do."
Teddy?
That's funny.
No, it's not!
And I'm doing the tail!
My tail's better
than yours!
Ah...
Yours is really good.
Yeah, I know it is.
All right, fine!
I'll do the foot.
Pass me the sequins.
I would, but we're all
out because someone
that's my wife
has no concept
of how many sequins
she's using!
Are you talking about me?
God, yes.
Just go get some more!
Fine!
Great!
This might not be
a great time,
but I also made a tail.
We can not miss Halloween!
This is all
your fault, Louise!
You were mean to Millie
and now we're stranded!
Yeah! She seems...
really cool.
Okay, I'm hearing a lot of blame
being thrown around
loosey goosey right now.
♪ Somebody's in friend jail
♪ Somebody's
in friend jail ♪
♪ And friend jail
lasts forever. ♪
Hey, Millie.
Oh, don't mind me.
I'm just collecting spiders
for an experiment.
Cool, I collect
porcelain horses.
I experiment with where
I put them on my dresser.
Well, this experiment is called
"see how much you freak out
"when I release spiders
into the fort
you're trapped in."
Seal it up, Gene!
Seal it!
I have
a thing about spiders!
You have a thing
about everything!
But especially spiders.
They're scary.
Andy's still in there!
Let him out!
We can't!
Then we'd all
get spidered!
I'll never forget you, Andy.
I'll be with you
every time you look
in the mirror.
What?
'Cause we look alike.
Never mind!
Oh!
No, I get it now!
I didn't want those
to be my last words!
Why?!
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
What the...?
Hold on.
Andy, get up.
They're fake spiders.
I thought I was a goner.
I felt you die.
Oh, my God.
We're closed.
What? No, no, no.
I'm-I'm making a dragon.
For my kids.
We're-we're halfway through,
We just need another bag
to finish.
When you wait
until the last minute
to buy art supplies,
you pay the price!
Harold!
You heard her, Bob Fosse.
We're closed.
Bob Fosse?
Look, I just need one bag.
That's it.
Oh! Bob Fosse doesn't need
more than one bag.
Oh!
I'm not Bob Fosse!
- I'm making a costume for my...
- Ooh.
- Ooh.
- I'm just taking these. Here's money.
No, no!
Ooh, Mr. Bob Fosse...
... just running away!
Oh, no!
Stop!
Yes, I hear you honking!
I'm just trying to make
a costume for my kids!
It's a dragon!
Trick or treat!
Oh, and what are you dressed as?
We switched shirts.
I'm Ollie.
I'm Andy.
Here's a rusted nine
volt battery for you.
- Ooh.
- And a used coffee filter for you.
Thanks.
Happy Halloween.
Want to trade?
Yeah.
This is a mockery!
But I will take
a coffee filter.
Thanks.
This isn't how I wanted
to spend
my last Halloween, Louise.
I'm handing out batteries
in a box full
of Gene's farts.
It's not fulyet!
Uh-oh.
Ow!
Why is my butt wet?
Butts get wet, Tina.
It's what they do.
Or maybe it's from that.
Hmm.
Must be garbage juice
from the Dumpster next door.
I'm getting pinto beans,
some sandpaper...
Guys, we just found our way out.
Gene, is she out there?
What do you hear?
Nothing.
Except for Tina's breathing.
You picking that up?
Loud and loud.
All right, Andy, Ollie.
You two and me are
the only ones small enough
to fit through that hole
in the Dumpster.
I would go,
but I'm master-minding this.
So one of you two should go.
Which one of you was born first?
I was.
I came in second.
All right then, Ollie,
squeeze into the dumpster,
burrow through the trash,
jump out and run for help.
Just like when you came
out of your mom. Got it?
What did she mean by
"Came out of our mom?"
Okay, Ollie, get in there.
Go, go, go, go.
We just got
to get out of here, man.
Whatever it takes.
Getting so cramped in here.
Okay, you really don't need
to take your pants off.
I wish you were right.
Oh, hi.
Hi.
Ow!
How could Millie have possibly
known about our plan?
We whispered the whole time!
Well, there's only
one explanation, isn't there?
One of you, in this room...
in this sacred fort...
is a rat!
Oh, yeah! Yeah, yeah,
yeah. One of you is.
- Can you just tell me who it is?
- No.
Millie!
So, which one of you is the rat?
Tina, this is
your last Halloween ever.
You ratted us out to Millie
so we'd never have to leave,
didn't you?
What? I-I want to get out
more than anyone.
My childhood is slipping
through my candy-less fingers.
Maybe Gene's the rat.
Oh, please, let's just calm down
and take a spray paint nap.
Darryl, why are you wearing
your backpack?
Um...
Why are you wearing
your backpack, Darryl?
Answer the question.
I just want to make sure
I don't lose it.
Oh, really?
You don't want to lose it?
Because you think
you're getting out of here?
I am!
Millie, let me out of here!
I did my part,
you do yours!
She's not letting
you out, Darryl.
You fool! Why would you do this?
I'm weak, Louise.
I'm weak.
"Dear Millie, I need candy.
"Also I will need to poo soon.
Please let me out."
"Dear Darryl,
"Help me help you poo.
"Be my man on the inside.
Love, Millie."
I couldn't let
the Treasure Trail go to waste!
If you hadn't told her
about our escape plan,
we could have used
our plan to escape!
Oh, that's so obvious now,
isn't it?
I'm sorry it's hard for me to
think when my pants are off.
I just want candy!
All right, all right.
It's okay, Darryl.
You didn't know
what you were doing.
Huh, buddy?
No.
My pants are off.
Yeah.
So, what do we do with a snitch?
You did the crime,
now you do the time.
Andy and Ollie...
Burp 'n Blow.
Poor bastard.
That smells nice.
You guys eat sherbet?
Cucumber soap.
I ate a flower.
This is the one day
you don't eat
peanut butter
and tuna for lunch?
You ruined Burp n' Blow torture!
It's pretty bad.
It's not. It's fun.
It's festive.
- No.
- It looks like it's from China.
No, China would be furious
about this dragon.
They love dragons there.
Hey, where are the kids?
They should've been home by now.
Oh, my God, they're lost!
Not on Halloween!
Lin, easy.
They're dead.
- No, they're not dead.
- They're dead.
No, I know it, they're dead.
No, I bet they're
in that fort they built.
21Oh, yeah.
Ugh, that fort.
Well, it is pretty cool
once you get inside.
What do you mean inside?
They let you in?
- I thought we weren't allowed.
- I wasn't supposed to say anything.
But it's great.
Why can't I go in?
I-I don't know, I...
And there's a ton
of rules they have,
so... I guess...
that was one of them.
Right, right,
right, whatever.
We're gonna go to that
fort and we're getting
those little should-be
trick-or-treaters
and we're shoving them
inside this thing.
Hey, you guys, I was
just trick-or-treating!
Mmm, this candy's so good.
Oops, I dropped some.
Good thing there's more
where that came from.
You monster!
You can't do this to us!
- Uh, it's just down here.
- Yeah, I know where it is,
Mr. I've Been In The Fort
Before And You Haven't.
That's right, I have.
They were inside my
fort for a long time.
That's the original fort.
Bob and Linda.
Uh...?
Huh.
Millie Frock.
Louise's friend?
Hey, you know,
I just ran into
Louise and Gene and Tina
trick-or-treating.
- What?
- They're trick-or-treating without their costume?
We've been slaving
away all day!
Where? Where are they?
I don't know the name of the
street, 'cause I'm a little kid.
But if you follow me,
I can show you.
Skip like this.
I don't want to skip.
I said skip!
Who is this kid?
I like her.
She's fun.
So last year was
my last Halloween
and I didn't even know it.
I wish I could
go back in time
and tell myself
to enjoy it more.
And also, not to go
into this fort.
I wish I could go
back ten seconds ago
before I ate cardboard.
Uh-oh, I'm doing it again.
Hmm.
Wait.
Guys, take a look at this.
What is it, rat?
You see those
buttons on the truck?
Yeah.
We just have to find a way
to hit the "up" button
and boom, the roof is lifted.
And how exactly are we going
to hit the button, huh?
You gonna snitch on it?
No, we use this.
Darryl,,
you're my favorite kind of rat.
A rat with a hanger.
Where'd she go?
Whew, she's a fast skipper.
So where are the kids?
I don't see them anywhere.
I'll tell you
where they are.
Not wearing their costume
on Ungrateful Avenue.
- Jerks.
- We worked so hard on this thing.
I fought the people
at the art supply store.
All that glue in my hair.
- I hate to see it go to waste.
- Yeah.
Trick or treat!
Oh, uh...
what are you supposed to be?
It's a dragon, duh.
It doesn't look like any
dragon I've ever seen before.
Yeah, well,
your doo's spid.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Aren't you a little bit old
to be trick or treating?
You're old.
You're probably 60.
I am 60... Hey!
We gonna get any candy or not?
No!
You have to give it.
Bob?
No.
Is that you?
No. What? Who's...?
Bob. From the burger place.
No. No way. I'm not...
I'd recognize you anywhere.
I'm nine.
That is hilarious.
It's still not me.
It's not me.
That is hilarious.
- Honey, come. It's Bob. From the burger place.
- I can't... We can't stay.
Just stay-stay there
Stay there. Stay there.
- I can't. We actually have to go.
- It's great.
- It's great. It's Bob and Linda.
- Bob, could you...?
- That's not... From the burger place.
- Nah.
Honey, they're pulling some
sort of... I don't know
- it's a prank or...
- Dave, I can't stay, I'm sorry.
Ah, hi...
But good to see you.
Steady...
- steady...
- I can't watch.
Mostly because I can't see.
You hear that? It's working!
Uh...
You hit the wrong button!
Turn it off!
- Turn it off!
- I can't! The hanger's stuck!
Aah!
We're all gonna die!
Every meal I've ever eaten
is flashing before my eyes!
Oh, my god, my last
meal was cardboard.
This is not good
for my claustrophobia!
Wait, there's garbage.
We could use it,
we could stack it.
Yes! Stack the strong stuff.
Maybe we can stop this
thing from crushing us.
Ollie, Andy, get in there!
It's working!
Isn't it?
Yes!
The door! It's open!
- Crawl to freedom!
- Crawl to Halloween!
Crawl to candy!
My shoe!
Now our shoes will be together!
Whoa!
We did it!
We're alive!
Whew, we've still got a few
minutes left on the candy clock.
What about our costume?
Screw the costume.
There's no time!
We only got a few minutes
left on the candy clock!
Did you not hear me?
But nobody will give us candy
if we're not wearing one.
Congratulations.
You're a robot.
Hold on, candy!
I'm coming for you!
Yeah!
Treasure Trail...
lead us to treasure.
Oh, come on!
No! No!
Turn them on!
Turn them on!
We're still here!
Don't you go off on me!
Aha! There you are.
You think you're too
good for your costume?
For us?
Costume?
What am I even looking at?
Godzilla's ding-dong?
It's a dragon, Gene.
It's not a dragon.
Yes, it is.
You asked to us to make
you a dragon, we did.
Wh-what are you?
Bean can head?
Yeah.
No.
Robot bean can head to you.
Oh.
Well, I bet we got more candy
than you did, so neh.
Wait, where is your candy?
- Long story.
- Actually, I could tell it pretty fast.
Well, at least
we can have some of yours.
Nah-uh, bean heads.
We get the candy.
Yum, yum, yum, yum.
No, we get the candy!
It's ours!
We're eating it all right now.
- Never!
- I want your candy! No!
Get them!
Get out of our dragon!
I thought I was done
with Halloween.
But it turns out,
Halloween's not done with me.
Aah!
Get out of our dragon!
Okay, Halloween's over.
I'm gonna eat more candy
in front of you guys.
But you can eat the mini boxes
of raisins I didn't want.
You'll need your strength
to make it through the ni...
Oh, my God, I killed them!
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
People are gonna be
so mad at me.
I'm gonna have
to find a therapist.
Oh, geez,
I hope I like my therapist.
You definitely won't.
Who said that?
The ghosts of us!
This is Gene's ghost! Aah!
We don't appreciate
being killed!
Boo. This is Tina's ghost.
Oh, no.
Oh, I didn't mean to kill you.
I was just gonna keep you
in there until you got old.
Give us your candy, you nutcase.
All of it? Or-or do you
just want some of it?
Or do you want to trade?
All of it!
Here, take it!
Happy Halloween.
Thanks for killing us.
Heaven's nice.