Black Monday (2018–…): Season 2, Episode 8 - Lucky Shoes - full transcript
On election night, Blair makes a risky proposition while Mo and Dawn go on a double date. Keith makes a startling discovery.
♪ Upbeat music ♪
♪♪♪
♪ It's Showtime tonight ♪
[Man] Previously, on
"Black Monday"...
I told you.
I got you.
It's gonna be pretty hard
for me
to push through your
precious bank bailout
if I'm not a congressman.
[Connie]
Hey, Mo!
Dawn, there is so much
I wanna learn about you.
Double date!
This has nothing to do
with Dawn.
[Connie] Why is she meeting
with the AASF?
Are those Skants?
Skirt on the outside,
pants on the underside.
I have pallets and pallets.
They're all that's left
of my family business.
You know business isn't just
for the guys anymore.
♪ All hail the power
of Jesus' name ♪
♪ Let angels, prostrate,
fall ♪
[ecclesiastical organ music
playing]
My family has always
been close.
I credit our long walks
to church every Sunday
since I was a girl.
But walking that far
in a skirt
had my thighs chafing like
two blocks of parmesan.
[audience laughs]
Am I right?
And so one day,
during a rebellious phase,
- I wore pants.
- [audience gasps]
I know.
I know.
[whispers]
But it felt great.
Of course, not in my soul.
In my soul, I felt great shame.
But out of that shame came
what I call an e-Tiffany.
Combining conservative comfort
with sinless style.
They're practical
and patriarchal.
Fundamentalist,
yet fun for your fundament.
- Ooh!
- [women giggle]
They're Skants by Pfaffashions.
Half pants, half skirt,
double discretion.
Finally, you can be
an independent modern woman
and no one will ever
have to know!
[Cheers and applause]
But don't just take
my word for it.
There she is!
♪ Choir music ♪
♪♪♪
Now, when my father,
Pastor Newell Swafford,
our shepherd in the sky...
[Tiff] Praise be.
...got a look at me
in these Skants,
he quoth the Lord:
"She is clothed
in strength and dignity,"
Proverbs 31:25.
[Audience]
Amen!
And now you can be too.
- Ye phone lines are open!
- Yes, yes, yes, yes!
Call and order.
We're ready for ya.
Get 'em stonewashed
in holy water.
Or acid-washed in what
Hollyweird calls acid rain,
but is really just
the good Lord's tears.
And I'll tell ya, Corkie,
they cut quite a silhouette.
Forgive me, Father,
for I have thinned!
[audience laughs]
Now do we have
any moms out there?
[cheers and applause]
Good.
Yay!
So from praying
to oven scrubbing
to submitting to your husband,
we've got your kneeling
needs covered.
[audience gasps, cheers]
[cheers and applause]
'Cause Skants are made
by moms for moms.
Can I get a mom-men?
[audience]
Mom-men!
- [Corkie laughs]
- I can't hear you!
Can I get a mom-men?
[audience]
Mom-men!
Hey Tiff,
we got a question.
Hi, Mrs. Pfaff!
I love these Skants.
Speak your truth.
But were you able to wear them
when you were with child?
Yes, abs... absolutely, I was.
And you know what?
Mazel tov to you with this!
I mean, not mazel tov.
Halla-lu-yur.
How many children do you have?
Well, you know what?
We can never have enough,
am I right?
And if you act now,
we'll even throw in a belt...
Bible or chastity.
Does that mean you only have
four or five?
What?
So she said, "Does that mean
you only have four
or five children?"
Um, you know what?
I believe
we're all God's children.
"Teach them well
and how to fish,
and they will learn
how to kill fish forever,"
Adverbs 36:24:36.
- I don't recognize that verse.
- It's a new one.
I mean, you just said
that Skants were made
for moms by moms...
Yes, they... they are made
by moms in Bangladesh
or Honduras or wherever.
You know,
I don't fucking know.
[audience gasps]
I wish you hadn't used
that language.
[muffled]
I don't have any kids, Corkie.
I'm still on birth control.
- [audience gasps]
- Okay.
[Muffled] Corkie, no.
Corkie, no!
- Please!
- [Tiff] Corkie, please.
- Gimme another chance, Corkie.
- I'm so sorry.
♪ All hail
the power of Jesus ♪
Nope, nope, nope.
We've gotta get this down now.
[Tiff]
♪ The power of Jesus ♪
Let me sing it!
Corkie!
♪ Funky music ♪
"BLACK MONEY"
Season 02 Episode 08
Oh, finally got you
on that date.
- [Dawn laughs] Yup.
- Reminds me of old times.
Still don't know why
you came back, Momo,
but I am glad you did.
I still have a lot of love
for you.
Oh.
I love...
Which is why it's so important
for me that...
you like Marcus.
You're my best friend, Momo.
And-and he's
a really good guy.
Yeah, well,
I'm not gonna like Marcus.
And I don't want you
to like Dede, like, at all.
Wait, but she's our client.
Yeah, so is Marcus.
But what does that have
to even... oh!
- Hey
- Hello.
Sorry I'm late.
Had to vote.
Every vote counts.
[laughs loudly]
So true!
- Why is that funny?
- Oh, the electoral college.
Gerrymandering.
Gerrymandering.
How white people
be fucking over black people..
- [Dawn] Everything.
- When they try to vote.
- Got it.
- [Mo] Yeah.
But I do like Bush,
so tic that box on the reg.
- Check!
- [laughter]
I am so glad
we can make this happen.
- Well, you were so insistent.
- Yes.
So we can get to know each
other better, right, Dawn?
- Yes, yes.
- So tell me everything, girl.
Okay, why don't we, uh, order,
you know?
Let me get
the waiter over here.
Well, no, no.
That-that's the beauty
of this place.
Omakase.
No decisions.
You just roll with it.
These next three hours
are gonna blow your mind.
- Three hours?
- [Dawn] Wow.
- That sounds like a threat.
- [laughter]
So Dawn,
Mo told me that you two were
together on Black Monday.
- Yes
- [Connie] What was that like?
Uh, you wanna know the real?
- I wanna know.
- [Mo] Well, I...
- Okay...
- I don't vote.
I can't.
I'm a felon.
[Marcus] Oh, wow.
Sorry to hear that.
A lot of brothers
in that same boat.
- What happened?
- Oh, my God.
- That's such a long story.
- [Dawn] Mm-hmm.
So Dawn,
back to Black Monday...
The year was 1968.
Hair was long...
under women's arms,
and a Broadway hit.
- [chuckles]
- ♪ inspiring music ♪
I was just a young idealist
who was tired
of Uncle Sam and Uncle Toms.
- [Dawn] Yes.
- [laughs] Yeah.
So I joined the Black Panthers.
- Really?
- Really?
Really? [chuckles]
Really.
- [exhales]
- [Blair] Wow!
This place turned out...
- [Both] Perfect!
- [Tiff squeals]
I can't believe
this used to be
your parent's stuffy shithole!
I know!
And it's gonna be
photographed tomorrow
for a big spread in
Penthouses Magazine.
We're gonna be the
Penthouses Pad of the Month!
- Rad!
- Right?
Oh, this place is great!
Oh, I'm so glad you like it.
I mean, it could do with
just one tiny addition.
What?
We just finished renovating.
What could we possibly need?
A nursery?
Unless you mean for plants,
the answer is,
"Fuck no.
Are you crazy?"
And that kind of works
for plants.
Blair, I want a baby.
The next words
out of your mouth
better be "grand piano,"
"bird,"
or 'I Love Your Way'
cassingle."
I'll do all the work
of hiring all the people
to do all the work.
You will not need to do
a thing except...
And I've even taken the liberty
of setting up bathroom four
with some lotion
and the new Richard Gere GQ.
- Mmm!
- Hmm.
No, Tiff, we're not raising
a baby together.
I know firsthand how a bad
parent can fuck up a good kid.
- No, no, no, no.
- Blair!
Ah!
You don't get to say no to me!
Okay, you have hijacked
my name and my life
and my identity.
I was Tiff Georgina,
and now I'm just some mom-abee
hawking Skants
to a bunch of
Bible breeding bitches
on a channel in the teens!
It's not great, Blair,
but I'll take it.
And you don't get
to take it from me.
And unlike you,
I don't get to have a beard.
Unless I go off
my spironolactone.
- Is this really what you want?
- Yes.
Yes, yes!
But my clock's a-tickin',
so you've got to get
your Richard in gear,
so to speak.
A little dollop'll do ya?
Little squirtages?
Okay, okay.
What if we do a test run first?
Yes.
I know this hotshot
who's coming to
the election party tonight,
and he's got three kids.
So why don't you stay home
and offer to babysit
and see how it goes.
Afterwards,
if this is still what you want,
I'm on board.
Yes!
Oh, it's a deal!
It's a deal!
It's a deal, Daddy.
[baby-talking] And here's
our little baby boo-boo.
Okay, well,
don't infantilize the cup...
- [smooching]
- ...'cause I have to...
- Uh-oh. Baby's hungry.
- ...use it.
[Indistinct chatter]
I think I see
my campaign fund manager,
if you'll excuse me.
I've been calling you!
Oh, yeah?
You miss me?
Not as much as you missed
our media buy targets.
It's too close to call with
85% of districts reporting.
We lost Chateauguay, Blair,
where I supposedly live.
Okay, well,
the only château gay I know
is a boy-lesque house
in the West Village,
where we're gonna celebrate
later tonight when you win.
It's upstate,
but you'd know that
if you spent a little more time
and money on my campaign.
Well, look at that.
We just lost Schenectady.
This is on you, Blair.
- I swear to God, if I lose...
- We can't lose.
We're wearing our lucky shoes.
Are you kidding me?
Don't try to ruin my life
any more than you already have.
There are cameras everywhere.
My kids are here.
Of course my wife is not
because I think she's onto us,
but at least the big guy
in the sky could make it.
- God?
- [Harris] No.
My fucking evil father-in-law.
Speak of the devil.
Dad!
Glad you could make it.
Looks like you won't.
What, couldn't get
the Chateaugays to come out?
You never should've
forsaken me, my child.
That was an exit line, boys!
Let's go!
Move it!
♪ Dramatic music ♪
Okay.
Roger, don't let him
get into your head.
Don't touch me.
♪ Dark music ♪
♪♪♪
Welcome to my home.
Won't you please come in,
you little darlings.
Hello.
Uh, señora,
feel free to help yourself
to any food in the Help fridge,
and, um, please don't let
the children touch anything.
Big photo shoot tomorrow.
And if you need me,
I'll just be mommin' around
in my bubble bath.
[In thick accent]
Señora, I can't stay.
I have to vote.
With that accent?
Oh, they're not gonna let...
[Without accent]
[Lal had you there for a minute,
didn't I, puta madre?
Okay, you're a cutup.
Seriously, though, I gotta go
take care of my own kids.
Fine.
I guess I'll just
puta them on the couch,
and I'll madre.
♪ Funky music ♪
Kids,
what are we drinking?
♪♪♪
[Mo] People remember the guns,
but they don't remember
the fun.
I joined the Panthers
to serve kids breakfast,
you know,
do the whole book drive thing.
And then I met her,
and what happened next
not only changed my life,
but it changed
the course of history forever.
Well, that seems like
a natural stopping point.
Are you crazy?
Go on, Mo.
Yeah, please.
Come on, Momo.
♪♪♪
[no audible dialogue]
[Mo] Even though I didn't know
that bitch was FBI
when she said, "I got you."
[Dawn]
Mmm!
There was something about it
that was just...
It was eating at me.
Mm, kind of like how
I was just eating the hell
out of that miso black cod.
That kind of reminds me
of Black Monday.
- Dawn...
- Uh, one second.
- Ugh, that evil bitch.
- Oh, the worst.
♪♪♪
[no audible dialogue]
♪♪♪
Sorry, y'all.
I kind of feel like I've been
talking this whole time.
I agree.
Come on, now.
You gotta finish.
Yeah, please, please.
More.
[Mo]
Okay.
♪♪♪
You know, so there I am,
24-year old kid.
I'm standing in front
of this federal judge, right?
- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
- And he's looking at me,
just licking his chops,
and that motherfucker
gave me eight years
while that bitch just laughed.
- Wow. That's a fuckin' story.
- [Mo] Yeah.
What happened
to that bitch agent?
Okay, I think we're throwing
the B-word around
a little liberally.
[Mo] Well, sometimes
that word applies.
Yeah, the bitch sounds like
a bitch to me. [laughs]
Yeah.
Well, I never saw the bitch
again, but, I don't know,
it just feels like she's always
with me somehow, you know?
- Mm-hmm.
- [Marcus] Bitches do that.
Mm-hmm.
Wow, Momo.
Yeah, bet you're thinking about
my tragic tale of woe, huh?
Mm-mm, I was actually thinking,
"How old is this nigga?"
That's fair.
- So anyway, Dawn...
- I was a Panther too.
Get the fuck out of here.
- No.
- Oakland.
Those co-intel pro-FBI
undercover motherfuckers...
- [Dawn] Mm!
- Erased a whole future
of strong black men leading.
[Dawn] Mm-hmm.
That's why I got
into the AASF: to give it back.
- [Dawn] Mm-hmm.
- Power to the people.
- Come on, now.
- Power to the people, brother.
You know, black women created
the Panthers
to address the concerns
of the community
before the men took it over
and turned a nonviolent school
food program into an army.
Mm.
Just another institution
hijacked by male ego.
And I know you can relate
to that, Dawn, 'cause, I mean,
- you spent some time...
- Oh, ooh, ooh!
- I got another story.
- [Connie] No, no, no, no.
You've had your fill, buster.
Wait, wait, wait.
You're with the FBI?
[both]
What?
Nobody else hears it?
'Cause to me, it sounds like
you with the bitch
from the FBI.
- [Mo and Marcus murmur]
- You know? [laughs]
You're okay w-with-with her
trying to set up Mo
and all those other
strong, intelligent black...
- Kings.
- Kings. Kings!
You are kind of
coming off like that.
- [Marcus] Shit.
- Mm-hmm.
All I'm saying is
if we want civil rights,
we have to be civil.
So I'm sure that agent
had her reasons.
[laughter]
What the fuck
are you talking about?
[Dawn] Bitch, you sound crazy!
This bitch sounds out
of her mind!
[Connie laughs sarcastically]
All right. All right.
[Dawn] Oh, my God!
Where the sake, baby?
...caucus headquarters
a bit less joyous tonight.
And now I'm hearing
that they're tallying
the final vote
in the contentious
neck-and-neck race
for Roger Harris's seat
in congress, and... yup.
Yes, it sounds like
they're prepared to call.
They're calling it right now.
The winner is
Congressman Roger Harris.
[cheers and applause]
♪ Upbeat music ♪
[all] Speech! Speech!
Go give the people
what they want.
♪♪♪
I want to thank the great
people of New York!
[Cheering]
Listen, uh, Blair.
I learned a lot of information
at that Halloween party
and tonight
they could fuck up everything
for everyone, but...
Oh, big surprise.
Keith's a rat again.
I was going to say,
"But I don't know
if I should use it."
You know, maybe I could
tell you what I know,
- and you could...
- What, confirm it for you?
How convenient.
Whoa, Jesus!
Whoa, whoa!
You got the wrong idea.
Please,
I was looking for a wire.
Like the one you wore
to my wedding.
What do you want?
I'm having a weird night, man.
I wanna help you, okay?
'Cause I was you.
And this doesn't end well.
Let's be friends.
Can you imagine how powerful
two guys like us
could be together?
I'm not your friend.
I'm not like you,
and I don't like you.
♪ Tense music ♪
Your funeral.
And I'd like to thank,
most of all,
my wife at home.
I love you, Mother.
And then the princess embarked
on her greatest adventure:
going a size down.
Can I play with your makeup?
Oh, sweetie,
I think you're a little young.
Daddy says
it makes me look hot.
You mean cute?
No.
[slowly] Okay.
You know what?
Um, why don't
we just play house?
Okay, how about you be the dad,
you be the mom...
And you be the mistress!
- Hey!
- [children laugh]
[boy] You liked it.
[Harris]
So glad we stayed
all the way to the bitter end,
huh?
Oh, yes.
Absolutely.
[photographer]
Say cheese!
- [all] Cheese!
- [Harris laughs]
[Harris]
Thank you, again, so much.
All right, good night.
Congratulations, Congressman.
I'm sorry I got
a little bitchy.
I was just nervous.
I couldn't have done this
without you.
No one got behind me
the way you did.
Maybe it's time
I got behind you.
[chuckles]
Well,
cute double entendres aside,
how quickly do you think
you can get behind
this bank bailout?
Immediately.
After I solidify my standing
and another term
seems in the bag,
I will slip it right in.
Wait, another term?
We can't wait that long.
Are you being serious
right now?
Blair,
pushing through a bailout
and benefitting
my campaign finance chair
right after the election?
Well,
that's just not gonna happen.
Big B, the whole reason
that I wanted to get away
from Newell
was so that I could start doing
things that I believe in:
helping the hardworking people
of America.
Fuck them.
Excuse me?
You heard me.
Fuck them.
You owe me.
We had a deal.
Okay.
This is a good night.
Let's not ruin it.
The limos are waiting.
Maybe we should ride
separately...
for the optics.
♪ Dark music ♪
I have a tape.
Remember Halloween?
I had the security cameras
recording
in 12.7 millimeter
VHS resolution.
How 'bout those optics?
What did you do?
Nothing.
Yet.
I am so sick
of this relationship being
on your terms.
You call when you want.
You disappear.
You snap at me.
You use me.
Sponsor the bailout
and no one has to see
you go down.
You're on the tape too.
It's mutually assured
destruction.
Try me.
First you try to bribe me.
Then you try to buy me.
Now you try to blackmail me?
I don't know who you are.
[scoffs]
I don't know
if I ever knew you.
Who are you, Blair?
♪ Sorrowful music ♪
♪♪♪
Excuse me.
Uh... uh, boys?
Pastor Swafford,
I have something
I think you're gonna wanna see.
[Keith] Larry!
You're never gonna believe
what I got on Blair
and that congressman.
Oof.
[distant groan]
- Hello?
- [glass clinks]
Larry?
Larry?
♪ Dark music ♪
[man groans]
Oh, my God.
Larry, are-are you okay?
Oh.
Hey, Keith.
It's me...
[grunts]
...Lenny!
No, no, no.
Lenny is dead.
Dead?
[laughs]
Oh, far from it, Keith.
You see, when that old man
fell on top of that car,
uh, my spine was shattered
to dust.
[pants]
I had so many transfusions
that the nurses would joke
that my blood type... [inhales]
...was "O-shit."
I was the lucky recipient
of the first ever ribcage
transplanted from an animal,
which never would've
been possible
without the help
of Dr. Bananas!
Mm, the brave
silverback gorilla
who gave her life
so I can breathe...
very-very painfully, hmm.
Wow.
Um... that... that sucks.
- I'm sorry about that.
- Yeah.
Um, is-is Larry around?
Are you fucking serious?
I have gone
through 37 surgeries.
I am part RoboCop, part...
[inhales] ...Donkey Kong.
And you have no follow-ups?
Uh, okay.
Uh...
how are you?
What have you been up to?
Well, you know.
Hiding in the shadows,
plotting, scheming,
doing PT.
Lots of... lots of PT
until I am ready
to reclaim my seat
as the rightful head
of the Leighman Brothers!
[laughs shortly]
[coughing violently]
Uh, okay.
All right.
So just tell Larry
that I-I dropped by,
and I'm gonna get out of here.
Wait!
Wait right there!
[pants] What were you
just talking about...
in there, about Blair
and the congressman?
Because there is something
very off about those two.
Keith, do you know
what I'm talking about?
No.
Yeah, I-I, uh...
- I don't.
- [scoffs]
I don't think I believe you.
Keith, I still think
you're protecting people
who don't give a soft shit
about you.
So pick a side, Keith.
Ours or prison.
Wait, what?
No, no.
That was never part
of the deal.
Larry and I are friends.
He needs me.
We're bringing
the Leighman Brothers
into the '90s.
He lied to you!
You are not needed, Keith,
because you are nobody.
You are nothing.
- Fuck you.
- [Lenny] Fuck you!
I want my revenge!
Or you go back to jail, Keith!
I want my revenge!
♪ Tense music ♪
Oh!
All r... I-I've seen enough.
Avert mine eyes, boys!
Disgusting.
[Blair] Could be
quite a scandal for you
if this tape got out.
Wonder what
your flock would think?
Or your daughter?
I imagine enrollment in your
conversion therapy program,
the Newell School
for Gayward Children,
might drop,
but it doesn't have to.
You're a man of influence.
Call the governor and all
your other powerful friends,
or I'm gonna call every
newspaper I know.
[Newell] You'd really
do that to Roger?
My mother used to say,
"In life,
when something breaks,
you can't always
put it back together,
but you can use the pieces
to move forward."
Your son-in-law broke
his bank bailout deal with me.
I'm just using the pieces.
Your bank bailout
for the video?
Exactly.
Nothing personal.
Just quid pro quo.
Done.
Give the tape to Gregory,
the dirty blond.
We're bankrupt?
Again?
Shut your pierogi hole!
You're just my sex Slav.
[laughs] Do Christmas!
[in thick Slavic accent]
McDonald's on Christmas?
It's tradition!
- [ashtray shatters]
- Whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay.
Okay, time-out. Time out.
- Now, let's not throw things.
- ♪ rock music ♪
Oh, no, no, no, no.
You wouldn't dare.
- [laughs]
- Put that down.
- Put that down.
- ♪ Kick it! ♪
Oh! Oh, you are
in so much trouble!
No.
This is unacceptable!
♪ Man, you don't wanna go ♪
[Tiff] Don't you dare
throw that!
- [boy shrieks gleefully]
- [Tiff] Oh, my God!
- No!
- ♪ You ask your mom please ♪
- ♪ But she still says no ♪
- No one can see that!
♪♪♪
Oh, my God!
♪ You gotta fight ♪
♪♪♪
- ♪ For your right ♪
- You know what you need?
♪ To party ♪
Ooh, you nasty woman.
[kids laughing]
- [chomp]
- Ow!
You little fucker!
Ow!
- You little piece of shit!
- Try anything!
Ow!
[kids cackle]
♪♪♪
[demonically] Come to Mama.
♪ Party ♪
♪♪♪
[doorbell rings]
Junior,
Eric, Ivanka,
time to go.
Where are your manners?
[Huffs]
- Where did she come from?
- She's a comedian.
- That shit's just funny.
- [laughter]
It don't make no sense to me!
He was plotting
against the governor.
Entrapment!
The government plotted
against him!
- They made him do it.
- Hey, Mo?
What is he doing here?
Hey, Mo,
can you come talk to me?
Keith, we're in the middle of
fucking dinner right now, okay?
Yeah, but I'm also
in the middle
of fucking something right now
too, so...
I really need a friend.
I'm not your fucking friend,
Keith.
Come on.
You wanna talk to somebody?
Go dial a 1-900 number
or something.
We're doing some black shit
right now.
Do you mind?
Fuck off.
All right.
- Fuck you.
- Fuck you.
- Oh, God. Guys, guys.
- [Keith] Fuck you.
[Mo] Keith,
you're interrupting.
- Fuck you!
- [Mo] Fuck you, Keith!
You're drunk.
What are you doing here?
At least I don't work
for the FBI.
Oh, yeah.
You did-didn't know that?
- [Marcus] Excuse me?
- Yeah, yeah, no.
- This is a little rat.
- Okay, look.
- Let-let's talk outside.
- No.
Talking's over now.
Let me tell you a little story
about this guy, Mo Monroe,
or whatever
the fuck his name is.
He was the guy behind
that whole Amerisavings
shootout shit
just, you know,
to fuck you over.
He wanted to take down TBD,
you know?
And then the FBI...
Yeah, oh,
she's undercover right now.
Great job.
I love the outfit.
She busted him and turned him.
[Laughs]
This is fucking bullshit.
Why would you... why would you
say all that, Keith?
Oh, uh, I wonder why?
'Cause you fucking
put me in jail.
- [Marcus] What's happening?
- [Dawn] I don't know.
I-I-I mean,
I wouldn't trust what he says.
Oh, you don't trust me?
Why should he trust you?
You're the one trying
to fuck over the AASF fund.
You are?
[Mo] Oh, shit.
But look, I'm no better.
I'm working
with Larry Leighman.
Guess you didn't know that.
I'm the one
who leaked the yen trade.
But I'm done.
I'm fucking out!
I don't wanna do this anymore.
For the last week,
I've been trying to figure out,
"Whose side am I on?"
And I just realized right now,
tonight,
I'm on my side.
I wanna be happy, okay?
I wanna be free of all of this.
So in the immortal words
of you,
"Fuck 'em all."
[clapping slowly]
Wow.
You know, he's right.
Fuck all of y'all.
And to answer your question,
Dawn, I am with the FBI, bitch.
And I'm ruthless,
just like you're gonna be
when your mom, Ruth,
is too ashamed
to visit you in jail
so you see a lot less of her.
That's a long way to go
just to get a dig in.
It was a stretch,
but the point is,
you're all going down.
No, no, no, you said you were
gonna leave Dawn out of it.
Look,
ain't nobody being left out
of shit anymore, Mo, okay?
Including you
and Larry Leighman, Keith.
Thanks for that, uh,
heads-up on your insider trade.
I'm coming for all of y'all.
So good luck sleeping,
'cause the next knock you hear
could be me.
[Knocks on table]
Power to the people,
motherfuckers!
Marcus.
Marcus.
Great job, Keith.
Well, all I wanted
to do was talk.
You motherfucker.
Babe, I had the worst night.
E...
Oh, my God.
What the fuck?
What happened?
I...
will never...
have...
kids.
Oh, no.
Babe.
Dang it.
I was really starting to
come around to the whole thing.
In better news,
I got the bailout.
It's a lot tougher than
I thought it was gonna be.
Blair, what the fuck?
...out of the 13th District,
sex scandal rocks
the political world today
when a VHS tape was
released...
[Blair] What the?
Newell released the tape?
...showing the newly elected
congressman
from the 13th district
in scandalous behavior.
Of course, neither he
nor his campaign headquarters
have commented.
[Line trilling]
Please pick up. Please pick up.
Please pick up. Please pick...
[Harris]
Please leave a message.
- Fuck!
- [Harris] ...after the tone.
Roger?
This wasn't me.
I-I-I-I did not do this,
and I am so fucking sorry.
Please pick up.
Please!
Fuck!
...involved in
scandalous behavior
with his finance
campaign chair.
♪ Discordant music ♪
♪♪♪
Roger?
Uh, uh, Congressman Harris?
It's Blair Pfaff.
[Chuckles nervously]
♪♪♪
♪♪♪
♪ Melancholy
orchestral music ♪
♪♪♪
♪♪
♪♪♪
♪ It's Showtime tonight ♪
[Man] Previously, on
"Black Monday"...
I told you.
I got you.
It's gonna be pretty hard
for me
to push through your
precious bank bailout
if I'm not a congressman.
[Connie]
Hey, Mo!
Dawn, there is so much
I wanna learn about you.
Double date!
This has nothing to do
with Dawn.
[Connie] Why is she meeting
with the AASF?
Are those Skants?
Skirt on the outside,
pants on the underside.
I have pallets and pallets.
They're all that's left
of my family business.
You know business isn't just
for the guys anymore.
♪ All hail the power
of Jesus' name ♪
♪ Let angels, prostrate,
fall ♪
[ecclesiastical organ music
playing]
My family has always
been close.
I credit our long walks
to church every Sunday
since I was a girl.
But walking that far
in a skirt
had my thighs chafing like
two blocks of parmesan.
[audience laughs]
Am I right?
And so one day,
during a rebellious phase,
- I wore pants.
- [audience gasps]
I know.
I know.
[whispers]
But it felt great.
Of course, not in my soul.
In my soul, I felt great shame.
But out of that shame came
what I call an e-Tiffany.
Combining conservative comfort
with sinless style.
They're practical
and patriarchal.
Fundamentalist,
yet fun for your fundament.
- Ooh!
- [women giggle]
They're Skants by Pfaffashions.
Half pants, half skirt,
double discretion.
Finally, you can be
an independent modern woman
and no one will ever
have to know!
[Cheers and applause]
But don't just take
my word for it.
There she is!
♪ Choir music ♪
♪♪♪
Now, when my father,
Pastor Newell Swafford,
our shepherd in the sky...
[Tiff] Praise be.
...got a look at me
in these Skants,
he quoth the Lord:
"She is clothed
in strength and dignity,"
Proverbs 31:25.
[Audience]
Amen!
And now you can be too.
- Ye phone lines are open!
- Yes, yes, yes, yes!
Call and order.
We're ready for ya.
Get 'em stonewashed
in holy water.
Or acid-washed in what
Hollyweird calls acid rain,
but is really just
the good Lord's tears.
And I'll tell ya, Corkie,
they cut quite a silhouette.
Forgive me, Father,
for I have thinned!
[audience laughs]
Now do we have
any moms out there?
[cheers and applause]
Good.
Yay!
So from praying
to oven scrubbing
to submitting to your husband,
we've got your kneeling
needs covered.
[audience gasps, cheers]
[cheers and applause]
'Cause Skants are made
by moms for moms.
Can I get a mom-men?
[audience]
Mom-men!
- [Corkie laughs]
- I can't hear you!
Can I get a mom-men?
[audience]
Mom-men!
Hey Tiff,
we got a question.
Hi, Mrs. Pfaff!
I love these Skants.
Speak your truth.
But were you able to wear them
when you were with child?
Yes, abs... absolutely, I was.
And you know what?
Mazel tov to you with this!
I mean, not mazel tov.
Halla-lu-yur.
How many children do you have?
Well, you know what?
We can never have enough,
am I right?
And if you act now,
we'll even throw in a belt...
Bible or chastity.
Does that mean you only have
four or five?
What?
So she said, "Does that mean
you only have four
or five children?"
Um, you know what?
I believe
we're all God's children.
"Teach them well
and how to fish,
and they will learn
how to kill fish forever,"
Adverbs 36:24:36.
- I don't recognize that verse.
- It's a new one.
I mean, you just said
that Skants were made
for moms by moms...
Yes, they... they are made
by moms in Bangladesh
or Honduras or wherever.
You know,
I don't fucking know.
[audience gasps]
I wish you hadn't used
that language.
[muffled]
I don't have any kids, Corkie.
I'm still on birth control.
- [audience gasps]
- Okay.
[Muffled] Corkie, no.
Corkie, no!
- Please!
- [Tiff] Corkie, please.
- Gimme another chance, Corkie.
- I'm so sorry.
♪ All hail
the power of Jesus ♪
Nope, nope, nope.
We've gotta get this down now.
[Tiff]
♪ The power of Jesus ♪
Let me sing it!
Corkie!
♪ Funky music ♪
"BLACK MONEY"
Season 02 Episode 08
Oh, finally got you
on that date.
- [Dawn laughs] Yup.
- Reminds me of old times.
Still don't know why
you came back, Momo,
but I am glad you did.
I still have a lot of love
for you.
Oh.
I love...
Which is why it's so important
for me that...
you like Marcus.
You're my best friend, Momo.
And-and he's
a really good guy.
Yeah, well,
I'm not gonna like Marcus.
And I don't want you
to like Dede, like, at all.
Wait, but she's our client.
Yeah, so is Marcus.
But what does that have
to even... oh!
- Hey
- Hello.
Sorry I'm late.
Had to vote.
Every vote counts.
[laughs loudly]
So true!
- Why is that funny?
- Oh, the electoral college.
Gerrymandering.
Gerrymandering.
How white people
be fucking over black people..
- [Dawn] Everything.
- When they try to vote.
- Got it.
- [Mo] Yeah.
But I do like Bush,
so tic that box on the reg.
- Check!
- [laughter]
I am so glad
we can make this happen.
- Well, you were so insistent.
- Yes.
So we can get to know each
other better, right, Dawn?
- Yes, yes.
- So tell me everything, girl.
Okay, why don't we, uh, order,
you know?
Let me get
the waiter over here.
Well, no, no.
That-that's the beauty
of this place.
Omakase.
No decisions.
You just roll with it.
These next three hours
are gonna blow your mind.
- Three hours?
- [Dawn] Wow.
- That sounds like a threat.
- [laughter]
So Dawn,
Mo told me that you two were
together on Black Monday.
- Yes
- [Connie] What was that like?
Uh, you wanna know the real?
- I wanna know.
- [Mo] Well, I...
- Okay...
- I don't vote.
I can't.
I'm a felon.
[Marcus] Oh, wow.
Sorry to hear that.
A lot of brothers
in that same boat.
- What happened?
- Oh, my God.
- That's such a long story.
- [Dawn] Mm-hmm.
So Dawn,
back to Black Monday...
The year was 1968.
Hair was long...
under women's arms,
and a Broadway hit.
- [chuckles]
- ♪ inspiring music ♪
I was just a young idealist
who was tired
of Uncle Sam and Uncle Toms.
- [Dawn] Yes.
- [laughs] Yeah.
So I joined the Black Panthers.
- Really?
- Really?
Really? [chuckles]
Really.
- [exhales]
- [Blair] Wow!
This place turned out...
- [Both] Perfect!
- [Tiff squeals]
I can't believe
this used to be
your parent's stuffy shithole!
I know!
And it's gonna be
photographed tomorrow
for a big spread in
Penthouses Magazine.
We're gonna be the
Penthouses Pad of the Month!
- Rad!
- Right?
Oh, this place is great!
Oh, I'm so glad you like it.
I mean, it could do with
just one tiny addition.
What?
We just finished renovating.
What could we possibly need?
A nursery?
Unless you mean for plants,
the answer is,
"Fuck no.
Are you crazy?"
And that kind of works
for plants.
Blair, I want a baby.
The next words
out of your mouth
better be "grand piano,"
"bird,"
or 'I Love Your Way'
cassingle."
I'll do all the work
of hiring all the people
to do all the work.
You will not need to do
a thing except...
And I've even taken the liberty
of setting up bathroom four
with some lotion
and the new Richard Gere GQ.
- Mmm!
- Hmm.
No, Tiff, we're not raising
a baby together.
I know firsthand how a bad
parent can fuck up a good kid.
- No, no, no, no.
- Blair!
Ah!
You don't get to say no to me!
Okay, you have hijacked
my name and my life
and my identity.
I was Tiff Georgina,
and now I'm just some mom-abee
hawking Skants
to a bunch of
Bible breeding bitches
on a channel in the teens!
It's not great, Blair,
but I'll take it.
And you don't get
to take it from me.
And unlike you,
I don't get to have a beard.
Unless I go off
my spironolactone.
- Is this really what you want?
- Yes.
Yes, yes!
But my clock's a-tickin',
so you've got to get
your Richard in gear,
so to speak.
A little dollop'll do ya?
Little squirtages?
Okay, okay.
What if we do a test run first?
Yes.
I know this hotshot
who's coming to
the election party tonight,
and he's got three kids.
So why don't you stay home
and offer to babysit
and see how it goes.
Afterwards,
if this is still what you want,
I'm on board.
Yes!
Oh, it's a deal!
It's a deal!
It's a deal, Daddy.
[baby-talking] And here's
our little baby boo-boo.
Okay, well,
don't infantilize the cup...
- [smooching]
- ...'cause I have to...
- Uh-oh. Baby's hungry.
- ...use it.
[Indistinct chatter]
I think I see
my campaign fund manager,
if you'll excuse me.
I've been calling you!
Oh, yeah?
You miss me?
Not as much as you missed
our media buy targets.
It's too close to call with
85% of districts reporting.
We lost Chateauguay, Blair,
where I supposedly live.
Okay, well,
the only château gay I know
is a boy-lesque house
in the West Village,
where we're gonna celebrate
later tonight when you win.
It's upstate,
but you'd know that
if you spent a little more time
and money on my campaign.
Well, look at that.
We just lost Schenectady.
This is on you, Blair.
- I swear to God, if I lose...
- We can't lose.
We're wearing our lucky shoes.
Are you kidding me?
Don't try to ruin my life
any more than you already have.
There are cameras everywhere.
My kids are here.
Of course my wife is not
because I think she's onto us,
but at least the big guy
in the sky could make it.
- God?
- [Harris] No.
My fucking evil father-in-law.
Speak of the devil.
Dad!
Glad you could make it.
Looks like you won't.
What, couldn't get
the Chateaugays to come out?
You never should've
forsaken me, my child.
That was an exit line, boys!
Let's go!
Move it!
♪ Dramatic music ♪
Okay.
Roger, don't let him
get into your head.
Don't touch me.
♪ Dark music ♪
♪♪♪
Welcome to my home.
Won't you please come in,
you little darlings.
Hello.
Uh, señora,
feel free to help yourself
to any food in the Help fridge,
and, um, please don't let
the children touch anything.
Big photo shoot tomorrow.
And if you need me,
I'll just be mommin' around
in my bubble bath.
[In thick accent]
Señora, I can't stay.
I have to vote.
With that accent?
Oh, they're not gonna let...
[Without accent]
[Lal had you there for a minute,
didn't I, puta madre?
Okay, you're a cutup.
Seriously, though, I gotta go
take care of my own kids.
Fine.
I guess I'll just
puta them on the couch,
and I'll madre.
♪ Funky music ♪
Kids,
what are we drinking?
♪♪♪
[Mo] People remember the guns,
but they don't remember
the fun.
I joined the Panthers
to serve kids breakfast,
you know,
do the whole book drive thing.
And then I met her,
and what happened next
not only changed my life,
but it changed
the course of history forever.
Well, that seems like
a natural stopping point.
Are you crazy?
Go on, Mo.
Yeah, please.
Come on, Momo.
♪♪♪
[no audible dialogue]
[Mo] Even though I didn't know
that bitch was FBI
when she said, "I got you."
[Dawn]
Mmm!
There was something about it
that was just...
It was eating at me.
Mm, kind of like how
I was just eating the hell
out of that miso black cod.
That kind of reminds me
of Black Monday.
- Dawn...
- Uh, one second.
- Ugh, that evil bitch.
- Oh, the worst.
♪♪♪
[no audible dialogue]
♪♪♪
Sorry, y'all.
I kind of feel like I've been
talking this whole time.
I agree.
Come on, now.
You gotta finish.
Yeah, please, please.
More.
[Mo]
Okay.
♪♪♪
You know, so there I am,
24-year old kid.
I'm standing in front
of this federal judge, right?
- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
- And he's looking at me,
just licking his chops,
and that motherfucker
gave me eight years
while that bitch just laughed.
- Wow. That's a fuckin' story.
- [Mo] Yeah.
What happened
to that bitch agent?
Okay, I think we're throwing
the B-word around
a little liberally.
[Mo] Well, sometimes
that word applies.
Yeah, the bitch sounds like
a bitch to me. [laughs]
Yeah.
Well, I never saw the bitch
again, but, I don't know,
it just feels like she's always
with me somehow, you know?
- Mm-hmm.
- [Marcus] Bitches do that.
Mm-hmm.
Wow, Momo.
Yeah, bet you're thinking about
my tragic tale of woe, huh?
Mm-mm, I was actually thinking,
"How old is this nigga?"
That's fair.
- So anyway, Dawn...
- I was a Panther too.
Get the fuck out of here.
- No.
- Oakland.
Those co-intel pro-FBI
undercover motherfuckers...
- [Dawn] Mm!
- Erased a whole future
of strong black men leading.
[Dawn] Mm-hmm.
That's why I got
into the AASF: to give it back.
- [Dawn] Mm-hmm.
- Power to the people.
- Come on, now.
- Power to the people, brother.
You know, black women created
the Panthers
to address the concerns
of the community
before the men took it over
and turned a nonviolent school
food program into an army.
Mm.
Just another institution
hijacked by male ego.
And I know you can relate
to that, Dawn, 'cause, I mean,
- you spent some time...
- Oh, ooh, ooh!
- I got another story.
- [Connie] No, no, no, no.
You've had your fill, buster.
Wait, wait, wait.
You're with the FBI?
[both]
What?
Nobody else hears it?
'Cause to me, it sounds like
you with the bitch
from the FBI.
- [Mo and Marcus murmur]
- You know? [laughs]
You're okay w-with-with her
trying to set up Mo
and all those other
strong, intelligent black...
- Kings.
- Kings. Kings!
You are kind of
coming off like that.
- [Marcus] Shit.
- Mm-hmm.
All I'm saying is
if we want civil rights,
we have to be civil.
So I'm sure that agent
had her reasons.
[laughter]
What the fuck
are you talking about?
[Dawn] Bitch, you sound crazy!
This bitch sounds out
of her mind!
[Connie laughs sarcastically]
All right. All right.
[Dawn] Oh, my God!
Where the sake, baby?
...caucus headquarters
a bit less joyous tonight.
And now I'm hearing
that they're tallying
the final vote
in the contentious
neck-and-neck race
for Roger Harris's seat
in congress, and... yup.
Yes, it sounds like
they're prepared to call.
They're calling it right now.
The winner is
Congressman Roger Harris.
[cheers and applause]
♪ Upbeat music ♪
[all] Speech! Speech!
Go give the people
what they want.
♪♪♪
I want to thank the great
people of New York!
[Cheering]
Listen, uh, Blair.
I learned a lot of information
at that Halloween party
and tonight
they could fuck up everything
for everyone, but...
Oh, big surprise.
Keith's a rat again.
I was going to say,
"But I don't know
if I should use it."
You know, maybe I could
tell you what I know,
- and you could...
- What, confirm it for you?
How convenient.
Whoa, Jesus!
Whoa, whoa!
You got the wrong idea.
Please,
I was looking for a wire.
Like the one you wore
to my wedding.
What do you want?
I'm having a weird night, man.
I wanna help you, okay?
'Cause I was you.
And this doesn't end well.
Let's be friends.
Can you imagine how powerful
two guys like us
could be together?
I'm not your friend.
I'm not like you,
and I don't like you.
♪ Tense music ♪
Your funeral.
And I'd like to thank,
most of all,
my wife at home.
I love you, Mother.
And then the princess embarked
on her greatest adventure:
going a size down.
Can I play with your makeup?
Oh, sweetie,
I think you're a little young.
Daddy says
it makes me look hot.
You mean cute?
No.
[slowly] Okay.
You know what?
Um, why don't
we just play house?
Okay, how about you be the dad,
you be the mom...
And you be the mistress!
- Hey!
- [children laugh]
[boy] You liked it.
[Harris]
So glad we stayed
all the way to the bitter end,
huh?
Oh, yes.
Absolutely.
[photographer]
Say cheese!
- [all] Cheese!
- [Harris laughs]
[Harris]
Thank you, again, so much.
All right, good night.
Congratulations, Congressman.
I'm sorry I got
a little bitchy.
I was just nervous.
I couldn't have done this
without you.
No one got behind me
the way you did.
Maybe it's time
I got behind you.
[chuckles]
Well,
cute double entendres aside,
how quickly do you think
you can get behind
this bank bailout?
Immediately.
After I solidify my standing
and another term
seems in the bag,
I will slip it right in.
Wait, another term?
We can't wait that long.
Are you being serious
right now?
Blair,
pushing through a bailout
and benefitting
my campaign finance chair
right after the election?
Well,
that's just not gonna happen.
Big B, the whole reason
that I wanted to get away
from Newell
was so that I could start doing
things that I believe in:
helping the hardworking people
of America.
Fuck them.
Excuse me?
You heard me.
Fuck them.
You owe me.
We had a deal.
Okay.
This is a good night.
Let's not ruin it.
The limos are waiting.
Maybe we should ride
separately...
for the optics.
♪ Dark music ♪
I have a tape.
Remember Halloween?
I had the security cameras
recording
in 12.7 millimeter
VHS resolution.
How 'bout those optics?
What did you do?
Nothing.
Yet.
I am so sick
of this relationship being
on your terms.
You call when you want.
You disappear.
You snap at me.
You use me.
Sponsor the bailout
and no one has to see
you go down.
You're on the tape too.
It's mutually assured
destruction.
Try me.
First you try to bribe me.
Then you try to buy me.
Now you try to blackmail me?
I don't know who you are.
[scoffs]
I don't know
if I ever knew you.
Who are you, Blair?
♪ Sorrowful music ♪
♪♪♪
Excuse me.
Uh... uh, boys?
Pastor Swafford,
I have something
I think you're gonna wanna see.
[Keith] Larry!
You're never gonna believe
what I got on Blair
and that congressman.
Oof.
[distant groan]
- Hello?
- [glass clinks]
Larry?
Larry?
♪ Dark music ♪
[man groans]
Oh, my God.
Larry, are-are you okay?
Oh.
Hey, Keith.
It's me...
[grunts]
...Lenny!
No, no, no.
Lenny is dead.
Dead?
[laughs]
Oh, far from it, Keith.
You see, when that old man
fell on top of that car,
uh, my spine was shattered
to dust.
[pants]
I had so many transfusions
that the nurses would joke
that my blood type... [inhales]
...was "O-shit."
I was the lucky recipient
of the first ever ribcage
transplanted from an animal,
which never would've
been possible
without the help
of Dr. Bananas!
Mm, the brave
silverback gorilla
who gave her life
so I can breathe...
very-very painfully, hmm.
Wow.
Um... that... that sucks.
- I'm sorry about that.
- Yeah.
Um, is-is Larry around?
Are you fucking serious?
I have gone
through 37 surgeries.
I am part RoboCop, part...
[inhales] ...Donkey Kong.
And you have no follow-ups?
Uh, okay.
Uh...
how are you?
What have you been up to?
Well, you know.
Hiding in the shadows,
plotting, scheming,
doing PT.
Lots of... lots of PT
until I am ready
to reclaim my seat
as the rightful head
of the Leighman Brothers!
[laughs shortly]
[coughing violently]
Uh, okay.
All right.
So just tell Larry
that I-I dropped by,
and I'm gonna get out of here.
Wait!
Wait right there!
[pants] What were you
just talking about...
in there, about Blair
and the congressman?
Because there is something
very off about those two.
Keith, do you know
what I'm talking about?
No.
Yeah, I-I, uh...
- I don't.
- [scoffs]
I don't think I believe you.
Keith, I still think
you're protecting people
who don't give a soft shit
about you.
So pick a side, Keith.
Ours or prison.
Wait, what?
No, no.
That was never part
of the deal.
Larry and I are friends.
He needs me.
We're bringing
the Leighman Brothers
into the '90s.
He lied to you!
You are not needed, Keith,
because you are nobody.
You are nothing.
- Fuck you.
- [Lenny] Fuck you!
I want my revenge!
Or you go back to jail, Keith!
I want my revenge!
♪ Tense music ♪
Oh!
All r... I-I've seen enough.
Avert mine eyes, boys!
Disgusting.
[Blair] Could be
quite a scandal for you
if this tape got out.
Wonder what
your flock would think?
Or your daughter?
I imagine enrollment in your
conversion therapy program,
the Newell School
for Gayward Children,
might drop,
but it doesn't have to.
You're a man of influence.
Call the governor and all
your other powerful friends,
or I'm gonna call every
newspaper I know.
[Newell] You'd really
do that to Roger?
My mother used to say,
"In life,
when something breaks,
you can't always
put it back together,
but you can use the pieces
to move forward."
Your son-in-law broke
his bank bailout deal with me.
I'm just using the pieces.
Your bank bailout
for the video?
Exactly.
Nothing personal.
Just quid pro quo.
Done.
Give the tape to Gregory,
the dirty blond.
We're bankrupt?
Again?
Shut your pierogi hole!
You're just my sex Slav.
[laughs] Do Christmas!
[in thick Slavic accent]
McDonald's on Christmas?
It's tradition!
- [ashtray shatters]
- Whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay.
Okay, time-out. Time out.
- Now, let's not throw things.
- ♪ rock music ♪
Oh, no, no, no, no.
You wouldn't dare.
- [laughs]
- Put that down.
- Put that down.
- ♪ Kick it! ♪
Oh! Oh, you are
in so much trouble!
No.
This is unacceptable!
♪ Man, you don't wanna go ♪
[Tiff] Don't you dare
throw that!
- [boy shrieks gleefully]
- [Tiff] Oh, my God!
- No!
- ♪ You ask your mom please ♪
- ♪ But she still says no ♪
- No one can see that!
♪♪♪
Oh, my God!
♪ You gotta fight ♪
♪♪♪
- ♪ For your right ♪
- You know what you need?
♪ To party ♪
Ooh, you nasty woman.
[kids laughing]
- [chomp]
- Ow!
You little fucker!
Ow!
- You little piece of shit!
- Try anything!
Ow!
[kids cackle]
♪♪♪
[demonically] Come to Mama.
♪ Party ♪
♪♪♪
[doorbell rings]
Junior,
Eric, Ivanka,
time to go.
Where are your manners?
[Huffs]
- Where did she come from?
- She's a comedian.
- That shit's just funny.
- [laughter]
It don't make no sense to me!
He was plotting
against the governor.
Entrapment!
The government plotted
against him!
- They made him do it.
- Hey, Mo?
What is he doing here?
Hey, Mo,
can you come talk to me?
Keith, we're in the middle of
fucking dinner right now, okay?
Yeah, but I'm also
in the middle
of fucking something right now
too, so...
I really need a friend.
I'm not your fucking friend,
Keith.
Come on.
You wanna talk to somebody?
Go dial a 1-900 number
or something.
We're doing some black shit
right now.
Do you mind?
Fuck off.
All right.
- Fuck you.
- Fuck you.
- Oh, God. Guys, guys.
- [Keith] Fuck you.
[Mo] Keith,
you're interrupting.
- Fuck you!
- [Mo] Fuck you, Keith!
You're drunk.
What are you doing here?
At least I don't work
for the FBI.
Oh, yeah.
You did-didn't know that?
- [Marcus] Excuse me?
- Yeah, yeah, no.
- This is a little rat.
- Okay, look.
- Let-let's talk outside.
- No.
Talking's over now.
Let me tell you a little story
about this guy, Mo Monroe,
or whatever
the fuck his name is.
He was the guy behind
that whole Amerisavings
shootout shit
just, you know,
to fuck you over.
He wanted to take down TBD,
you know?
And then the FBI...
Yeah, oh,
she's undercover right now.
Great job.
I love the outfit.
She busted him and turned him.
[Laughs]
This is fucking bullshit.
Why would you... why would you
say all that, Keith?
Oh, uh, I wonder why?
'Cause you fucking
put me in jail.
- [Marcus] What's happening?
- [Dawn] I don't know.
I-I-I mean,
I wouldn't trust what he says.
Oh, you don't trust me?
Why should he trust you?
You're the one trying
to fuck over the AASF fund.
You are?
[Mo] Oh, shit.
But look, I'm no better.
I'm working
with Larry Leighman.
Guess you didn't know that.
I'm the one
who leaked the yen trade.
But I'm done.
I'm fucking out!
I don't wanna do this anymore.
For the last week,
I've been trying to figure out,
"Whose side am I on?"
And I just realized right now,
tonight,
I'm on my side.
I wanna be happy, okay?
I wanna be free of all of this.
So in the immortal words
of you,
"Fuck 'em all."
[clapping slowly]
Wow.
You know, he's right.
Fuck all of y'all.
And to answer your question,
Dawn, I am with the FBI, bitch.
And I'm ruthless,
just like you're gonna be
when your mom, Ruth,
is too ashamed
to visit you in jail
so you see a lot less of her.
That's a long way to go
just to get a dig in.
It was a stretch,
but the point is,
you're all going down.
No, no, no, you said you were
gonna leave Dawn out of it.
Look,
ain't nobody being left out
of shit anymore, Mo, okay?
Including you
and Larry Leighman, Keith.
Thanks for that, uh,
heads-up on your insider trade.
I'm coming for all of y'all.
So good luck sleeping,
'cause the next knock you hear
could be me.
[Knocks on table]
Power to the people,
motherfuckers!
Marcus.
Marcus.
Great job, Keith.
Well, all I wanted
to do was talk.
You motherfucker.
Babe, I had the worst night.
E...
Oh, my God.
What the fuck?
What happened?
I...
will never...
have...
kids.
Oh, no.
Babe.
Dang it.
I was really starting to
come around to the whole thing.
In better news,
I got the bailout.
It's a lot tougher than
I thought it was gonna be.
Blair, what the fuck?
...out of the 13th District,
sex scandal rocks
the political world today
when a VHS tape was
released...
[Blair] What the?
Newell released the tape?
...showing the newly elected
congressman
from the 13th district
in scandalous behavior.
Of course, neither he
nor his campaign headquarters
have commented.
[Line trilling]
Please pick up. Please pick up.
Please pick up. Please pick...
[Harris]
Please leave a message.
- Fuck!
- [Harris] ...after the tone.
Roger?
This wasn't me.
I-I-I-I did not do this,
and I am so fucking sorry.
Please pick up.
Please!
Fuck!
...involved in
scandalous behavior
with his finance
campaign chair.
♪ Discordant music ♪
♪♪♪
Roger?
Uh, uh, Congressman Harris?
It's Blair Pfaff.
[Chuckles nervously]
♪♪♪
♪♪♪
♪ Melancholy
orchestral music ♪
♪♪♪
♪♪