Black Scorpion (2001): Season 1, Episode 16 - Kiss of Death - full transcript
- After my speech tonight,
I wouldn't be surprised
if the policemen's association
endorsed me for the election.
They really seem to respond to my
anti-vigilantism platform,
don't you think?
- You told me I don't
get paid to think.
- You're not paid to chew gum either,
but it didn't stop you from chomping it
and twirling it and snapping
it while I was at the podium.
- La, la, la, la, la, la.
- Hey!
- Ha ha!
Now we're even.
- Not using a trashcan
is a trash can't!
- Whoa.
- Used bubblegum should be replaced
in a paper wrapper and
kept in your ashtray!
- Oh, sanitation psycho.
- What does he want?
- He wants to send us to the
big junkyard in the sky.
- Grr!
- Oh!
- Here, here, dial 911.
- Oh, what's the number?
- Oh, the world would be a much
neater place without
scum like you in it!
- Yeah, this is the mayor.
They put me on hold.
- Any unit in the vicinity
of 8th and eternity,
the mayor's town car
is being road-raged by
the sanitation psycho.
Please respond.
- It's a dirty job, but
somebody's gotta do it.
- That's us, call it in, let's roll.
- This is unit two six
nine four, we're on it.
- Ooh, ha ha.
- Oh, geez.
- Oh!
- I'll never toot them again, I swear.
Oh!
- Woo hoo!
- Ah, thank god for airbags.
- Well, if it isn't the
city's most famous litterbug.
- Engage stingray.
Time to take out the trash.
Fire!
- I'm caught!
God, not again.
How did you ever get your license?
- Fire.
- In the light of day,
Darcy Walker is a cop.
But in the dark of night, she becomes
black scorpion.
Doing with a mask what she
can't do with a badge.
- Think cap's gonna
be mad about the car?
- Not if we don't tell him, we won't.
- Rafferty.
- Whoa, who is that?
- I'd like you to meet
detective Angela archer,
who just transferred in from the 13th.
- 13th, tough precinct.
- Almost as tough as this one.
- Since Walker's not in yet, I thought
maybe you could take
detective archer on patrol
and, you know, let her get a feel
for how we do things around here.
- Hey, cap, uh, we
could show her around.
- Yeah, cap, we'd be
glad to give her a feel.
- Well, the problem is
you don't have a car.
- Uh-oh.
He knows.
- I just got the accident report.
What does that make, three this month?
- Cap, this time that
was not our fault.
- Cap, it was black scorpion.
She zapped us with some sort
of stingray or something.
- The woman's a menace.
- Well, the mayor would
agree with you there.
In fact, the mayor has promised
the policeman's association
that we will rid the city
of both black scorpion
and the sanitation
psycho by election day.
- Well, if Angela's as
good as her reputation,
we'll be able to deliver
on that promise.
Right?
After you.
- So what exactly is my reputation?
- I just heard that you were
one tough, no-nonsense cop.
- The men at my precinct
had a different way
of looking at it, at me.
- Such as?
- They thought I was out
to prove something.
- And?
Are you?
- Just that I don't like to
see innocent people get hurt.
And I'd do anything I can
to see that they don't.
- Well, anything within
the law, of course.
- Of course.
I'm a cop, I'm not a vigilante.
- Good, good.
Because this city certainly
has enough of those.
- Steve, look.
- What?
What, what's wrong?
- Isn't it a little warm
to be wearing an overcoat?
- A concealed weapon.
Better call for backup.
- There's only one of 'em.
We can take him.
- It's procedure, Angela.
This is unit two niner six
two, come in, dispatch.
- Go ahead, two niner six two.
- Yeah, I'm requesting
immediate backup.
- Too late, he made us.
Floor it!
Going after him.
Circle around and cut him off.
- This is unit two niner
six two giving pursuit
to a male Caucasian suspect last seen
wearing a blue overcoat and
heading east on Arcadia Avenue.
Let's keep a heads up
for a female detective
giving pursuit on foot
in civilian clothes.
- What female detective?
- Freeze, police!
- Don't shoot.
- Where's your weapon?
- I don't have one.
- You're under arrest.
- Aw, gimme a break, will ya?
I was just trying to
get something to eat.
- There'll be plenty of bread
and water where you're going.
- Ow.
- Don't shoot.
I'm detective Walker.
I'm going to shield you.
- Uh-uh.
Slowly.
Detective Angela archer.
Thanks for the backup.
- Doesn't look like you needed it.
- He resisted.
- Can't you get one of
your models to do this?
- Their lips are too skinny.
Now stop flappin' yours and hold still.
- I don't wanna do this.
- Argyle?
- True blue!
- Is, uh, is there something
about you I should know?
- Yeah, my girlfriend's a bully.
- I'm just using him as a lip model
to try out my new line
of flavored lipsticks.
I call them killer kisses.
One taste, and a man'll think
he's died and gone to heaven.
- Yeah, I'll die if the
guys find out about this.
And you'd better not tell
anybody either, blue.
- Well, unfortunately, I'm not
very good at looking the other way.
- What's wrong, girlfriend?
- I saw something last night.
Another cop was roughing up a suspect.
- A cop.
Roughing up a suspect.
Oh, what a concept.
- No, trust me, this was brutal.
- What's the problem?
Report 'em.
- It's not that easy.
The lieutenant raised me
to believe in the code.
Cops don't tell on each other.
- Yeah, but he also taught you
to do what you have to do.
Which is exactly what
I'm gonna do right now,
and get this gunk off my face.
- Oh, come on.
- Good morning, Angela.
- Hasn't been so far.
- Really?
What's wrong?
- Captain's questioning my bust.
- That's something we would never do.
Right, specs?
- Absolutely not.
- Then Darcy came down on me.
- Why?
- I needed someplace
to fill out my report.
I don't have desk yet,
so I borrowed hers.
- You know, she's just
probably jealous of your bust.
- Listen, Angela.
I'll smooth things out
with darce, all right?
Where is she?
- In with the captain.
- Detective, uh...
I'm afraid I've got
some bad news for you.
We're releasing your shoplifter.
- What?
Why?
- Well, he hired Johnny
cockroach as a lawyer.
And the mayor doesn't
want the department
accused of vigilantism, so, uh,
we're gonna settle out of court.
- Settle what?
- Well, the shoplifter's lawsuit.
He claimed excessive force.
- He resisted arrest.
- Well, I mean, that's for the
internal affairs to decide.
And meanwhile, I'm afraid
that you're suspended.
I'm gonna need your badge and your gun.
- This isn't justice.
This isn't justice.
- She's gonna need a hug.
- He's gonna need help.
- Are you suspending her
on the word of some perp?
- No, no, no, that's not it.
It's on the word of an eyewitness.
- Well, what eyewitness?
Great, congratulations, Walker.
You got your desk back.
- Come on, man, hurry!
Hurry up, man, most
wanted's on in 20 minutes.
I wanna see who's playing me.
- Freeze.
Police.
- Police?
Who you tryin' to fool?
You're not a cop.
Not with your hand in your pocket
and that face like an angel.
- I'm not the angel you think I am.
Get down on the ground.
- Anything you say.
Get her.
Too bad that angel couldn't fly.
- Angela.
Angela.
Angela.
- Now this is justice.
- Between the three of us, I
think we bought out spiffany's.
- And it's all compliments of
the city of angel's finest.
- I don't understand.
- Let's just say that
silence is golden.
- I couldn't agree more.
Which is why I'm going to
silence you with a kiss.
- Excuse me, ladies.
Have I died and gone to heaven or what?
- Not yet.
- What's happening to me?
- You've just been kissed
by the angel of death.
- The mysterious murder of a shoplifter
has become even more mysterious,
now that the results
of his autopsy are in.
The coroner has listed
the cause of death
as cardiac arrest brought
on by a poisonous lipstick.
- Now that's what I call a killer kiss.
- Baby, are you sure
that lipstick is safe?
- What, you think I'm
trying to kill you?
- No, I just feel kinda sick.
- Nice try, but this flavor
is called jalapeno hello.
It won't give you a heart attack.
- Yeah, but I'm gettin' heartburn.
I need some water.
- Argyle!
- What's wrong with him?
- You want an alphabetized list?
- I need his help right now.
- Now, how come you always
come to him for help?
My head's got as much
gray matter as his does.
- The coroner's report
said that the shoplifter
died from being kissed
by poisonous lipstick.
Now, what I want to know is, how come
the killer wasn't poisoned too?
- Acrylic lips!
- What?
- They're my own invention.
Check 'em out.
I sell 'em to women who
are allergic to lipstick.
Nothing ever absorbs into the skin.
- Veronica, you have been a huge help.
- See?
What did I tell ya?
- All right, let's see
if our detective archer
did any work on the forensics unit
before going plain clothes.
Conceal lair.
Angela.
What are you doing here?
- I know we didn't get off
to a very good start,
but I just needed someone to talk to.
I'm scared, Darcy.
Can I call you Darcy?
- Yeah, sure.
So what is it?
What's got you so scared?
- Being an ordinary citizen.
- Oh.
Right.
I know, that can be tough.
- Which is why I came to you.
I was hoping that you could
give me some advice.
- Sometimes it's really hard
for a cop to stop being a cop.
I mean, at least it was for me.
But then again, our situations
are completely different, so...
- In what way?
- For me, this job is personal.
My father was a cop.
From the time I saw him in uniform,
I wanted to be one too.
But then I stopped caring about the law
when he was murdered.
It happened right in front of me.
From that night on, I vowed to do
whatever I had to to avenge him.
- Hey, we're not as
different as you think.
My father was a man in uniform too.
He ran the ministry of
angels mission downtown.
He opened it there because that's where
he said crime was the highest.
He always said you
couldn't wrestle the devil
to the ground unless you
had him by the horns.
And that's why his congregation
was made up of lowlife scum.
Junkies, hoods, streetwalkers.
One night, a loud pounding woke me up.
At first I thought it was the storm.
But when my father opened the door,
there was a man standing there.
He was soaking wet from the rain.
He said he had just been released
from prison and had nowhere to turn.
My father didn't want him to turn back
to a life of crime, so
he offered him shelter.
But the man didn't want shelter.
He wanted our donation box.
My father refused to give it
to him and started preaching.
He wasn't trying to save the money.
He was trying to save the man's soul.
The more my father started preaching,
the angrier the man got.
He just started screaming
and threatening
to blow my father away.
Only it wasn't a threat.
He did it.
And for what?
Eight dollars and 33 cents.
- Did the police ever catch him?
- No, I couldn't give
them a description.
Till this day I can't
remember what he looked like.
That's why every time I make an arrest,
I think this could be him.
I guess that's the one true
difference between us.
- What is?
- To avenge your father's murder,
you only have to get one criminal.
I have to get them all.
- Angela, you can't catch them all.
- Have you seen my arrest record?
It was the highest at
the 13th precinct.
That's why they wanted me transferred.
They were jealous.
And now the same thing's
happening here.
Strickland doesn't really
have an eyewitness.
- Actually, he does have one.
But it's not one of the men.
It's me.
- I never thought you'd side with scum.
- Look, Angela, I...
- Just forget it.
You know, I thought I'd finally
found a friend in you,
but I can see that I was wrong.
Dead wrong.
- Attention any unit in the vicinity
of nirvana and 9th, car
theft in progress.
To repeat, car theft in progress
on the corner of nirvana and 9th.
Any unit in the vicinity
please respond.
- Gottaa teach that girl to
break down in our neighborhood.
Now let's boogie before the
city of angels' finest show up.
- Too late.
The city's finest angel's already here.
- We must be in heaven.
- I'm not heaven sent.
But let's just say I've got
your ticket to paradise.
Now pucker up.
- You must be new in town.
- I'm the angel of death.
And I'm the answer to
this city's prayers.
- Prayers for an executioner?
- Don't sound so high and mighty.
You've killed when you've had to.
- Exactly, when I had to.
And for your sake, you'd better hope
this isn't one of those times.
- That almost sounds like a threat.
- Oh, it is.
Because if you don't give yourself up,
you're gonna be one angel
that begs for mercy.
- The only one that's gonna
be begging for mercy is you.
I don't usually like to kick a
girl when she's down, but...
- I may be down but not out.
You're one hell of an angel.
- Why don't we kiss and make up?
- Freeze!
Police!
What the...
I'm not interrupting something, am I?
- Yes, her death.
- Get your lips away from her.
I swear, one more inch and I'll shoot.
Let her go.
- The only place she's
going is to heaven.
- Like hell.
- You're under arrest.
- She's getting away.
- And I suppose you
expect me to let you go
so you can chase after her?
- The devil you know is better
than the angel you don't.
- I'm not so sure.
- Well, maybe this'll convince you.
- I don't think there'll be any
vigilante kissing this week.
- Well, kiss again.
- Mr. Mayor.
What are you doing here?
- Show him the headline, babette.
- Spiffany's is having a 50%-off sale.
- No, not that one.
The front page, right there.
- "Vigilantes execute justice"?
- First it's black scorpion.
Then it's the sanitation psycho.
And now this angel of death.
Pretty soon the streets won't
be safe for criminals anymore.
- Mayor, let me guess.
You're going for the
criminal vote, right?
- I'm going after the policeman vote.
But I won't get it
unless strickland here,
your captain, keeps my
promise and gets those
costumed kooks off the streets.
- Now, wait just a minute...
- Oh no, take...
Take it easy, Walker.
Remember, this is the mayor.
- Now, get these masked
marauders off the streets
before you end up back there yourself,
walkin' a beat.
- Attention all units,
the sanitation psycho
just robbed angel tech.
- What did he steal, dispatch?
- Pack 86x, Walker.
- Is that weapon?
- Negative, it's a high-tech
waste management unit.
- Well, let's see if I
can manage to waste him.
Computer, activate auto-transform.
Access vehicular tracking system.
Locate all trucks blue in color
carrying one passenger
and transporting debris.
Departure point, angel tech.
There's the little neat freak.
- Okay, let's see what
this baby can do.
Oh yeah, pick up all that dirt.
You know what I like.
By the time I'm done, this
place'll be so clean,
you'll be able to eat off the ground.
- Or you'll be buried
six feet under it.
- Who the hell are you?
- I'm the angel that's
been watching over you.
And I haven't liked what I've seen.
- Well, I like what I see.
You are beautiful.
So clean.
- But I have a dirty mind.
And all I can think about is
what I want to do to you.
- And what would that be?
- Love you.
To death.
- Say your prayers, angel.
- Black scorpion.
What a heavenly idea.
But why not make it a
prayer for the dying?
- Well, it looks to me
like he's already dead.
- I wasn't talking about him.
I was talking about you.
Now that's what I call angel dust.
- The angel of death
used her lethal lips
on the sanitation psycho last night,
but what has authorities baffled
is why she made off with
the stolen vac-pack 86x
and what she plans to do with it.
We'll take a look at...
- There's only one way
to find out.
- Breaking and entering is
a crime, black scorpion.
- So is murder.
But it doesn't seem to bother you.
- Oh, but it does.
And eventually I'll have to
face my day of reckoning.
But tonight you'll have to face yours.
- Clipped your wings on that one.
- Together we could've made
this city heaven on earth.
But you had to put your mask
where it didn't belong.
That's what I call being
touched by an angel.
- Oh my god.
You scared me to death.
- Well, that goes double for me.
In fact, you look like
death warmed over.
- It's not too far from the truth.
What are you doing here anyway?
- Hiding my lips from tender lovin'.
- Speaking of lips, why
would the angel of death
load her lipstick into the vac-pack?
- I don't know.
Maybe she wants to start
blowing her kisses.
- Idle hands are the
devil's playground.
Hm.
- The only reason the angel of death
would want to blow her kisses is if
she wanted to kill a large group of...
Oh my god, that's it.
- That's what?
- She's going after the supervillains.
- But they're all locked up.
- Which is exactly where she wants 'em.
- Yea, though I walk through the valley
of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for tonight all evil shall die.
The evil that's inside
every one of your hearts.
Behold your fate!
I am your judge.
I am your jury.
I am your executioner.
The avenging angel come
to send you all to hell.
Tonight there's going
to be hell to pay.
But not just for the six of you.
Every car thief, bank
robber, and purse snatcher
is going to suffer the same fate.
My kiss of death is set to blow
right through the air vents.
- All right, there's no
answer at pearl gate.
Do me a favor, call Steve,
have him meet me there with backup.
- Whoa, blue.
Let's think about this, shall we?
- What's to think about?
- I mean, it's not exactly like
the supervillains are innocent victims.
- Yes, I know that.
But I also know that there
are two sides to everybody.
Look, the breathtaker
was once a doctor.
Aftershock and hurricane
were scientists.
Okay, inferno, he was a fireman.
And Angela was a cop.
And I know inside each one
of them there's still good.
There has to be.
And if I let that die, I'm
no better than they are.
- Is there anything I can
do to change your mind?
- No.
I just, I can't look the other way.
- Fifty-four seconds
to eternal damnation.
- Well, that doesn't give
you much time to get out.
- Tonight all criminals must die.
And that includes the two of us.
- Not if I can help it.
- You can't.
Not even heaven can help you now.
- Then maybe it's time to
open the gates of hell.
- Police!
It's black scorpion.
Take charge, I'm gonna get her.
- All right, everybody get
back into his or her cell.
- Tell me you've got
something better than that.
- Yeah, oh god, this is not working.
Attention, black scorpion.
Remain where you are.
Police reinforcements are on the way.
Attention.
Remain where you are.
Police reinforcements are on their way.
There is no escape.
- Come in, sky one.
Any sign of black scorpion?
- Negative, mate.
No visual contact.
- This is unit 47 in
pursuit of black scorpion
heading south on 3rd street.
Request backup.
- Fire.
- How did you let black
scorpion get away this time?
- Uh, you're gonna have
to ask the cap that.
- Well, where is he?
- Uh, he's down at the
policeman's association.
- Well, what's he doing there?
- He's there getting their endorsement.
- Oh, strickland, you did that for me?
- No, I did it for me.
I'm sick and tired of
being your doormat.
So I've decided to run against you.
- Oh.
- Uh-oh.
- In fact, I've already come up
with my own campaign slogan.
Vote for strickland and
make the city worthless.
- What?
- Worthless, get it?
You know, like, no mayor worth?
- It needs work.
- Just a little.
- Well, that's what I have you two for.
As my campaign managers.
Now come on, into the office.
Let's have a strategy session.
- happy, happy.
- Joy, joy.
- Where are you going, babette?
- To sit in his lap.
- He hasn't even won yet.
- I know, but I figure
better safe than sorry.
- See?
- I was just kiddin'.
- In an ironic twist, Angela archer,
the former police
detective, also known as
the angel of death, is now an inmate
on supervillains row, where she joins
the very criminals she
so vehemently hates.
- You know, I'll never understand
what makes a good cop go bad.
- I think everyone has a dark side.
- Everyone except you.
- What are you talking about?
I have a dark side.
- Oh come on, Walker.
You might as well have
a halo over your head.
- You know, I wouldn't be too
sure about that if I were you.
I mean, for all you know I could
be the devil in disguise.
- No disguise in the world would
ever hide who you really are.
- Yeah, you're probably right.
I wouldn't be surprised
if the policemen's association
endorsed me for the election.
They really seem to respond to my
anti-vigilantism platform,
don't you think?
- You told me I don't
get paid to think.
- You're not paid to chew gum either,
but it didn't stop you from chomping it
and twirling it and snapping
it while I was at the podium.
- La, la, la, la, la, la.
- Hey!
- Ha ha!
Now we're even.
- Not using a trashcan
is a trash can't!
- Whoa.
- Used bubblegum should be replaced
in a paper wrapper and
kept in your ashtray!
- Oh, sanitation psycho.
- What does he want?
- He wants to send us to the
big junkyard in the sky.
- Grr!
- Oh!
- Here, here, dial 911.
- Oh, what's the number?
- Oh, the world would be a much
neater place without
scum like you in it!
- Yeah, this is the mayor.
They put me on hold.
- Any unit in the vicinity
of 8th and eternity,
the mayor's town car
is being road-raged by
the sanitation psycho.
Please respond.
- It's a dirty job, but
somebody's gotta do it.
- That's us, call it in, let's roll.
- This is unit two six
nine four, we're on it.
- Ooh, ha ha.
- Oh, geez.
- Oh!
- I'll never toot them again, I swear.
Oh!
- Woo hoo!
- Ah, thank god for airbags.
- Well, if it isn't the
city's most famous litterbug.
- Engage stingray.
Time to take out the trash.
Fire!
- I'm caught!
God, not again.
How did you ever get your license?
- Fire.
- In the light of day,
Darcy Walker is a cop.
But in the dark of night, she becomes
black scorpion.
Doing with a mask what she
can't do with a badge.
- Think cap's gonna
be mad about the car?
- Not if we don't tell him, we won't.
- Rafferty.
- Whoa, who is that?
- I'd like you to meet
detective Angela archer,
who just transferred in from the 13th.
- 13th, tough precinct.
- Almost as tough as this one.
- Since Walker's not in yet, I thought
maybe you could take
detective archer on patrol
and, you know, let her get a feel
for how we do things around here.
- Hey, cap, uh, we
could show her around.
- Yeah, cap, we'd be
glad to give her a feel.
- Well, the problem is
you don't have a car.
- Uh-oh.
He knows.
- I just got the accident report.
What does that make, three this month?
- Cap, this time that
was not our fault.
- Cap, it was black scorpion.
She zapped us with some sort
of stingray or something.
- The woman's a menace.
- Well, the mayor would
agree with you there.
In fact, the mayor has promised
the policeman's association
that we will rid the city
of both black scorpion
and the sanitation
psycho by election day.
- Well, if Angela's as
good as her reputation,
we'll be able to deliver
on that promise.
Right?
After you.
- So what exactly is my reputation?
- I just heard that you were
one tough, no-nonsense cop.
- The men at my precinct
had a different way
of looking at it, at me.
- Such as?
- They thought I was out
to prove something.
- And?
Are you?
- Just that I don't like to
see innocent people get hurt.
And I'd do anything I can
to see that they don't.
- Well, anything within
the law, of course.
- Of course.
I'm a cop, I'm not a vigilante.
- Good, good.
Because this city certainly
has enough of those.
- Steve, look.
- What?
What, what's wrong?
- Isn't it a little warm
to be wearing an overcoat?
- A concealed weapon.
Better call for backup.
- There's only one of 'em.
We can take him.
- It's procedure, Angela.
This is unit two niner six
two, come in, dispatch.
- Go ahead, two niner six two.
- Yeah, I'm requesting
immediate backup.
- Too late, he made us.
Floor it!
Going after him.
Circle around and cut him off.
- This is unit two niner
six two giving pursuit
to a male Caucasian suspect last seen
wearing a blue overcoat and
heading east on Arcadia Avenue.
Let's keep a heads up
for a female detective
giving pursuit on foot
in civilian clothes.
- What female detective?
- Freeze, police!
- Don't shoot.
- Where's your weapon?
- I don't have one.
- You're under arrest.
- Aw, gimme a break, will ya?
I was just trying to
get something to eat.
- There'll be plenty of bread
and water where you're going.
- Ow.
- Don't shoot.
I'm detective Walker.
I'm going to shield you.
- Uh-uh.
Slowly.
Detective Angela archer.
Thanks for the backup.
- Doesn't look like you needed it.
- He resisted.
- Can't you get one of
your models to do this?
- Their lips are too skinny.
Now stop flappin' yours and hold still.
- I don't wanna do this.
- Argyle?
- True blue!
- Is, uh, is there something
about you I should know?
- Yeah, my girlfriend's a bully.
- I'm just using him as a lip model
to try out my new line
of flavored lipsticks.
I call them killer kisses.
One taste, and a man'll think
he's died and gone to heaven.
- Yeah, I'll die if the
guys find out about this.
And you'd better not tell
anybody either, blue.
- Well, unfortunately, I'm not
very good at looking the other way.
- What's wrong, girlfriend?
- I saw something last night.
Another cop was roughing up a suspect.
- A cop.
Roughing up a suspect.
Oh, what a concept.
- No, trust me, this was brutal.
- What's the problem?
Report 'em.
- It's not that easy.
The lieutenant raised me
to believe in the code.
Cops don't tell on each other.
- Yeah, but he also taught you
to do what you have to do.
Which is exactly what
I'm gonna do right now,
and get this gunk off my face.
- Oh, come on.
- Good morning, Angela.
- Hasn't been so far.
- Really?
What's wrong?
- Captain's questioning my bust.
- That's something we would never do.
Right, specs?
- Absolutely not.
- Then Darcy came down on me.
- Why?
- I needed someplace
to fill out my report.
I don't have desk yet,
so I borrowed hers.
- You know, she's just
probably jealous of your bust.
- Listen, Angela.
I'll smooth things out
with darce, all right?
Where is she?
- In with the captain.
- Detective, uh...
I'm afraid I've got
some bad news for you.
We're releasing your shoplifter.
- What?
Why?
- Well, he hired Johnny
cockroach as a lawyer.
And the mayor doesn't
want the department
accused of vigilantism, so, uh,
we're gonna settle out of court.
- Settle what?
- Well, the shoplifter's lawsuit.
He claimed excessive force.
- He resisted arrest.
- Well, I mean, that's for the
internal affairs to decide.
And meanwhile, I'm afraid
that you're suspended.
I'm gonna need your badge and your gun.
- This isn't justice.
This isn't justice.
- She's gonna need a hug.
- He's gonna need help.
- Are you suspending her
on the word of some perp?
- No, no, no, that's not it.
It's on the word of an eyewitness.
- Well, what eyewitness?
Great, congratulations, Walker.
You got your desk back.
- Come on, man, hurry!
Hurry up, man, most
wanted's on in 20 minutes.
I wanna see who's playing me.
- Freeze.
Police.
- Police?
Who you tryin' to fool?
You're not a cop.
Not with your hand in your pocket
and that face like an angel.
- I'm not the angel you think I am.
Get down on the ground.
- Anything you say.
Get her.
Too bad that angel couldn't fly.
- Angela.
Angela.
Angela.
- Now this is justice.
- Between the three of us, I
think we bought out spiffany's.
- And it's all compliments of
the city of angel's finest.
- I don't understand.
- Let's just say that
silence is golden.
- I couldn't agree more.
Which is why I'm going to
silence you with a kiss.
- Excuse me, ladies.
Have I died and gone to heaven or what?
- Not yet.
- What's happening to me?
- You've just been kissed
by the angel of death.
- The mysterious murder of a shoplifter
has become even more mysterious,
now that the results
of his autopsy are in.
The coroner has listed
the cause of death
as cardiac arrest brought
on by a poisonous lipstick.
- Now that's what I call a killer kiss.
- Baby, are you sure
that lipstick is safe?
- What, you think I'm
trying to kill you?
- No, I just feel kinda sick.
- Nice try, but this flavor
is called jalapeno hello.
It won't give you a heart attack.
- Yeah, but I'm gettin' heartburn.
I need some water.
- Argyle!
- What's wrong with him?
- You want an alphabetized list?
- I need his help right now.
- Now, how come you always
come to him for help?
My head's got as much
gray matter as his does.
- The coroner's report
said that the shoplifter
died from being kissed
by poisonous lipstick.
Now, what I want to know is, how come
the killer wasn't poisoned too?
- Acrylic lips!
- What?
- They're my own invention.
Check 'em out.
I sell 'em to women who
are allergic to lipstick.
Nothing ever absorbs into the skin.
- Veronica, you have been a huge help.
- See?
What did I tell ya?
- All right, let's see
if our detective archer
did any work on the forensics unit
before going plain clothes.
Conceal lair.
Angela.
What are you doing here?
- I know we didn't get off
to a very good start,
but I just needed someone to talk to.
I'm scared, Darcy.
Can I call you Darcy?
- Yeah, sure.
So what is it?
What's got you so scared?
- Being an ordinary citizen.
- Oh.
Right.
I know, that can be tough.
- Which is why I came to you.
I was hoping that you could
give me some advice.
- Sometimes it's really hard
for a cop to stop being a cop.
I mean, at least it was for me.
But then again, our situations
are completely different, so...
- In what way?
- For me, this job is personal.
My father was a cop.
From the time I saw him in uniform,
I wanted to be one too.
But then I stopped caring about the law
when he was murdered.
It happened right in front of me.
From that night on, I vowed to do
whatever I had to to avenge him.
- Hey, we're not as
different as you think.
My father was a man in uniform too.
He ran the ministry of
angels mission downtown.
He opened it there because that's where
he said crime was the highest.
He always said you
couldn't wrestle the devil
to the ground unless you
had him by the horns.
And that's why his congregation
was made up of lowlife scum.
Junkies, hoods, streetwalkers.
One night, a loud pounding woke me up.
At first I thought it was the storm.
But when my father opened the door,
there was a man standing there.
He was soaking wet from the rain.
He said he had just been released
from prison and had nowhere to turn.
My father didn't want him to turn back
to a life of crime, so
he offered him shelter.
But the man didn't want shelter.
He wanted our donation box.
My father refused to give it
to him and started preaching.
He wasn't trying to save the money.
He was trying to save the man's soul.
The more my father started preaching,
the angrier the man got.
He just started screaming
and threatening
to blow my father away.
Only it wasn't a threat.
He did it.
And for what?
Eight dollars and 33 cents.
- Did the police ever catch him?
- No, I couldn't give
them a description.
Till this day I can't
remember what he looked like.
That's why every time I make an arrest,
I think this could be him.
I guess that's the one true
difference between us.
- What is?
- To avenge your father's murder,
you only have to get one criminal.
I have to get them all.
- Angela, you can't catch them all.
- Have you seen my arrest record?
It was the highest at
the 13th precinct.
That's why they wanted me transferred.
They were jealous.
And now the same thing's
happening here.
Strickland doesn't really
have an eyewitness.
- Actually, he does have one.
But it's not one of the men.
It's me.
- I never thought you'd side with scum.
- Look, Angela, I...
- Just forget it.
You know, I thought I'd finally
found a friend in you,
but I can see that I was wrong.
Dead wrong.
- Attention any unit in the vicinity
of nirvana and 9th, car
theft in progress.
To repeat, car theft in progress
on the corner of nirvana and 9th.
Any unit in the vicinity
please respond.
- Gottaa teach that girl to
break down in our neighborhood.
Now let's boogie before the
city of angels' finest show up.
- Too late.
The city's finest angel's already here.
- We must be in heaven.
- I'm not heaven sent.
But let's just say I've got
your ticket to paradise.
Now pucker up.
- You must be new in town.
- I'm the angel of death.
And I'm the answer to
this city's prayers.
- Prayers for an executioner?
- Don't sound so high and mighty.
You've killed when you've had to.
- Exactly, when I had to.
And for your sake, you'd better hope
this isn't one of those times.
- That almost sounds like a threat.
- Oh, it is.
Because if you don't give yourself up,
you're gonna be one angel
that begs for mercy.
- The only one that's gonna
be begging for mercy is you.
I don't usually like to kick a
girl when she's down, but...
- I may be down but not out.
You're one hell of an angel.
- Why don't we kiss and make up?
- Freeze!
Police!
What the...
I'm not interrupting something, am I?
- Yes, her death.
- Get your lips away from her.
I swear, one more inch and I'll shoot.
Let her go.
- The only place she's
going is to heaven.
- Like hell.
- You're under arrest.
- She's getting away.
- And I suppose you
expect me to let you go
so you can chase after her?
- The devil you know is better
than the angel you don't.
- I'm not so sure.
- Well, maybe this'll convince you.
- I don't think there'll be any
vigilante kissing this week.
- Well, kiss again.
- Mr. Mayor.
What are you doing here?
- Show him the headline, babette.
- Spiffany's is having a 50%-off sale.
- No, not that one.
The front page, right there.
- "Vigilantes execute justice"?
- First it's black scorpion.
Then it's the sanitation psycho.
And now this angel of death.
Pretty soon the streets won't
be safe for criminals anymore.
- Mayor, let me guess.
You're going for the
criminal vote, right?
- I'm going after the policeman vote.
But I won't get it
unless strickland here,
your captain, keeps my
promise and gets those
costumed kooks off the streets.
- Now, wait just a minute...
- Oh no, take...
Take it easy, Walker.
Remember, this is the mayor.
- Now, get these masked
marauders off the streets
before you end up back there yourself,
walkin' a beat.
- Attention all units,
the sanitation psycho
just robbed angel tech.
- What did he steal, dispatch?
- Pack 86x, Walker.
- Is that weapon?
- Negative, it's a high-tech
waste management unit.
- Well, let's see if I
can manage to waste him.
Computer, activate auto-transform.
Access vehicular tracking system.
Locate all trucks blue in color
carrying one passenger
and transporting debris.
Departure point, angel tech.
There's the little neat freak.
- Okay, let's see what
this baby can do.
Oh yeah, pick up all that dirt.
You know what I like.
By the time I'm done, this
place'll be so clean,
you'll be able to eat off the ground.
- Or you'll be buried
six feet under it.
- Who the hell are you?
- I'm the angel that's
been watching over you.
And I haven't liked what I've seen.
- Well, I like what I see.
You are beautiful.
So clean.
- But I have a dirty mind.
And all I can think about is
what I want to do to you.
- And what would that be?
- Love you.
To death.
- Say your prayers, angel.
- Black scorpion.
What a heavenly idea.
But why not make it a
prayer for the dying?
- Well, it looks to me
like he's already dead.
- I wasn't talking about him.
I was talking about you.
Now that's what I call angel dust.
- The angel of death
used her lethal lips
on the sanitation psycho last night,
but what has authorities baffled
is why she made off with
the stolen vac-pack 86x
and what she plans to do with it.
We'll take a look at...
- There's only one way
to find out.
- Breaking and entering is
a crime, black scorpion.
- So is murder.
But it doesn't seem to bother you.
- Oh, but it does.
And eventually I'll have to
face my day of reckoning.
But tonight you'll have to face yours.
- Clipped your wings on that one.
- Together we could've made
this city heaven on earth.
But you had to put your mask
where it didn't belong.
That's what I call being
touched by an angel.
- Oh my god.
You scared me to death.
- Well, that goes double for me.
In fact, you look like
death warmed over.
- It's not too far from the truth.
What are you doing here anyway?
- Hiding my lips from tender lovin'.
- Speaking of lips, why
would the angel of death
load her lipstick into the vac-pack?
- I don't know.
Maybe she wants to start
blowing her kisses.
- Idle hands are the
devil's playground.
Hm.
- The only reason the angel of death
would want to blow her kisses is if
she wanted to kill a large group of...
Oh my god, that's it.
- That's what?
- She's going after the supervillains.
- But they're all locked up.
- Which is exactly where she wants 'em.
- Yea, though I walk through the valley
of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for tonight all evil shall die.
The evil that's inside
every one of your hearts.
Behold your fate!
I am your judge.
I am your jury.
I am your executioner.
The avenging angel come
to send you all to hell.
Tonight there's going
to be hell to pay.
But not just for the six of you.
Every car thief, bank
robber, and purse snatcher
is going to suffer the same fate.
My kiss of death is set to blow
right through the air vents.
- All right, there's no
answer at pearl gate.
Do me a favor, call Steve,
have him meet me there with backup.
- Whoa, blue.
Let's think about this, shall we?
- What's to think about?
- I mean, it's not exactly like
the supervillains are innocent victims.
- Yes, I know that.
But I also know that there
are two sides to everybody.
Look, the breathtaker
was once a doctor.
Aftershock and hurricane
were scientists.
Okay, inferno, he was a fireman.
And Angela was a cop.
And I know inside each one
of them there's still good.
There has to be.
And if I let that die, I'm
no better than they are.
- Is there anything I can
do to change your mind?
- No.
I just, I can't look the other way.
- Fifty-four seconds
to eternal damnation.
- Well, that doesn't give
you much time to get out.
- Tonight all criminals must die.
And that includes the two of us.
- Not if I can help it.
- You can't.
Not even heaven can help you now.
- Then maybe it's time to
open the gates of hell.
- Police!
It's black scorpion.
Take charge, I'm gonna get her.
- All right, everybody get
back into his or her cell.
- Tell me you've got
something better than that.
- Yeah, oh god, this is not working.
Attention, black scorpion.
Remain where you are.
Police reinforcements are on the way.
Attention.
Remain where you are.
Police reinforcements are on their way.
There is no escape.
- Come in, sky one.
Any sign of black scorpion?
- Negative, mate.
No visual contact.
- This is unit 47 in
pursuit of black scorpion
heading south on 3rd street.
Request backup.
- Fire.
- How did you let black
scorpion get away this time?
- Uh, you're gonna have
to ask the cap that.
- Well, where is he?
- Uh, he's down at the
policeman's association.
- Well, what's he doing there?
- He's there getting their endorsement.
- Oh, strickland, you did that for me?
- No, I did it for me.
I'm sick and tired of
being your doormat.
So I've decided to run against you.
- Oh.
- Uh-oh.
- In fact, I've already come up
with my own campaign slogan.
Vote for strickland and
make the city worthless.
- What?
- Worthless, get it?
You know, like, no mayor worth?
- It needs work.
- Just a little.
- Well, that's what I have you two for.
As my campaign managers.
Now come on, into the office.
Let's have a strategy session.
- happy, happy.
- Joy, joy.
- Where are you going, babette?
- To sit in his lap.
- He hasn't even won yet.
- I know, but I figure
better safe than sorry.
- See?
- I was just kiddin'.
- In an ironic twist, Angela archer,
the former police
detective, also known as
the angel of death, is now an inmate
on supervillains row, where she joins
the very criminals she
so vehemently hates.
- You know, I'll never understand
what makes a good cop go bad.
- I think everyone has a dark side.
- Everyone except you.
- What are you talking about?
I have a dark side.
- Oh come on, Walker.
You might as well have
a halo over your head.
- You know, I wouldn't be too
sure about that if I were you.
I mean, for all you know I could
be the devil in disguise.
- No disguise in the world would
ever hide who you really are.
- Yeah, you're probably right.