Bloods (2021–…): Season 2, Episode 4 - Episode #2.4 - full transcript
You have one tiny job, Spencer.
Restock the ambulances.
Gary is not your
bloody assistant.
Oh, no, no.
My main character energy is
feeling very attacked right now.
Oh, you'll know when
I'm attacking you, son.
I am a size eight,
steel-cap boot
for rearranging
your vital organs.
I'd rather deep fry my tits
than have this useless
bastard in the depot.
Take him on a ride along,
part of his training.
What do you mean,
ride along training?
That's not even a real thing.
Get him out of the depot
before I punch him
directly in the throat.
That does sound
like a real thing.
I'm the only one
who signs you off.
Bang, bang!
Fuck!?
Loz, I'm on a call.
Perhaps I should've
used a silencer.
Makes no difference, I've
got hearing like an owl.
Parents evening with
June and the kid tonight.
Yeah, I might wear a tie.
Okay.
With windmills on it.
Let me guess you think that's
a big fat red flag, yeah?
Er, I think all ties are
a big fat red flag, Loz.
I meant the parents evening.
Err, no, sounds
like you're in deep.
Good.
Too deep, yeah?
Get your arm bands
on, you tuna melt.
Loz is drowning in commitment.
Happy for you and,
what's her name, June.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Weird.
You said, when she
got me that watch,
you said she was handcuffing
me into the afterlife.
Just banter, mate.
Parents evening.
What's next, Loz?
You're gonna get the kid's
name tattooed on your forehead?
Okay, that impression of me,
drop it before I drop you.
Fair enough.
Oi!
Bell-end of the year.
You've been signing
off my staff.
You know, I had a
dream last night
that we had a
normal conversation.
Hi, how are you sort stuff.
It was so nice.
But, yes, yes.
Those members of
staff I signed off
were completely burnt out.
Yeah?
That's how I feel after every
conversation with you, George.
Do you need me to
sign you off as well?
I know you can't relate,
but my staff have
an important job
and you cannot be signing
them off willy nilly
because they have a headache.
But I can sign them off.
And I will, if I have to, Jo.
Have a lovely day.
Can I drive the ambulance?
You don't have a licence, babe.
You failed your test, remember?
Yeah, and we all
know why that is.
Because I feel anxious
when I'm being judged.
Well with respect, duck,
he was the examiner.
Four five one papa kilo.
Cat two, welfare check.
Copy that.
Ah, ahh, no!
No, sorry, can we not.
- That's so annoying.
- Oi!
Never ever touch
my sirens again.
Yeah, certain men
have died for less.
- Ah, ahh, no!
No, I hate it, sorry.
Spencer, keep ramping with me.
I'll just ban you
from South forever.
How about, to keep the peace
between my two favourite
mandems, we have them off?
We skip through the traffic
with the lights alone?
Wendy, I know how to
make noodles in a kettle.
I'm not scared to go prison
for deading your son.
- Oh!
Okay.
- That's nice, that's good.
- Yeah.
Sorry to hear about
your bracelet.
I've lost things.
Yeah, we made them.
They keep us together.
And what was it that you lost?
Maybe we could help you look.
Karen, my wife.
But at least you never
have to say goodbye
to lost things twice.
Remember that.
- I know where she is.
- She's in the cemetery.
Give me that.
A word of advice.
How about you actually
thank the people
that peeled him off the
pavement and saved his life.
I'll drink that
patient's bed pen
before I thank you for doing
what you're paid to do.
I'll choke Merry
Seacole the fuck out.
Keep me out of this.
There are only two things
I'm scared of in this world.
Nurses and, no,
actually just nurses.
Gary, my dead Nan has more
testosterone than you.
Whoa.
Luxury coffee, those
little jelly beans.
No one gives paramedics
diddly squat.
Oh no, Gary.
Yes, Gary.
Put them back.
All right, Gollum, chill.
Nurses are like one step
up from GP receptionist.
They do not deserve all this.
Kareshma, you cannot say
nurses don't deserve all this.
Oh, we don't deserve
gifts, do we?
God, no!
You're gonna need God
after I finish with you.
You pick the right day
to meet the wrong nurse.
Couldn't you be the right
nurse on the right day?
Fine, you picked the right
nurse on the wrong day for you.
A stormy Tuesday.
Look, there's been some
terrible misunderstanding,
um, Bev.
I'm sick of paramedics like you.
Thinking they're better than us.
Don't forget, you lot are
basically just delivery drivers.
That's a bit steep,
don't you think?
Look, I'm gonna get my tea
and get out of your hair.
I think not.
Us nurses, we connect
with our patients.
That's why we get gifts.
You barely even know if
they're male or female.
Objection!
That is a big fat lie.
Oh, is that right?
Don't fuck with me.
I can smell your fear.
And you're being seconds away
from pissing your
tight little y-fronts.
I'm wearing a hybrid
pant, actually.
The length of a boxer,
the support of a y-front.
Fight back, Gary, you got this.
Yeah.
I'm gonna say two
rude words now.
One beginning with S,
the other ending in T.
Is this foreplay?
'Cause if so, I'm
dry as a Ryvita.
If you don't mind, I'm
going to the bathroom.
Oh, Jo.
Jo, someone's made an
anonymous complaint against me.
- Against you?
- M-hm.
Oh.
Shall I put the kettle on?
Maybe one of your rank teas'll
make everything better.
Apparently I'm offering
happy endings to my
clients after sessions.
Don't you have like
five sessions a day?
That's a lot of
elbow grease, George.
I don't do happy endings, Jo.
I see you every single day.
You've never offered me one.
I'm feeling a bit left out.
Did you know they record
these complaint calls?
Which means I'll
be able to find out
who made these
anonymous allegations.
Oh yeah?
The high ups, oh, they
think that a person
must have to be in
a pretty dark place
to make a prank
complaint like that.
Mm...
Disagree.
Sounds like a legend.
Any idea who it might be, Jo?
Your mum?
Okay.
Found his burner in his pocket.
Enough coke to take down
the Wolf of Wall Street.
What's this bent yute doing?
You're here to help us.
I'm helping the collective
us, Maleek, okay.
The dealer's a person of colour
and you know better
than anyone else
how the police treats them.
Oh, please.
It's not like he's the
police's target audience.
You know they prefer a
much more darker hue.
What are you saying?
I'm not an ethnic minority?
No, my brother, you're a G.
I'm just saying that it's.
In the minority Olympics, are
you top of the middle table?
Disgusting.
You really can't talk
outside of your lived
experience, Maleek.
And that's coming from me.
A cis, pan, leisure
and tourism grad.
Look, I'm just saying,
in the police eyes,
yeah, I'm more of
a bruda brother.
And you are more of
a, you're a bruh.
Na, I'm sorry, I'm not
gonna accept that either.
The Met has done a closed
internal investigation
and we have come to the
conclusion that we are not racist.
Oh, well I guess that
solves everything then.
Right, enough.
Spencer, go and get the
oxygen and the gurney please.
Not now, Mum.
I'm busy using my white
privilege for good.
You should try it sometime.
I'd have never spoke
to my dad like that.
Maleek, I'm a builder
parent, not a breaker parent.
Well you need to break your
kids before other people do.
Spare the rod, you
spoil the child.
Watch.
Spencer, go and get oxygen now!
Told you.
That wouldn't have happened
if I had my bloody
friendship bracelet.
Bro, you need to let it go.
You're almost mowed
down a pensioner.
At least then I'd
feel something.
I'm numb.
It's just a bracelet.
Why don't you shut
your god damn mouth
before I drive this
ambulance through Taco Bell.
When I go back to Australia,
how am I gonna feel
connected to you without it?
Nothing can break
our connection.
You know, I'm getting
rid of this bracelet.
- I'm taking it off.
- How dare you?
What are you doing?
No bracelet, no friendship.
No friendship, no
lifelong memories
lulling me as I go to sleep.
That's when the fire
takes over, the brimstone,
the demons emerge
and enter my mind.
I go crazy.
They locked me up.
I escape.
I start selling illegal
DVDs down by the docks.
They try to arrest me.
I end up killing two
policemen, good guys!
They're family men!
I'll keep the bracelet.
Oh!
My arm.
Oh, come on, treat him
like a person first.
Right, let's go.
Spencer, do you want to play
the wait in the van game
whilst we get our bags?
Are you absolutely
bonkers and also mental?
I'm not waiting in there
with a drug dealer.
One time at a festival
I bought weed.
Okay, they gave me
a full bag of thyme,
I vaped the whole thing,
and I'm not being
dramatic, I nearly died.
Oh, he's a person
first, remember.
Spencer, the winner of
the waiting the van game
gets a new iPad case.
See?
Creative parenting
really does work.
And, while we are waiting for
our escort to the hospital,
I want an apology.
Accusing me and my
colleagues of being racist.
Yeah, I want an apology from you
and your colleagues for being racist.
Check mates.
Defund the police!
He'd be running faster if
he was a bruda brother.
Us paramedics, we
don't ask for much.
We get paid even less.
We're out here peeling
bodies off the pavement.
We literally put our lives
on the line, day in, day out.
We're the unsung
heroes of the NHS.
And what do we ask for?
A cuppa and a bickie
at the end of each job.
- Yeah.
- But what do we get?
- Well, we get our six weeks-
- It was rhetoric question.
- Don't ruin my flow.
- Sorry.
We get a punch in
the face, Gary.
- We do, yes.
- Spat at.
I have been many
times all the time.
Abused!
- All the time.
- Well not today!
- No, no.
- No more, Satan.
We rise.
Yes, we rise.
You need to stand
to that nurse, Gary,
and you need to do it soon!
What the fuck is he...
Look at the son of Lucifer.
This is why I told
you to give him licks.
To be honest,
it's the closest I've ever
been to licking is bottom.
What?
A lick means slap, no?
Yeah, but, Wendy, the
way you just said it,
it sounded a little bit
mogudu, I'm not gonna lie.
Spencer, I don't think you
realise how serious this.
If this guy doesn't get
the treatment he needs,
he could lose his arm.
Exactly, he won't be able
to play PlayStation again.
That's a death sentence.
Do you know, I'm
surprised at you, Maleek.
I thought you
would've understood.
Why is that?
Well, I presumed, as a bruda,
you would've been pro
the liberation of a POC
by the corrupt arms of the law.
Yo, he was a drug dealer who,
high on his own supply,
crashed the car.
He's lucky he
didn't kill anyone.
All you needed to do
was watch him, you fool.
I did watch him.
And after getting to know
him, I was able to look past
the label that society had
put on his head as dealer.
Spencer, I am really struggling
to deal with you right now.
Oh, dry your white
woman tears, Mum.
I don't regret anything.
I guess, for you, Maleek, not
all skin folk are kin folk.
Bruv, he was flippin' Asian!
And here we go with
the Asian hate.
Do y'know,
your voice is starting to sound
like those sirens, ne-naw!
No thank you.
Hey, Wendy, I'm sorry, but
I gotta fuck up your son.
- Oh!
Yeah, ne-naw, ne-now!
I'm gonna beat you
like your mum didn't.
Yeah, come on then, big boy.
What's he doing?
Yeah, bitch.
Come on.
You need to get your son.
- Ah!
You fucking scratched my
eye, you little prick!
Scratch time, baby!
How'd you like that, bitch?
Oh!
Your mama.
So which one you want to
keep, the left or the right?
I'm sorry?
Testicle.
'Cause I'm now about to
rip one out with my teeth
and shove it down
your partner's throat.
I'm vegetarian.
Gary, let's just
make your tea and go.
No.
You can't rush a brew.
And you've taught me that
you can't rush freedom.
Nobody touch me kettle.
You think you're gonna
get the last laugh?
Well, think again Missy,
because I will not surrender.
Oh, delicious.
Milk!
Kareshma, get milk!
Ow, man!
I swear that youth's got
the fingernails of a pimp.
He's had them since he was born.
It was like breastfeeding
Edward Scissorhands.
If you saw the state of my boobs
you'd think I was a self harmer?
Oh, please.
Gonna need hypnosis from George
to get that dirty
image out my head.
Oh, I'm so sorry, Maleek.
He man handled you.
I couldn't watch.
Threw you around
like a rag doll.
Are you tapped?
Brother boxed your youth
left, right, up, down,
all the way across
the Irish Sea, fam.
- Now your lips bleeding.
- Ah!
Well at least you can agree
that you need to
be tough on him.
You gotta tell him
that his behaviour was
completely unacceptable.
Also, you'd better tell him
that if I catch him in South
he's leaving in an
air ambulance, bruv.
I'm gonna think of something
that's gonna really
teach him a lesson.
Something even your dead dad
up in heaven'd be hollering,
"Go, Wendy, go,
Wendy, go, Wendy."
Yo!
Don't put words in my
dead dad's mouth ever.
Excuse me.
Gather round, please, bell ends.
Ah, okay.
I have received an
anonymous tip off,
which led me to
investigate a locker.
To my shock and
disappointment, and total joy,
I have discovered
a bag of sniff.
Spencer.
It was your looker.
Drug dealer.
Alongside this ugly bracelet.
I think I'm gonna come.
Jo, I swear on my Twitter
account it's not my drugs.
Never had you down as
a coke head, Spencer,
more of a glue sniffer,
so I'm actually impressed.
Does that mean I'm not fired?
Double check it's not thyme.
You have got five minutes
to get out of my depot
before I call the filth.
Mum, we can fight this.
Remortgage the house,
sell all your belongings,
assemble a legal team, please.
We all make mistakes, darling.
But I didn't!
You don't need to lie to me.
I've already forgiven you.
Spencer, this is
so, so sad for me.
Well take this moment,
go back to Nottingham,
and find out what you
really want in life.
You're right.
You're right.
Wowser.
Oh, sorry, I actually,
I need the keys to the
flat now I think about it.
There you go, go on.
Oh, and my official
Apple charger.
If I get too far from it,
my throat starts to itch.
- Can anyone give me a lift?
- Fuck off.
Oh, before you go,
I got the recording
of those complaints.
You might recognise the voice.
I was
just telling her
about my dead mum
and then she offered
me a happy ending.
It's terrible, isn't it?
- She just would not stop
thrashing me in my session.
I just wanted to talk.
Now I'm scarred.
I anonymously withdrew
those anonymous complaints.
Oh, why, Jo?
I was having such fun guessing.
It was between you and Gary
and Gary was edging it.
Stop signing off my staff
and I will stop implying
you're a sex pest.
Easy peasy.
Just because you
don't understand
doesn't mean it isn't so.
Take on just some of my methods
and I can stop
signing people off.
I've got a better idea.
You get the hell outta my depot.
I'd understand that.
Three five
eight lima charlie,
PRU driver Lawrence Kerr has
had a road traffic accident.
He's on blues to
South Field A&E.
Lozer, shit!
Ow, oh!
What you doing.
Loz!
Shit!
I thought you were fucking dead!
I'm just slightly winded
and a possible cracked
rib now, thank you.
Loz, what are you doing
playing silly boards
under the covers.
Just trying to get some kip.
The curtains here are
practically transparent.
What?
Which is why at home I've
invested in Gothic shutters.
A hundred percent blackout
made from rare Lithuanian pine.
- Oh, Loz.
What?
Why are you laughing?
You gave me a proper
fright, you knobhead.
Just twisted my ankle.
I fell off my bike.
A few minor bruises,
but they gave me some
very nice painkillers.
The doctor said I was the
luckiest man in Lewisham.
Which is a possible
contradiction in terms.
So what's June doing
out there ugly crying?
Shall I tell her to go
and pull herself together?
Oh, we just parted ways
on the river of destiny.
Oh, mate.
Having a proper stinker, huh?
Well, it wasn't my decision.
Oh yeah?
Well what happened, Loz?
Well, I mean, we had moments
of happiness together.
Well not many.
But when we were together
I just wished I was alone.
Oh course, course, Loz,
don't want that albatross
round your neck, do you?
Yeah.
New beginnings.
Yeah.
The harvest is coming.
Yeah.
We'll blame that on all the
morphine you're on, hey?
- Yeah.
Well, I don't wanna keep you
if you've got some
important you need to...
No, Loz!
Always got time for
you, you dingbat.
Budge up.
- Ow!
- Oh, bad leg?
You hungry?
Um...
Got chicken fingers.
I'm sorry to hear that.
Hey?
They don't look that bad.
You got me, Loz.
Restock the ambulances.
Gary is not your
bloody assistant.
Oh, no, no.
My main character energy is
feeling very attacked right now.
Oh, you'll know when
I'm attacking you, son.
I am a size eight,
steel-cap boot
for rearranging
your vital organs.
I'd rather deep fry my tits
than have this useless
bastard in the depot.
Take him on a ride along,
part of his training.
What do you mean,
ride along training?
That's not even a real thing.
Get him out of the depot
before I punch him
directly in the throat.
That does sound
like a real thing.
I'm the only one
who signs you off.
Bang, bang!
Fuck!?
Loz, I'm on a call.
Perhaps I should've
used a silencer.
Makes no difference, I've
got hearing like an owl.
Parents evening with
June and the kid tonight.
Yeah, I might wear a tie.
Okay.
With windmills on it.
Let me guess you think that's
a big fat red flag, yeah?
Er, I think all ties are
a big fat red flag, Loz.
I meant the parents evening.
Err, no, sounds
like you're in deep.
Good.
Too deep, yeah?
Get your arm bands
on, you tuna melt.
Loz is drowning in commitment.
Happy for you and,
what's her name, June.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Weird.
You said, when she
got me that watch,
you said she was handcuffing
me into the afterlife.
Just banter, mate.
Parents evening.
What's next, Loz?
You're gonna get the kid's
name tattooed on your forehead?
Okay, that impression of me,
drop it before I drop you.
Fair enough.
Oi!
Bell-end of the year.
You've been signing
off my staff.
You know, I had a
dream last night
that we had a
normal conversation.
Hi, how are you sort stuff.
It was so nice.
But, yes, yes.
Those members of
staff I signed off
were completely burnt out.
Yeah?
That's how I feel after every
conversation with you, George.
Do you need me to
sign you off as well?
I know you can't relate,
but my staff have
an important job
and you cannot be signing
them off willy nilly
because they have a headache.
But I can sign them off.
And I will, if I have to, Jo.
Have a lovely day.
Can I drive the ambulance?
You don't have a licence, babe.
You failed your test, remember?
Yeah, and we all
know why that is.
Because I feel anxious
when I'm being judged.
Well with respect, duck,
he was the examiner.
Four five one papa kilo.
Cat two, welfare check.
Copy that.
Ah, ahh, no!
No, sorry, can we not.
- That's so annoying.
- Oi!
Never ever touch
my sirens again.
Yeah, certain men
have died for less.
- Ah, ahh, no!
No, I hate it, sorry.
Spencer, keep ramping with me.
I'll just ban you
from South forever.
How about, to keep the peace
between my two favourite
mandems, we have them off?
We skip through the traffic
with the lights alone?
Wendy, I know how to
make noodles in a kettle.
I'm not scared to go prison
for deading your son.
- Oh!
Okay.
- That's nice, that's good.
- Yeah.
Sorry to hear about
your bracelet.
I've lost things.
Yeah, we made them.
They keep us together.
And what was it that you lost?
Maybe we could help you look.
Karen, my wife.
But at least you never
have to say goodbye
to lost things twice.
Remember that.
- I know where she is.
- She's in the cemetery.
Give me that.
A word of advice.
How about you actually
thank the people
that peeled him off the
pavement and saved his life.
I'll drink that
patient's bed pen
before I thank you for doing
what you're paid to do.
I'll choke Merry
Seacole the fuck out.
Keep me out of this.
There are only two things
I'm scared of in this world.
Nurses and, no,
actually just nurses.
Gary, my dead Nan has more
testosterone than you.
Whoa.
Luxury coffee, those
little jelly beans.
No one gives paramedics
diddly squat.
Oh no, Gary.
Yes, Gary.
Put them back.
All right, Gollum, chill.
Nurses are like one step
up from GP receptionist.
They do not deserve all this.
Kareshma, you cannot say
nurses don't deserve all this.
Oh, we don't deserve
gifts, do we?
God, no!
You're gonna need God
after I finish with you.
You pick the right day
to meet the wrong nurse.
Couldn't you be the right
nurse on the right day?
Fine, you picked the right
nurse on the wrong day for you.
A stormy Tuesday.
Look, there's been some
terrible misunderstanding,
um, Bev.
I'm sick of paramedics like you.
Thinking they're better than us.
Don't forget, you lot are
basically just delivery drivers.
That's a bit steep,
don't you think?
Look, I'm gonna get my tea
and get out of your hair.
I think not.
Us nurses, we connect
with our patients.
That's why we get gifts.
You barely even know if
they're male or female.
Objection!
That is a big fat lie.
Oh, is that right?
Don't fuck with me.
I can smell your fear.
And you're being seconds away
from pissing your
tight little y-fronts.
I'm wearing a hybrid
pant, actually.
The length of a boxer,
the support of a y-front.
Fight back, Gary, you got this.
Yeah.
I'm gonna say two
rude words now.
One beginning with S,
the other ending in T.
Is this foreplay?
'Cause if so, I'm
dry as a Ryvita.
If you don't mind, I'm
going to the bathroom.
Oh, Jo.
Jo, someone's made an
anonymous complaint against me.
- Against you?
- M-hm.
Oh.
Shall I put the kettle on?
Maybe one of your rank teas'll
make everything better.
Apparently I'm offering
happy endings to my
clients after sessions.
Don't you have like
five sessions a day?
That's a lot of
elbow grease, George.
I don't do happy endings, Jo.
I see you every single day.
You've never offered me one.
I'm feeling a bit left out.
Did you know they record
these complaint calls?
Which means I'll
be able to find out
who made these
anonymous allegations.
Oh yeah?
The high ups, oh, they
think that a person
must have to be in
a pretty dark place
to make a prank
complaint like that.
Mm...
Disagree.
Sounds like a legend.
Any idea who it might be, Jo?
Your mum?
Okay.
Found his burner in his pocket.
Enough coke to take down
the Wolf of Wall Street.
What's this bent yute doing?
You're here to help us.
I'm helping the collective
us, Maleek, okay.
The dealer's a person of colour
and you know better
than anyone else
how the police treats them.
Oh, please.
It's not like he's the
police's target audience.
You know they prefer a
much more darker hue.
What are you saying?
I'm not an ethnic minority?
No, my brother, you're a G.
I'm just saying that it's.
In the minority Olympics, are
you top of the middle table?
Disgusting.
You really can't talk
outside of your lived
experience, Maleek.
And that's coming from me.
A cis, pan, leisure
and tourism grad.
Look, I'm just saying,
in the police eyes,
yeah, I'm more of
a bruda brother.
And you are more of
a, you're a bruh.
Na, I'm sorry, I'm not
gonna accept that either.
The Met has done a closed
internal investigation
and we have come to the
conclusion that we are not racist.
Oh, well I guess that
solves everything then.
Right, enough.
Spencer, go and get the
oxygen and the gurney please.
Not now, Mum.
I'm busy using my white
privilege for good.
You should try it sometime.
I'd have never spoke
to my dad like that.
Maleek, I'm a builder
parent, not a breaker parent.
Well you need to break your
kids before other people do.
Spare the rod, you
spoil the child.
Watch.
Spencer, go and get oxygen now!
Told you.
That wouldn't have happened
if I had my bloody
friendship bracelet.
Bro, you need to let it go.
You're almost mowed
down a pensioner.
At least then I'd
feel something.
I'm numb.
It's just a bracelet.
Why don't you shut
your god damn mouth
before I drive this
ambulance through Taco Bell.
When I go back to Australia,
how am I gonna feel
connected to you without it?
Nothing can break
our connection.
You know, I'm getting
rid of this bracelet.
- I'm taking it off.
- How dare you?
What are you doing?
No bracelet, no friendship.
No friendship, no
lifelong memories
lulling me as I go to sleep.
That's when the fire
takes over, the brimstone,
the demons emerge
and enter my mind.
I go crazy.
They locked me up.
I escape.
I start selling illegal
DVDs down by the docks.
They try to arrest me.
I end up killing two
policemen, good guys!
They're family men!
I'll keep the bracelet.
Oh!
My arm.
Oh, come on, treat him
like a person first.
Right, let's go.
Spencer, do you want to play
the wait in the van game
whilst we get our bags?
Are you absolutely
bonkers and also mental?
I'm not waiting in there
with a drug dealer.
One time at a festival
I bought weed.
Okay, they gave me
a full bag of thyme,
I vaped the whole thing,
and I'm not being
dramatic, I nearly died.
Oh, he's a person
first, remember.
Spencer, the winner of
the waiting the van game
gets a new iPad case.
See?
Creative parenting
really does work.
And, while we are waiting for
our escort to the hospital,
I want an apology.
Accusing me and my
colleagues of being racist.
Yeah, I want an apology from you
and your colleagues for being racist.
Check mates.
Defund the police!
He'd be running faster if
he was a bruda brother.
Us paramedics, we
don't ask for much.
We get paid even less.
We're out here peeling
bodies off the pavement.
We literally put our lives
on the line, day in, day out.
We're the unsung
heroes of the NHS.
And what do we ask for?
A cuppa and a bickie
at the end of each job.
- Yeah.
- But what do we get?
- Well, we get our six weeks-
- It was rhetoric question.
- Don't ruin my flow.
- Sorry.
We get a punch in
the face, Gary.
- We do, yes.
- Spat at.
I have been many
times all the time.
Abused!
- All the time.
- Well not today!
- No, no.
- No more, Satan.
We rise.
Yes, we rise.
You need to stand
to that nurse, Gary,
and you need to do it soon!
What the fuck is he...
Look at the son of Lucifer.
This is why I told
you to give him licks.
To be honest,
it's the closest I've ever
been to licking is bottom.
What?
A lick means slap, no?
Yeah, but, Wendy, the
way you just said it,
it sounded a little bit
mogudu, I'm not gonna lie.
Spencer, I don't think you
realise how serious this.
If this guy doesn't get
the treatment he needs,
he could lose his arm.
Exactly, he won't be able
to play PlayStation again.
That's a death sentence.
Do you know, I'm
surprised at you, Maleek.
I thought you
would've understood.
Why is that?
Well, I presumed, as a bruda,
you would've been pro
the liberation of a POC
by the corrupt arms of the law.
Yo, he was a drug dealer who,
high on his own supply,
crashed the car.
He's lucky he
didn't kill anyone.
All you needed to do
was watch him, you fool.
I did watch him.
And after getting to know
him, I was able to look past
the label that society had
put on his head as dealer.
Spencer, I am really struggling
to deal with you right now.
Oh, dry your white
woman tears, Mum.
I don't regret anything.
I guess, for you, Maleek, not
all skin folk are kin folk.
Bruv, he was flippin' Asian!
And here we go with
the Asian hate.
Do y'know,
your voice is starting to sound
like those sirens, ne-naw!
No thank you.
Hey, Wendy, I'm sorry, but
I gotta fuck up your son.
- Oh!
Yeah, ne-naw, ne-now!
I'm gonna beat you
like your mum didn't.
Yeah, come on then, big boy.
What's he doing?
Yeah, bitch.
Come on.
You need to get your son.
- Ah!
You fucking scratched my
eye, you little prick!
Scratch time, baby!
How'd you like that, bitch?
Oh!
Your mama.
So which one you want to
keep, the left or the right?
I'm sorry?
Testicle.
'Cause I'm now about to
rip one out with my teeth
and shove it down
your partner's throat.
I'm vegetarian.
Gary, let's just
make your tea and go.
No.
You can't rush a brew.
And you've taught me that
you can't rush freedom.
Nobody touch me kettle.
You think you're gonna
get the last laugh?
Well, think again Missy,
because I will not surrender.
Oh, delicious.
Milk!
Kareshma, get milk!
Ow, man!
I swear that youth's got
the fingernails of a pimp.
He's had them since he was born.
It was like breastfeeding
Edward Scissorhands.
If you saw the state of my boobs
you'd think I was a self harmer?
Oh, please.
Gonna need hypnosis from George
to get that dirty
image out my head.
Oh, I'm so sorry, Maleek.
He man handled you.
I couldn't watch.
Threw you around
like a rag doll.
Are you tapped?
Brother boxed your youth
left, right, up, down,
all the way across
the Irish Sea, fam.
- Now your lips bleeding.
- Ah!
Well at least you can agree
that you need to
be tough on him.
You gotta tell him
that his behaviour was
completely unacceptable.
Also, you'd better tell him
that if I catch him in South
he's leaving in an
air ambulance, bruv.
I'm gonna think of something
that's gonna really
teach him a lesson.
Something even your dead dad
up in heaven'd be hollering,
"Go, Wendy, go,
Wendy, go, Wendy."
Yo!
Don't put words in my
dead dad's mouth ever.
Excuse me.
Gather round, please, bell ends.
Ah, okay.
I have received an
anonymous tip off,
which led me to
investigate a locker.
To my shock and
disappointment, and total joy,
I have discovered
a bag of sniff.
Spencer.
It was your looker.
Drug dealer.
Alongside this ugly bracelet.
I think I'm gonna come.
Jo, I swear on my Twitter
account it's not my drugs.
Never had you down as
a coke head, Spencer,
more of a glue sniffer,
so I'm actually impressed.
Does that mean I'm not fired?
Double check it's not thyme.
You have got five minutes
to get out of my depot
before I call the filth.
Mum, we can fight this.
Remortgage the house,
sell all your belongings,
assemble a legal team, please.
We all make mistakes, darling.
But I didn't!
You don't need to lie to me.
I've already forgiven you.
Spencer, this is
so, so sad for me.
Well take this moment,
go back to Nottingham,
and find out what you
really want in life.
You're right.
You're right.
Wowser.
Oh, sorry, I actually,
I need the keys to the
flat now I think about it.
There you go, go on.
Oh, and my official
Apple charger.
If I get too far from it,
my throat starts to itch.
- Can anyone give me a lift?
- Fuck off.
Oh, before you go,
I got the recording
of those complaints.
You might recognise the voice.
I was
just telling her
about my dead mum
and then she offered
me a happy ending.
It's terrible, isn't it?
- She just would not stop
thrashing me in my session.
I just wanted to talk.
Now I'm scarred.
I anonymously withdrew
those anonymous complaints.
Oh, why, Jo?
I was having such fun guessing.
It was between you and Gary
and Gary was edging it.
Stop signing off my staff
and I will stop implying
you're a sex pest.
Easy peasy.
Just because you
don't understand
doesn't mean it isn't so.
Take on just some of my methods
and I can stop
signing people off.
I've got a better idea.
You get the hell outta my depot.
I'd understand that.
Three five
eight lima charlie,
PRU driver Lawrence Kerr has
had a road traffic accident.
He's on blues to
South Field A&E.
Lozer, shit!
Ow, oh!
What you doing.
Loz!
Shit!
I thought you were fucking dead!
I'm just slightly winded
and a possible cracked
rib now, thank you.
Loz, what are you doing
playing silly boards
under the covers.
Just trying to get some kip.
The curtains here are
practically transparent.
What?
Which is why at home I've
invested in Gothic shutters.
A hundred percent blackout
made from rare Lithuanian pine.
- Oh, Loz.
What?
Why are you laughing?
You gave me a proper
fright, you knobhead.
Just twisted my ankle.
I fell off my bike.
A few minor bruises,
but they gave me some
very nice painkillers.
The doctor said I was the
luckiest man in Lewisham.
Which is a possible
contradiction in terms.
So what's June doing
out there ugly crying?
Shall I tell her to go
and pull herself together?
Oh, we just parted ways
on the river of destiny.
Oh, mate.
Having a proper stinker, huh?
Well, it wasn't my decision.
Oh yeah?
Well what happened, Loz?
Well, I mean, we had moments
of happiness together.
Well not many.
But when we were together
I just wished I was alone.
Oh course, course, Loz,
don't want that albatross
round your neck, do you?
Yeah.
New beginnings.
Yeah.
The harvest is coming.
Yeah.
We'll blame that on all the
morphine you're on, hey?
- Yeah.
Well, I don't wanna keep you
if you've got some
important you need to...
No, Loz!
Always got time for
you, you dingbat.
Budge up.
- Ow!
- Oh, bad leg?
You hungry?
Um...
Got chicken fingers.
I'm sorry to hear that.
Hey?
They don't look that bad.
You got me, Loz.