Bless This Mess (2019–…): Season 2, Episode 10 - Bad Seed - full transcript

Oh, hey, sir. Down in the dumps?

Try taking a mental dump.
Try therapy with Rio.

Sir? Do you want to take a flier?
No? Okay.

Hey, there, Ray.
Do you hear voices in your head?

How about adding Rio's to the mix?

- Therapy with Rio.
- Nah.

But I did want to talk
to you about your seeds.

Are you gonna place an order or what?

It's such a big decision what to plant,

you know? I don't want to rush it.

As long as you get it
to me by the weekend.



"The weekend." Can you imagine?

Yeah, yeah.

- You're not serious, are you?
- Yeah.

No, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no. The weekend?

Clara, with a voice as quiet as yours,

you must be masking something,
am I right?

So, don't you want to talk
to a professional about it?

Don't your words ruin
lives and marriages?

Do you... Is that what people say?

Kay went to you for therapy,
and then she left her husband.

But I hear they're
seeing each other again,

but it is just a real mess.

Well, it's... Therapy's a journey.

Just seems like everyone
around you is falling apart.



That is an unfair characterization.

Oh, Ray, come on!
You're killing me here!

I can't make that decision
just like that.

- Pick a plant.
- What? No. Come on. He's passionate.

He's gesticulating. So what?

People who live in glass houses

shouldn't tend other people's gardens.

That's not a saying.

I said it. It's a saying. I said it.

Okay.

Why would Ray wait that long
to tell me about the deadline?

I think he wanted to see me squirm.

- Ray's got it in for me.
- Maybe it's for the best,

because then you're forced
to make the decision.

- Aw, man!
- Hey!

No! God! Again?!

If you're gonna be in there,
please at least take

a load of laundry and
put it in the dryer, okay?

- Actually, don't touch anything.
- No, no. Don't put a load anywhere.

I'm so excited for you
guys... Genuinely...

That you guys are connecting, you know?

But you cannot go...

"connecting" all over our house,

in our pantry, on our stairs.

On the ironing board.

The fact that it might
collapse is thrilling.

It's extremely wobbly.

Listen, I need peace and quiet.

Coming in hot, Mike.

I got to get my seed order in.

We've put all of our savings into that,

and we've borrowed a good deal

- of money from some friends.
- We have borrowed an extraordinary

amount of money.
We really have. It's surprising.

That's all gonna be
tied up in the seeds.

Now, "What seed?" you say?
Well, I don't know!

I can't figure that out. Why?

Because every time I
sit down to concentrate,

I hear th...

I can't go through my binders

and make this life-altering decision

while you two hump each other

- in every corner of this house.
- He can't do it.

If you're having a problem with seeds,

- why don't you just talk to Kay?
- Oh, yeah.

I mean, I've forgotten more about seeds

than those dumb binders could ever hold.

All those binders... We may have

stacked those binders up
and made some love on them.

On my binders?! On my research?!

- Listen, babe...
- On my research?!

Yeah, I likey that tilt.

- I'm gonna take a lap.
- Just take a lap.

- Always makes you feel better, honey.
- That'll... That should help.

Guys, I just... I gotta suggest

- some couples therapy.
- Oh, why?

Because we're making you
look bad as a therapist

and everyone's talking about it?

No. Not at all. A little bit.

But mostly, I think
that it would be important

for you guys to just have,
like, one session

where you can just talk about
what this new chapter is.

We will not be therapied.

I don't know, Beau.
It... It could be good

to have an outside
perspective on this, right?

See? This is what I'm talking about.

See, you guys are actually not...

connecting here.

You're just connecting...

Okay, fine.

But good luck breaking into this vault.

- Great.
- Calls his brain "Alcatraz."

Shine those blinkers, rookie.

Aye, aye, Captain.

Jacob is shadowing
me for a school project,

and I just got to show him

- that Bucksnort P.D. is no joke.
- Hm.

This may be some sleepy, little town,

but we are one murder away
from there being a murder here.

All done.

Can we go catch some criminals now?

I watch a lot of cop shows, so I know

that the second person we
talk to probably did it.

Being a cop is nothing like TV.

I mean, it took me a lifetime
to perfect my instincts,

but now I always...

I always get my man.

Ain't that right, Rudy?

No. No. I'm not your man.

I mean, I'm not a criminal man.

There's no need to track me down.

Gotta run.

Act normal. Act normal.

Act normal.

Uh, hon...

I-I don't know if I'm gonna be able

to make the deadline with this decision.

I-I think I'm gonna have to
go post up on Main Street

and just ask people what
their thoughts on seed are.

- No, no, no. D-Don't...
- Just, you know,

literally anybody who walks by.

Could you just be a little more,
like, normal and grounded,

just during this time,
at least in public?

Because I'm trying to get
more therapy patients,

and everybody thinks that
I broke up Beau and Kay,

and then they see that
you're kind of, like, stressed...

Okay, you know what?
You're right. You're totally right.

Your therapy business
is incredibly important.

- Thanks.
- And, in fact, if I make

the wrong decision, it might
be the only source

of income that we have, so...

- Sweetie, I love you so much.
- Oh, my God.

This is too stressful to be the only...

Mike. See that energy
that you have right now?

- What's that?
- Can you take that...

energy and sort of lift it up...

- and corral it into the...
- Corral it?

the... the shed?

You can take over that whole shed.

- I'll go to the shed.
- You're a shed guy.

And I will make a decision
that will determine

whether we succeed or fail miserably.

- I can do it.
- Mike, I believe in you.

Honey, have you seen my fake glasses

that I wear in therapy sometimes?

I feel like the New York
patients really...

- They responded well to them.
- Oh.

I mean, since Christmas,
we've been having fun, sure,

but how do I know that
he's actually changed?

Well, why don't you address him?

But use the words "I feel"...

I feel that I would
like to know for sure

that you have changed.

Hmm.

Okay, Beau, your wife, Kay,
has said something to you.

Do you have a response to that?

Beau! We're doing therapy.

Yeah. I... I'll do whatever you want.

Okay. I've decided what I want.

I want you to go on a cruise with me.

- I ain't gonna do that.
- A cruise?

Is that, like, a significant
thing in the relationship?

Yeah, I wanted to go on a cruise
for our sixth anniversary,

and you said no 'cause you don't
ever want to do anything new.

Okay. Can you use "I feel"...

I feel that the man that refused
to go on that cruise with me

is not the man I want to be with.

I've... I... Do I feel now?

W... I think we're waiting
for your... your feel.

I feel like that was
15 years ago, I feel,

and I feel like I can't do
anything about that now, I feel.

Sure you can.
You can go on a cruise with me.

Kay, I can't do that.

You get your butt on a
boat with me in two days,

or else we're through.

This isn't fair.

You cruise me or you lose me.
It's that simple.

I can... I can't go.

Well, I guess that's that.

- Later, dude.
- No.

- Kay.
- Thank you.

I feel...

that you've really cleared
some things up for me.

Well, good. Um...

It's not how this works, is it?

Look, I... I'm...

I'm scared to go on a cruise, okay?

There. You got it. You happy?

Maybe you could help me with that.

Okay. Do... Do you want
to do one-on-one therapy?

Don't call it that.
Call it something else.

Uh, what do you want to call it?

- Call it talk... talk time.
- Talk time?

- You want to do talk time?
- Yes.

Maybe... you can help me
go on a cr... cr... cr...

You better enjoy
this panic attack, Beau,

'cause it's gonna be your last.

Ugh! There's s... There's
something wrong with me!

It's been three hours.
I'm gonna figure this out.

Here we go. Talk to me, alfalfa.

You want to live here, huh?
You want to get fertile here?

Jump out at me! I'm open to it.

Jump out at me! Anything.

Alfalfa. Hit me.

Cabbage! No? Kale. Kale.

Think! Think! Think! Think! Think!
Think! Think! Think! Think!

This isn't working!

- Good Lord. Mike...
- Kay, I'm sorry.

I don't mean to bother you, but, um...

- do you mind if we talk seed?
- Nope. I can't.

W... No, hold... hold on.
Hold on. Hold on.

I-I really need to bounce
some ideas off somebody,

and Rio's busy doing therapy with Beau.

- Wait. Beau's doing therapy?
- Yeah.

Good luck getting him to open up.

Oh, I think he's about to.

He... He's been writing,
uh, feelings down

- in a little journal.
- No, he's not.

- Yeah.
- Journaling? Well, he already told me

he's not gonna cruise with me.
What else is there to talk about?

He's not gonna change his mind... right?

Well, you know,
stranger things have happened.

Do you have a whiteboard inside?

- I'm just gonna jot
- Wait!

- a couple things down.
- The scrapbooking girls are in there!

Alright, ladies!
Let's make some memories!

Cruises are floating prisons...

without guards.

"Floating... prisons."
Interesting. Yeah. Yeah.

Also, because cruises go into
international waters... no laws.

- Okay.
- What if I become flustered

by the size of the shrimp cocktail?

Those are big shrimp!

What if I accidentally say "shrimps"

and everyone says,
"What? Where are you from?"

- Sure.
- What if I befriend an orphan

that lives below deck?

That could happen,
and I'm compassionate.

I wouldn't just leave the kid.

What if a rich guy
starts making fun of me

because I... went into
an exclusively rich area?

Maybe starting verbally
was a little bit too much.

Uh, Beau, let's try a different
way to open you up, bud.

Okay.

What emotion is coming
up for you right now?

Can you relax even your face muscles?

Ugh.

You're the most rigid person
I've ever seen in my life.

Thank you.

Up to the sky.

Good, and let's just release

all that stress through your sacrum.

If... If I do that, I'll clear the room.

- Okay.
- I had a big breakfast.

Alright. Now, Beau, just list out
all of your cruise fears.

Well, there's, you know... Okay.
One thing, tiny rooms.

- No, thank you.
- Oh.

Tiny rooms, and then there's strangers.

- Okay. There you go.
- Yeah, follow it.

- Oh. Yeah.
- Watch out, stranger.

You know, everybody rushes the line.

There's a line. You can't just
go to the buffet table.

You use the tongs!
You use the tongs!

- Good!
- There's tongs right there!

- Yes!
- Use the tongs!

- Yes!
- Use the tongs!

- Use the tongs!
- Use the tongs!

Use the tongs. All you have to do is...

- Good, Beau.
- ... use... the... tongs!

Rudy, are you okay?

Yesterday, you were acting strange,

and not just, like,

your regular, adorable strange.

- What do you mean?
- Rudy, when we mentioned

the word "criminal,"

you... you up and ran
off like a 6-foot jackrabbit.

Is there something you want to tell me?

No.

Okay. Well...

I already looked up
your criminal record.

Like I told you, I always get my man.

Everybody's gotta
stop running some time.

If you have backup coming,
tell them I'll go peacefully.

Rudy, get your hands down.

It's just a few unpaid
speeding tickets in Missouri.

W-What are you not telling me?

Nothing, but I just remembered,

I put too many oats in Theresa's feed.

- Gotta bounce.
- Ru... Ru... Ru... Rudy. Rudy.

Now, please don't tell
Rio that you talked to me.

I'm not supposed to be out of the house.

But if you do see her
and you talk to her,

just say I was chill,
relaxed, laid back.

Now, I've narrowed it down
to the top 10 contenders.

What we're looking for is
least amount of risk possible.

So... Linda, you're on melons.

- Clara, you're on broccoli.
- I love broccoli.

Clara, you're too
excited about broccoli.

I think you won't be objective,

so I'm gonna give you millet, alright?

- Kay!
- Oh, God.

You're dark horse contenders...

Sugar beets and lima beans.

You're right, Clara.
Rio makes people crazy.

- I know.
- Okay!

Now, use the binder to
bring yourself up to speed.

If you do have a flash drive in there,

find a computer, okay?

I think in about 30 minutes,
we should all be ready

to make a presentation.

I have stage fright.

Oh, stage fright? That's great.

We can do it, uh, independently,

- just you and I, one-on-one.
- Okay.

- Oh, my God.
- Clara!

The ship is so big, but the...
The room is so small.

Why... Why does it
have to be this small?

The walls are closing in.

Beau, it's really interesting,

the... the kind of
language you're using.

You know, you're saying, uh, "tiny room"

and that the walls
are closing in, right?

So I'm claustrophobic?

Or do you think what you're
really afraid of on that cruise

is being in that tiny room with Kay,

with all of her expectations

and all of her hopes and
dreams in there with you?

Nope.

- Next.
- Okay.

Do you think it's significant

that you didn't want
to go on this cruise...

on your sixth anniversary?

Nope. Next.

Okay, but, well, it's
your anniversary, so, obviously,

you're gonna be talking about it

and thinking about
the relationship, right?

Don't you think that's
what you'd be scared of?

I don't know. I don't know. I-I just...

All I know for sure is that
I'm more scared of losing Kay

than anything else in this world.

I know, and isn't it curious

that the one thing that you're afraid of

is the very thing that's
pushing Kay away?

Wow.

That's good.

That's good. Write that down.

That's a good one.

And given our current potash levels,

I think root vegetables are
completely off the table.

Linda, could you read
the notes back to me?

Was I supposed to be taking notes?

Clara, why... why'd you put

a glittery cat sticker
in the berry binder?

See, the cat looks like
he's eating a blueberry.

I'm having so much fun.

W-We... We've got to get serious.

I feel like I'm the only one
here that cares about my seeds.

Let's say we go all in on cucumbers,

but we misjudge the last frost.

We plant all these cukes, cold snap...

Boom! We've lost everything.

You never know what's gonna happen.

The only thing you know for sure

is that you have to choose a path.

But once we choose that path,
there's no going back.

After everything you've been through,

there's a chance you could
have nothing to show for it.

Just a field of old, cold cucumbers.

Yeah, and even if you've known

the cucumber your whole life...

I mean, you're putting your
heart into that field, right?

And you don't know what's gonna happen.

Oh, wow. Wow, wow, wow.

We are on the same page, sister.

Kay, it's me and Rio!
I got something to tell you!

- Kay!
- Clara, this is all your stuff.

- This is great.
- All this stuff is yours, okay,

- if Rio asks.
- Oh, M... Mike. Hey.

- Hi!
- Why are you here?

- Why are your eyes not blinking?
- Your husband is losing his mind,

and he's ruined our
scrapbooking session.

Not true. Not cool.

Kay, I've been working on myself.

Rio hypnotized me.

I... Well, I didn't hypnotize him.

- She did.
- There was... It was the therapy.

I'm not afraid of cruises anymore,

and I want to embrace
the uncertainty with you.

Let's take the risk and
hit the open waters.

- I can't.
- What?

I just... I can't. I'm sorry.

- Kay. Kay, Kay, Kay, Kay. Kay.
- I gotta get...

Here, listen to me. You're good.

- Just go ahead and find the floor.­
- Oh.

Melt. Melt.

Let's be fluid. Are you alright, bud?

Beau, do you need a bucket?

I'm not my feelings.

- Hey, Beau.
- Hey.

Just checking in on you.

I like your outfit.

Very orange. Wait.

Are... Are you and
Kay going on the cruise?

No.

Remember those breathing
exercises you taught me?

- Yeah, the...
- I was doing them. In that moment,

I realized I had been
facing my fears for Kay.

- Yes.
- Not facing my fears for myself.

- So, you're...
- Ah.

I'm off to meet a dolphin.

This is great. I'm really
proud of you. I am.

I hope you do get to see a dolphin.

Meet a dolphin.

- Alright.
- Anyway, look, I want you to know

this is all due to you.

Even though therapy
is not real, you are.

- Well...
- You're a real person.

Thank... Yes, well...

I wish that I felt like
a good therapist right now,

but I just can't, 'cause look at you.

You're going on this cruise without Kay,

and my husband's out
in the field right now,

looking at soil, going,
"What do you want planted in you?"

- And I'm like, "Honey..."
- Yeah.

That's because he's
looking for a no-risk seed.

Trick is, it doesn't exist.

- Well...
- Everything in farming is a risk.

You two have to take that risk together.

That's what I've been
trying to get Kay to do.

Hang on. I'm sorry.

That was...

That was just... That
was really helpful.

- Well, good.
- It was very sort of wise.

Well, it looks like the fake glasses

are on the other face now.

How did you know they were fake?

You took them off to read.

Got it. I will not do that again.

- That's, like, 101.
- Yeah.

Thank you for coming, Rudy.

Anything for you, my shining diamond.

Now, why am I handcuffed to this chair?

Connie thought that we could conduct

a mock interrogation
for my school project.

And since you're not
hiding anything from me,

I assumed that you would be open for it.

Thank you for making
the correct assumption.

I know about the speeding
tickets, Longfellow.

You want a cup of coffee? Because...

... you can't have any!

What did you do?!

Where are the bodies?! It's fun to yell!

Rudy, just answer
my partner's questions.

Hey, hey, hey.
Don't look at her. Look at me!

I know what you did, you bastard.

I know what you did!

It was illegal gambling.

I was a high roller at
every underground casino

in the state of Missouri.

Whoa. Connie, you were right.

You just say "I know what you did,"

and then they tell you
exactly what they did.

Jacob, w-will you go in
and type up a confession?

Yes, ma'am.

Bye, Mr. Rudy. Thanks.

I'm sorry, Constance. I was ashamed.

I didn't want you to think less of me.

Well, I'm not crazy about that, but...

I fell for the man that you are today.

So, you had a few small
money problems from the past.

Not small. Just south of 400K.

To pay off that debt,
I went to a loan shark.

But I could never make the damn vig.

Then I lost that money, too.

Pretty soon, I hit rock bottom.

I did the only thing
that was left for me.

You had a frank conversation
with the loan shark?

I burned my farm to the ground
for the insurance money.

Oh, so, you're...
You're living with Mike and Rio

because you burned down your own farm

to cover your gambling debts?

- Yes.
- I...

I-I don't know what's more upsetting...

The... the... the crimes
or that you... you...

You didn't tell me when
you had the chance.

I-I'm gonna need some
time to think about this.

Maybe you should... Maybe you should go.

I understand.

I'll respect your space.

Wow.

- Wow.
- Oh, hey.

- Uh, oh, boy.
- Look at this.

- You really...
- Yeah. Yeah.

- You really took it up a notch, babe.
- Yeah, I think I've, uh...

I've officially lost my mind doing this.

I think everyone was right.

I'm pretty certain I'm
gonna ruin our whole farm...

and take down your therapy business

- in the process.
- No, no.

I mean, I got so desperate,
I ate some of the seeds,

thinking maybe they'd tell
me something from within.

Now I have a real bad stomachache.

- You ate it? You ate one?
- Yeah, I thought it could help.

Love, I mean,

I'm just starting to think
that maybe there's no...

sort of perfect seed.

You know? I think you
gotta just kind of, like, jump in,

just, like, make the leap.

And so I would offer...

Can I do that with you?

- Can we do it together?
- Oh, my goodness. Like, for...

- Really? Yes.
- Yes.

- Please, please, please, please.
- Okay, good.

I don't want to leave you alone

- alone in it anymore.
- Okay. Thank you, okay?

So, tell me where you are right now.

Start at the beginning?

- Well, I mean...
- Okay, yeah.

- What do we got?
- So, a seed. What is it?

What is a seed? Well...
A seed is an embryonic plant...

- enclosed in a protective outer cover.
- Okay, you're going...

- You're starting from one.
- Yeah, so...

Hey, you guys? Have you seen Beau?

It's Fornicate Friday,
and we're supposed to do it.

Yeah, you know what?
Uh, he left me a-a note for you.

He said this will explain
everything, so...

"Gone cruisin'."

Is that really all he wrote? God.
He spent so much time on that.

Wait, h-he went
on the cruise by himself?

He did. He wanted to sort of explore

some of those fears for himself.

- Damn it.
- Kay.

Now he's gonna get a sleeve
full of tribal tattoos.

He's gonna take up residence
in a Tongan hut,

all sexy and sunburned,
with some island woman

peeling dead skin
off of him like a cobra.

- Kay...
- And I let that go?

He's ready, and I freaked out?
Take me to the airport.

- Kay.
- I will not let that happen.

- Oh, you wanna...
- W-We gotta make

- a decision on our seeds.
- Mike!

We can talk about your seeds in the car!

Take me to the airport!

Oh, lavender.

Yeah, you can make, like,
dope bath bombs, very relaxing...

- Eh, it's very prone to root rot.
- Is it?

Yeah, b-but good... good idea.
What else you got?

Hey, don't take your foot
off the gas for a second, Mike!

Okay? Beau's probably
at the airport by now...

sipping on a piña colada at the gate.

Oh, no, there he is.

- What?
- There he is.

- Look at this.
- Okay. Pull over.

- Right there. I'm gonna go.
- Okay. Okay.

Gimme that, you big dummy.

Oh!

I see.

What are you doing here?
You didn't... come out here

just to open my beef jerky, did you?

No, I want to go on that cruise...

with you.

It may break us up,
may bring us closer together,

but there's only one way to find out.

Alright.

- That's a good idea.
- Okay.

You want me to go buy you
one of those sweaty hot dogs

they got spinning around in there?

No, I want to pay Omaha prices
at the airport, like an idiot.

Those guys... They don't know.

Okay.

Ray...

we're gonna go with cucumber.

Awesome.

- Okay.
- Sorry. Out of that.

Ch... Oh. Okay.

Sugar beets.

Nope.

Okay. That's okay. That's fine.

Let's look for, uh... We got a little...

- Wasn't expecting that.
- Yeah, I wasn't either.

I think we could do cabbage or mint.

- Uh, mint. Mint is fantastic.
- Cabbage. And mint, uh-huh.

- Or Avery.
- Nope, nope,

and Avery's the name
of the binder company.

- Yeah, that's the tab, hon.
- Oh, sorry about that, honey.

We do have sorghum.

But sorghum's a little risky.

S-Sorghum is my number-one
favorite Old World grain.

S-Sorghum is my number-one
favorite Old World grain.

- Are you serious?!
- Yes!

- Sorghum!
- We're in the sorghum business, baby.

- We made a decision!
- Sorghum!

- I love you!
- Ohh!

Oh, babe, sorghum. Are you kidding me?

It is used in alcohol, biofuel,
as animal fodder.

Oh, my God. Babe, it's gluten-free.

- It's a great, great crop.
- I love it.

You know, it does have
some cyanide in it,

so it can, uh, poison livestock, but...

That's fine. We said
we wanted to be risky, right?

- What's this?
- Oh.

- Jacob's here.
- Jacob. Hey.

Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Rio.

Uh, my mom sent me
a text message

that just says "Gone cruisin'."

- So, do you know what that means?
- Yeah, you know what?

She... Maybe it should have
been more than a text, yeah.

- Come on in, bud.
- Just come on in. Come in.

Is she dead?